#recipeforme

My car will be $4500 to fix it and get it moving again since its been completely dead for a week. (it started smoking out the hood and then died at the end of my street and wouldnt take a jump) Well, my dad doesnt want to invest the money cause it's twice the amount he paid for it. So i guess Benji's done for :'( i feel like its just bad news on top of bad news...

I'm way too fucked up right now.. I'm happy to be back home though

All i ask is one selfish thing, that for me and my life, you stay with me and try. I love you to death, and youre the reason i wake up in the morning. i know you love me, and i wish i didnt love you more than you love me, but the fact that youre here means we can make it. After all this shit, i can tell you right now, we will make it. I'm happy for the most part, but in all honesty, this is the happiest ive felt my whole life. When i say i found my other half, i mean it. I found my reason, my purpose, the answer to 'why?'. And i dont want to have to love again after you. No ones ever mattered as much to me as you do to me, and ive never mattered to anyone even half as much as i matter to you. I'm scared shitless of you leaving, nothing else. Im not scared of death or jail or spiders nearly as much as i am of the day you leave me. I know you need alone time sometimes, and you second guess yourself when you think too much, but i can promise you no one will love you as much as i do. We're two wierd people who think exactly alike and i wouldnt ask for anything else if i could know we'd be together in the end. I dont have anything if i dont have you, not a family, not a friend, not a reason to stay. No one scares me more or gives me so much happiness, as you do. Every word you say affects me, every thing you do makes me love you even more, and i never want to fight with you. I know you probably wont read this, but please know, youre the one for me. without you, i am nothing. Maybe i was nothing to begin with, but if thats true, you make me feel like something and thats all i could ask for is you and the way you make me feel :) youre my squirtle, and i dont know what id do without you..

Things are looking up :)