#f-uckforever

Tal vez todavía sigo creyendo en la humanidad. Tal vez esa es mi mayor desventaja. Porque aunque la gente se horrorice con la poca humanidad que va quedando en el mundo, son capaces de apartarte de ellos cuando les abres tu corazón y ven que en él no hay algo que realmente les convenga, o que no los ponga tristes. Debería odiar, debería ser egoísta, debería ser fría. Pero al final del día, lamentablemente, mis pensamientos siempre están en las personas que quiero y que no se merecen mi amor, pero aún lo hago, sin saber por qué.

I need winter, I miss the habit. Vests and Jackets are my best friends and cold it's the excuse. I need to do it without him asking why and looking at me with those sick eyes and pretending that he's hurt and then shouting me because I couldn't pick up the phone in time, because i forgot something, because I dress the way he doesn't like, because I'm ugly, because he's thinks I'm ugly. Huh, it's kinda sad, because everytime my self-esteem grows. He's there, shouting me, and reminding me that I'm ugly, that I'm fat, that I really shouldn't eat that, that "you woke up too late, no breakfast for you, and really, you don't need it. Look at you, you're really fat, now get out, I don't want to see your fat arse. Make some Rice for dinner, and hurry up, this house has to be done". Also, I am  w o r t h l e s s So, I think it's okay to him, to hit me, to hit everytime i do something wrong, that I don't speak clearly, that I think something he's says is wrong. But, sadly, I still feel like shit when he does that He's my dad, and I'm her fucking daughter, the shame, the thing he did wrong. I wish I haven't born at all