Bdubs (he's got a really nice pair of Birkenstock)
Scar
Zed
Keralis
Wears socks and sandals occasionally when they need to step outside for a second and are too lazy to put on real shoes:
Impulse
Cub
False
Jevin
Wels
Mumbo (he's embarrassed about it but keeps doing it)
Wants to wear socks with sandals for the convenience but their pride prohibits them from doing so:
Joel
No oh my god why would you do that:
Gem
Cleo
Grian
Never occurred to them to wear socks with sandals:
Xisuma
Pearl
Beef (totally would but it’s too cold up in Canada)
Xb
Hypno
Wears socks and flip flops and jams the thong of the flip flops between their toes and forms a dent in the sock specifically to inflict psychic damage on everyone else:
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Today on important and pertinent questions that everyone is wondering:
Which Hermits do I think would wear fanny packs?
Impulse: No. I actually asked him this on stream, and he confirmed that he does not own a single fanny pack. Which is a shame, because he is a dad, and I think he'd enjoy the convenience and organization of a belt bag, but he just cares way too much about avoiding being uncool to commit such a heinous fashion faux pas. I think he wears cargo shorts with deep pockets to hold his wallet and keys instead.
Skizz: Yes. Oh you know he does. I'm 85% certain he owns more than one fanny pack in real life. Fashion crimes?? Never heard of her. The fact that it's a storage unit that sits directly over your crotch is a feature to him, not a bug. That level of obnoxious dork-induced psychic damage is his bread and butter and he REVELS in it. And you know every single fanny pack in his possession is busted and falling apart and full of junk that he's never gonna need in his life. Used tissues. A paper clip. A single cough drop that expired twelve years ago. Pocket lint. It's like a Mary Poppins bag but exclusively for garbage and useless thingamabobs.
Gem: No. Absolutely not. Gem is the #1 fanny pack hater. 95% of groans caused by Skizz's fanny pack antics originate from Gem. She will complain about the fanny packs. Loudly. This only makes Skizz want to wear them more. He will purchase a hot pink one just for her, embroidered with her name, and when she refuses to wear it he will instead wear it himself, stacked directly over his own fanny pack in order to inflict maximum embarrassment. Gem is suffering and there is no escape from this hell.
Grian: No. Despite being a chaos gremlin, Grian is actually a wee bit more dignified and sophisticated than he lets on. He's not a fanny pack hater, but they're not exactly his style. I can see him making use of a drawstring bag instead.
Scar: Maybe. I'm conflicted about this one. On one hand, he's definitely enough of a confident dork to unashamedly wear a fanny pack in bright neon colors with cartoon characters vinyl printed on the sides. On the other hand, he never seems to be carrying the right amount of things for such a small storage space. Scar needs a backpack at minimum, and a tiny little belt bag just isn't gonna cut it. He almost certainly owns at least one and uses it while visiting the Disney parks though.
Doc: Yes. This isn't even a question. This is the man who wore an Elsa costume and bright orange crocs to the meet-and-greet in Rotterdam. Who's gonna stop him? You?? And incur the wrath of the Goat?? He's got the confidence and the death glare and the strut to make anything look good. He only has one fanny pack, and it's in pristine condition: Tasteful dark leather, gently aged, immaculately organized. Phone. Wallet. Keys. A few small Swiss Army knife-type multitools. And a lollipop for Doccy.
Joe Hills: Yes. Indubitably. And you already know it's bright neon green and full of stuff that you wouldn't expect to be useful but somehow manages to solve niche edge case dilemmas every time. Joe Hills' fanny pack is like a Mary Poppins bag but for surprisingly useful doohickeys. He can't fit his wallet into it though.
Bdubs: Yes. Bdubs has exactly the kind of slightly panicked dad energy that makes me think of socks with sandals and Hawaiian floral shirts and fanny packs on cargo shorts. His is also leather, but it's kinda old and falling apart. He tries to keep it organized. He ends up with the occasional candy wrapper and used tissue in there anyway. He put his wallet in upside down once and spilled all the change inside and he's still finding loose nickels. It's fine though. It's fine. Don't worry about it.
Beef and Keralis: Yes. Haven't seen a lot of their stuff, but until proven otherwise, I am going to assume that the Dad Hivemind holds true and these two have indeed fallen prey to the unfashionable allure of the fanny pack. They certainly don't seem like the kind of crotchety killjoy who wouldn't wear one.
Tango: No. Fanny packs are dumb. They look dumb and feel dumb and have too many dumb zippers. Small items go in pockets. That's what cargo shorts are for.
Joel: No. Joel is a little bit too young of a dad to have reached the point of desperation when he'll sacrifice his dignity for the convenience of a mid-hip man-purse. I believe in him though. Give it a few more years and a few lost pacifiers on long road trips and I think he'll get there eventually.
Ren: Yes. Despite not having any children of his own to necessarily justify such a dadly fashion fail, Ren nonetheless has enough flamboyant theater kid energy (and enough of a distractingly handsome face) to wear a fanny pack in public and get away with it. I think it's only a matter of time before he also starts wearing the socks with sandals.
Zed: Yes. Oh yes. And it's pastel pink and contains absolutely nothing useful. There's no room for his phone when the fanny pack is stacked full of tictacs and travel packets of peanut M&M's. He's exactly the guy you wanna have on a long road trip. He always brings the snacks.
Mumbo: Yes. Specifically, I think he'd make good use of fanny packs while mountain climbing. Fashion isn't exactly a priority when you're hanging off the edge of a sheer cliff face in brightly colored safety gear so that the rescuers can find you easily if you plummet to your death. And fanny packs are useful! It's readily available at the front of your body, in a relatively unobtrusive spot for climbing, and you can fit so many carabiners and trail mix bags in those suckers. And also a GoPro. Y'know. Just in case he wants to get that sweet mountaintop footage.
Jevin: Yes. Just a vibe, but he strikes me as the kind of fun uncle who always has fidget toys and/or fruit snacks on his person at all times. The kind of stuff that might pinch or get squished if you put them in your pockets, but a small bag on your hips? Perfect!
Xb: Yes. Also just a vibe, but something tells me FedXb would appreciate convenient portable storage while making his deliveries.
Pearl: Yes. Not a large one, but something streamlined and close to the body, maybe off on one hip, and somehow, I think she actually makes it look good. It's probably got all the necessities and a few extra things in there, like chapstick and hand cream.
Cub: Nah. Nothing against it, it's just not his style. Cub strikes me as the kind of quietly sophisticated savant who'd carry a briefcase if they hadn't gone out of style half a century ago. He'll go for some kind of snazzy structured cross-body bag, like a leather satchel or a navy blue letterman. (Thanks to @randomtotallyrealgirl for reminding me that satchels exist lol)
Xisuma: No. Neither the gentle, slightly sqeamish British computer nerd nor the extremely muscled Scream mask wearing heavy metal guitarist is exactly giving "fanny pack enjoyer" to me. He could probably make a crossbody bag look good though.
False: No. Probably not. Character!False would wear a tool belt with hidden weapons in it, absolutely; but a fanny pack, nah. Not her style.
Cleo: Sometimes. The character ZombieCleo? Yes, absolutely, and it's bright neon pink to match their psychedelic 80's workout gear. Real life Cleo? Not all the time—they're a bit too dignified and sophisticated for that—but they also have enough practical teacher energy that I think if it was a field trip to the zoo or something when they had a schedule to keep and heads to count and way more things to worry about than how they look, I think Cleo would use a fanny pack. Convenience is less headaches and less headaches makes a happy Cleo.
Etho: Unclear. He seems more like a wilderness backpack kind of guy. But if he does wear a fanny pack, it’s because it’s convenient, and he’s almost certainly unaware of how much they’ve been memed into oblivion. It’s over two decades old and falling apart at the seams but he refuses to let it go because it’s comfortable and he’s way too attached to his organizational system. He’s got all kinds of useful stuff in there. Like a pocket knife. And bear spray. And the ingredients for homemade fireworks.
