#reallyfuckedup

“I woke up depressed, dressed up depressed, had my coffee depressed, came to work out depressed but then that message popped up and I saw your name, I smiled and I knew my doomed soul melted in you.”

I don't think there is enough alcohol in this world to erase you out of my head. I don't want to remember the things you used to say or the way you made me feel. The promises we made together are all lies now. How could I let you break me to this point where I don't want to be alive anymore more than before. I question now if you ever truly loved me. How could you go from wanting to marry me to telling me to go fuck myself. Even my hardest wasn't enough for you. Having mental illnesses and being in love is poison. Dying and being in love is poison. You don't even care do you so why should I? Why do I still think about you? It's clear that things won't come from this. I need another bottle or maybe two. Pain killers and self harm are what get me through each day now. Why did I read your letter? Fuck when will this pain end....

Tal vez todavía sigo creyendo en la humanidad. Tal vez esa es mi mayor desventaja. Porque aunque la gente se horrorice con la poca humanidad que va quedando en el mundo, son capaces de apartarte de ellos cuando les abres tu corazón y ven que en él no hay algo que realmente les convenga, o que no los ponga tristes. Debería odiar, debería ser egoísta, debería ser fría. Pero al final del día, lamentablemente, mis pensamientos siempre están en las personas que quiero y que no se merecen mi amor, pero aún lo hago, sin saber por qué.