#readerhasaquirk

->Female Reader!

->Translation from my German book on Wattpad

Please don't mind my grammar ^^'

English is not my first language and German grammar is a lot different!

Shigaraki and all the other mha characters owns Kohei Horikoshi.

Chapter 1 - Bad Luck

Chapter 2 - Usually

Chapter 3 - Payment

Chapter 4 - Aches and Pains

Chapter 5 - Promise

Chapter 6 - Hands

Chapter 7 - It's okay

For someone who was just complaining about taking too long, he seemed to have a spot in mind much further out than you were anticipating. It was a nice change of pace to see his body seem to relax some while walking in the direction of some place you could only assume was familiar to him. Usually he was always so tense, and so standoffish around the group that he was considered the odd one out. Which given the people the group consisted of, that was almost impressive. His steps seemed languid, yet they showed the precision of certainty behind them. You were almost excited to see where he was going, just to get a small glimpse into the things Dabi is comfortable with. The man himself was a mystery, not only to the league, but to the world it seemed. Nobody, not even the heroes, have been able to track any kind of background on him, and nobody has come up with a name other than some previous aliases from rumors in the underground. You had been hoping to be the one to get close to him, but the guy was a lot like a cactus, and you don’t exactly like getting poked.

You let out a deep sigh, “ Hey Walks-a... Uh.. Dabi?” Right. The nicknames had bothered him. Guess you could make some sort of effort for him in hopes of some progress.

He looks over his shoulder at you for a second before continuing to face a head. “What?”

You try to catch up a little bit, only to fall a couple steps behind him still. “Where exactly are we going? I’m starting to think this is some thinly veiled attempt at luring me to my death.”

He makes a noise like he was holding back some show of amusement. “Maybe I am.”

You click your tongue at him. “Yeah, okay, can we at least eat first? I’m not about to starve for eternity just because you have no patience.”

The small chuckle that carried itself to your ears was just what you were hoping for. “Yeah, we can eat first. Even prisoners get a last meal.”

You snorted. “I couldn’t picture you as a correctional officer even if I tried.”

He shook his head, his heart rate giving away his amusement. He stopped for a second in front of an old run down apartment building, before pulling on the door. “Up we go.”

You took note of the fact that the building appeared to be abandoned. There was no light, except for the small beams that peaked in from the street lights outside. You could hear the crunch of glass under both of your guys feet, and with a quick glance up you could make out just enough of the ceiling to figure out that it mostly came from the broken bulbs overhead. The constant squeaks of floor boards and the musty smell that seemed to get worse the further up the stairwell you guys went made you wish you had paid more attention to the outside of the building. You could pick up on the voices and heartbeats of some people within the building, but you assumed they were only squatters. Or looters, but if the entrance was anything to go by, you were sure they would be disappointed. A quick glance into the window on the doors to the other floors, you could see the place looked like it had been ransacked more times than necessary. And given the condition of these stairs, you could only assume that the amount of people that have come through here was saddening, no matter the reason.

 Dabi opened a door that you could vaguely make out the print of the word ‘ROOF’ on, and stepped out. You followed him only to realize just how many stairs you had to have taken to get this high up when the view of the city below became visible.

You follow him close to the edge and sit down. You watch as he pulls off his terrible excuse for a disguise and sits not far from you. You hand him his food before speaking. “This is an apartment building right? You live here at some point then?”

He gives you a court nod, swallowing his bite. “Something like that.”

You look out over the city below. “I’m guessing by that statement, it was after this place was abandoned.” You watch him nod out of the corner of your eye. It stung more than you would have liked to know he was at one point living in an abandoned building just to have some shelter. You cleared your throat and took a bite of your food, hoping to distract yourself from just how sad that was to you.

“Do you live anywhere better, newbie?” He spared you a couple quick glances before continuing to eat.

You look at him in mild shock with a mouthful of food before blinking and forcing yourself to chew faster. Once you manage to swallow your bite you shrug. "Uh.. kinda? Yeah. I have an apartment nowadays… but before that it was rough."

Dabi takes the time to observe you messing with your food before you take another bite. He can almost see the gears working over the memories in your head before he decides to engage. "Never really pictured you as someone to have had it rough."

You make a face and look at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

He smirks, "You came here all nicely dressed, well mannered, fought with decent hand to hand combat, and you stay away from the bullshit the others get into… you don't match them."

You scoff. "So because I manage to take care of myself, and mind my business, I don't have a rough past?" You roll your eyes, "Just because I present myself that way doesn't mean it's true."

He keeps the amusement at the forefront of his expression while he finishes up his food, watching you finish yours in a more aggravated state.

You sigh, looking out over the city. "Look, I… present myself a certain way… mostly as a way to differentiate myself from my past. I'm not… the crimes and actions I've committed... or even the person I was brought up to be… Truthfully some of it is me just being the person I wish I had got the chance to be… if I hadn't been dealt the cards I was." You laugh a bit before continuing. "At this point I'm just calling the reaper and hoping he doesn't raise the pot."

You look at him then. His face is a raging storm of emotions. He glares out over the city lights, though the glare seems to be directed towards something in mind. His arms rest on bent knees, fists clenching before words are forced through a tense jaw. "I can resonate with that."

You let pity flash across your face before shoving it away. He doesn't seem like the type to want that directed at him anyway. "I'm sorry."

His head snaps towards your direction. Eyes locking in almost a desperate way. "What?"

You give him a smile. "I'm sorry. While I don't think I have anything to do with who you are or your past, I'm sorry. For whatever you went through or had to go through to be where we are now. Nobody deserves to be dealt a losing hand."

The look of confusion and utter adoration flashed across his features before it was gone. Only to be held within his eyes. Almost like nobody had ever told him that, and it was the only thing he ever needed to hear. "We should get back now. We've been gone for too long now."

You tried not to let the disappointment show on your face. But it was hard when you felt like you were finally managing to tread some water with him, only to be ragdolled when a wave came in to knock you back under.

The walk back down the numerous stairs dragged on far longer than they did going up. You watched your feet, blinking back the stinging tears of frustration. You couldn’t get a good read of Dabi. You weren’t sure if you were making any sort of headway in forming some kind of connection with him. It was harder to accept than you thought. You kept your emotions hidden, matching the loud echo of the steps in the empty stairwell with the timing of your sniffles and just hoped that you could get it together before the bottom.

For you, connecting with others was usually easy. You had seen enough things in life, and shaped yourself in a way that you could usually manipulate your personality into someone they could find comfort in. Then from there it was simple enough to build some sort of relationship with them. You would tell them the things you think they wanted or needed to hear, and while you weren’t typically lying to them, it mostly slipped in unexpectedly early. Those comments were often preceded or followed by telling them little bits of personal information that makes them think you are allowing them to know something private and makes you look vulnerable in a way that brings them peace. It became second nature for you to make connections this way, but it wasn’t working with Dabi. You were at a loss. You didn’t know how to connect any other way. It was beginning to feel like you were on thin ice, because it was going to be hard to find new ways while trying not to mess up enough to push him away.

“We are going to take a few shortcuts to get back to base. Shigaraki and the others should be back by now, and I can’t imagine they are happy we aren’t where we should be.” His voice sounded so faded in comparison to your screaming thoughts. “Hey, are you listening? Keep up.”

You barely nodded your head at him before he rolled his eyes and led you out of the building.

You barely remember much of the walk back. You kept quiet, stuck in your own head again. You were starting to feel like your reactions to this whole thing wasn’t normal. Maybe you would talk to Fox when you had a chance.

You managed to barely keep up with Dabi’s pace. He was walking quickly, and actually knew where he was going. You relied on the sound of his heartbeat and his scent to follow him, which was probably your saving grace because you weren’t actually sure where you were but were too lost in thought to fully keep up with him. You could feel him looking back at you every once in a while, chalking it up to making sure you hadn’t run off on him, but you just couldn’t pull yourself out of your own head.

“Shit.”

You glanced up and watched as he backed into a dark spot close to the mouth of the alleyway. You weren’t sure what he was doing till you picked up on the sound of other heart beats coming towards you guys. You looked at him and noticed the speed of his heart beat. You were going to ask what was going on before he whispered to you. “Heroes. Move.” You blinked at him a couple times before moving towards him. You could hear their footsteps now. You stood in front of him and whispered back.

“Do you trust me?”

The look he gave you was full of annoyance and a bit of desperation. His whisper had more of a bite to it now. “Do I have a choice? They will see or hear us if we go back. And I can’t exactly walk past them. If they come down this alleyway, we are stuck fighting them. The options aren’t all that great.”

You could hear their voices now. They were close. Dabi began pulling his clothes in ways that would better conceal his features, his heart rate spiking the closer they got. You were planning to do something dumb. That could very well get you burned, but it would hopefully keep them from coming down this way. Most heroes go looking for people that could be hiding, and tend to ignore the things in plain sight. So you stood in front of Dabi, who hadn't taken his eyes off where the heroes would be passing, and sucked in all the air you could and waited for the timing to be right.

The way he grabbed your face would have been hilarious in any other situation. Your cheeks were squished in, lips pursed against his slowly heating palm. Blinking up at him you watched his eyes fall into a squint before he spoke, each word punctuated with a light squeeze of his fingers. "Keep your voice down." He shoved you back, letting your face go in the process.

Your face felt tingly, but you shook it off before following him again. "What do you mean he was captured? What happened? Are we going to get him out?"

Dabi groans slightly. "We aren't going to be able to get him back from a high security prison, Newbie. We would lose more people trying to do that."

You frowned. "Yeah, I guess that's true…” You thought to yourself a moment before speaking again. “ So what even happened?"

He shrugged. "He went out looking for something. And got caught."

You looked at him and sighed. "Could you stop withholding information from me? What was he looking for?"

Dabi smirked. "Where's the fun in that?" You groan and his smirk widens. "He was apparently looking for some sort of 'power' All For One left behind for the boss. We aren't sure what he was talking about or what it was. According to reports, he was seen and people called it in. They tracked him down before he finished what he was doing. We didn't have time to stop it."

You watch your feet. "That… really puts a damper on things."

He nods. "So we are walking."

You laugh a bit. "I can see that."

Walking with him to the Doctor was much less tense now that the silence had been broken. You both were still on edge from your previous encounter with each other. You knew you overstepped a boundary with him, and while you typically like to respect peoples boundaries, you also knew he would have fought them right then and there if you hadn’t. You two avoided the topic all together, but with the ice finally cracked, it felt more comfortable now than it did in the beginning.

As much as you hated to admit it, you couldn’t say you didn’t miss the closeness. Or that you didn’t enjoy watching him study your face. Or the way his body seemed to subconsciously melt into yours. You knew from watching him with the group that he never really engaged in any kind of physical contact. Hell, if he could he would avoid even brushing up against someone. So it was interesting to see him seem so touch starved, if only for a moment in a dirty alleyway.

Even though you still felt like you were biting back words that were trying to force their way out of your throat, you didn't feel like you were completely walking on eggshells anymore. That was enough for now.

~~~

Dabis little warning of don't wander off started to hit a little differently when you took a good look around the Doctor's 'office'. 

The comment had bothered you at first. The patronizing undertones rubbing you the wrong way. All while it made you feel like you were bothering him. That by just being there you were a burden to him, even though you didn’t really have a choice.

Then with the sight of those creatures in the tubes, you were beginning to convince yourself that it was his way of looking out for you. But logically, he probably just didn’t want to deal with the repercussions if you were to become a new experiment.

You took your time following him over the wires that blanketed the floor. Each clump grouped together running not only to each individual tube, but seemingly into other rooms. Fully aware that the room held a suffocating amount of unsettling energy, you tried not to spook yourself further by thinking of what the other rooms could be holding behind their walls.

The dim lighting did wonders highlighting the doctor's creations, while concealing himself just enough to set you on edge. You kept glancing at Dabi, trying to gauge his reactions, hoping to find some direction on how to carry yourself, only to be met with his usual composure of indifference. There was a moment of time before the doctor spoke, that only proved to intensify the almost grotesque sounds that the incubation tubes made. Each one sounded like an aquarium that was powered by much more tech savvy machines then you could really understand.

You knew from Fox that the Doctor was one man who had some unusual skills and a knack for the more unethical side of medicine, but nothing you had come up with in your mind at the time would ever compare to this. These creations… they looked to be human. At least, at one point they were. It took a second for that unsettled feeling to leave you but once it did, you started to take them all in for what they were. You could see that some of the creatures were still closer to humans than others, leaving you to believe they were newer to his collection. Their bodies looked to be mangled in a way, like they couldn’t really handle what they were being put through for transformation. And while you weren’t usually one to dwell on whether someone deserved what they got or not, something tells you these people may not have deserved this fate.

“I see you are admiring my work.” The voice pulls you from your thoughts abruptly. You focus on keeping yourself from seeming jumpy and let your eyes slide to make contact with him.

“Not something I can say I have seen before. It’s intriguing to see the clear changes over time.”

He nods, the grin barely being held back from looking like a child being praised for a drawing they had completed. “They are original works from All For One and I. I would be more surprised if you had said you had seen something even remotely similar. Though they were mostly started around the same time, some are just… processing slower than others.” You hum, taking a few small steps closer to what appears to a slower one, nodding to Dabi. The doctor shifts his attention to him, “Shigaraki mentioned you would be coming. He said you had something for me?”

You let their conversation slip from your attention, choosing instead to focus on the creatures.

All of them held a more sturdy physique, and some of them held an odd air of familiarity to them. You took your time looking over them. You weren’t sure how exactly they were created but from what little you had learned about their abilities from previous uses, and their now confirmed ties to All For One, you could assume these were far more complex than the ones you had heard about previously.  

You let yourself picture them moving, fighting, trying to focus on what powers they could possibly have that would be necessary for Shigaraki’s advancements through the villain world. All of it left you feeling uneasy. Sure you loved Fox, and yeah you always said you would do anything for her, but you were starting to think that maybe you guys were in a little too deep and were in too far over your heads. This was a bit of a slap in the face and you weren’t seeing how this whole thing would end up being anything but a suicide mission when apparently creatures of this nature were going to be needed.

You made it over to the last of the twelve chambers before Dabi made himself known beside you. “Newbie. Let’s go.”

Your skin, which was already sporting that cold and clammy feeling, raised with goosebumps at the tone of his voice. Something had changed during their conversation, and while you had noticed them slip out of the room for a bit, you didn’t think he would come back so hostile. You took in your surroundings and gave him a court nod before following him back the way you came.

From his body language and the look on his face you could tell there was something he was mulling over in his head. He didn't seem like the type to want to talk about it but you had some questions about the creatures and just hoped that wouldn't set him off.

"Hey… Dabi?" He only gave you a short grunt in response so you continued. "I uh… it's not really my place but what… were those things? And where was the twelfth one?"

He rolled his neck a bit before glancing at you. "They are high end nomus. He has activated one of them, and once it has stabilized he wants me to test it out."

Huh. At least he was giving you more information at a time now.

You try to think of why that could have possibly made him seem this uncomfortable but came up short. "I see. Is that a problem for you?"

Maybe it was the subtle challenge you offered or maybe it was the fact that the conversation proved a decent distraction but as you watched the smirk return to his face you couldn't be bothered to care. He spoke much more freely now, with a certain glee he was lacking before. "Oh no, Newbie. It won't be a problem. I can promise that."

~~~

It wasn’t going to be long before the high end was considered stable and Dabi was going to be sent to return to the Doctor and test it out. Since you had returned to the hideout he seemed less on edge and more like he was hyping himself up for something. He stayed near Shigaraki, and they kept their conversation relatively hush-hush. While you know if you wanted to you could focus on their voices and hear everything they were saying, it just didn’t seem like it was anything you should really concern yourself with at this time. Instead of standing by and watching them, you went to find Fox, you had some questions for her anyway.

When Fox came into view she looked… frazzled at best. She was tucked away in a back area, and had set up shop on some crates. Her hair looked like she had put her hands into it with much more frustration than usual, and her face seemed permanently contorted to show the stress she must be feeling. You almost felt bad when your voice startled her. “I was unaware that I was signing my life away with a group doomed to be killed off one by one.”

She took a second to look you over before swallowing thickly. “If it is any consolation, neither was I.”

You made your way to her then, observing the large spread of papers before her. They looked to be an assortment of maps, and printouts of pictures and information of what you could only hope was other villains. “What the fuck is going on then?”

She went to start scratching at her neck, something she had unfortunately picked up from Shigaraki in the past few weeks, only for you to swat her hand. “I… I’m not sure anymore. At least, I don’t think I am. Look, this started as him just wanting to take All Might down. And he did… Sort of I guess. But now it has evolved, which I knew it would, into changing the very way hero society is. I just… I didn’t realize just how he planned to do this. Y/n, I promise I didn’t think this was going to be how things were going to go.”

You watch as she spirals a bit, continuing to sift through the papers before sighing. “This is going to be a bloodbath, you know that right? One with us in the center of it all.”

She pauses, her eyes meeting yours. “I don’t see it going any other way anymore honestly.” You slump back against a crate, her frustration almost easing you a bit when she continues. “I heard Dabi is going to be testing one of the Doctor's creations soon. What… uh… what do you think of them?”

You wiggle your jaw. “Were they human?” Nothing but silence follows. “Thought so.” She ducks her head a bit, attempting to hide the shame. “They seem… interesting?” Your tone sounded full of discomfort even to you and when she snorted you took it as a good sign that she noticed. “I uh… I’m not sure I exactly agree with the way those things are created but if things go the way we think… they could be our best hope at some point.”

She sighs, one from deep within, that holds way more tension than it should. “So… You aren’t going to leave?”

You make a face, choosing to focus on the skin around your nails. “Truthfully, if I had half a mind I would but… Between you… and him… I don’t think I could if I wanted to.”

She stops all movement for a moment before taking her chance to really look at you. She seems to stare into your eyes a bit too long before offering you a half smile. “The soulmate bond is really starting to get to you huh?” You could only shift on your feet before she continued. “Look, I’m not sure if Shigaraki or Dabi want me to say anything, and truthfully, I probably shouldn’t… But Dabi is set to leave here in a bit to test out one of the new Nomus, and if it goes to plan he is taking it to some sort of trap set up by a recruit prospect he picked up after causing trouble in Musutafu a while back.”

You snap your head to her at that. “Musutafu huh? What kind of trap?”

She gives a look before sucking her teeth at you. “Dabi is good at what he does Y/n, he doesn’t need you to protect him just because you are around now.”

You squeeze your eyes shut and let out an overly slow breath. “Fox. I really need you to tell me where he is going.” You weren’t sure if it was your tone, which admittedly didn’t leave much room for argument, or if it was the small rise in temperature that caused her to stutter out the location.

~~~

Fukuoka wasn’t really a place you would have had in mind when you thought of testing out a man made weapon of this nature, but if it got the job done you guess it couldn't be too bad. You could see the appeal to pick that spot if you were wanting to make a huge impact with an attack. The city had a large population, large buildings bound to be full of people, shopping malls that were also packed, and was pretty common among residents and foreigners alike. An attack of any kind in that city was almost guaranteed to pull a huge coverage with not only the people but the media. Now that you think about it, that could be exactly what Dabi and the Doctor were wanting.

By the time you made it to Fukuoka you were unhappy to say the least. Anger had clouded your judgment and while you seemed to make it here in an almost record time, you had no idea where in the city this was all going to take place because you didn’t ask that particular question. Sure, you would probably have a pretty accurate idea once things popped off but you weren’t exactly here to watch the action. No, you were here for one reason and one reason only. To see just who was worth the League going to this extent to recruit. To see just who was inadvertently the reason your sister was harmed. Boy were you hoping they were worth it.

You heard the emergency broadcast before you got close enough to hear the screams of terror. Quickly finding it much easier to navigate the chaos from the rooftops you chose to stay off the ground till you could find Dabi. Once you got close enough to see the damage that was spreading you stopped moving closer. You weren’t really wanting to get involved but the nice view point from your vantage spot made it convenient to get the information you wanted without being spotted. You watched the buildings around the Nomu slowly become more destroyed, every large hit and fire blast making you wince.

You can’t say you were shocked to see the new Number One taking this head on. But you also can’t say you weren’t pleased to watch him struggle to do so. The High End that was currently wreaking havoc was definitely giving that man a run for his money, and with each new quirk the Nomu seemed to show, the moment of shock on Endeavors face alone was almost worth making this trip.

The heat in the area was intense, causing the whole fight to feel more like a blur. You tried to keep track of what quirks the High End showed off, but you started to lose track after five or so. 

It seemed to have some sort of storage quirk, but you only saw it be used for the smaller weaker nomus he released from his body, so maybe it was only a cloning type of quirk? You couldn’t be sure, and the smaller numos looked to have been taken down by other nearby heroes.

What did come as a small surprise to you was to see the Number Two hero present. Sure the guy was conventionally pretty, and truthfully decently skilled, you just weren’t sure with his attitude how he really made it to the spot he was in. Guess that's why he seems so close to Endeavor. 

With the High Ends ever evolving fighting style, he took to the sky as well with what you could only make out as small jets from his back somewhere. It was interesting to see what looked to be an internal struggle for the creature to figure out how to use all the things he was now equipped with. It took some trials and a bit of error but he seemed to be bringing some other quirks into play to keep himself in the fight. You could only really make out his arms changing shape and a regeneration quirk taking place through the hits.

It took a bit longer than you thought it would for both Endeavor and Hawks to start to figure out a decent strategy to take the nomu down, and once they started to overtake the fight, the nomu became almost feral. It made you a little sick to see how backed in the corner this nomu felt, and knowing this was the end for somebody whose body was forcibly taken and used for this, you stood to take your leave. You made your way to the other side of the building, realizing you had ended up following the fight much further in than you had hoped, letting the final blows be done without your attention.

The cheers from the civilians hadn’t even reached their peak when the heat quickly rose to a much more familiar level. Dabi. You all but sprinted back towards the vantage point you had. What could he possibly be doing down there? The fight was over, and you were sure the High End would have been toast by now so he couldn’t have been trying to salvage it right? You watched him draw a ring of fire, effectively caging the two heroes in with him. Even with Endeavors injuries, and Hawks down quite a few feathers, you knew that they wouldn’t go down easy. You almost wish you had chosen a ground point for this, maybe then you could hear what was going on.

Dabi only sent a few attacks before Mirko arrived, which appeared perfectly timed with the appearance of the black liquid. Even so, Dabi’s scream of “Todoroki Enji” was enough to tell you that his qualms with the hero were much more personal than you had originally thought.

~~~

Sometimes, you hated your mothers quirk. Vampirism essentially branded you evil from a young age. But right now, you thanked whatever gods were listening that you could use it to find Dabi now that he had been pulled from the scene. You knew from previous jobs that Dabi had a tendency to linger in the area more than most villains would dare. Almost like the man had a bit of regret in his 'wrong' doings and wanted to make sure things were taken care of before leaving. So you made your way towards the edge of the city. If you remember right there was a neighboring city that harbored quite a few construction sites and abandoned buildings. You should start your search there.

You would think that a man as wanted as Dabi would do better about watching his back, but with a long range quirk like his, his confidence and lack of care was almost justified. It was similar to childsplay finding him, and somehow easier to follow the man to wherever he was going. You kept yourself hidden by staying toward the tops of the alleyways and buildings, doing your absolute best on keeping your footsteps and landings silent. All you could seem to think about was that you needed to work on your stamina because it was a lot harder to control your breathing than you remember it being. You had stopped to catch your breath and stretch a little bit when you watched Dabi slip into a nearby building.

You let out an exhausted sigh, “What is he even doing?”

You hopped down from your spot, slowly making your way around the building, finding a broken window to peak inside. It took every ounce of self control to hold back the gasp of betrayal when you watched Hawks come into view. You could feel the heat rise to the surface and did your best to breathe through it, you couldn’t afford to get seen just yet. Their conversation shocked you, and finding out Dabi was working with a hero, recruit or not, hit a nerve. So you waited. You watched as they both walked off their separate ways before taking off after Dabi.

You had followed him mostly out of the area before dropping down audibly behind him. “Shigaraki is aware you are working with a hero?”

His body had tensed, fire dancing on his fingertips when he spun around. The flames dissipated after one look at you. “You shouldn’t go poking around in other people's business, Newbie.”

You leaned against a wall, crossing your arms for comfort. “You didn’t answer my question Dabi.” His name slipped through with more venom than you had anticipated.

He took slow, calculated steps. Making his way towards you now. “Shigaraki is very aware. But I don’t see where you think you need to be.”

You scoff. “What? I can’t worry about our members?”

He chuckles, full of condescending doubt. “Oh, I really don’t think that is why you went through all this trouble. Tell me Newbie, you got an obsession brewing for me?” He stood before you now, looking down at you, like he knew everything.

You stood up straight, your crossed arms pressing against his chest. You leaned your head just enough forward to be unbearably close to his face before whispering. “I really really hope, your little recruit, was worth harming an innocent civilian Dabi. That's all I really care about.”

The next morning crept up much faster than you would have liked. The sun was barely making it over the horizon and you knew your time to strike was nearing quickly. You made your way to the room that Toga claimed as hers and slipped in. You focused on the slow beating of her heart, deciding how far into sleep she really was, before you silently made your way to her sleeping form. In one swift movement you covered her mouth and spoke slowly, “Shhh. It’s just me. We need to go. We have to get that student and get you transformed into them before they start school today. We only have about two hours so we need to move fast.”

She struggles against you, to no prevail, before you come into view for her. She lets her fear and shock wear off before rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. “Jeez, you think you could have woke me up in a less scary way? I could have stabbed you!”

You giggle quietly backing away from her. “Awh too bad you didn’t. Would have been a perfect start to our day. You would get to see me all bloody, and get to see me cauterize myself.” You make your way to her door and pat the frame. “Get ready, we leave when you are ready.”

She gives you a confused look and cocks her head to the side. You can hear her mumble to herself as you leave her room. “Cauterize? How would she…”

Meanwhile you make your way to Fox, who jumps up at the sight of you and beckons you to follow her to a room furthest away from everyone. “So, I got all the things you asked for. Shigaraki has contact with the doctor still and he was able to get us a ventilator instead of just an intubation kit.” Shigaraki makes his appearance at the doorway of the room, almost like he heard his name and had to show himself. She smiles happily at him before continuing. “Though we are still confused as to what this was needed for and what your plan is…”

Shigaraki butts in then. “Yes, I would like to know what you have planned and what will be needed by the rest of the League. We can’t afford to lose people at a time like this Y/n, so tell me Fox was right about you and that this is a decent plan.”

You halt checking over all the equipment to look towards Shigaraki. “I constructed a plan that should allow Toga to get a decent sample of Izuku’s blood.” You give him a look that cuts off whatever doubtful statement he had geared up to say. “I say ‘should’ allow because that part is entirely on her. But I trust in each of the team members' abilities enough to believe she can pull this off.”

Fox takes a stance next to Shigaraki and nods. “Okay, that's fair, right? So what is the plan? What have you guys been working on?”

You smile then. “I took Toga with me to meet with two contacts I have from way before. One, was a teacher at Shiketsu High. The one you and I went to school with. She gave me these files.” You pull the folder out of your bag and hand them to Shigaraki. “The folder contains information about the students from her school that will be attending the Provisional License Exam today. It has information about their quirks and where they usually are before school. I took note of the information Toga and I would need and figured maybe you could find something useful within the rest of the information so I decided giving it to you could be better than destroying it.”

Shigaraki smirks. “This is usually protected information at a hero school. And this contact just handed it to you?”

You sigh. “Why does everyone always ask that? Do they just forget I’m not some wannabe villain? I have contacts that I have worked with for years, and have gained their trust and built a relationship up with them. Yes. This contact just handed this information to me because it was me.” You finish your check over the equipment, which didn’t come as a shock to you that it was all there and in decent shape. “Now. The second contact we met with was one I’m not as close to admittedly. I took some medical field related classes at a community college at one point because my groups and I tend to get injured sometimes and I felt that taking some of those classes I could get a better idea of how to treat us all. He happened to be seated next to me in one of my classes that I took and we exchanged numbers in case one of us had to miss a lesson. The number exchange was originally for notes, homework assignments, and what labs were coming up, but over time my dealings started to take a more dangerous turn. So I found myself asking hypotheticals’ about how would you fix this injury or what would you do if this person took or drank this. I think for a while he took it as a joke. Maybe he thought I was trying to be over-prepared? Or maybe he thought I was an over-thinker?” You shook your head. “Either way, the poor kid realized all his advice never was a hypothetical situation when I had asked him one about a minor face laceration and came into class the next day after using his advice on myself. Poor kid, pretty much turned as white as his hair.”

Shigaraki raises an eyebrow. “And what could he have possibly helped with?”

You smile again. “He gave me the sedative and all its information so that I can put someone in a medically induced coma. Among some other things. But those are more for a ‘just in case’ situation.”

Fox and Shigaraki become tense and the air thickens. Fox is the first to break it. “Medically induced- Are you even trained to do that? Who’s going under and why?”

You shrug. “I mean, you should know that I’m not trained to do it. But I have instructions, so the kid shouldn’t die. Not with the ventilator and the monitors.”

Shigaraki gains a large grin. “Kid?”

You look at him, nodding. “Yeah. Kid. Toga and I are going to take a student from Shiketsu High and bring her here. Our plan is to drug her and grab her on her way to the store near her house, the one she stops at everyday to get breakfast. Then we bring her here, put her out, collect a large amount of blood for Toga and then she will go to the exam as her. From that point it is up to her to find Izuku and get a blood sample before the test is over. She has an extraction point a little ways away from the Exam center and is confident she can do it.”

Shigaraki looks almost as shocked as he does impressed. “Seems like a carefully done plan for such a short amount of time. School starts in a couple hours right? How are you getting around?”

Toga finds her way into the room before you can answer. “Kurogiri offered his help for anything transportation wise. Isn’t that so nice of him?”

Fox sighs and rubs her face. “This is a good plan, maybe even a great one but it is still risky. Who are you taking?”

Toga smiles and does a small twirl. “Second Year student Camie Utsushimi!”

You smile at Toga. “She has an illusion type quirk so we were thinking that could give Toga a little bit to work with in hopes of her blending in more easily. Other than transportation from Kurogiri, this should be an in and out mission for Toga. There will be no need to risk the other members getting involved.”

You watched him stare at you with wide eyed anticipation. That feeling was overwhelming for the both of you, and mixed in with pure anxiety. The thundering sound of his heartbeat made it hard to focus on the sounds of the heroes, but you couldn’t let yourself be any more distracted than you were. Not when you could already feel his body heat seeping into your clothes. Warming your soul in a way his quirk never did. Not when you could feel the warm quick breaths he let out across your face. Letting you almost taste the smokey whiskey on his tongue. Not when all you could smell was every bit of him. The stale smell of burnt flesh, the blood coursing through his veins, and the subtle smell of cologne. Not when your whole body felt like it was buzzing. The close proximity to your soulmate was making everything feel so much… more. The physical contact just made this so much harder than you thought it would.

When the heroes had passed by with only a few disgusted comments about drunk hookups, you were actually thankful for Dabi’s dumb disguise and the amount of darkness within his spot in the alleyway. From the glance you were able to sneak in at them, they looked to be young, and probably new. You could only assume they were looking for something bigger to help put their names on the billboard, but you couldn’t even really see who they were. When their heartbeats were finally out of earshot, you pulled back immediately and began the string of apologies that were going to flow from your mouth until you were sure Dabi wouldn't freak out.

But before you could get out much of anything the switch had been flipped already. The way he yelled at you sent you stumbling back into the adjacent wall. Knowing you wouldn't be able to bring yourself to hurt him, you felt scared of a man for the first time in a long time. You could feel the nerves in your body begin to fry as you started to spiral into panic. You felt how fast your heart was beating, like it was trying to jump out your chest. The way your breathing began to speed up, like you couldn’t pull enough oxygen into your lungs. And it was starting to feel like someone was stacking weights on your chest, the weight felt crushing. With whatever look that had painted itself across your face, the anger that had been flowing through Dabi dissipated almost as quickly as it had appeared. There was a stare off for a moment that lasted a lifetime before you forced yourself to ask to leave. All he gave you was a nod before leading the way back to base.

Tensions being high when you arrived back at base would be understating the amount of anxiety that was flooding the room. Fox full force runs straight into you, holding and squeezing you for dear life. You hugged her back, your body tensing through the minor shakes when you heard Dabi walk past the two of you. Fox only had time to pull back and give you a questioning look before Shigaraki spoke up.

"Where were you two?"

The attention of the room shifted to Dabi. He only shrugged before answering. "Out."

Shigaraki began to lightly scratch his neck. "You were told not to leave the base."

Dabi glared at him. "There's nothing to eat here. So we left. It's not like I let the bitch out of my sight."

You and Fox both grimaced at the brash manner of referring to you. She started playing with your hair before speaking to Shigaraki. "He is correct… There really isn't much to eat here." She looks at you, worry present within her eyes. "Though a text letting us know would have been helpful."

Dabi only rolled his eyes, choosing to walk away. You just looked at Shigaraki and mumbled. "I'm sorry… I wasn't aware we weren't supposed to leave. It won't happen again." Shigaraki merely waved you off and went back to conversing with Kurogiri. Fox followed you to your room, watching the way you nervously messed with your clothes the whole way.

"Y/n… did something happen?" She pulled you to sit on your bed and faced you. Her features were soft and encouraging, but you couldn't help but feel a little cornered still.

"Uh, I mean. Not like… really. I did want to talk to you about something though." You make yourself comfortable, while being mindful of leaving her space as well. Fox tilts her head a little before nodding, so you continue. "Everything is… intense. With him I mean."

Fox pulls her brows in. "I'm… not sure I understand the question there."

You groan, loud and long, enough to cause Fox to giggle at you before you sigh and try again. "I just. Ugh. Is it like that with you and Shigaraki? Everything is so… fuck… intense? The way you feel around him, the way you react to things, I seriously don't feel like myself when I'm around him. I haven't, since I met him, Fox. I feel like I'm losing it. Is that normal? What should I do?"

She blinks rapidly at the influx of questions, before a laugh bubbles up from her throat. "I mean… I don't know if it's normal but yeah that's about how it felt with Shigaraki at first. It's a lot different now and we as a couple are different when it's just us. But Y/n… what you do now is based on what you want."

You stare at her before looking to your ceiling. "What do you mean?"

Fox mimics your position before sighing. "How you deal with this is going to be based on the outcome you want. Look, if you want to end up with him, you are going to want to be whatever he wants you to be because that's who you are as a person. If you want him to hate you, you would purposely do things to make that happen. But you also have to keep in mind the risks… we… don't get to have the fairy tale happy ending most people do. So if you end up with him, it will always just be dating. I don't know what all you want in life on the domestic side of things but there won't be a lot of the typical stuff… No pretty ring, no beautiful wedding, no kids and happy life in a cute little house. If you want him to hate you, you will have to be able to live with your soulmate never wanting anything to do with you. It's… what you want, is where you start with this."

You look at her, your expression completely deadpan before the smile breaks out across your face. "God I missed you."

She looks at you, her smile matching yours. "I'm serious Y/n! What do you want to come from this?"

The question was simple really, ‘What do you want from this soulmate connection?’ but there it was, heavy and full of variables. You knew that you weren’t sure you could ever fully leave this kind of lifestyle behind, and that didn’t seem like something that a life of domestic bliss could really fit in with. But you also didn’t think you could deal with not having some kind of connection with that man, even though any kind of positive one would be a miracle at this point. You could feel Fox drilling holes into your head with the concentration she was putting into watching your face. You mull over the question, mouth opening and closing a few times before finding the words to describe what you felt. “I think… I want him to decide.”

Fox lets a small gasp slip before covering her mouth. “Y-you're just going to tell him? Just like that?”

Both fear and shock cross your features, as you wave your arms in front of you, stumbling over your words. “Wha-NO. Why-Wha. Fox. No. God no. That… Sounds like a terrible idea.”

You both breathe deeply for a second, the sudden rise of energy making you both a little shaken. You play with your fingers and glance at her face before trying again. “I was thinking more like letting him make some sort of relationship with me, IF he wants to that is, and let it go from there. I… I want this to be real. If my life is going to change in any way, I want the foundation to be real. I don’t want him to feel any sort of obligation to know me or be around me or with me just because of the soulmate connection. I want him to decide. That way, I can live with whatever the outcome is, knowing it’s what he wanted.”

Fox takes in every detail she can in that moment before asking. “Will you ever tell him? Or are you just going to let him find out?”

You shrugged. "I don't plan on telling him… not for a while at least. But if someone else does or he figures it out then I'll deal with that when we get to it."

She nods, the look on her face somber. "I hope that he doesn't get upset that you knew and didn't say anything sooner."

You look at her, and then the floor. "Yeah… me too."

It had already been late when Fox left your room, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to fall asleep till exhaustion forced your eyes to close. When you were able to finally pry them back open the base was louder than it had been in quite some time. You could feel the stiffness of your body before you even made a move to get out of bed. With a quick stretch and change of clothes, you made your way out to the common area. You rubbed your eyes, attempting to adjust to the amount of light, and talking. “What the fuck is going on in here?”

Toga was the first person you made eye contact with and you could see the visible look of relief when she registered it was you. “Oh my god… You’re back!” The hug she forced you into felt like she was trying to squeeze the pieces of herself back together. You started to look around, you hand caressing the back of her head.

You send a questioning look to Shigaraki and the small box he was holding carefully before turning your attention back to Toga. “Hey, I’ve been back for a little over a week. You were the one that was gone this time.”

She laughs, a small sniffle mixed in with it. “Sorry… we had some things to take care of. We are.. All back now.”

You give her a sad smile. “I see that. So what happened? What did you guys end up doing?”

She jumps back, her hands becoming another part of her speaking. “It was crazy! But I got to see Deku and the others! Then there was this big fight, but Twice and I were more focused about trying to get out without being caught to get to see everything. Oh! Apparently Boss and Mr. Compress took Overhauls arms, right after Dabi killed a hero!”

You blink, nodding your head. “That… Sounds like so much… fun?”

Dabi scoffs. “Obviously you have never been in a car with the lizard.”

Spinner looks at him, ready to argue before Shigaraki speaks. “Hey, you have worked within the Yakuza before, correct?”

The mood shifts, the joy of reunion being brought down to a simmer, while the on edge feeling is back as if it was boiling. You nod to him, your expression giving away your skeptical feelings. “Mm, yeah, some time before the League. Why?”

He motions you forward, and you approach with caution, feeling the attention focus on the two of you. “Ever seen anything like these?”

The box he hands you is small, you glance back at him before opening it. You roll a bullet between your finger tips. You look back at Shigaraki. “Not in person. And not this variant. I’ve seen something similar before. The quirk enhancing drug that's pretty common on the black market, Trigger or Boost or something. The vials for that look kind of like this.”

Shigaraki nods. “These are the quirk erasure bullets Overhaul created.”

You raise a brow. “Huh. So the bastard finally figured it out?”

The room gets quiet, and Shigaraki tenses up. “You knew about them?”

You smile, only offering a shrug. “Not… exactly. I worked with a different group of Yakuza than the one Overhaul was a part of. But word of him spread fast. He… Thinks of quirks as a disease. Brought by rats I think was his theory? I’m not fully sure. But he wanted to get rid of them, which was always ironic since he had one himself. He became a topic of conversation when he took over the Shie Hassaiki under seemingly questionable means.” You put the bullet back into the case and close it. You set it down on the table in front of Shigaraki before continuing. “He had made some promises to create a way to destroy quirks. Something about selling them to villains to use against heroes and society and then after a while release the antidote at extreme prices. He wanted to restore power to the Yakuza, but not many people were on board with his ideas.” You look at the case one last time before shaking your head. “Nobody in the Yakuza would have let him continue on for so long if they knew how he was doing it. Those people have morals and codes they live by. I’m just… Shocked he made it this far. And that he even managed to do it.” You rubbed your face. “Did you get the antidote?”

Shigaraki frowned, his hand reaching for his neck, fingers twitching. “I wasn’t aware there was one. He just said that he had finished the permanent bullets not long before we met.”

You sigh. “Then I wouldn’t use them.”

Twice scoffs. “Then why did we need them? She’s right, it's way too risky to touch those things!”

You point to Twice, giving Shigaraki a look of ‘see I’m right’ before he speaks. “We can give them to Doctor Garaki. Maybe he can figure out what to do with them.” He looks at Dabi. “You, take them to the doctor, and bring her with you.” He gestures at you.

Dabi glares, annoyance ever present on that man's face. “Why am I taking her?”

Shigaraki goes to scratch his neck again, but both you and Fox reach out to stop him. “Because you are still in charge of her for now. The others and I have things to get done.”

Dabi gave a look as if he was attempting to kill that man from far away before growling out. “Fine.” He came forward, snatching the box from in front of Shigaraki. “Let’s go, Newbie.”

The silence in the walk was suffocating. Neither of you felt like you could speak given the situation last night. It was like you were back to square one. You put up with the silence for as long as you could, but it was starting to consume you. Plus, you were really tired of walking, so you broke the silence. “Sooo… Why are we walking?”

Dabi gave you a slightly shocked glance. “Because we don’t have a car.”

You didn’t think you could roll your eyes any harder than you did. “Oh ha ha. I mean it. Why didn’t we have Kurogiri make a portal or something?”

Dabi stops walking, the look he gave you was one of caution. “Newbie… He was captured today.”

You're pretty sure your body was doing everything it could to stay functional. Because on one hand, it seems to be trying its hardest to use your soulmate's quirk to burn off everything you put into it, while on the other hand, trying not to roast you from the inside out with it. Which just meant that your few days, or so, of detoxing went by in a heated mess of tiny bits of awareness, and lots of sleep. The only solace you were granted from the hellhole your body turned itself into was the cold glasses of water shoved into your hands by someone every few hours. By the time you finally were able to wake up enough to be semi functional, you were in such need of a shower and change of clothes that you almost wished your body had failed to keep you alive.

You're barely able to blink Fox into focus as she rushes to help you sit up before she speaks. “Jesus, Y/n, don’t you think you took it a bit far this time?”

You force your body to shrug at her, only being able to focus on how heavy everything feels. Your words come out much more muffled and slurred than they did in your head. “I’m.. Sorry.”

She has that never wavering frown of disappointment on again. The one she used to wear every other time she found you in a state similar to this. “Come on, let’s just… Get you cleaned up. You need to eat something. I know it’s been a week since you have been back, and judging by the fact that this shirt you are wearing doesn't appear to be the same color it was meant to be, I could bet money it’s been way longer than that.”

The bewildered look you throw her way at the word week was almost enough to make her crack a smile. Almost.

The shuffle to the bathroom was… awkward at best. You kept trying to get your feet under you but your body seemed out of sync with your head. Fox never said a word about it though. The only thing she let slip past her lips were small little spouts of encouragement, and call outs of just how much further. With a lot of your weight resting on her, and her sheer determination, she managed to get you in there and sit you on the lip of the tub.

“Uh, I’m going to need you to hang tight for a sec, okay? I honestly didn’t think you would be back so soon and did not think about grabbing some clothes for you. You’re not going to like… fall in here if I leave right?” She gives you a look that could be described as a mother questioning her rambunctious child.

You tilt your head up to her, your body swaying back a bit before you catch yourself by tensing your whole body. “Just… Be quick.” The words felt like syrup coming out of an almost empty bottle. She gave you a determined nod and walked out swiftly.

Minutes passed and you felt more and more confused as to where she was. Your room you had been staying in here at base wasn’t that far from this bathroom… Right?

Footsteps started to appear coming towards you. You tried to focus on the heartbeat enough to prepare yourself for whoever it was, but you were unsuccessful. So it came even more as a shock when Mr. Compress crossed the threshold of the bathroom.

“You gave us all quite a scare there dear. I myself cannot say I was impressed with your disappearing act.” He took to leaning against the counter across from you, maybe to give you space, or maybe for his own safety, you weren’t sure. That entirely depended on how much Fox had told the group.

You smiled at him all the same. “Mmm, guess I’ll have to try harder next time then, yeah?”

He shakes his head, a small chuckle making it through his mask. “I’m serious though. The League missed you.”

You scoffed, attempting to lean back into something only to have to catch yourself from falling again. Wouldn’t want to see what Fox would do if she found out you fell. “Oh please. Sure, Toga and Fox, I’ll give you those. Twice maybe, I guess I could see it. I couldn’t see you or the others missing me all that much. Shigaraki probably was more annoyed that I hurt Fox’s feelings.”

He sighs, long and slow. “No. Shigaraki missed having someone else to be around all the time. You and Fox are the only two he’s really close to. And the difference was very apparent. Twice missed having someone who tried to keep up with his thoughts. Most of us can’t or stopped trying a while back. Toga sees you as part of the family she's created in her head. You being gone was a big hit to that picture. Fox is your sister, one way or another that is, and it was hard to watch her worry about you. I missed having intelligent conversations about the way the world is with someone who didn’t just think killing was the answer. Magne had even expressed her concerns for your absence. And towards the end, Dabi took it upon himself to attempt to track you in person. Though his reasons were unknown to the group, but, he tried in his… own way? Regardless, you are a part of this group, or family as Toga sees us all, and you were missed.” He crouched in front of you, his arms on his legs. “We would appreciate less of a scare next time Miss Y/n.”

Huh. Guess that could explain the being watched feeling you had a couple nights before coming back. Was it him? How did he find you? What did he see? The words came out of your mouth before you could stop them though. “I’m sorry about Magne. And… About what happened to you. I… I’m sorry I was too… Caught up in myself to be around. I…” You rubbed your face, happy to have some bodily control coming back and sighed deeply. “I should have been there.”

He stands and places his hand on your head as Fox reappears in the doorway. “You’re here now.” He takes his leave and Fox sets your clothes on the counter.

 “I’m sorry. It’s just, he saw me coming out of the laundry room with clothes, and then asked if you were awake, and then I remembered that I was to let Shigaraki know when you woke up, and I just got caught up with a bunch of little things. I hope seeing someone this early wasn’t too much. You know, with your… Dietary choices lately and all.”

You smile and shake your head. You can see her eyes are rimmed with red under her glasses, and knowing she was probably crying in relief to Shigaraki you didn’t push it. “It’s fine love. It… was nice to see him actually.”

She nods and starts the bath for you. “Very well… Let’s get you cleaned up then.”

To say that having a dear friend help bathe you made for interesting moments, would be an understatement. By the time you were clean and changed, she was done with your jokes and splashes that she really wanted to just plop you in the kitchen and let you fend for yourself. But her heart wouldn’t let her do that.

“You are a real piece of work Y/n. You are lucky I love you.” She points the utensil in her hand at you, using it to add some extra dramatics to her statement.

You smile, and rest your face on your hand. “Don’t I know it.” She rolls her eyes and continues working on making you something to eat. You hear her talk about it needing to be high in protein and something else till you find yourself zoning out while watching her.

She has always been a mystery to you. One that after years of knowing her, you can only hope to solve. Because the more things you learn about her, the further you feel like you are from unraveling her completely.

You first met her back at the start of middle school. She was just another quiet kid in the back of the class, but she seemed to have the same style you did. So you picked her to sit by, mainly because you were pretty sure if the other girls' whispers about all the other people as they walked by were any indication of how they were as people, you wanted nothing to do with it. It only took a few comments muttered under your breath about the curriculum and the teacher, who was rude at best, before Fox was giggling and introducing herself. She was such a sweetheart. You weren’t sure how someone like her ended up being friends with you. Maybe you just saw yourself in such a bad light that everyone else was better in comparison? But whatever it was, she was always a ball of light in your dark world. It wasn’t long before you guys were best friends. You talked about anything and everything. She has always been one of those friends that you never had to fake anything with. You have always been able to be unapologetically yourself with her and she could always be unapologetically herself with you. She felt like home, and you could only hope you did too.

Somewhere along the way you both had started to open up about the darker parts of your lives. She learned all about your mom and your sister, and you got to learn the horrible truth about her seemingly normal family. You see, to you, since she had parents who weren’t divorced, and a family that all lived together all the time, she had what you always couldn’t have. But it turned out her family was just really good at painting a pretty picture for the guests when they were in the house.

But Fox told you the truth. The truth about how every time a thunderstorm hits she would cower in fear because it reminded her of her parents fighting. How her mothers cast wasn’t because of her slipping on the front porch the last time it iced over. How the family isn’t allowed to eat more than a serving size of anything, regardless of if they are still hungry. How her mother doesn’t work from home, but that she’s talking to some internet boyfriend. How that woman is slowly changing who you have come to know as, for a man across the world she has never met. How her father acts like the world is falling apart around him yet he’s the one who started it all. How he’s the one who forced himself on her mom, and that's how they ended up with a child. How since they were soulmates they had to be together. Because that’s what their family believed was right. She still manages to tell you more and more new things over the years, but it never does get prettier.

And you listen. To every last memory and confession like it is what you were put on this earth to do. You listen to her scream in absolute horror the first time something she touches decays in her hand. You listen to the sobs tear from her throat and hold her as her entire body shakes in fear. Not for the objects around her, but for herself. Because it has been ingrained in her head since she was little that you are to be with your soulmate. Regardless of what they have done. Regardless of what they are doing. And regardless of what they will do. You know if she ever asked you to, you would hunt that person down, and end them for her. But you also know her heart is too big for that. You know that she still believes deep down that soulmates are real. That her parents were just the universe's mistake. That she wants to have a happy ever after, just as much as you do.

But you also watch as each year through highschool, that little light in her eyes dies out just a little bit more. Slowly, year by year, more and more bad things seemed to occur in her life. More and more trauma seemed to pile onto her shoulders, and while you did your best to help her carry the burden when you could, you could still see the weight slump her shoulders. For there were some things you could never really shoulder for her. Like the weight of your parents splitting up at an age that meant understanding the changes. Or the weight of being taken advantage of by men that you thought you could trust. There were just some things that you could never understand, and while it killed you inside that you couldn’t help, you did your best to be there for her. Some time after the second time of her being hurt by another man, there were jokes around the school. You guys were probably a couple years of highschool in and you were starting to loathe seeing her get hurt, and people had started calling you her guard dog. She apparently knew, but you were clueless. But it came from you always seeming to fall in behind her. Walking with her like a shadow wherever her heart desired, because you would follow her everywhere. You always would, for as long as she needed you.

Her voice yanked you back to the rundown kitchen in the base. “Thought I lost you there. Here. Eat this.”

You look at her face then. She’s much older now, and has been through countless things she probably won’t ever get the chance to really work through, but she still looks the same. “You’re an angel Fox. My angel.”

The statement was odd. It could have been taken as a light jab at the food service, but she could tell from the tone of your voice that it went deeper than that. Which is probably why it caused her to almost drop your plate. “W-what?”

You take it from her, gently, and take a few bites. You are sure she wouldn’t want to go on a touchy rant of feelings in a common space that could result in someone overhearing, so you change the topic. “Where are Toga and Twice? I figured they would be jumping at the bit once they smelled you cooking.”

She stares at you with a look full of shock before shaking her head. Almost like she was trying to shake herself back to normal. “Uh, after… you know, Shigaraki sent them to go work for Overhaul for a bit. It’s part of his plan. But it’s being kept under wraps right now because of some of the quirks Overhauls men possess. Which uh, by the way, I have to leave with Shigaraki for a day or so after tonight for some preparation so, someone else is going to be in charge of caring for you.”

You tilt your head, your chewing slowly down drastically. You ponder the thought of Toga and Twice being Yakuza for a moment before swallowing. “Just who exactly is going to be in charge of that?”

She makes a face, one that sends your nerves on fire, before nibbling the tip of her thumb. “About that…”

The smokey stale scent of burning flesh comes before he does. You send Fox a look of both panic and annoyance before he enters.

“Boss said you would be in here. He said something about a job.”

Fox gives him a halfhearted smile and gestures vaguely at you.

You hear Fox's gasp. That seems to be what your mind focused on first. Then came the sting and throb of your cheek and jaw. And finally the metallic taste of blood started to bloom into your mouth. You can feel your mind start to get fuzzy and feel the heat beginning to broil under your skin. You pull all your focus into making eye contact with Fox, who can merely nod. You readjust your attention to the man who decided the truth wasn't enough for him. Your vision seems to pinpoint on his face, and the smug look that seems to be resting upon it. You feel that everyone is watching, and you know that if this doesn't end well you won't be able to help Fox anymore, because what villain group wants to add someone who can't hold their own? It seems like everyone is holding their breath, but their heartbeats are almost overwhelming. With one big intake of air, you push off the floor and launch yourself directly into Muscular.

You find yourself going through the fight almost robotically. Every thought is filled with ducks, hits, blocks, counters and the pain of every hit he manages to land. Your goal was to focus on his seemingly inability to use his wits and use your inhuman speed to keep him from having the ability to think about activating his quirk. Though, you haven't had any blood in weeks, so you weren't exactly doing the best you could, but you were still alive, and that's more than the other people he has fought can say. You stay on your toes, watching the way each muscle flexes in order to keep yourself from sustaining more injuries by hopefully predicting his next moves. Turns out he reuses them a lot. He lands another hard hit to your jaw and this time, the blood swirls on your tongue. With one swallow you feel the effects of your quirk slowly trickle in. You just have to hope it was enough.

Inside the fight, everything felt like molasses, but on the outside, the others were struggling to keep up with the never ending stream of punches, kicks, twists and turns. The continuous movement made it difficult to guess on who would walk away victorious. But you could feel it. The heat begins to rise, the buzz all over your body, the sweat starts to bead, the steam making itself more known… you needed to end this, and fast.

You started to think of exit strategies, of anything that could possibly end this quickly. You didn't have any weapons on you, and couldn't be sure there was any around within reach and knew that nobody was going to stop this for you. You started going back through your past training, looking for any little inspirational bullshit you thought would be useful in a pinch when it hit you. Some little tip your father taught you when you were just a kid. 'If you find yourself fighting someone who is bigger than you, no you may not be able to out strength them, but you can do two things: have more stamina than them, and use their body weight against them.' Fine then, you have a plan. You observe Muscular through the blows being exchanged. He seems to have more sluggish movements, his breathing was heavier than before, and his quirk still wasn't activated. Perfect. This is your best chance. You dodge a right hook and pull a maneuver that gets you behind him. You jump onto his back, arm around his throat, trapping his airway as tightly as you can, and toss your body weight back. The fall to the floor was one you would surely regret. It went by so slowly you almost questioned the decision. The sound of you hitting the floor, with him on top of you was almost nauseating. With a few more strangled breaths, you felt his body relax and his heart rate begin to slow.

Fox rushed to your side, helping you push him off and getting you up off the floor. She looked back at Shigaraki who had emerged over the sound of the altercation and was heading towards the three of you. You shakily stood as tall as you could, wincing in pain all the while, hoping you didn't just fuck things up. But the look on Shigaraki's face didn't seem to be one of anger, but one more of a pleased look. He squatted down to look at Musculars face as he came to and sighed. "Maybe you shouldn't try to fight everyone you meet. Get cleaned up, we need you for our next move."

Fox looks at the steam that is still rising from your skin and quickly glances around. "We should probably get you outside to cool off Y/n." You look at her and the door of the bar.

The unsettling feeling that comes with listening to a monitor steadily play someone's heartbeat through an empty room never seems to get easier to hear. Sure, there is almost always a calming second feeling that comes with the comfort that the person is still alive. Though, the one always outweighs the other, even if it's different for everyone. Some people can focus on the comfort that the rhythm brings. Find peace in the knowledge that whoever they are watching over is still okay in that moment. For others… it’s more like a bomb. Ticking down until the inevitable end. Something to hear and overthink about while they have nowhere to run. You wonder if you will ever be the person to find comfort in a noise like that.

The plan has gone well so far. Admittedly almost too well if you are honest with yourself. The two of you managed to grab the student you were after with no problems, you guys got her back to base quickly, you put her fully under before she even had the chance to see anything happening around her, successfully placed her on the ventilator, hooked her up to the monitors, and took enough blood that Toga should have no issues with staying in her form for the whole day, if not more. Everything went as well as you planned, but it was out of your hands now, and that's where you become anxious. Toga shot you a message a little after the check ins to let you know that she has successfully infiltrated the exams. Now it’s all a waiting game. You have full confidence in her abilities, though you haven’t seen them in action, and you know the rest of the group has no problems with vouching for her. This mission is risky, that much is obvious, but she was truly the only one who could pull this off in the way it needed to be done.

Which leaves you with the only thing you can do, watch over the student you guys took and hope you can keep her alive.

You settle your gaze on the kid's face. She looks peaceful, even in her unconscious state. You find yourself fixating on that ever present sound of her robotic heartbeat. Letting each pulse pull you deeper into your thoughts and memories until it's you who is hooked up to the machines. You suddenly feel like you are back in that damn room again. Panicked and upset. It’s almost scary just how fresh the memory is, even when it’s been years since that time. You feel the memory swallowing you whole. It takes you all the way back to walking into school that day, you felt numb, yet couldn’t seem to contain the tears. You can almost place the voice of the office woman telling you that you should stop by and talk to the new counselor. You can hear your footsteps echo through the empty halls, guess being over an hour late to school makes for less crowded hallways. You still feel bad for scaring that counselor the way you did. Though he was trained, he was still new. This was only his first year, and his first school, and you could tell just by the broken look on his face that when he sat you down and asked what was wrong he wasn’t expecting your answer. “Look, I don’t have a plan, and I don’t know that I will ever fully commit to making one… But if a train was coming, or a speeding car, I don’t think I would move.” It rings in your head all the time, and you wonder if it rings in his. You didn’t even flinch when he stuttered through telling you that you will be staying in his office until your parents come to get you and take you for a psych evaluation. You only lived with your mom at the time and you knew she had just fallen out the night before and probably wouldn’t be up on her own for another day or so. It left you with no choice but to call your friend that was currently staying with you there and have her wake your mom up and tell her she had to come get you. Unfortunately, as always, your mothers priorities were quite skewed. She decided that the car needed new tires, and that she needed to stop by her dealer's house before coming to get you. Imagine being fourteen, locked in a room coloring, with a grown man who was visibly trembling, and knowing your mother didn’t care enough to come right away. It should have been a lot to take in, but for you, well, it was normal.

You stayed quiet when she got there, and when the counselor went over the legal actions that would be taken if she didn’t take you to the evaluation, and the whole car ride to the hospital. You can still feel the smoke clouding your lungs as you chain smoked almost every cigarette you had, all the while she sang along to the radio like this was normal. You barely remember your friend sitting in the backseat, but she was the only one worried about you at that moment. 

You can almost feel the uncomfortable plastic bed adorned with four point restraints in the first cold room they brought you into. The first doctor came in, asked you a ton of questions, you guess to judge the severity of your mental state, they took a look at the ever growing collection of scars that littered your wrist and thigh, and decided that you would not in fact be leaving. Which caused your mom to call every one that would answer her, except your father of course, and spin some sob story to them, somehow making everything about her like always. They moved you to a second room.

This room still manages to haunt your dreams. They hooked you up to the monitors, and no surprise to you, your heart rate was through the roof. You remember the shock on the nurse's face when she was called in to do an IV and blood draw and saw the number 180 on the monitor of a kid who was sitting doing literally nothing at all. Though, you really think your panic over the needle was a little over the top now, but you can still feel your friend holding you down so the nurse can put the IV in. You can still feel the rise of absolute horror when the nurse uttered “oh no”. You tried to look over but they both stopped you. The nurse was a champ though, she finished placing the IV, she took the blood she needed, and got out after quickly covering your arm with the blanket. After a few minutes went by, you felt it. The cold, wet and sticky feeling of blood. If you focus hard enough you can almost remember the muffled conversation outside the door, and the loud alert on your monitor when you yanked the covers off and saw your arm and some of the bed coated in your own blood. Needless to say, your heart rate only went higher.

Turns out, the blood they took was for a tox screen. It was almost funny to see the look on your mothers face when they read the results of just what all you were on. Guess having enough in your system to start a small pharmaceutical company was enough to make your mom begin to worry if you were going to rat her out for giving you most of it. You didn’t, even though you probably should have. Your mother used to despise how good you were at painting yourself in different lights to meet the situation's needs. She used to tell you just how much she hated how good you were at lying through your teeth. But in that moment, watching you paint yourself out to be a dumb kid who went to a party with some friends, that just didn’t know what she was taking or really doing, your mom let out a breath of relief when the doctors took pity on you and left. She really did only like those skills of yours when they worked in her favor, though she was the reason you developed them in the first place.

You remember being taken up to the psych unit a few floors up, the two sets of double doors that both locked after going through them, can still hear the sound of the employee scanners beeping upon each entry-

Your head snaps to the door at the sound of a rough voice cutting through the silence. "Little creepy to watch a kid sleep that intensely, don't you think newbie?" Your body was tense and mind reeling from being yanked back to reality so quickly.

You blink up at him from your place on the chair next to the bed. "Little creepy to follow two girls into alleyways late at night, don't you think Dabi?"

He smirks, leaning into the door frame and crossing his arms across his chest. "Well well well, the newbie isn't clueless after all. I was almost worried you were going to be useless."

You lean back into your seat. "Mm… give it time. We all have our useless moments… don't we?" You give him a side glance before checking the monitors, unsure of how long you had been lost in thought.

His smirk drops and his eyebrow quirks up, expression blending into one of annoyance. "When have I ever been useless to the League?"

You hum. A small smile plays on your lips. "Wasn't it you who got knocked out at the start of the raid at the old base? And wasn't it you who stayed out all the way to the next base location? Or are you going to tell me it was someone else?" You flash him a grin, turning to face him completely.

He rolls his eyes, teeth clenching once before speaking. "Weren't you the one who came back more beat up than the rest of us? Even I was unscathed."

You tilt your head to the side and bite back a giggle. "And I wonder why that is. Hm. Maybe, someone felt just a tad bit sorry that you were going to miss out on all the fun, that they made that outcome happen on purpose."

For a fraction of a second his eyes widened. But his heartbeat, that you could hear clear as day now. It seemed to increase in speed with the realization of what you were implying. You held eye contact for a small while before speaking again. "Tell me Dabi, why did you react the way you did the other night?" He squinted slightly at you, and you could feel his carefree attitude was slowly disappearing. You continue. "Even Toga could feel the heat in the air. And I could hear that heartbeat of yours continue to rise till you left out of my earshot. So, what was your deal with that second contact of mine?" You fold your hands in your lap and watch as his walls came flying back to their guarded home and his whole demeanor shifted to one much more dangerous.

His tone was much less playful than before, but he spoke slowly. "Compress contacted Toga. She reached her extraction point. The mission was a success, and Shigaraki wants you to return the child as soon as you can."