#regency!lark

Two years.

It’s been two long years since she saw him last.

They’d lived in the same county all their lives, but had only really become acquainted at eleven when she and her sister had moved to their Guardian's estate. The Mellark lands bordered Lord Abernathy’s and as a consequence the inhabitants of both houses spent much time together. The seeds were sown and while all the children soon became chums, Katniss and Peeta's friendship blossomed into romance.

By the age of sixteen they were madly in love and eager to wed, however, although the match was generally approved of, their prospects were grim. As a third son there was no land nor income to inherit, and even with Katniss’s generous dowry, the money would quickly dwindle without an occupation.

Peeta’s eldest brother Graham, head of the Mellark family, had proposed a solution; he would finance Peeta’s artistic endeavors abroad if he would only wait to attach himself until after his return. The offer was too generous for her to allow him to turn down for her sake.

So he had gone, and she had stayed and waited for his return.

“That was rather unladylike,” he teases in the affected accent of the odious vicar’s wife.

She scowls up at him, “Have you taken a fancy for fine ladies while you were away. You’ve always had a weakness for beauty.” She lifts her chin. “Perhaps you’d prefer Lady Undersee or Miss Cartwright?”

He uses his index finger to smooth the wrinkle in her brow. “An eye for beauty, not a weakness,” he says, cupping her face and caressing her cheek with his thumb. “No, you are still my one weakness. But what of you? Your new cousin is not as common as your letters would have had me believe. Do I have a rival?”

Colonel Hawthorne had become a regular fixture at Victor’s Village since her guardian had married his mother. He’s escorted her to many an event as an easy introduction to the eligible ladies of her acquaintance. Not that he needed it, his looks and military status were admired wherever he went. She supposes he’s handsome, but his smiles are far too rare for her to find him really attractive.

No. This man was her choice; anything else was unimaginable.

They’d coorsponded frequently over the years. Though it was the right decision, Katniss had spent many a sleepless night wondering if she could compete with the beauty and splendor he enjoyed while away.

He’s still smiling though she knows him well enough to see the uncertainty in his eyes. It had never occurred to her that he might be in doubt of her constancy as well.

Words often fail her at times such as these, so she allows her actions to lead. Grasping the hand that has since paused its motion, she turns it to find his ring. It no longer gleams as it had when she’d gifted it to him with the plait of hair, but she smiles despite it; The worn gold surface and fraying dark tresse a testament to its continuous wear. She runs her thumb over its surface, before bringing it to her lips, peering up at him through her lashes, “There is no competition. My heart belongs to you alone.”

He sighs and a rigidity she had not noticed previously, melts away as he leans in to rest his forehead to hers. “I have much to tell you.”

His voice sends a delicious shiver down her spine, and she can wait no longer, “and I should like to hear it all, but there will be many chaperoned hours to speak and only a precious few moments here alone.”

“Right you are,” she can hear rather than see his smile as his lips meet hers.

This was the place she first kissed him.

They’d been thirteen and playing ghost in the graveyard. Stumbling upon each other while hiding in the hedges, Peeta’s voice, not yet lowered, carried high over the shrubbery and in a desperate attempt to silence him, she’d kissed him… At least that was the excuse he’d given her meddlesome sister who’d spotted them.

At eighteen their kisses are just as giddy, if not half so innocent as the stolen ones of their youth. She loses herself and all sense of time in the reunion, until a feminine voice cuts through the passionate haze, “Mr. Mellark!”

They spring apart, wide eyed, and undeniably guilty, but the speaker is nowhere to be found.

“What a lovely party,” Katniss slumps in relief as Primrose’s voice floats over the hedges.

An indistinguishable muffled response comes from the same direction and Katniss turns back to Peeta, inspecting them both for signs of their wanton activities, before the voices raise loud enough to be heard yet again, “Primrose, now that we’ve dispensed with the niceties, you wouldn’t happen to know where I can find my brother, would you?”

“Last I saw, he was headed towards the house.”

She silently apologizes for any hash thoughts she’s ever had of her sister. She suspects Prim had caught on to their plot and followed her here to stand guard. Peeta could exit the maze to the north, round the corner and appear to have just come from inside. Katniss makes note to purchase a pocketful of peppermints for her sister in thanks on the next trip to town.

The male voice, Graham, she’s determined, hums an acknowledgement, “and what of your sister? I have not seen her this last quarter hour either.”

“I’m certain Posy is with Hazelle,” Prim says, sounding far too innocent to Katniss’s ear.

“That is not the sister to whom I refer.”

“Oh! You mean Katniss,” she winces at her sister’s overzealous acting. “Have you checked the refreshment table? She’s often stationed there.”

Forget the peppermints, she’d sneak pepper in Prim’s next cup of tea. She can feel Peeta’s body trembling with repressed laughter behind her and she jabs her elbow into his stomach. Perhaps she’ll add some to his next cup as well.

Graham’s voice comes again as another set of footsteps approach, “Ah, brother, you have just come from the house, did you see the guest of honor while there?” Really this was his fault. Had he not arranged this gathering for Peeta’s return, there would be no cause for them to sneak off.

“I did not. Is he missing?” The mirth is evident in the middle Mellark’s voice as he continues, “how curious, the elder Miss Everdeen appears to be missing as well? He has not been away from home so long as to lose his way in the hedge maze, do you suppose? I could rally a search party if you wish-”

Katniss huffs, none of them should expect decent tea next she pours.

“That will be unnecessary.” Graham says before raising his voice, “I’m certain wherever they are, they will both find their way back to the party before their absence is more widely noted.”

The trio depart with a choir of laughter, but not before the shrubbery in front of them jostles, from the other side.

~~~

As a child Katniss had assumed her life would always be an endless string of golden days; Her parents were hopelessly in love and she had the most perfect companion in her sweet little sister. Though they weren’t rich they lived comfortably and most importantly, they were happy. But then at eleven her father had died and she’d watched her mother die a slow and agonizing death from a broken heart. Their modest house was entailed to a distant cousin who was only fourteen himself with a mother and three siblings to support as well and Katniss’s days had faded to a dull gray hue while the Everdeen sisters had mourned their parents and struggled to adjust to their new lives.

Then her God-father, Lord Abernathy, had discovered their situation and invited them to live on his estate as his wards, and while their days had brightened to a rosier glow, Katniss could never forget the hollow look in her mother’s eyes in the weeks after her father’s death as she slipped away from them. Katniss would not allow that to happen to her. She knew she must marry one day, but she swore to herself that she’d never fall in love.

Luckily, she was friends with Finnick Odair; a staple of fashionable society and as such a collector of confidences. When she’d told him of her resolve, he’d been determined to assist her; To not love a husband was one thing, but to not respect him another.

An Earl was much more than the unexceptional daughter of an unknown gentleman could have expected, but they both had trusted Finnick’s judgment in the matter. He’d introduced them at a ball and though many found Graham Mellark’s reserve off-putting, she’d seen the practicality in the man who spoke directly to the purpose or not at all.

He’d called at Abernathy place the next morning where they’d shared tea in companionable silence and within the month they were married.

The first few weeks of their marriage, however, had been painfully awkward. Katniss might have begun to second guess her decision, had it not been for her new brother-in-law. Peeta began visiting frequently and seemed to always know just what to say to lighten the mood and put them both at ease. She realized she had never heard her husband’s laugh before his brother had visited. It had been Peeta who had given her hope that her marriage wasn’t a mistake, but beyond that, she’d enjoyed his company on its own merits. It wasn’t long before she had considered him among her closest acquaintances.

But then Graham had died and despite her careful planning and arranging she’d crumbled, because in the end, she had loved him in her own way. It wasn’t a desperate, wild, romantic love like her parents, but one born of familiarity, friendship, and mutual support.

Worse still, along the way she’d lost Peeta as well and although he’s returned in body, she will not allow herself to believe that they can ever be as they once were.

~~~

“I’m in need of a husband,” she announces as soon as the drawing room doors close behind her.

Finnick doesn’t seem surprised, appraising her over his cup of tea before speaking, “This is sudden.”

“Peeta- eh. The Earl of Bakerston has returned home.”

He nods his head, “then this seems an easy solution. You already hold the title, already live on the property and know the estate, you are both unattached, and last I saw, you are both mad for one another.”

She jerks back at his declaration, before she begins shaking her head, the force making her dizzy. “No. No, no, you are mistaken, we are friends… or we were friends… but that was long ago. I have not had a single word from him in two years!” She begins pacing the room and the words begin tumbling out, “oh Finnick, I don’t know what to do. He just… left. I know he had every right to do it. But oh, how I needed him. No, I am certain that he hates me. He would not have gone otherwise. Yes, he was mourning his brother, but so was I! Would it not have been natural for us to find solace in one another?”

“Only too natural and likely why he felt he must put distance between you two.”

Even in her grief she’d known how improper it was for her to ask Peeta to hold her as she’d fallen asleep. She’d asked too much of him. She was not his responsibility and making herself so had driven him away. She hazards a glance in Finnick’s direction to see if he knows the truth of it, but he’s wearing an impassive expression. She shakes her head before continuing, “And now he’s come back, to claim his dues, find his own countess and sire an heir. I have no legal right to any of it. I am at his whim, he could toss me out at a moment's notice. There’s no room for me in Bakerston any longer. Nor at Abernathy house.”

“He has told you this?”

“No, his arrival took me by surprise. I have yet to speak to him.” Oh, she was a coward.

“Ah, yes. That sounds correct.” She scowls at her friend but he waves a dismissive hand, “Sit down, lest you wear a hole in the rug.”

She sinks down on the sofa, “so will you help me?”

“Katniss, I am still not convinced my assistance is necessary. You really should speak to him. Unless you plan to uproot to Abernathy house in the interim, you’ll be sharing a home.”

She makes a distressed noise in the back of her throat. Surely he would take the Earl’s room right beside her own. The idea of sharing a wall feels… intimate. The act of an Earl and his Countess, not a man and his dowager burden. She hadn’t thought that far ahead. Perhaps she could have her things moved down the hall?

“Katniss, I know your reasons for seeking an uncomplicated match the first time, but now that you’ve weathered the worst and come out the other side, would it not be better to take your time and marry for affection? You will not need my help for that.”

She rubs her temples. She was relying on his continued understanding on this front. She wonders when he’s become such a romantic.

He sighs , “well if you are determined, I will only ask that you speak to Peeta before I lend my services.”

His brother turns to face them, brow furrowed, “I did not think you would wish to attend.” Graham could be so obtuse. “My business is unmovable, but perhaps Peeta could accompany you?”

Katniss peers up at him through her lashes, quite oblivious to the effect she has. He tilts his glass in her direction, “as you wish.”

She smiles, the first real smile all evening and he feels a twinge of guilt accepting her thanks. It’s not as if it’s a sacrifice. He secretly revels in being appointed her companion and protector if only for an evening.

Soon after, she walks him to the door.

“I could speak to him,” Peeta says when they’re out of earshot, “Offer to handle some of the business so he might have more time for you. It must be lonely without your friends.”

She waves him off. “His work is important and gives him purpose. I’ll survive. Besides, it’s not so bad. Yes, I miss Madge and Hazelle’s company at the balls and assemblies, but I have you,” she grabs his hand and squeezes.

It’s an innocent gesture between two friends, family really, but he still must force the smile to remain in place as he bids her goodnight, opting to walk all the way back to his apartment instead of accepting the carriage.

He’d never coveted anything of his brother’s: Not the title, not the land, nor purpose. Even as a child when his brother was doted over, while he was ignored, he’d always understood it for the heavy burden that it was. He’d never cared for any of it, until he’d met his brother’s fiancé.

In the two years they’d been married, Peeta had been a constant companion. At first he’d visit in hopes of squashing his silly obsession with his sister-in-law. He’d made it his mission to find her flaws, no matter how petty they be, but discovering Katniss’s scowl and preference for sweets had only reinforced his feelings. Furthermore, somewhere along the way, he’d become friends, and quite good ones at that. There was nothing more satisfying than being sought out by Katniss in a room full of others, or of making her laugh. Now, years after that failed experiment, he couldn’t bear to stay away.

But bear it he must, Peeta decides later that evening. He and his brother have always been close, brought closer by the death of their parents and brother. He cannot afford to let jealousy poison the relationship.

He’s mulling over his next course of action when his housekeeper rushes in with an urgent summons to the Mellark house.

He can’t remember a moment of the dash to his brother’s home, nor how he made it from the front door to the doorway of the drawing room.

He scans the space in search of his brother and some explanation. Instead he spies Katniss sitting on the sofa stock still, her complexion sallow and eyes vacant. Lady Abernathy sits on one side, Primrose on the other, clasping her hand, pleading with her to speak, while Lord Abernathy paces the room.

Something is very wrong here.

The conversation moves on, but Katniss’s mind cannot. She must know. It is Wednesday today; she won’t survive the suspense if she must wait to know the truth.

Eventually Aunt Mags requests fresh air. Katniss lingers in the hall as her cousin and aunt ready. “If you will not think me impolite, may I inquire after the Vicar’s Christian name? I believe my father knows of a family by that name,” she asks Mr. Odair.

“Of course! Mr. Peeta Mellark, of the Bakersfield Park Mellarks, though they may not claim him at present. His mother was not pleased with his choice of career, she had meant for him to marry an heiress and take up a smart profession. He’s all but disinherited as I understand it.”

Her heart does a small flip and she sways on her feet, before begging off to lie down.

She scarcely knows how she makes it from the foyer to her room, but once she’s there she’s too agitated to sit. Pacing, she attempts to recount every word of Mr Odair’s tale; If her Peeta Mellark is really the man from his story, then surely she must be the woman.

She’s not so vain, but she cannot deny that her voice is admired wherever she goes. She recalls the look of genuine awe on Peeta’s face as she’d sung, memories she still holds dear. If there had been another woman in the county he admired, she cannot bring her to mind, for as long as he’s held her silent interest, she’s never known him to show preference to another…

But what of his mother’s whispered triumph?

This seems a harder task to reconcile, but when she looks in her heart, she can see the truth clearly now. Of the two, who has she known to be cruel? Surely not the kind boy she’d first notice sneaking food to the hungry children of the perish. It was true too that she had watched him deceive his mother in this undertaking, but though he may have a talent for duplicity, he was not callous or self serving. No, those were traits she’d observed in his mother.

Within an hour she is quite convinced of it all. Oh what a fool she’s been!

She spends the remainder of the week between agony and hope. He’ll not have known she was here when he accepted the appointment, she’s certain of it, but has her name chanced to come up since he’s arrived? Will he be anticipating her? And if so will it be with desire or dread.

On Saturday, Katniss dresses with particular care. Completing her preparations with a small length of trim she pulls from its spot, deep within the recesses of her drawer.

The walk to Fourlands feels the longest of her life, but it’s still far too soon that they’re ushered into the sitting room and then there he is.

Her breath catches at the sight of his smile, quickly slipping as his gaze lands on her. He doesn’t speak, but his eyes show the alarm as he attends to introductions.

Mr. Odair says her name and she extends her hand; The sleeve of her dress slips up to reveal a ribbon tied to her wrist and she watches as the soft orange color catches Mr. Mellark’s attention just as she’d planned.

Last year during their courtship, they had chanced to cross paths while out shopping with her mother and sister.

Surrounded by ribbons of every shade, she thought nothing of pointing out one that reminded her of the willow tree that greets her outside her window each morning when he’d asked her favorite color. He’d smiled so sweetly her heart had done a small flip before she could ask him his own. He had selected one the color of the sunset beyond the meadow and in a moment of boldness, she’d plucked up the orange ribbon and purchased a small length. Seeing her do so, Peeta had done the same with the green. They hadn’t exchanged their purchases, it would have been improper to do so, but it had felt like a small rebellion to tuck the orange trim into her pocket.

The ribbon was far too dear to simply trim a hat or glove. Instead she’d woven it in her hair, worn it on her ankle, or tucked it beneath her shift. Had it been a gift, she would have been forced to return it after their dissolved courtship, but as her own purchase she had hidden it away, taking it out to stroke the silky surface, despite her resolve to never look at it again.

Peeta’s eyes flit from her wrist to her face then back down again brow creased, but the moment is over too soon as tea arrives.

As they all sit to converse, Katniss drinks him in: If the blue eyes, that seem to often find her look a little dimmer, it does nothing to diminish his beauty. It leaves her with an ache in her heart and a longing to speak to him, but as they trail behind the acknowledged lovers in the gardens after tea, she can’t find the courage to begin.

Just as she’s imagining the silence may kill her, Mr. Mellark speaks, “Ms Everdeen, please let me assure you I was unaware of your being here when I applied to the living. I had no intention of forcing my presence upon you after our parting. Whatever ill you think of me, please acquit me of that.”

“Mr Mellark, I assure you, I imagined no such thing.” She forces herself to hold his gaze, “I was very pleased to discover your appointment here.”

“I am glad of it, though I am surprised after our last conversation.”

She looks away, “I must ask your forgiveness for my brusqueness at our parting. I had heard a vicious rumor of your motives towards me… I am ashamed to say I believed it. I have since reconciled myself to the truth and find only myself at fault.”

They are quickly approaching Mr. Odair and Annie who have paused on the path. Her fingers find the ribbon at her wrist involuntarily and his eyes linger on the silky thread. She lowers her voice at the last that she may speak her heart before they rejoin the others, “I bitterly regret my rash judgment, for although my faith may have wavered, my affections never could.”

He has no chance to respond as her cousin steps forward to take her arm and they move back towards the house. She scarcely knows whether to be disappointed or grateful at Annie’s intervention.

It isn’t until they’ve reached the house that she has the courage to meet his eyes. He holds her stare as he pulls his watch from his pocket; a flash of green catches her attention. A ribbon, her ribbon; secured to the end of his watch chain. His eyes flit down to the time then over to her before addressing the party with his farewells. But before he leaves, he approaches her, dropping his voice to a no more than a whisper, “May I call upon you at your aunt’s, Ms Everdeen?”