#reconnectedvoice

🌬 THE BREATH & THE SINGING VOICE ARE INTERTWINED.🌬

In order to deepen your relationship with your singing voice, first you need to deepen your relationship with your breath.

💓 I'm always in awe each time working with a client at just how much comes to the surface for her through working with her breath.❤️

💫 Working with the breath in this capacity serves 2 benefits: 💫

🌪 1) Things that are hidden deep within, for example causing blocks in your natural energy flow, arise to the surface, deepening the connection with your body, providing insights and enabling healing as you continue to work at releasing through the breath. 🌪

✨ 2) When you learn how maximise the power of deep inhalation and then control and extend your exhalation, you are able to apply this to singing. The longer you can hold a single, steady note, the more deeply you can connect with everything that's working through that note, not only in your physical body, but also in your thoughts and emotions. ✨

You might experience this shift for example in the following way:

🌟You've experienced your voice as feeling blocked when you try to sing a note, the sound either not coming out or stopping part way through. Now by having developed this strong connection with your breath and knowing how to use it to shift through what arises for you, you are able to apply this same principle to your singing voice. Your voice receives more physical support from your breath-body connection and because you can make your breath last longer you can work through the flow of breath, giving more space for the energy/note - and everything which arises with it, such as buried memories of being silenced - to be moved through, until the obstacles are released and you experience an easy flow of sound and the euphoria of being immersed in its healing vibrations.💫

 If you’d like to learn more about how I may be able to support you in deepening the connection between your breath and voice, visit my website https://www.francescajlittmann.com/

Some years ago I found myself being called to find a way to support people in clearing the wounds around their singing voices. This came because ever since waaaay back when I began my first career as a singing teacher, regularly when I mention that I work with voice, I hear a story about how the person I'm talking with has been cut off from their singing voice.

The story often starts with:

"I can't sing"

or

"I'm a terrible singer"

Then the person opens up and shares with me their story. Most of the time it involves someone telling them when they were young that they couldn't sing, or that they sounded awful, or that they should be quiet. And since that time, the person has lost their original loving connection with their singing voice.

I hear this story over…

and over…

and over again.

And the thing is, although we may not realize it at the time (or even see it later on), when we are cut off from expressing ourselves through our singing voice, we also often cut ourselves off from other ways of freely expressing ourselves…

The words wanting to be expressed through us…

The art wanting to be created through us…

The stories wanting to be told through us…

… and so much more.

What you need to realise is this:

When someone, anyone, in your past (or even currently in your life) has made a judgemental comment about your voice, IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU OR YOUR VOICE.

It has everything to do with THEM and their perception of the world.

I can more or less guarantee you that at some point in their past, however "good" a voice that person had/has, they have also had someone else make a judgement about their voice. Whether it was positive or negative it doesn't matter. The moment a judgement was made it created a perception of what a voice "should" or "should not" sound like/do. When one sound is "good" then automatically, because we live in a world of duality, another sound becomes "bad".

If you take nothing else from this post, please take this one thing and hold it somewhere safe deep inside of you:

YOUR SINGING VOICE is intended for YOUR expression, YOUR pleasure, YOUR well-being.

Your voice is not for anyone else. What others think of it is immaterial.

If you want to share your singing voice then by all means please do. But do so because it is a pleasure for you to sing. Give NO power to other people's judgements, positive or negative. They don’t belong to you, and they certainly don’t belong to your voice.

Singing is about YOUR relationship with your voice and YOUR expression in the world.

The most valuable piece of advice I can give you today is to allow yourself to be like a child with your voice. Play, make silly sounds, imitate things you hear in your environment.

Let go of all judgement about what your voice sounds like and instead focus your attention on what it feels like. If something feels uncomfortable see if you can find a different way of using your voice. If something feels good, do it some more.

When you stop casting judgements on the sounds you create with your voice and instead focus on the experience of feeling with your whole body what your voice can do, you will find yourself little piece by little piece reclaiming your voice in alignment with your voice’s original intent:

As a BRIDGE for expression in the physical here-and-now of something of your formless, timeless inner being, which is 100% yours.

A few days ago I received a truly beautiful testimonial from a client I worked with last week. I invited her to write in Dutch (her native tongue) rather than English, so she could write directly from her heart without the filters that occur when the mind has to process a different language.

The wording she used deeply touched me because it truly sums up both the essence of how I experienced the session with her, and also the essence of the space I endeavor to create for each and every person who works with me.

My intention for the testimonial was that I would translate it into English, as I have done in the past for other testimonials Dutch clients have written for me. But I’m taking a moment to pause before I do, because with these specific words written for me I am profoundly aware - more so than ever - of the energy they carry, and how each word of each language has its own unique vibration. Although some words are relatively simple to translate, others are much harder because even when there is a correlating word in the English (or other) language, the energetic essence of each of these words is not quite the same, and thus the meaning falls short. And as in all aspects of life, there is a great difference in energy of words translated through only the head, and those which are translated through the heart.

Words can be just words, but it is the energetic experience behind each word that truly brings its meaning to life. Just as another person can describe the physical features, the texture, scent and flavour of a strawberry, until we have the full experience of seeing, feeling, smelling and tasting for ourselves, the true experience remains just outside of our reach.

And this is why I’m taking my time before I write this translation. Because first I want to let these words sink in, to feel and honour them in their fullness, before I do my very best to seek English words and phrases that can somehow come even close to doing justice to the meaning and experience which lies at their essence.

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One evening a few weeks ago I was standing by the door to the garden when I heard a sound on the gravel outside. I thought it was the cat, so I opened the door and waited expectantly for her to shoot out of the dark past my leg. I heard the noise again but no sign of the cat. Curious, I turned on the porch light and there on my path was a toad, leisurely making his or her way across to the grass. I felt extremely blessed to have this unexpected night time encounter. Since then I’ve been spending some beautiful moments sat next to the pond in the garden watching for movement in the still waters. At first it seems as though there’s nothing there. But when I wait patiently and allow my eyes to adjust, I quickly see that this small underwater world is filled with toads and so much more life. ***I find this deeply inspiring - not only for the experience itself, but also because I see it as a reminder of all the incredible potential and beauty each and every one of us has hidden beneath the surface.*** We each know this as young children, yet somewhere along the journey we forget as we get bogged down with the routine of everyday life and the continuous stimuli and stresses that fill our awareness. ***Yet when we take a moment to slow down, to make space and find that surface stillness, we open up the gateway to see the infinite potential and possibility lurking in our depths.***

One of my night time rituals just before I get ready to sleep - which I do when I’m at home come rain or shine - is to go outside into the dark, bare-footed, to take a moment of connection, placing my hands upon the earth as I give thanks for the day. Some evenings this ritual may last just a minute; other evenings I really take my time, looking at the stars, dancing a little in the moonlight, softly speaking out my worries and my joys. Over the past weeks I’d been noticing a new sound that hadn’t been there before - or at least not that I recalled - and suddenly it dawned on me that this sound is the toads. I’ve found that during the day they seem to croak only occasionally (perhaps a survival technique so as not to attract birds), but at night it’s party time! A couple of evenings ago the night was very mild, and after having spent some special moments at the end of the afternoon creating a nature altar, I found myself being called outside again. The pond was alive with song and I felt my heart expanding with gratitude for the beauty of this experience. I find the toads and their sounds so sweet, and I’ll admit I was so moved by the connection I felt with them that I even cried a little. Deeply touched by this experience, I felt a longing to share the magic of this gift and thus found myself called to make a sound recording of their song. I've created a short video for you to listen to on YouTube. You can find the link below or click here. I hope you enjoy it! I had a lot of fun with the toads yesterday trying to get a picture to share with you. I’m sure they knew what I was up to! They kept teasing me, giving me just enough time to get a quick shot before they disappeared back beneath the surface, then just as I was getting ready to go a whole bunch of them came to the surface at the same time, which totally confused me as to where to direct my camera aim! I love this interaction with the natural world and hope you remember to make time in your life to play too. Blessings, Francesca xx

I first wrote the essence of the following in 2014, a time when over the space of a couple of years I went through an accelerated awakening of self-awareness and understanding. Given the circumstances we have globally been living under for the past almost year now, I thought it would be valuable to share this as a reminder - both to myself and also for others.

With so many of us living in intensive living situations and spending far more time with our loved ones than would be the norm, we may feel at times like we’re living in a pressure cooker - and the pain response may be getting triggered overtime. So it’s valuable to take a step back every so often, come back to ourselves and look at what’s really going on.

When someone says or does something (or equally, does not) and it triggers pain within us, when we’re acting from a place of programming rather than self-awareness, it is all too easy to lash out at them or someone else in our environment, blaming the other person and look at them as the cause of our pain. Yet when we’re in pain, unless that person has physically lashed out at us (which is a different story altogether), the essence of the pain that we’re experiencing is rarely the result of what that person has said or done (or not), but rather the result of the triggering of something from much earlier on in our lives.

Back at the end of 2009 I was in the Holocaust museum in Tel Aviv when a plaque on the wall caught my attention:

“We see the world not as it is but as we are” - Talmud

I have always remembered this quote because for me it sums up the essence of our life experience.

One of the greatest causes of conflict in the world is that through conditioning we are taught to believe that certain perceptions are universally true, and then along comes someone with an entirely different set of perceptions of what is universally true, and as both parties insist adamantly that it is their perception which is correct, chaos ensues.

How we perceive the world around us is largely the result of everything we have ever been told, taught and experienced. For this reason no two people will ever see or experience life in quite the same way.

So how does this relate to the pain response?

When we respond to something someone else has said / done / not said / not done, our response is entirely down to what is already inside of us.

Have you ever noticed how on some days when you’re feeling really good (for example when you feel in love), you see all the wonderful things in the world around you and when something external happens, such as you get held up in traffic, or the person in front of you is taking ages to make their payment, you have ample patience and it does little to affect your mood? And have you ever noticed that on other days when you feel stressed or angry about something, those same hold-ups only add to your feelings of agitation?

The same goes for circumstances involving all our interactions with others.

Those we’re closest to may seem to be especially good at pushing our buttons. And there is good reason for this. Without knowing it, we often subconsciously choose partners and circumstances in life which in some way mirror that which we experienced in our early years. Whether or not these circumstances were healthy for us, they are familiar and just as all other creatures on this planet, we are hardwired to veer towards the familiar because it gives us a sense of certainty - even when that sense of certainty doesn’t necessarily fulfill our need for safety.

This is a big topic which I won’t go into too deeply right now, but the essence of this is that on soul-level, a reason we choose these circumstances is because there is still something for us to learn from them for our soul-growth.

And we will continue to be drawn towards circumstances and people which repeat these patterns until we recognise the pattern and break it once and for all.

Sometimes it’s pretty simple, sometimes it’s not. But that’s okay - we have a lifetime of learning ahead of us, and if we already had it all figured out, on soul-level there wouldn’t be much point in us being here in the first place, as the whole purpose of this journey is about expansion (growth).

So what can we do to break the pain-response cycle?

A powerful exercise to practice is trying to catch yourself in that split-second before you react.

Pause for a moment and take a deep breath.

Ask yourself what is really going on here. What is the pain that’s really being triggered? What is the underlying need which is not being met in your interaction?

Instead of projecting ideas about what the other person’s intent is, stop and ask yourself what it is they are really trying to communicate.

Did they not tidy up after themselves? Instead of assuming that it was something directly aimed at making your life more difficult, consider for a moment that maybe they just didn’t think about it. You may have a need for order, but they don’t see something as ‘mess’ in the same way you do.

Did you have a busy day at work and think how nice it would be to snuggle up for a cosy chat with your partner at the end of it, but instead they disappear after supper to do something by themselves? Instead of assuming they are rejecting you, consider that maybe they have a need for some quiet time to process their day.

Then ask yourself what it is that’s being triggered here, and what need it is that is not being met right now.

You may, for example, find yourself recalling a childhood experience when you felt upset and a parent or caregiver didn’t make time for you. Take some time - whenever you can, even if it’s later in the day or the next day - to sit with this experience and hold yourself in it.

Give space to the underlying feelings, give yourself the attention you sought from someone else, write in a journal, give yourself a big hug, run yourself a relaxing bath - in short, do anything that you can to nurture that part of you which is asking for loving attention.

Is your child / children making lots of noise or throwing a tantrum, when all you really want is a few minutes’ peace and quiet? Try to remind yourself that they are not doing this with the express purpose of causing you unhappiness; they are simply trying to cope with what they’re feeling in their environment and learning how to find a way to meet unmet needs.

Take some deep breaths, focus your attention on your feet, ask your internal guidance how to best handle this situation.

If it’s possible, take yourself to another room for a couple of minutes (lock yourself in the bathroom if necessary) and take those deep breaths. If you need to scream, scream into something such as a pillow or towel, or let out some big sighs.

Looking at things from this alternative perspective is not saying that your needs and feelings are unimportant, and neither that you should have ultimate patience and respect for others without asking the same from them.

It’s simply about taking a moment to pause and reflect before you react out of pain, and see if there is another way. Because as long as you continue to blame others for how you feel without reflecting on what’s inside of you, you give your power away.

Everything you have, experience, all of it is within you. And just as there may be pain, stress, frustration, anger and more, equally you are already equipped with the inner tools to help you release these feelings in a way that is nurturing to yourself and that doesn’t create more chaos by projecting onto others.

The more you are able to do this, the more aware you will become of where your boundaries lie. And when you are clearer in your boundaries, you will silently be teaching those around you how you want to be treated, and you will choose more consciously those situations and circumstances for yourself which best nourish you.

If you manage to stop yourself before the trigger reaction one time in twenty, or one time in fifty, or even one time in a hundred, you are already on the way to creating a more loving inner environment for yourself, which in turn will create beautiful shifts in your relationships and create a more peaceful environment around you, regardless of whatever else is happening in the world.

Blessings,

Francesca xx

Could you do with a reminder of the power the lies within you? Then check our my song “Within You”.

One of the tools I've found to be most powerful over the years for sifting through my 'internal clutter' is writing regularly in a journal. I find it especially beneficial when I use it as one of my evening rituals just before going to bed. It gives me an outlet for the things which have happened over the course of the day that I haven't had time to process yet, or which I simply want to give space to contemplate. Often some of my greatest insights and "a-ha" moments come through my journaling practice. And even on the days when nothing particularly profound comes out, I still go to bed feeling clearer and fall asleep quickly because I'm not carrying the impacting experiences of the day with me. When I journal regularly "emptying up" is a given rather than something I'm relying on other people's presence to fulfill. These are the times when I feel most connected with myself, because I'm giving myself the opportunity both to express and listen to what's really going on inside of me.

Following on from yesterday’s post about my own experiences of the power of decluttering, today I’d like to share a few tips for those who would like to clear up their physical space but aren’t quite sure where to start.

When there's a lot to sift through, getting started can seem overwhelming - especially when you find it hard to let go of things. The key is to start small and don't try to do too much in one go. Begin with one draw, or one box, or one small area of a desk or room. Decide how you want to categorize things and prepare yourself accordingly with containers or a 'zone' for each category.

For example, create separate spaces for:

What you definitely want to keep

The things you're not sure about yet

Anything you want to sell

Stuff you want to give away

A bag for stuff to be thrown out