#reader insert marvel fic

“What would you suggest?”

“Literally anything but hiding in our closet.” Johnny grabs Peter’s hand and drags him out of the closet and out into the hallway.

They barely make it to the elevator before they’re caught.

“Stop right there.”

They cringe and slowly turn around to find Sue with her arms crossed.

“Hey, Sue,” Johnny says.

“Don’t ‘hey, Sue’ me. Where do you two think you’re going?”

“Uh… out?” Johnny offers.

She shakes her head. “You’re not going anywhere but down to the lab.”

“Wh-Sue, what are we supposed to do there? Sit around and hope Reed feels bad because he hasn’t made any progress? You know that won’t work.” Johnny looks to Peter for support, but he just shakes his head and shrugs. He doesn’t have any better argument than Johnny does.

Sue scowls. “I’m sure you can figure something out.”

Sue drags Johnny and Peter down to the lab and the boys drag their feet the entire way there. Sue doesn’t see anything. Her anger seems to have dissipated slightly and she seems to recognize that she’s taking her anger out on the wrong people. Regardless, confronting Reed might be easier with back up, so she doesn’t apologize yet.

Right as they approach the doors, they slide open and they’re met by Reed, hair wild and limbs stretched at odd lengths.

“Good, you’re here, I think I’ve found something.” He turns back into the lab without waiting for a response.

Sue immediately follows, but Johnny and Peter wait a moment. They look at each other and Peter shrugs and follows Sue. Johnny is right on his heels.

“What’d you find?” Peter asks. He glances around the lab and notes that Reed has yet to rebuild the transport.

“I believe I’ve located (Y/N)’s energy signature.” He types frantically on the main console, eyes not leaving the display. “I believe I initially ran into difficulties because I cast the net too wide.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning she’s still here.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Johnny asks. “We know, for a fact, she’s not here.”

“Not literally here,” Reed says. “But her signature is still here. In this building. It moves between the floors throughout the day, but it never leaves the building.”

“So she’s in the same location, just in a different dimension?” Sue asks.

“Correct.” Reed finally turns away from his work and back to Sue, Johnny, and Peter.

“So we can get her back,” Peter says.

“I’m not sure yet,” Reed confesses.

Johnny opens his mouth to speak, but just sighs, shakes his head and walks away. 

Peter scowls. “So you’ve just been dicking around down here for two months tracking an energy signature? That’s it?!”

“I can’t bring her back if I don’t pinpoint her location first-”

“You could’ve been building the transport between searches!”

“If I’m dividing my attention between two projects, I can’t ensure the accuracy of either result.”

“You-ugh!” Peter balls his hands into fists. “Now I get why Sue’s always pissed at you these days.”

Reed opens his mouth to retort, but Peter walks off after Johnny. Reed turns to Sue. “Are you going to leave too?”

“I am,” Sue says. “Someone has to take care of our children, and clearly it won’t be you.”

“That’s not fair.”

“No, it’s not. But neither is being the only parent present in their lives.” Sue folds her arms. “You’re the only one who knows how to build this thing, Reed. You can ask for help, but we can’t fix your mistake for you.”

Reed frowns. “I’m trying, Sue.”

“I know.” She sighs. “Start building the transport, Reed. Try not to blow it up this time.”

Sue doesn’t wait for a response and walks away, leaving Reed alone in his lab.

(Y/N) is being dramatic. Realistically, she knows that. And yet, laying on the couch and sighing still feels right because it’s the only thing that’s making her feel better right now.

The two weeks Steve said he’d be away have come and gone without any further communication. Sure, (Y/N) remembers he mentioned they might be gone longer. That doesn’t stop her mind from running wild. Especially with the cliffhanger he left on. Who the hell tells someone they want to talk and just fucks off for two weeks? More than two weeks, actually. Does he just expect her to feel normal about that? After telling her he went out of his way to find her before he left, just to tell her he wanted to talk when he gets back? And what was up with that kiss? Not that she’s complaining, she found it very sweet in the moment. But now she’s left with nothing better to do than overthink.

She supposes she does have other things she could do. Tony supplied her with an overflowing digital library of any and everything she could ever possibly want to read. And she might’ve already read three book series from her childhood just to see if there were any differences between dimensions. And there were, but none that seriously changed the outcome of any of the stories.

She’s tried training on her own, but without Natasha’s guidance she never knows if she’s doing something wrong. If her posture is bad or her form is wrong. She started doing yoga in the mornings with Wanda and Bruce joins them occasionally, and that’s nice, but it only occupies her for an hour or two before the silence becomes too much and she needs a new distraction.

Bruce and Tony don’t have much going on in the lab at the moment, so all she has left is laying on the couch, sighing dramatically in hopes of someone coming by and giving her a project. Or worse, asking her why she’s being so weird.

Wanda pokes her head over the back of the couch. “Your surface thoughts are very loud.”

Startled, (Y/N) yelps and presses one hand to her chest. “Jesus, you startled me!”

“I’m sorry.”

“How do you walk so quietly?”

Wanda shrugs. “Force of habit, I suppose.”

(Y/N) takes a deep breath and slowly sits up. “Could you hear what I was thinking?”

“I could. Your mind isn’t guarded very well.”

(Y/N) frowns. “Is that a bad thing?”

“It depends. But in this instance, no. You are just very transparent about how you feel, so your thoughts are easy to hear.”

“Oh.”

“Steve will be fine,” Wanda says. “He always is.”

“I know.” She pauses. “What I mean is that I know he’ll be okay, but I appreciate the reassurance.”

Wanda chuckles. “I know.”

“Ah, right. I’ve never worked with someone who could read minds before.”

“I try not to. I only said something because you were worried.”

“I appreciate that.”

“I understand why you’d worry, though.”

“You do?”

“You worry that you’re moving too fast. That you won’t be here very long. That you’re getting ahead of yourself. But these are normal things for you to worry about.”

“Even if it’s normal, I still feel weird about it.”

“Because you have nothing to confirm or deny your fears, so there’s nowhere for your energy to go.”

“Oh.” (Y/N) sits up. “That makes sense. Still… I can’t help worrying-”

“That Steve may not feel the same way?” (Y/N) nods. “I’m sure you already know how he feels, but I think you’ll believe it more readily if you hear it from him. Even if I have seen exactly what he thinks of you.”

“I’m almost tempted to ask.” Wanda raises her eyebrows, but (Y/N) just smiles. “Almost.”

“Good choice.”

“Y’know, I’m glad I started doing yoga in the mornings. I don’t think we would’ve spent much time together otherwise.”

“Me too.” Wanda smiles. “I’ve enjoyed getting to know you.”

(Y/N) grins. “The feeling’s mutual.”

Wanda sticks around to chat for a while longer. Eventually Vision floats through and asks for her help on something. Before she leaves, they make plans to watch a movie together later.

Alone again, (Y/N) goes back to her room and spends the rest of the day reading.

“(Y/N), could you join us in the lab?” Tony asks, voice surprisingly clear over the intercom. “We have a surprise for you.”

(Y/N) sets the tablet she was reading on to the side and heads to the lab. Bruce and Tony are there, standing at one of the work tables with a young man between them. He seems comfortable with them and has a familiar mop of mousy brown hair. (Y/N) doesn’t examine why he seems familiar before approaching.

“That was fast,” Tony says.

“You call, I come,” she jokes. “Not like I’m doing much right now anyway.”

Bruce chuckles. “I hear you’ve been reading a lot recently.”

“I’ve been rereading books to see if there are any big differences, but it’s mostly just been hair colors.”

“Huh. Given how similar we are to the Avengers from your dimension, I suppose drastic differences in books would be odd.”

Tony clears his throat and Bruce and (Y/N) immediately turn their attention to him. “On that note, this-” he gestures to the young man beside him- “is Peter.”

(Y/N)’s eyebrows shoot to her hairline. “Parker?”

The young man looks surprised. “You know me?”

She chuckles. “I know someone very similar to you.” Peter cocks his head. “In my dimension, the two of us are best friends.”

He gasps. “You’re the one who appeared in the lab a while back?”

“I am. From what I hear, it was not a pretty sight.”

“Tony wouldn’t let me visit, so I can neither confirm, nor deny.”

“I’m sure I can talk someone into showing me the security tapes or something. But I’ve watched burns heal before. Tony didn’t let you visit for a very good reason.”

“I’ll take your word on that.”

Peter fidgets with his hands the same way her Peter does when he’s not sure how to say something. “You look like you have questions,” she says.

Peter seems surprised. “How’d you know?”

“I know a different version of you.” She gestures to his hands, “He fidgets the same way from time to time.”

“Oh.” His face goes red and he shoves his hands into his pockets. “Are you close with the other me?”

“I am. We met after he moved in with his aunt and uncle. We’ve been practically inseparable ever since.”

“Really? But you’re so much older than me.” Bruce clears his throat and Tony elbows him for his comment. (Y/N) just laughs. “Sorry,” Peter mumbles.

“It’s totally fine. I am older than you, but so is my Peter. He’s working on a doctorate right now.”

“Whoa, really?”

“Yeah, he’s just about done. I think he’ll either graduate this year or early next year.”

“Wow! Would I know this dimension’s version of you?”

“No, it looks like I’m unique to my dimension.”

His shoulders droop slightly. “Aw, okay.”

“And you should know my Peter isn’t a direct look into your future.” Peter looks surprised. “He’s not you and you’re not him. You’re from two totally different worlds and were raised differently.”

“How do you know?”

“Well… My Pete never had your resources when he was your age. Never would’ve worked for Tony. And I have yet to see you credited for any of the pictures of Spider-Man in the Bugle while I’ve been here.”

“That stings, (Y/N),” Tony says.

“Just telling the truth. Peter wasn’t on good terms with my dimension’s Stark when he was younger.”

“Why do I suddenly feel guilty?”

“I think that’s between you and your therapist.”

Peter laughs and Tonly rolls his eyes. (Y/N) can see him smile as he turns away.

Tony and Bruce rope Peter and (Y/N) into helping them with their project of the day. (Y/N) is tasked with sorting through heavy materials while Peter helps with the math and science where he can. Peter occasionally helps move a piece (Y/N) would have issues balancing on her own and takes the opportunity to ask her questions about her Peter. He’s surprise to learn her Peter is dating a man, Johnny, but not disappointed, and concerned when he learns how old May is.

“How can she be that old?”

“Time is a fickle mistress, Pete. It never stops moving. And it hasn’t treated her kindly.”

“I bet he worries about her,” he says, surveying what’s left of (Y/N)’s project. “I know I would.”

“He does. He loves May very much. And he does everything he can to protect her and the people he cares about.”

“Sometimes that’s not enough.”

“No, sometimes it’s not. But that’s why you have friends. People who care about you who you can rely on so you’re not doing everything on your own all the time.”

“How did he learn to ask for help?” Peter asks, voice quiet.

“The hard way. And when that didn’t work, his friends knocked some sense into him.”

He laughs. “Sounds about right.”

“You don’t have to make the same mistakes. You have people here who care about you and want to help however they can.”

“I know.”

“Good.” (Y/N) ruffles his hare and laughs when he tries to bat her hand away.

“(Y/N),” Tony calls. He gestures for her to join him when she looks over. “We have news from Steve.”

“Really?” She stops teasing Peter and rushes over to Tony’s workstation. “What’d he say?”

“Looks like they’ll be gone another two weeks,” he says. “Their lead fell through and they just picked up the trail again today.”

“Well shit.”

“It’s happened before. They’ll pull through just fine. Might even get back earlier than he says they will.” He taps through a couple of menus before going back to his inbox. “Wouldn’t be the first time it’s happened.”

“Okay, thanks for the update,” she mumbles.

“You’re still worried about him?” (Y/N) scowls and Tony gasps in delight. “Don’t tell me-”

“Tony-”

“Do you-”

“Shut up-”

“Have a crush on him?”

(Y/N) sighs and walks back to her project. “Everyone has a crush on him, he’s Captain America.”

“No, this is different.” He follows her and sends Peter to help Bruce along the way. “You’re impatient and you’re worried about him.”

“So?”

“So, something’s going on with you two.”

“There isn’t.”

“Oh really?”

“I’m not talking to you about his if you’re just going to tease me.”

“But it’s so much fun.”

(Y/N) tosses a couple of things onto their respective piles before turning back to him. “Not for me.”

Surprised he says, “So it’s serious then.”

“I don’t know, we haven’t talked about it.”

“But you want to.”

“It seems like he wants to. I don’t fully know what I want yet. But we won’t be talking about it til he gets back, so I have some time to sort out my feelings on the matter.”

“You’re taking this really seriously.”

“Of course I am. I can’t make a decision like this lightly. The fact that this isn’t my dimension is part of what informs how we move forward with whatever we decide-” Tony opens his mouth to speak, but (Y/N) doesn’t let him- “If we even have a decision to make in the first place.”

“Alright. Seems like you’ve really thought this through.”

“I have.”

“I respect that.”

“I should hope so.”

Tony pats her on the shoulder and leaves her to finish her sorting.

Peter heads home around five and Bruce, (Y/N), and Tony all have dinner together. They play card games until Tony loses interest and drifts off to the lab again. Without him, (Y/N) and Bruce talk about books and movies until they notice how dark it’s gotten. They say goodnight and (Y/N) heads to her room to get ready for bed before laying down to read herself to sleep.

She’d finished her last book the night before and is about to look for something new to read when she notices she has an unread message. Swipes away the library list and opens her inbox to find Steve’s name with a bold red three next to it. She doesn’t hesitate to open the messages.

I’m sorry we’re not back yet. The trail went cold and we’re slowly getting back on track

It may be another two weeks, but I can’t be certain.

I’m sorry to leave you on your own for so long. Especially with how our last conversation ended. I’m thinking about you. I miss you. I’ll be back soon.

(Y/N) feels a sudden rush of affection towards Steve. Sure he knew Tony would pass along his update. But he still took the time to message her. To reassure her. Something about that makes her miss him even more while simultaneously putting her mind at ease. She finds it incredibly sweet.

I’m sorry things aren’t going as planned. I appreciate the update though. Hopefully you won’t be gone much longer.

I miss you too. Be careful. Come home soon.

With that, she picks a long book without looking at the title and reads late into the night.

------

Part 10

More from the Reader's original dimension! More interaction with Tony and Bruce! And finally time with Peter! Writing the Reader character with this dimension's Peter was fun. He's so young and she's already seen her Peter grow into his powers, it felt like the perfect opportunity to give him some advice he should've had in the earlier movies.

But! As always, I'd love to hear what you thought of this chapter! Is Reed dragging his feet on purpose? Is Sue being too hard on him? How did you feel about the Reader character meeting baby Peter? What'd you think of Tony teasing the Reader? Do you think the Reader character is too impatient? Be sure to reblog, comment, and/or shoot me an ask and tell me all about it!

Tag List:

@ghostlyhamlet, @claws-of-vibranium, @imagine-assembling-the-avengers, @buckysendoftheline, @ptprocrastination, @1950schick, @amayasymone23, @arfrona-and-marvel, @ek823, @fanaticfangirl001, @furrywerewolfcollector, @kissofvenom922, @dawn-phantomhive, @fangirlwithasweettooth, @mairhof1, @starryeyesbadguys, @trap-house-homiecide, @buckywhite', @kaepm981, @howdoesoneadult, @pcdmesamidala, @thefandomplace, @sian22redux, @skeletoresinthebasement, @lady-thor-foster, @feelmyroarrrr, @jazzcutie, @gaytonystark, @hermionie-is-my-queen, @darling-loki, @geeksareunique, @nyxveracity, @lemonadeorange73, @sad-darksoul, @tofeartheunknown, @queenoftheunderdark, @avengerscompound, @patzammit, @otterlycanadian

This Fic:

"So when are you goin' back to your regular schedule?"

"Dunno." (Y/N) slid her mug to the edge of the table and Angie dutifully filled it to the brim with coffee.

"Was the fight really that bad?"

"Yeah. It was. She was upset that I didn't disclose information that could literally put me in danger."

"Well there has to be a reason."

"I don't know Ange…"

Angie slid into the booth across from her and grabbed her hand. "Peggy doesn't do anything without a reason, right? And it's not like she doesn't know how to keep a secret."

"That's not the point."

"No, I got the point. You're scared and she's poking at things that she doesn't really get."

"I just don't know if she'll ever understand."

"I think she understands more than you give her credit for."

"Did she ever come talk to you?"

"Oh yeah." She widened her eyes and nodded her head dramatically. (Y/N) chuckled. "And boy did we talk."

“I hate the way you said that.”

"Well, she had a bunch of questions. We got pretty in depth."

"Again, that doesn't bode well." She frowned. "What do you mean, 'in depth'?"

"She asked me about how I knew I-" Angie glanced around- "Y'know."

"Uh-huh."

"And then she was curious about all the ins and outs of you-know-what."

"Which you excel in describing."

"Exactly! So it's not like I could leave anything out, it'd be a disservice to our dear Peggy."

"Yeah, sure."

Angie smirked. "You just wanna know if she asked about you."

"I do not!" (Y/N) busied herself stirring nothing into her coffee. "I mean… I might be a little curious-"

"I knew it!"

"Angie, please-"

"Oh, come on, (Y/N), of course she asked about you. It's the first time I knew something about you that she didn't."

"... Right."

"She asked about your past flames, but we met after they'd all come and gone, so I couldn't tell her much."

"Okay-"

"I did tell her you're excellent in bed."

"You didn't."

"Oh I absolutely did." (Y/N) hid her face in her elbow and Angie just squeezed her hand. "Look, I'm pretty sure she likes you. I wouldn't've said anything like that if I wasn't."

"Really?" She peeked over her arm at Angie. "How can you be sure?"

"I have a really good feeling about it."

"This isn't something you can just have a premonition about and be right!"

Angie shrugged. "I don't see why not. I had the same feeling about David, and look where that got me."

"Yeah, with a ring on your finger and a promise of never working again in your life." Finally, (Y/N) stopped sulking and sat up. "How is he, by the way?"

"Oh, y'know. Busy busy busy. But still just as attentive as ever, if you can believe it."

(Y/N) smiled. "Of course I can believe it. You're a catch, Ange."

The diner door opened, followed by a small “Oh.” (Y/N) glanced up, only to find Peggy standing just inside the diner, staring directly at her and Angie. The obvious betrayal on her face confused (Y/N).

“Peggy?”

The sound of (Y/N)’s voice startled Peggy into action and she quickly turned on her heel and darted back out onto the poorly lit sidewalk. (Y/N) wasted no time in shoving herself up from the booth and going after her. It was nearly 10 at night and no matter how highly trained Peggy was, (Y/N) didn’t have a good feeling about her being out there by herself.

By the time she got outside, Peggy was already halfway up the block. (Y/N) raced after her, calling out for her to stop, which only made Peggy walk faster.

“Peggy, stop.”

She’d nearly caught up when Peggy turned down a random alley. (Y/N) just barely managed to grab her arm before she could get too far past the dumpster.

“Let go.”

“No can do, Director.” She pointed to the glow at the end of the alley. “Down there? That’s Curtis. You don’t want to meet Curtis.”

“What’s he done?”

(Y/N) shook her head. “Not sure yet. I just know there’s something off about him.”

“How do you know?”

“Well, for one, only men are allowed to wait on him when he shows up at the diner.”

“I see.” (Y/N) let go of Peggy’s arm and led the way back to the sidewalk. “Well, I’ll let you get back to your date.”

“Is that what this is about?” Peggy simply folded her arms. “Jesus, Peg. Angie’s at work, not to mention engaged. And I never had any interest in her to begin with.”

“You… really?”

“Yeah. I mean, Angie’s great and all, but… no. Not her.”

“Who, then?”

“If you have to ask, then I’m just gonna assume that everything I tell you goes in one ear and out the other.”

“So nothing’s changed?”

“It’s only been a few months.” Peggy scowled and (Y/N) almost laughed. “You really think one argument is going to erase almost a decade of feelings? Do you honestly think I’m that shallow?”

"No! Of course I don't. But I remember how upset you were last time we spoke."

She sighed. "I know you know how frustrating it can be when you're cornered. Those SSR pricks backed you into your fair share of them. And you cornered me. On more than one occasion, might I add."

"Oh." 

"I don't like being laid bare like that. I don't like feeling exposed." (Y/N) shoved her hands into her pockets. “We should probably talk.”

“I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Then let me ask the questions. All you have to do is answer as best you can.”

“All right.” Peggy frowned. “Did you want to talk here?”

“Ah, no. That’s probably not a good idea. Is it okay with you if we go back to the office?” Peggy raised her eyebrows. “I still have some work I need to get done…”

“Then we’ll go to the office.”

(Y/N) shivered. “First we need to go back to the diner. I forgot my coat when I rushed out after you.”

She offered her arm and Peggy placed her hand in the crook of her elbow. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“Didn’t I, though?”

Peggy was quiet for a moment and (Y/N) led them back to the diner. Her grip on (Y/N)’s arm tightened as they got closer.

“I suppose you did,” she said.

(Y/N) simply hummed and opened the door for Peggy to go in first. Angie greeted them when the bell tinkled. (Y/N) gathered her things from the booth and stepped up to the counter to give Angie money for the coffee.

“You know the coffee is free,” Angie admonished.

(Y/N) shook her head and curled Angie’s fingers around the cash. “Your time isn’t.”

Angie sighed. “She doesn’t know how lucky she is.”

“Aw, Ange-”

“I’m serious! I’ve got half a mind to just try to make you my mistress. I mean, David already thinks you’re great. I’m sure we could work something out.”

“You know it’d never last.”

“Aw, why?”

Very seriously, (Y/N) said, “I don’t share.”

In an unexpected turn of events, Angie blushed. (Y/N) winked and Angie laughed and waved her off. Peggy didn’t seem particularly pleased when (Y/N) met her back by the door. She raised her eyebrows and Peggy sighed.

“I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t flirt in front of me.”

“It was banter, Peggy.” Suddenly confident in the face of Peggy’s obvious jealousy, she leaned in close enough that Peggy would be the only one to hear her say, “But I could always flirt with you, if you’d like.”

At that, Peggy grabbed (Y/N)’s hand and dragged her out the door. Nervous laughter threatened to bubble up from her chest, and (Y/N) didn’t know what to expect from that point forward. She wasn’t even sure why she’d said anything to begin with, let alone something suggestive. Maybe it had something to do with Peggy’s reactions. She was normally so calm and in control of herself and her surroundings. But, somehow, (Y/N) had knocked her off kilter, and she didn’t know what to do with that kind of power. She suspected that she was already pushing her limits with that little she’d done.

"What's going through that head of yours?"

"I'm just trying to figure out what's going through your head." Peggy's grip on her hand tightened and she frowned. "Honestly, I barely know what's going on."

"Well, you wanted to talk. So we'll talk."

"We already established that. I guess I just didn't expect you to drag me through the streets of New York beforehand."

Peggy slowed her pace, but her death grip on (Y/N)'s hand didn't let up.

They let themselves into the S.H.I.E.L.D. offices when they arrived and Peggy silently led (Y/N) to her office. She closed the door as soon as (Y/N) was through. (Y/N) opened her mouth to ask a question, but all that came out was a surprised squeak when she found herself pinned to the door by Peggy, who was surprisingly strong in spite of her petite build. She grabbed the collar of (Y/N)'s coat, hauled herself forward, and crushed her lips to (Y/N)'s, as if she'd lose the nerve if she didn't kiss her at that exact moment. (Y/N) made a choked noise akin to a sob at the back of her throat before she could recover from her shock. Peggy softened against her and her hands fell to Peggy's hips. Tentatively, she allowed herself to kiss back before she abruptly pulled away.

She pushed Peggy back and said, "We need to talk."

"(Y/N)-"

"I am dead serious. I can't do-" she gestured wildly- "this if you're not all in. I'm too fucking old to be someone's experiment."

"You're not an experiment."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"(Y/N)," Peggy warned.

"No, it's been three goddamn months. I've more than earned a little foul language. Now, explain."

Peggy's mouth opened and closed soundlessly while she tried to find her words. (Y/N) waited patiently and tried to look as casual as possible while she leaned against the closed door behind her. She didn't know if it was obvious, but it felt as if her heart were beating hard enough to burst from her chest.

"Months ago, before you even left for your assignment with the FBI's team, you asked who the woman was that made me question myself." (Y/N) nodded. "She's you."

(Y/N) pointed at herself and Peggy nodded. "What?"

"It's not as if I intended to make this discovery, but after your birthday I took a step back and looked at myself and the people I've found myself seeking out and finding comfort in over the years and you cropped up the most. And it's not that I'd never encountered lesbians before, but I'd never thought of the possibility of being attracted to men and women. And then you explained how you found yourself admiring women and I realized that my interest wasn't normal."

"Normal?"

"Well… I suppose I thought all women noticed each other. Snuck glances in the locker room and wanted to erm…" Peggy trailed off and shook her head. "That doesn't matter. By the time you'd left on your assignment I'd realized that I had feelings for you, but then we fought after you got back and I was sure I ruined everything and then tonight-and I just-"

(Y/N) placed her hands on Peggy's shoulders, instantly silencing her. "Slow down. You don't have to say everything all at once."

"It feels like I do."

"I know."

"I need to apologize for that night."

(Y/N) nodded. "Yeah, you do."

"I made something that was entirely about your feelings about myself. It was wrong of me and I regretted it as soon as it happened. I'm sorry."

"Thank you." She trailed her hands from Peggy's shoulders, down to her arms, and gently took her hands. "You really have feelings for me?" Peggy nodded. "I-I need to hear you say it."

"I care for you, (Y/N) Rogers." Peggy delicately tucked (Y/N)'s hair behind her ears. "Same as you do for me."

(Y/N) let out a shaking sigh and pressed her forehead to Peggy's.

"Be with me," she murmured.

"Of course I will."

Peggy bumped her nose against (Y/N)'s before she kissed her. (Y/N) didn't hesitate in kissing her back this time and tipped her head to the side, readily opening her mouth under Peggy's and letting her take control.

This kiss was nothing like their first. Instead of force and teeth and searing urgency, it was soft and slow and sweet. It was with great regret that (Y/N) broke it. There was still more that needed to be said.

"I can't be a replacement for Steve," she said. "I'm not him. I can't be him."

"You're not." Peggy gently kissed along her jaw. "You're not-" down (Y/N)'s neck- "you never have been, darling-" before capturing her lips once more. "And I never want you to be."

(Y/N) sighed shakily and gripped Peggy's waist. "I've loved you for so long I-I… I don't think I could take it if you did."

"You say that you love me so easily," Peggy murmured.

"Not really. I'm just allowed to say it now. I'll keep myself in check until you're ready for that sort of thing. Provided you even want it."

"Don't. I quite like hearing it, actually."

"O-oh. Really? It's not too much for you?"

"You keep so much close to your chest. That sort of affection will never be too much for me.”

“Oh.”

“I do have one question, though.”

(Y/N) nodded. “Anything.”

“In my conversation with Angie, she mentioned something about you being, quote, ‘excellent in bed.’” (Y/N) groaned and dropped her head to Peggy’s shoulder. Peggy traced her nails up and down her neck and she shivered. “Care to explain.”

(Y/N) couldn’t help smiling just a little. “Are you jealous?”

“I might be, depending on your answer.”

“Hm, maybe I shouldn’t tell you then.” Peggy dug her nails in and (Y/N) laughed. “No, I’ve never slept with Angie. I already told you I’m not interested in her.”

“So she was lying?”

“Mn, I wouldn’t say that.”

“Then how would she know?”

“Well…”

“(Y/N).”

“She’s the only person I’ve talked to about past encounters-”

“Conquests,” Peggy corrected.

“Whatever you wanna call ‘em, I’ve talked with her about them and she knows I’ve never had any complaints.”

“Oh? That good are you?”

“Curious, are we?” (Y/N) tilted her head to the side so that her lips moved against Peggy’s neck as she spoke.

“Well, it’s not as if I was given any details.” Peggy tipped her head to the side and (Y/N) took it as an invitation to kiss her neck.

“Are you sure you’re ready for that?” (Y/N) pulled away and found Peggy flushed from neck to scalp. “It doesn’t matter how long we’ve known each other. It’s a huge leap from necking in the office to sex.”

“It doesn’t have to be.”

“This is already moving really fast, Peg. And this isn’t me saying that I don’t want to sleep with you, because I really fucking do. But not now, and not here.”

“You’re sure?”

“You already know how I feel about you. This-” she thumbed gentle circles into Peggy’s sides- “is enough.”

“Alright.”

“But it’s not enough for you.” Peggy chewed the inside of her lip in lieu of an answer. “Talk to me.”

“I...” she sighed. “I do want a physical relationship with you.”

“I want that too. And we can absolutely have that. I just…” (Y/N) frowned. “I want to be able to take my time and make you feel good instead of frantically trying to get you off in a dark office.”

Peggy chuckled. "I see your point. But I am ready to move towards that with you, if you are."

“How about this.” (Y/N) wrapped her arms around Peggy and leaned against the door. “Take the rest of the week off, and we’ll spend the weekend upstate.”

Peggy smoothed her hands over (Y/N)’s blouse. “You know I can’t, I’m-”

“The director, yeah. But you’d only be taking Thursday and Friday off, and you haven’t had any time away from work since long before you helped found S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“That’s not entirely true.”

“Really? So your last vacation didn’t turn into a dangerous investigation?”

“Nothing I say will make you forget California, will it?”

“Hell no.”

“Fine.”

“So you’ll come with me?”

"Where would we stay?"

"We'll borrow one of Stark's vacation homes."

"You're sure he has one upstate?"

"Yeah, I heard him talking about a cabin on a lake a while back. In fact-" she disentangled herself from Peggy and crossed the room to her desk. "I'll ask him right now."

She picked up the phone and held the receiver to her ear.

"S.H.I.E.L.D. offices, how may I direct your call?"

"Dana, it's Rogers. I need Stark on the line, now."

"I'm sorry, Agent Rogers, Mr. Stark was very serious about not being disturbed right now."

"It's an emergency."

"Agent Rogers, I can't do that."

"If you put me through, I'll get you off the night shift."

Dana paused at that. "Permanently?"

"I can't promise permanent right now, but you'll get the next month in the daylight and I'll talk to Director Carter in the meantime."

"Are you sure you have that kind of pull?"

"Do we have a deal or not, Richards?"

"Fine."

The line rang through and (Y/N) glanced back to find Peggy looking highly amused. She took a seat on the desk and asked, "What?"

"You know the receptionists names?"

"Oh I absolutely know the receptionists names." She held out her hand and pulled Peggy close as soon as she took it. "Don't be jealous."

Peggy scowled. "I'm not."

"Mm, yeah, sure looks like it." She tilted her head up and kissed her. "You know, Angie joked about making me her mistress."

"You're not doing much to help my jealousy, darling."

"Yeah, well I told her I don't share."

"Ah, greedy, are we?"

"A little. But when I'm committed to someone, that also means I don't share myself with anyone else. And I'm committed to you. Big time."

Peggy bit back her smile. "Oh really?"

"Mhm." (Y/N) was considering kissing Peggy again when someone picked up the phone. She whispered, "I need you to play along."

"What?"

(Y/N) held up one finger and held the phone away from both of them and began to breathe heavily. Distantly, they could hear Howard complaining about having to answer the phone. (Y/N) spoke over him saying, "Did we lose him?"

Peggy raised her eyebrows. “What?”

“Did we lose him, Peg?” she calls. “Can you see him?”

“No, I”m afraid I can’t.”

“Fuck.” She began to pant as she moved the receiver closer to herself. “Howard, are you there?”

“What the fuck is going on there?”

“You still have that place upstate, right?”

“You gotta tell me what the hell is happening first, (Y/N).”

“Peggy ‘n I have been working on a case on the side and we just got made. We need a place to lay low for a few days.”

“What the- you two haven’t talked in months!”

“That’s what we needed you to think.” She looked pointedly at Peggy, silently asking her to add something to the lie.

“(Y/N), we have to go. Do we have the house or not?”

“I don’t know, he hasn’t said.”

“Is that Peggy?” (Y/N) confirmed it was “Put her on”

“We don’t have time, Howard. We need the address and a way to get in. Can we use the house or not?”

“Fine, yeah, fine! You can use the house.” Howard rattled off the address and told them where they could find the key

(Y/N) looked up at Peggy, grinned, and wiggled her eyebrows. “Thanks, you’re our hero right now.”

“(Y/N), we have to go, now!” Peggy cried.

“Shit, sorry, we gotta g-” (Y/N) hung up and tipped her head back and laughed. “And that’s how you trick the great Howard Stark.”

“Won’t he find out?”

“Not if we leave right now.”

(Y/N) grabbed Peggy’s hand and together they hurried out of the building.

Peggy spent the night at (Y/N)’s apartment and they stopped by Peggy’s place early the next morning to pack her things before they caught a taxi to their destination.

The cabin (Y/N) pictured was far from what they drove up to. It was more the size of a family home than an actual cabin. She muttered something about there being “such a thing as too much money.” Peggy simply laughed, took her hand, and led her into the house.

It was warm and inviting inside and far more furnished than (Y/N) had expected. Any time she’d been in a Stark residence previously, it had been far more minimalistic and, well… stark, for lack of a better word. But even just standing in the entryway, she couldn’t think of a better place to spend her first weekend alone with Peggy.

The house was so beautiful that it was almost a shame that the rooms that saw the most use were the kitchen and the bedroom they’d chosen to sleep in. But they spent  the majority of their time wrapped up in each other in one way or another. And, honestly, who could blame them? After years of longing on (Y/N)’s part and months of misunderstandings, they simply wanted to take time away from everyone and everything to relearn each other. By the time they were on their way home, (Y/N) felt they’d done just that. And though, as promised, Peggy had no complaints, she couldn’t help thinking back to (Y/N)’s birthday when she’d said that Peggy didn’t know her as well as she knew Peggy. Sure, Peggy knew important surface level things that anyone close with (Y/N) would know, but she didn’t know the little things that (Y/N) seemed to know about her. She didn’t know her favorite color, which season she liked best, or how she took her tea. Hell, she didn’t know if (Y/N) even liked tea. Maybe she preferred coffee! Worst of all, she didn’t know how or why she started working with the SSR.

So, in an attempt to fill the gaps in her knowledge, Peggy began asking (Y/N) questions whenever she got the chance.

They started out simple. Innocent questions about her favorite sweets and whether she preferred cake or pie. But then she started asking bigger questions. And (Y/N) had already been suspicious of the smaller questions, but when Peggy graduated to asking about foods she’d made with her mother and who she went to prom with, sirens really started going off and she flashed back to months previous when Peggy had asked about liking women. But, she didn’t want to spook her, so she let her ask questions for two weeks before she said anything.

When she was ready, she waited for a night when they were both working late. After everyone had left for the night, (Y/N) let herself into Peggy’s office, locked the door, closed the blinds, and leaned against the door with her arms crossed.

“Okay,” she said. “What’s going on with you?”

“I’m sorry?”

“You keep asking all these questions, and as cute as they are, it’s really starting to worry me.”

Peggy’s eyes went wide. “It is?”

“Baby, the last time you started asking a bunch of questions we fought and then I didn’t see you for three months. Of course I’m worried.”

Peggy pressed one hand to her forehead and leaned back in her chair. "I'm so sorry, darling. I hadn't even thought of that."

(Y/N) swiftly crossed the room and coaxed Peggy to her feet, gently rubbing her thumbs across the backs of her hands. She then traced her fingertips over her cheekbones before tucking Peggy's hair behind her ears, cupping her jaw, and kissing her. Peggy's shoulders relaxed, (Y/N) pulled away, led her to the couch, and sat her down on the middle cushion. (Y/N) sat next to her, body turned towards Peggy so she could hold her hand.

"Talk to me, Peg," she said. "What's going through your head?"

"After our weekend together, I realized that you were right. I don't know you as well as you know me. And of course I panicked and did the first thing I could think of. But all of this is so new to me and I didn’t want to mess things up.” She paused, took a deep breath, and sighed, “I suppose I did in the end though, didn’t it?”

(Y/N) frowned. “Of course not. Why would you say that?”

“I wanted to know more about you, but all I did was worry you.”

“Well you at least got some of the information you wanted, right?” Peggy nodded. “Then it wasn’t a total bust.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.” She kissed Peggy’s knuckles. “I think we need to work on communication moving forward, though.”

Peggy chuckled. “I agree.”

“But in the future, you can ask me about anything you want. Just give me a warning first.”

"I can do that." Peggy pressed her lips together. "There's actually something I'd like to ask you about now, if I could."

"What is it?"

"Well, it's just that I don't know how you came to work for the SSR. You know my path to the agency, but I don't know yours."

"Oh." (Y/N) chuckled. "Okay, well that's an interesting story, actually."

Peggy smiled and scooted closer. "Really?"

"Oh yeah. See, I was working at the same diner that Angie works at now right out of high school-"

"Did you two know each other then?"

"No, but we met because of the diner. But when I was working there, I had this regular who was a P.I. Nice enough guy, didn't cause a fuss if his coffee got cold. Just showed up, ordered, ate, and left. Tipped well, too, if I'm remembering correctly. And maybe six months after he started showing up, he started bringing files with him. Eventually I got curious and asked him what they were for, but instead of just telling me, he opened the file he had that day and handed me a picture."

"Why?"

"He wanted my take on what was happening in the picture. It was of a woman walking down the street with a young boy. She had a duffel bag in hand and was glancing over her shoulder and her jacket was billowing out as she walked. My guess was that she was trying to get away from someone or something and that kid was probably her son. But I didn't give the guy an answer and just handed the picture back and said, y'know, "Look, guy, I don't want any trouble. I shouldn't've asked." But he asked my opinion again. So I gave it to him."

"And?"

"I was right. Turns out her husband had hired the P.I. to follow her and drag her back if necessary. But this guy wasn't that kind of private investigator. When he found out that the husband had laid hands on her, he immediately turned him in and helped her find a place to stay while she got back on her feet."

"What happened after?"

"He had me look at a few other things, tested my deduction skills, and he eventually asked me to come work for him. I quit working at the diner immediately after.”

“Just like that?”

“Mhm.”

“You didn’t even know this man.”

“I knew him well enough. At the time, he was in his late forties and headed towards thirty years married. If anyone would bother me, it wouldn’t be him.”

“You trusted him that easily?”

(Y/N) shrugged. “Alan’s a good guy. And could you really blame me for taking his offer? Between the increase in pay and knowing I’d be doing far more interesting work. I would’ve been an idiot to just walk away.”

“And you liked working with him?”

“Oh absolutely! It was a constant learning opportunity. Kind of like I was being trained specifically for a position with the SSR. And, as it turns out, Alan was actually working with the SSR on the side.” Peggy raised her eyebrows and (Y/N) simply nodded. “He’d get a call and we’d look into whatever it was they couldn’t without turning the wrong heads. He slowly had me take over the SSR calls until it was my job alone.”

“And that’s how you became an agent, then.”

“Eh, not quite. Around the time you were sent to steal Erskine, the SSR was trying to recruit Alan. Something about needing every hand they could get to end the war. He hated the idea of being bossed around, so he recommended me as another option. They refused to meet with me for weeks, so I stopped filling their requests, which pissed them off, obviously.”

“Obviously.”

“They begrudgingly set an interview and wound up hiring me when they realized they could get the same information I’d been gathering without paying Alan’s rates.”

“Ah, so they were being cheap.” Both women laughed. “Wait. How long did you work for Alan?”

“Uh… I wanna say about three or four years.”

“And Steve never knew about it?”

(Y/N) shook her head. “I didn’t tell him or Bucky about it. They already worried about me enough in addition to Steve’s health. They didn’t need anything else added on top.” Peggy frowned and (Y/N) bumped their shoulders together. “But I met you because of that job.”

“That is true… The three of you were so close, though. I hate to think you had to keep your job a secret.”

“With those two, there was a huge difference between keeping something a secret and withholding information until the right time. And that difference was Steve hiding his asthma attacks from us versus me hiding a bad grade.”

“Why would he lie?”

“Steve was sick most of his life. A major side effect of that was him feeling like a waste of money. He hated how expensive medications were, and for a while Bucky was the only one who was able to to work full time. We struggled to make ends meet sometimes and he was far too aware of that. I almost strangled him when I found out.” She leaned back against the couch. “Sorry, that was a lot.”

“No, I understand. You and I come from very different backgrounds.” Peggy squeezed (Y/N)’s hand. “Thank you for telling me.”

“Of course.” (Y/N) sighed. “Sometimes I really miss that skinny little money sink. He’d still be sick, of course, but he’d at least be here.” She shook her head and shoved herself up from the couch. “Let’s get some dinner, yeah?”

Peggy nodded and allowed herself to be pulled to her feet. She kissed (Y/N) and cupped her jaw with one gentle hand.

“I miss him too,” she murmured.

(Y/N) nodded and smiled sadly. “I know, Peg. You’re the only one who understands.”

“Wow.” Steve blinks slowly. “I can’t believe she didn’t tell me about the PI job.”

“Of course you can.”

“Well yeah, I just mean… It sounds like something she would’ve been excited to talk about. I feel bad that my health stood in the way of that.”

“That’s not how she felt, Steve. And she wouldn’t want you to believe she did.”

Steve nods. “She was good, right?”

Peggy smiled. “Oh, without a doubt. She worked more cases solo than I can count and oversaw the intelligence collection division for nearly a decade.”

“That must be why everyone remembers her.”

“Well… not entirely. There was a time when Howard was toying with reviving Project Rebirth. (Y/N) was his first choice for early trials due to her relation to you.”

Steve looks horrified. “She wouldn’t go through with that.”

"I had hoped she wouldn't, but she was determined to. Something about continuing what you started."

"That's never what I wanted." Steve shakes his head. "All I wanted was to keep her and anyone else we could save along the way safe."

"I know. And she had so much of that same fire in her, Steve. You set a wonderful example for her. For all of us, really. Much of what we did wouldn’t have been possible, had you not taken up the shield.”

Steve sighs. “What happened?”

(Y/N) and Peggy had nine months of peace between incidents. They spent any free time that they had together. Finding any was a miracle in and of itself given they might very well have been eternally tethered to their desks. Peggy slowly grew more comfortable in her new relationship, though she slowly learned that she needed to be more cautious than she’d ever been before. Being in a queer relationship was far too similar to an undercover mission for her liking, but she found herself so taken with (Y/N) that she decided that it was worth the risk. (Y/N) had decided years before that she was content with simply yearning from afar, so actually being in a relationship with Peggy was already far enough away from loving her in secret that she was over the moon.

But there’s always something that has to come along and disturb the peace, and more often than not, for (Y/N) and Peggy, that something came in the form of Howard Stark.

Howard was good at showing up at the most inopportune times, mostly when (Y/N) and Peggy had just found a space to be alone at the office. Peggy talked her lover down from strangling the man enough times that it’d gone far past humorous and edged right into grating. When he burst in on them on the couch in her office, she was about ready to end his life herself. (Y/N) had very gently talked her out of it.

But this time was different.

This time he approached with an air of apprehension and both women were almost worried to ask what was on his mind. Luckily, Howard Stark was the kind of man to freely offer that information.

When he saw their raised eyebrows he said, “I kept a vial of Steve’s blood.”

Peggy was furious, to say the least. “You said I had the last one.”

“Wait.” (Y/N) frowned. “You had my brother’s blood and neither of you bothered to tell me?”

"It was years ago," Howard said. "Can we circle back around to this later?"

His flippancy only served to piss her off. "We'll circle back around to fuckall later, you tell me what the hell you, or anyone else for that matter, have or have had my brother's blood for."

Peggy and Howard fumbled through their explanation. She knew that most of the time she spent grieving over Steve was spent in a haze, but she never realized what her colleagues had been going through without her. As much as she wanted to be upset, she found her anger melting away the longer they spoke.

"I should have just told you," Peggy said. "You should've been there with me."

(Y/N) shook her head. "You needed that time to say goodbye to him." She turned her wrath on Howard. "Why do you still have his blood?"

"I found it by chance after we moved into this building. My guess is that it was left over from some tech we hired who’d been hoarding it since they were given their sample. I’ve been holding into it ever since.”

“That was years ago.”

“I know.”

“And you didn’t think to tell anyone?”

“Look, can you reprimand me later? I think I’ve figured out how to recreate Project Rebirth.”

“You what?”

“You heard me.” Howard looked between both women to confirm he had their attention. “The serum is still very much present in the sample I found. If I can isolate it, I should be able to move forward with Erskine’s research.”

Peggy scowled. “Why?”

“Wh-because we had one of the greatest scientific miracles fighting on our side, and even without a war, we still need someone like that fighting for our ideals.”

“That sounds dangerous,” (Y/N) said. “Do you understand how far outside of Steve’s beliefs you’re stepping with this?”

“He’d understand.”

“No he fucking wouldn’t.”

“Fine, but we can’t just not take this opportunity. You know Russia’s probably working towards a viable Super Soldier serum as we speak. Can we really just sit back and wait for them to beat us at our own game?”

“And just who would you propose to test this serum on?” Peggy inquired.

“Well, considering we’re taking the serum directly from Steve’s blood, my first choice would be (Y/N).”

“Me?!”

“Yes, you.”

“Christ, Howard, what’re you thinking?”

“That you’re just as noble and dedicated as your brother. I’m sure the serum would affect you similarly to the way it did Steve.”

“Is it even safe?”

“Hypothetically, yes.”

“Meaning you haven’t extracted enough serum to know yet.”

“Kind of.”

“Very reassuring.”

“But you’ll do it, right?”

“I don’t know-”

Peggy cut in, saying, “No.”

“Peggy-”

“I’m not letting you do this,” Peggy said. “That’s final.”

“That’s not fair. And not even because I want to do this. I’m not all that jazzed about getting stuck with more needles than I have fingers and toes, but because that wasn’t the Director talking. That was Peggy.”

“To hell with being the Director, it’s not safe. You’re not doing it.”

“It wasn’t safe when Steve was the one on the table.”

“We don’t have Erskine.”

“We have Howard.”

Peggy lowered her voice. “I don’t want you to do this.”

“I know.”

“What if it doesn’t work?” Her brows knitted in worry and (Y/N)’s fingers itched with the need to take her hand. “I can’t lose you too, (Y/N). Especially not like this.”

“You won’t,” (Y/N) whispers.

Howard cleared his throat and watched in mild amusement as the two women jumped apart. “As sweet as your bickering is,” he said, “It’s not exactly a matter of whether or not the serum will work, but to what extent.”

Peggy frowned. “Explain.”

“Well, we’re taking the serum directly from her brother’s blood. It’s already diluted in that form, so I can’t tell you just how much change we’d see. I only suggested it because the two of them are related. Their DNA is similar enough that I believe the risk would be significantly reduced.”

Peggy nodded and (Y/N) grabbed her hand and said, “We’ll do it then.”

“(Y/N)-”

She turned pleading eyes on Peggy. “Come on, Peg. You know how much good my brother did. What if this’ll let us pick up where he left off?”

“I don’t know…” Peggy did her best, but couldn’t hold out against (Y/N)’s silent begging and acquiesced. “Fine. You’ll go through with the procedure.”

(Y/N) simply smiled and squeezed Peggy’s hand. Neither of them noticed Howard watching them or the little smile that played at his lips.

“So, when did this happen?” he asked, gesturing between them.

(Y/N)’s smile fell and she dropped Peggy’s hand like a hot iron. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh please, I watched Peggy mope around for months after you started working nights and then you suddenly came back and you’re both happier than ever. Either you did something about those longing glances, or you went on some kind of friend's retreat.” He raised one eyebrow. “That is, if you actually did something about it.”

“We might’ve,” (Y/N) squeaked.

“That’s great!” Howard placed a hand on either of his friend’s shoulders. “Your secret’s safe with me, ladies. I promise.”

Neither of them relaxed, but (Y/N) later mentioned to Peggy that she appreciated the sentiment, especially coming from Howard. He hadn’t even made it a week before he told them he knew they’d lied to him about why they needed his place upstate. So, as much as (Y/N) appreciated the sentiment, she didn’t trust him to keep his mouth shut. Even so, they took it a day at a time and were thankful that he did, in fact, manage to hold in the jokes when they were in mixed company.

Howard came to them three months later with news about his serum. He was ready to go through with the procedure, provided (Y/N) was. They scheduled it for the following Friday to allow time to allocate the necessary resources and avoid another blackout.

When the day of the procedure arrived, (Y/N) was far more calm than she expected to be. Peggy, however, was on the brink of a panic attack. She fussed over her love for the entire morning and refused to go to the observation room, determined to be on the floor if something were to go wrong. Again.

(Y/N) sat on a stool beside the Vita-Ray chamber and watched Peggy pace back and forth while the nurses fussed over her and prepared for the procedure.

“Peg, it’ll be fine.” Peggy didn’t seem to hear her, so she reached out and stopped her. Peggy blinked, slowly registering what was happening. “Hey. Do you want to talk somewhere private?”

“The procedure-”

“Howard.” (Y/N) flagged him down and gestured to the hallway. “We’re gonna be right back, okay?”

He waved her off and (Y/N) led Peggy down the hall to an unused room. With the door firmly closed, she wrapped Peggy up in her arms and leaned against the wall.

“It’s gonna be fine, baby.”

“If you’re wrong, I will kill you.” Peggy buried her face in (Y/N)’s shoulder. “You’re not allowed to leave me.”

“I’m not going anywhere. Guaranteed.” She took Peggy’s face in her hands and kissed her. “I love you. Okay?” Peggy nodded. “Okay.”

Before (Y/N) could pull away, Peggy kissed her. And (Y/N) melted a little, because Peggy very seldom let herself be vulnerable with anyone, let alone in public. So she skimmed her hands up and down Peggy's sides and kissed her for as long as she needed. And when Peggy was ready, they returned to the procedure room. (Y/N) was immunized just as Steve had been, and lay back in the Vita-Ray chamber. She gave Peggy a thumbs up as the chamber doors closed.

The infusion was the most painful thing (Y/N) could remember, and the pain was all she could focus on in the moment. The infusion didn’t take long, but it was loud and bright and white hot and felt like it was everywhere, inside and out of (Y/N)’s body. She bit her tongue bloody to tamp down the scream at the back of her throat as one last surge of searing pain ripped through her. She could faintly hear Peggy shout before everything just… stopped. The sound and the light and the ceaseless, stabbing pain was gone and (Y/N) felt immensely heavy.

As the chamber opened, (Y/N) barely registered the hands helping her into an examination room. She was placed on a table and she clung to the edge so tightly that she heard the metal groan within her grip. Then Peggy appeared directly in front of her and gently uncurled her fingers from the table.

“Please tell me I’m not as big as Steve was,” (Y/N) murmured. Her voice came out strangled and scratchy.

Peggy choked out a laugh and wiped tears from under her eyes before she shook her head. “No, darling, you’re not. Not even close.”

(Y/N) sighed and nodded. “Can I lie down? I feel…” her stomach lurched- “I feel nauseous.”

“Of course. Nurse Cain just needs to take your vitals, and then you can rest. Is that alright?”

She nodded and the nurse’s cold hands worked over her with incredible speed. As soon as she was finished, Peggy reappeared with a pillow, blanket, and chair. She helped (Y/N) lie back and got her comfortable before taking a seat beside her. She held (Y/N)’s hand while she rested.

(Y/N) was held overnight for observation and Peggy stayed with her. Instead of springing back to life as Steve had, (Y/N) spiked a major fever and put the entire staff working that night on red alert when she slept through with only signs of mild discomfort.

Her fever went down around seven the next morning.

Peggy insisted that they take a week away from the office for (Y/N) to recover. She’d done her best to protest, but (Y/N) never really could say no to Peggy, so she agreed.

It took a couple days for (Y/N) to properly regain her balance. When she finally managed to hobble to the bathroom to get a look at herself, she barely recognized the woman in the mirror. The person staring back at her was a good three inches taller and broader in the shoulders than (Y/N) had ever dreamed of being. Her eyes very nearly popped out of her head at the way the fabric of her shirt strained across her chest when she stood up straight and proper.

She flexed one arm and, fascinated, watched the way muscles she was never aware of having bunched and moved beneath her skin. She did it again and watched herself in the mirror.

“Christ, that’s impressive.”

“Yes, you certainly are.”

(Y/N) looked up and Peggy was leaning against the bathroom door frame. She turned and leaned against the sink.

“I didn’t hear you come in.”

“I was quiet.” Peggy slowly approached and trailed her fingers over (Y/N)’s jaw, down her neck, shoulder, and arm. “It’s good to see you moving around.”

“Well I can’t exactly get back to work if I lay in bed all day, now can I?”

“I suppose not. But I won’t allow you back into the office till next week at the earliest.”

(Y/N) nodded. “Okay.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm. I’m lucky to be upright at the moment, I’m not eager to keel over on my first day back.”

“Oh. Okay.” Peggy smiled. “You’re actually going to listen to me?”

“I always listen to you. Whether or not I do as I’m told is an entirely different issue.”

“Mm, I’ll keep that in mind. Maybe expect more strict instructions with future assignments.”

“Can we talk about something other than work?”

“Of course.”

“Good.” She bit her lip and grabbed Peggy’s hand. “You really think I look impressive?”

“I think that you in your entirety are impressive. But you certainly strike an imposing figure now.” Her eyes roved appreciatively over (Y/N)’s body. “And you did say you always wanted to be strong, dreamy, and capable. Now you’re all three.”

(Y/N) pulled Peggy to her chest and circled her arms around her waist. “And I wasn’t before?”

“You were, but in varying degrees.”

“Oh?”

“Well you’re certainly stronger now. You were already incredibly dreamy and far more capable than any man would freely admit.” Peggy braced herself on (Y/N)’s shoulders. “I’m glad you’re mine, though. I’d be scared to send you back out into the wild if you weren’t.”

(Y/N)’s heart fluttered. “I love you.”

Peggy smiled. “I love you too.”

“You do?”

Peggy nodded and (Y/N) immediately kissed her. Peggy wound her fingers into (Y/N)’s hair and kissed her back. When they broke apart, foreheads pressed together, (Y/N) very quietly asked Peggy to move in with her.

“You want that?”

“Desperately.” Peggy raised her eyebrows. “We don’t have to live here, specifically. My lease is up at the end of this year. We can look for a little two bedroom, or-or a house, maybe. If you wanted.”

“You’d want to buy a house together? That’s a huge commitment, darling.”

“You’re it for me, Peg. There’s no one who comes after you. Building a home with you would be a dream come true. But if that’s too much-”

Peggy covered (Y/N)’s mouth with one hand. “I’d love to live with you. But we have to worry about your health first.”

“Okay.” (Y/N) sighed. “I’ll have to get a whole new wardrobe, won’t I?”

Peggy chuckled at (Y/N)’s disappointed frown. “Most likely, yes.”

(Y/N) groaned. “I didn’t think this through.”

“It’s an expense necessitated by work. The agency will cover half.”

“Really?”

“Well I can’t offer to pay for the whole thing. Someone will think I’m playing favorites.”

“Wouldn’t want anyone stumbling into that secret, now would we?”

(Y/N) spent the rest of the week acclimating to her new body. Peggy was a great help in reminding her to be patient with herself after she crushed several eggs before she could even crack them into a bowl.

When she was finally permitted to go back to work, she spent more time in the gym under Howard’s observation than in her own office. Which was fine by her. She was stuck wearing second-hand men’s suits, t-shirts, and sweatpants until her new clothing was ready. Even when she was wearing her own clothing, the atmosphere in the office was uncomfortable. People would stop mid-conversation to watch her walk by. She even saw someone walk into a wall once. It felt like she’d be transported back to Steve’s death, but this time everyone who stared was too scared to ask questions.

(Y/N) realized, too late, that she hadn’t thought about what would happen after the procedure. She knew there would be tests and all manner of questions from Howard and his team. She hadn’t anticipated the social repercussions. Steve hadn’t been looked at like a freak, so why would it be any different for her? But feeling their eyes on her back day in and day out just made her want to hide. (Y/N) tried to distract herself from all of it, but Peggy was watching. She’d seen everything and hated the way (Y/N) retreated into herself with each passing week.

Peggy took matters into her own hands and organized a meeting with everyone (Y/N) regularly came into contact with during the work week. (Y/N) only heard about the meeting after it happened. She never knew what was said. Just that anyone who made it out of the meeting with their job changed their behavior dramatically. The staring and hushed whispered went away and the colleagues who were obviously still curious were far more willing to ask their questions instead of obviously watching her from behind a file.

Once Howard was satisfied with the data gathered on her physical abilities, (Y/N) was cleared for field work. Peggy assigned her to assist the head of their intelligence task-force and she was given the cases that a normal team couldn’t handle. The ones that required the strength of multiple men, but boasted too much security for that to be feasible. The assignments were rate, but (Y/N) enjoyed them regardless.

“Did you ever move in together?”

“Oh yes, two months after the procedure. She was just as fond of getting into trouble as you are. At least I could keep an eye on her if we were under the same roof. And we wound up buying a house several years down the road once we’d settled on a permanent headquarters. I didn’t see any reason to waste money on more than one house, if we could help it.”

Steve smiles. “I’m glad you found each other. I know you would’ve been fine. People are drawn to you. But (Y/N)… she never did well on her own, but never wanted to ask for help. I’m not sure what would’ve happened to her.”

“I’m sure we would have found each other eventually. Life has a funny way of bringing people together.”

“Will you tell me what happened to her?”

Peggy reaches out and Steve takes her hand. “I want you to remember that (Y/N) and I had almost six decades together. She was beautiful, strong, warm, and vibrant. She was my everything, Steve.”

“I know, Peg.”

“She started feeling lethargic one day. Over the course of several weeks, she lost her appetite, had severe blood pressure drops, and she bruised like an overripe peach. Now, by this time her healing factor had faded some, but she’d never been prone to injury even before the serum. I was concerned, but she didn’t want to worry me, so she didn’t see a doctor. But then she had a particularly nasty fall and was rushed to the hospital.” Peggy’s breath shook. “I told the attending about her recent issues, they ordered some tests and the diagnosis was… less than desirable.”

“What was it?”

“She had leukemia.” Steve flounders for something to say, but Peggy doesn’t seem to notice. “We started aggressive treatment right away, but this was right around the time that Anthony was abducted. The stress took a lot out of her, but she was determined to see her nephew again.”

“Nephew?”

“Yes, Howard named us Tony’s godparents. He called both (Y/N) and I his aunts. And (Y/N) loved him dearly. She managed to hold on long enough for him to visit one last time before she passed.” Peggy smiles. “She was so happy to see him, too.”

“I never would’ve guessed.”

“Mm, she was also far more lucid than anyone in her condition had any business being. At the time, I chalked it up to you Rogers’ and your unfailing stubbornness, but now I think it was just her. With her strength gone, all she had left was her mind.”

“Did she pass peacefully?”

“Yes. Yes, I think she did. There was a time where she thought you and Sergeant Barnes were there with her. That was when I knew she didn’t have much longer. And just before she faded, she told me that you had stepped out and she said… she said “Tell my brothers I love them.” And then-” Peggy shakes her head, her gaze distant- “She was gone. Quiet and peaceful and gone.”

“I’m sorry.” Steve wipes tears from his eyes.

“Oh don’t be. She was perfect. I only wish you’d had more time to spend together.”

Steve squeezes her hand. “It wouldn’t have been the same if I was there. And some things really do happen for a reason, y’know? We just don’t know it till we’re far enough down the line to see the whole picture.”

A knock at the door draws both Steve and Peggy’s attention. The nurse from earlier pokes their head in.

“Sorry to interrupt,” they say. “But visiting hours are over.”

“Alright.” Steve smiles at Peggy, squeezes her hand, and gets up to leave.

Before he can get too far, Peggy exclaims, “Oh, Steve!”

“Yeah?”

“Before I forget, (Y/N) left something for you.”

“For me?” Steve suspects her lucidity is slipping.

“She had a feeling you weren’t truly gone. She’d done some research and compiled it for you. Director Fury should have it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Quite.”

“Okay.” Steve steps toward the door. “I’ll see you again soon, alright?”

“Of course.”

Yeah, this is definitely the gayest thing I’ve ever written. In the best way possible, of course. It’s been a lot of fun to explore this side of attraction and romance for me (as someone who doesn’t really get to do that) and I’m really excited to get started on the third chapter. It’ll be a bit different from the story that’s been told up until this point, so I think it’ll be a fun departure.

But! That being said, I’d love to know what you thought of this chapter! Do you think that the Reader and Peggy make a good pair? Do you think that it was a mistake for the Reader to take the Serum? Did hearing about her passing make you sad? Do you think it was a good thing that Peggy was the one to talk to him about it? Be sure to like, reblog, comment, and/or shoot me an ask and tell me all about it!

Tag List:

@ghostlyhamlet, @claws-of-vibranium, @creaturefeatures101-blog, @imagine-assembling-the-avengers, @buckysendoftheline, @ptprocrastination, @1950schick, @amayasymone23, @arfrona-and-marvel, @ek823, @fanaticfangirl001, @furrywerewolfcollector, @kissofvenom922, @dawn-phantomhive, @fangirlwithasweettooth, @mairhof1, @starryeyesbadguys, @trap-house-homiecide, @buckywhitewolfbarnes, @kaepm981, @howdoesoneadult, @pcdmesamidala, @thefandomplace, @sian22redux, @skeletoresinthebasement, @lady-thor-foster, @feelmyroarrrr, @jazzcutie, @gaytonystark, @hermionie-is-my-queen, @darling-loki, @geeksareunique, @nyxveracity, @lemonadeorange73, @princess-unicorn124, @tofeartheunknown, @queenoftheunderdark, @avengerscompound

This fic:

"It's been a long time," she says.

"It has," Steve agrees.

"Won't you have a seat?"

He nods and drags a chair to her bedside and sets the bouquet on the nightstand before he sits. Peggy watches him fiddle with his hands in his lap and almost wishes she could reach over and stop him. Almost. Watching him fidget, though, it nearly feels as if her love is with her again. They had so many similar ticks and habits. She closes her eyes as a pang of loneliness lances through her heart.

"I'm sorry it took so long for me to visit," Steve finally says, cutting through the silence.

"It's fine, Steve," Peggy says, "I know how busy you've been."

"No one told me you were still alive." Steve shakes his head and stares at his clasped hands. "When Tony asked if I'd seen you, I think I was just about ready to tear off Fury's head."

"Whatever for?"

"Well, for one, he didn't mention you, but he told me my sister'd died almost as soon as I woke up."

Peggy nods. "I'm afraid we lost her not too long ago. The wounds are still…" she trails off, tears stinging at her eyes. "They're still quite fresh."

"When?"

"Two thousand and nine."

Steve closes his eyes, his lips wobbling, and holds his head in his hands. "Did she have a good life?"

"She did." She wipes away a rogue tear and presses one hand to her chest. Her heart beats erratically. She hates thinking about this. "I'd like to think she was very happy. Even in the end."

“Were you… were you close?”

“We were.”

"Will you tell me about her?" Peggy opens her mouth to protest, but Steve scoots his chair closer and takes her hand. "Please, Peggy. I didn't get to live my life and I missed every second of hers. Please."

She nods solemnly. "I'll tell you what I remember."

Tears well in Steve's eyes, but he smiles. "Thank you."

Peggy remembers the first time she laid eyes on (Y/N) Rogers. It was right before she was due to leave to relieve Hydra of Dr. Erskine, and this new woman had almost been lost in the shuffle.

Some SSR official swept up with (Y/N) under his arm and brusquely introduced them. The two women shook hands and she gave Peggy a weak smile before she was ushered away to meet yet another blurry face in a crowd of incomprehensible noise. Peggy almost felt bad for her, but she knew what it was like on her first day. (Y/N) would adjust sooner or later. She had to, if she wanted to stay in this line of work.

When she returned, she found that (Y/N) had not only adjusted to life with the SSR, but excelled. Nothing seemed to slip past her, and Peggy noticed more than one operative sneaking away from their CO to ask her about something important they'd forgotten. (Y/N) would rattle off the information they needed, they'd slip her a fiver, and be on their way. When Peggy brought it up with her, she just laughed and just said her brain held onto things.

"Like a photographic memory?"

"Almost," (Y/N) said, "but not quite. My brother has an eidetic memory, though, and I picked up a few tricks from him."

"Huh." Peggy took a seat beside her and leaned on the desk. "Do you think you could teach me?"

(Y/N) rested her chin in her hand. "It'll cost you."

"What's your price?"

"I haven't decided yet."

"But you'll do it?"

She grinned. "Of course I will."

"Thank you. I truly appreciate it.

"Don't mention it." (Y/N) looked Peggy over and her smile softened. “And don’t worry about the payment.”

“Why?”

(Y/N) shoved herself up from the desk and gathered her files. “It won’t be embarrassing or expensive.”

“Oh? Have you already decided?”

"As a matter of fact, I have."

With that, she tucked her files under her arm and walked off. Peggy scrambled up from her seat and followed her off down the hall.

"What exactly is it that you'd have me do, Agent Rogers?"

"I'm so glad you asked, Agent Carter." (Y/N) glanced at her sidelong and didn't slow her pace for even a millisecond. "I want you to buy me a drink."

 Perplexed, Peggy said, "That's it?"

"That's it," (Y/N) affirmed.

"That hardly seems a fair price."

(Y/N) just shrugs. "Guess that's for me to decide though, isn't it?"

"I-well, yes, I suppose it is."

"Great! Then it's settled. I'll teach you my tricks and you'll buy me a drink at the end of the month." She sharply turned a corner and said, "Lovely talking with you, Peggy," and disappeared.

Peggy stopped in her tracks, hands on her hips, half perplexed, half looking forward to the end of the month.

"So you were friends with her before you even met me?"

"I was." Peggy smiles. "Your sister was an amazing woman, Steve. The two of you were so similar sometimes, it was like I already knew you when we'd met."

"Really?" Steve chuckles. "I guess we did spend a lot of time together after our ma passed away."

"Death tends to bring people closer. (Y/N) and I weren’t particularly close before yours, but everything shifted once we returned to the states. I had no friends, and your sister didn’t really have anyone left without you and Sergeant Barnes. I did what I could to keep her company, but we were placed in different divisions of the SSR." 

“Oh.”

“Work kept her busy. But-”

“She had a habit of distancing herself when things got overwhelming. Happened after dad died, and it was worse after ma. When she bounced back, I didn’t know what it was, but looking back, she’d probably just started at the SSR.”

“You think so?”

Steve shrugs. “Maybe. It was probably a year later that Erskine found me. I didn’t know what she was doing for work between then.”

“Then you could very well be right. But for quite some time, work was all she had left.”

As soon as they lost the radio connection to the Valkyrie, (Y/N) shut down. Peggy cried enough for the both of them in that communications room and (Y/N) held her through most of it, unable to believe that Steve was gone. She couldn’t sleep that night and only dozed on and off for a solid month afterward.

Everyone mourns differently, of course, but (Y/N) was just… numb. First Bucky, and now with Steve gone, the only person she had left was Peggy, who couldn’t give her the kind of comfort that she wanted. She couldn’t even ask for it without risk of damaging their friendship or, worse, losing her forever. So, when she got back to the states, she threw herself into her work.

She’d been reassigned and now worked in the research division. Not that she cared, really, she much preferred being somewhere that her brothers adoring fans either couldn’t or didn’t want to get to her. It was bad enough that she’d lost him, but being known solely as Captain America’s sister wasn’t exactly something that made her want to come into the office every day. Even so, the number of men who asked “what was he like?” and “did he really die?” was still far too high. It grew to be enough of a distraction that her boss moved her to a secluded office at the back of the archives. She knew it was because he felt she was a distraction rather than them distracting her, but she enjoyed the privacy. Still, the looks of pity and gentle hands on her shoulder coupled with a quiet “I’m sorry for your loss” she received on the way into work every day were constant and showed no signs of stopping six months in. It seemed like every new recruit somehow found out who she was and sought her out just to tell her.

As the year after Steve's death wore on, (Y/N) grew more and more detached from work and the people around her. Each time she looked in the mirror her skin seemed more sallow and it was clear that she was, however unintentionally, losing weight. She was grieving, of course, but she'd never lost herself so fully in it. If she'd been honest with herself at the time, she'd have said she was scared of the person looking back at her, and she saw the heartbreak on Peggy's face each time they were together. She understood, to some extent, what (Y/N) was going through, having lost her brother herself, but Peggy had people to help her through. Hell, she still had people to help her through this loss, even with her family across the ocean. With both Steve and Bucky gone, (Y/N) was completely alone. Add the publicity surrounding her brother’s death to all of that and she was sure she was in for a full mental breakdown before the year was out. She knew Peggy wanted to help, but it felt wrong to accept anything from her. Seeing her, as infrequently as she did, helped enormously, not that Peggy knew that.

But Peggy did pick up on one thing; (Y/N) Rogers liked spending time with her. And the one thing (Y/N) had to look forward to was sporadic lunches with her. Sometimes they'd be weekly, sometimes they wouldn't see each other for more than a month. (Y/N) couldn't blame Peggy for the lack of planning. Much like Steve, she had a habit of getting herself into trouble. (Y/N) couldn't bring herself to get involved with her cases past offering very basic research assistance, so she never really knew what was going on. All she knew was that Howard Stark managed to crop up in the middle of things a hell of a lot more than he ought to.

Knowing what Peggy was up to when they weren't together made the time (Y/N) had with her that much more precious. She knew she was taking on important cases and forming strong relationships outside of theirs. She was closer with Howard than ever, and with Mr. Jarvis, and Angie in the picture, sometimes it felt like she was just wasting Peggy's time. Gossip of her relationship with Agent Sousa had managed to reach (Y/N), even in her dark little corner. She was jealous, of course, but she wanted Peggy to be happy. She'd spoken with Sousa on several occasions when he was forced down to her department during a case. She couldn't really fault Peggy on her choice. He was handsome and seemed like a nice enough guy. Mostly she just wondered if the archive rats really had nothing better to do than whisper about people they don't even know. But knowing that Peggy had someone so important to her made (Y/N) feel even worse about taking up her time.

That didn't mean she was any less happy to see her each and every time she breezed into her office and dragged her off to lunch.

This time when the door to her office opened, (Y/N) pulled herself away from her research to investigate who it was. She perked up when she saw Peggy in the doorway.

"Are we going to lunch today?" she asked.

Peggy nodded. "If you're free, that is."

"In this department, if there's ever a time that I'm not free I'm probably dead."

"Oh, don't say that. It's dreadfully dark."

(Y/N) hummed. "I'm afraid my sense of humor has taken a turn recently, I'm sorry."

"I suppose I can't really fault you for that." She stepped into the office and settled against a bookshelf piled precariously high with files and loose paper. "Has Agent Thomas stopped bothering you about your brother?"

"Not yet. But I think he's moved on to trying to ask me on a date." (Y/N) shuddered and clicked off the desk lamp. "I don't want one of Captain America's weasle-y little fanboys hanging around longer than they absolutely have to."

"Which would ideally be not at all."

"Exactly." She leaned back and sighed. "Sorry, that's not what you came here for."

"Well, I don't know if I'd say that. I came for you, and this is part of you."

(Y/N)'s face flushed with heat and she busied herself with collecting her purse and coat. "Still, it's inconsequential. You don't have to worry about it."

"Maybe not," she said. She turned and stepped out into the archives when it appeared (Y/N) was ready to go. "But I'm still going to worry plenty about you."

"Come on, Peg. How many times have I told you? I'm fine."

"You're not fine. But I'll allow you to continue lying to me until I believe you."

She shook her head and gestured for Peggy to lead the way out of the archives. (Y/N) trailed along behind her friend, head down, in an attempt to avoid her colleagues. It worked, for the most part, and they escaped to the diner without incident. They sat opposite each other in the booth and pretended to look at their menus as if they weren't going to order the same meals they always did.

They sat and talked about work until their food came. Peggy was working on something boring with Sousa, and (Y/N) on something dreadfully more so in the belly of the SSR. Peggy laughed when she told her about Agent Thomas’ last pitiful attempt to engage her in conversation. He’d walked up, wringing his hands like a fly on a windowsill, and trembled out something along the lines of “Lovely day, isn’t it?” and (Y/N) said something to the effect of “Wouldn’t know, the archive doesn’t have windows.”

“You’re a crackup, (Y/N). I hope you know that.”

“Mm, yeah, I had to be when I was a kid because being a, quote, “bright girl” didn’t really get me anywhere.” She sighed and poked at her meatloaf. "Not that it's gotten me much further in the SSR."

"I actually wanted to talk to you about that." 

"Oh?"

Peggy leaned across the table and, sensing the conspiratorial change in conversation, (Y/N) followed suit. "I have a proposition for you."

"Is this a secret?"

"Of a sort, yes."

She tilted her head to the side. "What is it?"

"I've been chosen as the co-head of a new agency. I want you to go with me."

"You want me?" Peggy nodded and (Y/N) frowned. "But I work in the archives."

"That doesn't make you any less valuable or skilled." Peggy paused a moment. "Do you want to work in the archives?"

"Well I don't hate it. I just don't know why you'd want me to work for you."

"You'd be working with me, (Y/N). None of this 'for' business." Peggy covers (Y/N)'s left hand with hers. "We worked so well together during the war. I know we'd make a great team now."

Her knee-jerk reaction was to say no, simply because it was Peggy asking. As it was, she felt like she already embarrassed herself around her enough. She was sure working with her would just make it worse. More than that, she didn’t want this job simply because of Steve. His legacy had followed her through her career, never mind the fact that she was with the SSR before Captain America even came to be. There were more than a few whispers around the office that she’d only been kept on because of her ties to him. But she knew this was the case for Peggy too. Which led her to think about where she stood with the agency. Her boss already thought of her as a distraction to the rest of his men and sequestered her to the very back of the archives. She was mostly stuck with the jobs no one wanted and everyone's backlog at the end of the day, simply because they didn't want to do it and assumed she would. She'd been demoted and belittled and pushed around since the war ended. And she was tired. Tired of the job and tired of putting up with the way she was treated.

"I'll do it," she said.

"Wonderful-"

"On one condition."

"Name it."

"You hire Rose Roberts."

“Rose?”

“Yeah, the woman who’s been working front desk security for the last two years. She should have the same opportunity.”

 “Of course.” Peggy shook her head. “Of course she does. I suppose I expected that you’d ask for a corner office, or something along those lines.”

(Y/N) almost laughed. “That’s not important to me. You’re building something from the ground up. That means you need people that you can trust, and that won’t be the idiots with the SSR.”

Peggy smiled and squeezed (Y/N)’s hand. “I almost hate that you always have someone else’s wellbeing in mind.”

Force of habit, (Y/N) thought. Too many years with a sick brother and no one to take care of him properly meant she was inclined to worry about others more than herself sometimes. Peggy was no exception.

Peggy moved into her line of sight and asked, “So, you’ll do it?”

“Of course I will.” (Y/N) smiled and Peggy squeezed her hand again. “Can’t say no to you, now can I?”

The SSR didn’t take losing three of their best agents lightly. Not that Rose, Peggy, or (Y/N) were well taken care of or appreciated when they were with the agency. The SSR just didn't want anyone else playing with their toys. At best, they were cold, at worst they outright accused Stark and Colonel Phillips of poaching their operatives and actively tried to stop anyone from defecting to S.H.I.E.L.D.. This, however, didn’t do a damn thing to slow down Peggy and her team. (Y/N) immediately dove into casework. She was finally working somewhere she wasn’t a spectacle for her colleagues to gawk at. Instead she was, for the most part, seen as an equal rather than a nuisance. She wasn’t secluded to the deepest darkest corner of headquarters, and she wasn’t stuck with the jobs no one wanted to do.

Rose worked closely with Peggy as her secretary, but (Y/N) was occasionally allowed to borrow her for field work. Most of the time, though, she’d leave on her own and come back bright eyed, but scraped up and bruised. Peggy would worry over her, but (Y/N) would just wave her off and shut herself in her office to finish her reports. Eventually Peggy would let herself in, bearing gifts of food, tea, and a first aid kit.

“You know you don’t have to patch me up, Peg.” (Y/N) tried to pull her hand away, but Peggy’s grip just tightened around her fingers. “You’re the director. You have better things to do than worry about me.”

“You don’t take care of yourself in the field. Someone has to make sure you get home in one piece.”

“And you do a wonderful job, but I can stick my own bandaids on.”

"If only you could be trusted to do so."

Peggy muttered something about (Y/N) and Steve being "far too similar" and (Y/N) just laughed. "We practically raised each other. Of course we're alike."

"I just worry about you." Peggy pressed an antiseptic soaked cotton pad to (Y/N)'s scraped knuckle and cringed at the resulting hiss of pain. "You've gone from archival work to almost full time in the field. More than that, you always come back bloodied in one manner or another."

"But I'm happy." (Y/N) tilted her head to the side in an attempt to catch Peggy's eye. "I'm doing a job that I'm proud of and I haven't been this happy since…" she trailed off at the feeling of tears welling in her eyes. She sighed and shook her head. "Isn't that the important part? That I can stand to come to work every day?"

“Of course that’s important.”

She didn't say anything further, but (Y/N) watched Peggy's jaw clench. And thought about how she wanted to push back harder. To continue barrelling down the path she'd chosen. But the last eight months of freedom meant nothing if she lost Peggy in the process. Instead of fighting, she plucked the cotton pad from between Peggy’s fingers, set it to the side, and enveloped the woman’s hands in both of hers.

“I’ll be more careful.”

Peggy didn’t look at her. “Thank you.”

(Y/N) almost laughed. “Don’t thank me. I’ve been reckless.”

Peggy did laugh. “Yes, you have been.”

“After I’m done with this assignment, I’ll do whatever you want. Someone else can take over the field work until you’re comfortable with me going back.”

“And if I never am?” (Y/N) opened her mouth to answer, but couldn’t find the words. Peggy looked her directly in the eyes. “What would you do?”

“I don’t know.”

"Would you leave S.H.I.E.L.D.?"

"Where would I go?" Peggy began to answer, but (Y/N) cut her off. "No, I mean, what other agency would take me? There's nowhere else I could work." She dropped Peggy's hand and began pacing the office. "I guess I wouldn't leave. I can't. If you never let me go back to field work, I… I'd be disappointed, obviously, but I'd have to respect your decision. And I would respect your decision."

"Good-"

"But I'd wonder if you actually trust me."

"Of course I trust you. I just…"

"Yeah, you worry, but I worry about you too. Every single day at the SSR, I'd hear everyone else talking about the things you were getting into and the people who were after you after everything happened."

"(Y/N)-"

"I mean Christ, Peg, you were impaled and I didn't even hear about it from you!"

"I didn't know that had gotten back to you."

"Well it did. And I didn't say anything because I didn't want to get in the way of doing your job." She dragged her fingers through her hair and stopped to stare out the window. "And I'm not saying this because you shouldn't bring it up with me, because you're my boss and you have to. But I need you to understand that I know exactly how you feel. I know what it's like to see the aftermath and not know what happened till you read the mission report. And I know better than anyone what it's like when someone important to you doesn't make it back."

She muttered something like "Good going, Rogers," under her breath and grabbed her coat and purse from the rack near the door. Peggy stood abruptly and (Y/N) stopped to hear what she had to say.

"I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry." (Y/N) shook her head. "I need to go home for the day."

"(Y/N)..."

"I'll be in early tomorrow. You'll have the report on your desk when you come in."

"She left? Just like that?"

"She wanted to leave before she said something she regretted." Peggy can't help laughing at Steve's expression. The deep furrow between his brows just gets deeper as he listens. "It was the first of the few fights she and I ever had. Our emotions were very close to the surface. Of course she left."

"Did you two fight a lot?"

"Heavens, no. We got along very well, actually. Far better than anyone would've wanted us to at the time." Peggy chuckles at her little joke but Steve simply looks confused. "We fell in love, Steve."

"What?"

"Well, rather, I fell in love with her. She'd carried a flame for me for years. I was just too blind to see it." Steve frowns and Peggy tilts her head to the side. "Did you not know (Y/N) was interested in women?"

"Wh-no, of course I knew! We didn't keep secrets from each other. And it's not like she was the only queer person around, I mean Bucky preferred men to women three times out of four and I…" Steve trails off and he ducks his head in a poor attempt to hide the blush steadily creeping up his neck to his face.

Peggy can't help poking a little fun at home and says, "And you?"

Defensive, Steve says, “This isn’t about me!”

“Oh, I think we can take some time out to discuss this little development.”

“Look, I've had my, erm… moments with men, I guess.”

"Oh really? Anyone I might know?"

In spite of his embarrassment, he says, "Wouldn't you like to know."

"Yes I would, actually. You'd be surprised at how sparse the gossip around here can be."

Steve chuckles. "Fine. But first, you have to tell me about (Y/N)."

On very rare occasions, a small group of whoever was either free or working late on a Friday night would go out for drinks. This was generally initiated by Howard, who dragged Peggy out with him, who, in turn, coaxed (Y/N), who could never bring herself to turn Peggy down, into coming along. (Y/N) generally only stuck around for a couple of rounds, unless the Howlies were joining them that night, or Howard was paying. Even then, she never drank much, especially around Peggy. She’d been known to say some pretty incriminating things when she was drunk. It wasn’t a risk she was willing to take.

Unfortunately, after three years avoiding it, Peggy insisted they celebrate (Y/N)’s birthday. And not only that, but that they do it with a group. Organizing S.H.I.E.L.D. had taken up enough time that there wasn’t any left to put towards someone’s birthday. And that had been totally fine by (Y/N). She could count on one hand the number of birthdays she’d celebrated without Steve and Bucky combined. WIth them gone, it felt… wrong to celebrate much of anything.

Howard was the first to bring it up. About a month before (Y/N)’s birthday, he mentioned that he’d seen something about it on the calendar. (Y/N) said it wasn’t on the calendar because she hadn’t put it there and no one else had the date. He did his best to convince her that he’d definitely seen it somewhere. Knowing full well that he was lying, she simply stared at him and waited for him to give up.

“Fine!” Howard threw up his hands in exasperation. “I looked at your file.”

“That’s a massive invasion of privacy. Not to even mention it’s probably illegal.”

“Oh come on. Peggy doesn’t even know when your birthday is, and she's your best friend. How are we supposed to celebrate?”

“There is no ‘we’ here, Howard. And no one needs to celebrate my birthday.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want it.”

“Aw, who doesn’t want a birthday party?”

“Me. Now go away. I’m trying to work.”

He scowled and leaned out into the hall. “Peggy, get in here.”

When she appeared in the doorway, (Y/N) immediately knew she was going to lose the argument. Howard stood there wearing a smirk that said he already knew this. (Y/N) decided she wanted to punch him.

“What’s all this noise about?” Peggy asked.

(Y/N) sighed, folded her arms, and sat back in her chair, only to duck her head when Peggy raised her eyebrows.

“You’ll never believe what our dear friend (Y/N) has been hiding from us,” Howard said.

“What is it?”

“Her birthday is next month.”

“Oh?”

“But she doesn’t want to celebrate.”

“Really?” (Y/N) could feel Peggy’s eyes on her. She wanted to hide. “Why not?”

She shrugged. “I just don’t want to. Isn’t that reason enough?”

“No one should be alone on their birthday.”

“I won’t be alone, it’s a work day.”

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

“Of course. That doesn’t mean you’ll change my mind about celebrating.”

And they seemed to take that as a challenge rather than a fact because they spent the next three weeks wearing (Y/N) down. Or, rather, Peggy did all the work because Howard knew he’d leave with a new bruise every time he so much as poked his head into her office. He also knew that it was nigh unto impossible for (Y/N) to say no to Peggy. He hadn’t figured out why, yet, but he didn't really care so long as he got his way. And he did. Three days before her birthday, (Y/N) finally broke down and said they could celebrate. She refused a large party, as she still didn’t want to actually do anything. So, Peggy planned a small gathering at the bar they frequented. She made sure to keep the guest list short and only invited Dum Dum Dugan, Rose, Mr. Jarvis and his wife (who were unable to make it), and Colonel Phillips, who only showed because Howard said he’d take care of the tab.

When that Friday arrived, (Y/N) walked down to the bar with the group from the office and had a couple drinks with everyone. She then ordered a double scotch and escaped to a back corner booth to be alone. She watched her friends laugh and drink and chat from the quiet of her little table. LIke that, the night wore on. The bar got louder and her drink slowly disappeared. When the tumbler was empty, she found it suddenly cleared away and replaced with another.

“I didn’t order this.”

“No, but if you can’t have one too many drinks on your birthday, when can you?”

Confused, she looked up to find one of the men she’d seen behind the bar earlier smiling at her.

“Uh… thanks, I guess.”

“Ah,” he waved her off. “No need to thank me, your friend’s the one paying.”

“Right.”

“Anyway, happy birthday!”

(Y/N) gave him a tight-lipped smile and silently willed him to walk away. He stood there for a few seconds too long before he seemed to get the idea. When he was gone, she went right back to people watching. Then, when her drink, which she decided would be her last for the night, was gone and she felt pleasantly warm, she folded her arms on the tabletop and rested her chin on the back of one hand.

Rose sat on a stool at the bar and giggled at something Peggy said. A happy flush colored her cheeks. She seemed content. Dum Dum and Howard laughed uproariously at nothing in particular. Dugan gestured for another round and Howard clapped him on the back. (Y/N) looked away from the group and saw Philips shuffling towards the door. Before he stepped out onto the sidewalk he turned back and nodded once, directly at her. (Y/N) saluted him and he, unexpectedly, smiled, shook his head, and headed out into the night.

“You do know this is your party, right?”

In the time (Y/N) had been watching Colonel Phillips, Peggy had taken the seat across from her.

“Yeah, but you know I didn’t want it in the first place,” she mumbled. “It’s more of a party for you guys than anyone else.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be. You guys should have fun.”

Peggy sighed and nodded. “Why don’t you want to celebrate your birthday?”

(Y/N) didn’t want to answer, but she knew Peggy was asking out of genuine curiosity. The liquor she’d had that night wasn’t doing much to keep her quiet either.

“I haven’t celebrated much of anything since I lost Steve n’ Bucky.” She picked at a spot on the table. “Not my birthday, not Christmas, and certainly not the fourth of July.”

“Oh, (Y/N)...”

“I just really miss my brother.” Tears spilled down her cheeks. “And I figure if I just avoid the things we used to do together, then I don’t have to think about the fact that he’s gone. I can pretend that he’s still out there somewhere and that I’m not alone.”

“You’re not alone, darling.”

Coming from Peggy, that pet name shot directly through her stomach and only served to make her cry harder. She didn’t know how to express exactly what she felt. Because it was so much more than loneliness. It was loss and grief and pain and sadness rolled into one and made her sick to her stomach. What’s worse is that at that moment, (Y/N) realized that she hadn’t taken the time to grieve or process anything after she lost what was left of her family. Now it was spilling over with the one person she didn’t want to cry in front of. The only one she’d been strong for since Steve died. She was embarrassed.

“He was all I had left.”

“You have me.” Peggy tried to soothe her with a hand on (Y/N)’s arm, but she hardly noticed.

“But that won’t always be the case, I mean-” she sniffed- “You’re bound to get married someday and I’ll just…”

“You’ll get married too, (Y/N).”

(Y/N) just laughed. She couldn’t think of anything else to do at that moment, so she laughed. And Peggy couldn’t quiet decide how she should react, so she simply sat there, discomfort painted across every part of her, and waited till (Y/N) was finished.

When she’d quieted to a hiccupping giggle, Peggy asked, “What’s so funny?”

(Y/N) shook her head. “I’m just realizing how little you actually know about me.”

“What’s gotten into you tonight?”

“Mn, who knows.” She gathered her things from the booth and brushed the wrinkles from her trousers when she stood. “I think I’m gonna head home for the night.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I think I should.”

“Then let me call you a cab-”

“I’ll just walk. I think the cold’ll do me some good.”

“Then at least let me walk you home. It’s not safe to be out this late alone.”

“It’s no safer for you, and you’d be alone after you leave my apartment.”

“I’ll phone a cab when we get there.”

“You’re not gonna drop this, are you?”

“No.”

(Y/N) allowed herself a rare moment of visible exasperation, but conceded. “Fine.”

She walked off and left Peggy in the bar to gather her things. She was sure Peggy would need time to say goodbye to everyone, so (Y/N) leaned heavily against the brick wall outside. The rough stone dug into her shoulder and her breath turned to fog in the cold and briefly billowed around her as it dissipated into the night. She’d almost forgotten she’d been crying until the tear streaks on her cheeks grew cold and sticky as thy started to dry. She rubbed any lingering wetness away, all while muttering to herself about ‘never drinking again.’

“One well worded question and you spill your fucking guts,” (Y/N) mumbled. She scrubbed her hands over her face. “Secrets are secret for a reason.” She stopped abruptly and stared at her hands. “Why the hell am I talking to myself?”

“Why are you talking to yourself?”

Peggy stood just outside the bar, adjusting her scarf and waiting patiently for (Y/N)’s answer. (Y/N) found that her face suddenly felt as if it were on fire. She hoped it was dark enough to hide how flustered she was.

“How much did you hear?”

“Just the bit about you talking to yourself.” She flipped her coat collar up against the wind. “Why? Private conversation?”

“Something like that.”

“Is it urgent?” (Y/N) rolls her eyes and Peggy laughs. “I can wait, if you need to finish up.”

“Don’t be an asshole.”

“I’m sorry.” She giggled and coughed once when she saw (Y/N)’s expression. “You’ve been so serious tonight, I wanted to try and lighten the mood.”

“Not the best way to do that.”

“Understood.”

(Y/N) offered Peggy her arm. “We should get going.”

“Of course.”

Peggy tucked one gloved hand into the crook of (Y/N)’s elbow and allowed herself to be led down the sidewalk.

They walked in silence, for the most part. Peggy occasionally tried to spark up conversation by commenting on the weather or something she’d overheard in the office, but (Y/N), not wanting to say too much, mostly responded with two or three word answers or vague noises of acknowledgement. Peggy didn’t seem to mind. Then (Y/N)’s pace began to slow. They were only a couple blocks away from her apartment at the time. If Peggy didn’t ask her questions while (Y/N) was nearly asleep on her feet, she may never get any answers. Ordinarily, if (Y/N) didn't want you to know something, she was a vault with a long forgotten combination. But, when she was even just a little buzzed, she was far chattier. Even someone half the agent Peggy was would know to take advantage of the situation, even if it was a little unethical. But that would be something to worry about if (Y/N) remembered anything come morning.

"So," Peggy started. "What's this about me not knowing you as well as I think you do?"

"Which part?"

"Well, you laughed when I suggested you could get married." (Y/N) laughed again. "Why do you do that?!"

(Y/N) just laughed harder. "You really don't see it, do you?"

"What?"

"Me." (Y/N) tipped her head back to look at the sky. "You don't see me, but I see you."

"You've lost me."

She pressed her lips together. At this point, (Y/N) did want Peggy to know. She wanted the person most important to her to understand a huge part of who she was. The problem lay in finding the right words.

"Look," she started. "Have you ever seen me with a boyfriend? Or a man I didn't work with or wasn't related to?"

"Well… no."

"Have you ever heard me talk about a date?"

"Well, no." Peggy followed (Y/N) up the stairs to her apartment. "I just assumed you weren't interested in dating or that you didn't have the time!"

"Oh, I wish I had no interest in dating."

"Then what is it?" (Y/N) fumbled with the key and sighed when she dropped it. She picked it up and tried again, only to rub at her temples when she couldn't get it. Peggy lost what little patience she had left and said, very clipped, "(Y/N). What. Is it?"

She finally got the door open and turned to face Peggy. "My favorite poet is Sappho."

"I didn't know you enjoyed poetry."

With her face in her hands, (Y/N) tipped her head back and groaned. "It's not about the poetry!"

"Well for God's sake, tell me what it is about then!"

(Y/N) looked up and down the hallway and, when she was sure that the coast was clear, dragged Peggy into the apartment by the front of her coat. Peggy batted her hands away and by the time she'd straightened out her lapel (Y/N) had closed the door and was once again facing her.

"Really, (Y/N), don't you think this is a tad drama-"

"I don't like men," (Y/N) hissed.

Dumbfounded, all Peggy could manage was a feeble "What?"

"I'm not attracted to them. I don't date them, and I sure as shit won't marry one."

"So you-you-"

"Love women?" Peggy nodded. "Yes. Exclusively."

"I see." Peggy's face was blank, save for the crease between her brows.

"Is that all you have to say?"

“Well I’m not exactly in the right state of mind to say much more, now am I?” She shook her head. “I mean, really, what do you expect from me?”

“I don’t know! Disgust? Intolerance? Literally any negative reaction other than shock or quiet confusion.”

“How else am I supposed to react? This is a lot of information to process after drinking for a significant portion of the night.”

“Right.” (Y/N) took a deep, shaking breath and moved past Peggy into the apartment. “Right.”

She shed her coat and tossed it over the back of the couch. She stopped just short of her reading chair and stared at the embroidered pillow propped up against the back. Her head was full of static and she couldn’t make sense of anything. Not Peggy’s reaction, not her own reaction, and certainly not how and why she’d blurted everything out. Her chest felt tight and she was on the verge of tears, but all she could manage was a few shaky breaths. If she wasn’t embarrassed earlier, she sure as hell was now.

“How did you want me to react?”

“I don’t know.”

“How can you not know?”

“Honestly? I never thought I’d get this far.”

“Really?”

“If you didn’t figure it out on your own, I’d never have told you.” She shoved her hair out of her eyes and sank into her reading chair. “God. I’m just so tired of being so scared all the time.”

“What are you scared of?” Peggy crouched in front of (Y/N) and gently folded one of her hands between hers. “Getting caught? Rejection?” (Y/N) nodded. “Do you think I’d really reject you over something like this?”

“I don’t know.”

“Honestly, darling-”

“Don’t.” (Y/N) shook her head. “Don’t call me that.”

“(Y/N)-”

“With you knowing about everything, it’s too much. I can’t handle it.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re my best friend.” She tried to smile, but it was weak. “And I can’t ask any more of you than that.”

“I don’t understand.”

(Y/N) sighed. “You don’t have to.”

“All right.”

“You should stay the night,.” (Y/N) quickly changed the subject and got up from the chair. “I don’t feel comfortable letting you go home on your own this late.”

“I don’t want to impose.”

“You’re not, I’m offering. Insisting, really.” She skirted around Peggy and headed for the bedroom. “I’ll lend you some pajamas.”

“You don’t have to-”

“Well, you can’t sleep in all of that-” she gestured vaguely at Peggy- “And you sure as hell aren’t sleeping naked.”

Peggy did a passable impression of shock, but couldn’t suppress her laughter. “All right, fine.”

(Y/N) pointed at Peggy from the door of her bedroom. “I’m taking the couch.”

“You are not!”

“Nope, you’ve got the bed. I’m on the couch.”

“You really are impossible.”

“I come by it honestly.”

(Y/N) spent another good fifteen minutes going back and forth with Peggy about sleeping arrangements. (Y/N) won out in the end, but she was sure it was due to Peggy's alcohol consumption. She eventually found herself snuggled up on a surprisingly well me up couch. Peggy was gone in the morning and she didn't see her again till Monday.

Peggy didn't bring up a single moment of their conversation that previous Friday, so she assumed she'd forgotten about it. Almost a month later, Peggy approached her when they were the last two people left in the office. Peggy wanted to know how (Y/N) knew she was interested in women. (Y/N), sorting through old files, searching for evidence from a previous case to cross reference, didn't know if she should answer.

"Well?"

(Y/N) sighed and said, “Well, I wasn’t interested in boys all through school and couldn’t figure out why I looked at women more than men. Bucky’d gone through something similar and said I should listen to what the other girls were noticing about boys and see if that was what I was noticing about women.”

“And?”

“Ah, well,” She chuckled and scratched the back of her neck. “He was right. I was noticing bodies, not clothes. Eyes and lips without regard to makeup. Hands, not nail polish colors. And I found myself wanting to be the things girls wanted from the boys they were interested in. I wanted to be strong and dreamy and capable.” She shrugged. “That’s pretty much it.”

“How were you certain?”

“Dunno, I just was.”

“Have you ever dated anyone?”

“Uh… yeah.” (Y/N) flipped through the file cabinet. “There’ve been a few women over the years.” When she turned back to Peggy with the file, she saw something flash across her face that she might’ve taken as jealousy if she hadn’t known better. She brushed it off and continued, “But nothing lasted. Never really felt a connection. Why?”

“No reason.”

There had to be a reason, but (Y/N) didn’t push it.

“Are you on some kind of journey of self discovery or something?”

“Maybe.” Then Peggy muttered, “Not that I’ve discovered much.”

(Y/N) laughed. “Okay, well you're still attracted to men, right?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I’m not gonna be a very good resource for you.”

“Why?”

“I’ve never liked men. Never forced myself to either. I’m not much help in that department.”

“Ah.”

“Talk to Angie.”

“Martinelli?”

“Mhm. She should be able to help fill in any gaps.”

“She’s…?”

(Y/N) frowned. “You didn’t know?”

“Of course I didn’t know, I’ve only ever seen her with men!”

“She likes both. But it’s safer to date men, so she does. Doesn’t mean she hasn’t gotten it in with women in the past.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “Or in between.”

Peggy blushed tomato red. (Y/N) laughed. She’d never seen Peggy so flustered. Normally, she was so calm and composed. Seeing her flustered over a little innuendo was magical.

“We are in the office!” Peggy hissed.

“I am well aware.”

“Aren’t you the least bit embarrassed saying something like that so publicly?”

“We’re the only ones here. But-” (Y/N) shrugged- “I won’t make those jokes if they make you uncomfortable.”

“Thank you.”

(Y/N) nodded and went back to searching the files.

“Am I allowed to ask who she is?”

“Who?”

“The woman who’s got you this worked up.” She pulled a file, examined the contents, and put it back upon not finding what she wanted. “She must really be something, if she’s making you question who you are.”

“Yes.” Peggy’s voice sounded unfocused and far off. “She is.”

It hurt to hear that, of course. But (Y/N) knew where she stood with Peggy. And she was fine with that for the most part. She knew that, even with this shocking, albeit welcome, development, she shouldn’t get her hopes up. But there was a small part of her that had always fantasized about something like this. She did what she could to tamp that down. Which wasn’t hard, as she didn’t hear from Peggy much for several months.

Peggy avoided her for the better part of a month after that initial conversation. (Y/N) asked her if she’d talked with Angie, but only got a dismissive answer about “meeting with her soon.” She didn’t think much about it, as she was preparing for a long term assignment that was set to start within the month.

Due to incompetence on the part of several FBI agents she’d been assigned to, (Y/N) was stuck in the field for three months. The paperwork after the fact took nearly a full week to sort through and fill out. On top of that, she was forced to hound the men she’d worked with to complete the reports necessary for S.H.I.E.L.D. records. By the time everything was finalized, (Y/N) was pissed, tired, and ready to go home.

Peggy was at the airport when she returned and joy swelled in her chest when she saw her. When she was close enough, Peggy hugged her with everything she had, and (Y/N) very nearly dropped her luggage upon impact. She managed to stay on her feet and wrapped her arms around Peggy and pressed her nose to her shoulder. (Y/N) didn’t know when she’d be able to hold her again. She decided that she wouldn’t let go until Peggy did.

Howard let himself into her office her first day back at S.H.I.E.L.D. exclaiming, “She lives!”

“Pardon?”

He plopped down in her visitor chair. “Do you know how worried our fearless director was? She thought you’d died.”

“What?”

“Oh yeah. You were held up for two months. Peggy was starting to think the FBI was trying to cover up your death.”

“If you’re fucking with me-”

“I’m not, I swear. Anyone we could contact said the FBI wouldn’t allow communication in or out on your mission. We didn’t even know you’d been delayed until last month.”

“That’s ridiculous,” (Y/N) muttered. “They were the ones who screwed up in the first place."

Howard hummed. "But you made it back in one piece."

"Yeah…"

"I'm surprised the FBI guys did, though." He smirked when he caught her fighting back a smile. "You should be canonized."

"Ugh, don't say that. I just didn't want to get in trouble."

"With who, Peggy?"

"No, the government. You know how they love their bullies with badges." Howard nodded and (Y/N) added, "I'm pretty sure Peggy would've understood my reasons."

"Yeah, probably." Howard glanced at his watch. “Ah, I should get back to the lab.”

“What, are your alien specimens gonna take over if you don’t get back in time?” He froze and (Y/N)’s eyes widened. “I don’t like that reaction.”

“I’m just surprised. Our current project does have biological components, and-”

(Y/N) waved her hands and cut him off. “Nope. The less I know, the better. I refuse to get dragged in as a witness if your experiments get you in trouble.”

He laughed. “You say that like I’m some kind of mad scientist.”

“Well, you’re no Frankenstein, but you’ve done some crazy shit over the years.”

“And I’m sure I’ll do crazier before I leave this rock.” Howard hauled himself out of the chair and headed out to the hall. “Don’t disappear while I’m gone!”

“No promises.”

(Y/N) spent the rest of the day in a fog, unable to keep herself from thinking about what Howard had said. She hated even the idea of worrying Peggy, but this? This was ten times worse. There was nothing she could’ve done to stop it and she still felt guilty. Peggy had enough on her plate, she didn’t need to add anything more on top of it.

By the time she tossed her final report to the side, the sun had nearly set and she was sure she would be the last to go home.

She’d just closed her eyes and leaned back in her chair when someone knocked on her office door.

“Yeah?” The door opened and she cracked one eye open. Peggy stood there, looking unsure and (Y/N) immediately sat up. “Hey.”

“Do you have time to talk?”

“Of course.” Peggy closed the door and took a seat across from her. “What’s on your mind?”

“I’ve been thinking about your birthday.”

(Y/N) forced her expression to remain neutral. “Oh?”

“Would you really have kept it from me, had you not been tipsy?”

She said, without hesitation, “Yes.”

Peggy looked hurt. “Do you not trust me?”

“I trust you more than anyone. And I’m not ashamed of who I am, but it’s something I never wanted you to worry over.”

"It is my job to worry about you."

"No, Peggy, it's not. And I honestly don't want it to be." (Y/N) shook her head. "What is this actually about? Because I find it hard to believe that all these questions about liking women are suddenly so pressing."

"Don't talk to me like that."

"You're right." She sighed and apologized. "Just… please get to the point. There's no reason to beat around the bush." Peggy's expression turned apprehensive and (Y/N) said, "Peggy?"

"Am I the reason I'm not allowed to call you darling?" (Y/N) raised her eyebrows, surprised that Peggy had caught on so quickly. "Is it because you li-hmm... because you love me?"

Her chest tightened. How was she supposed to answer? If she told the truth, their relationship would change forever. And part of (Y/N) thought that wouldn't be a bad thing. Peggy had been curious about being attracted to women before the mission. That had to mean that she had some interest, right? But another part of her worried that, if she were to tell the truth, she'd be falling into a trap. She should deny it. Try to move on. Find someone else.

Peggy knew when she was lying though. Surely Peggy wouldn't want her to lie about this?

Slowly, (Y/N) nodded. "Yes."

Peggy took a shuddering breath. "How long?"

"A long time."

“How. Long.”

"Peggy-"

"I have a right to know."

"And am I not allowed to protect myself here? I mean… I'm the one who's confessing. I'm the one who's getting hurt. Not you."

"(Y/N), I-"

She cut her off. "I've had feelings for you since that first drink."

"I didn't know."

"Yeah. You weren't supposed to. Because I value our friendship and my own safety over the fleeting high of telling someone I love them."

"But Steve-"

"Steve had shit luck with love, and you were the first woman to spare him a sideways glance. As long as you were both happy, that's all that mattered."

"I'm sorry."

"You should be. Because I was fine before you pried all this out of me. But now you give a shit about who I am and am not fucking and my head feels like it's on wrong and somehow I'm still the one who feels guilty." (Y/N) shoved herself back from her desk and headed for the door, grabbing her things as she went.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m sorry, but I need some time to cool down.” She paused in the doorway. "With your permission, I'd like to work nights for the next few weeks."

Peggy nodded. (Y/N) disappeared into the hallway.

----------

Part 2

So I’m pretty sure this is the gayest story I’ve ever written. I’m sure the pining in my head isn’t obvious in the text, but just know the intention is there. I mean, who wouldn’t have been taken with Peggy from day one?

That being said, I’d love to know what you though of this chapter! Do you like the Reader character? Does she feel like Steve’s sister? What about her relationship with Peggy? Do you think she 

Tag List:

"Mm, given the season, I'd say about six months. Which is crazy to me, because I never left the city."

Bucky shakes his head. "What've you been doing this whole time?"

"Well, considering everyone I used to work with is either dead, lost in time, finding a new sidekick, or sidekicking with someone else, a whole fat lot of nothing."

"Hey!" Bucky protests. "I am not Sam's sidekick, we're partners."

"Oh shit, I didn't realize that you two were dating. How's that going? Is he treating you well? I know you two didn't get along when you first met and-" Bucky presses her back against the wall and she laughs. "Okay, I'll stop."

Bucky's hands come to rest on (Y/N)'s waist and he sighs. "I missed you."

She wraps her arms around his shoulders and hugs him. "I missed you too."

"Why didn't you visit?"

"I didn't want to mess with your therapy."

"Bullshit."

"Okay. I didn't know if you'd want to see me."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Too many memories? I was kind of stuck between you and Steve and the others for a long time, and you were starting a new life outside of that." Bucky pulls away, but (Y/N) refuses to look at him. "I don't want you to have to worry about how to fit me into your life, Buck."

"You don't get to make that choice for me. I'm the only one who gets to decide who is and isn't worth my time."

"Okay."

"You get that I care about you, right? I don't care how you fit into my life, I want you there. Understand?" She nods. "Good."

(Y/N) sighs and presses her nose to Bucky’s chest. “I really did miss you. I’ll always miss you when I’m not with you.”

“(Y/N)…”

“I’m sorry, Bucky. For everything. I should’ve stuck around. I just… I got very, very used to being on my own while you were gone. I haven’t been in a good headspace since we were in Bucharest. Things made sense there. And that’s no excuse to fucking off without saying anything, but it feels like every time I finally get close to you, I lose you. It happened when you were sent to D.C. and then Bucharest and Wakanda. But if I figured that if I didn’t hold onto you this time, maybe it wouldn’t hurt as much when something else inevitably takes you away again.”

Bucky tips her chin up to look her in the eye. “You’re not gonna lose me.”

“You can’t know that.”

“I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen.”

(Y/N) bites her lip to hold back the negativity that sits just on the tip of her tongue. Bucky’s hand shifts to her cheek and he presses his lips to hers in a brief kiss. He pulls back just enough to ask if it’s alright.

“Only if it’s something you want,” (Y/N) breathes. “If I’m something you want.”

Bucky just nods and kisses her again. (Y/N) grabs fistfuls of his coat and pulls him as close as she can get him. Her mouth opens under his and Bucky groans at the first brush of their tongues. Want flashes through (Y/N)’s stomach and she begins shuffling them towards her door.

“Can I come in?” Bucky asks.

(Y/N) nods and backs right through the solid door and drags Bucky through after her by the front of his coat. He stumbles into the entryway and has to take a moment to regain his balance.

“Doesn’t matter how many times you do that, it’s still weird as hell.”

(Y/N) laughs. “But so convenient when you forget your keys.”

She quickly sheds her scarf and jacket and tosses them to the side before Bucky can pull her close again. With his hands on her waist, he takes his time kissing her. (Y/N), however, makes quick work of unzipping his coat and the hoodie underneath and Bucky lets her shove them off his shoulders. He tosses them to the side and crowds her further into the apartment, spurred on by her quiet laughter.

They stumble their way to (Y/N)’s bedroom, occasionally breaking away to discard a piece of clothing.

Just past the couch, (Y/N) sneaks her hands under Bucky’s shirt. “Is this something you want?”

Bucky nods and moves her hands up his chest, hitching his shirt up in the process. “For a long time, actually.”

“Okay.” (Y/N) nods and pulls his shirt over his head. “Okay, good.”

As soon as she tosses Bucky’s shirt onto the couch, Bucky picks her up, his hands warm and sure under her thighs. (Y/N) loops her arms around his shoulders rests her forehead against Buckys and he walks them the rest of the way to her bedroom.

“Should I be worried about ruining our friendship right now?”

“Only if by ‘ruin’ you mean ‘make it better’.” Bucky laughs and says, “I mean, if we’d had more time to ourselves in Bucharest I’m pretty sure we would’ve ended up here anyway.”

(Y/N) rolls onto her side to look at him. “You think so?”

He nods. “Three more months and I would’ve broken down and said something.”

“Three months?”

“Mhm.”

“It was the shared bed, wasn’t it.”

“It was the shared bed,” Bucky confirms.

“How long if I hadn’t been your live-in dream catcher?”

“No idea. But I don’t think a world exists where you wouldn’t have crawled into bed with me, so I won’t worry about it.”

“I’d be far more offended if you weren’t so dead on.” With featherlight touch she traces down his nose, over his lips, chin, down to his chest. “Y’know, the short hair looks good on you.”

Bucky turns his head and grins. “Yeah?”

“Mhm. You almost look a little lighter. Brighter, maybe. I like it.”

“Good.” He places (Y/N)’s hand over his heart. “I wish you actually had messed with my therapy. Would’ve gotten the shrink off my back a helluva lot faster.”

“Oh?”

“Do you know how hard it was trying to convince her I had friends? And apparently Wilson doesn’t count, and I couldn’t get in touch with you, so you don’t count either, which is such bullshit-” (Y/N) giggles and Bucky rolls over and wraps his arms tightly around her. “You think that’s funny?”

“A little, yeah. I mean, I spent years trying to prove I was your friend and now you have to prove you’re mine. That’s hilarious.”

“Mn, right, hilarious.” He holds her tighter and kisses her as she starts laughing again. “You should do comedy.”

“The only person who thinks I could ever be funny is you.” She pauses to think and her nose scrunches up. “Maybe Clint, but his sense of humor’s shot, so I don’t know if I’d trust it.”

“Have you talked to him recently?”

(Y/N) shakes her head. “I saw a few things about the Ronin and him on the news around Christmas. I think he might’ve had something to do with the tree at the Rockefeller Center falling over, but I can’t be sure.”

“I don’t even wanna know.”

“I hope he’s doing alright, though. Being left behind… it took a toll on everyone. Especially if your people were taken from you.” Her body briefly flickers and she pushes away from Bucky the second her shoulder dips into his. "Sorry, I… shit."

"What was that?"

She shakes her head. "Nothing."

"(Y/N)."

"It was just a glitch, it happens sometimes. It's fine."

"Why'd it happen?"

"Sometimes it's emotions, sometimes it's the weather. Honestly, it's probably a combination of the two at the moment. As it is, I'm not entirely corporeal when it's gray like this."

"Does it happen a lot?"

(Y/N) shrugs. "Not as much as it used to."

"When did it start?"

"It's always happened when I was anxious, but it got really bad a few days after that first snap. After we - I lost you."

"I'm sorry, (Y/N)."

She shakes her head and gently kisses him. "I don't want you to be."

"I just… you went through so much-"

"Everyone did, Bucky. Everyone lost someone. And I am one hundred percent sure there was nothing we could've done to prevent it. I mean, you saw the numbers we had. We were vastly outgunned." She sits back against the headboard and sighs. "I wish I could move past it, but it's so hard."

"It was five years. It doesn't need to be easy." Bucky takes her hand and gently rubs his thumb over her knuckles. "Tell me what happened?"

“I…” She scrubs her free hand down her face. “I shut down. There were things that had to be done, so I took whatever assignments Steve would give me to keep busy. And it worked, for the most part.”

“But?”

“But about a year in, my sister reached out. Our mother had passed away and our father and her immediate family turned to dust, so I was, quote, ‘all she had left.’ Which really made my skin crawl because they’d wanted nothing to do with me or my trauma. But I met with her because there’s something clinically wrong with me, probably.”

“What’d she want?”

“Well, at first I thought she just wanted to commiserate. She complained about money and cried about her family, but she’s barely better than a stranger at this point, so it just felt weird. And she’d never know what it was like to lose my, well… my you.” Bucky squeezes her hand. “But then she changed the subject and she-she wanted me to use my connections with the Avengers to get her a job, or something. So I just got up and walked out. After that it was just years of empty anger and grief.”

“(Y/N)…”

“I thought about you every single day.”

“You were the first person on my mind when we were brought back. But then you disappeared.”

“I know.”

“Did you even think about staying?” (Y/N) nods. “Why didn’t you?”

“I don’t know. I was someone else’s responsibility for so long and if I stayed I’d either be a burden, lose someone else, or both. So I just…” She shrugs and shakes her head.

“I wish you’d stayed. That I could’ve done something to keep you around.”

“It was never your fault, though.”

“I know, but-” Bucky carefully pulls her closer- “I don’t have many people left. Please don’t cut me off.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Mhm. As long as you want me around, I’ll be there.” (Y/N) gently combs her fingers through his hair, slowly dragging her nails along his scalp. “Are you still living in the city?”

“Yeah. Not sure I can stay in that spot, though.”

“Oh, why?”

“Mn. Shit happens.”

“Like that “shit” with Sam a few months back?”

“Different shit.”

“I see.” He grunts. “You did good with that, Bucky.”

“Sam did most of the work.”

“So it was a different beautiful man with a Vibranium arm saving those important government officials from a burning van?”

“No,” he grumbles. “That was me.”

“And it was a different man who went after that knockoff Captain America?”

“Well, Sam was there too-”

“Bucky, you did part of the work. You were the good guy. You are a good guy. Give yourself a little credit here.”

“You say that like there weren’t losses,” Bucky grumbles.

“Losses that Sam openly and publicly condemned.”

“Have you been keeping up with the cases or something?”

“A little,” (Y/N) admits. “I keep an eye on anything odd that shows up in the news.”

“And?”

“And it was interesting.”

“Oh really?”

“Well, that, and I think Walker’s an ass. It was only a matter of time before something went wrong.”

“The government tried to negotiate the terms of Steve’s legacy. Something would’ve gone wrong regardless.”

(Y/N) hums. “How’s Sam dealing with that, by the way?”

“He’s figuring things out. I just wish we’d talked to him about it before Steve handed over the shield.”

“Probably would’ve been a good idea.”

“I mean the shit he’s gotten because of the color of his skin is ridiculous. You know some people have started “Not My Captain America” rallies? It’s right up there with the election denial shit that happened.”

“There’ll always be angry racists out there. It’s one of the unfortunate side effects of where we live.”

Bucky snorts. “Shit’s ridiculous.”

“Yeah, but you know Sam. He’s more capable than most of doing the job, regardless of the social reaction. He’s already proved that to the world. And he’s got us and what’s left of the Avengers to back him up. We’ll make sure the shield stays with him.”

Bucky nods and (Y/N) kisses him and hauls herself out of bed. She shimmies into a pair of clean underwear and goes to get a glass of water from the kitchen. When she returns, she’s wearing Bucky’s shirt.

“Were you alone for the holidays?” Bucky asks.

(Y/N) shrugs and crawls back into bed. “Kind of, but it’s no big deal. Christmas was never all that important, so it’s not something I celebrate on my own.”

“Oh.”

“Was your family big on the holidays?”

“A little. We at least made sure we were all together for the big ones.”

“That sounds nice.” She props herself up on one elbow. “New Years used to be the big thing for me. Something about a fresh start was really appealing. Especially after I moved out for college.”

“Then I’d hate for you to be alone on New Years.”

“Well, you’re here right now. I’m not entirely alone.”

Bucky awkwardly clears his throat. “Sam invited me to spend New Years with him and his family.”

“Oh.” (Y/N) forced herself to smile. Bucky said she wouldn’t lose him again. So why does it feel like he’s about to break that promise? “That should be nice.”

“Hey, don’t do that,” Bucky sees right through, as always. He runs the backs of his fingers over her cheek. “Don’t shut down.”

“Sorry.” (Y/N) sighs and scrubs her hands over her face.

“Talk to me.”

“It’s nothing.”

“(Y/N).”

“No, it’s nothing. What’s Sam’s family like?”

Bucky sighs. “They’re normal, in the best way possible. His sister, Sarah, is real nice and her boys are great. They’re just… they’re just kids, y’know? They love their mom and they get to play and the only things they have to worry about are homework and whether or not they remembered to do their chores.”

(Y/N) tucks one hand under her cheek. “Sounds perfect.” Bucky hums his agreement. “Do you need a ride to the airport?”

“I was hoping I could convince you to come with, actually.”

(Y/N) frowns. “You want me there?”

“Of course I do. And Sam would love to see you again, obviously.”

She bites back her smile. “Obviously.”

“Will you spend New Years with me?” He kisses her knuckles. “Please?”

“Yes.” She grins and Bucky wraps her up in his arms and kisses her. “And Sam, of course.”

Bucky laughs. “Of course.”

Well, that’s the end! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, as well as the earlier ones.

I’d love to know what you thought of either this chapter or the story as a whole! Do you think Bucky and the Reader character can make it? Do you think their relationship felt like a natural progression of what was happening pre-thanos snap? Did you like the ending? Be sure to like, reblog, comment, and/or shoot me an ask and tell me all about it!

If you’d like to be tagged in future fanfiction, please let me know ;u;

Tag List:

When they felt that she was ready, she worked quick little “get in, get out” type assignments with Clint and Natasha.

She initially worried that she’d settle into old habits. Fall back into the silence and minimal involvement. That she’d go back to being someone’s tool. But having her teammate’s voices in her ear, Clint going at an almost constant chatter, kept her present. Natasha asking for her opinion made her focus and stay engaged. The intense gaze Nat directed at her with each question told her that she knew what (Y/N) was feeling and she was doing it on purpose. (Y/N) was endlessly grateful.

Bucky happened to call just as they arrived back from her first extended assignment. She answered as soon as she saw his number and she knew he could tell something was different.

“Did something happen?”

“That depends, Good or bad?”

“You just sound happier is all.”

“Oh. Well I’m definitely happier.”

“Good.” He paused and just as (Y/N) was about to say something asked, “What changed? New friend or something?”

“Hah! (Y/N) has a new friend, that’s hilarious.” She giggled to herself for a moment before she could compose herself. “No, no new friends. But um… okay, this might sound dumb.”

“I doubt it.” (Y/N) didn’t continue, and Bucky grew worried. “(Y/N)?”

“I’m working with the Avengers.”

“You’re working with them?”

“I just got back from an assignment, actually.”

“How-” he cleared his throat- “How’s that going?”

“Really good, to be honest.” Bucky didn’t say anything and (Y/N) signed. “I’m sure you think it’s a bad idea.”

“It’s not that. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

"I'll be fine. It was my choice. And it's not like I'm working jobs on my own." Bucky huffed, not entirely pleased with her answer. "I don't know what to tell you. This is what I'm doing now."

"You were doing great as Stark's assistant."

"I was doing a great job tracking you. Because that's the only thing I was doing." He grumbled something along the lines of "At least you were safe," and (Y/N) shook her head. "Do you want me to send you updates? Because I can text you when I get back from missions. Let you know I'm home in one piece."

"Only if you tell me when you're hurt, too."

"Do you actually want to know when I'm hurt?"

"No. Maybe that's incentive for you to stay out of the line of fire."

"I think getting shot that first time with you was more than enough."

"Good."

"I'll keep you apprised then."

"Thank you."

Tentatively, (Y/N) asked, "How've you been?"

"I'm alright. Definitely been better."

"Oh?"

"Don't get me wrong, I've been worse too. But I haven't been in one place alone like this in… I can't actually remember the last time. It's kind of like learning to exist again."

“That’s the hardest part. Figuring yourself out after everything that’s happened.” Natasha slowed as she walked past and raised her eyebrows. (Y/N) shook her head and Nat shrugged and walked off to find Clint. (Y/N) lowered her voice before continuing. "I wish I could be there to help, but I know you need space."

"Yeah. And it's better for everyone this way."

"I don't know if it's better. It's definitely quieter."

"And safer."

"For now." The other end of the line is silent. “I can hear you rolling your eyes.”

“No you can’t.”

“Your eye-rolling silence is different from your regular silence. I know when you’re rolling your eyes.”

“I’m starting to get why you didn’t have friends in school.”

“Ugh, so rude.” Bucky laughed. “Look, all I meant is that being alone is safer for now. You’re not always going to feel like you don’t own your brain.”

“You can’t know that.”

“Maybe not. But what if I’m right?”

“Then that’d be great. But I’m not going to take that chance. Especially not with people I care about.” (Y/N) said nothing. "No quick comeback?"

"I don't know if you know this about me, but I hold within me an abundance of stupidity. I don't always have a retort prepared." She plopped down on a shipping container and leaned back against the hangar wall. "I trust you to know what's best for you. You're the only one who knows what's going on inside your head. When you're ready to share, I'll be here."

"Thank you. I'm sorry I'm making this hard on you."

"You're not, so don't be. I worry about you, but your situation isn't about me. I'm sorry that's how it came across."

"It's fine."

“Just-”

“(Y/N)!”

Clint appeared in front of her and, startled, she shouted her surprise.

“What?!”

“Debrief time, let’s go.”

“I’m on the phone.”

“Nat decided we’re meeting now, and she’s the boss.”

(Y/N) groaned. “Looks like I have to go.”

“Yeah, sounds pretty important.”

“Incredibly. Take care of yourself.”

“Mhm, you too.”

“Talk to you later.” They hung up and she shoved herself up from the container. “You have the worst timing.”

Clint grinned. “Who was that?”

“A friend.”

“Oh come on, you don’t have friends.”

“Neither do you.”

“Ooh, harsh.”

(Y/N) rolled her eyes and followed Clint out into the hallway. He stopped just short of their meeting room.

“You really should be a little more careful,” he said.

“About?”

“Taking calls like that. Steve’ll notice sooner rather than later.”

“Believe it or not, I have thought of that.” Clint kept his expression carefully blank. “Look, can we please just drop it? I never told him I’d keep him a secret. Just that I wouldn’t find him.”

“You’re sure?”

“I already got this lecture from Nat the first time he called. Let’s just get this meeting over with so we can move on.”

Clint and Natasha kept her secret as long as it remained one.

(Y/N) worked more frequent and more dangerous missions as time pressed forward, but she never failed to keep Bucky in the loop. She was concussed on one mission and she texted him as soon as she knew.  He called and kept her company after she was discharged from the infirmary. They talked for several hours and just as (Y/N) joked that they were tempting fate, Steve stepped into her room to check on her.

The first words out of her mouth were “I’m sorry,” quickly followed by “I can explain.” And she was lucky Steve gave her the chance.

Bucky stayed on the line while she explained the situation. That he was the one to call her. To ask that she stay away and stop looking. That she'd agreed, as long as he promised to keep in touch. That they’d been in contact for months without Steve knowing.

And he sat there, nodding while she talked, his frustration very obviously simmering just beneath his skin. But, in spite of the frustration and disappointment, he understood their reasoning.

When (Y/N) trailed off, Steve sat there on her bed, deep frown firmly in place. Eventually he sighed and asked Bucky if he was alright. Bucky said that he was and Steve nodded and told him to take care of himself. (Y/N) almost asked if there was more he wanted to stay, but Steve patted her shoulder and left before she could get the words out.

They didn’t speak for several months after that until (Y/N) felt compelled to fill Bucky in on what was happening with Ultron. She had been tossed around a bit by one of the bots during Tony’s party, but otherwise sat out for the whole ordeal. Bucky knew this and was still worried

In spite of staying out of the limelight with the Ultron incident and never going on missions where she would be publicly visible, someone, somehow, still knew she was working with the Avengers. And, lucky her, they followed her to the little cafe three blocks away from the Tower when she left to get herself, Steve, and Clint coffee one afternoon.

She could tell just by their shoes they were a federal agent. She couldn’t tell which branch, but it didn’t matter. Any attention from them was bad attention.

They followed her out of the cafe without even bothering to get their own drink as a cover. They tailed her for a good half hour as she led them around in circles around the Tower. They didn’t seem to even notice she was doing it. Eventually she stopped behind a dumpster and waited for the agent to stumble past her.

It wasn’t that (Y/N) wanted to draw attention to herself, but she couldn’t just let the guy follow her home. So she stopped and waited for him to come to her.

She leaned against the brick wall and, as they walked past her, asked, “Hey, what do you want?” The agent jumped and pulled his gun on her. She simply lifted the tray of drinks and her free hand. “That seems like a bit of an overreaction, now doesn’t it?”

“(Y/F/N) (Y/L/N), correct?” he asked, shoving his gun into the back of his waistband.

“Why do you ask?”

He flashed a nondescript badge and clipped it back to his belt just as (Y/N) was trying to squint to read it.

“I have several questions you need to answer.”

“Who’s asking?”

“That’s need-to-know information, ma’am.”

“Okay, well I need to know, if you want me to answer your questions.”

The agent flushed red behind his shitty sports sunglasses. “What is your involvement with the Avengers?”

She decided to give him half the truth. “I’m one of Tony Stark’s assistants. Next.”

“You have ties to Hydra, correct?”

“Not that I know of.”

“There’s video evidence of you working with the Winter Soldier.”

“Where’d you get it from?”

“That’s classified.”

She raised her eyebrows. “But the Winter Soldier isn’t?”

“Well-”

“And if you already have such damning evidence, why do you need me to confirm anything?” She tilted her head to the side, but didn’t move otherwise. “Could it be you don’t actually have anything?”

His face turned three shades darker. “Why you-”

“I mean, I’m not actually guilty of anything, clearly. So I’m just gonna-” she pointed to the mouth of the alleyway- “head out.”

She left and returned to the tower to hand off Steve and Clint’s drinks. She apologized for them being cold, but Clint immediately drank his and Steve simply said he’d heat his up later.

Over the course of several weeks after that first incident, (Y/N) found that she was being followed by several different agents when she went out. She mentioned it briefly to Tony and began taking pictures of them when she had the opportunity. F.R.I.D.A.Y. was able to identify them and they all traced back to one person; Secretary Thaddeus Ross.

She immediately texted Bucky:

Hey, I’m being followed. I need a palace to lay low.. Do you trust yourself enough to help me?

The response was instantaneous:

When do you need to leave?

They decided she'd leave that night.

Steve walked in on her packing and just stared.

“What’s this?”

“I’m being followed. Something’s up.”

“Slow down.” He gently grabbed her wrists. “What’s going on?”

She sighed. “Three weeks ago I was followed out of that little cafe I like. Government agent. Couldn’t figure out what branch. I led him around in circles for a while, couldn’t lose him, and then he started asking all these questions about my affiliation with the Avengers and Hydra and Bucky and more of them just keep showing up whenever I leave the tower and I can’t take it anymore.”

“So you’re leaving?”

“I’ll be safe. Out of the public eye.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about.”

“I know. But I’m more worried about what’ll happen to you guys if I stick around. I mean… Secretary Ross is above the guys who’ve been following me, and that spells nothing but trouble.”

“We can help you, (Y/N).”

“Not without putting your own reputation on the line. And you guys are doing too much good to be dragged down by some ex-Hydra hero wannabe.”

“You’re sure about this?”

“I am. Something big’s on the way and you don’t need me under your feet when it happens.”

“Will you at least tell me where you’re going?”

“No, but you know who I’ll be with.”

“You’ve already spoken with him about this?” She nodded. “When do you leave?”

“Tonight.”

“So soon?”

(Y/N) shrugged and resumed her packing. “From what I can tell, whichever Agent-of-the-Day is following me is punching a time clock. They disappear after seven most nights and the next shift picks up some time before eight the next morning. The sooner I leave, the harder I can make it to follow me.”

“And if we need to find you?”

“You’ll figure something out.” She grinned at him. “You’re smarter than they are by a million.”

“I appreciate the confidence.”

“I’m serious about this though. And I’ll come back after whatever this is blows over. If we’re lucky, I won’t be alone when I do.”

“Just let me know when you’re settled, okay?”

She slipped her laptop into a backpack and crammed several shirts in on top of it. “I will.”

“Good. I want to know you’re safe.”

(Y/N) paused and looked him in the eye. “Y’know, sometimes I’m really glad you found me.”

Steve wrapped his arms around her and hummed softly. “So am I.”

She allowed herself to linger in the embrace for a moment before pushing him away and clearing her throat. Steve sat on the bed and watched her shovel a few more things into her bags before she tugged her coat on and reached for her backpack. He slung her duffel over his shoulder and walked with her to the elevator when she was ready to leave.

They stood in silence as she put on a stocking cap and carefully tucked her hair up into it. She put on a black medical mask and took her duffel from Steve when the elevator doors opened.

“Okay, well…” she slung the duffel over her shoulder and stepped into the waiting elevator. “I guess I’ll see you later then.”

Steve nodded. He didn’t leave until the doors closed.

(Y/N) spent a week traveling from New York to Bucharest, opting to travel by boat, train, and bus over planes. Bucky was waiting for her at the station when she arrived. (Y/N) approached tentatively, unsure of the reception she'd get. They stared at each other for a solid two minutes, each assessing their separate situations. When the corner of his mouth twitched up into the closest thing to a smile she'd ever seen from him, (Y/N) stepped forward and hugged him. He froze initially, but slowly wrapped his arms around her shoulders and relaxed in her hold.

"I've always secretly wanted to do this," she mumbled.

Bucky chuckled, the sound a warm rumble from deep in his chest. "I'm glad you got here safely." (Y/N) hummed. "You weren't followed, were you?"

"No. I think there might've been someone in Toronto, but they were easy to lose."

"Good."

He took her duffel bag and batted her hand away when she complained and tried to take it back. With (Y/N) tucked safely under his arm, Bucky led her back to his apartment.

(Y/N) sent Steve one quick text before permanently turning her phone off and removing the SIM card.

Arrived safely. We're fine. Don't look for us.

To (Y/N)’s surprise, and carefully hidden delight, they worked well together. There were no squabbles over who’s turn it was to cook or clean and they took weekly trips to the library and the market. They’d collapse on the couch together after a long day of errands and read. When they finished their books, they’d swap and settle back in.

In the beginning, (Y/N) slept on the couch. It was fine. Definitely not the worst back pain she’d experienced. But a month in, Bucky started having nightmares.

The first time it happened, she woke him up, calmed him down, and went back to the couch. The second time it happened three times in one night. She woke him up for the first and second and then crawled under the covers after waking him the third time.

“I could hurt you,” Bucky said. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t.”

“(Y/N),” he warned.

“You won’t,” she repeated. She squeezed his hand. “Do you want me to leave?”

HIs eyes went wide. “No.”

“Then I won’t. And you won’t hurt me. The pact is sealed. You’re never getting rid of me. Okay?”

Bucky nodded. “Okay.”

“Good.” She shuffled closer and held his hand to her chest, fingers laced.

“Thank you, (Y/N),” he murmured.

“Thank you for accepting the help.” Bucky squeezed her hand and hooked one foot around her ankle. “Go to sleep, Buck.”

They had their routine. It wasn’t anything exciting, but it worked for them. It was comfortable. They liked it.

They had a year and some change of peace before Steve appeared in their kitchen.

(Y/N) had returned from the market early and he was flipping through one of Bucky’s journals.

“That’s not yours.” Steve turned to face her and placed the journal on the counter. “If this is your way of telling me I was right about Ross, it sucks.”

“Yes and no. Ross is involved, but there was an attack on the U.N. They think Bucky’s involved.”

(Y/N) scoffed. “That’s absurd. We haven’t left the city in well over a year.”

“Which is why I’m here. We-”

“(Y/N), we have a problem.” Bucky rushed into the apartment and thrust a newspaper at her. On the front was a blurry picture of someone who might’ve looked a little like Bucky, provided you could squint hard enough.

“Where’d they get this picture?” (Y/N) held the paper out to Steve. “And why the fuck didn’t you get here sooner?”

“I-I don’t know-”

(Y/N) didn't leave time for Steve to answer and plunged her incorporeal hand through the floorboards, only to pull two packs out a moment later. She handed one off to Bucky and looped the other around her arms.

She slipped the journal from the counter into Bucky’s pack and asked, “How much time do we have?”

“Not enough,” Steve said.

“Then we leave. Right now.”

And then all hell broke loose.

Somehow, (Y/N) wasn’t placed in a cell beside Bucky. Instead, she was escorted to a conference room with Steve and Sam. With the amount of anxiety surging through her, (Y/N)’s powers flickered and Steve had to stop her drumming on the table when her fingers started sinking into the wood. She’d been so focused on the monitor and Bucky that she hadn’t realized what she was doing, let alone the weird looks she was getting.

She was first through the door, or wall, rather, when the lights went out. Her goal was to intercept and distract him long enough for Steve to find them and get the hell out. She managed to calm him long enough to guide him away from Tony. The plan went to hell after she took a particularly heavy blow to the back of the head. She crumpled to the floor and lost consciousness soon after.

She woke to Sam’s hands around her arms. She quickly got to her feet and Sam explained the situation as he led her out of the building. Steve was waiting for them in a beat up Bug with Bucky, soaked and unconscious in the back seat. She stuck to him like glue even after he woke up.

The following days blurred together. If there weren’t security footage, she wouldn’t believe it actually happened.

(Y/N) was taken to the Raft after the airport battle.

She didn’t have it nearly as bad as Wanda, but they’d put the same shock collars on both of them. Once, her powers flickered during an anxiety attack and she nearly pissed herself with the amount of electricity coursing through her body. (Y/N) opted to sleep through most of her time there.

After Steve rescued them, (Y/N) finally let herself cry. Mourn what she and Bucky had lost in Bucharest. The home they'd worked so hard to balance between the two of them. The time she'd finally gotten back with him. But she didn't let herself wallow. She knew there was still work to be done, so she followed Steve wherever he needed her. And when Bucky was fully deprogrammed, she asked if she could be allowed to stay with him in Wakanda. Keep him company. T'Challa very kindly gave her permission to do so.

She had three months with him before he was gone again in a violent flurry of aliens and ash.

In the following five years, (Y/N) shut down. She went where she was needed and did as she was asked. She didn’t get her hopes up at the prospect of retrieving the Infinity Stones. Couldn’t celebrate when those they’d lost returned and joined them on the battlefield. Couldn’t celebrate their victory. All she felt capable of was mourning. Mourning Vision, Tony, Natasha… even inevitably losing Bucky again.

So to protect herself, after Tony’s funeral and Steve’s goodbye, she left. Found a little apartment for herself in the city and tried to start over.

In spite of her efforts to keep herself busy, the loneliness was unrelenting.

Coming home one day, her knees nearly gave out at the sound of his voice.

“What the hell, (Y/N)?”

----------

Part 3

Ah yes, the patented Erin Cliffhanger (not actually patented, I do not have that kind of money.) The final chapter will be up next week!

Until then, I’d love to know what you thought of this chapter! What do you think of the reader’s relationship with the other Avengers? What would you have done if you were the one living with Bucky in Bucharest? Be sure like reblog, comment, and/or shoot me an ask and tell me all about it!

Tag List:

Though she was terrified of him at first, (Y/N) found that she actually liked working with the Soldier. He was far more focused on the mission, getting in and out, than he was on her. They’d worked together for a year before he said a single word to her. Most communication was relayed to them by their superiors, so the Soldier generally communicated through head and hand movements and the occasional grunt where necessary. But then she was shot while they were on a mission and everything changed.

The round tore through her right thigh. (Y/N) cried out and fell to the asphalt just behind the Soldier and he just barely looked over his shoulder in time to see her knees hit the ground. (Y/N) heard a singular hissed “fuck” through his mask as he stopped in his tracks and ran back to grab her. She told him to leave her, but he simply shook his head and slung her over his shoulder without a single slowed movement.

And he ran for cover just like that. The enemy continued shooting and (Y/N) pressed her hands to the Soldier’s back and asked him to trust her. He simply nodded and kept his eyes forward. In turn, she dug her fingers in and shared enough of her power with him that the bullets that would’ve taken them down flew right through them. If he was surprised, the Soldier didn’t show it.

When they were able to finally take shelter, (Y/N) assessed her wound and extracted the bullet herself, only to sob into her elbow while the Soldier stitched her up.

When he finished she mumbled, “Thank you.”

“It’s fine,” he muttered. (Y/N) stared at him in shock and he said, “What?”

“I’ve never heard you speak,” she explained. “Not until today, at least.”

The soldier folded his arms and sat back against the wall. “I talk.”

(Y/N) shook her head. “Not really. But I can’t blame you for keeping quiet. It’s safer.”

It was silent, save for the sounds of their breathing, then, “You don’t talk much either.”

Confused, she said, “Sorry?”

“I’ve seen you with the Handlers. You don’t say much more than one or two words at a time.”

“Oh. Right.” She sighed and leaned heavily against the wall. “I wasn’t always like this. But you know how it is with these people.” The Soldier nodded. “I tried to escape once.”

“Oh?”

(Y/N) nodded. “Got maybe two miles away before they pinned me down and dragged me back.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Should’ve known better, y’know?” She sniffed and rubbed her tears from her cheeks. “And I don’t know why you’re apologizing. You’re not the reason I’m here.”

“I kind of am. You’re stuck with me on these missions.”

“I’d rather be with you than someone who doesn’t get it.”

Silently, he moved to sit beside her and gently nudged her with his elbow. She laid her head on his shoulder and the Soldier sighed. (Y/N) dozed on and off for several hours before he said anything further.

“We’ll have to move as soon as it’s dark.”

(Y/N) didn’t open her eyes, but she nodded. “I’ll be fine by then.”

“Good.”

“Will you ever talk to me again?” she whispered.

“Probably.”

“Okay.”

The Soldier kept his promise and spoke with (Y/N), however sparingly, when they were alone on assignment. There wasn’t much for them to talk about, but just having someone in those circumstances was a comfort.

They worked together for three more years before the Soldier was assigned to a high level mission in Washington D.C. and (Y/N) was transferred to a facility in the middle of some German forest she couldn’t point out on a map if you put a gun to her head. Though he had once been one of the most talked about operatives in Hydra, there was a point where all mention of him died off. No one mentioned him. There was no news of his mission in D.C., or updates on where he was going next, and while (Y/N) was used to being kept in the dark, this lack of information scared her. There was no talk of going back to the States, and soon their operations were moved, quiet literally, underground. (Y/N) didn’t see sunlight for close to six months after the move, and even then it was only because the ceiling of her cell collapsed.

A man in a suit of red and gold metal fell through the hole in the ceiling just as (Y/N) pressed her back against the wall. They swung around, hand outstretched, palm facing her and she dropped into a crouch and covered her head with her arms.

“Who are you?”

“Who are you?!” she countered.

“I asked first, kid.”

He shifted forward and (Y/N) scrambled back through the wall on pure instinct. She could distantly hear the armored man’s shouts of disbelief, followed by a call for backup. The door of her cell blasted out into the hallway and the man stuck his head out of the doorway and loudly asked “how the hell she did that.” She didn’t stick around to answer and pelted through the maze of hallways that she never had any time to familiarize herself with and prayed that she’d make it out before someone, good or bad, grabbed her and dragged her back.

She was caught off guard when a pair of arms reached out and grabbed her from a dark doorway. No matter how much she struggled, they wouldn’t loosen their hold. Even when she managed to smash her head into their chin.

“Let me go!” she cried.

“I can’t do that,” they growled.

“Please let me go,” she begged. She tried to phase through their arms, but through her panic all she could manage was a tiny flicker in solidity. Their arms tightened around her and she lost all of her fight and went limp against their chest. “Please don’t hurt me.”

 “Why would we hurt you?”

(Y/N) shook her head and she flickered again. “You’re attacking Hydra. I work for them. Why wouldn’t you?”

“Pretty straight forward when she says it like that, eh, Rogers?” The man in the armor appeared in her periphery and she cringed away from him. He held up his hands when he saw her reaction. “We’re not going to hurt you.”

“Then let me go.”

“Can’t do that,” said the man holding her. “You’re still Hydra.”

“Not by choice.” The man holding her seemed surprised by that, and his arms loosened just enough for her to knock them away and scurry away to the mouth of another hallway. Both men lurched forward and she held her hands out to defend herself. “Don’t.”

“What do you mean? Are you being blackmailed?”

She finally got a good look at the man who’d grabbed her. He was tall and broad through the shoulders. The red, white, and blue suit he wore seemed a bit gaudy. Old fashioned. By the time she saw the shield on his back, she was kicking herself for not recognizing him sooner. “You’re Captain America,” she said. She almost laughed. “You’re supposed to be dead.”

“Oh, so you know him, but not me?”

“He’s in history books.” She deadpanned. “Am I supposed to know who you are?”

“I’ve consistently made national headlines for the past six years.”

“I haven’t really seen the news since two-thousand eight. Maybe longer.”

“It’s like talking to a wall.” He turned to Captain America and said, "I'll go find the others. You talk to the kid."

The two men nodded in agreement and the armored man disappeared down the hallway again.

There wasn’t much Rogers had to say to get (Y/N) out of the compound. Once she knew they weren’t there to punish her, but rather wanted to help instead, she readily went with him. He guided her onto their jet and a redheaded woman she immediately identified as a Black Widow approached them. She instinctively took a step back and a gentle hand on the small of her back stopped her.

“She’s a friend,” Rogers said.

In turn, (Y/N) said, “She’s a Black Widow, is what she is.”

“You say that like I’m going to kill you,” the Widow said.

(Y/N) shrugged. “I’m not stupid enough to think you couldn’t.”

The Widow snorted and said “Smart.”

She quickly learned those who'd found her were part of a team called the Avengers. They gave her a place to stay and ensured she was safe and healthy. In return, she cooperated with any tests they asked for. Stark was particularly interested in how her powers worked. Even more so when they occasionally malfunctioned.

She spent two weeks in the tower before she heard talk of her transitioning back to society. She didn’t really know what that entailed, but in the time she’d been given to catch up on what happened in the years since she was snatched, she tried getting in contact with her family. She called her mother, who simply chose to call her a liar and hang up. She tried her father and didn’t receive much more. When she finally managed to get ahold of her sister, she was told that her family had assumed that she’d disappeared on purpose and they’d moved on instead of cooperating with police investigations.

“So none of you care that I was kidnapped? None of that fazes you?”

“To be honest, weirder things have happened around the world since you disappeared. I mean, literal aliens invited.”

“What the fuck does that have to do with me? My life was destroyed, but you three are fine, so it doesn't matter. Is that it?”

She could practically hear her shrug. "I don't know what to tell you, (Y/N). You weren't here."

"Do you hear how fucking blasé that sounds?"

"(Y/N)-"

"No, y'know what? Go fuck yourselves."

She hung up and tossed the phone onto the bed and leaned back against the wall, willing herself not to cry. There was a gentle knock on the doorframe and (Y/N) looked up to find Steve standing just inside the doorway.

"Did you hear that?" she asked, her voice small.

He nodded. "Do you need to talk?"

Her bottom lip wobbled and tears spilled over as she nodded. She quickly swiped the tears away. “Sorry. I’m not usually like this.”

“You don’t need to apologize.” Steve sat on the edge of the bed and clasped his hands in his lap. It was clear that he wanted to provide some kind of physical comfort, but didn’t want to overstep. “What happened?”

“I uh…” she sniffed- “I heard you and Tony talking about getting me back in society, so I tried getting in contact with my family, but it’s like I never existed. Like I was missing for seven years and they just never looked for me.”

“Oh, (Y/N)…”

“They literally told the police to stop looking for me. I called my mom, she called me a liar, my father did the same thing, and my sister acted like it was my fault for getting snatched in the first place. Because apparently an alien invasion makes a family member’s kidnapping mundane, or some shit.”

"So you told them to-"

"Go fuck themselves, yes."

"Honestly, I don't blame you."

"What?"

"Sounds like they don't care about you, and if that's the case, they can eat shit."

(Y/N) laughed and the sound was borderline hysterical. "Christ, the fact that you just said that blows my little pea brain right outta my head."

"Aw, come on. Your brain's bigger than a pea."

"Mm, maybe a cashew?"

Steve laughed. "Maybe."

(Y/N) sighed, shaky and tired, and looked Steve in the eye. "Thank you."

"Of course. But um…" He scratched his chin and averted his eyes. "I need to ask you a few questions."

"About my time with Hydra, right?"

"Right." (Y/N) watched his brows pull together as he thought. "I don't exactly know how to ask this."

"Just do it. I mean-" she shrugged- "what're you afraid of? It's not like you can offend me."

"Right." He sighed. "Did you work closely with anyone? They might've been high level or secret ops."

"Uh, yeah actually. I did." She frowned. "I get the feeling you have someone in mind."

"I do. I just want to know if we're thinking of the same person."

"Okay… I worked with someone they called the Winter Soldier." (Y/N) watched Steve's expression morph into something akin to grief. "I was initially assigned to him because I could get him in and out without drawing attention to an entry point. We worked together for a total of four years, I think. And we worked really well together, if I'm being honest."

"Were you close?"

"As close as we could be, given the circumstances. He was my friend. "

"Was?"

"He was placed on a mission months ago and I haven't heard a thing about him since. I can only assume he's dead." Steve frowned and she said, "Is he alive?" When he didn’t answer she grabbed his arm. “Steve, is he alive?”

“Yes, he’s alive.”

(Y/N)’s shoulders sagged with relief and she covered her face with her hands. Steve placed a gentle hand on her knee and she let her hands fall to the mattress.

“What is he to you?”

"His name is Bucky," Steve said. “He's my best friend.”

"Holy shit." She almost laughed. "I had no idea he was that old."

"I don't think he knows he's that old."

(Y/N) did laugh then. When she'd quieted down, she asked, "Are you looking for him?" Steve nodded and she covered his hand with hers. "Can I help?"

"I don't know…"

"You know I don't have anyone waiting for me at home. And you knew him before he was the Soldier, but I know him now. As he is. I can be useful."

"It's not that I don't think you're useful, (Y/N), it's just not your responsibility."

"Well, I'm not your responsibility either, but you still took me in."

"We couldn't just leave you there."

"But you could've just dropped me off somewhere and made me someone else's problem." Steve still hesitated. "I'll beg. I'm not above it."

"You want to help that badly?"

"Outside of this tower, he's the only person I have. I absolutely want to help that badly."

Steve caved pretty easily and (Y/N) joined the investigation immediately.

Steve and Sam were easy to work with, for the most part, but she always itched to go off and look on her own. Part of her knew that the reason they made so little progress was because Bucky knew they were looking for him. So she suggested that they back off for a month or so. Shortly after they did, the algorithms Tony helped them set up began pulling in leads. Most of them were just brief sightings, but it was something and Steve seemed pleased.

Months passed, and while Steve was training or working or off on a mission, (Y/N) was back at the tower, neck deep in the investigation. She rarely left the tower, mostly citing her lack of money and familiarity with the city when someone asked (Tony quietly hired her as an assistant at one point. She tried to turn him down, but he wouldn't take no for an answer.)

She followed any lead she could dig up, each time finding that the trail would disappear after a couple of days. This happened for weeks on end before she decided to back off, giving a day or so between research sessions. Initially, the same thing happened, but she didn’t give up She backed off, and went back to a sighting in Paris. She monitored movements from there, tracing him to Austria before the trail went cold. She gave it a couple days and sure enough, he cropped up again in Rome. She wasn’t sure exactly what he was doing, but she was glad she’d found him.

When Steve dropped by to check on her, she let him know she’d found him. He wanted to pack up and meet him, but she explained how she’d found him and suggested that they let him get settled before trying to make contact. The last thing they wanted was to spook Bucky and lose him again. Steve agreed and dropped his jacket in the chair beside (Y/N) and asked her for a full update on what she’d found.

(Y/N) kept tabs on him for several months, but otherwise took on other projects. She joined Natasha for training and assisted Tony to the best of her ability when he needed her. She was left to her own devices otherwise.

There was a night several months down the road during a particularly rowdy party, thrown to celebrate Thor’s return to Earth, where (Y/N)’s phone rang. It wasn’t a number she recognized, so she excused herself to take the call.

“Hello?”

“(Y/N).”

She knew it was him immediately and the sound of his voice stole her breath. “H-hey.”

“You’ve been tracking me.”

“A little. How’d you know?”

“Because you’re not aggressive as Steve is.”

“I feel like there’s an ‘and’ in there somewhere.”

“There’s no and.” He sighed. “I tried to find you in Germany, but the base was empty. Security footage showed you going with the Avengers.”

“Right.” She sighed and ran her hand down her face. “Look, I’m sorry if I overstepped, but I hadn’t heard about you for months after you were sent on that last mission, and I thought you died or something, so when Steve said you were alive I had to do something to find you. Even if it was just to make sure he was right.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re all I have.”

“You have a family.”

“They don’t give a shit about me.”

“The Avengers, then.”

“They don’t know me.”

“And I do?”

“Better than most.”

“You’re a better liar than that, (Y/N).”

She felt like she was about to lose him all over again. “Look. We worked together for four years. Maybe that’s not a long time for you, but it was for me. And you were the only person I could rely on to not use me. I can't lose you again.”

“I didn’t realize you felt that way.”

“Well we’re friends, aren’t we? And you and I don’t really have many of those.”

He chuckled and (Y/N) couldn’t remember ever having heard the sound before. “That’s true. Unfortunately.”

(Y/N) smiled and leaned against the wall. “So. You went all the way to Germany to liberate me?”

“I did.”

“Sorry to waste your time.”

“Wasn’t a waste of time. I learned you were safe, at least.”

“Are you safe?” she asked.

“Me?”

“Yeah, wherever you are. Are you safe?”

He was quiet for a moment. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

“Good. Are you still bouncing around?”

“Not for much longer. I found somewhere to settle, at least for a little while.”

“I’m glad. You deserve a little quiet.”

“Thank you.” He paused. “I’m not gonna tell you where I’m going.”

“Wasn’t planning to ask. We’ll respect your privacy.”

“But Steve-”

“He’ll get over it. Just make sure he can’t find you.”

“What,” he said, smile evident in his voice. “Like, you’d do a better job than him?”

“I’m more patient than he is.” They both laughed, but (Y/N) sobered quickly. “What do you want me to call you now? ‘Soldier’ doesn’t really bring back good memories.”

“No,” he murmured. “Just… just call me Bucky.”

“Are you sure?”

“It’s my name. Might as well use it.”

“It’s a nice name.”

“Thank you.”

“Will you stay in touch?”

“I can’t promise much.”

“At least call when you’re settled then. Just so I know you’re good.”

He sighed. “Okay, yeah. I can do that.”

“Thank you.”

“I should probably get going. I have a boat to catch.”

“Okay. Thanks for calling. It’s really nice to hear your voice again.”

“Yours too.” A horn blared in the background of the call. “That’s my ride.”

“Then you better get going.”

“Talk to you later.”

“Mhm, later.”

“Bye, (Y/N).”

The line went dead and she stared at her phone’s dimming screen with a smile playing at her lips. She glanced up and found Natasha leaning against the wall opposite her. Her sudden appearance startled (Y/N) enough that she almost dropped her phone.

“Well that sounded friendly,” Natasha said.

“How much did you hear?”

Natasha shrugged. “Enough. ”

“Okay then.”

(Y/N) ducked her head and tried to excuse herself back to the party, but didn’t make it very far.

“I hope you know what you’re doing, (Y/N).” Natasha’s voice was quiet and held an edge of concern that (Y/N) wasn’t used to.

“I’ll admit, I’m inept in most areas, but I know him. I trust him.” She met Natasha’s gaze. “Please trust me enough to let me handle something like this on my own.”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you to handle yourself.”

“You don’t trust him.”

“I don’t trust his mind.”

“I don’t think he does either. But I can’t lose another friend. I know you understand that.”

Natasha gave in far more readily than (Y/N) expected. “You’re sure you can keep this from Steve?”

“I’ll figure something out.” Natasha raised one eyebrow. “What, you think I’m not crafty enough to lie to Captain America?”

“You have yet to prove you can.”

“I haven’t had to. Which is pretty nice, considering I was Hydra for almost a decade.”

Her posture softened and she placed a gentle hand on (Y/N)'s arm. "You know we're happy to have you, right?"

"That means a lot, coming from you. Thank you." (Y/N) grinned. "I won't mention this if you don't mention the call.

That earned a surprising chuckle from Natasha. "Deal."

----------

Part 2

OKAY so I know that this fic is entirely out of left field, especially with the structure, but trust me: it’s good (?). Yeah, let’s go with that.

How do you feel about the structure of this story? What do you think of the Reader character so far? Do you like her background? What about her relationship with Bucky? Where do you think it might lead in the future? I’d love to know what you think! Be sure to like, reblog, comment, and/or shoot me an ask and tell me all about it!

If you’d like to be tagged in future chapters, please let me know!

Tag List:

“You said it, not me.” He turns to face me and leans on the bookshelf. “But you’re not flighty. If you were, you wouldn’t have that shop, you wouldn’t be in a relationship with Barnes, and you definitely wouldn’t have made it through any kind of training at Kamar-Taj.”

“Maybe.”

“No, not maybe. I’m right.”

“Asshole,” I mutter.

“What was that?”

“I said fine.”

“Sure.” He sighs and takes a seat across from me. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

“It’s been two weeks. I’m fine.”

“You weren’t fine when you first came to me and I’m pretty sure you still aren’t.” He leans back in his chair. “Beside that, just because it’s been two weeks doesn’t mean that you’re not still on edge. It was almost a month between the last two incidents. Deep down, you know that as soon as you get comfortable, he’ll attack again.”

“I’m a little on edge, that’s it.”

“You haven’t been outside since he attacked.”

“For good reason!”

“I’m not saying it isn’t! I’m just concerned about you, (Y/N). And what all of this is doing to you.”

I stare at him, debating whether or not talking to him will help. Eventually, I decide it can’t hurt.

“I’m not sleeping well,” I admit. “It’s easier when Bucky stays over, but I just… I worry that I'm not doing enough. Like I should be able to run my shop, and help you, and be with Bucky, and keep everyone I care about safe, but I know that I can't, and that it's not all up to me.”

"You're right. But for all the time you spend insisting that you can take care of yourself, your partner is more than capable of taking care of himself too."

"Logically, I know that. But there's an emotional part of me that ignores that information."

“Being self aware enough to recognize that is important.”

“Yeah…” My phone chimes, pulling me back to reality. “Oh, I should get going. Bucky and I have plans.”

He lifts one eyebrow. “Oh?”

“We’ve been doing movie nights instead of going out recently. You understand why.”

“Of course.”

“I’ll see you later.”

“Mhm,” he waves me out of the room. “Stay safe.”

“Well that was… good? I think.”

I laugh. “Stardust isn’t for everyone.”

“It wasn’t bad, though”

“No, but that doesn’t mean you have to like it.”

“But it’s one of your favorites,” he whines.

“And you sat through the whole thing!” I lean heavily against his side and grin up at him. “I really appreciate that.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm.” I tip my head back and he kisses me gently. “Aside from it not being bad, what’d you think?”

“I don’t know. I think Tristan and Yvaine went from hating to loving each other faster than I expected, but I guess that’s just how it’d have to work out to fit the narrative.” I nod and he takes it as a sign to keep going. “Captain Shakespeare was… I don’t know. His character felt off.”

“Mhm. Kind of a caricature of a queer person.” He nods. “I agree. They took De Niro and made him this character that’s incredibly effeminate in private while being very masculine with everyone else.”

“His crew seemed to accept him well enough, so I’m not sure what the point was.”

“I think they were trying to subvert the audience’s expectations of his crew rejecting him for being a little fruity. Which is fine, but it was still not great. The characterization was redeemed a little when Shakespeare winked at Humphrey in the end though.”

“He what?”

“Did you miss that?”

“I didn’t even see it!”

I laugh. “Humphrey smiled too. It was hilarious.”

“Jeez. How’d I miss that?”

“To be fair, I’ve seen it dozens more times than you have.”

“True.” He frowns. “Even with all the weird shit, it’s still one of your favorites?”

I shrug. “Looking at the time it was made, it’s pretty clear that the intent wasn’t to harm a specific group, so I can look past it. Like you have to get to a point in your life where you can recognize the issues with a piece of media that you enjoy, critique them, and enjoy it anyway.”

Bucky hums. “I see.”

“But, as much fun as recognizing flaws in something can be, don’t underestimate how much I love bad movies.” He chuckles. “That being said, you get to choose the next movie.”

“Oh, you’re so kind, (Y/N).” He kisses me and I laugh. “Maybe we’ll go back to Lord of the Rings. We stopped after the first one and haven’t gone back.”

I hum. “Yeah, definitely fell asleep in the middle of that one.”

“Yeah, but that night was…”

“Special?” I offer. When he laughs I poke his stomach. “I know, it was weird.”

“It wasn’t weird!” he says. “Parts of it were weird.”

“Aw, Bucky,” I whine.

“What? Everything turned out fine.”

“What parts were weird, then?”

“Well, for one, that woman from your book club who patted my ass and said to ‘go get ‘er, tiger.’ That was pretty weird.”

“No.” My eyes go wide and I look up at him. “She seriously said that?”

“Mhm. That, and things were kind of awkward between us until we finally talked.”

“I should’ve just told you how I felt when we saw Singin’ in the Rain.”

“Why didn’t you?” 

“We hadn’t known each other all that long and I didn’t want to scare you off.”

He smiles. “You think that’d scare me off?”

“I don’t know! I’d just shown you my magic leg, things weren’t exactly normal that night. I figured it’d be the thing to make it way more overwhelming than it already was.”

Bucky bumps his shoulder against mine. “I wanted it to be a date, y’know.”

“You did?”

“Yeah. I didn’t want to ask because I was scared of the answer. Being around you was nice enough, asking for more seemed like too much, at the time.”

“You’ve changed your mind, right?”

“Well, yeah, of course I have.” His arm tightens around my shoulders. "Where's this coming from?"

"I get a little insecure sometimes," I mumble. "I worry that I forced you into this, or something, and I don't want you to feel trapped."

"You didn't trap me, (Y/N)," he says softly. "I don't do anything that I don't want. Not anymore."

"You're sure?"

Bucky nods. "I'm sure."

"Okay."

"Should we head to bed?"

"Probably. But only if that means you're staying the night."

"Of course I am." He kisses my forehead and rises from the couch. "Where else would I go?"

I smile and take the hand he offers me, and laugh when he hauls me up off the couch and into his chest. We get ready for bed and I fall asleep with my head on his chest. I sleep soundly through the night.

"I could stay and help out today," Bucky offers.

"No, I can't hog you any more than I already have," (Y/N) says. "I'm selfish enough with you as is."

"Nah, I don't think you're selfish enough." He smiles and leans in close. "Remember when you said you'd steal me away?"

She rolls her eyes, but smiles regardless. "You have to go to work if that's gonna happen. Which means you can't stick around."

"You're no fun."

“I’m incredibly fun. You just don’t want to go to work.” She follows him out onto the sidewalk and grins up at him when he turns back. “Which I don’t have a problem with, but I’m pretty sure Steve would start calling me a bad influence if he found out.”

“Maybe he would. But-” he pulls her close- “maybe he wouldn’t.”

(Y/N) laughs. “You really want to tempt fate?”

“A little, yeah.” Bucky ducks his head and kisses her jaw. “Gotta live on the edge from time to time.”

“Mhm, sure, living on the edge.” When Bucky pulls away she tucks his hair behind his ears. “You could start ‘living on the edge’ by staying over on a weeknight, if you want.”

“Really?”

“Mhm.”

“Sounds a little risky.”

“Well, you don’t have to.”

“No, I want to. It’d be nice to see you more.”

“Maybe tomorrow night?”

Bucky’s about to answer when he notices that (Y/N)s attention has been drawn to something behind him.

“What is it?” he asks.

“It’s him.”

“Mordo?”

She nods and slips her phone from her pocket and types something Bucky can’t see. Mordo taunts (Y/N) from the safety of his portal, but she ignores him. Instead, she presses her phone into Bucky’s hand and steps around him.

“Call Stephen. Tell him what’s happening.”

“What’re you gonna do?”

Using the same whips (Y/N) used the first time Mordo attacked, she pulls Mordo from his portal and onto the pavement.

“I’m going to kick his ass.”

“(Y/N)-”

“I’ll be fine. Just get Stephen here. Fast.”

Bucky watches, speechless, as (Y/N) grabs the back of Mordo’s collar and drags him along with strength that he didn’t know she possessed. She makes a large, sweeping motion with her arm and reality splinters in front of her. She disappears through the cracks with Mordo in tow. Bucky calls Strange.

“What.”

“Mordo showed up again. (Y/N) just dragged him through some kind of portal? It looked like shattered glass.”

A sparking portal opens directly in front of Bucky and Strange steps through, shortly followed by Wong. Bucky hangs up the phone.

“You said it looked like shattered glass?” Strange asks.

“Y-yeah.”

“Where?” Bucky points and Strange sighs and places his fists on his hips. “Great.”

“Did it look cool?” Wong asks.

“What?”

“Did it look cool?” he repeats. “(Y/N) was always aggressive when she fought at Kamar-Taj.”

“She uh… she pulled him out of his portal-”

“Bare handed?”

“Uh… no.”

“Whips?” Bucky nods and Wong shakes his head. “What a thing to miss.”

Bucky rolls his eyes and turns back to Strange. “What do we do now?”

“We wait, Sergeant Barnes.”

“That’s it?”

“I’m afraid so.”

“Of course,” Mordo says. “The Mirror Dimension. A little unfair, don’t you think?”

“In what way?” We begin to circle each other and I slowly realize what he means. “You think I’m drawing from the Dark Dimension?”

“I know your type, (Y/N).” He brandishes his staff at me and I slap it away. “I know the deals the Ancient One taught you to make.”

“I don’t need the Dark Dimension to walk, Mordo. I need magic.” I conjure my whips and stand at the ready. “And that’s all I need to kick your ass.”

He surges forward and I dodge him, deftly kicking him to the side. We exchange blows, each of us managing to hit one another several times. I manage to stay on my feet each time Mordo strikes at me and it only serves to frustrate him more. With his tenth missed shot, he lets out an animalistic growl and launches himself at me. I sidestep him, lash my whips around his middle and swing him around. When I’ve built up enough momentum, I hurl him into the side of a building. His body makes a dull thud upon contact and he hangs there, seemingly stuck, before he falls to the street below. It takes him several minutes to recover.

“How?” he asks. “How is it that you’re able to just dance around me?”

“You were always so concerned with yourself that you never paid enough attention to your peers. I mean-” I shrug- “Sure, you watched me for a bit, but when you decided that you could take me down. That I wasn’t a threat. And that's where you fucked yourself.”

He pushes himself up onto trembling legs and shakes his head. “I don’t believe you. You must be drawing power from something.”

“Yeah, myself.”

“You’re arrogant.”

“And you’re injured.”

“I can still take you down.”

“Then do it, coward.”

“It’s been half an hour, Strange,” Bucky says. “We have to do something.”

“Have faith in her. She won’t go down without a fight.”

“That’s what I’m worried about,” he mutters. “She’s too stubborn to give up and he’s too blinded by his own beliefs that he won’t stop till she’s almost dead, or worse.”

Strange begins to pace and Bucky follows him with his eyes. He stops after three minutes, seeming to have come to a decision.

“We give her five more minutes. If she’s not out by then, I’m going in.”

“You should go in now.”

“We have to give her time.”

Bucky scowls. “She’s had time.”

Strange opens his mouth, but before he can say anything, Wong taps him on the shosulder and points out into the street. Their attention is drawn to the same reality splintering portal that (Y/N) had disappeared through not even an hour before.

The three men inch forward before quickly backing away when Mordo comes flying out of the portal. He skids to a stop on the sidewalk and doesn’t move.

While Strange and Wong move to inspect Mordo, Bucky is far more concerned with (Y/N) and quickly walks up to the portal. He’s halfway there when she stumbles out onto the pavement.

Her hair is a mess and she has dirt smeared all over her face. A cut over her left eyebrow drips blood down her cheek, but her bright eyes and the smile on her face are a testament to her victory.

“Thank God,” Bucky murmurs.

He walks towards her, arms outstretched, smile on his face. (Y/N) reaches one hand out to him and attempts to take a step before her smile falters and her knees buckle. Bucky surges forward and catches her before she can hit the pavement.

As he sinks to the ground, he smooths his hand over her face, a chorus of ‘no’s and ‘please’s falling from his lips. She fists Bucky’s shirt in one hand and her eyes slowly close. Bucky curses and holds her closer.

Her leg flickers and disappears. Her body goes limp.

-------------

Part 10

Please pardon me waxing towards Literary Criticism with that conversation about Stardust. I love the movie and I miss academic discussion. Sue me. BUT. HERE WE HAVE FULLY RETURNED TO DRAMA. SO EXCITING. HOPE Y’ALL ENJOYED IT.

But! What’d you think of this chapter? How do you feel about the Reader character’s relationship with Doctor Strange? Are you liking these movie dates? If you’ve seen Stardust, do you like it? How do you feel about the fight with Mordo, and do you think the Reader is alright? And, most importantly, where do you think the story might go from here? I’d love to hear all about it! Be sure to like, reblog, comment, and/or shoot me an ask and tell me all about it!

If you’d like to be tagged in future chapters, please let me know!

Tag List:

@ghostlyhamlet, @claws-of-vibranium, @creaturefeatures101-blog, @imagine-assembling-the-avengers, @buckysendoftheline, @ptprocrastination, @1950schick, @amayasymone23, @arfrona-and-marvel, @ek823, @fanaticfangirl001, @furrywerewolfcollector, @kissofvenom922, @dawn-phantomhive, @fangirlwithasweettooth, @mairhof1, @starryeyesbadguys, @trap-house-homiecide, @buckywhitewolfbarnes​, @kaepm981, @howdoesoneadult​, @pcdmesamidala​, @thefandomplace​, @sian22redux​, @skeletoresinthebasement​, @lady-thor-foster​, @feelmyroarrrr​, @jazzcutie​, @gaytonystark​, @geeksareunique​, @nyxveracity​, @hermionie-is-my-queen​, @darling-loki​. @lemonadeorange73​, @princess-unicorn124​, @tofeartheunknown​, @queenoftheunderdark​, @avengerscompound​

This fic:

“What do you mean eventually?”

“I don’t have any way to predict how long she’ll be out for, but it’ll most likely be a few days.”

"And if it's longer?"

"She's safe here. We'll keep an eye on her, and I'll do what I can to make sure she recovers." He watches Bucky's frown deepen and folds his arms. "What is it?"

"What about her shop?"

"Right." Strange sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose. "I'll talk to Stark about it. See if he'd be willing to compensate her employees while the store's closed."

Bucky nods. "Alright."

"Satisfied?"

"Your bedside manner is terrible," Bucky says.

“So I’ve been told. Anything else?”

“No.”

“Wonderful.”

Strange disappears through another portal, leaving Bucky alone with (Y/N) in an otherwise empty room. The only sounds are his breathing and the heart monitor that lets him know that she’s still there. He stands at the end of her bed for almost an hour before he can tear himself away to even make an attempt at working.

He makes it through, roughly, three hours of work before he finds himself back in the infirmary.

He settles into a chair at (Y/N)’s bedside and keeps watch over her until he falls asleep around eleven at night. He wakes the next morning to Strange checking her vitals. He thinks he should be startled to see him, but he isn’t.

“How’d you sleep?” Strange asks, looking at the heart monitor instead of at Bucky. “Can’t be comfortable, spending the night in a chair.”

“I’ve slept on worse.”

“I’d imagine you have.”

“How is she?”

“Better than she was yesterday.” Strange’s hand hovers over her chest. “Her heartbeat is stronger and her magic will slowly return as she rests.”

“Still no guess as to when she’ll wake up?”

“No. You’ll be the first to know when I have something.”

“Thank you.”

Bucky pushes himself up and out of the chair and leaves Strange to monitor (Y/N). He distracts himself with work for the majority of the day and manages to drag himself back to his room to shower and change his clothes before he finds himself at (Y/N)’s bedside again. As the sun sets, his stomach growls and he debates whether or not he should eat something. His stomach wins out in the end and he leaves to make himself a sandwich.

He repeats this routine for two more days with little change in (Y/N)’s condition. Steve, though, grows concerned for his friend as he watches Bucky eat less and less in favor of watching over (Y/N). Steve decides to talk to him on the fourth night.

He leans in the doorway and says, “You really should sleep in your own bed.”

Bucky shakes his head. “Can’t.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want her to wake up alone.”

“I don’t think there’s a single person in this tower that she’s not friendly with. She won’t be alone.”

“You know what I mean, Steve,” Bucky says. “I want… I need to be here when she wakes up.”

“You need sleep.”

“I can sleep just fine right here.”

Steve sighs. “Will you at least make sure you eat something? I haven’t seen you put more than three meals in your body since you brought her in.”

“Yeah, I can do that.”

“Good.” Before he leaves for the night, Steve says, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Bucky nods. “Mhm.”

He falls asleep holding (Y/N)’s hand, his upper body laid out across her legs.

Around three a.m. the fifth night, Bucky’s awoken when someone squeezes his hand,

Everything hurts and I’m more tired than I’ve been in years, but the warm weight of someone’s hand in mine pulls me back to reality.

With the strength that I do have I squeeze their hand. They squeeze back and I can hear them stir beside me. I find Bucky sleeping in a chair beside my bed when I manage to pry my eyes open.

“Bucky?” My voice comes out hoarse and it makes me cringe.

Bucky blinks sleepily and looks at me in confusion. “(Y/N)?”

I nod and squeeze his hand. “I used too much magic.”

“Yeah.” He frowns. “You’ve been out for almost a week.”

“I’m so sorry,” I murmur. “I didn’t mean to scare you like that.”

“I know.” He scoots closer and holds my hand to his chest. “I’ve been so worried about you.”

Tears well at the corners of my eyes and I gently pull on Bucky’s hand, urging him to join me on the hospital bed. He very gently bundles me up in his arms and curls himself around me once he’s on the bed, careful to ensure that my IV doesn’t get tangled.

“I got him, right?”

“Mhm.” His arms tighten around me. “Threw him a good twenty feet through that portal, too.”

“Really?”

“Yup. Pretty impressive. I didn’t expect you to be that strong.”

“I’m not. Magic plays a big part in that.”

“Doesn’t matter.” He kisses my forehead. “My girlfriend kicks ass. That’s what matters.”

“I’m just glad you’re safe.”

“Well I’m glad you’re safe.”

I settle against his chest and yawn.

“Get some sleep,” he whispers.

I nod and doze off.

Shortly after I wake up, Stephen strides into the infirmary. The surprise on his face tells me he wasn’t expecting me to be awake.

“You’re looking surprisingly chipper,” he says.

“Well, I’m not dead and Mordo’s probably trapped somewhere in the Sanctum, so there’s not much to be sad about.”

He hums and takes my wrist to find my pulse. “How do you feel?”

“A little sore, but Bucky says I’ve been out for almost a week, so that tracks.”

“That’d definitely do it.” He pats the back of my hand. “Don’t try to walk without help for the next couple days. Barnes would kill me if you got hurt.”

“Aw, no, he’s a teddy bear.”

“If you say so.”

He tells me he’ll be back tomorrow morning and leaves just as Tony slips through the door. He lets me know that he’s taken care of Lena and Robbie’s pay for the week and ensured that they focussed on packing and sending out online orders.

“Tony, you really didn’t have to do that,” I say. “I’m more than capable of paying my employees.”

“I know, but your little doctor slash wizard friend asked me to.” He plops down in the chair beside me. “And there wasn’t much else I could do while you were comatose, so I’m happy to help where I can.”

“Thank you.”

“How are you?”

“I’m fine.” He frowns and I reach out and poke his cheek. “Honest, Tony. I feel alright.”

“I guess I’ll just have to trust you on that.”

“I’ll be back on my feet in no time.”

“Well, you currently only have one foot, so…” I shove his shoulder and he laughs.

“Leave my stump out of this!”

He stays and talks for another half hour before he has to go back to the lab. I doze for a couple hours until Steve shows up with lunch. We eat and talk for two hours and Steve chronicles everything that happened between me passing out in the street and waking up early this morning. He’s clearly very worried about Bucky, but I don’t want to let on that I am too, so I just listen and nod when appropriate. He doesn’t seem to notice.

We finish our meals and Steve hugs me briefly before clearing our plates and heading back to work. Clint shows up moments later and we talk until I can barely keep my eyes open. As he's leaving, he promises to bring Lucky with him tomorrow.

I nod off again, but when I wake this time, Natasha is startlingly close to my bed and I nearly roll off the edge in surprise.

“Jeez, Nat.” I press my hand to my chest and try to even out my breathing. "You know I hate it when you do shit like that."

The corner of her mouth quirks up. "I know. It's just fun to watch you jump."

"You're as warm as ever, I see." I try to scowl at her, but fail miserably. Instead, I reach out for her and smile when she takes my hand. "It's been a while."

"It definitely has." She looks me over. "How've you been?"

I shrug. "Well enough. The kids have been doing a lot of good work at the shop and business is good. I also might've met someone."

"Oh, I am well aware of your little someone." She chuckles. "He cares about you. A lot."

"Does he?"

"He's with you almost every day of the week. If anyone should know, it's you."

“I know.” I lean heavily against the mountain of pillows behind me. “I like him so much, Natasha.”

She squeezes my hand. “Then you should tell him, because he’s smitten with you.”

“I just don’t want to scare him off, y’know? We’ve barely been together a month at this point.”

“But you fall fast.”

“What if he doesn’t?”

“If he cares about you, he’ll stick around. Grown adults know that a love confession isn’t an obligation to say it back.”

“You’re right.” I frown. “Why don’t we talk more often?”

“Because we’re both extremely busy and you once accused me of having commitment issues.”

“You say that as if I was wrong.”

She laughs. “No, you were right, but it still hurts, (Y/N).”

“Ah, well. Words cut deeper than knives, and all that.” She shakes her head in an attempt to hide her growing smile. “You’re gonna use that next time you make a scathing remark, huh?”

“I might.”

“Very devious, Nat.”

She just pats my hand and pushes herself up from the chair. “Talk to him,” she murmurs.

“Of course I will. I’ve been out cold for a week. Haven’t really had an opportunity, as of late.”

She glances up at the door then back to me. “Keep in touch when you get out of here, okay?”

”Only if you do.”

“Of course.”

As soon as Bucky steps through the infirmary door, he hears (Y/N) laughing. He sees her looking at Natasha, who has a calm smile on her face, and grinning. Natasha glances up at him and says something he can’t hear, kisses (Y/N)’s forehead, and heads for the door.

“Be nice to her,” she says as she passes. “She’s still tired.”

Bucky frowns. “I know she is.”

Natasha squints at him, looks him over, taking note of the flowers in his hand, nods, and disappears down the hall.

Slightly confused, Bucky walks further into the room and relaxes when (Y/N) turns her smile on him.

“Hey,” she says. “How was work?”

Bucky shrugs. “It was fine. Would’ve rather been here with you, though.”

“Aw, you’re sweet.” She sees the flowers and brightens. “Are those for me?”

He smiles. “Yeah, you need some color to brighten up the place. It’s too sterile.”

“How are you this nice?”

“Pretty sure this is the bare minimum when your girlfriend’s in the hospital.”

“Doesn’t matter,” she gestures for him to come closer. “I think it’s nice.”

“Okay then.” Bucky places the vase on the bedside table and leans down and kisses her. “Hi.”

She smiles. “Hi.”

“How are you feeling?” He plops down in the chair and immediately reaches for her hand. “I heard a lot of people visited you today.”

“Mhm, just about everyone in the tower. Steve brought me lunch.”

“Did he?” She nods and Bucky smiles. “Good. I didn’t know if I’d be able to.”

“It was nice to talk with everyone,” she says. “It’s been a while since I could just pop in and say hi.”

“I guess there had to be a silver lining in there somewhere.” Bucky draws circles on the back of her hand with his thumb. “Is it alright if I ask you something?”

“What is it?”

“Where did you take Mordo?”

“Oh, that. There’s a plane of reality adjacent to ours called the Mirror Dimension. It mirrors the structure of our own, but the two don’t touch, which means that we could fight without putting civilians in danger.”

“Is everything made of glass?”

She shakes her head. “It’s just a mirror image. Everything’s solid and substantial, same as our reality.”

“Right, dumb question.”

“No, it’s not. It’s the Mirror Dimension, mirrors are made of glass, it’s a reasonable line of thinking.”

She says that with such conviction, Bucky can’t help smiling.

“Okay,” he says. “What happened in there then?”

(Y/N) shrugs. “We swatted at each other a bit, I threw him into a building, and then... it all blurs together. Like I remember fighting and him escalating things, but I was just so tired by the end that I barely got out before collapsing.”

“I’m glad you did.”

“So am I.”

“I don’t know why Strange didn’t go in after you,” Bucky grumbles. “Just said we had to wait and trust you, like I don’t already trust you completely. It was like he wanted you to do his job for him or something. I-what?”

“What ‘what’?”

“You’ve got this look on your face.”

“What look?” she asks. “Amusement and pure adoration?”

“I don’t know!”

She laughs. “You’re actually mad at Stephen over this, huh?”

“Yeah, I am.”

(Y/N) smiles, squeezes his hand, and says, “I love you.”

Bucky freezes. “What?”

“I love you, Bucky Barnes,” she repeats.

“You do?”

“You are so kind and soft and determined. How could I not?”

Bucky elvelops her hand in both of his and leans heavily on the side of the bed. He searches her face for any sign of humor or deception. “You’re serious?”

“As a heart attack, sweetheart.” She rolls over onto her side. “This isn’t me asking you to say it back. I just needed to tell you.”

“I appreciate that, but…” He smiles and kisses her hand. “I love you too, (Y/N).”

“Yeah?”

Bucky nods and laughs at the growing smile on her face. “Yeah.”

(Y/N) tugs on his hand and Bucky scoops her up and places her in his lap once he’s situated on the bed. She tucks her head under his chin and pokes his stomach. Bucky laughs.

“You love me,” she murmurs.

“Yeah, I do.” He wraps his arms around her and she relaxes against his chest. “And you love me.”

“Mhm.” She sighs and Bucky kisses her forehead. “Will you stay with me tonight?”

“Of course,” he answers. “I’m not going anywhere.”

And that, my friends, is the end of this story. Thank you guys for being along with me for this ride, I’m so glad that I was able to share it with you. I know that someone will ask about what’ll happen with the Reader’s magic, and in my mind she gets is back when she’s well rested enough to be back on her feet. I promise she’s totally fine!

That being said, thank you so much for making it this far! I’d love to know what you thought about the finale! Do you feel like the ending is satisfying? Does their confession feel like a natural development? What do you think about the reader’s relationship with Natasha? Do they seem close? Do you think Bucky and the Reader will live Happily Ever after? And, most importantly, what’d you think of the series as a whole? I’d love to hear all about it! Be sure to like, reblog, comment, and/or shoot me an ask and tell me all about it!

Tag list:

@ghostlyhamlet​​, @claws-of-vibranium​​, @creaturefeatures101-blog​​, @imagine-assembling-the-avengers​​, @buckysendoftheline​​, @ptprocrastination​​, @1950schick​​, @amayasymone23​​, @arfrona-and-marvel​​, @ek823​​, @fanaticfangirl001​​, @furrywerewolfcollector​​, @kissofvenom922​​, @dawn-phantomhive​​, @fangirlwithasweettooth​​, @mairhof1, @starryeyesbadguys​​, @trap-house-homiecide​​, @buckywhitewolfbarnes​​, @kaepm981, @howdoesoneadult​​, @pcdmesamidala​​, @thefandomplace​​, @sian22redux​​, @skeletoresinthebasement​​, @lady-thor-foster​​, @feelmyroarrrr​​, @jazzcutie​​, @gaytonystark​​, @hermionie-is-my-queen​​, @darling-loki​​, @geeksareunique​​​, @nyxveracity​​​, @lemonadeorange73​​​, @princess-unicorn124​​​, @tofeartheunknown​​​, @avengerscompound​​​

This fic: