#reading twilight

The chapter starts with Edward staying with the Denali, the cousins of the Cullens. We learn that Tanya really wants to have sex with Edward, but he’s not into her, because he's a good mormon boy and he's doesn't think about girls that way. It would be wrong ! That doesn’t stop her from trying to get into his pants. Edward proceeds to describe her sex life.

Mostly, Tanya preferred human men—they were much more populous for one thing, with the added advantage of being soft and warm. And always eager, definitely. [...] Unlike Carlisle, Tanya and her sisters had discovered their consciences slowly. In the end, it was their fondness for human men that turned them against the slaughter. Now the men they loved… lived.

Holy Shit. That’s terrifying. (Bitchy Evil blonde moment #3). Stephanie Meyer really should write horror.

Edward could stay with the Denali indefinitely, as Tanya offers. They like him, they have the same diet, and he gets on with them reasonably well (impressive, considering how many people Edward despises, honestly). In fact, Edward only has to keep three people out of his head, as opposed to hundreds or thousands, since they live in Alaska. However, Edward feels like a coward because he ran away from Bella, so he decides to go back, even though it would put Bella in danger. That's literally his only reason. He doesn't want to run away. Edward is already unhealthily obsessed.

The Cullens don’t care about human life counter: 2

Edward decides to go back to school, after having missed six days. This makes Alice, the future seeing sister, paranoid and desperately scanning the future for any sign of danger, making Edward feel very stifled.

I hated being the focus of their concern. I felt a sudden sympathy for Jasper, remembering all the times we’d hovered protectively over him. He met my glance briefly, and grinned. Annoying, isn’t it? I glowered at him. 

This could lead to an interesting bonding moment, where Edward understands what it means to be Jasper and gains a new perspective on life, growing as a person, and where Jasper could help Edward cope with his thirst, giving him tips or even only understanding.

It doesn’t happen, of course. Edward isn't allowed to grow as a person.

The next few pages are filler of the Cullens chilling in the cafeteria. Bella is clearly anxious about going to biology with Edward, and doesn’t eat, which makes Edward feel protective and jealous that Mike Newton is protective, for some unfathomable reason.

Of course, not everyone has the same opinion on what Edward should do.

“Why push it, Edward?” Jasper asked. Though he didn’t want to feel smug that I was the weak one now, I could hear that he did, just a little. “Go home. Take it slow.”

“What’s the big deal?” Emmett disagreed. “Either he will or he won’t kill her. Might as well get it over with, either way.”

“I don’t want to move yet,” Rosalie complained. “I don’t want to start over. We’re almost out of high school, Emmett. Finally.”

The Cullens don’t care about human life counter: 3

In their following class, Edward and Bella have a conversation about why she came to Forks. 

Edward shows that he knows nothing about humans, or people in general. In fact, Bella asks him how he knows to call her Bella (and not Isabella), and Edward is confused about why she asks, for a while, until 

I felt a pang of unease. It was very quick of her to pick up on my slip. Quite astute, especially for someone who was supposed to be terrified by my proximity.

Oh, yes. Bella is a genius to be wondering how he knows about a nickname she never gave him. She’s also a genius to wonder how Edward changed his eye color a few lines later.

Edward becomes fascinated by her over the course of the conversation. The problem with this is that their conversation has nothing mysterious in it or out of the ordinary. Bella moved to Forks so her mother could travel with her new husband. It’s not that complicated. The fact he can’t read her mind is the only reason he cares. Bella also explains she hates Forks because it’s wet and cold.

She made a face, her eyes narrowing and her mouth twisting into a lopsided frown, and she looked back toward the front of the class. She didn’t like it when I guessed right. She wasn’t the average martyr—she didn’t want an audience for her pain. 

She’s not like other martyrs, you see.

I was not used to being the less intuitive of any pairing. I relied on my extra hearing too much—I clearly was not as perceptive as I gave myself credit for. 

Clearly.

In Spanish class, Emmett insists it doesn’t matter if Edward kills Bella, and then, they all go home.

Conclusion

I’m not so sure what the scene with Tanya was meant to show us, apart from Edward refusing a gorgeous woman, which makes Bella extra special. This reminds me of Twilight, where there would be scenes and scenes of useless information, like if an editor hadn't one it's job.

We learn that Edward lacks self reflection very much, in a very seventeen year old way. In fact he forgot what he thought about Jasper just a chapter earlier (that he should quit trying to get better control, because he’ll never get better). This could be an interesting moment, where Edward and Jasper get closer because of a shared struggle, but it’s just… not. That's something that was one of Twilight's weakness. Despite it's very pretentious/dark academia aesthetic, it lacks depth and substance.

Chapters: Preface&1, 2, 3&4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9&10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15&16, 17, 18-20, 21-Epilogue

Phone Call

I finally googled what exactly VCR was, because I have no idea. Like, I think we may have owned one when I was a toddler.

Oof... this is bad.

I totally don’t blame Bella for breaking apart at this moment. Holy fuck. At least she’s an only child.

I’m like... genuinely freaked out. Like, even knowing this is fake and he probably used her old home videos or something, SMeyer can apparently write pretty decent horror, when she’s not obsessing over angelic teenagers. But I guess when women write fantasy it has to be a young adult romance.

Hide-and-seek

Damn, good one, girl.

If that’s how you chose to spend your potential last hours alive, I have no problem with that.

Called it with the home video.

Alice backstory, yay.

But also, like... fuck this dude. SMeyer should have definitelly been a horror writer.

Aaand, fade to black.

An impasse

I had nothing to say to the last chapter. I certainly liked it more than the in-and-out-of-consciousness scenes in S&S, if that counts for something.

“I’m sorry I taste so good.” I get that you’re kinda fucked up now, but that’s weird, even for you.

“Alice had a lot of fun fabricating the evidence” Good for her.

Sooo... her mom married young and now thinks any relationship before 35 is gonna be horrible and fail... or something. I’d buy it more if it didn’t sounds so fucking cartoonish. But what do I expect from a Mormon author, I guess.

Bella is being decently logical. He’s being emo.

This little religious emo is going be the death of me, holy fuck.

An occasion

Alice, that sly little vixen. Guilt-tripping your future sister-in-law/crush into letting you play dress up with her, while she’s injured. That’s... definitelly something.

The angry doggos are gonna be watching, got it.

Angela went and got her short king, I see. Good for her.

He’s being emo again. Fucking kill me already.

Also... proms are evil incarnate and I hate them with seething passion. I’m 100% with Bella on that one. And Edward can go suck ass for doing that to her. (No, like literally, go eat a donkey and don’t do that shit to her again).

And, that’s it. I’m done with this book.

Final thoughts:

It was not as bad as I expected.

Like, maybe I have low standards, but like... it’s not bad? There’s definitelly some garbage, but not nearly as much as I’d been lead to believe. It has it’s WTF moments and Bella’s Edward obsession is kinda concerning, but like... it’s okay?

As I’ve said many times before, I’ve hated Siege and Storm much more than this. I’ve hated the Grisha books in general a lot more than this.

Chapters: Preface&1, 2, 3&4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9&10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15&16, 17, 18-20, 21-Epilogue

The Hunt

Oh, boy. Bella’s finally afraid of vampires. Took you long enough, I guess?

Holy shit, Edward, listen to your girlfriend. At least explain to her what’s happening before you kidnap her. She’s not stupid. She can help you make a fucking plan.

Alice is implying they can turn her, is that it? I think that’s it. And Edward is vehemently against that for some fucking reason. Bella would probably be down to live as a cryptid for the rest of her life.

See. Bella has good plans (for now, anyway).

Is he questioning if they can protect her or whether they can stop themselves from accidentally eating her?

Goodbyes

Oof, that was low, Bella. It worked, but damn.

Heterosexual PDA. Gross. (I’m kidding. Kinda).

Tis murder time.

Impatience

Alice is gay for Bella, confirmed. And vice versa.

We’re waiting for the other shoe to drop. Got it.

Bella is really comfortable with superpowers by now, huh?

Bella and Alice having a not-at-all-gay-eye-contact moment, I see.

We’ve already spent a chapter more on the climax than Siege and Storm did, so... I guess that makes S&S worse than Twilight? Both on the side of pacing and romance.

Chapters: Preface&1, 2, 3&4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9&10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15&16, 17, 18-20, 21-Epilogue

The Game

Sounds ominous. This will be doubly funny as I have absolutely 0 idea how baseball works. I’m from Czech Republic (central europe) and we don’t do that here.

Here’s Billy with some veiled warnings. Bella is having none of it and is very rude about it.

“Well, technically.” Lovely.

Charlie, ever the rule follower.

Why is he always complimenting her on smelling tasty, holy shit.

She’s not scared he’ll eat her, but she’s worried about high speed accidents. I mean, normally, that’s a valid way to look at it, but this is kinda absurd.

These two emos are going to be the death of me, that’s for sure.

“Oh yeah, I lost my baby and killed myself.” is a thing you bring up casually in conversation when you’re a vampire, I guess. That one caught me pretty of guard. Though, to be fair, I didn’t know much of the Cullen’s backstories and when when it comes to undead monsters, I guess some level of dark fuckery is to be expected.

Here come the bad guys. There’s still a hundred pages left. That’s not bad.