#redeity

Pointing at the sun: Listen here you glowing hate orb motherfucker

❝   i think i've seen this film before, and i didn't like the ending.   ❞

██  𝗦𝗔𝗠𝑤𝑖𝑛𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟  ,  STARTER  CALL.  malcolm  merlyn  was  the  taunting  voice  inside  her  head  ──  the  phantom  that  haunted  her  dreams   ──   the  reason  she  couldn't   trust  herself  anymore.  he'd  single-handedly  taken  nearly  everything  from  her  as  if  it  was  his  right   to  +  he  was  still  out  there.  breathing  air  when  his  son,  her  sister,  were  cold  +  buried  long  before   she  could  do  anything  to  stop  it.  +  by  the  time  she  did   he  was  long  gone.  that  was  the  problem.  he  was  trained  to  be  a  ghost,  a  man  that  took  on  a  new  identity  everywhere  he  went.  normal  enough  to  blend  in  +  fly  under  the  radar.  she  had  eyes  everywhere  but  it'd  been  months  +  she'd  grown   impatient.  sick  of  treading  water  +  chasing  dead  end  leads  that  left  her  feeling  defeated,  she  reached  for  a   life boat.

she  wouldn't  normally  call  @redeity,  preferring  to  keep  her  business   in  house,  but  everyone  was  too  close.  emotional  investment  with  a  lack  of  objectivity  would  get  them   killed   +  she  couldn't  carry  the  weight  of  their  blood  on  her  hands.  she  knew  how  ironic  it  was  ──  calling  someone  to  help  her,  the  most  emotionally  invested  of  them  all,  to  help  her  track  him  down  but  ...  she  was  desperate.  +  when  he  agreed  to  meet  her  she  gained  a  little  hope.  ❛  you  look  like  crap.  ❜  sara  lance.  always  known  to  make  an  opening.  half  smile  swept  across  her  face,  toe  of  her  boot  kicking  loose  gravel  before  she  passed  the  second  coffee  filled  to-go  cup  to  him.   ❛  drive  all  night  ?  ❜

WE ARE THE FISHER BOYS , our mother's pride and joy and yet ? there was more of our father within the both of us. it's not something i LOVED to admit , but it was true. there is of course the understanding that i knew something JER would never know , and i HONESTLY found comfort in that. i had always wanted to protect him but we were only a year apart ... it had seemed so much of a difference back then , but now ? it's nothing.

' hey you'll get closer to dad ... - look i KNOW it's not ideal but , exams are drawing to an end and i really just feel like thanksgiving isn't where i want to be , plus i got asked to go to joshua tree ! ' i emphasize that phrase as if ' joshua tree ' was some sort of savior, and maybe it was. ANYTHING to avoid that house , anything to avoid the EAST coast.

i should stop thinking about it , it's too painful , like a scab that never ceases to heal because -i- end up picking it off , reliving the pain seemed the best way to get over it. i'm in therapy now but ? it's only been a few months , i am JUST getting over the shock of losing mom , the pain of hiding so much from those who i loved MOST.

yes , i love jer , i love jer more than words can say. it's why i've left him alone , i tell myself that he'll really grow into the heart of our family that i can step away. that i've given him what he's always wanted.

' look you should come up HERE and visit ! ' i smile into the phone as i shift it slightly , ' i'll pay for your ticket and we can really surf! ' is it believable ? will he take the bait ? (i'm such a bad fucking liar).

he doesn't , the words thrown my way is a reminder that i have so much work to be done. i roll my eyes before then inhaling (it's all so heavy). ' nah i don't want to be that ... sometimes i'd just like to ' i pause as i look down at a photograph of the last time we ALL LOOKED HAPPY AND MOM HEALTHY.

𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎 𝐀 𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐓𝐎𝐖𝐍, 𝐀 𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄, 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐘. 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐒𝐎 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐈𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐀𝐍 𝐎𝐂𝐄𝐀𝐍 away from most of the people you knew or wanted to be close to. but, alicent had no choice in the matter. she left england & had been forced into middle of no where, tight knit america. mystic falls ... sounded like it was out of a supernatural romance novel waiting to happen & looked like it as well with the dense forest surrounding the town, how it felt at times miles away from any big city. quiet homes were anyone would be happy to raise a family because what could possibly go wrong in a place like this ? eyes are trained down as alicent tries to orientate herself to were her next class was--if it wasn't bad enough she knew no one here, imagine how she felt walking around looking confused. eyebrows furrow, lips downturned as some faint word is muttered under her breath at the moment of impact. her shoulder bumps into someone else, knocking the paper out of her hand along with the other persons notebook. ❛ oh ! ❜ head lifts then, brown eyes blown wide. ❛ forgive me, i- ... i'm so lost. & late. ❜ her accent would stick out like a sore thumb. ❛ i didn't hurt you too bad, did i ? ❜