For the longest time I have felt convicted of not posting enough about how we can learn from the Lord, and things to do in order to improve our relationship with him. Instead I check my dashboard every day and scroll through random images that leave little hope in my heart, or a longing in my soul for the Lord. I simply look to look. Maybe it was beacsue I feel like I shouldn't remind people of their own sins and ways they can be walking with God when I can't get my relationship with straight to begin with. But it seems even when I try to blend in with the world again, I am called back to be humbled at the cross. No matter what I do I can't ignore the spirit within me, screaming and kicking at my soul to come back. It frustrates me because I know that the Lord has marvelous plans, plans that will prosper me, make my joyful. But I get so caught up in the world, in my appearance, in sin that I forget who God really is in my life. It's a big mess, really. Suturday Night I had watched Passion of the Christ for the second time. It always astonishes me how humbled I am. There is no image like that of our Savior Jesus Christ being beaten, spit on, whipped, and then crucified, that can stay in your mind. I think of that every time I am faced with tempation. It breaks my heart. It opens my eyes to how much I need Jesus. Gosh, I am almost without words. God is the only thing that keeps my heart alive. If I have one prayer request for this week it's that to pray for my relationship with him. I know in the end, my decisions are the ones that are going to either damage or improve it, but please pray for my faith. I want nothing more than Jesus.
