#redbamfs

The fearsome Wendigo has struck again, this time at the docks near Brooklyn. It has come to light that the shipment being attacked was a travelling museum exhibit, touring the world on loan from the Israeli Museum of Antiquities.

Very few crew members survived, but the fact that any did make it out alive is thanks to the intervention of heroes Nightcrawler, Optic, and a new armoured vigilante. When X-man Kurt Wagner arrived, it wasn't long before Wendigo's accomplices made themselves known, by teleporting a speeding cop-car right at him! Kurt then engaged the swarm of Red Bamfs in battle, distracting them from their cargo plundering mission.

Kurt saved the cops from a fiery death by teleporting them out of the flying car, moments before it exploded into a freight truck with a bright mushroom cloud of flames. Next, our new bright young star in armour began firing lasers at the Wendigo while flying around the docks, slowing the monster's progress. Meanwhile, the Bamfs leader charged at Kurt riding a hellish goat, only to have a metal ship door flung open into his wicked little face at the last moment!

During the battle Kurt was crushed against the ship by Wendigo wielding a heavy anchor, and was flung into the ship's hold. Azazel, master of the Bamfs, appeared atop the ship holding an explosive device on a short fuse! He flung it into the hold with the intention of destroying the vessel and its contents. The new armoured hero leapt inside, and somehow carried the bomb through the ship's hull and into the water, where it detonated like a depth charge which unsettled the river and ruptured the hull, flooding the ship.

The heroine Optic arrived and made sure Kurt was safely removed before he drowned, but the priceless artefacts from the Exodus Exhibit had become mere flotsam on the filthy water. Police and medical crews took care of survivors and thanked our heroes.

"This was a heinous assault on an irreplaceable cultural cache. Several items are missing, flood-damaged, and in one case wilfully vandalised. The sealed sarcophagus of the fabled Pharaoh's Sorcerer was broken into, and its hand deliberately torn off!" ~Curator of the NYC Museum.

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In other news, one of the survivors was spotted wearing the notorious anti-mutant slogans, FOH, on a t-shirt. The man, whose life was saved by the mutant Nightcrawler's actions, adamantly refused to comment, but was later seen leaving the scene tearing off his shirt and throwing it into the gutter.

~Reported by Bill O' Rytes

What began as an evening of fine dining at The Metropolitan restaurant soon descended into a hellish heist, targeting mutants, Inhumans, and other gifted members of the public.

Above: The reserved table for Jean Grey Students, surrounded!

A progressive evening of tolerance and respect at a Michelin Star restaurant was on the bill. Even the Maitre d' was mutant. And celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay was in the kitchen, cooking up a storm of peerless platters. And while the meal had its ups and downs, questionable table manners was to be the least of their concerns. A horde of red Bamfs burst onto the scene at every table, kidnapping countless gifted civilians!

Above: Explosions of hellish brimstone, a smoke-screen of sorts.

Miss Rachel Summers was quick to act, putting up a barrier around the table to protect her students from most of the harm. Unfortunately the waiters who surrounded the table were acting with one will - Azazel's will - and three of them managed to trap themselves inside the psi-bubble. Strangely, they merely attempted the softest restraint on the students.

Above: Ms Summers, surrounded by diabolically driven waiters.

Kidnappings continued around the restaurant. Students and graduates alike flung their powers at these diabolical waiters, dispatching several of them with ease. Two were flung through the high-rise windows, and were later discovered deceased on the building's front steps. Autopsies have revealed they had an incredibly high level of a compliance-inducing toxin in their systems, resembling mutated blood.

Above: Student Seraph brings foe to his knees, damning Azazel.

Interestingly, the angelic student Seraph seemed exempt from whatever pact of pacifism these unwitting villains had with the JGS. They openly declared that as 'Angel scum' she came under different 'rules of engagement'. One waiter tried to cut her throat, but she spun away and cut his Achilles tendons and brought him to his knees. She then showed mercy, and the defeated foe was teleported away by a red Bamf.

Above: Maitre d' beheaded by Bamf leaves students horrified.

Perhaps the most shocking moment of the night was when the triple-sword-wielding Maitre d' was defeated by JGS graduate Geoffry, whose violent interrogation bought some bitter answers, and was subsequently beheaded by another Bamf, shortly after Azazel's voice came from the blue man's mouth. "This one's in over his head..." the devil said. Students Luke, Stephan and Johnny were visibly upset by the butchery.

When the little red menaces fled, taking the waiters with them, citizens began emerging from under tables to thank their saviours. Chef Gordon Ramsay, initially upset by a certain mutant squirrel-boy's speed-eating disrespect, had nothing but praise for the actions of the JGS staff and students. In fact, he promised to create a whole menu of bespoke meals for the school's upcoming semester!

~Reported by Dee Monique Flyte

It seems the Hellfire Club has attracted unwanted attention of a far less subtle kind recently, as Bloodtide - the ex-patriot of Atlantis, Eco-terrorist and rumoured SHIELD consultant - rained on their parade in broad daylight!

Above: Bloodtide floods road, then dives for catch of the day!

As the fire hydrants exploded under Bloodtide's command, the road became hazardous and the limo aqua-planed dangerously until she landed powerfully upon its hood! The result was nothing short of spectacular, as the stretch limo up-ended, high into the air in an arc that saw it come crashing down on its back, like a stuck bug!

Above: Hellfire limo gets flipped over by angry water witch!

One on-looker Tweeted at the moment this amazing scene occurred, saying "Lmaosine! Check this out. That was epic!" ~Anonymous Twit.

Above: Silver Samurai, evil Hydra goon, arrives to aid Azazel!?

There was an explosive ~Bamf~ of Brimstone smoke and the demonic Azazel appeared on a nearby Shwarma joint's awning, casually flicking away a soaked cigarette and sighing at Bloodtide's tempestuous temper. It seems she had a bone to pick with the red-skinned snake of a man. Within minutes, he was joined by a powerful bodyguard, the Silver Samurai!

Above: Judas heals driver! Wlf lifts a limo! Tantrum takes a fall!

The badly injured driver was dragged to safety for healing by Judas, the Toymaster of JGS. After which the young android boy Wlfric, now known as Synergy of the Future Foundation, lifted the huge vehicle aloft like it was made of cardboard. He brought it crashing down on Samurai, but the goon's blade cleft through it like a hot knife through butter!

Above: Sneaky satan bamfs behind Bloodtide, to hamstring her!

What followed was essentially two separate fights. Samurai kept the young heroes busy while Azazel concluded some very aggressive negotiations, to come to an understanding of Bloodtide's beef with him and Hellfire, all the while appealing to reason and seducing her with offers of rank and privilege. She was having none of it!

Above: The battle rages on, more heroes join the melee...

A green-skinned SHIELD Cadet and a blue-skinned JGS student showed up to give Silver Samurai more of a headache, though the superior combatant had experience equal to his young enemies combined, it seemed. They finally managed to put a massive dent in the armour and bring the villain down to earth, but it later turned out it was in fact an empty suit, piloted remotely, just like Tony Stark is rumoured to do more often than not! Just how many does he have!? Do they all have power-swords? Who's funding this extravagant villainy!? Hellfire? Hydra? Kilgore Arms!?

Above: An exchange of hostages? Red 'Bamfs' join Bloodtide...

After some time, it appeared Azazel and Bloodtide had come to an agreement, a shaky ceasefire and an exchange of hostages like the Vikings of old. Azazel handed her his precious set of ancient swords and three of his red Bamf creatures, insisting that they will talk soon now that she has his trust, and prized collateral keepsakes.

Above: Samurai Suicide! The suit self-destructs! Tantrum shields!

When all was said and done, it seems the villains have built bridges, and we're going to be seeing more co-operative carnage in the weeks to come. The blog-o-sphere is rife with gossip about the 'Red King' of Hellfire, claiming that he's getting too big for his boots, that Hellfire won't stand for this untoward attention to its public image, and even that his recent rampages are nothing but blowing a smoke-screen to cover other, unseen sinister dealings of an infernal nature.

~Reported by D. Monique Flyte.

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