#regarding electronics

there is no way in hell-

so for about 9 months in the 6th/7th grade, i took my grandmother’s old phone from the kitchen of our house (she just kinda gave it to us cause she got a new one, it was an old-ass samsung) because nobody was using it, it was old and just sitting there. i kept it hidden in this like little nook in my bedframe and used it every night. that was one of the happiest times of my life, because i was actually updated frequently on shit that was happening in the world i cared about. and i did a damn good job of hiding it until my mom walked in on me using it during the day. we had an entire chat about how the internet was dangerous and shit. 

thing is, in 6th grade i would literally bring it to school. nearly everyone who had a class with me knew about it and how it wasn’t mine. i have no clue how my parents didnt find out. i even kept my parents out of the parent-teacher confrence that quarter because i was scared one of the teachers would mention the phone. and once it had been found, it vanished.

i figured they had thrown away, or maybe given back to my grandmother. maybe hidden somewhere deep in my parent’s room, which i am rarely in because the entire upstairs if our house is just their room and i have no reason to be up there. but today someone came to fix our dishwasher, and i have to keep our dogs up here so they don’t go apeshit on the guy. and i was placing down my milkshake... and i just spotted it.

sitting on my mother’s dresser. fairly visible. i think there used to be papers on top of it, because i’ve looked at her dresser plenty since 7th grade. its the same phone. it probably has all of my apps, and my screenshots of kiribaku fanart. it’s dead, but if i knew where the charger was, i may have not been able to keep myself from taking it. the nostalgia is the weirdest thing, because along with all the joy, there is a HEAVY, HEAVY guilt. but i know the feeling of that phone. i know where the paint is flaked on the sides, i think if someone told me to lick every phone in the house i would know it.