#razycrandomcunt

Oh. Ohhhhhhh.  I’d have to go back and rewatch but as of right now I’m not sure.  However, the part of me that loves that angst (and the subsequent opportunity to soothe it) wants that to be the case.

It also occurred to me during the sex scene with Wei that he might have an aversion to someone covering his mouth and telling him to shut the fuck up.  Admittedly I was not paying close attention as I have an aversion to sex scenes in general so I didn’t catch his expression but that’s just the thought I had when it happened.  Knowing him it could also turn him on because trauma is fun like that.

Looking back on the season I’m seeing all the little ways the events on Ilus were almost designed to get beneath the cracks and shake him up.  Murtry is like the man who controlled him.  Wei is who he could’ve been had he simply decided to follow the first person to help him out of the muck with nary a question about what benefitted them about saving a remorseless loyalist.  And then events themselves like being tied to a bed and helpless to save his people, deadly unpredictable shit like the lightning, winds, floods, slugs and desperate people making the day to day unknowable, unstable, unsure, and then the blindness is the cherry on top of this proverbial sundae.  He clings to the blowtorch because he wants to “teach the others [slugs] a lesson.”  He dissociates so bad he can’t even hear Jim calling his name, doesn’t react at all until Jim touches him and then reacts violently, yelling and thrashing and trying to get Jim away from him until he realizes it’s Jim … because he thought that it was someone else touching him.  And they were going to hurt him and he’s tired of being hurt, he’s angry and lashing out and he’s just back in this horrible place he escaped from decades ago.  But none of that clicks until he talks to Wei.  Tells her about being five and living in a dark basement where he couldn’t tell the difference between nightmares and the waking horrors.

PODRICK PAYNE AND THAT’S THAT ON THAT

THE RULES: Don’t take too long to think about it. Fifteen albums you’ve heard that will always stick with you. List the first fifteen you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes. you may tag others, including me if you like. I’m interested in seeing what albums my friends choose…

Pink Floyd - The Wall Depeche Mode - Violator Beastie Boys - Check Your Head Led Zeppelin - Physical Graffiti The Cult - Love Angelo Badalamenti - Twin Peaks OST Mark Snow - The Truth and the Light David Holmes - Haywire OST The Doors - The Doors The Clash - Combat Rock Sigur Rós - Ágætis byrjun The Beatles - Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band Vangelis - 1492: Conquest of Paradise Graeme Revell - The Crow Hans Zimmer - The Dark Knight

Now I need your rating of the books pls.

I had to think about this a little, but here is my tentative ranking of the Novels from best to worst*:

1. Nemesis Games

This book was ON POINT. It’s the first time we got a POV chapter from all of the Roci crew, and the boys did it so well. Each arc felt important not only to the characters but to the story overall. And the story overall blew me away. Nothing felt cheap. It was and remains to be the high point of the series.

2. Caliban’s War

Listen, we got Bobbie and Avasarala from that book. That’s enough for me.

3. Cibola Burn

The world building in this book is beyond anything I could have imagined for the series when it first started out. It’s amazing. The characters and the landscape painted are the backbones for this particular story. Now, that’s not to say it doesn’t have its drawbacks. More than anything I want someone smarter than me to write an essay on women’s sexuality in men’s fiction and then shove it under Ty and Daniels noses because ELVI DESERVED BETTER THAN THAT SHIT STORYLINE. 

Fight me.

4. Leviathan’s Wake

I have a large emotional connection to this book, but it does have it’s problems. It’s a steady neutral when it comes to the series. Kinda easily forgotten.

5. Abaddon’s Gate

We got some great characters through this book with Anna and Clarissa, but it took me 4 months to read because it was just. so. slow. A lot of hurry up and waiting going on. There’s a reason they were able to stuff the last half of the book in two episodes. 

6. Persepolis Rising

It’s this far down on the list because I don’t think there’s another one worse than it, but it tied closely with Abaddon’s Gate. The concept was good, but it wasn’t really about the characters that we have come to know and love. And there were things, spoilers, that just....I almost started to not give a damn anymore. There were good things, half good things, but definitely not a book I’ll be picking up again any time soon.

7. Babylon’s Ashes

The only thing you need to know is 19 SEPARATE POV CHARACTERS! To me this created a fucking mess and, no matter how interesting the plot was, it just basically wasn’t worth reading imo. Also, that one character who deserved a way better death than they got. Just kinda gone like they didn’t matter, almost.

this is so tactical and interesting

oh man, i remember this feeling! i was at least warned by a friend about the rape content because i have major triggers in that regard, but the show still tugged my wig a bit lol.