#re-blogs

i re-posted from each of my Visible followers this month. have some followers, according to tumblr, who don*t show up on the list. oh well. hope u guys enjoyed it all and i hope u looked in on some of the folks i re-blogged from. this is Social Media after all...  i guess cheers  

if you think your piece/work fits the theme. i’m down for it. :)

Just really needed to drop this thought somewhere. So, as anyone who’s seen a lot of the posts I make on quotev, will know, I feel I talk a good bit about not regretting the past and who you were.  To learn from all that and to never let it weigh you down. To use your baggage as a ladder.  But, I've never practiced what I preach. I still hate who I was. And at times, still hate who I am.  But something just hit me right now, and for some foreshadowing, I have horrible thoughts, almost intrusive thoughts, a lot of the time.   Which at times, are always “What if’s”. Which normally revolve around ideas like the butterfly effect. As in, “If I do this, it could cause someone to die.” For no good reason. And normally the very graphic scene will kind of “flash” in my head. But I was thinking, that thing, the thing that terrifies me. If real, is wonderful. If I changed one thing, just one, nothing would be as it is. Nothing I consider Good would’ve ever happened.  I never really had anything that interested me when I was younger. Now I have vocal synth, story writing, melody creation, and goblincore to get excited over. I have wonderful friends, and people who care about me, something I didn’t know was possible.  And a will to live. This might not have happened if it wasn’t for any number of the things I regret.   Due to those things, I have a larger perspective, appreciation, and understanding of so many things.   Do I still have regrets? Yes. I feel I always will. But they’re not haunting me as much anymore. I hope this post can ease someone else, as well. I still can’t say I’m happy with myself, but i’m getting there. And since I don’t like myself, I really shouldn’t listen to the mean things it tries to tell me. And neither should you. I’ve thought about, “But, do I really deserve to be happy with the fact I did something bad?” The answer is yes. I just have to learn from them, and that is enough. And maybe, in my own little way, repent by trying to do something good in this world. Even if it’s small, it’s still something. As for, it’s the thought that always counts.

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