#recovary

Had a major panic attack had to have my boyfriend and his grandma drive me home. Sobbing uncontrollably , still shaking , just got my breathing down . I've never cried so hard for my mom before , all I wanted was my mom. I told her how depressed I've become , how angry and lost and alone I feel . And she just held me like a mom should do and told me how we are going to make everything better and that everything will be okay . I won't be going to school anymore not untill everything is figured out and I'm healthy again both physically and mentally and probably emotionally too. I've cried for 4 hours first at my boyfriends completly uncontrollably and then to his grandma once she came in to see me ( which made me very embarrassed ) but she calmed me down So that I could get up and get to the car. I'm also thoroughly embarrassed that now everyone is extremely worried about me now , nd that now everyone will be watching me but it's kinda okay. I have come to terms that I honestly can't do this that I absolutely can not do this by my self. I just want to feel like myself again .

But I can honestly say the storm clouds of that part of my life are finally almost gone . It had been raining and windy , and the thunder and lightning had me hiding and shut out . I feel contend most days , happy is a emotion with some get used to that's for sure but most days are gray but blue sky's shine through and the sun burns the gray away. But sometimes the storms come back or some days it's just light sprinkles . Right now I'm learning to get used to the sun

Its just us three. No one cares about supporting us as a new family. Not even our families.

Dr.Seuss