#readerxclint

“Whoa there, Sammy Sosa, it’s just me.” Clint Barton, your old friend from S.H.I.E.L.D., said as he held his hands up in surrender.

“Son of a bitch, Clint, you scared the life out of me!” You said as you breathed a sigh of relief and hugged your best friend. The bat went clanging to the ground and you noticed he wasn’t alone.

“Yeah there’s been an incident,” He said, scratching his head with a sheepish look on his face, “I-well we- need a place to hideout for a little while.”

“Or course! Get inside, hurry up, all of you.” You ushered them inside and took a headcount.

Clint, Natasha, Steve, Thor, Tony, and Bruce. It was going to be a full house and they were already filling in the space. Nat was looking around at your quaint decorations while Steve stood politely in the foyer. Thor, still not used to Midgardian households, was peering inquisitively at the small colorful fish as they swam around the tank. Tony was peering around, obviously accustomed to a higher standard of living. Bruce was quietly minding his own business, making himself as small as possible so as not to cause a commotion.

“Thank you so much, Y/N, you know we wouldn’t be here if it weren’t an emergency.” Said Clint once everyone was safely inside.

“And he’ll take any excuse to come see you.” Quipped Natasha and Clint pushed her away.

“It’s okay, really I don’t mind.” You said, giggling at their interaction. “You guys look exhausted, I can show you all to your rooms. There’s a lot of space, but it might be a little tight.”

“Some of us won’t mind doubling up and are you sure it’s not too much trouble? There are  seven of us after all.” Clint still looked a little worried so you puffed up your chest and put your hands on your hips in a show of confidence.

“Absolutely not! You would do the same if me and my superpowered friends showed up at your door in the middle of the night. Everyone, follow me!”

You led them all through your house, leaving them two by two in a room. There were three rooms total and you kept each one furnished with a bed or at least a pull out couch. It came in handy when your extended family, of which you had plenty, came for a visit. Had you anticipated that your house was going to turn into an Avengers bed and breakfast, you would have prepared a little more. Nonetheless, you paired them up and gave them extra blankets and pillows for their stay.

Steve and Natasha took the downstairs bedroom while Thor camped himself on the couch in the living room. It was an odd sight to behold when you saw him in his full battle gear pulling out the bed from the pullout couch. Tony and Bruce would be staying in the upstairs bedroom across the hall from your room and you could already hear him dictate the rooming arrangement. Clint followed you to the last bedroom towards the end of the hall and you opened the door to reveal a large bed and a dresser. It just so happened to be your bedroom and you were already running out of room.

“Um I can take the floor if that’s alright with you?” He asked nervously.

“You hate sleeping on the floor.” You said, recalling his high maintenance sleep regiment.

“Yeah, but you don’t have another couch and I don’t want to-” He began, but there was no way you were gonna let him sleep on the floor.

“Clint, shut up, we can share my bed. It’s not a big deal.” You shrugged as you pulled out some pajamas and tossed him a pair.

“The last time we shared a bed was back in Moscow, right before your last mission.” He said, a hint of a smirk etching itself onto his face.

You thought back to that day and you remembered it like it was yesterday. Those kisses and his soft touch all over your body. Just thinking about it sent shivers down your spine. In the days that followed you would take several bullets to your midsection and even more lacerations all over your body. There wasn’t even time for a proper goodbye because you nearly died then and there. Heat was rising to your cheeks for more reasons than one and you looked for an excuse to leave the room as soon as possible.

“Those should fit you and I’ll be right back after I hand the rest out to the troops.” You rushed the words out as you threw a pile of pajamas at him.

You didn’t even acknowledge his comment and he watched as you left with your arms full of clothes. You back tracked to all the rooms and dispersed the goodies. They mostly consisted of over-sized t shirts and sweatpants anyways so they fit just about everyone. Once everyone was dressed, you went around to all the rooms again and triple checked that they were alright.

“Y/N, you put Wendy Darling to shame.” Said Steve as you walked in with another armful of extra pillows.

“I just want to make sure you guys have everything you need.” You said innocently as you plopped the pillows down on the bed.

“We’re all just fine, Y/N,” said Natasha, keeping you in one place with her hands on your shoulders, “honestly, you’re doing too much. It’s three o'clock in the morning. Go. To. Bed.”

“Are you sure you don’t need-” You tried to ask, but Natasha was quite literally pushing you out the door.

“Yes, we’re sure now go get some sleep!” She good heartedly shut the door in your face and you trudged upstairs. The late night was finally getting to you and you collapsed into the bed next to Clint.

“I promise this is only temporary.” Said Clint as soon as you crawled under the covers with him.

“You guys can stay as long as you need to, Clint, it’s really no trouble. I actually kinda missed all of this.” You said with a slight shrug as you snuggled into the blankets, sleep slowly taking over.

“We missed you too, especially me.” He mumbled, his voice drowsy as he was on the edge of sleep as well. “Good night, Y/N.”

“Good night, Clint.” You said, a small smile settling on your face just before you passed out.

The sunshine snuck in through the curtains and hit Clint in the face. His eyes blinked open and squinted at the light as it pulled him out of his deep sleep. He was confused at first until his surroundings came into view and he recognized the familiarity of your room. His heartbeat slowed down a little as he had begun to panic and felt around the bed for you. However, it picked up again when he couldn’t find you.

Clint jumped out of the bed and raced downstairs. His socked feet slipped on the wood floor as he rounded the corner. Voices were coming from the kitchen so he headed there. Upon arrival, he found you showing Thor how to flip a pancake and the rest of the team crowded around your dining table.

“Ah, Barton!” Shouted Thor jovially when he saw Clint staring wide eyed at the scene before him. “You must see what Y/N taught me, watch.”

Thor proceeded to flip the pan with entirely too much force, causing the pancake to stick to the ceiling. He looked around until he saw it stuck up there and just about everyone nearly busted a gut laughing.

“Nice try, big guy, but I’ll take it from here.” You said kindly and took the pan out of his hand. “Good morning, sleepy head, I was beginning to wonder if you’d ever wake up.” You said to Clint as he joined you and the rest of the team.

“Yeah I guess I was pretty tired.” He said and he took a seat next to Natasha as she feasted on some eggs.

“That’s okay, are you hungry?” You didn’t let him answer and set a plate with a stack of pancakes, about a half dozen scrambled eggs, a pound of bacon, and several slices of toast down in front of him.

“I guess I am.” He instantly wolfed down half the food and you were glad to see he liked it.

“Good because there’s extras on the stove in case anyone else wants more. I gotta get to work, but stay as long as you need to, alright?”

“Work? I thought you retired from S.H.I.E.L.D.? Asked Tony through a mouthful of bacon.

“I picked up a job on the side at a law firm. Apparently retirement didn’t really suit me.” You said with a shrug as you snagged a cup of coffee and bolted out the door.

You knew them all on a personal level so you trusted that they wouldn’t blow the place up while you were gone. That didn’t stop you from worrying that they would be discovered. Different scenarios replayed in your head, each of them more gruesome than the last. It wasn’t as if you doubted their ability to defend themselves, they were obviously more than capable of doing so, but your maternal instinct was kicking in. Ok, and maybe you missed Clint and wanted to get back to him.

With all that in mind, you did what any reasonable woman in your shoes would do: You faked the stomach flu and took a sick day. They wouldn’t miss you and you had more important things to do anyways. You even pretended to gag a little bit on the way out for good measure. It was quite the performance and your boss totally bought it.

It was still the early afternoon when you were headed back to your secluded home and stopped for pizza on the way there. You had witnessed Thor’s eating habits first hand and Natasha definitely knew how to put it away so you grabbed enough pizzas to feed a small army. The aroma of gooey cheese and fresh dough must have made its way into your house because half the team met you outside when you pulled up.

“What are you doing home so early from work?” Asked Clint as he took the stack of pizzas from your hands.

“I felt like I was needed elsewhere,” You said, giving him a warm smile and followed him inside, “besides, I could already tell you’d be hungry and I don’t have enough food left to make dinner.”

“Oh so our Den Mother decided to feed us? That was nice of her.” Said Tony as he bit into slice of extra cheesy pizza.

“I know, I’m sorry I just wasn’t expecting so many houseguests.” You apologized and grabbed bottles of beer you had stashed in your fridge.

“I was joking, Y/N, you don’t have to do any of this and we’re all so grateful.” Tony said as he popped a beer open and the rest of the team nodded along with what he said.

“Yes, let us toast to our keeper!” Thor held up a can of coors light to you and everyone followed.

“To Y/N!” They all cheered and you tried to hide your blush.

The pizza lasted you all through the night and you moved the party to your patio. They caught you up on what you missed out on and you got to relive the good ole days again. You heard all about the most dangerous missions to date and you longed to be apart of those stories. Maybe it was the alcohol, but you were getting a little emotional over having missed out on so much.

“What do you say, Y/N, do you think you’ll ever come out of retirement?” Asked Steve as he munched the crust of his pizza.

“After the beating I took in Moscow? There’s no way I’d get clearance from anyone to go back into the field.” You absentmindedly rubbed at spot under your ribs.

“I thought that was just a cover up?” Natasha asked, never one to be out of the loop.

“I wish,” said Clint, “but no one’s put in as much work as Y/N. She deserved to get out and she deserves a good night’s sleep so let’s head inside.”

The team slowly packed up the show and shuffled inside. Once again, extra blankets and pillows were passed out and you gave everyone a fresh set of pajamas. You felt like their overprotective mother as you flitted from one room to the next, checking in on them. Your bed was calling to you and you finally trudged upstairs where Clint was already in bed so you followed suit.

“Sorry about all that with the retirement stuff,” said Clint once you closed the door, “they didn’t know it wasn’t your first choice after the accident.”

“It’s not their fault,” you said and shrugged off his apology, “I never thought that would be the way I’d go either so there’s no need to apologize.”

“We really do miss you, Y/N. Not just on missions, but when we’re at the tower and you’re not there, it feels like someone’s missing.”

“I was apart of the team for so long that it felt wrong to be on my own so I’m glad you’re all here, despite the circumstances.”

“If things were different-”

“Don’t think about what could have been, Clint, or we’ll never be able to sleep at night.” You cut him off because you knew what the rest of that sentence would be. You turned your back to him and shut off the lamp, leaving you both in complete darkness.

Soon enough, his breathing turned regular and you knew he’d fallen asleep. You were having less luck as you tossed and turned for a while. After several attempts to fall asleep you gave up entirely and got out of bed. You decided to make some tea to help you sleep, but you found Clint’s uniform on the ground.

Upon inspection, you noticed it had a few holes in it and other parts just looked a little worse for wear. You picked up the slightly tattered outfit and took it downstairs with you to the kitchen. While the water boiled, you pulled out a sewing kit and started patching up the holes as best you could. Once you wrapped up the repairs on his outfit, you took a peek around the house at everyone else’s. Just as you suspected, a few of them were in pretty bad shape too. Sleep wasn’t coming any time soon and the tea had done nothing for you so you set up your sewing station so you could quietly work on them.

“Y/N? What are you doing up so late?” Clint’s groggy voice startled you a bit and nearly caused you to poke your finger with the needle.

“Couldn’t sleep.” You said simply and held up the needle and thread.

“You are incorrigible, you know that?” He chuckled and joined you at the kitchen table.

“What did you want me to do? Your clothes were all holed up and I couldn’t leave them like that so now we’re here.”

“We never deserved you, ever.” He said, shaking his head at you as you continued to sew up Natasha’s spy suit.

“I never wanted to leave.” You said, almost too quiet for him to hear.

“We could find something for you back at S.H.I.E.L.D.,Y/N, ” Clint perked up a little and his words were rushed, “you don’t have to be out in the field.”

“Clint, I couldn’t go back unless it was to go out there and put my life on the line with you guys.” You heaved a heavy sigh that had been residing in your chest since the accident.

“Y/N, you don’t have to-”

“Clint, someone tipped off the wrong people that we’re here,” Steve came bursting in, still dressed in your sweatpants, “we need to go, now.”

“If you go now, I should be able to wipe any traces you might have left. After that, I can deal with whoever comes looking for you.” You said with confidence and the rest of the team came pouring into the dining room.

“We can’t just leave you.” Clint reached for your hand, but you pulled it away, afraid you would never let it go. Instead, you got up and started handing everyone their clothes so they could change.

“There’s no time for a proper goodbye, but take this,” you tossed Tony a pair of keys to an SUV, “and take the back road through the woods until you reach the next crtity over. It should give you a solid head start.”

Everyone was changed and the breaking sun shown some light on the car as Tony started the engine. Steve checked that they had everything they would need and you packed them a bag with lots of food and water for the drive. Almost everyone was piled into the car except for Clint who hung back.

“We can take you with us, it doesn’t have to be like this, Y/N.” He said to you as you stood planted in your doorway.

“Maybe,” you said sadly with crossed arms, “if things were different.”

“I’ll come back for you,” he said and cupped your face in his hands, “you can’t retire from me.”

“I never realized...”

“Neither did I, Cap, but it hit her hard. Harder than any of us could have ever known.” Clint rises from his seat, coffee in hand. “If we want her to come back, we have to be patient. We can’t force her into anything.”

Bruce, Natasha and Tony all wander into the room in a group. They look between Steve and Clint, somewhat confused. Natasha is the first to realize the development.

“You found her, didn’t you.” She says, her eyes lighting up.

“Nat...” Clint says softly.

“No, Clint, you found her. You found (Y/N), didn’t you?” She repeats.

“Wait,  did you?” Bruce asks. Clint doesn't answer and Tony becomes frustrated.

“Spit it out, Barton. Do you, or don't you know where she is?” Tony snaps.

“I do,” He answers. All of their shoulders seem to rise, like a weight’s been lifted. Clint doesn't want to continue, to give back that weight, but he has to. He looks to Steve, who just shrugs in defeat, before opening his mouth again. “But we're not going to go get her.”

“Why not?” Bruce asks, cautiously.

“She doesn’t want to come back.” Clint answers. “Not yet, at least.”

“Fine.” Tony says, running a hand over his weary face. “How do you wanna go about this?”

“I'm going to do this by myself.” Clint looks away from the group, taking a swig of his coffee, knowing the team wouldn't like the idea. He was right as everyone around gasped quietly and nearly collectively. “What?”

“Are you sure you're up for that, Barton?” Tony questions, cocking an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I am.” He says, nodding in response. “I mean, I… I-”

“We haven't got all day, Clint, just say it already.” Natasha says, slight irritation slipping into her voice.

“I love her, okay?” He says, setting his mug down on the table. “I love, (Y/N), and there's no way I'm going to chase her away. I know you guys want her back, but I can't lose her again.”

His words are met with wide eyes from Steve, Tony and Bruce but Natasha just nods. She’d known how Clint felt about (Y/N) before even he did, but it wasn’t until now mthat he had admitted it to anyone. She would never admit it, but she’s proud of him.

-Readers POV-

Tonight was was a surprisingly slow one for a movie theater on a Friday. Usually there's still hoards of people here at midnight, but not tonight for some reason. Regardless, I just keep on with my tasks for the night.

I finish up with the last person at the concessions stand and head empty the old popcorn from the machines, sweep up what’s fallen on the floor and mop up the various liquids from the counters and floor. I drag the boxes of candy back into the storeroom before grabbing a broom and rolling trash can and heading for the empty theaters. The sheer amount of garbage people leave behind after they’ve been asked for years by cinema’s everywhere to clean up after themselves is absolutely astounding. Within three minutes of being in theater thirteen I’ve gathered up a large tub of popcorn that’s still 75% full, four large soda’s that still probably have a quarter of their contents left in them and about twenty five unfinished boxes of candy, and that’s even before I sweep up. Do these people ever think about the fact that we employees have to clean up after them?

I grumble to myself as I clean the next six theaters, switch out my full trash can for an empty one and then move on to tidy up the next five. I have to wait for the last movie to let out before I can clean up the theater, so I just stand around outside, absentmindedly sweeping up the stray bits of candy and popcorn that have fallen from people’s clothing as they exit the theater.

As people trickle out, I weave my way through the crowd and into the viewing area and sigh loudly. The place looks like everyone collectively decided to empty their popcorn buckets onto the floor. Looking back at the teenagers who just left the ones who were smirking at me on my way in, I know that’s exactly what happened.

“Those little shits never have any respect for staff in places like this...” I growl angrily, beginning to sweep up the crumbling, greasy mess that is the massive piles of popcorn in the first third and seventh row. “It’s almost like they plan these stunts.”

“You want some help with that?” A familiar voice calls from the corridor leading to the entryway of the theater.

“What?” I whisper. No sooner had the word left my mouth when a dog comes trotting over to me, one eye gone and his tongue lolling out of his mouth. He looks up at me expectantly and I almost immediately recognize him. “Lucky?” I stoop down to scratch behind his ear. “What’re you doin’ here, buddy?”

“He came with me.” The owner of the voice that had previously spoken steps out from the shadows cast by the hallway. It’s Clint. I should have expected this much.

“I didn’t expect you to be back so soon.” I say, my voice even. I pat Lucky on the head a few times before rising and continuing my sweeping.

“When did you expect me to be back?” He asks, cocking an eyebrow.

“Well, I was hoping for never, but I guess I was overshooting.” I answer, not looking up at him. For a short while, neither of us speaks so I take the initiative to start the conversation again. “Why are you here, Clint?”

“What do you mean?” He asks, leaning on the corner of the wall.

“I mean why are you at my workplace? The movies are over.” I say, gesturing to the mess around me. “You could have just waited for me at my apartment. You already know how to get in.”

“Is a man not allowed to visit his friend at work?” He inquires, sarcastically clutching at his heart.

“You know how late it is, and I know that you know that you’re not just any man.” I retort.

“Oh? Then what sort of man am I?”

“You’re an Avenger, Clint.” I say, slamming my broom into the garbage can angrily. “You have to think about the good of the many, and not just what’s good for you. You have responsibilities, and you visiting me at this ungodly hour is not helping you uphold said responsibilities.” I stalk up to him and jab him in the chest with my finger. “You should be more concerned with the people out there than the one person in here. The people out there,” I say, gesturing towards the streets, the volume of my voice rising. “They’re the people who matter. They can’t take care of themselves. If you would focus on them and not on me it’ll be a hell of a lot easier for you guys to move on. Heaven knows it’ll be easier for me.”

“I don’t want to move on, (Y/N)!” Clint cries. “I don’t want to forget you, and don’t want to lose you again!” He places his hands on either side of my face, his eyes boring into mine. “Dammit, (Y/N), I love you. I love you. I can’t give up. Not when you’re right here, and I know you left because of me.”

“Y-you… you what?!” I cry, backing away from him slightly, incapable of believing the words that just came out of his mouth.

“I love you, (Y/F/N)(Y/L/N).” He repeats.

“I heard that,” I pull his hands from my face and back away even further. “What I don’t understand is why you said it.”

“Because I couldn’t stand you not knowing anymore,” He doesn’t move closer to me, sensing that I’m uncomfortable. “And you were right. Last time we talked you said that I didn’t realize what I had until it was gone, and you were right. I took you for granted.”

“Clint I-”

“I don’t care if you don’t feel the same.” He says, cutting me off. He runs a hand through his hair, not meeting my eyes. “I just couldn’t keep from telling you any longer. I just need you to know why I want you to come back. I don’t even care if you do come back to the tower because at this point I just need to know that I won’t lo-”

I cut him off, grabbing the collars of his shirt and jacket and pull him towards me, pressing my lips against his. He freezes up momentarily before one of his hands comes to rest on my waist and the other tangles into the hair at the base of my skull. He kisses me back gently, his lips moulding softly against mine. When I pull away he uses the hand he’s got at the back of my neck to gently pull my face back to his to rest his forehead against mine before letting out a shaky breath.

“You talk too much, Barton.” I say quietly, smoothing down his collars. “I mean, really, too much.”

“I-I...” He stutters, pulling back from me slightly to look me in the eyes. “What was that?”

“I love you too, dumbass.”

“Wait… what?”

“I feel the same way, Clint.” I roll my eyes, a small smile tugging at the corner of my mouth.

“How long?” he asks.

“About ten months if I’m remembering the specific time I realized that I loved you.” I answer.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“Because things always seemed to come up.” I smooth over my hair before continuing. “We’d have to go on a mission, you were off training new recruits, I had stacks upon stacks of paperwork. We were hardly ever in the same room at the same time, and when we were it wasn’t alone. Any other time I just couldn't get up the courage.”

“I had no idea.” He breathes.

“That was kind of the point.” I pull away to go back to my work. “Can we talk about this later? I still have a job to finish up here.”

“Sure, yeah.” He nods, whistling to get Lucky to come back to him. “When… when do you wanna do that?”

“Meet me at my apartment in an hour?”

“Alright, I’ll see you then.” He nods, a bright smile gradually appearing on his face. I nod in return and he waves Lucky over to him and turns to leave. The dog pauses at my side and I scratch him behind the ears before nudging him towards Clint. He only whines in response. “Come on, dog, you'll see her in an hour.” At this he immediately perks up and trots off after Clint.

“That dog.” I whisper to myself before getting right back to work.

I quickly busy myself with sweeping up the popcorn and other debris. When I’m done I gather up the bags of garbage and my things and leave the theater. As soon as I’m out the door I lock up, chuck the trash into the dumpster in the alleyway and head off in the direction of my apartment.

It’s not long till I’m ascending the stairs and unlocking the door. I had expected to see Clint lounging on the couch with Lucky, but I’m met with a completely different sight. Clint is standing just in front of the couch, every part of him is tensed and his eyes are filled with anger. Between Clint and I is a group of people who I hadn’t planned on seeing for a while longer.

“What do you think you’re doing here?” I growl.

-----------------

part 3

Thanks so much for reading! Feedback would be greatly appreciated!

A/N: So, do y’all want part 3? It’s kind of already in the works, so if you guys want it, then I’ll get right on it!

Tag list+ others

“Yes, that seat is taken and no I don’t know any good places to grab food around here.” You said without looking up from your work and scribbled something down in your notebook.

“Good because I don’t mind standing and I I had a big breakfast.” He said, awkwardly standing next to you while you continued to type away.

“Real smooth, Barton.” Nat said as she suppressed her laughter from the control room.

“Shh!” The librarian shushed the two of you.

“Good so you can leave now.” You said tersely, still avoiding his gaze.

“Shhhh!” The librarian hushed you again and she gave you the stink eye over her glasses.

“I could, but where would the fun in that be?” He was leaning on your table and you looked up at him with a look that could have killed him.

“I don’t really care and I’m trying to work here!” Your frustration got the better of you and you almost shouted the words at him.

“Young lady! If you can’t control yourself then you and your boyfriend need to leave, now!” The librarian was kicking you out now and you couldn’t believe it.

“But I-he’s not my-ugh! Fine whatever I’ll go then.” You grabbed your things and hastily shoved them in your bag. You huffed out and hailed a cab only to see your new stalker had followed you out.

“Wanna split a cab?” He asked casually as if the last five minutes hadn’t just happened.

“So you can get me kicked out of that too? No thanks, I’m good.” You deadpanned and started getting into the taxi that pulled up.

“Hey wait up! You left this in there.” He held up a small leather bound notebook. It was about the size of your hand and pretty important.

“Thanks, now if you don’t mind-” You made to snatch it out of his hand, but he pulled it out of your reach at the last minute.

“You gotta let me make it up to you first. How about dinner?” He smirked at you and you would have blown fire out of your ears if it were possible.

“Are you holding my notebook hostage?” You asked incredulously.

“Not necessarily, I would just like to take you out for getting you kicked out.”

“Hey lady, are you in or out?” The cabbie was getting disgruntled and would have sped away if you weren’t already halfway in the cab.

“Yeah, just a sec,” you said to him and looked back to your new friend, “if it means I can get my stuff back then fine. Marty’s on 35th and 6th at seven sharp. Don’t you dare be late.” You gave him one last withering glare before you took off.

“I got her, she shouldn’t be a problem after tonight.” He said into his communicator when your cab had turned the corner.

“We’ll be on standby in case you need backup.” Natasha said.

“No, I can’t go it alone. She won’t put up a fight.”

“I’ve heard that before, but if you insist.”

You pulled out your phone and dialed the number for your commanding officer. It took a ring or two, but she finally picked up.

“Status?” She asked.

“He took the bait. I’m seeing him tonight and I’ll take care of it.” You said with a grin on your face.

“Make sure that you do or they’ll have all our asses.”

“You worry too much. I’m listening in on him right now with the bug I planted in that notebook so there won’t be any surprises.”

“Good, keep me updated and we’ll see you when you get back.” The call ended there and you went back to the apartment you were posted at.

You hardly had time to get briefed on your target when they shipped you out to New York. His name was Clint Barton and he posed a very big threat to Hydra. He was a core member of the Avengers and the people you worked for wanted him dead so they got the best. You lost track of your confirmed kills but they had to be in the hundreds by now. So far, the bug you stuck in the notebook just picked up random chatter, but nothing exciting enough to raise any alarms.

Time slipped by and soon it was time for your “date”. The restaurant you told him to meet you at was a place you’d seen on your drive into the city. People looked happy as they ate and you wanted to be like them so you took advantage of the situation. It was only polite that you let him buy you dinner before you killed him.

At seven o'clock on the dot you meandered into the restaurant. It didn’t take you long to find him sat at a nice secluded table. He waived you over and pulled out your chair for you.

“If you were this much of a gentleman when when we first met it may not have happened the way it did.” You quipped and he let out a lighthearted chuckle.

“But where’s the fun in that?” He said with a glimmer in his eye.

The picture in his file didn’t do him justice. Neither did anything in his file period. It mostly talked about what a deadly marksman he is and his work with S.H.I.E.L.D. but not about his sense of humor. He had you in stitches almost the entire night. You were doing your part and charming him with everything you had. Pretty soon he was eating out of the palm of your hand. It was time to strike and make your next move.

“Do you live around here?” You asked.

“A few blocks down and around the corner, why?” He responded not picking up on your hint. You raised your eyebrow suggestively and nodded to the door. He caught your drift and almost knocked the table over after he slapped some cash down.

You hooked your arm on his as he led you back to his apartment. Once you got in the building and into the elevator you crashed your lips onto his. He responded in kind and soon you were a tangle of arms and legs. The doors opened and you hardly let go of each other as you stumbled into his apartment. You tore his shirt off and his hands roamed your back, looking for a zipper.

That was your opening. He was distracted enough that you were able to activate the poison dart in the ring you were wearing. You twisted it around so the point was sticking out from the inside of your palm. The needle was poised to strike a vein in his neck that would lead to certain death. He kissed your jawbone and at the last second you shifted your finger, causing the dart to hit a less critical point.

His body stopped moving instantly and he dropped to his knees before you. As he collapsed you heard a soft clang and something fell from his hands. You bent over to pick up a syringe filled with a cherry red liquid. Had you hesitated a moment longer, it would have been you on the ground writhing in pain.

“I guess you’re not as dumb as you look.” You said as you looked down your nose at him and twirled the syringe in your hand.

“Y-you knew?” He barely managed to get the words out and he fought with the poison for control of his body.

“Of course I knew, you were my target from the beginning, but if you’re smart you’ll take some iodine to offset the poison.”

“What?”

“I guess I have to do everything myself,” you rummaged through your purse until you found a small pill container where you retrieved two clear liquid caplets and set them on the counter, “take these no later than two minutes after I’ve gone or you’ll die for sure. Hang on a sec, I gotta make it look like you actually had a chance.”

You stabbed the needle in your arm and emptied half of it before throwing it against the wall. Whatever was in that thing wasn’t lethal enough to kill you with just half a dose. It did make you pretty woozy, but you would still be able to make a clean getaway without raising too many eyebrows back at headquarters.

“W-why are y-you doing this?” He didn’t have much time and even though you missed a major vein he had to act quick.

“Let’s just say you struck a chord with me and that could be a good thing or a bad thing, but we’ll deal with that later. Holy shit this hurts, but I’m gonna go and let you live so I hope this makes us even, deal?”

You didn’t wait for a response and you tumbled out the door. The drugs were kicking in and you had to call for backup. You got as far away from his apartment as possible before placing the call.

“I need a medic STAT! I’ve been shot with something lethal and it’s spreading!” You said in your best panicked voice once you were far enough.

“What are you coordinates, Agent Y/L/N?”

“I’m on 39th and 7th!”

“A medical extraction is in place. Stay where you are until they arrive, do you copy?”

“Copy. Over and out.” You slumped to the ground and waited for the medic.

“I just found you and you want me to leave?” He asks, turning on the lamp next to the couch he sitting on.

“Yes,” I answer, unscrewing the cap of my water and flicking it towards his forehead. He catches it before it can make contact. “I left for a reason.”

“A reason you never bothered to give.” He growls, slowly rising from his seat. “I have been looking for you since you left. The team is worried sick. What could have ever possessed you to leave, (Y/N)?”

“Why should I tell you?” I snap. “There’s nothing you can say to make me come back. Just go home, Clint.”

“I’m not leaving without you.” He says, his tone growing steadily more angry. “Nat can’t walk past your room, Steve’s destroyed nearly 100 heavy bags since you left, Banner won’t come out of the lab, Stark seems way guiltier than he usually does and we’re all sleeping fewer hours than we did before you left.”

“You can’t pin all that on me.” I say, slamming my water down on the counter causing some to fly out the top. “It’s not my fault you didn’t realize what you had until you lost if.”

“What? Were you trying to teach us a lesson or something?” He advances on me, getting right up in my face, our noses almost touching. I refuse to be intimidated and I glare up at him, not moving an inch. “That’s messed up, (Y/N). You say it like we disregarded you.”

“Because you did, Clint.” I hiss. “How long did it take you to realize I was gone?” I shove him away from me and he stumbles back, his expression one of shock.

“W-what?” He stammers.

“How long until you realized I was gone?” I ask again, slightly more angry this time. “That I wasn’t coming back. How long, Clint.”

“I-I-”

“That’s what I thought.” I say quietly, walking to the door and opening it. “Just get out.”

“I saw you leave.” He says, his voice hushed.

“No one saw me leave, Clint. No one could have.” I run a shaky hand through my hair. “That’s why I went the way I did. So no one could see me.”

“I know about the passages, dumbass.” He says, his voice more rough. “I knew about them the day after I moved into the tower. Stark basically put them in so I wouldn’t hang out in the ventilation system. I saw you go into the one next to the elevator. The question is, how did you know about them?”

“I found them and went and asked Tony about it. He gave me a map of the system of passages.” I look at the floor, knowing that if I looked him in the eye he could convince me to go back with him.

“That’s why he’s felt so guilty lately…”

“I didn’t want any of this to happen…” I say quietly, tears suddenly springing to my eyes. I cover my eyes and slide down the wall, releasing my grip on the door handle.

“What exactly did you want to happen, (Y/N)?” He asks. I can tell he’s frustrated with me without having to look at him.

“I just wanted to slip away. I didn’t think anyone would notice. It’s not like I contributed anything to the team anyways.” I feel my breath quicken and my heart rate speed up.

“You honestly thought none of us would notice?” His voice softens, but only slightly. “How could you ever think you weren’t important to us? To me?”

“I’m backup, Clint. That’s all I’ve ever been. I was only there in case you were outnumbered. I never did anything.” I rub angrily at the unstoppable flow of water from my eyes. “I went on tons of missions and  only got out of the quinjet twice. Two times in ten months. How would that make you feel?”

“I’m sorry, (Y/N), I had no idea. I’m sorry I didn’t do more, I-”

“There was nothing keeping me there, don’t worry about it.” I say, trying to slow my breathing. A panic attack is the last thing I need right now. “I couldn’t stay and take up space and resources that someone else needed more.”

“We need you to come home. I need you to come back.” He closes the door and slides down the wall next to me. He gently wraps his arm around my shoulders l, pulling me to his side. “I-”

“Don’t.” I say, my tone quiet but firm.

“Don’t what?” He asks.

“Don’t say things you think I want to hear just to make me go back.” I answer, turning my watery eyes to look up at him. My face is probably splotchy, and my eyes puffy and rimmed with red. I don’t care. “I can’t… ” I sigh shakily. “I can’t do this. You can stay till I leave for my next shift, but I’m going to bed.”

“(Y/N)…”

“I’m not going back, Clint.” I breathe, gently removing his arm from my shoulders and standing to go to my bedroom. “I can’t.”

---------------

part 2

Thanks for reading! Feedback would be greatly appreciated!

“There’s also salted caramel and peanut butter in case you want some variety.” You took off the plastic wrap as Clint poured two glasses of milk.

“They smell delicious, but you didn’t have to do any of this.”

“Do what?” You said trying to play dumb, which never worked.

“You know what. I need to deal with it on my own. It’s the only way it’ll get better.” He set the milk down and turned to face you.

“No you don’t, Clint, you have the whole team to help you and you have me.” You looked him right in the eye. “Me of all people know exactly what you’re going through and it’s rough. I don’t want you to have to go it alone, ever.”

“Thanks, Y/N, and when did you find the time to make all of these.” He picked one up and ate half of it in one bite.

“That is top secret information,” you took the plate and made your way to his bedroom, “now grab the milk and get over here.”

He followed you into his room and got under the covers with you. You placed the plate of brownies between the two of you and sat crisscross in his bed. These nightly visits had lessened over time, but sometimes you needed them more than he did.

“What about you, Y/N, you doing any better with the nightmares?” He asked, trying to come off casual.

“Some nights are worse than others, but it hasn’t been the same since Sokovia.” You tried to shrug it off, but he caught the emotion in it.

“I get it, but I’m glad you’re here,” He dunked a brownie in his milk before shoving it in his mouth whole, “like really glad because these are delicious.” You wiped the crumbs that escaped from his mouth off your lap.

“I can see that, but what about you? Are you sure you’re doing alright? I know Sokovia messed you up too.

“I’m fine, it’s been months and I’m doing better than I was.” He said adamantly and you could see he was trying to hide something.

“Clint, you don’t have to lie to me. I’ve seen you around and you either look half dead or tweaked out of your mind.”

“Fury’s got you watching me doesn’t he?”

“No, I’m just worried. I want you to be okay and I know it takes a lot to get there.”

“You don’t have to worry because I’m doing just fine.”

“If that were true then why were you awake at three in the morning to let me feed you brownies?”

“Why were you bringing me brownies to begin with?” He answered your question with one of his own, which had the answer to all along.

“Because I know you better than you know yourself and figured you could use some company.” You shoved a chunk of brownie in his moth for emphasis.

“It’s actually scary how well you know me,” he said with a mouthful of treats, “and it’s definitely helping, I’m sleepier already.”

“Hm? Oh that’s because of the drugs.” You said offhandedly.

“Because of the what now?” He sputtered and tried to choke out the brownies he’d already eaten.

“Don’t worry, Clint, they’re just to help you sleep.”

“Then I…think they're…working…a little…too well.” With every word he slunk farther down in bed and his eyes got heavier and heavier.

“Good because that means you won’t remember this.” You pulled the sheets up to his neck and kissed him softly on the lips. He slept soundly for the rest of the night and you followed suit.

When you woke up the next morning you felt around the bed to find he’d already gotten up. It was about mid morning and Clint was always one to sleep in so you were hoping he’d slept enough to wake up early. Groggily, you made your way to the kitchen area where the team was already having breakfast. Clint was cooking something at the stove and it smelled delicious so you took a seat next to Steve and awaited your meal.

“Good morning, sleepy head,” Steve said as you sat down, “get a good night’s sleep?”

“I know I did.” Clint said from across the kitchen and he gave you a knowing smile.

“Yeah, me too, well better than most at least.” You returned his smile with a secret of your own.

“I bet you’re hungry, so how’s about some breakfast?” Clint held up a plate of French toast and you nodded excitedly.

“Yes please, it smells delicious.” You rubbed your hands and licked your lips as he set the plate down in front of you.

“Sure thing, eat up,” he said and much quieter he whispered in your ear so only you could hear, “and I remember that kiss.”

You turned beet red and widened your eyes at his words. The only thing you gave him was a valerian substance that would put him to sleep and minor short term memory loss is one of the side effects. When you took it the first time you couldn’t remember anything the day of so you figured it would have had the same effect on Clint. Apparently not and now you had that to deal with.