#recusanse

there weren’t many things that annoyed harlowe (not severely, anyway), but dieting was on the top of that short list. from a logical standpoint she was opposed to it, and even more so once it was in action and she was denied her usual habits in exchange for the bare minimum and barely enjoyable at that. despite her strong opposition, she wasn’t nearly as vocal about it as some of her group mates were. one, she was never one to cause a fuss, often being too lazy or uninterested in the fallout that would follow, and two, it was pretty damn easy to cheat on her diet when she spent several hours of her day on campus and in class, without a manager over her shoulder at any given moment. her school career was coming to a close though, and busy schedules outside of that made it hard for her to continue to do whatever she wanted, sending her straight back to step one that she despised.

the only thing keeping her distracted was her surroundings, the numerous performances on screen and idols waiting for their turn on stage taking up the majority of her attention. idle talk could only keep harlowe occupied for so long, though, especially when it came to people she wasn’t particularly close with and topics she wasn’t particularly interested in. her search for a certain someone proved successful as she sat herself next to the fellow rapper, eyes widened and lower lip poked in an obnoxiously cute manner that probably ranked second on her list of annoying things.

                                   【 D E D I C A T E D     T O    @recusanse​】

dear inspiration, this letter is not addressed to sid vicious, the one who introduced me to the relevance and the significance of bass and the rhythm to a song, nor is it directed to james dean, whose iconic image was transcending and reached me with encouraging words to pursue a dream i did not know i had until the first time the roughness of my fingertips meet the sharpened ivoried edges of my first script. this letter is not about david bowie, jimi hendrix, kurt cobain, john lennon or any other rockstar who has admittedly influenced myself and my band, in a personal or musical level, because although their geniuses is regarded in the highest level by my person and much admired, i feel like this is the right moment to address my very own musical hero, who was able to encourage me to write my first song even many years after his passing. 

it was in the every depth of a japanese record store that i’ve first became part of the web he sewed, unfortunately, years too late to be able to experience the adrenaline flowing through my bloodstream, the excitement it would generate with every loud jump of my then hopeful and lost heart in the midst of a live concert, like the one presented to my ears through the heavy headphones around my ear as i listened to the first song of an album entitled “psyence”. 

the song was called ‘erase’ and the lyrics were aggressively relatable, and perhaps, a bit too emotionally draining and empowering for a thirteen-year-old to fully understand, but it was enough to cause me comfort. it was then that i first experience the joys of a kind of sympathy and empathy that can only be found in the harmony of a voice and a melody – the one wherein your oxygen leaves the entirety of your lungs in the heaviest of the sighs, first because of surprise and then, astonishment of finally being understood, and your ribs become cages because your heart is encouraged to make itself present; wild and free, widely recognizing the comfort in the warmth of a stranger’s voice. 

                              【 i’m neither happy nor sad, there is just not a story to tell.                        who are you? where am i? tomorrow was yesterday, then who am i?                                  aren’t the sights pretty in the rush of vibrant memories?                         “you reap what you sow, but what a shame! you’re still so young.”】 

by the time the album reached its eight song, i proudly admit that i’ve felt salty drops grace the warmth of my skin for the first time in years, that moment would be always imprinted into both my heart and my memories, for it was solely the first time i’ve allowed myself to express much more than just raw and untamed rage. it’s ironically how it was in the corner of an unfamiliar place with the comfort provided by a stranger’s voice that i’ve felt like i finally belonged to a place. it was through his words; the bittersweet melancholy and the unwinding need of freedom that i felt more comforted, more in touch with my own self. i refer to that period as the first soul searching moment i have ever had and the enlightenment that led me to who i am today, it is with conviction that i asseverate today that i would have never been myself if i had not come in contact with his music then. because it was this very one bridge that encouraged me to pursue music as a goal and it still reminds me to this day of the reasons behind my choice of the path i follow: 

                                              【 please, songs, tell them my truth.                                                       and i will keep playing you.            wherever i goand even if i find myself somewhere lost and aloneif i sing you,                                        i will be able to walk on with ginger steps.                                                                                                              goodbye 】 

recipient: @recusansesubject: mun vs musestatus: accepting!!

🐯 = What animals would best be associated with the mun and muse?

Harlowe would compare herself to a cat or perhaps a wolf. Cats for no reason other than the fact that she loves them and thinks that they’re absolutely adorable and terrifying at the same time and she’d like to think the same of herself. A wolf because they’re intimidating yet not overbearing about it– and she considers herself to be a lone wolf in a sense because she’s corny and just doesn’t like interacting with people.

As for myself, I’m honestly not sure aha. Whatever animal could easily be described as a grumpy little asshole that just wants to sleep all day. Let’s go with a sloth, since that’s the first one that seems fitting. 

🌙 = Are the mun and muse more morning, day, or night people? When are they the most relaxed? When do they get the most work done?

I would say that Harlowe’s a morning person out of habit, though she does enjoy the serenity that night time brings? And being able to stargaze and such. So she’s typically more relaxed at night time before bed. She gets most of her work done during the day time, again out of habit from being in school. She doesn’t like to deviate from that since it’s worked so well for her.

I’m more of a night person. If I didn’t work such odd hours I’d pull all nighters all the time, probably.  As for when I’m relaxed… probably never lmao???? And I get most of my work done at this odd 3/4am hour on my days off– like today, as I’m baking a cake. I usually go to work at that hour so it’s pretty much programmed into me that this is the time that I should be getting shit done.

🎨 = Do either the mun or muse have artistic talents? What are they?

Harlowe plays a few instruments and does some writing (lmao envision preteen emo poems that she burns and suppresses the memory of) and that’s about it. She thinks that she’s too stiff of a person to take up any sort of creative visual arts, so she’s never really tried.

filed under: 쇄빙선_cute confessions. in response to: @recusanse​.

recipient: @recusansesubject: ask me my top 5 anythingstatus: accepting!!

ASK ME MY “TOP 5” ANYTHING ; status: accepting

Chanmi & Jimin (@recusanse)

The sky is already purple; the first few stars have appeared, suddenly, as if someone had thrown a handful of silver across the edge of the world.

[ i’m taking @recusanse to the galaxy – ]