#refarious

Ratchet watched as Nefarious set to work fixing Commander Spog’s voice modulator after being thoroughly beaten by him not to long ago. He thought for sure the doctor was going to rip the old warbot’s modulator right out, ignoring the deal Clank made. But there he was, very reluctantly, repairing the old bot while simultaneously trying to keep Qwark from offering any “help”.  

Ratchet smiled to himself, despite the circumstances and the very real possibility that they were all stuck on this remote planet the galaxy forgot for the rest of their lives, seeing Nefarious so out of his element and willing (albeit reluctantly) to help out...was nice; a different change of pace for the hero. Being good looked good on the doctor, though Ratchet would never say that out loud.

It certainly was an adjustment, for all of them, to “live” and work together in order to survive and make their way back to civilization. The bad chemistry between all three of them didn’t help make it easy. And Nefarious stated multiple times that despite his words and actions on the Great Clock, he had no true animosity towards the great Secret Agent Clank. But the even WORSE chemistry between Qwark and Nefarious always threatened the fragile peace the group had. Ratchet was sure that Clank was the only thing keeping Nefarious from tossing Qwark off a fjord.

“QUALIFICATIONS?! YOU CAN’T EVEN BOIL WATER; WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN FIX A VOICE MODULATOR?!”

And there it was, the fragile peace broken for the fifth time that day.  

“Captain Qwark please, I offered Dr. Nefarious’ help with this for a reason. Not even Ratchet-”

“Don’t drag the boy into this, he’s entirely too young to understand the complex and delicate nature of robotics!”

“HE’S THE SAME AGE AS ME!”

“Please don’t bring me into this...”

Ratchet snuck off to the side as Qwark and Nefarious continued to bicker and Clank tried to play referee. He always tried his best not to get involved in the arguments the two had; the one time he did, he sided with Nefarious and Qwark ran off into the brush, feeling betrayed by his “one true loyal fan” and it took them hours to find him. Qwark sat like an overgrown green toddler afterward, being disciplined by Clank for thirty minutes.

He sighed as Qwark and Nefarious kept bickering while the robot kept working on Commander Spog. Ratchet was impressed with the doctor’s ability to multitask like that. His mind must be in multiple places right now, but he kept working. Kept moving deft claws around delicate circuitry while telling Qwark to walk backwards off of Obani Draco. Impressive. Ratchet wondered if Nefarious was thinking of the conversation they had after Qwark had run away. It was...different.

“-bestselling Happy Platypus addition, then I think I know a thing or two about fixing a voice box! And I know you’re doing this part wrong!”

“Say that again with my BOOT up your-”

“Doctor please, there are children present!”

“Heyyyy I’m seven years old! I’m not a kid anymore!” Susie suddenly yelled from the sidelines.

“BESTSELLING!!!”

Nefarious angrily swung his leg into Spog’s face (and Ratchet had no doubt that it was the aforementioned boot he wanted to give to Qwark) and the loud resounding clang silenced all arguments. No one spoke, everyone staring anxiously at the old warbot who just wanted to retire after all of this was over. Even Nefarious had the sense to look a bit ashamed at what he had done. Ratchet slowly made his way back over to the group. Nefarious hadn’t...kicked Spog’s head off...did he?

“It was Nefarious, not me! You all saw him kill that Captain Sprog guy!” Qwark suddenly yelled out, breaking the tense silence and deflecting all fault to someone else.

“ME?! I’LL KILL YOU MYSELF, THIS YOUR FAULT!”

A soft chime suddenly rang out, cutting through the newest quarrel that threatened to turn physical. All the attention was back on Commander Spog, the sound coming from him. Nefarious released the warbot’s head and slowly backed away as he rebooted. No need to be directly in the line of sight of a robot that tried to kill you only a few minutes before. Everyone but Ratchet took a step back as the commander rose; no one really trusting the warbot not to grab them all up.  

“Alright Spog. We did our part. Now how do we defeat Ephemeris?” Ratchet had no idea if the commander would really help them. He didn’t know the warbot like he knew Nefarious; he didn’t know the right words to say to get Spog to work with them in their time of need. All he could do was put on a brave face and hope for the best. And hope Nefarious still had his Orb of Gratuitous Confusion still hidden on him somewhere. Just in case.

The commander was silent. Why couldn’t these bad guys just get straight to the point like Nefarious? Ratchet had to admit he liked that about the robot. No beating around the bush; he let you know he was going to beat you to death and did it. Wait, focus on Spog before he caught you off guard.

“My knowledge is limited. Only the architect knows. He lives beyond the lighthouse, in the forest of the blue rocks. Be cautious. And thank you.”

The old warbot took off without another word. Ratchet let out a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding. He turned towards Nefarious and gave him a thumbs up (with a smile to match). The doctor really helped them out. And that’s when he saw it. It was quick and Nefarious would later swear up and down that it was a trick of the light and dust in the air. The robot’s faceplate looked a bit red. Was he...blushing?? Nefarious turned and stalked away, clearly flustered and absolutely done with the entire day.

“Hey, where ya going?! You did the right thing doctor!” Qwark yelled out, noticing Nefarious walking away.

“Get bent!”

-

That was two days ago.

It wouldn’t leave his head. It happened so quickly and he left so suddenly, Ratchet thought that maybe he imagined the entire thing happening. Cause if it actually happened...why was he still alive? Surely, he would’ve been killed in his sleep since he was the only one who saw it. Nefarious blushed. Ratchet gave the doctor a silent compliment and he blushed. And he liked it.  

That is to say, he liked that Nefarious, even for a split second, showed an emotion other than hate for the predicament he was in and extreme disgust for the group he was stuck with in said predicament. Yes, that. And nothing else.  

Today was a day to cool off and relax after the battle with Commander Spog, they all needed a little break before continuing to find this architect guy; but cooling off and relaxing seemed to be the only thing Ratchet was incapable of doing when that’s all he wanted since the start of this mess. Nefarious was at the forefront of his mind. Why? He didn’t know. He was glad the robot wasn’t here; Ratchet was sure that he would stare a hole into the doctor’s head if he was. Subtlety was not exactly his strong suit. Most of the time.

Ratchet appreciated and loathed the time off. He appreciated having time in-between fighting and adventuring to just breathe; but at the same time, he needed something to do. He needed something to work on, busy his hands and his mind. Distract himself from lying here and thinking about Nefarious.  

Nefarious. He was definitely something else. Ratchet admired the doctor’s tenacity and his ingenuity. The immeasurable stick-to-itiveness in the face of defeat. The way Nefarious was able to command the spotlight with ease (whereas Ratchet only just got around to working on his stage fright.) And though he would never admit it out loud, his ruthlessness on the battlefield was something to behold. But he would never let the doctor know, the robot didn’t need his ego inflated any more than it already was.

“Well, you’re harder to find than an ottsel’s hideout.”

“Wha-uh Nefarious!?” Ratchet scrambled to sit upright as the robot practically ripped bushes out of his path, making his way over to the Lombax. Speak of the devil and eventually he’ll answer. “S-sorry, were you looking for me?”

“No, I just decided to spend thirty minutes of my time looking to the sky for shits and giggles, WHAT DO YOU THINK?!”

“Sorry!”

“Whatever.” Nefarious thrust his entire right arm into Ratchet’s lap. “My elbow server isn’t actuating properly. Normally I wouldn’t have a foul squishy like you fixing it, this is something I’d rather have Lawrence do while I watch the latest Lance and Janet episode.”

“And?” Ratchet shot a glare to the arm in his lap and to the robot in question. What was Nefarious up to now?

“And the last time I trusted Qwark with any part of me, my body was living it up in Pokitaru while my head was in Zordoom for a month!”

Ratchet shot the robot a displeased look. “You know, there should be a ‘please’ thrown in somewhere there.”

“Do it or I’ll break your elbow server!”

“Nefarious, I don’t have an elbow server...”

“FINE! Whatever it is that keeps you damnable squishies together!”

“Weren’t you a squishy once?”

“...that’s debatable.”

Ratchet laughed. “Right, of course.” He sighed and started popping open the armour shell on Nefarious’ damaged arm. There was no point in trying to wrestle a “please” or anything else close to it from the robot. Ratchet didn’t think the other had it in him to try and be pleasant. He didn’t know how the doctor managed to fake it with the Fongoids and not implode, but that was a conversation for another day.  

He poked around the delicate wires and treacherous looking machinery in Nefarious’ arm, humming and sneaking quick looks at the other’s face. This was the closest he’d ever been to the robot outside of battle. Ratchet never gave a second thought about the two of them practically on top of each other when they were fighting. This was an entirely different situation and he was surprised the doctor wasn’t freaking out, being this close and having his arch enemy poking through his delicate insides. Nefarious had his head turned away and resting on his left hand, eyes half lidded with an absolutely disinterested look on his face. Seeing him this calm and quiet was...nice. But still a little weird. But it wouldn’t do well to focus too long on such a small observation, he could miss the thing he was looking for, focus Ratchet.

Ratchet couldn’t find what was causing Nefarious’ elbow servers to act up. All the chip boards he could see looked fine; wiring was firm. He looked further down from the elbow joint into his forearm; amongst all the lights blinking at him he noticed something amiss. It was so small; Ratchet thought to himself that if he kept sneaking glances at Nefarious and taking in his once in a blue moon calm demeanor, not paying close attention at all, he might have missed it. And he didn’t want to know how Nefarious would react if couldn’t find a solution, with the only explanation he could offer being “I couldn’t stop looking at your face.”. He’d like to live to see tomorrow thank you.

“It looks like something was accidentally magnetized, probably when you were working Spog. I can reverse that no problem!” Ratchet proclaimed, reaching into his pocket and procuring his ever trust worthy travel sized toolkit. ‘Never leave the planet without it’ he always told Clank, and right now he was glad he followed that mantra.

“Wait, do you actually know how to fix it?” Nefarious asked incredulously.

“Of course I do, I help Clank with these kinds of things whenever he needs it and for whatever robot that wanders into my garage. I can fix more than ships you know.”

“So how do I know you’re not pulling my leg then? Or you won’t rip off my arm and send me off a cliff?!” There was the paranoia, Ratchet hadn’t seen it in a while. He gently pulled the arm Nefarious was trying to wrench back into his control with little success. The arm just wasn’t responding.

“I don’t have anything to gain by leaving you unable to move and defend yourself. I want to get you off this planet too.”  

“Really?”

“Yes, really. And if that means giving a couple of repairs to the guy that’s tried to kill me more than once, I’m happy to do it.”

Nefarious fell silent at that, no longer trying to will his arm to magically get up and run away, and Ratchet took that as his queue to get to work. Nefarious seemed...put out, like that small conversation had taken all the air out of him and now he didn’t know what to do. But just as soon as the thought had entered the Lombax’s head, it seemed like a spark reignited in the doctor and he reinflated, turning to Ratchet and flicking his forehead.

“Ow! What the hell Nefarious?!” Ratchet hissed, the hand not currently holding a very important piece in the robot’s arm rubbing at his forehead.

“You just carry tools around with you? Why? And why didn’t you tell Qwark? We could’ve fixed his weird kaleido-cube thing and not hear him whine about it for two days straight!”

“Well yeah! Part of that was just to get back at someone for getting us into this mess in the first place!” Ratchet snapped back.

Nefarious scoffed.

“AND it's also in case of any emergencies, something needs fixing-”

“Or you need to hotwire a ship for a quick getaway?” Nefarious asked, his trademark sneer fixed on his face.  

Ratchet tensed a little, then relaxed, laughing nervously at the sudden question thrown at him. Damn it, he couldn’t look up at the robot. “Oh...so you remember that conversation, huh?”

“Of course I do! Finding out the greatest hero the universe has ever known still has warrants out for his arrest?! This is the kind blackmail material any villain worth his salt dreams about!” Nefarious laughed.

“Yeah...let’s not tell anyone about that?” Ratchet continued tinkering away at the inside of Nefarious’ arm, feeling the heat rising in his ears. WHY did he go ahead and tell Nefarious a thing like that so casually? “That was just a seriously bad habit I picked up from this guy named Jak...I’ve been meaning to stop!”

“And?”

“And...trying to get away from the cops in a damaged, street legal mind you, racing ship is a lot harder than it looks!” Ratchet finally looked at Nefarious; glaring at the robot as he laughed at him.

“Street racing, stealing ships AND resisting arrest?! Ratchet, how could you?!” Nefarious asked, placing his free hand on his chest place and feigning shock. Ooh Ratchet hated that smirk.

“H-hey! You’re the villain here! My crimes are victimless!” Ratchet exclaimed.

“Tell that to Old Man McCree who just lost his only way to get to Galaxy Burger. A victim of your so-called ‘victimless crimes’, I feel so bad for him....” Nefarious sighed, wiping away a fake tear. Ratchet just scoffed, going back to his work.  

“...how fast did you say that scooter went?”  

Ratchet perked up. “After I souped it up? Oh man, it broke sound barriers.” Ratchet sighed dreamily.

“And the old squishy’s heart.”

The two looked at each other and laughed at Nefarious’ absolutely terrible joke. They fell into a comfortable silence as Ratchet went back to work on the doctor’s arm. Nefarious felt calm and tense at the same time, glaring into the bushes like he was daring someone to come into the small clearing they were sitting in and say something about him being handled by a squishy. Would it be weird assure Nefarious that no one would think he was “betraying” robotkind being fixed by an organic lifeform, if anyone did come looking for them?  

Maybe it was for the best he just kept quiet and let Nefarious do whatever it took to help him feel better about this whole situation he was in. Ratchet wasn’t entirely sure the robot was okay with him messing around in his arm like this (and being an organic lifeform while doing it) and if glaring at the bushes, waiting to tear apart anyone who dared to come through and question them kept Nefarious quiet, then so be it. All Ratchet wanted was to enjoy this.

He soldered one last piece that looked off and paused. But..why did he want to enjoy this? It didn’t matter, question it later and let Nefarious go before he exploded.

“Andddd done. All patched up.” Ratchet declared, closing Nefarious’ armour. He quickly gave it a once over, confident in his work and urging Nefarious to try his arm out. The doctor gave him an uncertain look, obvious not confident in Ratchet’s work.

“Trust me doc, I know what I’m doing, and it should work. Try it! Please?”  

Nefarious continued to give his arm all his uncertainty and decidedly ignoring the pleading look Ratchet was giving him. It took everything in him to ask the squishy for help, and double that to trust him enough to fix his arm and play around with his exposed insides. But the doctor could sense no ill will from the other, just and honest and genuine need to help someone in need. So...he should put his confidence in the Lombax’s abilities and trust that his arm was working like it should. Right?

He wiggled his fingers, bent his arm slowly, suddenly thrusting violently into the air, startling the squishy next to him.

Right.

Nefarious gave his arm a once over and got up. Maybe Ratchet was the one squishy he could trust while stuck out here in the boonies. From a distance. At arm’s length.

“Uh, its just a patch job! I don’t have all my tools with me, but once we get back to Polaris I can-”

Ratchet paused, blushing as Nefarious suddenly shot him a look that surprisingly wasn’t murderous. Was it grateful? Appreciative?  

“Thanks.” Nefarious roughly growled. He turned and walked back the way he came, stomping through the flora he ripped out not to long ago. All Ratchet could do was stare starry-eyed in the robot’s direction. It was crude and he could barely hear it...but the doctor thanked him. Him! A squishy and his sworn enemy!

Ratchet felt a grin creep up on his face, but it was dispelled just as fast when he saw the robot quickly turn back to him and shoot a nasty glare his way. He stared back, wondering what in the world he did to anger the doctor now?

“This,” Nefarious motioned between them. “Stays between US. No one else. Got it?”

“R-right! Got it, Space Ranger’s honour!”

“Yeah, right.” Nefarious growled, finally out of sight.

But not out of mind.

Ratchet could feel the fur on his face burning. Why in the wide world of arena matches was he blushing? He tried to will it away, rubbing away at his face.

“It’s no use...” Ratchet whined, falling back onto the ground he was trying to enjoy before Nefarious showed up.

Nefarious. Why was this menace to the universe (on of them at least) causing to be so off his game today?

“What is going on?”

It was a sudden boom that woke Nefarious up and put him instantly on edge.

He had powered down for a bit, shut down anything that didn’t need to be on to save energy and keep the current occupant in his lap warm. Nefarious had stayed awake for weeks prior, making sure his plan for Qwark went off without a hitch (so much for that) and making sure his “hideout” stayed off the grid and didn’t attract attention. The only means he had of even staying booted up were through archaic USB plugs. The option of “sleeping” by shutting down for 8 hours never crossed Nefarious’ mind during those long four weeks.

Holed up in cramped working quarters, surviving off of nothing but Galaxy Crisps, Nefarious was grateful for this small downtime to really recharge. But only two hours into a much-needed rest and the danger they were trying to avoid reared its ugly head. Nefarious booted up fully, keeping his eyes on the entrance of the cave. The noise he was hearing was coming from above, but he had no doubt that Nevo’s robots would find the entrance (and its two occupants) sooner rather than later.

Nefarious took a moment to glance at Ratchet. All of this noise and not once did he stir. Was he holding a rock or a Squishy? Ratchet had to be the heaviest sleeper he ever had the displeasure of knowing. But he supposed Ratchet needed the rest just as much Nefarious did. But now wasn’t the time to remain blissfully unaware of the situation, their lives were very much at stake, and he’d be damned if he died in a cave on a remote planet, of all places. An even louder boom rocked the cave, throwing him off balance. Nefarious’ eyes went back to the ceiling. What were those robots even trying to do?

“Clank, keep it down, would you? It’s...sleep time.” Nefarious’ attention was dragged back to the snoozing Lombax. He growled a bit, all of this commotion, and he STILL wasn’t awake.

“Sorry to burst your bubble Sleeping Wumpbeast, but your robotic pal isn’t here. Just me.” With that, Nefarious stood up and let go of his grip on Ratchet, letting him unceremoniously drop to the ground. He woke up with a start, mouth open and ready to scream obscenities at whoever treated him so rudely. But Nefarious was quick, already leaning over Ratchet and slapping his claws against his mouth, giving the Lombax the universal sign of ‘shut the hell up, we’re in danger and if you yell, we’re dead you squishy idiot’. Green eyes widened at that. Ratchet nodded, signaling his understanding of the situation they found themselves in.

Another quake from above shook the cave, but this time it was closer to the entrance. Nefarious wasted no time grabbing Ratchet and dragging him further into the cave. They stumbled over stalagmites as the rumbling near the entrance grew louder. Nothing scared Nefarious. Things ran from him, not the other way around. People feared for their lives in his in presence; he should not be fearing for his. Fearing for Ratchet’s. This was not how any of this was supposed to go.

Ratchet scampered over a fallen boulder and Nefarious followed suit, sliding into a small space between the cave wall and whatever Ratchet was trying to give him. The hazy blue light from outside didn’t reach so far back, so it left the pair sitting in total darkness, save for the dim red glow of Nefarious’ optics. The only sounds they could hear was Ratchet panting and the hum of Nefarious’ motherboard. The sounds from above had stopped. Did the robots move on? Or was it all a trap?

“Nevo’s robots?” 

The question was so quiet he nearly missed it. Nefarious nodded. “I don’t know if they actually found us or if they’re going around trying to scare us out of hiding.”

“Well, we’re probably going to get killed just sitting here, we have to do something!” The desperation in Ratchet’s voice was loud and clear, even though both of them were barely whispering. What could they do? Try and fight a whole horde of robots bent on wiping them off the planet? Which was an idiotic plan no matter how one approached it. Make a run for it and hope Nevo’s robots don’t catch up to them? They were already lost in this forest as it was, running blindly into it hoping not to be killed was just as idiotic as the last plan. There wasn’t anything they could do that wouldn't end in their demise. And turning themselves in was the absolute last thing anyone wanted to do.

Nefarious could practically see the wheels turning in Ratchet’s head, the Lombax thinking up any and every plan to get them out of this mess, and ultimately discarding whatever he came up with. His tail moved agitatedly across the ground while he tapped at the dirt and quietly mouthed whatever he came up with. Nervous habits he wasn’t even aware the other had. But what did he have to be nervous about (other than a gruesome death that was decidedly undeserved?) Nefarious was quite certain that this kind of situation found its way into Ratchet’s life on more than one occasion (and Nefarious was sure he put the Lombax in a few of said situations) and the rodent had proven himself in every one and gotten out alive, though a little worse for wear. Or were these little habits par for the course? Something that sprung up when whenever he was in trouble? How in Zoni’s name did he manage to hide that from the group this whole time? That was some good blackmail material for future schemes. Now though? It was...troubling? Bothersome? Nefarious would find the right word later. Time to get through this uncomfortable...thing that was eating at him.

“Don’t...overthink this.” Nefarious felt himself stumbling over his words. It brought the other back to reality (and Nefarious pretended the owlish stare Ratchet fixed on the robot didn’t make him feel better.) Why was this so hard? “You’ve been in worse situations than this haven’t you?” Stupid, stupid, stupid. Of course he has, you caused them! Nefarious wanted to rip his lower jaw off and never speak a word ever again. This situation, the mess they were in, it was messing with him and he wanted out.

“Yea...I have...but this time feels different. I feel off? I guess? There’s a million thoughts flying around my head but I can’t hold one down.”

Nefarious let out a mechanical sigh and peeked at the entrance to the cave, trying to collect his own scattered thoughts. Ratchet stilled, keeping his eyes on Nefarious, hoping the other had thought of something when he could not. He could swear he felt the crack above his eye itch.

It didn’t take a super genius to figure out what was wrong with Ratchet. The boy didn’t have Clank with him. The other robot grounded the Lombax. Took the scattered thoughts and made them organized.

But how? That was the part Nefarious couldn’t figure out. Neither could look each other in the eyes in the middle of a fight and say everything would be alright. You can’t offer a soothing hug in the middle of a dog fight. Nefarious chanced a look back at Ratchet. How did it-?

He bit back the urge to scream, instead rolling his eyes back as far as it could go. Realization hit him like an asteroid breaking through the atmosphere. Clank was Ratchet’s anchor. A literal one. An ideal size and weight to concentrate on and keep one grounded in reality.

Anchored to his back...

Nefarious was sure that if he could blush, his face would be bright red right about now. Every question, every wistful thought, every argument he had these past couple of hours fought its way to the forefront of his mind. This was absolutely not the time for his usual word wall. This wasn’t the time to be...feeling! But heavens above, he was a simple man and he took what he wanted.

And he wanted Ratchet.

Wanted him to know it was alright, that’s what he meant. Yes.

(He was very certain the planet was trying it’s hardest to kill him, one way or another.)

Everything in him felt strained and pushed to its limits as he reached over. Clawed fingers hesitated, hovering a hair’s breadth away from the Lombax. Ratchet’s eyes never left his face. He took hold of the other’s arm, feeling the sinewy muscles underneath yellow fur quickly tense up, only relaxing when the rough handling he experienced earlier didn’t come. Nefarious was grateful the other choose to stay quiet, willingly letting himself be pulled along, and back into the warm embrace only minutes before he was suddenly removed from.

Nefarious felt him squirming and his body shake with every quake from the robots above. Was he always this antsy? No, restless. Or was this because Clank wasn’t here? Nefarious felt himself scowl, thanking his lucky stars Ratchet was turned away from him. Jealousy? Him? No point in denying it anymore.

There was no way out of the situation they currently found themselves in. Anyone could see that. Ratchet had looked to him for a solution, and for the first time in his life, Nefarious couldn’t offer one. Would Ratchet, if they made it out alive, think of the doctor any less?

Not the time, Nefarious.

“I’m not going to lie to you,” Nefarious ground out, still deathly quiet. Ratchet shivered, no longer cold, but not expecting such a somber, gravelly tone from the other. And so close. So close. “There’s no way out and there’s an eighty percent chance we might die in here. All we can do is wait.”

Ratchet let out a little laugh, still restless, and squirming in the doctor’s lap. “Waiting and watching was never my strong suit.”

Nefarious laughed along with him. Restless. He was a poor excuse for a Clank replacement, yes, but the other was still jittery. His tail started moving on its on again, slowly the disturbing the ground underneath. Very curious.

“Something you and I have in common; I suppose.”

“Oh there’s more we have in common, Qwark is the bane of both our lives.”

Okay, the restlessness was starting to get annoying. They were supposed to be keeping still, not alerting their pursuers to their location. Nefarious placed one hand on Ratchet’s chest, pressing him slightly against his chest plate and another hand on his thigh, squeezing it, not thinking through what he was actually doing. Ratchet stilled.

“And he got us both trapped in this mess.” Nefarious growled out.

“Yeah.” The other huffed.

The doctor barely noticed his hand traveling up the other’s leg, too busy trying to keep Ratchet still and calm. Too preoccupied with trying to figure out exactly how Clank managed to keep the Lombax grounded without actually being there. He barely noticed Ratchet carefully sliding back more into Nefarious’ embrace. The slight movement dragged the doctor out of his thoughts. Did it seem louder in the cave? Warmer? He felt something snake its way around his waist and all his scattered thoughts snapped to attention. That was Ratchet’s tail. Was he doing it on purpose or did it have a mind of its own? Damn his lack of knowledge on Lombaxes.

Nefarious felt his mind beginning to spiral when he felt it. While Ratchet’s tail wound its way around a metallic waist, the Lombax himself was grinding his hips down. But it was slight, barely noticeable unless you were tuned into every movement of the squishy whose very life was in danger. Now everything made sense. But gods above was he inexperienced.

He had been in previous relationships, sure. But most were for show, to gain a powerful ally in his push to rid the Solana Galaxy of every living organism (and get back at Qwark), others...he never made it past dainty kisses and being cooed over with the Valkyries. In all of those relationships, he never took control, choosing to give the reins to partners behind closed doors and put on a show of power in public.

Nefarious let his claws drag along Ratchet’s inner thigh and felt him shudder. But he could see how it could be enticing, being the one in control for once.

“A lot in common, indeed.” Nefarious whispered. Why was it so loud in this blasted cave? Was it actually loud? Or were his servers overheating and going crazy?

And here was another intrusive thought, did Ratchet treat all of the people in his life like this? No, he wouldn’t...right? Or was Nefarious just that naïve in how various relationships worked? He didn’t know. But he did know he didn’t want anyone else to be able to experience...whatever this was that was happening. If they managed to even survive this cave, or this planet.

“Or survive that insufferable noise...” he growled.

“W-what noise...?”

Curse his inability to keep his thoughts to himself and his mouth shut. It was going to get him into trouble one of these days. Well, more trouble than he was already in.

The doctor flexed his claws in irritation and heard Ratchet bite back a moan. He quickly decided that was the cutest thing he’d ever heard come from the squishy, but if he wanted to hear more, they needed to be quiet. “That...noise!” Nefarious hissed, gripping Ratchet’s thighs instead to keep the noises coming out of him to a minimum.

“It sounds like they’re drilling above us, we need to-”

“Uh...its...not the robots" Ratchet interrupted, making sure to keep his face out of Nefarious' view. "It's me.”

“It’s...what?”

Ratchet’s tail tightened the hold it had on Nefarious’ waist and Ratchet silently cursed the predicament the two found themselves in. The heat coming off Nefarious in waves felt so good and the tight grip the robot’s claws had on him made thinking extremely hard. Ratchet honestly didn’t want this to end. It was so good.

“I-I’m pretty sure...Nevo’s robots moved on a while ago. The sound...is me....purring...” Ratchet barely whispered out the last of his words, his face felt like it was on fire. Why him?

“Purring? What in the hell is that?”

Ratchet inwardly groaned. Nefarious was either being very good at being an evil mastermind and toying with him, or he honestly didn’t know. He gave the doctor the benefit of the doubt and hoped it didn’t come to bite him in the tail later. “I don’t know if others do it...but when Lombaxes feel good....we purr.” And with that, Ratchet was ready to be tossed off Nefarious’s lap. Gods help him he never had to explain that to anyone, it was so embarrassing! But he was never in a situation with someone else where this would arise, not even with Sasha. Nefarious already had a piss poor view of organic lifeforms and this little (embarrassing) tid bit of information on a near extinct species was not helping his case.

What he didn’t expect was to be drawn in further in Nefarious’ embrace, if that was even possible. The robot growled out a harsh laugh, close, so close, to Ratchet’s ear. He jumped, but gods he enjoyed it.

“Well now, seeing that we’re out of harm's way, I’d like to do some...research. See how long we can make you purr.” Okay, now Ratchet’s head was spinning and he was sure his fur was turning as red as he felt. Damn his bodily functions. He didn’t think Nefarious would like that and take advantage of it! Wait, Nefarious liked it. Did he...

“N-Nefarious do you-”

“-come in Ratchet. Where are you?”

“Clank?!”

“Ratchet?!”

Nefarious growled. “Of course.”

It felt like the Lombax had exploded out of his embrace as he called for his teammates and waved around his com for a better signal. The tail that was once encircled around his waist was stood up at attention, the relief was so evident in Ratchet’s entire little body. His excitement. Relief to get away from Nefarious’ grasp? It made sense. Excited to never be alone with the robot like that again? Nefarious felt his optics darken a bit at that thought. Of course, nothing good happened to him. Why should he have considered himself lucky to get in the Lombax’s good graces, and see a side no one else had seen?

It wasn’t for him. Nothing that good was ever for him.

“Qwark and I are en route to your exact location; we should be there in two minutes.”

“Ratchet! Hey little buddy do your favourite galatic president one tiny favour and tell Nefarious I have a bone to pick with him! How dare he-”

“Qwark please, this is not the time! We have to get them before Nevo’s robots come back!”

Ratchet laughed. “We missed you guys too. You wouldn’t BELIEVE the situation we were in.”

Nefarious quietly mocked the conversation as they crawled their way out of their hiding spot, and eventually out of the cavernous hole in the ground. Was it childish? Absolutely. But he was a bit upset at Ratchet’s abrupt departure and excitement at being recused. No wait, no one could be angry at being rescued. But this was different, he had to know what made Ratchet tick. He had to know that he wasn’t going crazy (crazier than he already was) and that all of Ratchet’s attention was reserved for just Nefarious, no one else. He needed to know if the Lombax treated all of his friends and acquaintances...that way.

“Ratchet! Oh, sweet Zoni it is good to see you guys!”

And being interrupted like this (by Qwark of all people) was maddening, to say the least. Nefarious would never get another opportunity like this again, and he knew Ratchet would make sure of it. To stay as far from the doctor as possible. Nefarious glared at the rapidly brightening sky as he marched behind the Lombax. He hated the galaxy’s piss poor attempt to make up almost killing them. A sense of humour indeed. And nearly tripping over a stopped short Lombax just had to be the kicker, wasn’t it?

“What’s the big idea?!” he shouted. He was in no mood to play games with anyone. Nefarious just wanted off this planet and back home to sulk. He almost screamed again when Ratchet hushed him but quickly kept his mouth shut when he felt that blasted tail wrap around his arm. That thing must have had a mind of its own and Nefarious realized it drove him crazy. In a good way.

“Looks like we have a little research to do later, huh?” Ratchet shot Nefarious a smirk he knew would drive him up the wall. And it was working, but Nefarious was showing perfect restraint. He had to with the rest of their party within earshot. Impressive.

Nefarious could do nothing but stare at Ratchet as Qwark LOUDLY made his presence known. He tuned out of the absolutely disgusting display of a sweet reunion and was honestly amazed with himself for keeping as calm as he did all this time. Something was mellowing him out. But now he knew. He was certain.

Ratchet was for him. What he saw in the cave was for him.

Was it all just for the doctor? Nefarious had no doubt he would find out and nothing would stop him or get in his way.

Terrawatt Forest wasn’t always like this, dark, wet and mysteriously creepy. No, it used to be vibrant and full of colour, a popular getaway spot for the average Tharpod and the most elite of Polaris. The prized jewel of Magnus. That was, until a meteor strike changed everything. Nights suddenly became longer and colder, the sweet air now heavy with the overpowering stench of mildew and fungi. Once docile wildlife mutated into horrendous predators. It became an inhospitable spot on Magnus for centuries until Dr. Croid made his way through.

None of this was readily available information to anyone outside of the native Tharpods. After the meteor strike, Magnus fell from Polaris’ radar, and the events of the planet were only told through storytellers and Tharpod Elders to the young ones, so history would not be forgotten. The little Tharpod child who acted as the group’s guide through Magnus knew all about the treacherous environment of Terrawatt Forest. Which made her neglecting to tell anyone about it even more infuriating.

This planet was infuriating. This forest was infuriating. This mission was DOUBLY infuriating. This situation Nefarious had trapped himself in. Very confusing.

Nefarious’ dislike for organic lifeforms was no secret to anyone with half a brain (the only exception being Qwark.) If you had flesh and blood, you stayed at least ten feet away from the mad doctor at all times, lest he shoot you at point blank range, or (as one weird rumor stated), he would rip out your heart and eat it in front of you while you slowly died. Nefarious had no idea how that rumor started, but he wasn’t about to go correct anyone about it. In reality, he actually hated touching squishies. The very thought of it made his daughterboard want to freeze up.

Nefarious was keenly aware of the bundle of furry squishy he was currently embracing, snoozing away in his lap.

A bundle of HEROIC furry squishy that he was embracing, who was supposed to be his rival and dead set on throwing Nefarious in prison.

The previous day was more than a challenge for Nefarious both mentally and physically. Ratchet had taken to hiding against Nefarious whenever a squadron of murderous robots crossed their path, and it was an exercise in control to not freak out at him and blow their cover. The two of them alone were no match for an army of robots, and being gunned down in a backwater planet in a remote part of the galaxy was not the way either of them wanted to go.

As the day wore on and patrols became more frequent, Nefarious found he didn’t mind Ratchet invading his personal space. In fact, he found himself enveloping the Lombax and pulling him even closer, tighter. If ratchet had noticed the change in his partner’s demeanor, he didn’t say. Nefarious didn’t notice himself until he found himself wondering how exactly he got himself into this situation. Willingly touching a squishy.

Lawrence would be proud of him (maybe), step one of a multi-step process into becoming a rational robot, touching a squishy and not immediately going into shock (right after a quick blaster shot to the chest.) But where did “letting a squishy sleep in your lap so he doesn’t die from hypothermia while you sit and suffer with your thoughts” fit into that process?

He honestly hated this downtime. It gave one too much time to think and reflect, and Nefarious was never in the mood to do either nowadays. Thinking too much always branched off into dangerous waters. Barring the great Secret Agent Clank, Ratchet was the only being in any galaxy Nefarious could tolerate for longer than a minute. The Lombax’s fiery personality and utter refusal to let anything defeat him were, dare he think it, charming. No. Admirable. He liked those traits in Ratchet and Ratchet alone. He brought about a sense of clarity in Nefarious when others would just bring chaos. He had no clue how that worked, not having a strong grip on your sanity meant you didn’t worry about the minute details of how things worked.

Nefarious was sane enough though, to have a basic understanding of his emotions at the moment and the thought currently is his head. He was loathed to admit it, practically hated that the thought even crossed his mind and cemented itself there in the first place but having this annoying pathetic excuse for an organic lifeform currently snoozing away and enveloped in a warm metallic embrace…was actually kind of okay. Nice? Whatever flowery word that could describe what he was feeling wasn’t coming to mind, which Nefarious was grateful for, as he wasn’t the kind of robot to use any kind of “nice “words on a squishy. Let alone one who was supposedly your mortal enemy.

Nefarious felt his mind backtrack. Yes, Ratchet was supposed to be his enemy. Someone you shoot first and ask questions later or killed on sight. A foe until the end of time, a deplorable squishy, someone a robot was not even supposed to like! Right? Supposedly. But life wasn’t so simple for any of them.

Real life tossed a monkey wrench into the relationship and turned it on its head. Being trapped on this planet with no obvious way out and being forced to work with those he normally couldn’t stand to be in the same room with was forcefully mellowing him out. Ratchet’s cool and calm demeanor was definitely a factor at play in Nefarious’ new found zen.

Ratchet kept an amicable peace among the group. And in turn, the ragtag group of heroes, robots and an absolutely idiotic galactic president worked together well enough to survive on Magnus. He even showed Nefarious respect the robot wasn’t entirely sure he earned. Flashing pearly white smiles Nefarious’ way, cheering him on when a task proved to difficult for the rest of them to complete (or any task really.) Always sparing time to listen to Nefarious air grievances about Qwark and the situation they were currently trapped in. Did Ratchet always treat people this way? Nefarious even found himself pining away for the Lombax when Ratchet left on “missions” with the little Tharpod girl.

Nefarious wasn’t going to lie, the attention and praise he got from Ratchet felt good. Zoni knows Nefarious didn’t do anything to deserve it, but the Lombax happily gave it to him anyway. Did he treat all of his friends and acquaintances this way? Or was it reserved for Nefarious turning over a new leaf and not killing everyone in a fit of rage during this journey? The robot found himself thinking he didn’t want anyone else to receive the treatment he was getting. It was reserved for him and him alone. But what brought about those possessive feelings out of nowhere? He needed answers, his curiosity would not let him rest until he got them.

But that line of questioning would only bring about even more curious questions from the Lombax that Nefarious wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to answer. Or even had a reply to. How would Ratchet even react? Would he stop treating Nefarious differently? He didn’t think he could handle that. Would he stop talking to Nefarious entirely? If he only had Qwark to listen to for the rest of this trip, Nefarious would rather toss himself to other murderous robots.

Maybe it would be best to let sleeping crocadogs lie. Just bask in this moment and enjoy the ones to come. Maybe if everyone survived and made it off this miserable rock, Nefarious could ask the questions starting to plague him. Yes, his sudden change in attitude was, at least to Nefarious, very quick and sudden. But this wasn’t something a robot like Nefarious wanted to sit and stew over, especially when the very object of his affection was blissfully sleeping away in his lap. Completely unaware of the storm brewing outside their shelter and inside Nefarious’ mind.

All this downtime gave one too much time to think and reflect. Nefarious hated that.

.

.

.

They had wandered around the forest for an hour non-stop. Nefarious was surprised Ratchet could keep up. The duo kept ducking behind trees whenever they came across Nevo’s robots. Taking on a whole squadron with just the two of them would be impossible. Nefarious found Ratchet had taken to pushing himself up against the robot whenever they hid from the enemy. At first, it was annoying and he was going to (loudly) let the Lombax know as such, but remembering that certain death was right around the corner, he kept his mouth shut. Now, he made sure to pull Ratchet against him whenever they had to hide.

Oddly enough, it just felt natural to him.

-

“Is your communicator working yet?”

“No, we’re still out of range. How does anything get DONE in this stupid forest?!”

They were still lost. And well out of range of any signal in order to message their other companions. Ratchet spotted a cave and all but forced Nefarious inside it when it started to rain. Night had fallen and the cold was starting to set in. Nefarious was indifferent to the drastic change in temperature, but Ratchet could feel the biting cold all the way to his bones. He had tried for hours to hide it from Nefarious, not in the mood for a “this is why robots are superior to squishes” rant.

“Are you seriously cold? Ha! How pathetic!”

Obviously he didn’t hide it well enough.

“Yes! It’s cold as balls out here Nefarious, how can you not feel it?! I bet Poiktaru can even feel it, its so fucking cold!” Ratchet barked. He had finally given up and curled up into the tightest ball he could to retain whatever warmth he had left. Nefarious continued to laugh at the pathetic sight before him until the Lombax threatened to shoot him out of the cave with the Vac-U.

“If you MUST know, we OBVIOUSLY SUPERIOR ROBOTS have built in temperature control. How else would I have survived in the deep freezing cold vacuum of space without freezing, DUH!” Nefarious knocked on his chest plate, shooting Ratchet a smug look. “I’m just oozing all that beautiful warmth you so obviously need to survive. What a shame you won’t get the chance to make it off this miserable planet, what with being a giant fucking icicle and everything.”

“What the hell Nefarious?! Why are you holding out on me?!”

“Because I don’t like you?”

Ratchet could do nothing more than glare at the robot. It was too cold, and he was using too much energy arguing his partner. He was tired.

Nefarious gave a nasty sneer in Ratchet’s general direction when he didn’t hear a comeback from him. He was gearing up with more insults to throw at his partner when he noticed the Lombax wasn’t moving at all, he didn’t even look like he was breathing. Nefarious frowned. He could let Ratchet sit there and freeze to death, call the whole thing an accident and there wasn’t anything he could do because the good doctor was out trying to contact the rest of his team. But then Clank would hate him, or be disappointed in him. And having Secret Agent Clank hate him didn’t sit right with Nefarious. He could live with Qwark hating him.

“Hey...”

“...”

“WAKE UP YOU MISERABLE RODENT!”

Said rodent woke up with a gasp, startled into falling off the boulder he was sitting on.

“Wha-what happened?!” Ratchet screamed. Nefarious glared at him and beckoned him over. Ratchet gave the doctor a confused look. “Me?”

“Yes you, you idiot. Do you see anyone else in here? Get over here before you freeze to death.” Nefarious snapped.

Ratchet smiled. He hurried over to the robot and sat next to him. His smile turned into a frown when he noticed he couldn’t feel any of the heat that was supposedly rolling off Nefarious in waved. Ratchet craned his neck up to ask the other if he was lying about being a “superior robot” when he felt Nefarious’ claws suddenly bite into his arms. 

“Nefarious, what the hell?!”

“You’re sitting in the wrong spot. Moron.”

“Wha-”

Nefarious easily lifted Ratchet from his spot and deposited him in his metallic lap. The change in the Lombax’s demeanor was almost instantaneous. He pushed himself into Nefarious’ chest and seemingly forgot that the robot’s claws were still biting into his arms. It was just so warm. A content smile spread across Ratchet’s face and he started to drift off to sleep.

“Thanks Nefarious...I needed that...” Ratchet mumbled.

The robot huffed and didn’t bother responding. He glared out of the cave, the tall mushrooms they had passed earlier were glowing, casting an eerie blue shadow into their shelter. He hated this planet. Nefarious turned his attention back to the furry bundle in his lap. Ratchet’s head had fallen into the little crevice between his shoulder and his torso. That couldn’t have been comfortable.

“I swear if you tell anyone about this I’ll kill you.”

Nefarious put Ratchet’s head back on his chest and wrapped his arms around the Lombax to make sure the other didn’t move anywhere. He placed his head on top of Ratchet’s and sighed.

“Look’s like I’m not powering down tonight...”

He hated how natural this felt. He hated how good it felt. He hated this miserable planet and everything on it. But the Lombax’s annoying presence made things somewhat tolerable.

Ratchet went back to sweeping when the ballad turned into an upbeat song, bouncing around with a stupid grin on his face. Nefarious growled a little. He couldn’t believe the nerve of the little fuzzball. Being that cute should’ve been illegal.

“Aah, creepin on Ratchet’s clean-up concert too Nefarious?” Nefarious swore he felt whatever soul he had left leave his body. Gods help him if his sisterboard crashed and he stared broadcasting Lance and Janice and gave away his hiding spot to Ratchet. A hand clapped him on the shoulder and someone sat down next to him. Nefarious shot a dirty look to the cretin who dared disturb him AND invade his personal space, and of course it was none other than Captain friggin Qwark.

“Qwark?!” Nefarious hissed, careful to keep his voice down. “What are you doing here?!” 

“Oh I’m always here to watch Ratchet’s cleaning concert, he does this every month!” Qwark grinned. He pushed a bucket of popcorn into Nefarious’ face. “Want some? I got extra~!”

Nefarious frowned and pushed the food out of his face. He fully intended on leaving the vicinity now that his entire day had been interrupted, when he suddenly remembered Qwark’s earlier words. The robot growled and stuck a claw in the other’s face.

“I do NOT creep. I OBSERVE, you blithering idiot. And what do you mean every month? If anyone is creeping on him, its you!”

“Watch where you point that thing, you can take an eye out for Zoni’s sake!” Qwark tried to push the offending, very deadly, appendage out of the way but the robot stubbornly kept it there. Oh how he hated Nefarious’ freaky robot strength sometimes. He sighed and moved his head out of the way. Nefarious simply pushed the flat end of his claw into his cheek. So much for personal space.

“You’re not creeping, yeah right! And I’m the queen of the tyhrranoids!”

“Keep it DOWN you buffoon! We don’t need Ratchet knowing we’re both up here!”

Qwark pouted and huffed. He ignored Nefarious and went back to Ratchet’s “clean up concert”. Another ballad had come on while the two were bickering and Ratchet was back to swaying his lithe form. His back was facing them and his tail wrapped around his waist. Qwark’s blue eyes drank in the whole thing and Nefarious wasn’t having any of it. 

“Don’t tell me you have a crush on Ratchet. Cause thats just gross.” Nefarious laughed. He needed to get Qwark’s attention away from Ratchet and back on him. No one needed to be looking at the Lombax like that. Well...no one apart from himself.

“Pot calling the kettle black much?! And would you move your finger already?! Jeeze!” Qwark was so predictable. Nefarious removed his claw and continued glaring at his current headache.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Who wouldn’t enjoy seeing the little guy move around like that?” Qwark continued on, totally ignoring Nefarious’ question. “Like, seriously, I thought Courtney Gears pulled off some moves, but Ratchet blows her right out the water. Your crush on him is totally justified Neffy. Hell I think I have one on him!”

“I do not have a crush on a stupid SQUISHY.” Qwark spared the robot a knowing glance at this and pointed to Ratchet.

“Tell me that again when this song is over.”

Nefarious turned his attention back to Ratchet. The two man sat and stared as the Lombax continued to sing into his broom, reaching out to an audience that wasn’t there. He dragged a hand through the fur on top of his head and gripped his chest. Ratchet continued sweeping the last of the bullet casings one-handed as the song continued on. Seeing the emotions play across Ratchet’s face, Nefarious knew he was completely enraptured and he hated it. He hated that Qwark was right but he would never admit to that to him. He hated that he had some weird emotional connection to a SQUISHY. A squishy who was supposed to be his nemesis! Of all the things in this dimension, why did it have to be a squishy he was supposed to hate?

“See Nefarious?” Qwark piped up when the song was over. “Its not so bad to admit your feelings from time to time. Why I-”

“HEY! YOU TWO ENJOYING THE SHOW?!”

Qwark froze and Nefarious nearly fell over from the shock. They both looked down into the garage and saw Ratchet smiling up and waving at them. 

“Wha-?”

“When did he-?”

“Just so you know, you have to pay to see my next clean up concert!” Ratchet laughed. He continued laughing as he saw his “audience” scramble up from their spots and shove each other through the door.

“Those two are so predictable.” He mumbled as he put away all his cleaning supplies.

-

Nefarious made a bee-line for...well he didn’t know exactly where but he knew he needed to get away from here. He heard Qwark calling his name but ignored him. He didn’t need that idiot lecturing him on crushes and he definitely didn’t need Ratchet finding them and teasing them even more. He stopped when he felt he had gotten far enough away and leaned against the wall, already feeling his sisterboard starting to freeze up.