Guard Rat
*** @mammonsturtle, you know this request was just weird enough for me to love it. It 100% reminds me of Turnip Head from Howl's Moving Castle and I will be running with that vibe. This will be chaotic (a little) and (hopefully) entertaining! Let's do this! -B***
Summary: After helping a rat on their way back to the Hall of Lamentation, MC finds themselves with a new pet. The rat follows MC where ever they go, and they are just enamoured with the little guy, much to the brother's dismay.
You had a very long day.
You couldn't seem to focus during any of your classes for some reason, Mammon was in a mood and was being a little meaner towards you than usual, and to top it all off, he apparently forgot that he was supposed to walk you home since you were know walking through the dark streets of the Devildom on your own.
You grumbled to yourself in annoyance as you kicked an empty can down the damp, city streets.
A frightened squeak caught your attention, causing you to pause.
You glanced down the dark, gloomy alleyway that the squeak came from. You took note of the lack of people around, debating if this was the safest course of action to take, before throwing caution to the wind and creeping towards the noise.
"Hello? Is someone there?"
You jumped as what looked like a ramen noodle cup came scuttling out from behind a dumpster and ran into a wall.
You tilted your head at the oddity and crouched down to get a closer look. The ramen cup had a long pink tail, two furry little legs that were kicking out from the back of it.
"Huh," you pondered out loud as you picked up the cup. "Are you stuck, little guy?"
You moved your uniform sleeve to cover your bare skin before gently grasping the back end of the small creature and carefully pulling.
Pop!
Two unnaturally green eyes blinked up at you from behind a dark, furred snout and twitching whiskers. The creature didn't snarl or snap at you, like most cornered animals would. Instead, he peered up at you with curious and grateful eyes that held such humanity it made your breath catch. You smiled at the rat and carefully set it back down. "There you go. All better now. Don't go getting stuck again."
The rat remained sitting where you set it down and nodded its head, as though it understood what you were saying.
You stared at it for a moment before shrugging. "Wouldn't be the strangest thing I've seen in the Devildom," you waved at the rat as you turned to exit the ally. "Have a nice day, Mr. Rat."
You left without another thought and continued your silent trudge back to your home, feeling slightly lighter than before. You were nearly there when you noticed the faint noise of tiny claws against stone behind you.
With a frown, you glanced back and spotted the same rat from earlier scurrying from a distance. He froze as you noticed him. The two of you stared at one another. You narrowed your eyes, looking around for anything else that could've possibly caught the rats attention, but found nothing.
"Are you following me, Mr. Rat?"
The rat nodded and moved closer to you.
You giggled and crouched down to get a good look at the animal. It didn't look dirty or disease-ridden like most wild rats did. Instead, it was strangely clean and calm, like a domestic pet.
Deciding to take a risk, you reached out and slowly stroked the top of its head with your finger. It leaned into the touch and let out a small, content squeak. You smiled gently scratched behind its ears. "Yeah, there's no way your just a wild rat. Did someone throw you out on the streets, little buddy?"
The rat made a series of distressed squeaks and scuttled closer to you.
You tsked disapprovingly and continued petting the animal. "Poor little guy."
As the rat melted under your touch, you felt your heartache at the thought of leaving him out here. If he really was a domesticated animal and not just a stray, he probably wouldn't last long out here. I mean, look at the state that you had originally found him in!
...
A rat was small enough that Lucifer shouldn't notice if you snuck him into the House of Lamentation, right?
Having made up your mind, you carefully laid out your hand in front of your new friend. "How would you like to come home with me, pal?"
The rat's eyes widened. He made an adorable squeaking noise as he nodded and climbed into your hands. You smiled softly at him and carefully scooped him up against your chest. "Alright, little guy. First things first," you began as you walked back towards the house. "We need to give you a name. I was thinking Ramen. You know, cause I found you in a ramen cup."
The rat snuggled its little head against your chest. You chuckled fondly. "Ramen, it is."
You carefully tucked Ramen into the front of your uniform as you approached the House of Lamentation. "Okay, here's your chance to prove yourself Ramen," you whispered. "You have to be quiet and still until we get to my room. I can't have anyone finding out about you just yet."
Ramen cheeped and burrowed obediently into your uniform. You gently patted him before entering the house.
You didn't immediately spot any of the brothers as you entered the hall and let out a breath of relief. You carefully snuck your way to your room without being spotted.
You carefully set Ramen on your bed before rummaging around your room. After a few minutes of searching, you found a decent-sized cardboard box and an old shirt that you had stolen from Mammon ages ago. "These should do..." You mumbled to yourself as you moved back to your bed. Ramen looked at you in curiosity as you held the items out to him. "What do you think? These good enough?"
Ramen cautiously approached the shirt in your hand and gave it a little sniff. He scrunched up his tiny nose and furiously wiped at it with his hands.
You cackled and threw the shirt aside. "Okay, okay. So you don't like the smell of Mammon's cologne. Noted." You went back to your closet and found an oversized PJ shirt that you never wore. You turned back to the rat. "How about this?"
Ramen took the shirt from your hands instantly began burying himself in it.
You cooed as his tiny little head popped out from the fabric and took a picture with your D.D.D. "This was the best choice I've made since coming down to the Devildom!" You giggled as you scooped up Ramed and the shirt and delicately set him in the box. "That should make a nice little bed for you. You're welcome to walk around my room, but you can't go anywhere else! I don't know how the brothers would react if they found you."
Ramen chittered from within the box burrowed deeper into his new home.
And just like that, you had your own secret little pet!
You had managed to go an entire week without anyone finding out about Ramen.
Sure you spent a little more time in your room, but it was exam season, so no one questioned it.
The boys did find it a little odd that you seemed to be avoiding letting any of them inside your room but, well, you weren't exactly the most normal human, so they brushed it off.
Meanwhile, you were having the time of your life with Ramen! You had taught him to stand on his hind legs and had a number of conversations with your new best friend.
The coolest thing about Ramen, however, was something you didn't even teach him.
One night, you had been studying and were mumbling to yourself about being cold. A few minutes later, you heard a slightly muffled chittering noise come from beside you. When you looked down, two green eyes peered up at you from under a blanket. Ramen squeaked and chittered until you picked up the blanket and wrapped it around yourself. Once you did, the rat nodded and waddled back to his box.
It wasn't just a one-time incident either. Every time you mentioned needing something out loud, Ramen would go off and fetch it for you without you even asking. He was the best pet ever.
You didn't think that this incredibly handy skill of his would ever be a problem.
You were wrong.
You had been studying one weekend, Ramen sitting in your lap as you read through your notes, when your stomach growled. Ramen perked up and looked up at you before climbing off your lap and scurrying away ā you were so invested in your notes that you hardly noticed.
It wasn't until you heard an extremely high pitch screech come from the kitchen that realized where exactly Ramen had gone.
"Fuck!" You cursed as you launched yourself out of your desk and sprinted down to the kitchens faster than Mammon when Levi found out he sold one of his figurines.
You drifted the corner and slammed open the kitchen door to see Asmo on a counter, jumping and pointing at Ramen as Satan chased him with a broom.
"Ramen!" You shouted as the rat ran over to you. You quickly picked him up and clutched him to your chest.
Asmo's skin tinted green as he saw you hold the rodent. "MC put it down! You don't know where that thing's been! URGH!"
You frowned in offence on Ramen's behalf. "I'll have you know that Ramen is a distinguished gentleman and keeps himself perfectly clean. Don't you, pal?"
Ramen squeaked and nodded pointedly. You smiled scratched his little head.
Satan slowly lowered the broom as he narrowed his eyes at you. "MC, do not tell me that you took in a street rat as a pet."
You pouted. "He was clearly abandoned! The little guy is too well behaved to have ever been wild. And he's so smart too!"
Ramen looked at Satan smugly from where was currently sitting on your shoulder.
Satan's eyes widened as he noticed the rat's green eyes. "MC, look at that thing. It's not natural. Rat's don't have green eyes like that, and he's got this aura ... I don't like it. You need to put him back."
You giggled and shook your head. "Well, obviously he's not natural. Ramen is special. I think he might be magic. He understands everything I say, you know? He's really nice."
Asmo whined and squirmed from where he stood on the counter. "Can you just please, for the love of Diavolo, put that thing back where it came from?!"
You frowned at them. "I can't just throw him back out there! He'd die!" You snapped your gaze over to Satan. "You take cats in all the time! Ramen is no different. He's going to be staying with me, and if you have a problem with it, you can take it up with Lucifer!" And with that, you turned on your heel and marched straight back to your room, completely oblivious to the victorious smirk that Ramen sent Asmodeus and Satan's way.
You had barely gotten Ramen into his box when you heard a pounding knock on your door.
The door swung open a second later, revealing a tired Lucifer, frantic Mammon, concerned Satan and a disgusted Asmodeus.
"Where's the rat?" Lucifer asked in a flat tone.
You carefully blocked the box in the corner of your room and smiled innocently at the demons. "Hey now! Let's talk about this! Is there really any harm in me having a little pet?"
"A rat ain't a pet, MC!" Mammon snapped as he tried peering around you. "Even Barbatos is scared of those rodents! Ya can't just keep one in the house! It's not clean!"
You groaned as you picked up Ramen's box and distanced yourself from the group. "I already explained, Ramen is perfectly clean! Besides humans keep rats as pets all the time!"
Mammon's face scrunched up in disgust. "Tell me ya didn't name a fuckin' rat after my favourite food?"
You shrugged. "I found him in a ramen cup, so I named him Ramen."
Lucifer sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "You found him- Urgh, why am I even surprised?" He glared down at you. "You cannot keep him here."
You pouted and put down the box. You lifted up the top half of Ramen's body with your hands and held him close to your face. "But look at his little face and tiny hands" "Hello! My name's Ramen and you should let me stay!" You spoke in a falsetto as you lightly bounced to the rat alongside your words.
Lucifer raised an unimpressed eyebrow. "No."
You whined and hugged him close to you, "But he's my best friend!"
"Oi!" Mammon shouted, looking genuinely hurt by your words. "I thought I was your best friend?"
Asmo scoffed as he crossed his arms over his chest. "You're the only one who thought that, Mammon," He furrowed his eyebrows as he peered down at the rat. "Though it's ridiculous to think they would choose a rat over moi."
You softened your face as you pleadingly looked up at Lucifer. "Please. Please let me keep him. You won't even notice he's here."
Lucifer's cold expression cracked a little at the look on your face. He sighed as he shook his head. "I'm sorry MC, but I can't let a wild rat stay here," he winced at the broken whine that you let out. "If it makes you feel better, we can get you another pet," Satan's head whipped around to look at Lucifer, who has denied him a cat for decades in shock and betrayal, "but you have to put him back."
You sniffed, holding Ramen close as you nodded. "C-Can I go alone? I want to say goodbye."
Lucifer closed his eyes for a moment before letting out a heavy breath. "Fine," he turned and began to leave the room. "Just so long as he doesn't come back with you."
Ramen squeaked and squirmed in your arms, trying to get free from your grasp and guiltily took him out of the House of Lamentation and back to the Devildom streets.
You sniffled as you reached the ally way you had found him.
"I'm sorry, Ramen," you whimpered. The rat stopped squirming for a moment as he looked up at you with sad, pleading eyes. You hugged against your chest. "I wish you were human. That way we could've stayed best friends forever!" You kneeled down and carefully set the rat on the ground. "B-Be careful out here, okay? There's all kinds of things out th-there that would eat a k-kind rat like you a-a-and-"
"I thought heard something down here."
Your yelped as you jumped around and saw two large demons blocking off the exit to the ally.
The taller of the two smirked as he leaned against the wall. "Awfully far from home, aren't ya, little human?"
You gulped and took a step back. "I don't want any trouble. I'm having a really bad day, so if you could please let me go-"
The shorter one barked out a laugh as a malicious smile curled onto his face. "Ya hear that, Krimper? The poor pathetic human had a bad day!"
You felt your heart race in your chest as you realized these demons had no intention of leaving you alone. You reached a hand back to grab your D.D.D, only to realize that you had forgotten in your room.
Shit.
Krimper looked down at you in amusement. "That's right, human. You're not-" a small woosh sounded out from behind you, but you knew better than take your eyes away from the predators in front of you. The demons' eyes bulged as they took a step back. "Y-You're n-n-not..."
You froze as a deep growl resonated from behind you. "Leave the human alone," you squeaked as a heavy, tanned hand cemented itself on your shoulder.
"Let's get outta hear!" The smaller demon crowed before the two of them sprinted out of the ally way.
You trembled, remaining as still as possible in the demon's grasp. "Th-Thank you for s-s-saving me. B-But can you please let me go?"
"OH!" To your surprise, the demon's hand came off of you instantly. "Right! Yes! Sorry. I was j-just trying to intimidate them. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable!"
You slowly turned around to see a tanned, seven-foot-tall man with familiar green eyes lightly panicking as he fiddled with his hands.
He ran a hand through his dark curls as he laughed awkwardly. "I-I guess, I should probably explain," he opened his arms to show off his whole figure. "It's just me, MC! It's Ramen! Though, my real name is Bruno. I'm a mid-level demon of greed with the ability to transform into a rat."
You narrowed your eyes at the man, "You're Ramen?"
He nodded and scratched the back of his neck. "Surprise?"
You glanced down at the ground and noticed that, sure enough, Ramen was nowhere to be found. You hummed in thought as you stared at Bruno. "Quick. What did I have for breakfast this morning?"
"A bagel," he answered easily.
You gasped and stepped closer to him. "You are Ramen!"
He smiled widely and gave you an awkward set of jazz hands. "In the flesh!" A glint of amusement flickered in his eyes as he raised an eyebrow at you. "Though, I suppose this means your wish came true. I'm humanoid now, which means," he tilted his head as he peered down at you with an unsure expression, "we can be best friends forever?"
You squealed and rushed over to Bruno giving him a huge hug. "Of course, we can, Bruno! Oh my god! This is incredible!" You bounced excitedly as you looked up at him. "What should we do first?"
He smirked, "Well best friends are always there for one another, and I see how forgetful those brothers can be. So, I was thinking," he stuck his hand out towards you. "Why don't we make a pact?"
There were practically stars in your eyes as you nodded, "That way we'd have matching tattoos! Smart thinking. We can make a secret handshake too!"
Rather than shaking his hand, Bruno looked down, dumbfounded, as you folded up his hand into fists and lightly hit yours on top of it, below it, and then knuckle to knuckle. He was even more surprised when he felt a small burning sensation on his palm as the pact was accepted.
You let out a loud cheer as you fist-bumped your hands in the air. "Alright! Best friends!" You giggled and turned to the shocked Bruno.
While he had already grown fond of you during his time as rat do to your kind heart and generous nature, he now found himself falling head over heels for you. The man could already tell that he would quickly become a fully certified simp.
You gestured for Bruno to follow you, and he quickly scrambled to move by your side, shoulders hunched over so he could look down at you easier. "Where are we going?"
You scoffed and smirked up at him. "Home, obviously. Lucifer said you can't live with us, because you were a rat, and I doubt he'll let you live with us even if you're like this, but he can't keep me from having friends over! Especially if we have a pact together!"
Bruno laughed at your tenacity. It wasn't every day you saw someone who was so fearless against the Morningstar. He could tell that he'd have his work cut out for him as your guard rat.
You swung open the House of Lamentation doors with a wide grin. "I'm home!"
Lucifer and the rest of the brothers were waiting for you at the entrance.
Lucifer sighed as he heard your voice, "MC. I apologize again for you having to get rid of Ramen. I know you were fond of him, but-"
He stopped short as he noticed the tall, smirking demon standing smugly behind you. His eyes narrowed as all the brothers instantly moved into defensive positions. "MC, who the fuck is that?" Lucifer snarled.
You beamed brightly as gestured to your new friend. Their eyes widened as they spotted the new, deep gold pact-mark resting on your right palm. "It's Ramen! He's actually a demon! Isn't this great?!"
Bruno gave the group an awkward two-finger salute, showing off his own pact mark. "Hi."
The brothers' jaws dropped as they took in your words.
"WHAT?!"
***And that was the joyous crack that was this request! Thanks again @mammonsturtle for allowing me to have so much fun with this. It was amazing. Thank you all for the love the support! I hope you enjoyed Ramen/Bruno and the fic! -B***
TAGLIST: @thegrimgrinningghost @henry-and-the-seven-lords @satans-beloved-riv @cosmixbun @sufzku @halfhysterical @obey-mes-treasure @kissed-by-a-dementor @yukihaie @justtiarra @mammoneybb @poly-bi-mf @burrixino @rulaien @pumpkins-mainside-blog @acousticpen @sucker-for-angst-and-fluff @itskrispy @10paradox10 @vallison-rea @ivoryclive @newfangled-artistry @pumpkinpatchkid


















