#reader death tw

The two officers glanced over at each other hesitantly but stepped aside. Rick pushed past them and stormed over to where all the emergency vehicles were parked. But he stumbled to a stop when he saw a gurney with a body on it. The body was mostly covered in a thin white sheet, but the right arm had slipped out from under the covering, exposing it to the world.

Rick fell to his knees as he spied the familiar tattoo just recognizable through the burns on the body’s wrist. He folded over, forehead pressed tightly into the concrete as he released a wail of agony. This wasn’t supposed to happen, not to you. He had done everything he could to keep you away from the dangers in his life, yet you still had been taken from him.

A concerned looking cop approached Rick slowly. Placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, he asked, “Hey, are you okay? Is there anything I can do?”

Rick sat up slowly, tears still streaming down his face. He managed to ask in a gravely, hoarse grunt, “What the hell happened?”

“Um, do you mean with the building?”

“No…her.” He jerked his head in the direction of your body but was unable to look at it again.

The cop understood immediately. He tightened his grip on Rick’s shoulder, giving it a rueful squeeze. “Ah, I’m sorry, son. We’re still trying to figure out what happened but the best we can figure, it seems she had some candles lit in the apartment and one of them must have fallen over. The fire spread quickly, and we don’t know how much time she had before…” He stopped and sighed. “Are you sure you want the details?”

Rick nodded stiffly so the cop continued. “I’m not supposed to be telling you this, but I heard you say you were special ops and all… We found her curled up by the front door of the apartment. She had burns on her arms and legs, but they weren’t too serious. It appears she…died… from smoke inhalation. There was a heavy chest of things next to her that we think she must have tried to go back for. But it’s all just speculation.”

“She wasn’t even supposed to be here….I was supposed to meet her for dinner tonight, but I got stuck at work.” Rick muttered robotically.

“One of your neighbors talked to her this afternoon when she arrived.” The cop shifted uncomfortably, but Rick once again nodded for him to continue. “Apparently, she said she was planning on cooking dinner for her boyfriend to surprise him when he got home from work. I’m assuming that's you.”

Rick squeezed his eyes closed tightly. He thought back to the conversation he had with you last night just before you headed home… your last conversation.

“Rick, we don’t have to go out tomorrow. We can just stay in and I’ll cook.”

“No, darlin’. I haven’t taken you out in weeks. You deserve to be shown a good time.”

“You show me the best time when we’re right here. Plus, you’re always exhausted when you get home from work. You don’t have to drag yourself out to some restaurant just because you think that’s what I want.”

“I’ll be fine. And we’re going to do things right. We’ll get dressed up all nice, you can wear that red dress I love so much, and then when we get back, I can take it off you. How’s that sound?”

“A little like overkill. I can just wear the dress over here and then you can still take it off.”

“Can you please just humor me for once? I get off at 5 so I can pick you up around 7. Is that okay?”

“It’s perfect, baby. I’ll see you tomorrow at 7. I love you.”

I love you. Those had been the last words you had said to him. He could tell you still weren’t happy with the situation as you left so it really didn’t surprise him that you would have snuck over to surprise him. You would have wanted to prove to him how wrong he was thinking they needed to go out to have a good time. This was all his fault….

“I need to see her.”

The cop sighed. “Son, I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

“I don’t give a fuck what you think. I. Need. To. See. Her. Now.” Rick practically threw the words at the other man. The cop hesitated for a moment, then nodded.

As they approached your body, the cop motioned for the other men to leave the area. Rick deserved some privacy for what came next. Rick slowly trudged toward the gurney, each step making his feet feel heavier and heavier. And then, he was at your side.

At first, Rick didn’t have the strength to look at your face. His gaze got as high as your neck before he had to stop. The sheet that had been draped over you was pulled back and was folded at your collar bone, covering everything below that point. But Rick could see just the smallest bit of red sparkling from under the cloth and his heart seized. You were wearing the dress he had asked you to. The red one that always took his breath away.

He couldn’t put it off any longer. Rick followed the beautiful curve of your throat until his eyes settled on your face. Half of him was disappointed your eyes were closed as he was desperate to see them one more time. But the other half thanked God that they were. He didn’t think he could bear to see the blank, glazed look he knew would be staring back at him. Your face was slightly red, assumedly from the heat of the fire, and soot coated your skin, but besides that, you could just be sleeping. It was the same sight that had greeted him on countless mornings as he got up for work. But this time, you wouldn’t be rolling over, begging him to come back to bed for just a few more minutes. This time, you wouldn’t be sneaking up behind him to trail kisses down his bare back as he brushed his teeth. This time….you wouldn’t be waking up.

He could just imagine what had happened in the apartment. You crawling across the floor, desperate for air. Scratching frantically at the door when you finally managed to reach it, only to discover the doorknob was too scalding hot to turn. He knew you, and he knew that even up to your last moment, part of you would have believed that he would arrive in time to save you. That the man who swore to never let anything happen to you, who would always protect you, would swoop in and carry you to safety. And it was crazy he knew, but he could almost see his name imprinted on your lips, left when you whispered it with your last breath.

He lightly cupped your cheek, tilting your head down slightly. Then he leaned over and placed a last, long, lingering kiss to your forehead. You tasted of smoke and sweat but Rick didn’t care. He put everything he felt for you into this kiss. His love, his devotion, his sorrow, his regret, his guilt. He hoped that wherever you were now, you could feel all of it.

Finally, he had no choice but to pull away. Brushing his hand across your cheek one last time as he tried to memorize every pore on your face, Rick whispered, “Goodbye, darlin’.” And he turned his back on you.

The cop from before slowly approached Rick, a large chest in his arms. “We found this on the floor next to her. We think she was trying to carry it out and that is why she didn’t get out in time. We didn’t open it, so I have no idea what is inside. But it was in your apartment, so I see no reason you shouldn’t be able to take it now.”

Rick nodded and took it from the man. He had instantly recognized it as the one he kept stored in his closet. It was normally empty so he had no idea why you would have been trying to carry it with you. But it didn’t matter. If it was important enough for you to die over, Rick wasn’t going to leave it behind.

He walked back to his truck, ignoring the words of sympathy and condolences from his neighbors as he passed. He climbed into his driver’s seat and slammed the door shut, tossing the chest on the seat next to him. He sat there in silence for a moment before his dam burst. He slammed his fists repeatedly into his steering wheel as an animalistic howl of grief tore from his lips. It wasn’t fair! You hadn’t done anything wrong! All you were trying to do was do something nice for him. If he had just called, or demanded Waller let him leave like he had considered, you would still be here. If everything had gone according to plan, by this time tonight, the two of you should have been curled around each other after a night of passion.

Instead, he was sitting here alone with just this stupid chest. What could have possibly been so important for you to not flee the apartment immediately? What in his apartment was worth your life? He pulled the chest into his lap and opened the lid. What he saw inside took his breath away.

It was everything he would have wanted to save from his place. His military medals, the flag he had been given when his father was killed in action, the photo album that contained the only picture he had of his grandparents. It was all there, perfectly protected within the sturdy case. You had known exactly which irreplaceable items he would have mourned the loss of the most. Though nothing compared to the loss of you.

The last thing he pulled out, smushed at the bottom of the box, was the stuffed monkey he won for you on your first date. The one you snuggled with every night when you stayed over. The one that still smelled like you.

Bradley bolted upright on the couch at the labored sound of your voice. Jumping to his feet, he tore across the room and snatched the radio receiver before anyone else could. It was highly frowned upon for those waiting in the rec room to use the radio, but Bradley didn’t give it a second thought as he called out to you, “Rae? Raven, what’s happening?”

“Roo...Oxygen’s not working…Ca-can’t breathe… 

No. That can’t be right. The oxygen systems are always inspected before every flight to ensure something like this doesn’t happen. You had been given the all-clear this morning along with everyone else. Yet as he continued to listen to the radio, it was abundantly clear that you were struggling for every breath.

“Lt. Floyd.” Oh shit. Cyclone was monitoring training today. “Is your oxygen compromised?”

“N-no, sir. It’s just Raven’s.”

This was both good and bad news. On one hand, at least Bob wasn’t also being affected and he would be able to stay alert and focused on the situation. But on the other hand, if something happened to you, there was little he could do to help. He didn’t have any steering or altitude controls in the back seat and all emergency overrides were out of his reach. 

Grabbing the radio, Bradley carried it over to the window so he could try and see what was happening. Luckily, there were a few clouds covering the worst of the sun’s glare and he could just make out the planes far off in the distance. Two were circling at a normal altitude, but the third seemed to be steadily climbing.

Cyclone must have noticed this too because his voice crackled out of the radio, “Lt., drop altitude to below 10,000 feet immediately and return to base…..Raven? Do you copy?”

“....can’t….breathe….”

“Why is she still going higher?” Hangman murmured as he approached the window to stand next to Bradley.  

It seemed counterintuitive but Bradley thought he understood what was happening. Right now you wouldn’t be thinking logically about how to fix the problem, you’d just be straining to get air into your lungs. He could almost see you with your arched back, wide eyes, heaving chest….and fist clenched tightly around the stick as you unwittingly climbed higher and higher.

But then your plane seemed to level out for just a moment—before it began to plummet towards the ground.

Hangman inhaled sharply, “Oh my God…”

“Raven! Raven, wake up!” Bob’s voice was frantic as he cried out, “We’re going in! She’s unconscious and there’s no one on the stick!”

“No, no, no, no!” Bradley screamed, his fist slamming into the window over and over. This can’t be happening. This can’t be…

“Altitude dropping rapidly! Raven, please! Wake up! What do I do?”

“Lt. Floyd…eject.”

“What?” Bob sounded horrified at Cyclone’s command. “No. I can’t. I have to do something! I have to help her! Just tell me what to do!”

“There’s nothing you can do but save yourself. Now eject. That’s an order.”

“But–”

Hangman snatched the radio receiver out of Bradly’s hands and yelled, “Bob, you have to punch out right now! Your chute won’t save you if you go much lower.”

“I can’t…I can’t leave her.”

Hangman turned to Bradley, his face a mix of pain and sorrow as he held out the receiver. They both knew what needed to be done.

Squeezing his eyes tight to keep his tears from falling, Bradley grabbed the receiver and whispered, “Do it, Bob. She’d want you to.”

There was a momentary pause. Then, “I’m sorry.”

A loud bang blasted through the radio as the canopy was torn open and Bob’s seat jettisoned from the plane. Bradley looked out the window, his eyes scanning the sky until he just barely made out the tiny plume of color that had appeared as Bob’s cute deployed. It would be a rough landing, but he had ejected just high enough that he should be alright.

The same couldn’t be said about you. 

Bradley sank to the floor as your plane spiraled closer and closer to the ground, bile rising in his throat at the knowledge there was absolutely nothing anyone could do to save you now. All he could do was watch it happen.

Then, just before your plane slammed into the ground in a fiery explosion, he heard one final word whispered through the radio.

“...R-Rooster?” 

Though they had escaped before he was able to get more than a glance at them, The Asset had identified the agents as a man and a woman. The man was taller, broader, and most assuredly stronger than his companion. In fact, he may even pose a challenge to The Asset in hand-to-hand combat, something that he had rarely encountered. 

However, everyone had a weakness. And by the way the man had shielded the woman and aided in her escape into the woods, it was clear that she could very well be that weakness. By tracking her down, The Asset would not only be able to take out the easier target first, but if he captured her, he would have leverage over the man. A leverage he could use to take out the man as well.

Suddenly, The Asset picked up the faint sound of panting up ahead and he lengthened his stride. Within a few moments, he caught a glimpse of the woman through the trees as she hurried as quickly as she could while still creating those faintest of footprints. However, she must have caught sight of him out of the corner of her eye because her head whirled in his direction and their eyes locked across the snowy woodland.

They both froze in place as they held one another’s gaze. And slowly, her wide-eyed panicked expression softened and, inexplicably, she gave him a cautious smile as her eyes sparkled with a hopeful gleam. She mouthed something he couldn’t understand but it ultimately didn’t matter. He didn’t need to know what she had said in order to complete his mission.

But as he took a step towards her, the terror instantly returned to her face and she bolted, no longer concerned about masking her tracks. She fled into the trees as fast as her legs would carry her but it was going to be a futile effort. She was no match for the power of the Winter Soldier. 

He took off after her, weaving in and out of the trees with ease. As he began to close the distance between them, the woman pulled out a gun and pointed it at him. There was a momentary hesitation….then the sound of the gun shattered the quiet of the night. 

The Asset easily blocked the bullet with his left arm and continued running. The woman let off a few more shots but he continued to either avoid or deflect them. Possibly because she wasn’t able to aim as she fired while still running, but he found it strange none of the shots were targeting his head or chest. Even if he slipped up and a bullet did manage to hit him, with their trajectory, they would only cause minimal damage. They would definitely slow him down but they would not do enough to stop him for good. 

As he closed the distance, he heard the recognizable click of the trigger being pulled on an empty gun and the woman swore. Tossing the gun to the side, she reached for a second weapon, but it was too late. He had caught up to her. 

Reaching out, The Asset grabbed the back of her tact vest and hurled her into the side of the nearest tree. She slammed into it with a sickening thump and the sound of breaking bones followed. Curled at the base of the tree, the woman screamed as she grabbed her left shoulder, her arm jutting out at an unnatural angle. But that didn’t stop her from trying to escape him.

As he stalked towards her, she used her feet to push herself back a few feet until she bumped up against a tree. Looking up at him, tears streaming down her face, she begged as he approached, “Bucky, stop! Don’t do this, please! Baby, this isn’t you, not anymore. The Winter Soldier is gone. You’re James Buchanan Barnes—you’re Bucky—and you don’t have to do this. Just try to remember. Please, baby, please come back to me. I love you! Just remember!”

But her words meant nothing to him.

The Asset’s metal fingers closed around her throat and he lifted her off the ground. Her legs began to thrash frantically in the air as her fingers on her right hand clawed at his own. It was an instinctual act, her body attempting to free her windpipe despite the obvious uselessness of her nails on Vibranium. She tried to choke out more pleas for her life, but all she could manage were a few raspy hisses. Her eyes were bulging in her head and The Asset watched as her blood vessels broke and clouds of crimson leached into the whites of her eyes.

Soon however, her clawing and writing slowed to little more than a twitch as her body began to shut down from lack of oxygen. And just as he felt one last desperate gasp building in her throat, he tightened his grip. He felt the bones and cartilage in her neck give way with a loud crunch and her body instantly went limp in his grasp.

The Asset heard someone calling out a name from behind him and the sound of something large crashing through the trees. He turned just as the other agent he had been sent to track down burst into the clearing. The man staggered to a stop as he saw his companion still dangling from The Asset’s hand.

As The Asset opened his fist, the woman dropped in a lifeless heap at his feet. In a mock imitation of her fall, the man dropped to his knees, tears streaming down his face. As he stared up at The Asset—not in fear or in defiance, but in agony—he whispered, “Bucky…. What did you do?”

The Asset reached into his belt, pulled out his gun, and aimed it directly between the man’s eyes as he said, “Who the hell is—”

Bucky bolted up from his resting place on the floor, chest heaving as he gasped for air, a cold layer of sweat coating his body. Looking around frantically, his breathing slowed slightly as he took in the sterile room around him and he remembered where he was. He had been sleeping. It had been a dream.

Collapsing back down with a sigh, Bucky stared up at the ceiling. He scrubbed his hand over his face as he attempted to wipe the vision of your lifeless body from his mind, but it didn’t work. No matter how hard he tried or what else he focused on, you were still there, hanging limply in his grasp as he heard the crunch—

Sick to his stomach and struggling to get his heart to stop racing, Bucky climbed unsteadily to his feet. However, he had barely taken two uneasy steps before he reached the wall and was forced to turn, take a few steps, and turn again. For the most part, he had become accustomed to his tiny room—after all, it was still a vast improvement over the cryostasis chamber he had spent the majority of the last fifty years in. However, at night he wished he had some way to work off his adrenaline-fueled energy. Not that he really wanted to go back to sleep. Sleep meant dreaming, and dreaming meant repeating this cycle all over again with the same agonizing scene playing in his head. 

Because it wasn't just a dream…it was a memory.

Six months ago, a HYDRA agent had gotten ahold of his trigger words and reactivated the Winter Soldier when Bucky tracked him down along with you and Steve. Trapped once more within his programming, The Asset had been ordered to find and eliminate both of the SHIELD agents that posed a threat to HYDRA. Steve was able to bring Bucky back just before he could complete his mission, and he re-emerged from the conditioning to find you lying at his feet—your throat crushed and tears still staining your face. 

You who had never given up on him no matter what. You who had never looked at him with fear or pity, only kindness and understanding. You who constantly reassured him that he would never hurt you. You who he loved more than life itself. 

You who he had murdered in cold blood.

Once he had been reexamined and deemed no longer a threat, SHIELD had agreed to let Bucky go and chalk your murder up to “collateral mission damage” but he had refused. He was a danger to every person he was around, especially the few remaining people he still had whom he cared about. The fact it took your death for him to finally accept that fact was devastating but he was never going to let it happen again. That was why he voluntarily offered himself over to SHIELD’s custody so he could pay for all of his previous crimes. SHIELD was more than happy to oblige him and they immediately confiscated his Vibranium arm and threw him in The Raft. Bucky just hoped they never let him out.

Steve hadn’t agreed with his decision—he still didn’t—and had tried everything he could to talk Bucky out of it. He pleaded for him to reconsider, that it had been the Winter Soldier who had ended your life, not Bucky himself. But Steve didn’t understand. No one did.

It didn’t matter where he spent the remainder of his life. From the moment your life ended, he had been given a life sentence of endless torment. Bucky might not have been in control that night, but that didn’t mean he didn’t remember what happened. That he didn’t hear your voice sobbing as you begged him to remember you, remember that you loved him. That he didn’t feel your fingernails snapping as they tried to dig into his metal hand in a futile attempt to pry it away from your throat. That he didn’t watch the last beautiful spark in your eyes flare once before fading into oblivion as he crushed your neck. 

No. His mind had already become his prison before he was placed behind bars. And this time, there were no magic words anyone could say to bring him back and allow him to escape from it.

You were his first forever.

The night he came home from the Academy, Jake got down on one knee in front of you. He had planned to make it special, to really blow you away with his proposal, but he didn’t even fully make it through the front door before he couldn’t wait any longer. He knew he had missed you, but he hadn’t realized how much until he laid eyes on you again. 

You fell to your knees beside him, covering his face with your kisses and your tears as you cried “Yes!” over and over again. And though you both knew it would have to be a long engagement with Jake’s burgeoning career, it didn’t matter because you were his and he was yours. For the rest of your lives.

You were his first loss.

The two of you were heading home after celebrating the news that he had been accepted into Top Gun. While it meant having to delay the wedding yet again, you had been nothing but supportive and overjoyed to hear about Jake’s accomplishment and it made his selection all the more special to him. 

It was late and Jake glanced over to look at you resting your head on the passenger window. You looked so beautiful in the dim light that it was hard to look away. Jake never saw the semi that ran the red light until it plowed into the side of his truck. 

The world exploded in a shower of glass and metal. Jake was thrown from the truck but luckily, he soared over the asphalt and tumbled into the snow on the side of the road. It was still a rough landing and he was left dazed for several minutes. When he regained some semblance of coherence, he lifted his head to see the burning remnants of his truck in front of him. 

Despite the pain in his side from what felt like broken ribs, or the soreness of every muscle in his body, Jake scrambled to his feet and woozily stumbled towards the passenger side. As he approached, he could see you shifting slightly in the seat where you were still strapped down which seemed like a good sign. But as he got closer, he had to stop himself from falling to his knees in dismay.

During the collision, your head must have slammed violently into the passenger window. It had shattered on impact and pieces of glass jutted from your scalp. The right side of your head was drenched in blood which cascaded down your face, obscuring your right eye. Your left pupil was blown wide, almost completely dilated, and though he was just inches in front of you, Jake could tell you were struggling to focus on him. There was no doubt that you had a severe concussion, if not something much worse.

When he reached you and carefully pried open what was left of your door, your lips began to move, though no sound came out. Finally, you managed a weak, “Ja–... J–...Ja–...” Your speech was slurred and stilted and it seemed as if you were struggling to form complete words.

Jake took your hand. “I’m here, baby. I’m here.”

“He–...Hea–.... Head.”

“I know. I know your head hurts. But help is coming and they’re gonna get you patched right up and give you something for the pain. I just need you to hold on.” He squeezed your hand tighter as if doing so would transfer some of his strength into you.

Your lips began to move again, but the words took longer to come this time. Eventually, Jake could hear your whisper, “L–…L–…Lo–…Love…. Ooo.”

Jake had to bite his lip to keep his sob from tearing from his chest. Once he managed to choke it down, he brushed your hair gently from the uninjured side of your face and said, “I love you too. So much.”

Carefully, he leaned over and pressed his lips to yours. It was a chaste kiss, yet a fierce one and it reminded Jake of your first kiss all those years ago. Though this time instead of strawberry lip gloss, your lips tasted of iron and rust.

When he pulled back, a ghost of a smile flickered across your lips seconds before everything dimmed as if someone just unplugged you. You went slack and your one visible eye stared off into nothingness.

Jake felt his heart shatter as he desperately clutched at your limp body, frantic for the slightest hope he was wrong. “No, no, no. Baby, come on. Stay with me. Please. Come on. No. No…. no.”

He buried his face into your still chest, tears stinging his eyes. And though he could hear the sounds of ambulances quickly approaching, he knew it was too late.

You were his first kiss. But he was your last.

As you and Dick turned, you let out a small chuckle of surprise as you saw display after display of merchandise bearing a variety of bat symbols. All of you were represented in some form or another. Bruce’s Batman on a shower curtain, Dick’s Nightwing on a blanket, Jason’s Red Hood on a bathrobe, Tim’s Red Robin on a coffee mug, and Damian’s Robin on a coloring book. But the thing that really caught your eye was the hoodie that looked like a replica of your costume, complete with mask built into the hood and your signature Bat-Insignia across the front. Glancing at the sign, you chuckled again at the name. The Bat Cave.

“Did either of you know about this?” you asked.

Dick and Jason both shook their heads in disbelief. Then Jason snorted, “I think somebody owes us some royalties or something. Those things are trademarked.”

You laughed, but knew he was probably right. Suddenly, you realized something was missing. Cursing under your breath, you turned and hurried back towards the theatre. Both boys turned to watch you speed away.

“Where are you going?” Dick called after you.

You yelled back over your shoulder. “I forgot my sunglasses. I’ll be right back.”

Just as your hand reached the door to the theatre, you heard Jason yell, “Hey, dumbass!”

Glancing back, you saw Jason smirking as he pointed to the top of his head. Reaching up to your own head, you felt the sunglasses perched there. You blushed as you placed them on your face, sheepishly turning back to the boys. You shrugged dramatically and took a step in their direction. That’s when the theatre exploded.

Jason and Dick were thrown backward by the blast, landing in a heap about ten feet from where they had been standing. Groaning, both boys struggled to sit up and regain their bearings. People were screaming all around them and smoke curled out of the scant remains of what had just been the theatre.

All the blood rushed out of Jason’s face as he muttered, “Y/N.” He scrambled to his feet as Dick paled and frantically followed suit. They took off running towards the area they thought they had last seen you, but it was almost impossible to tell where anything had once been. When they thought they were in the approximate area, they began shifting desperately yet carefully through the rubble, screaming out your name. Jason couldn’t help but wonder if this was how Bruce had felt as he searched for his body years ago. Finally, Dick moved a hunk of cement and saw as a hand appeared from underneath it. He instantly recognized the bracelet that he had given you for your birthday on the wrist.

“Jay, over here! I found her!”

Feverishly, the two boys moved pieces of rock and debris, slowly uncovering more and more of your broken form, until the only wreckage that remained was a large section of the theatre wall that was too heavy for them to move. It was still pining you to the ground from the waist down, but there wasn’t any more they could do at the moment, so they began assessing your injuries.

You were lying awkwardly, half on your side, half on your back. Every inch of you was covered in a thick layer of dust and grime. The left side of your face was skinned raw where you had skidded across the asphalt. Your sunglasses were destroyed, the remains of which dangled haphazardly from your face. Dick carefully removed what was left and noticed that they had been rammed against your nose with such force, they had shattered bones and blacked both of your eyes. The rest of your body was littered with bruises, burns, blood, and small cuts while your breathing was irregular and strained. Dick and Jason both crouched down next to you and tried to rouse you but at first you barely stirred. Finally, they watched as your eyes flickered open with a pained groan.

“Wha – what happened?” Your voice was hoarse and weak.

Dick and Jason exchanged a worried glance before Dick said, “We’re not sure. There was an explosion in the theatre. You were still at the door and it seems like you took a pretty bad hit. You were completely buried when we found you and we still can’t move that big piece off your legs. It is too heavy for just the two of us. Jay, you stay here and I’m going to go get help.”

“No…. don’t.”

“Sweetheart, we have to get you out from under that thing. You need medical attention immediately. Who knows what kind of internal bleeding you have or if there are any worse injuries this piece of wall is concealing.”

“You’re right, which is why it won’t matter. I can feel it. My leg…. Well, I’m pretty sure the pressure from this wall is the only thing keeping me from bleeding out immediately. As soon as you move it…. So, yeah, it’s too late to do anything.”

Jason sat back on his heels, horrorstruck, as Dick shook his head vehemently refusing to believe what you had just said. “We can at least try. As soon as the paramedics get here, they can help us. They’ll know what to do.”

You smiled hazily up at your brothers. “It’s okay, Dick. I’m not in much pain at the moment, it’s more numb than anything, but if you move that piece of wall, it’s going to be utter agony. And it still won’t matter. So, please, just let me go in peace.”

Jason hissed in fury, “We can’t just sit here and watch you die!”

“I don’t want you to. It might be too late for me but you two can go help the other people who were injured. You might still be able to save them.”

“We’re not leaving you.”

“It’s what we do. We’re heroes, Jay.”

“Not today we aren’t.” Dick said through a clenched jaw. You furrowed your brow in confusion. “Today we are just three siblings who wanted to spend the day together. Who just deserved a goddamn break for once in their lives. And instead, this happens. So, no. Today we aren’t heroes. There are enough other people walking around helping right now. We’re going to stay with you for as long as we can. I don’t care what that makes us.”

You grabbed Dick’s hand as tightly as you could manage as tears began to flow down his face. “It makes you a good brother.”

You smiled up at him and started to say something else, but a chest rattling cough cuts you off. Your brothers held you down, so you didn’t hurt yourself more as your body was racked with the intense hacking fit. Finally, when it subsided, you relaxed, blood dripping from your mouth. You looked up at Dick and weakly said, “I guess you were right on both accounts. Internal bleeding and a concealed wound. Huh, who knew?”

Before either boy could answer, you gave a dry chuckle and said, “You know, I always thought I would die in the suit. Going down swingin’ with my Bat Symbol proudly on my chest and my mask firmly on my face. Instead, it’s going to be flip flops and Jason’s old t-shirt.”

Jason thought for a minute, then stood up. “I’ll be right back. Dick, stay with her.” Dick just nodded numbly.

A few moments later, Jason came rushing back carrying the hoodie resembling your suit you had seen in the souvenir shop what seemed like a lifetime ago. For the first time since the explosion, tears filled your eyes.

“It’s not your suit, but it’s the best we’ve got at the moment.” As carefully as he could and with Dick’s help, Jason gingerly wrapped the oversized hoodie around you and zipped it up as much as he could. Then he pulled the hood down over your face, so the built-in mask framed your eyes.

You slowly lifted your fingers and traced the familiar emblem that rested over your heart. “Thank you, Jay. It’s perfect.”

“Least I could do.” Jason kissed your knuckles and smiled sadly down at you. Keeping ahold of your hand, he began rubbing his thumb lightly over the back of it, a constant reminder he was with you. Dick shifted so he was behind you and lifted your head so it was resting comfortably in his lap. You felt that the tension was so thick with all of the unspoken things between the three of you, that it was almost suffocating. Or maybe that was just your blood filling your lungs.

You felt your head starting to get fuzzy as your vision began to blacken around the edges, and you knew you didn’t have much time left. You nuzzled your cheek softly into Dick’s leg and gave Jason’s hand another squeeze. After taking a few deep breaths, you managed to croak out, “Hey…. I love you guys.”

“Back at you sis,” Jason tearfully bent down and kissed your forehead.

You smiled up at them as your world went black. Jason felt your hand go limp in his, and he frantically looked to Dick, hoping beyond hope his older brother would make this all better. But Dick just gazed down at your empty, staring eyes, tears streaming down his face. And all he could think at that moment was, “How the hell are we supposed to tell Bruce?”

“You have to choose, Rick! Because I can’t stop, not now. Don’t you see? This is who I was always meant to be. Everybody sees me now! Everyone actually cares what I have to say! And now everyone will fina–” BANG.

You peered down to the hole that had just appeared in your chest. Watched as your blood began soaking your pristine costume. And as your lung began to give out, you stumbled into the wall trying to catch your breath. You looked up in disbelief at your former best friend, shocked that he actually went through with it.

But he looked just as stunned as you felt. He glanced down at the weapon in his hand then turned to look behind him, eyes growing wide at what he saw. “Deadshot! I ordered everyone to hold their fire! What the hell did you just do?”

As Rick and the man who had shot you argued back and forth, their voices faded away and your vision began to grow fuzzy and dark around the edges.

“Rick?” you called out just as you started to collapse to the floor. The colonel managed to catch you just before you hit the ground, pulling you into his lap.

“I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt anyone. All I've ever wanted was for you to see me,” you rasped unsteadily.

Rick ran his hand tenderly across your cheek, brushing away the sweat-drenched hair that clung to it. “But darlin’, I’ve always seen you.”

Your eyes grew wide. “Really?”

Rick nodded, and a radiant smile spread across your face. However, after a moment, the light in your face dimmed and slowly went dark. Rick bowed his head as he gently closed your eyes for the final time.

Just as Rick’s eyes dart back to you, you collapse to your knees, your trembling hands still up struggling to hold the shield in place. He sees the pain etched into your face and the blood that is beginning to trickle from the corner of your mouth and he fully understands. You had saved them but had paid a terrible price in return.

Dropping to his knees in front of you, he places his hand against the barrier, desperately trying to slip through to reach you. But he knows it’s useless. As long as you are maintaining the field, nothing can penetrate it. From behind him, he hears Harley exclaim in triumph as the door swings open and the squad begins rushing out to freedom.

You nod weakly towards the door. “Go, Rick…. I can hold ‘em off for another minute….but you have to go……can’t keep it up much…longer…” You rest your head heavily against the force field you are still struggling to maintain.

But Rick hesitates, “Why’d you do it, darlin’? You could have been safe where you were.”

“You know….. needs of the many…and all that…” You manage to smile softly, showing off your teeth which are smeared red with your blood. But then you slide your trembling hand across the force field so it is in front of Rick’s mouth as if you are caressing his lips. “Rick…I love you.”

“I love you too, darlin’. I love you so god damn much.” He presses his lips to the barrier, right against your forehead. And then, mustering everything in himself, he stands and walks towards to door.

“No, baby, no. This wasn’t you. It was HYDRA. The new weapon they’ve been working on. It was a gas that attacks the serum in your blood. It sent you and Bucky into some sort of bloodlust-fueled rage. Nat and Sam were trying to stop Buck… and I led you away. I knew I could get you to come back to me… and I did.” You flashed him a blood-soaked smile as you reached up to cup his face. Your hand trembled slightly as it rested on his cheek and your skin was cool to the touch.  “You came back….”

Your eyes began to flutter, and your breathing was becoming more erratic as Steve tried to prop himself up. “I need to get you help.”

But you wrapped your free hand tightly around the material of his suit, holding him in place as you hissed gently. “No. Stay here with me. Please. I don’t want to be alone for this.”

Steve’s heart shattered at your implication. “Sweetheart, please let me help you. I have to try and fix this. Fix what I did.”

“It’s okay. It wasn’t you. You would never hurt me, Steve. I know that. Please don’t blame yourself. I know you will, but I don’t.” You released his suit as you placed your palm flat against his heart. “In here… it wasn’t you.”

Both of your hands weakly dropped to the floor as you began struggling to breathe. Your eyes were still trained on him, but they were growing unfocused and glazed as they struggled to remain open.

Taking your face in his hands, Steve begged, “Please, hold on. It’s going to be okay, you’re going to be okay.”

A soft smile gently pulled at the corners of your lips. “Steve... I love….”

Steve watched the last embers of light fade from your eyes even as your final word still clung to your lips. When Nat, Sam, and Bucky burst into the room moments later, they found their friend clinging to the motionless form of the woman he loved, his knife still lodged in her chest.