#really really trying

By the time he reached the main streets he was tired and in pain, and he couldn’t face the slog through the snow to his own house.  He went to Granny’s instead, pushing open the door and taking a seat at the bar with a sigh of relief.  The bunch of flowers was looking a little windswept by its swift passage from the hospital, and he dropped it on the bar, ordering a whisky from Miss Lucas, hesitating slightly, then making it a double.  She poured it for him with a sympathetic smile, but didn’t fall into the cliché of asking whether he had had a rough day.  He supposed it was obvious to anyone who could see him.  He took a drink, wiping a droplet of whisky from his lip and letting it burn its way down inside.  The arrival of Dorothy was a welcome distraction.

“Hey!” she said, a little breathlessly.  “Hell of a day, huh?  You wanna buy me a drink?”

“Here,” said Gold, shoving the flowers at her.  Dorothy took them, brow crinkling in puzzlement.

“What are these for?”

“Flowers,” he said impatiently.  “Stick them in a vase or something.  Or take them home, I don’t care.”

“Okay, it’s just - why are you giving them to me?”

“Maybe I’m grateful for all the good work you’ve done at the hospital since you got here,” he said shortly, and she gave him a look.

“I know you are,” she said.  “I also know that you’re a thoughtful sort of guy, and I very much doubt you bought these flowers for your favourite lesbian when you know in your heart she’d prefer a decent bottle of vodka.”

“Do you want the flowers or not?” he snapped.

Dorothy put her hands on her hips, the plastic wrapper crinkling around the bouquet.

“Oh, I’ll take ‘em,” she said.  “If you tell me who they were really meant for.  And if the answer is anything other than sweet little Belle French who you’re very clearly totally in love with, you’re an idiot.  Come to think of it, you’re an idiot anyway for giving these to me when you should be presenting them to her on bended knee while you apologise for being an asshat and ask her out for dinner.”

“I don’t—”

“Followed by lots of sex, future marriage and babies,” she added.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he said repressively.

“Which bit?”  She grinned at him.  “The part about you being an idiot or the part about you being in love with Belle?  Did I lose you at the marriage and babies part?”

“I did apologise!” he snapped.  “I took your advice.  And Jefferson’s, for all the good it did.”

“You’re not seriously telling me she told you to shove it?”

“Of course not…”  He took a sip of his drink.  “She accepted my apology, said we were friends.  She was very gracious about it.”

“Well then,” she said.  “Now you can move on to the next step, right?  Ask her out.  Tell her you’re totally in love with her and you want to see her naked.”

“For fuck’s sake—”

“You can offer to let her see you naked as a sweetener,” she added.

“I’m not in love with Belle!” he insisted, ignoring both the comments on nudity and the fact that he was almost certainly lying.  “And - and even if I was, it wouldn’t make any difference.  She’s seeing someone.”

Dorothy’s eyebrows shot up.

“Since when?”

“Since he turned up outside the hospital and swept her off her feet,” he said, his tone impatient.

“Really?”  Dorothy gave him a flat look.  “Who is this lothario?”

“I don’t know,” he muttered.  “Short hair.  Her age.  Zelena says they’re together.”

“You believed something Zelena said?”

“Well…”  He frowned at that.  “I don’t think she was lying.  They were all over each other.”

“In what way?”

“In the hugging and kissing way, what do you think?” he said shortly.

“Hmm.”  Dorothy took a slurp of her drink.  “Tongue?”

“I wasn’t exactly gonna walk over there and check,” he snapped.

“So they could just be friends.”

“Friends that like to kiss each other,” he grumbled.

“I kiss my friends.”  She leaned in and pressed a warm kiss to his cheek, leaving the scent of flowers in his nose.  “See?  And trust me, I really don’t want to sleep with you.”

Gold had to grin at that.

“Your loss,” he quipped.

“That’s the spirit.”  She clinked her glass against his, winking.

“You guys started without me!”

Jefferson’s injured tone made them both look around, and he shrugged out of his coat, stamping snow from his boots.  He was carrying a large padded envelope under his arm, and he shoved it onto the bar, brushing snowflakes from his dark hair.

“What’ll it be?” asked Dorothy.  “Gold’s drowning his sorrows, and we’re all pitching in.”

Jefferson’s mouth fell open.

“She said no?”

“She didn’t say anything,” said Gold, in a wry tone.  “I never got the chance to ask.”

“She was talking to some guy,” put in Dorothy.  “And this moron here assumes they’re bumping uglies three times a night, without actually asking her about it.  Hence the drowning of the sorrows.”

“I’m not drowning my sorrows,” muttered Gold.

“Sure you’re not,” she said, with a sniff.  “You’re pretty much crying into your whisky thinking she might have the hots for someone else, but you absolutely have no feelings for her whatsoever, nope.”

“I didn’t say I had no feelings for her,” he said.  “I - I just meant that it doesn’t matter.”

“I never heard of her having a boyfriend,” said Jefferson.  “Where the hell did this come from?”

“I bloody well saw them, that’s what!” snapped Gold.  “Do you people think I just go around creating painful scenarios in my head for fun?”

“Yes,” they said, in unison, and he scowled, turning back to his whisky.

“Look,” said Jefferson patiently.  “I’m willing to bet she’s not seeing this mystery guy.  If she was, why wouldn’t she mention it?”

Gold didn’t have an answer for that, and Jefferson rolled his eyes.

“She was staying at your house for days,” he added.  “Did she mention a boyfriend to you then?  Or call him?  Even once?”

She didn’t.  She didn’t call anyone except her father.

“He was abroad,” he said.  “Just got back in the country.”

“But did she mention him?”

Gold was silent, and Dorothy sighed.

“You need to say something to her,” she said.  “Forget about this not-boyfriend, and just tell her how you feel.  Life’s crappy enough without ignoring the few opportunities for love that come along.”

“I’m not—”

Dorothy slammed down her glass and grabbed at the napkin holder, waving it at him threateningly.

“I swear by all that’s holy if you tell me you’re not in love one more time, I will take this napkin holder and shove it up your oblivious ass!” she snapped. “With no lube!”

Gold burst out laughing, followed by Jefferson, and after a moment she joined in, putting down her weapon of choice.

“I’m serious,” she said, when they had stopped chuckling.  “You like her.  She likes you—”

“She likes everyone,” said Gold wearily.  “That’s who she is.”

“What did I say about the napkin holder, hmm?”

Gold sighed, slumping a little on the bar, and Dorothy turned to Jefferson, fishing a twenty-dollar bill from her pocket.

“Get yourself a drink,” she said.  “And get him another one.  I’m gonna go see what I can find out about this alleged boyfriend.”

“You don’t even know where they’ll be,” grumbled Gold, feeling like a moody teenager and hating himself for it.

“Well, they’re not here,” said Dorothy patiently.  “So they’re obviously at the Rabbit Hole, right?”

“Or back at her place, picking up where they left off,” said Jefferson helpfully, and Dorothy smacked his shoulder.

“Not.  Helping.”

“Look,” sighed Gold, sitting up.  “I appreciate you two trying to cheer me up, but this is ridiculous.  Leave Belle to have some time with her - well, whatever he is.  Just bloody well have a drink with me, would you?”

“Jefferson can be you drinking buddy for the next twenty minutes,” said Dorothy.  “I’ll be back.  Mine’s a vodka tonic.  Keep my seat warm, okay?”

With that she was gone, and Jefferson slid into her seat, beaming at Gold.

“So,” he said.  “What are we drinking?”

x

Belle took a slurp of her drink, setting it back on the table and grinning at Will.  He was very tanned, his hair shorter than ever.  A little thinner than he had been when she last saw him, but he looked happy, which was all she cared about.

“You’re looking well,” he said, echoing her thoughts.  “Small town life must agree with you.”

“It - has its moments,” she admitted.  “What about you?  Still teaching?”

“Yeah, I’m loving it,” he said enthusiastically.  “Going back in the New Year. There’s a great little community of us now, and the local people are so welcoming.  You should come out and visit sometime.”

Belle sighed.

“God, I’d love to,” she said reluctantly.  “No bloody chance at the moment.  I’m trying to save up for a place of my own.”

He made a noise that suggested he knew exactly how it was to need more cash, and picked up his glass.

“Come on then, Belle,” he said.  “Drink up, we’re celebrating.”

Belle shot him a wry glance, and clinked her glass against his before taking a drink.

“There,” she said.  “Now d’you want to tell me what we’re celebrating?  I mean other than you turning up out of the blue right before Christmas after you’ve been radio silent for months?  I know you, you have something to tell me. Right?”

He sent her a lopsided grin, which made her even more convinced he had something to tell her.

“Yeah, sorry about being a crappy penpal,” he said.  “Life kind of got in the way.  I can only stay tonight, as well.  Got a bus to catch in the morning.”

“Well, I’d offer you a bed, but you know how Dad is,” said Belle, with a roll of her eyes.  “We never did set up the guest bedroom, and it’s full of all his fishing crap.”

“No need, I got a room at that bed and breakfast,” he said, taking a slurp of his beer.  “Flew into New York yesterday, and figured I’d stop by on the way to Toronto, see how you were doing.”

“And?” she teased, and he grinned.

“Nothing gets past you, does it?” he remarked, his eyes glinting.  “Okay, I wanted you to be the first to know.  I’ve - I’ve met someone.  The one.  The love of my life.”

Belle’s eyes widened, and she almost bounced in her seat.

“That’s wonderful!” she said.  “Is this the reason for the trip to Toronto?”

He nodded, looking almost shy as he turned his glass between his fingers.

“She’s asked me home to meet the family,” he said.  “Her name’s Anastasia.  Ana.  She’s - God, Belle, she’s everything!”

Belle couldn’t seem to stop smiling.  She reached out to hug him, squeezing him tightly, and Will squeezed back.

“I’m so happy for you,” she said, her voice muffled a little by his scarf.  “I can’t wait to meet her.”

“Well, that’s partly the reason for my visit,” he said.  “I - uh - I asked her to marry me.  Wondered if you’d come to the wedding.  It’ll be in Toronto, so not far to travel.”

Belle sat back with a squeal of delight, clapping her hands.

“Oh my God!  Of course!” she said.  “When’s the wedding?”

“Hopefully next September,” he said.  “We haven’t told her family yet.  Belle, I was such a bloody idiot when I asked her, I didn’t even have a ring!  We were walking along the beach at midnight the day before she flew home, and the stars were out, and it was perfect, and I just kind of blurted it out.  Luckily she said yes.”

“Lucky for you indeed,” said Belle, amused.  “So when are you getting a ring?”

“Oh, I got one,” he said hastily.  “She’d been saying how pretty it was, so I hope she’ll like it.  Here, let me show you.  You can give me a woman’s opinion.”

He reached into the inside pocket of his coat, bringing out a little box, and opened it up to reveal a white gold ring set with a ruby and diamond cluster.  Belle took the box, looking it over and smiling with delight as the light sparkled on the cut stones.

“It’s beautiful,” she said warmly.  “I’m sure she’ll love it.  I’m so happy for you, I truly am.  And I can’t wait to meet your bride-to-be.”

He smiled, his eyes gong soft, a far-away look in them.  A look of contentment, of happiness.  He had found the love of his life, and was loved in return.  She found that she envied him.

x

Dorothy shoved her hands in her pockets, tucking her chin into her scarf as she hurried along the street.  The Rabbit Hole wasn’t far, and she soon ducked in through the doorway with a sigh of relief, warmth flooding over her.  She didn’t bother taking off her coat; if Belle was there, it wouldn’t take her long to get the information she was after.

She spied Belle almost immediately, seated at a table in the corner with a young man sitting across from her.  The young man had soulful eyes and a ready smile, with close-cropped hair.  They were talking, their heads close together, but Dorothy couldn’t hear a thing over the sound of the music in the bar.  They seemed to get along very well, but she couldn’t see that the two of them were exhibiting any signs of being a couple.  Just two friends having a drink, as far as she could tell.  She was about to wander over to say hi, when Belle reached over to hug the man.  He hugged her back, eyes closed and a wide grin on his face, then sat back and said something.  Belle let out a squeal and clapped her hands, and the man’s grin broadened as he reached into the pocket of his coat and pulled out a ring box.

Dorothy pursed her lips.  That was definitely an engagement ring.  Belle had taken the ring and was looking it over, talking excitedly.  She can’t be getting engaged to someone when she’s never mentioned him.  That’s ridiculous.

She waited to see if the ring was going on Belle’s finger, but the box was closed, the young man put it back in his pocket, and they clinked glasses. Dorothy nodded to herself.  No kisses.  Nothing to suggest the guy was anything other than a friend.  Probably that ex that Belle had mentioned in the Rabbit Hole, the one who had seemed too much like a brother for her to want to kiss.  Whoever the engagement ring was for, it wasn’t Belle.

“Don’t they look happy?”

Zelena’s voice made her jump, and Dorothy turned with a scowl as the other woman sidled up next to her, a drink in one hand and a smirk on her face.

“They look like two friends enjoying a drink,” she said.  “He’s probably that ex she talked about.  The one that was just a friend.”

“They look like more than just friends to me,” said Zelena snidely.  “I’d say they look perfect for each other.”

“Yeah, well, given that you’d interpret someone telling you go jump in a lake as a come-on, I think your ability to read people is kind of crap,” said Dorothy dryly.  “What are you doing here, anyway?  You decided to stalk Belle now? Given up on creeping out Gold?”

“It’s a free country,” said Zelena stiffly.  “I might ask you the same question. Why are you lurking in here and not down at the diner mooning over that slutty waitress like usual?”

Dorothy felt her fists clench, and told herself to calm down.

“You know, you’re right,” she said.  “Gold was about to buy me a drink, so I should really get back there.  Not like I want to hang out with you, things haven’t gotten that desperate.”

Zelena scowled, nostrils flaring, but she tried to cover it with a smile.

“Suit yourself,” she said airily.  “Perhaps I’ll head down to Granny’s myself, help Dr Gold down some whisky.”

“Be prepared for him to leave as soon as you get there, then.”

“I’d go and say hello to Belle,” added Zelena, “but she looks rather busy, don’t you think?”

Dorothy raised her chin.

“Only one way to find out,” she announced.

She strode over to Belle’s table, causing Belle to look up with an expression of surprise, which became a warm smile.

“Dorothy!” she said.  “Hey!  D’you want a drink?”

“Nah,” said Dorothy bluntly.  “I’m helping a stupid friend drown his sorrows at Granny’s, and I really need to get back there before his brain implodes from all the over-analysing he’s doing.”

“I—”  Belle looked confused.  “Oh.  Okay.”

“Hi,” said the young man, and Belle’s eyes widened.

“Oh!  Sorry!  Dorothy, this is Will.  He’s a good friend of mine.  Will, this is Dorothy.  She works at the hospital as a nurse.”

“Pleased to meet you, Will,” said Dorothy.  “Any good friend of Belle’s is a friend of mine.”

She gave Zelena a meaningful look over her shoulder, and Zelena scowled. Dorothy turned back to face Belle and Will.

“So…”  She gestured between them.  “You guys aren’t dating, then?”

“Oh, God no!” said Belle, with a chuckle.  “No, we’re just friends.”

“I’m sort of ninety percent engaged to someone else,” added Will, and Dorothy grinned.

“Congratulations,” she said.  “Just thought I’d check.  People tend to jump to conclusions in this town.”

She glared at Zelena again, who had developed an interest in the contents of her drink.

“Okay, well - I guess I’ll see you at work,” said Dorothy breezily.  “Nice meeting you, Will.”