#rednightmar3

tw: panic attack

“Time starts now!” They heard Axl yell from outside the door, and Duff turned to Slash. “So, Shirley. Nice to meet ya.” Slash giggled, trying to sound as girly as possible as he replied, “Hey, Duffy. You’re a cutie, aren’t ya?” He slurred his words, trying to sound drunker than he already was, as he had stolen from Axl’s stash of the hard stuff. Duff was so fuckin’ thankful for the darkness to cover his face, as he was sure it was bright red. “You ain’t too bad yourself, Shirley. Say, how ‘bout after all this shit is over we head back to my place?” Slash cracked, laughing as quietly as possible. “I can’t take this seriously, dude I’ve gotten hit on so fuckin’ much tonight!” Duff instantly felt jealous, but tried not to let it creep into his voice as he responded.

“You still gonna catcall those chicks at school now?” He could feel the wind as Slash vigorously shook his head, practically yelling when he said, “Hell no! That shit is terrible! It made me feel all horrible inside, and I was literally doin’ nothing! I was just wandering around and had my ass grabbed three times! Man, I’m gonna go and personally apologize to all those girls.”

Duff smiled, even knowing Slash couldn’t see him in the darkness of the closet. He sat down, hearing and feeling Slash sit next to him. “Do you know how much time we have left in here, pretty boy?” Slash asked, running his hand up and down Duff’s arm. Duff tried not to start freaking out at the nickname, and the touch, and shakily replied, “Uhm, I don’t know.” Slash definitely noticed, leaning closer to Duff’s face and tracing his hand up and down his arm, moving his other hand to his knee. “Nervous?”

“Just a tad, being alone with a pretty girl like you.” Duff tried to play along, hearing Slash giggle and his smile being the brightest thing in the room. “You have a pretty smile,” Duff said, being fully honest. Slash dragged his hand up his thigh, squeezing it slightly. “Thanks, sweetie.”

Duff felt his face heat up, and to match Slash’s energy he hesitantly placed his hand on Slash’s thigh. Slash just laughed softly, and Duff was trying to read into his every action. He paused, realizing that their time in the closet had to be nearly up, and since he would never be this close to Slash again and he would never be this fucked up again while being this close to him, he closed the gap and kissed Slash.

He felt Slash’s mouth part in a surprised gasp, before pulling away quickly. He removed his hands from Duff and scooted away slightly.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck-

“Was… uh, was that still acting?” Duff could hear the apprehension creeping into Slash’s voice and quickly tried to dissolve the situation but genuinely could not get any words out. He felt the air leaving his lungs and he didn’t realize he was crying until he felt a tear land on his cheek.

Duff opened his mouth to try and apologize, but all he could manage was a strangled sob. “Are you okay, man? I’m not mad, I just-” He was cut off by the door flying open, and Axl’s silhouette being the only buffer from the bright lights from outside. “Alright love birds- woah, Duff, you alright?” Duff tried to pull a hand up to cover his face, but was stuck, frozen to the spot. He watched other people crowd around the doorway, but could only bring himself to focus on Slash’s breathing from beside him. He shut his eyes and managed to squeak out, “Yeah, I’m alright.”

Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale.

He matched his breathing to Slash’s next to him, which while it was still fast it was at least slower than Duff’s and it was something to grab onto. He hesitantly opened his eyes, and managed to get his feet under him. He stood up slowly, but then ran out of the closet. Before he turned to the stairs, he stole a glance back at Slash.

He was still sitting on the floor, watching Duff run out of there with a confused expression on his face. He was softly touching his lips, his mind going a million miles per hour.

Why the fuck did I enjoy that? I’m not gay, I’m not gay, Duff is your best friend, you’re not gay for him. It’s not gay to kiss your homies! Even if I’m wearing drag right now, it doesn’t make me gay.

Right?

Duff sprinted past the guys on the stairs, ignoring their lazy grabs at his ankles and turned down the hallway. He’d been to Axl’s before, he knew this house. He opened the door he knew was the bathroom, but seeing it was already occupied by a group of girls he shut the door and moved on. Duff opened another door, this led to a guest bedroom but panicked when he saw two people absolutely going at it. Actually, he was pretty sure it was Steven and Adriana, so he moved on.

He flung open the door to a different bedroom, probably a spare and heaved a sigh of relief that it was empty. He closed the door, not bothering to lock it as he crumpled to a heap at the end of the bed. He let sobs consume him, hugging his arms and knees close to his body.

“Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit.”

He repeated this, almost like a mantra as he cried. He could feel his head beginning to hurt as the sobs continued to rack his body, and tried his best to stop but it only made it worse. He couldn’t get his breathing under control, trying all the methods he had been taught but none of them seemed to work.

He had a stupid song stuck in his head, and it was all he could hear as he tried his best to calm down. Suddenly, it all stopped. He stopped crying, he stopped breathing, and he stopped shaking uncontrollably. This moment lasted for a few seconds before Duff screamed in pain, burying his face in the blankets and shaking pathetically as the sobbing came back. He wrapped his arms and legs as close as he possibly could, his weeping turning into screaming as he struggled to calm down. The shaking came back, worse than before, and he could only repeat a useless breathing technique to himself to hang on to something.

“One, two, three, four-” he couldn’t complete it, stuttering on the word four before breaking down again. He looked up at the clock, then back at the door wishing he were home. He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling himself calm just a bit before crying out again.

This seemingly endless cycle continued for what seemed like hours, but only a few minutes had passed before Duff heard a quiet knock on the door. “Duff?” Slash’s voice was muffled and Duff felt himself tense up at the sound of it. He bit his hand, trying not to scream but a strangled cry still made its way out of his mouth as the door was slowly opened. Slash stood in the doorway, staring at the scene in front of him. “Shit, Duff,” he rushed forward, remembering to shut the door before stopping just in front of Duff.

“Can I?” His hand hovered over Duff’s shoulder, and Duff just continued sobbing into the blankets, no response. Slash rested his hand on Duff’s shoulder, running it up and down his arm while he sat next to him. “It’s okay, it’s okay, you’re safe, you’re gonna be okay.”

Duff continued to shake, but his sobs were becoming less violent. “I’m sorry,” he choked out, his breath hitching as he said it. Slash shook his head, rubbing his arm. “No, please don’t apologize, I’m not mad, it’s okay.”

Duff looked up at Slash, reaching up to wipe the tears from his eyes. “Really?” Slash nodded, but Duff was still crying. He needed to distract him, and he suddenly knew exactly how as soon as he recognized the song playing downstairs. “Hey, Duff, what do you know about Led Zeppelin?” Duff lifted his head, turning his gaze to the door. “Oh, I know this song. Man, I love Led Zeppelin…” Duff started to talk on and on about them, and eventually his tangent led to other bands and Slash joined in when he could, trying to keep the conversation going.

About five or so minutes had passed from them talking, and Duff seemed to have calmed down a considerable amount but he would still occasionally stop what he was saying and stare into space and take a deep breath before continuing. Eventually, Duff sat up and stretched, locking eyes with the clock. “My mom’s gonna kill me but I can’t drive home this late.” Slash wanted to offer him a ride, but he then remembered all of the alcohol consumption that had taken place that night and didn’t bother to bring it up. “Should I just sleep here? Axl won’t care, I used to practically live here.” Duff looked back at Slash, and Slash just shrugged. “Whatever you want.”

Duff threw off his shoes, and climbed into the bed. He slid off the tutu and tights from under the blanket, still wearing boxers, and tore off the gloves and tiara. He watched as Slash stood, walking to the door. “Is there anything you need?” Duff was gripped by panic yet again, imagining being alone again and opened his mouth to ask Slash to stay but instead of an actual request all that came out was a timid, “Stay.” Slash turned, reaching to take off his jacket. “Are you sure?” Duff nodded, watching as Slash stripped to as little clothing as Duff was wearing, and slid into bed next to him.

“This is like the sleepovers we used to have,” Slash said, turning to face Duff. Duff smiled, agreeing and admiring his face. They laid there for another minute or so until Slash drifted off first, leaving Duff awake and alone with his thoughts.

I don’t think he cares, but I do. I don’t want to have ruined our friendship, even if I’m the one who’s acting differently.

Duff watched Slash’s breathing, slow exhales and inhales. He just looked at his face, noticing small details before turning to his back, instantly feeling awkward.

a sluff fic

SLASH- I admired myself in the mirror, silently thanking my mom for my ass. Damn, I was sexy tonight. I had already worn this a few months ago, but this time was special. I was dressed to impress, and impress I would. Maybe my scrawny freshman ass would be made fun of, but fuck it, I was gonna have fun tonight.

DUFF- I plucked through my closet, searching for the final piece to my costume. I needed the gloves I had bought around a week ago, elbow high white silk gloves. I’m not entirely sure what I was being, but it included a sparkly pink tutu, a plain white shirt, fishnets, and a tiara. I hoped Slash would be there, he said he would, after all. I wondered what he was gonna show up as…

Slash stepped out of his car, walking a block to Axl’s house. He was throwing a Halloween party, and nearly everyone was invited. As he rounded the corner, he could already tell which house it was. He stepped up to the driveway, already absorbing the vibe. You could feel the bass under your feet, lights were flashing in every window, you could hear yelling from the backyard, and the whole premises reeked of booze and weed. Just his kind of atmosphere. Before even going up to the door, he glanced around for quick exits if the cops were called. He doubted that would happen, as this neighborhood was known as “Party Central” at school.

He staggered up the driveway, wobbling on the heels he borrowed, and flung open the door. He was welcomed by Izzy throwing himself onto Slash, shaking his shoulders vigorously. “It’s about time you got here! Food just arrived, fuckin’ knock yourself out.” Slash took in Izzy’s costume. He had a little wire halo above his head, cotton balls glued around it. He had fake angel wings on his back, and just a white shirt and black jeans on. “Axl’s the devil,” he gestured over to the living room, where Axl had little devil horns on and had four girls sitting around him and two other guys, all playing spin the bottle.

Slash chatted with Izzy for a minute, but then soon worked his way deeper into the party. His original assumption was correct: people did stare. But not in the way he thought they would.

“Who’s that?”

“Damn, she’s hot!”

“She looks so familiar I just can’t remember from where…”

Slash held back a grin, walking confidently over to the drinks. He snagged a beer from the watery cooler, and moved to meander around the house. He had practiced his woman voice, finding the perfect octave before he even left, so he was set for conversation.

Slash maneuvered around the house, striking up conversation with people he recognized from school. He passed Steven, flirting with a chick from school he knew very well. She had been hanging around their group a lot recently, Slash could barely remember her name. He thought it was Ariana? Amelia? He couldn’t remember.

He stopped by to say hi, immediately recognizing how fucked up both of them were. “Hey Stevie, where’s the good shit?” He needed to get straight to the point, he needed to get as fucked up as quickly as possible. He gestured over to a few people passing around a bottle of vodka, and Slash thanked him before turning to the group. The chick, Adeline? Stopped him though. “Hey honey, what’s your name?”

Slash hesitated, he was still using his girl voice with Steven so maybe she was addressing him like a woman. “Shirley, what about you?” She glanced over at Steven before replying, “I’m Adriana, but everyone just calls me Adrie,” she dropped her voice to a whisper, looking in Axl’s direction over in the living room, “But Axl calls me rocket queen.” Slash looked over with her, and felt her tug on his arm. “Anyways, I gotta get back to my boyfriend, Stevie, but have fun, girlfriend!”

Slash said goodbye, wandering over to the group with the vodka. He made sure to alter his posture to better display his ass and tits, before tapping on a girl’s shoulder. “Hey, where’d you get the vodka?” She glanced over at the guy currently holding the half finished bottle before jerking her thumb over to a door by the fridge. “Top shelf, pantry. There’s like a bottle left so you might wanna hurry.” Slash needed no hesitation before rushing to the pantry and flinging open the door. There were already three people in there, all trying to reach the vodka. It was really wedged up there, and Slash had an amazing idea.

“Move it, losers!” He shoved his way through the people, reaching the shelves. They were built into the wall, he knew they wouldn’t fall on him if he scaled them. Which he was planning to do.

He peeled off his heels, setting them on a shelf closer to the floor and planted one foot on a shelf. He ignored the people behind him complaining, and reached up to grab a higher shelf. He pulled himself up, keeping his body close to the shelves as he steadied his feet. He carefully stepped up another shelf, gripping on with his hands for dear life.

The bottle was at eye level now, and he slowly released one of his hands to set the vodka on a shelf slightly lower. He kicked a guy trying to take it now that it was within reach, and carefully climbed back down, vodka proudly in hand. He slid on his heels, and sauntered out of the pantry with the three guys following him closely from behind.

“Come on, we had dibs on it first!”

“Don’t be a bitch, just share it with us!”

Slash rolled his eyes, finding a spot slightly hidden from everyone else, and chugged nearly a third of the bottle, grinning madly as he felt his throat burn. He took light sips, observing the party around him. Still no sign of Duff. He saw Axl trying to get Izzy to join spin-the-bottle-seven-minutes-in-heaven, but Izzy declined.

After the bottle was about half finished, Slash tried to find the dudes who he stole from, and came across them sitting on the stairs taking turns passing a beer around. He overheard their conversation before approaching them, hesitating slightly.

“Dude, all the fuckin’ beer is gone, there’s nothing left! And after that bitch stole the vodka, we legit have nothin’. If I see her, I’m gonna beat her ass!” Slash wandered over to them, holding out the vodka. “Hey, here you go. I’m done with it.”

The guy with a lameass excuse for a beard snagged it from him immediately, his jaw dropping as he felt the weight. “You… you drank all of this?” Slash nodded proudly, and the dudes just looked away and passed it between themselves. Slash walked away, being free from extra weight to carry around.

He wandered around for a little while longer, a few guys grabbing his ass before he turned around and gave em’ a good ol’ man voice that scared them off. Sure, his voice was already feminine, but his normal voice combined with lookin’ like a chick? Instant fear.

He moved from the kitchen to the living room, and took an empty seat on a loveseat by the spin the bottle people. He spent a while observing, picking at his red painted nails and adjusting his dress boredly. Axl turned to Slash after about three rounds and beckoned him to join. Slash jumped up, taking a seat next to a chick with huge tits.

“Alrighty, this is my friend, Shirley. She doesn’t go to our school, she’s homeschooled and she just moved here,” Axl introduced Slash, a huge grin stretched across his face, Slash being thankful that Axl was playing along. This was going to be a lot more fun if the people that knew about his costume were acting like he was a chick. Slash waved to everyone, giving a short introduction himself before Axl began the game. They played two rounds, Slash being up next when he heard the front door open for what seemed like the hundredth time that night. He didn’t even bother to look up, but out of the corner of his eye he saw a sparkly pink tutu and fishnets. He immediately knew it was, based on the beads on the converse.