Summary: After his brother delivers devastating news, O!Ciel is in shock. Thankfully, Soma is there to comfort him.
Trigger warnings: Religious trauma, blood, survivor's guilt, guilt in general, and a child in distress.
I read through the RCMT last night (again), and while it's probably not canon (please, let R!Ciel just be a good brother while he was alive), it did inspire me to write this. I also wanted to write a story where Soma comforted O!Ciel.
--
Cedric swallows heavily, feeling lightheaded. The room spins, and behind him, he hears Prince Soma exhale heavily in surprise.Â
“Repeat that,” he says, barely managing to get the words out. His tongue tingles under the weight of the words, and if his brother didn’t hear him then, Cedric doesn’t know if he can force himself to say it again.Â
“They had to go,” Ciel insists, eyes wide, almost crazed.Â
Cedric backs up, right into Prince Soma who lays a gentle hand on his shoulder.Â
When they had first burst into his former office, it had been with the intention of getting Soma closure for Agni, but now….
“Little brother,” Ciel tries, reaching a hand out.Â
Cedric stares numbly at it, unable to react. Images of his parents' dead bodies float in his head, burned into his brain as vividly as the brand on his back. Their mother’s beautiful strawberry blonde hair colored rust red. Their father’s vacant gaze staring up at the ceiling, blood dribbling from his mouth.Â
Ciel aggressively knocks Soma’s hand off him, grabbing his shoulder. Something in Cedric breaks. The weight of his brother’s hand is heavier than it should be, and all he can do is slap it away.Â
He breathes heavily. “I-I need air.”Â
He’s stuck between wanting to scream at his brother, wanting to cry, and wanting to murder him.Â
Everything they’ve gone through could have been avoided. They could have continued being happy. They didn’t have to - no one had to - die.Â
Cedric runs all the way outside, passing several unfamiliar servants and a starlord or two. He’s gasping for air, and it’s only because of his intimate knowledge of the manor’s layout that he makes it outside with little fanfare.Â
He bursts through the front door, stopping short of the stairs. He sits down on the first step, leaning his head against the stone railing.Â
If Sebastian weren’t on an important assignment, Cedric might’ve called for him. He didn’t want to be here anymore. Not with that approximation of his big brother, because surely that thing is lying. His brother would never hurt their parents. He loved them.Â
But what if he didn’t?
Someone pats his head. He ducks down, afraid his brother might’ve followed him all the way out here.Â
“Hey, you left me behind!” Soma sounds so much like his old self, that Cedric can’t help but smile. It’s small and barely there, but still a smile.
But then he remembers where he left Soma, and with who he left him with.Â
His smile fades. “Sorry,” he mutters.Â
Soma sits down next to him. They sit in silence, watching snow fall from the sky and land gracefully on the snow-covered ground.Â
“You know, it’s okay to cry, right?”Â
Cedric scoffs, offended. Why would he need to cry? Crying wouldn’t solve a thing, and it certainly wouldn’t bring his parents back or give him and his brother back what the cultists took from them.Â
“It’s a useless thing, crying.”
Soma leans in closer. “Cedric,” he uses his birth name, “little brother, it’s okay to cry.”
Cedric swallows down his tears. He doesn’t want to cry. Someone like him shouldn’t need to cry, but the images of his parents haven't let up since Ciel uttered those terrible words.Â
He missed them both so very much, and until this moment, he hadn’t realized just how much. And the fact that he will never see them again makes it a million times worse.
He lightly leans against Soma, seeking comfort. His ally, his friend, and if he’s being honest, his big brother in all but blood, wraps his arms around him. “It’s okay,” he breathes out.Â
Cedric shakes his head, because nothing is going to be okay. If anything, everything is going to get worse and worse until he can’t take it anymore and commands Sebastian to take his soul. The demon might refuse, but ending the contract would force his hand.Â
“It’s not,” he says, voice starting to tremble. There’s a lump in his throat and his eyes are starting to water.Â
“Why not?”
“My mother and father are gone, and they’re never coming back. And it’s all my fault.” If anyone should have seen the path Ciel was going down, it was him - the very person that spent hours upon hours a day with him. “I could have saved them.” The metaphorical dam breaks, and all Cedric can do is cry.Â
Soma, for once, stays quiet. Though, he continues to hold Cedric close.
“I could have saved them if I just paid attention. None of this would have happened. It’s all my fault.”
Soma soothes his hair down. The motion reminds him of his mother’s gentle touch, and it just makes him cry harder. “I miss them so much! I-I just wish I could see them one more time.”Â
“You will, one day. Right?”Â
“Nuh, no! I- they’re in a place I can never reach.”
Soma hums. “Surely your God must be understanding, given all you’ve been through?”
Memories of staring up at a figure of Jesus smiling, not understanding why God was allowing the cultists to hurt them in that way, come flooding back. He wraps his own arms around Soma, burying his face in his jacket.Â
“God has always hated me!” Because if he truly exists, that’s the only possible explanation he can find for being as unlucky as he is. For making him be born a younger twin. For making him sickly. For making him be a burden and shy and timid. For making him naive and trusting. For everything that happened to him and Ciel during their captivity, and for allowing him to summon a demon. “He’s always hated me!”
Soma says nothing to this, just rocks back and forth with Cedric, humming. The movement makes him feel the tiniest bit better, and his loud wails turn to quiet sobs.Â
“I know little of your God,” Soma says, “but I don’t think he’d send you to Hell.” He pulls away, holding Cedric’s face in his hands. “For someone as selfish and self centered and uncaring and downright cruel as you pretend to be, your big, beautiful heart will always tell the truth. You’re kinder and more compassionate than you think, and you deserve that same kindness and compassion, tenfold. Please, don’t think otherwise.”
Soma lets his face go, and Cedric immediately returns to seeking comfort. Maybe in a few minutes he’d be able to face the world and decide what to do next, but for now, all he wants is to continue being hugged.Â
Above, staring down at them from a window, Ciel frowns at the display.Â
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
âś“ Live Streamingâś“ Interactive Chatâś“ Private Showsâś“ HD Qualityâś“ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I just happened to have a question about Kuroshitsuji. We are all wondering that who could it be that attacked the Phantomhives on the twins birthday and 2 of the most common theories r that either it's the queen or it's real Ciel.
However, I think it could be a bit different. Like maybe real Ciel, still being a child may not be the mastermind (although my viewpoint is kinda changed after seeing so many kids in real life turning psychos or murderers more often than ever lol XD). I remember Yana showing us the evil aristocrats in the circus arc from Vincent's time. We saw undertaker, Claus, dee, that photographer, one unnamed lady I think, and maybe some more guys. Here's the thing, what if it's one of them that backstabbed Vincent? We know that Claus, undertaker and dee could never do that since they were there to help Ciel after he became the watchdog (although now undertaker took real ciel's side, somewhat). But not all of those people from Vincent's time came to serve his successor, which was our Ciel at that time. The photographer looked quite sus as well since he didn't necessarily take anybody's sides and would just do whatever would benefit him (like what if he's not just a photographer but an aristocrat under a fake identity?). Then whatever could have happened to the rest of those evil aristocrats like that lady for example. Did they just stop being evil or being related with the Phantomhives especially after what happened to the Phantomhives or did they really betray Vincent? What if somebody was grooming (not in the sexual way) real Ciel and was collecting all sorts of information from him like how the Phantomhives may let their guards down on the twins birthday? It obviously seemed like the attacker was indeed close to the Phantomhives or else how did they manage to carry out this plan so perfectly? Also real Ciel did have a bubbly personality and was extroverted. We saw nothing of the boat trip that happened without our Ciel. What if real Ciel was hanging out with an adult with whom he would be talking about his problems (like how he didn't want his brother to leave him and open a toy store) and that person was taking advantage of real ciel's vulnerability to gather information about the Phantomhives. But real Ciel at that time may not have known that and maybe he trusted that adult but then sadly he realized that he was betrayed? What if that's the reason he looked more disappointed and guilty while being kidnapped (since neither him or his dad was able to see through that attackers real self) while our Ciel looked confused and scared.
Sorry for the long ask. Well, I want to know what you think, if you don't mind.
Hi Anon ! I'm having a busy day but I'm okay, I hope you're fine as well. :3
So, about the attack on the manor 4 years ago, I definitely talked about this subject many times, meaning next time, please do a quick check before asking. ;) Long story short, it's not "the Queen or real!Ciel", it's "the Queen, John Brown and real!Ciel".
For real!Ciel's motivations, please read my recap post about the RCMT theory (the name is definitely a misnomer yes, since real!Ciel was manipulated by Victoria and John Brown). Also feel free to browse the RCMT tag for more discussion.
As for the Queen and John Brown, here's the companion theory about the Fenian Brotherhood being one trigger behind Vincent and Rachel's death.
Lastly about Vincent's evil nobles that we have yet to meet, I think most of them are still working with the Watchdog, it's just that, like Dee, they may not all be in England.
As for any potential traitor, yes it's possible, though there is no real hint so far in the story (UT being a special case). To tell you everything, @dorkshadows and I, we bet on Klaus.
No real reason why, except that we see him a lot in the story despite him having, so far, 0 narrative significance. Also, we believe, unlike Dee who probably knew all along which twin our!Ciel was, that Klaus might choose real!Ciel's side in the upcoming future.
TL;DR Vincent probably became a political enemy of Victoria, so she indeed used real!Ciel's obsession for his little brother against his parents ("maybe you could replace your father as my Watchdog, that way I won't have to get rid of you and your little brother, also you would have enough power to make your little brother stay with you forever UwU").
Lastly, on December 14th, it's probably John Brown, as "Jane the maid", who killed most of the servants and abducted the twins.
My blog's missing a post about John Brown's motivations, as a demon staying for about 50 years by Victoria's side, but @dorkshadows and I discussed a few ideas that I'll share publicly at some point when I have time.
I’ve seen a lot of discussion over whether Snake will live or die, however I haven’t seen anyone approach that question from a thematic angle. I never expected Yana to go for the route of potentially killing Snake but now with his fate hanging in the air, I’ve been thinking about how him living or dying would impact the thematic buildup of “lie becoming truth” vs “cruel truth.”
If Snake lives, we can have more development of his breakdown of the self over his cruel truth and how he deals with it, further setting him up as a point of comparison to Our!Ciel.
But if he dies, the tension hanging over the point of how Our!Ciel will deal with his cruel truth (which I think will be RCMT) will be all the more intense. If Snake broke down and died before he could come to terms with the cruel truth, then what’s Our!Ciel going to do?
Ever since last chapter, I’ve been thinking about how the whole “lie becoming truth” vs “cruel truth” thing going on with Snake/Doll works perfectly as thematic buildup to a RCMT reveal (how RCMT affects OC’s arc and lie is going to be a major point on my masterpost update).
However, I never expected Yana to straight up do with Snake exactly what I expect would happen when OC faces the cruel truth of RCMT (the screaming, thinking back to the happy shots of the family with the awful truth in mind now, the denial). I’m still kind of just in shock right now.
About Real!Ciel, the major thing that I think is that it's not really him anymore, the core of a person is his soul. And his soul is gone. It can't even rest because it has been eaten.
Of course he's "alive" now thank to blood transfusions and fake memories/record but it can't go for forever. It's still the memories of a child. He's can't mature and he can't change, he can't grow up. He's stuck in the past. And I really doubt that his body can't stay forever in this state. Blood transfusions or not, there a point where his body will reach his limit.
Somewhere he still the ten years old who did a tamtrum because his sibling wanted to do something different of him. He's a zombie who will never grow up, mentallly and emotionally. He can't have differents "thoughts" that what he is "programmed" to have as bizarre doll. He's not "programmed" to change Because the memories must be very closes of what he was when he was alive.
If "this day" never happened and that the twins didn't lose their parents, weren't kidnapped, tortured, abused and Rea!Ciel killed…well he may have grow up to be better. Pretty sure that his parents would have done something. The twins grow up without knowing other children than their cousins so Real!Ciel could say "don't need anyone else". But who know, Real!Ciel could have make friend at Weston. He COULD have grow up nicely. We'll never know :/
We can't judge a 9/10 years old, because he's a child (it's more his parents who arer to blame to not have done anything about it sooner). But sadely the child he was is dead and he's just a zombie with "fake memories/record". I just hope that one day he'll be able to rest, because it's not a life, it's even not really him.
Hey Anon! Okay, so I totally agree with you on the idea that, yes, as a bizarre doll, real!Ciel's growth is stunted and he will never be able to be the same as "if he hadn't died and had grown up to now be nearly 14".
Let's be real : UT's greatest wish is impossible, he's biased and full of sorrow, it's made quite clear in the story.
However, where I disagree with you is that I don't think real!Ciel would have grown up as a good person with a lot of friends.
Contrarily to what you seem to think, it is hinted several times that he only truly cared about his little brother, to the point of obsession, because he only thought about him as family (compared to Ann and the Midfords, it's really made clear in the Japanese version, especially compared to how our!Ciel thinks, you can read the explanation here).
Another striking example is, in a short bonus chapter (ch99.5, that you can read here), he even refused to think about getting "fake brothers" at Weston, when Vincent explained who Diedrich was to him.
That's actually the RCMT theory (recap post, tag), which I just detailed to another Anon (unless you sent both asks) and which hypothesizes that real!Ciel is probably an accomplice who played a part in the attack on his own home 4 years ago.
Why is still unclear, but I personally think he wanted at least his father to die, so that he would become the next head of the family, with absolute control over his little brother's future (or so he thought, as a kid). That or he was tricked into helping to kill his dad, so that he and his brother would remain safe afterwards.
So, as a BD he's stuck in the past, yes ! but as such he's also even more obsessed with the idea of "being together forever" with his little brother, because of the episodes of "yearning for the future" that were implemented on his cinematic record, which is why he's a villain.
Look Anon, I get it : he died a terrible death, so it's easy to want to pity him. But with all the hints we've gotten about the kid he was before his death ? I kinda really doubt real!Ciel would have grown up to become a good adult. Not when he possibly played a part into his parents' murder at the age of ten years old, motivated by his obsession with his little brother.
Of course, you're free to interpret his character as you want, but try not to blind yourself with lies, in case you want to decipher where the story is going. :) Also yes, we will find out about the entire truth when it's time. So all the more reasons to get ready for it, because it's certainly going to be absolutely ugly. ;)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
âś“ Live Streamingâś“ Interactive Chatâś“ Private Showsâś“ HD Qualityâś“ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
What if the day of the manor has been attacked, Real!Ciel had realized what happened when nobody came for them? The twins waited for a while and realized that something was wrong. Then Real!Ciel make a face who seems to indicate that he may know something.
What if this something was just that Vincent had told him that "it" could happen (after all Vincent seems to feel that his death could be close)? And he goes out to see if he could find a safe route to go out of the manor but get captured on the way?
What if Real Ciel thought "so the day has come hu?" and focused to get his brother in safety first by finding a way out?
I guess we'll never know :/
Hey Anon! Well, first of all, I'm pretty sure we'll know the truth one day about what took place when the manor was attacked, considering it's the main mystery of the manga, hahaha. xDDD
Secondly, yeah I think real!Ciel pretty much had an inkling as to why Tanaka was late...
...but unlike you, I think it's because he was an accomplice to the attack on the manor 4 years ago and knew what was actually happening. Until he got double crossed (can't be helped, he was ten years old and probably didn't see it coming) and ended up sold with his twin brother, that is.
In case you're not familiar with the theory called "the real!Ciel mastermind theory" (its name's actually a red herring, because in this theory real!Ciel is only an accomplice of the mastermind, who is the true target of our!Ciel's revenge), I have a recap post and this theory also has its own tag.
Oh and might I also suggest visiting @cielsama14's blog? They're very dedicated to this theory!
TL;DR don't sweat it Anon, this is completely a plot point and we'll get our answers one day. However, I think real!Ciel is real guilty, up till a certain point in the massacre. Feel free to make your own opinion. :))
Layla stabbing Bard looks to mirror Tanaka’s back wound from the attack but with a key difference.
Layla is a bizarre doll with enhanced strength and the wound she gives Bard is much bloodier compared to Tanaka’s wound. He also needed blood transfusion technology to survive it in contrast to Tanaka (who would also have less stamina compared to the younger Bard) appearing to have recovered in a normal hospital.
So maybe this comparison could enhance the point about Tanaka’s wounds being shallow, more like something an attacker who’s not strong would do. The parallel could be saying that this is what a back wound from an actually strong attacker looks like.
Maybe its a unpopular opinion but i think that Real!Cile wouldn't be like that if he had still his soul (so if he was still alive). I think that the lack of soul has a impact. Bizarre Doll can love without one but on the long term, i think that there are consequence. Soul are often tied to rationality, emotions and stuff like that. Real!Cile didn't have grow up, Undertaker has just mess with his memories+body. His obession over his little brother would have vanished with time but without soul...
Hey Anon!
While I agree that Bizarre Dolls are definitely more messed up and insane than alive humans (because their record is edited, namely with their "yearnings for the future" being implemented, turning them into obsessed zombies), to this day I still think that real!Ciel's obsession with his little brother was not your usual childish whim.
I've written about this in the past, so if you're interested in a more detailed analysis of the twin, please read the following posts:
The main difference between the twins
Personal take on the real!Ciel "mastermind theory" (RCMT)Â
The RCMT tag
Feel free to disagree, of course, and I don't know whether or not it's an unpopular opinion in the fandom but it's certainly not one I share. :))