#ranubis

Yup, Ross is in an interrogation room, a scowling MP just dropped a deformed bullet onto the table. The very one that killed Brigadier General Hughes. Ok, so what if it’s the same caliber as her pistol? This is the military, everyone’s gonna have the same firearm. What about the ballistic fingerprinting? Fire a round from her gun, and see if it matches with the killing round. Unless the Goths stole her gun for the murder and then returned it… Oh! Well that’s pretty damning - a requisition form for a single bullet. But that shot was fired to defend Ed… at the “unmanned” Fifth Laboratory that’s now a pile of rubble. An eyewitness? Bleh, that’s right, they would have seen Ross (or Gracia, but I’m assuming Envy switched back to Ross afterwards) leaving the scene. But who saw her? Paperwork that she fired one bullet around the time of the shooting, an eyewitness saw (someone looking like) her leaving the murder scene, and her only defense is family testimony that she wasn’t there that day. Yikes. Ok ok, she doesn’t have a good alibi, but what about motive? Why would Ross of all people want to kill Hughes? Explain that, copper! Outside, Armstrong’s been turned away from seeing Ross while she’s being questioned. And then Brosh comes running up. Ouch. He’s confirming Ross’ story, saying he fired a single round at the Fifth Laboratory too, but everyone’s ignoring his report. Armstrong wonders if the Conspiracy is trying to frame Ross for the murder. Episode 17 - “Cold Flame” Winry’s still looking sad, cleaning Al’s armor and remarking how up close she can see all sorts of dings and scratches. Al’s brrrrr, sorry, bit silly and creepy at the same time to see headless Al just calmly polishing his helmet. All Al can do is give a weak chuckle at the comment. Aw, why must my babies be upset? Winry asks Ed what their next move is. Ed doesn’t know. [Flashback!Elicia]: “Mommy… please don’t cry.” NO. BAD SHOW. VERY BAD SHOW. Ed asks what Winry thinks. The mechanic is surprised that Ed’s actually asking her for advice. Damnit, stop being melancholy, show. I don’t want to listen to Winry’s voice shake as she talks about the brother’s digging up dangerous information that could get them killed. [Winry]: “I mean, you could die… I’d still be here, and you’d just suddenly not be there anymore. Like my mom and dad.” GUH. Would you quit it, show? Stop being so Leto-damn depressing! So to sum up, Winry’s torn between supporting their goal to get their bodies back, but also wanting them safe and alive. In the end, she really doesn’t know what they should do. THANK you, Al! Little bro teases Winry about how nice she’s being, lightens the mood at the expense of a few more dings and scratches. Good for you, little guy. In the Warehouse, Falman and Barry are playing chess when the newspaper comes by, no question what the main story’s going to be. Yup, Falman takes one look at the paper and jumps to the phone. Ed’s in his room, going over his notes when WHAM Al bursts through the door with the newspaper. Wait, convicted?! The brothers rush out to see someone in charge. In prison, oh hey it’s Ling! Who’s complaining about his ID cuffs, while chatting up the guard. Wait, only 15? Huh, I was thinking early 20’s. Running guards? Intruder? Oh, the Ninjas must have finally tracked down their wayward master. Although the music’s a bit spooky… NOPE, not the ninjas! It’s Barry! How did he get out of the Warehouse? He’s just striding forward, bullets bouncing off of him.

Even Ling’s guard with a high-power rifle just knocks his helmet off. Crap, run red-shirts, ru- wait, he knocked them out? [Barry]: “This would be a lot more fun if I was allowed to cut ‘em up.” Oh! It’s a prison break! With the conspiracy framing Ross, Roy’s crew sent Barry to bust her out! How in the world did they convince him not to kill innocents, though? Ling asks the Soul Armor to let him out, Barry almost walks by, but picks up on Ling being from Xing. That opens the door for some reason, and Barry tells the Prince to go with him. Hey Ross, wanna leave this dump? Of course Barry has to be unnecessarily creepy breaking her out, but shows her the paper and offers an escape. After a bit of despairing about a life of crime and apologizing to her parents, Ross is heading for freedom. And methinks Barry has yet another crush on a tough lady. The Inquisitor gets news on the jailbreak, orders the men to scour the city for her and her violent accomplice (what, doesn’t Ling get any love?). Along with shoot to kill orders if she “resists”. Cue picture of Angry Roy donning gloves. So wait, was this your plan, or did your crew do this on their own? The escaped convicts are running through the alleyways, when oh hai Elric Brothers! [Al/Barry]: “Ah! You’re that guy!” Aw crap, the Elrics are trying to figure out what’s going on, but Barry’s irritated at them being slowed down, orders Ross to run to the Warehouse while he holds them off. Ross has to run into the darkness as the Elrics call after her, asking about Hughes. Aargh. Ok, ok, miscommunication continues to stand in the way of a good time, but as long as Ross can get to the- oh. Oh crap. [Pissed-off!Roy]: “You’re Maria Ross… right?” Roy. Roy, just hold on RoY ROY NO WHAT THE FUCK ROY That was an explosion. Um. Al’s arrived to find Roy facing away from a burnt… body. Um. Was Roy in on the plan? Part of me is thinking that this is a decoy, convince the authorities that Ross is dead (oh jeez this is gonna kill Brosh). And once “they got her” Barry was quick to run away… but if Roy wasn’t in on the plan? Then he was facing down the person that was convicted of murdering his friend. I honestly don’t know which way the show will go. ...those are the burnt ID cuffs. W 6186 Maria Ross. Kinda leaning towards Situation #2 here. Mid-show cards ID the Inquisitor as Henry Douglas. Back in the alleyway, Ed oh dear he’s charging Roy. And Roy just decked him. [Roy, adjusting collar]: “You threaten a superior officer?” Maybe he’s just acting so detached? If the Conspiracy is listening in, then Roy has to act the good soldier, following the “shoot to kill” order. Even if it means standing over the possible charred corpse of a friend of the Elrics. Leto, these poor boys. The MP have arrived, taking pictures of the evidence while Douglas demands an explanation from Colonel Mustang. Who has no chill as he questions if one of Roy’s crew helped her escape, just so that Roy could kill her personally. Roy calmly says such speculation is best avoided. All while the Elrics sit quietly against the alley wall, Ed glaring daggers at Roy. At the hotel, Armstrong’s apologizing to the boys for not telling them about the murder sooner, tries comforting Ed when he says that it was his fault. Wait, doctor? Ah it’s the hospital, not the hotel. Aaaaand the doc says while the body was almost completely destroyed, the dental work says… it was Maria Ross. Um. The Doc proceeds to chide Roy for turning her into charcoal, while Roy just sits on a bench and says nothing. [Doc]: “Is the vengeance as sweet as you imagined it?” Roy gets up to leave, when Armstrong… [Armstrong, trembling with emotion]: “Colonel… Please allow me to apologize for one of my own officer’s actions. I could never have imagined that Second Lieutenant Ross would commit such a heinous murder. She was so straightforward and earnest… compassionate… A truly fine officer!” Armstrong’s glaring at this point. Argh, if this is all an elaborate ruse to get Ross away, then Armstrong doesn’t know about it, does he? He’s not in Roy’s crew. So from his perspective while he speculated that Ross was framed, he believes Ross was killed by Roy in vengeance for Hughes. Roy just tells Armstrong that he looks fatigued, recommends he take some leave back where he was. No big city noise, and lots of beautiful women. Is… is that his way of saying Ross was sent east? Or just Roy being the womanizer from the shorts? Monsters in cages, Envy is meeting with the Goths and letting them know about Ross’ fate. Lust is irritated that the plan to keep Roy amiable fell through, but Envy points out that he shouldn’t be distracted with Hughes’ murder being free now, and that there’s a bonus of his crew not trusting him anymore. Cue Riza putting a request for leave on Roy’s desk. Ok, still hoping beyond hope that it’s a ruse, but if it’s not, if Riza’s leaving to get away from a murdering boss for a while… Leto. Roy approves the request and Riza briskly leaves, slamming the door behind her. Wait, Roy’s smiling? Please tell me… Barry’s humming while he sharpens his cleavers, Falman’s freaking out over Barry going out on his own? Crap, if there was a plan Falman wasn’t in on it? Oh, and Barry brought back Ling as well! Who’s building a signal fire/cooking a fish oh hey Ninjas, nice of you two to finally show up. [Snarky!Ling]: “Wow… Impressive response time.” Poor Falman. Roy’s chatting on his office phone, to Elizabeth? Wait, who’s this? Why does Roy call her when Riza’s not around? Where’s this character coming from, messing up my ship? In any case, Roy’s paperwork gremlins are irritated as Roy natters about how he hasn’t had a day off since he got to Central, invites Lizzie on a fishing trip. Sudden bombastic military music as the Blonde Trio lounge in their room, Ed goes to answer the door and SUDDEN MIGHTY ARMSTRONG PUNCH what the Leto. Ed’s sent sprawling as The Mighty Armstrong strides in and picks the boy up, announces that his automail is broken and says he’ll escort him to Resembool immediately for repairs. I am just as confused as Ed right now. The Mighty Armstrong glares directly at Al, saying that he’d stand out too much so he must remain in Central. Wait why are you breaking up the Brothers? What on earth is going on here? If The Mighty Armstrong needed an excuse to take Ed somewhere, was saying that his arm needed repairs while standing next to his mechanic and telling his brother that he’d stand out in his own hometown really the best one? The Mighty Armstrong’s carrying our Protagonist through the hotel foyer like a sack of flour, says that he can’t put the boy down because of his orders. From “him”? Cut to Roy being told that The Mighty Armstrong and Ed are on the train, causing him to smirk and think that “everyone’s out of the way.” What is going on?! Is Ross dead or not?! In the Goth Cage Room, Envy’s passes on a sketch of Barry as the one who orchestrated the breakout. No direct connection to the Colonel known, but Envy bets that he was the one behind it. Doesn’t know where Barry is though, complains that he’s short on manpower. Are these chimeras finally going to get play, then? Wait, what? [Lust]: “Looks like you’re finally on… Barry the Chopper.” [Humanoid in cage with bone-skull-mask-thing]: “Graaaah!” Hold up, did the Goth’s kinda-sorta resurrect Barry? But his soul’s still in the armor! Or is it like a soulless clone, a chimera copy? Oh crap if they can make chimera clones, as much as I freak out about having a shapeshifter the ability to make evil copies of our heroes has the potential to be much worse.

Do we have captions this time? We do! Awesome, it was so irritating last time not knowing if I was mangling names or not. We’ve got the second intro featuring the Xing contingent, curious how influential it’ll be having a foreign prince bopping along with the Elrics. (Also, I continue to be juvenile and giggle at one of the lyrics in the new song being “shite”. Hee.) We open up with a bird's-eye view of Central, then with Ed yawning at the train station. Al mentions that being spied on for hours is pretty tiring. Right, Ling’s ninja squad don’t trust the Elrics. But where’s the Prince? The Ninjas proceed to freak the heck out, Fu runs around the traintops calling out for the young lord as Lan Fan worries about him collapsing. Is Ling fainting a common thing, then? Ed just shrugs his shoulders at the absence of the freeloader and heads off with Al and Winry. Huh, music’s getting ominous. Oh, there he is, doing a Brooding Anime Rooftop Stare on the station’s clock tower, looking towards the center of the city. [Ling]: “Something about this country doesn’t feel right.” Well, the current speculation (backed by the freaking Fuhrer being a Goth!) is that they’re sacrificing people to make Philosopher’s Stones, so… don’t know much about Xing so can’t say if they’re any better, but it’d be pretty hard for them to be worse. Episode 16 - “Footsteps of a Comrade-in-Arms” In a run-down area of the city, a car stops and the blond-haired smoking guy (Havoc?) of Roy’s crew is checking in with the grey-haired member (I’ll get their names some day, I swear), dropping off food from the colonel. Oh, guess Grey’s been guarding Barry, who cheerfully recognizes “the smokin’ guy”. Not tied up and playing chess? Are they keeping him prisoner to try and get more info or more protecting their only source? Well, I suppose for a serial killer like Barry being kept inside at night and denied any chances to chop someone up would be uncomfortable. Still, Grey’s bored with the assignment, asks how much longer it’ll be. Havoc just says that Roy apologizes for the dangerous assignment, that Grey’s absence it being treated as sick leave… and if he’s seen in public by anyone he’ll get court-martialed. Yikes, ok then. No breaks for poor Grey. Any good news? [Havoc]: “Falman, I found myself a girlfriend!” ...well that’s nice and all for you, buddy, but I think Falman (thank you!) was looking for good news for him. Poor, poor Falman. Hey, it’s Ling! Taking another impromptu nap? A couple of cops are asking if he’s ok, he whispers about food… ah, trying for another free meal? Unfortunately for Ling, the cops less interested in feeding him and more interested in seeing his entry visa. Cue irritated cops dragging a crying Prince away. [Cop 1]: “Outta the way, everyone!” [Cop 2]: “Illegal alien coming through!” The Ninjas continue to freak over the absent master, while Ed says that they should stop by the military offices. Winry… decides to go straight to the Hughes’ house. Oh boy. [Winry]: “I can’t wait to see Miss Gracia and cute little Elicia!” Uuuuuugh. Make it stooooop. The Brothers are off to meet up with Hughes himself, while they think Hughes might have been stymied by Bradley’s orders to stand down they have info on the Homunculi now (and still don’t know the Fuhrer himself is one, gah!). Off to the court-martial office! Quiet somber music as the brothers run through the park. And right by the phone booth that Hughes was murdered in. Bleh this episode is not going easy. In the office, Sheska’s carrying around some books when another lady officer asks for a key to Room #3. Which freaks Sheska out, and she babbles about cleaning up the mess first? What, have you made that your private reading lair or something? Nope, not your lair it seems, but Colonel Mustang’s private napping chamber. Yikes, hope you had an alarm set, and it only wasn’t Sheska waking you that kept you from being late to a freaking Council Meeting. Wait, Council? I don’t think I’ve heard of that group before, I’m just assuming by the tendency for Anime Councils to be Big Deals that it’s the same in the FMA universe. The highest-ranking officers of the military? Sheska worries that Roy’s not getting enough sleep, he just waves her off and goes to the meeting. Staying up late doing research on the conspiracy, I gue- GAH new voice! Sheska freaks and identifies them as Captain Focker, who asks about the open storeroom and what Roy was doing. Uh oh, a watcher sent by Bradley? Double uh oh, in her concern for Roy’s state Sheska is telling Focker about how he seems to be researching the Fifth Laboratory. And the Hughes case. Bleeeeeh, more Hughes feels as Sheska gets sad about her getting her job through Hughes. Captain Focker walks away deep in thought, glasses obscuring his eyes. Uh oh. But then the looks up in surpr- That’s Captain Focker! Oh my Leto, that’s the real Captain Focker! Real Focker’s too busy looking at some piece of paper to notice a shapechange and red electricity as Envy takes on a new disguise. Shapeshifters: A security nightmare.

But it looks like Envy might have made a mistake, as Real!Focker’s now saying good morning to Sheska, who is rightly confused. A simple “Laugh at this clueless character” moment, or a break for the good guys? Roy’s washing up in a bathroom for this Council Meeting, takes a moment to stare mournfully into the mirror- until with a flush of a toilet his angsting is interrupted by The Mighty Armstrong, glinting manfully in his bandages while towering over the stall door. Hah! Armstrong remarks that Roy looks a bit peakish, who asks why Armstrong is bandaged. Oh right, Armstrong was involved in killing all of Greed’s human-chimera crew down South. He mentions that he ran into the Elrics down there, on their visit to their old teacher. But he couldn’t bring himself to tell them about Hughes. Armstrong makes his way out- [Roy]: “The Fifth Laboratory and the Philosopher’s Stone; the Stone’s key ingredients are live humans.” Armstrong comes to a halt. Roy continues about how Hughes died following up on the Elric brothers’ investigation, and how if/when they find out they’ll blame themselves. He says Armstrong not telling them was kind, and Armstrong compliments him on figuring out so much. But warns him that he never knows who might be listening. Riza’s waiting out in the hallway when Ed walks up and says hi, although he’s not as happy when Roy joins them. Oh yeah, Elric didn’t know about Roy’s promotion. Now if he’s hanging out in Central it’ll be the same place as good old Colonel Mustang. The sarcasm in Ed’s “Great” is astounding. As for the Elrics, they’re just doing some information gathering. And might pay Hughes a visit later in the day. Where is he, anyway? Roy… says that Hughes retired. Went out to the country with his family to run the family business. Really, dude? I get that it’s a sore subject, but the “he went out to the farm” excuse only works for so long. They deserve to know what happened. Well, with the false story the boys think that they should tell Winry, they spin around only to run into Lieutenant Ross. She asks about the rush, Ed mentions that they heard about Hughes… and Ross isn’t in on the “tell them the farm story” excuse. Oh boy. Uuuugh, the two conversations sliding right past each other here is painful! And here’s the kicker: [Al]: “He retired to the country and they promoted him?” Ross realises she did a no-no, covers her mouth to keep from saying anything else. And Ed realizes the truth. Mid-episode cards: Captain Focker with an Envy silhouette behind him, and a downcast Gracia Hughes on the second. Notable for both Narrator “Full-Metal Alchemists” being the sad, somber one. Out in the city, Winry’s shopping for apples, presumably to give to the Hughes’ family. And Ed races out of the building after hearing the new. [Lt. Ross]: “Brigadier General Hughes is dead… He was murdered shortly after you were discharged from the hospital, Edward. I’m afraid we still haven’t found the person responsible.” As he runs and cries, Ed blames himself for pulling Hughes into the investigation. Flashes of Happy Hughes and his family, a memory of Hughes seeing them off at the train station and inviting them to drop by again, hosting dinner, first meeting them and inviting them to his home… Al catches up with the suitcase and then stands there silently as Ed slumps against the wall. And now we’re with Winry, who’s arriving at the apartment. The door swings open- [Elicia]: “Daddy?!” Oh no, that’s fine. I didn’t need that heart anyway, go ahead and use it as a footrest show. The Elrics have arrived at the apartment building, when Al asks what they should do Ed tells him to go back, that he’s “the only one who has to take the blame for what happened.” Oh my Leto kid you have enough self-imposed guilt from Mama Elric and Nina, stop taking the weight of the world on your shoulders! Al argues that it’s on both of them, and double all my protests that Ed does not deserve this for his little brother as well. Ed tries to dissuade Al again- [Al]: “We made up our minds; We said we were getting our bodies back, no matter what. But if people are going to die because of that… then I don’t want mine back.”

Episode 15 - Envoy from the East We open in a city at ni- wait, what’s with the electricity? I thought the Terminator died last episode? Ah, an Alchemist duel, got it. In the alleyway the smoke clears to show what. What is this. Why am I looking at an Evil Mister Monopoly?

Mr. Monopoly is chuckling as he fights oh hai Scar, how’s it going? No sunglasses? Heeey, this episode doesn’t have any subtitles. How am I supposed to spell this guy’s name then? (currently boasting that he’s the Silver Alchemist, name sounds vaguely Italian) Whatever, I’ll just stick with Mr. Monopoly. Not like he’ll be around much longer, facing Scar. Mr. Monopoly is certainly living up to his name, Transmuting numerous presumably silver weapons to fling at Scar. Doing fairly well too, dodging the Ishvalan’s attacks when he has a peg leg. Captain Monopoly, then? But it doesn’t last, one scratch is exchanged for a broken peg leg, the Silver Alchemist takes a bath and gets a Face Death Grab. Bye, Captain Monopoly! Ooh, new intro! Seems we’ve got a guy singing the intro this time, pale-shaded Al and Ed before we get normal-colored Ed on a hill reaching towards the sun/title. Hey, the captions are back! Wait no, it’s the gossiping at Central from last episode, Roy walking through the hallway. Guess the captions are broken this episode, turning them off. Odd. Intro continues with clouded skies, Ed and Al sitting under a tree- suddenly panda? Yeah there’s a little girl with a little panda on her head, striking martial arts poses. The titular “Envoy from the East”? Now another new character, older black-haired guy with a ponytail and sword standing on some ruins, what looks like a pair of ninjas drop into the scene before we transition. Quick shots of Roy’s Crew (Havoc, Furey, two others I don’t remember but one appears to be a Big Eater, and Riza) and Roy himself. Now we’re back to Ed glaring at the camera, a clear shot of Hohenheim/Papa Elric glancing back? Ooooh, they’re looking at each other in a graveyard, no doubt over whose grave is between them. Shot of metal-armed Ed getting pulled into the Gate, while a human right hand reaches for him? Dunno if symbolic or if he frak’d up again. Winry is sitting at a desk next to a picture board, we see the Elric Family with Papa Elric’s face still covered. Quick scenes of Scar surrounded by flames (“dang it, I did leave the stove on”), Lust and Gluttony on a rooftop at night (what the heck is up with Gluttony’s face?!), a dark red-eyed face surrounded by screaming masks (charming), an Uroborus left eye that I recognize as Bradley/Wrath, and Father/clearly Papa Elric sitting in his Pipe Chair holding a cup of “wine”. What is his deal, even? More fight scenes, Ed earthbending at Envy and Gluttony, Bradley firebending at Lust, werewolves charging at Panda Girl? Who’s got some neat Alchemy moves, cool! Then we get Bradley swordfighting Sword Man and the ninjas, who are actually getting in some hits? Seeing as we know that Bradley is a Goth now, this makes me very happy! Then Screaming!Scar fighting Screaming!Ed, screen whites out from their attack before we get Ed closing his watch (Don’t Forget Oct. 11), and the Elric Brothers walk along a traintrack into a desert. Episode proper continues with Scar, who does not seem happy and is asking “Who is this?” Inside the dilapidated house is that weasly guy from last episode who led the bounty hunters to Scar, is Scar crashing at his place? There’s also Intro!Girl, who politely introduces herself (going without captions here, apologies for misspelling) as Mei-Chang. And that is a little panda she has with her. Cute! Mei-Chang’s saying that “Master Yoki” (Scar shoots Yoki a look at this) found her collapsed by the side of the road and brought her to the house. Scar tries to shoo her out as she’s feeling better now, but Mei sees that Scar’s leg is cut, and says that she’ll close the wound. She sets up a standard circle-star TC, but puts shuriken at the corners? Oooh, we get to see foreign Alchemy styles now, neat! Scar and Yoki are shocked to see the injury healed so quickly, Mei says that’s it a skill called (please forgive the spelling, not having captions is really annoying) “Alcahestiry from the land of Shing”. Yoki scoffs at Mei’s claim that she crossed the desert from the east, Mei insists that she did it along with Shao-Mei (Assuming the tiny panda here). Scar is shocked when said panda looks back at Scar while Mei’s saying all this, he reaches out to either Hand O’ Doom it or pet it, I can’t tell which. Mei looks back though, and Scar freezes. Which means Mei sees his tattooed arm and identifies it as Alcahestiry? Ooh, Scar family backstory! Scar says that his brother researched both Alchemy and Alcahestiry (so there’s a distinction between the practices, then). Mei is very complimentary of his brother’s skill. Methinks that Scar doesn’t like to think about how he got the tattoo, though. Yoki notes that with Scar healed they can continue on to Central, Mei invites herself along. Saying something about immortality? Yoki dismisses her, and gets a bite from the panda for his rudeness. Ha! We get a mental monologue from Mei that she knows immortality doesn’t work with Alcahestiry, but it is possible through alchemy (Yoki’s behind her still screaming about the panda eating his hand, Scar’s sitting clearly already Done With This). That’s why Mei’s here, to meet the man she’s heard so much about. Wait, what’s with the roses and music… uh oh. Oh dear Leto no. Mei’s got a crush on Edward Elric. As cute as that is, I think Ed’s a little old for you, dear. Also, Winry. Central at night now, a blond woman (looks kinda like Riza) is walking her dog through an alleyway when the dog spins around and starts growling. Creepy laughing? Aw crap I know that hollow-voice, that’s Barry the Chopper! Run! Wait… ha! Ok, sorry for not recognizing you properly Riza, haven’t seen you out of uniform before. When faced with a Soul Armor serial killer, Riza just pulls a pistol from her groceries and starts blasting at the panicking Barry. Who tries to freak her out by removing his helmet? Pfft, sorry dude. That might work for some civilians, but Hawkeye knows Al. She just blasts his helmet away. Which makes Barry start crushing on Riza? Ew, no. Also, props to the dog who’s gnawing at Barry’s cloak. We’re at a warehouse now, puppy standing guard as it seems that Barry’s being questioned by Roy and his Totally Non-Military Civilian Friends. With Barry the crew’s got the lead on the secret lab that Bradley ordered Armstrong not to discuss. Now that Roy’s clued into the military producing Philosopher Stones, he wants to investigate the researchers- but it seems that when their research was done they got used to make Stones as well. Roy also asks if Barry was the one who killed Hughes, but that’s a dead end. Hey, it’s Rush Valley! Finally, we get to see Winry again. How’s her apprenticeship going? The mechanist is walking out of a story when she hears a familiar voice: Edward! Who’s reeeealy hoping that she’s in a generous mood today. Because yeah, Ed’s arm took a bit of a beating in the last episodes. Winry is not happy about this. Later, Winry is patching up Ed’s arm (who is slumped on a table, blood-stained wrench by his side), chiding him for getting into trouble even when their pickpocket acquaintance has an honest job as an odd-job woman. As for the brothers, they’ve made some progress but can’t give any details. Winry’s dones with the patch-job, but still needs a few parts to finish it, so until then she shoo’s the two out to kill some time. Ed’s complaining about there being nothing to do as a non-engineer in a town of nothing but automail shops. But Al’s found something in an alleyway. Aw, do we get a cute “caring for a stray cat” episode? Actually, wasn’t there a white cat in the credits scene? Oh! Not a cat then, rather an unconscious Intro-Sequence character in the form of Sword Guy. And rather than an extended healing sequence, we cut right to the guy (who sounds an awful lot like Vic from Red vs Blue) chattering away at a table piled with dishes, saying that they shouldn’t quibble about who’s paying (not him). Sword Guy says that he’s from Shing (sorry, actual map shows up saying that it’s Xing), and he crossed the desert to visit the ruins of Xerxes. *notes namedrop for future episodes, there’s no way that mention won’t pay off later* Sword Guy (when are we getting his actual name?) is info-dumping about Alcahestiry, saying that it’s actually Alchemy, or probably closer to Bio-Alchemy given the emphasis in Xing for healing. Ed remarks that for Amestris it’s more for military, what with border skirmishes to the south (Aerugo) and west (Creta), with a huge country Drachma to the north, with a sort of Russian Agreement: tentative non-aggression treaty and there’s a wintery mountain range between them, but relations are dicey. Finally there are introductions, Sword Guy says he’s Ling-Yao. Buuuut he’s not actually an Alcahestrist, he’s just in town looking for something: *dramatic eye opening* The Philosopher’s Stone. Aw come on, I was just starting to like this guy. Don’t tell me he’s another “Immortality at the expense of other lives” jerk. Ed claims that he doesn’t know anything, Ling wonders if they’re lying, snaps his fingers and SUDDENLY NINJAS!

*Sigh* Yep, Ling smirks and says he want’s to achieve immortality. Well we did kill off Greed last episode, I guess we needed someone to take his place. Mid-episode pause here, we get character portraits for May Chang (w/ Shao May) and Ling Yao. Ok, so got Sword Man’s name right, I blame Avatar for mistyping May’s name. Back to the show, Ling’s telling Ed to spill the beans, Ed bluffs that it’s a bunch of nonsense. Then he breaks free nope boot to the head. Al gets tossed too, these guys are no joke. But if they can survive Teacher, they can survive these ninjas! Across the city pickpocket-girl (sorry I can’t remember your name) notices the sparks and smoke from the fight, and Ling just laughs as he sees the fight move away and orders some dessert. Sliding along some awfully large pipes now Ed transmutes a metal staff (and of course damaging the infrastructure like that causes no immediate problems), but Silent Ninja is easily beating Ed in this close-quarters combat. Experience fighting other Alchemists? Ed rants about getting attacked just because he didn’t give them information, “you and your boss with the freaky closed eyes”- wow ok Silent Ninja really didn’t like that, tried to poke out Ed’s eyes. Yeesh. Aw, poor baby Ed. He was so proud to finally land a hit on Silent Ninja, but nope another boot to the head. But now that Ed’s seen that Silent Ninja’s weakness is insulting Ling (hmmm, sudden suspicions about Silent Ninja from that), he has a plan. Begin the trolling! On Al’s side of the fight, he’s running down the street when pickpocket girl starts calmly jogging along side him. Al’s happy to see Paninya (thank you!) again, asks her for a favor. Mustache Ninja is thinking about how “every living person emits a flow of ki”, but he doesn’t sense any from Al. So he doesn’t know that Al’s a Soul Armor, then? Quick Al, pull a Barry and remove your helmet! Suddenly Al and Paninya turn around, Mustache scoffs at the aid of one person- and we’re back to Ed vs Silent. Ed is doing what he does best and annoying the crap out of his opponent, a dodge and gutpunch later he’s got Silent by the mask and yup no surprises here that Silent is a lady. Ed is shocked (shocked I say) that he’s been fighting a girl. Buddy, you of all people should be aware that the ladies are some of the biggest badasses in this show. Riza, Winry, Teacher, a quick flash of Paninya aiming her cannon-knee… and Silent’s now neutralized Ed’s arm and dropped a grenade in his face. Ouch. The townfolk panic at the dual explosions (really? You lot live in a town revolving around Automail, I’d think you’d be used to events like this), Mustache is thinking that this county is a force to be reckoned with, when Al swoops in and binds him to the town’s sign and demasks him. Mustache is surprised to see “Alkahistry without an array”, reminder at how special the brothers are to Transmute without TCs. On brother’s end… things could be going a little better. We see Ed’s mechanical arm reaching up through rubble as Silent walks up, and now I need a new name for her as she complains that she overdid it and that Master Ling will be furious- aha, the arm’s detached! A snare is sprung and the ninja’s hoisted into the air, Ed reclaims his arm and chides her for using a weapon that would have killed anyone else. Callback to the island, setting traps for rabbits. Nice continuity! Al and Paninya arrive with Mustache in hand- And then Sword Man shows up all chipper, complimenting their skills and offering them jobs to take over the country. Ed’s giving this the proper response, when… uh oh. The townfolk aren’t very happy right now, somebody’s gonna have to cover all these damages. Ed points to Ling, who suddenly can’t speak Amestrisian good and skedadles. And of course in the few seconds we looked away from the ninjas there’s nothing but cut ropes now.

Welp, now to fix everything back up- oh right, Ed’s armless. Wait, why is it surprising that Al can Transmute without a TC now? This is a recent thing? I honestly thought he could do it from the beginning, my bad. Aw, chin up Ed. Just because your younger brother is taller than you and now he’s got your super special no-TC style as well, it doesn’t mean you aren’t important. Just… less so. Poor, poor Ed, collapsing in despair and writing something in blood. No subtitles here, can someone translate for me? Later that day, the Elric Brothers return to the AutoMail shop where Winry is apprenticing, and guess who they find? [Ling]: “Hello, we meet again!”

For the record, I chat with a coworker about shows every now and then, I’ve gotten him watching RWBY and update him on my Brotherhood progress. He was quite happy to hear that I’d gotten to Greed, and the implications thereof. I had been under the assumption that all the Goths were working together, but Greed is clearly working on his own plans independent of the main group. That accounts for the main Goths (Lust, Gluttony, Envy) and our immortality-seeker (Greed), which leaves Sloth, Wrath, and Pride unaccounted for. Looking forward to how they’re represented! Episode 14 - “Those Who Lurk Underground” Huh, same intro. We’re definitely past the midpoint (14/26), does Brotherhood not change? Hey, it’s Central! Overhead shot like when Mr. Freeze was casting a city-wide TC. Roy’s walking through a hallway as a bunch of Shadowy Officers gossip. Roy finds their skepticism amusing. Time to talk with the boss… only Fuhrer Bradley’s away? “Inspecting the South”? But that’s where the Elrics went. Maybe I’m being suspicious, but that’s an awfully big coincidence right after Bradley pushed to keep the Philosopher’s Stone experiments suppressed. In the sewers now, Dolcetto’s leading the Chimeras with Al in tow. Sudden sniffing (man that place has to stink even worse for Dog-Man), and they tense up, Roa just says it feels like old times. Ayup, there’s the eyepatch. Bradley’s outside the Devil’s Nest, not looking too happy. “What an interesting discovery for such a routine inspection.” Oh, oh my. Looks like Bradley’s in fighting mode, and he brought Armstrong and some mooks with him. I knew Greed was gonna get stomped by Izumi, this is overkill. [Bradley]: “Move in!” Ed and Izumi are facing off against Armored-Greed now. Who starts laughing at “a housewife and a hotheaded brat.” Yeah, let’s see how funny you find it after oh come ON! Don’t you run away you coward, we’re just getting to the good part. Bleh, what a time for Izumi’s internal injuries to act up.

Ok good the troops are here. Medic for the lady! Back to Al, who’s struggling against Martel. Worm your way to freedom, buddy! Aw, but Greed just showed up. Still love his smarmy attitude and how he nonchalantly says things have gotten “a little out of hand”, but you’re still holding my boy Alphonse. [Bradley]: “I can’t let you do that.” Ooooh! Was disappointed when Greed split and Izumi keeled over, but maybe we’ll get a good fight scene this episode after all! The Fuhrer is here, swords already drawn. Bradley starts monologuing about how it sucks getting old. Body stops moving the way you want it to, so he’d rather get this over quickly and go home. Greed just laughs and says he should retire- goodbye armor hand! Fight fight fight! Looks like Greed’s hand is regenerating, but nowhere near fast enough to take on Bradley who’s beating him like a pinata. Elsewhere Roa is going hand-to-hand with The Mighty Armstrong (who shed his shirt offscreen, of course). Or rather, hammer-to-hand. Actually, make that majestic statue-to-hand since Armstrong morphed the hammer into something far more fetching. [The Mighty Armstrong]: “Behold! *sparkle sparkle* You have just had the rare pleasure of witnessing the famous Armstrong statuary technique!” Gasp! Roa, how dare you simply throw away such a piece of art! The uncultured barbarian Hulks out to the point that even a direct Armstrong punch to the face doesn’t stop him. This one might take two. The Gun Mooks are dealing with the rest of the Chimeras as Ed and Izumi are taken to safety, per the direct orders of Bradley. So confirmation that Bradley knew there were at least Human-Chimeras there, if they’re carrying out prior orders. But how did he know? Oh dear, Armstrong is still facing Ogre-Roa, slammed into the wall. And may Leto smite you for the damage to Armstrong’s temple by scraping his face against the wall! Trading punches, The Mighty Armstrong commends his adversary, and in his mercy offers Roa a chance to surrender. But Roa oh come on you Mooks! I know you’re following Bradley’s orders but just wait a second and you might get a prisoner to question! Or just shoot the guy whatever. Until sudden rescue from Dolcetto, he cuts a pipe and the Chimera’s make their escape in the steam. Back to Greed, who’s pulled a Deadpool and regrown his hand. Punching, he knocks Bradley’s eyepatch off? But immediately gets sworded through the neck. [Bradley, with a scarred white eye]: “I understand why you’d think you have an advantage over a man like me since I possess neither your impenetrable Ultimate Shield, nor an Ultimate Spear that can pierce any substance. But I’ll tell you a secret. Do you know how I managed to distinguish myself amongst the storms of bullets on the battlefield time after time, to rise to my current position?” [Greed, who’s been better]: “Y-You’re…” Wait Wait wait wait His eye, his scarred eye, the one the eyepatch was covering Uruboros, his pupil is the uruboros symbol WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! Bradley’s a Goth?! One of the Homunculi? Ok ok hold up, let’s recount. We’ve got the Main Goths (Lust, Gluttony, Envy) and Greed on his lonesome. Greed knew of the others in that they “didn’t talk anymore” but not that they had access to Soul Armors like Al. And he didn’t recognize Bradley, so no connection there. But Bradley knew enough to come hunting Greed when the Elric Brothers got close, so the jury’s still out on him working with the Main Goths ala the Lab and coverup. Which implies that he’s connected to Hughes’ death but that’s a whole ‘nother thing, we’ll come back to that. So Bradley’s a Goth/Homunculi, possibly connected to the Main Goths pending confirmation, separate from Greed and seeking to kill him for unspecified reasons. So if we’re sticking to the Seven Deadly Sins naming theme, which is he? Sloth? Maybe a play on his super-speed power, but all the others have powers connected to their ability rather than in spite of it. Wrath? Again, generally calm attitude but maybe it’s a mask and he certainly gets angry when our characters haven’t been around to see it like here and against Mr. Freeze. And oh my Leto if he actually is Wrath I am going to scream, I was calling this asshole Fuhrer Fury just based on the eyepatch. If “Fuhrer Fury” was Wrath all along I’m done, I’m just done. That leaves Pride, which I can see as being the top dog of the Military, ties into his speech just then about distinguishing himself. So minor ironic support for Sloth, combat ability supports Wrath (uuuuuugh!), and status supports Pride. [Bradley]: “I may not have the protection of your Ultimate Shield, but I clearly see your weakness with my Ultimate Eye.”

The Goth of Undetermined Name withdraws his swords, and Greed collapses to the ground. [Bradley]: “Now then, Greed. How many times am I going to have to kill you before you stay dead?” Ok, creepy shot of Bradley’s Uroborus eye glowing in a shadowed face. Far away from the Reveal, Martel’s keeping Al put, wondering where Greed is. Footsteps? Hey, Greed’s coming back looking a bit worse for wear. Bradley let him go? Nope, just led him along with a sword through the neck. Jeez, just finish him off already, don’t drag it out. Oh, Al’s keeping Martel from getting out, saying that Bradley will kill her. Trying to protect your captor? Bradley says he’s killed Greed 15 times now, wonders how many more it’ll take. But don’t fret Greed, help has arrived! In the form of severely wounded Dolcetto and Roa. Huh. Despite them being kidnappers and failing to appreciate fine art, I can respect their loyalty to their boss. Misplaced and bound to get them killed, but still. Respect. And even before they go to die against Bradley, they tell Al to protect her. Cue heartwrenching screaming as she pleads for Al to let her out to help her friends. And Bradley cuts them down. [Greed]: “Whoa, that was a little excessive. Killing me is one thing, but they’re not coming back.” [Bradley]: “Pitying the lost lives of your pawns? Pathetic.” [Greed]: “Excuse me? Are you senile? Did you forget who I am, old man? I’m the living incarnation of greed. Those weren’t my friends, Bradley, they were my possessions! Money! Women! Henchmen! They’re all possessions! So killing my henchmen is the same as stealing from me! And I don’t let people take what’s mine!” Ok, you’re still overall a bad guy and I want you to lose, but damn if that wasn’t one of the most Slytherin things I’ve ever heard. It’d be better if you saw your henchmen as, you know, actual people. But still, that is an excellent way to phrase the Slytherin ideal of self-interest.

Episode 13 - “Beasts of Dublith” Izumi’s talking about Ed seeing “it” and surviving. Ooh, do we get info on Truth this episode? [Izumi]: “Regardless, I can’t accept the decision you made. You’re expelled.” What?! Teacher turns away, tells them to get on a train. Ed just bows and thanks her for everything. ...wow, I’d forgotten how hard this show can hit. Huh, same intro? I thought this was the halfway point of the season, don’t animes usually switch things up at this point? ...at the very least, I’d like them to change the into so I don’t have to see Hughes again at the beginning of each episode YES I’M STILL BITTER. Sig’s seeing them off at the station, saying they should drop by if they’re ever in town again. Sorry buddy, but I don’t thin- [Sig]: “You idiots! You’re so busy pouting you can’t see what your expulsion means; You aren’t her students anymore, so now you’re finally free to speak to Izumi as equals!” Oh. Ohhhh. Ok, so that was her way of ‘graduating’ them. I can see it. [Sig]: “Unless, of course, you’re too chicken to try it.” Suddenly Ed facepalms? There’s something you forgot to do? I thought the point of the trip was to visit your old Teacher. [Sig]: “Don’t let her kill you.” ...Gee, thanks for the advice. Ed gets back to the butcher shop GAH good thing Ed’s quick enough to duck knives. Izumi is not happy to see him again. But the Elric Brothers say that they’ve come looking for a way to get their bodies back, and that they are staying. A staredown commences.

Izumi… relents? Huh, I thought she would have kept this up until you stopped calling her Teacher. Time to talk about “the Truth”! Al didn’t see it, doesn’t even really know what it means. Izumi says he lost his memory from the shock… oh! Yeah, if the cost of what Ed saw was his leg, for Al to lose his entire body as the “toll”? Oh good grief you two, stop talking about how “awful” and “horrifying” it was, you’re scaring the kid. Izumi’s got a lead in an acquaintance who might be able to retrieve the memory. But first, dinner! Eavesdropper! We’ve got a Gollum taking a peek in the window, confirming that Ed can transmute human souls. Oh wow that’s a tail, is this guy part-Gecko? Back at Eastern Command, some old guy with bifocals is playing chess with Roy, expositing that he’s transferring in one week. (Subtitles say) General Grumman is giving the standard platitudes of “it won’t be the same without you”, “I got to relax thanks to your hard work”, ect ect. Hmm, noting that his glasses are consistently shiny, not a good sign. Ooh, that was a flinch, and yup, checkmate. Good job Roy! Grumman plays it off as a “going away gift”, Roy presses this charitable mood. Hello there, Master Sergeant Kain Fuery. Gotta be honest here, I’m still holding the loss of Fuhrer Fury against you, here’s hoping you can be a good enough character to overcome that bias. We’ve also got Warrant Officer Vato Falman, Second Lieutenant Heymans Breda, Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc-

No, not that Jean. And First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye as well. Seems that Roy’s added them to his own transfer, they’ll join him in Central. No objections! [Havoc]: “I’ve got a problem, sir. See, I just started dating this girl and I really like her.” [Roy]: “Dump her.” Wow. Remind me not to go to Roy for relationship advice. What is it you see in this guy again, Riza? Cut to some dude working out with a crude dumbbell. Oh hey it’s Scar! How’s it going buddy? Apparently he’s not supposed to be working out, the Ishvalan kid Rick chides him for aggravating his wounds. He opens the tent for someone else, and Scar looks shocked? [Scar]: “Master!” Ooh, a parallel episode! The Elrics and Scar working with their old teachers! I like these! Master’s talking with Scar now, saying he knows that his student’s been targeting State Alchemists. But regardless of their crimes, such vengeance will only cause further violence. Senseless revenge, feeding a fruitless cycle of death? Man this Master pulls no punches. He tells Scar to end this cycle once and for all- Suddenly two non-Ishvalans poke their heads into the tent, identify Scar and start talking about a bounty. Uh oh. Either Scar’s gonna ignore his Master, or we’ll find out why this guy is called Master even in the subtitles. Third guy is hiding behind some rubble, Ishvalan bystanders yell at Yoki for bringing bounty hunters. Man, another whiny Elric antagonist? Oh yeah, I’m sure that you’ll “rise up” and take your revenge. Total faith in you buddy. Off-topic, do you mind telling me when you plan to face them? I want to know when so I can sell tickets I mean show my support. Scar realizes that he’ll only bring more trouble, however irritating, if he stays there. Yyyyeah, you bounty hunters had no idea who you were messing with. One dismembering and face-grab later, Scar doesn’t even bother with Yoki, just dons sunglasses once more.

Master tries one more guilt-trip (“Your brother would be sad”), we get a dramatic zoom at Scar’s tattooed arm. Scar just says it’s too late to turn back now, and walks off.

Al’s sweeping outside the butcher shop when a ball of paper’s thrown at his feet. A note from Gecko-Man, Bido? Oh wow a place called “Devil’s Nest”, I’m sure it’s a quite reputable business. Some guys sniffs and jumps down to join Bido and a lady in the street, to greet Al as he walks up. A meeting? Ooh, did you guys try to blackmail Al? This can only end well. Nose-Man (Dolcetto) tries to get Al to come with them, one “Ooh, I’m just a widdle kid” act later… Uh oh! So while Dolcetto went down like a punk, Tatoo-Lady (Martel) took the advantage to get inside Al’s armor, slow him down for an older guy (Roa) to show up for a turn and wrestle the armor to the ground. [Al]: “You people aren’t human, are you?” No, really? What gave it away, the guy with a giant gecko tail? [Greed]: “Good guess! They’re Chimeras… And they happen to work for me.” Wait, Greed? Aw crap it’s another Goth! The Terminator from the intro, no less! So Al’s in some sort of basement now, Martel still keeping him controlled from inside the armor while Greed is starting some sort of pitch. So wait, how is Greed connected to the rest of the Goths? I can see he has the Uroboros tattoo on his hand like the others, but I’m getting a different vibe from him. Al asks what they really are, they can’t be Chimera’s because the only “talking Chimera” we’ve seen before was something I really don’t want to remember. Greed just says to not believe everything the government says. Martel’s part-snake, Roa was… cow? Ok. Throw in a lizard (still gonna call him gecko), a crocodile, and a dog. Man, Dolcetto’s not having a good time this episode. As for how these Human-Chimeras are possible, Greed says that they were created by the military. But he’s even more uncommon than they are: he’s a Homunculus. Wait, a Homunculus? Are you sure you’re using the right term there? I can understand Chimera, a mix of species, but my understand of Homunculi is that they’re mini-humans, basically familiars. Oh ok, so apparently the definition of a Homunculus in Brotherhood is a more general “artificially created human”. Flashback to Baby!Elrics studying alchemy, raising the point that yeah that’s Human Transmutation isn’t it? Al is really upset by this claim, saying that it’s just an unproven theory. So Greed says he’ll prove it SWEET LETO WHAT THE TRUTH ok Roa just went Thor on Greed’s skull, the corpse falls. But Al barely has time to ask what the heck that was for when the body raises a hand in a “wait a moment” gesture, and red sparks fly as Greed reforms good as new. Huh. So we’ve already know that the Goths are hard to put down (knife to the forehead), but to completely regenerate after your brain is splattered? Yeah, this is gonna be tough. So, back to why they’ve captured Al? Oh, that’s why? Sure Greed’s got a body that can recover from normally fatal injuries, but he still “dies”. Meanwhile, he’s got a moving, talking suit of armor right here! A body that never dies… Now this is really interesting, looking at two concepts of immortality: a regenerating organic form, or an unchanging metal form. Transhumanism, ho! Still, I don’t think that this is a form of “immortality” that you want, Greed. You want the finer things in life? Get yourself stuck in armor like Al, and you lose your sense of touch and taste. And you don’t strike me as the kind of guy who’s willing to give those up. Greed’s pushing to know how Al got his soul in the armor, Al truthfully says that he can’t remember how and that it wasn’t him who did it. So Greed’s gonna have to talk to the original caster. [Ed]: “Now where’d a seven-foot tall suit of armor run off to?” Bido tries to make Ed pay to know where his brother is. Bido gets used to open the basement door. Al tells Ed that Greed’s a Homunculus (“Hey! Way to ruin it.”), and that he might be able to help them with their body problem. But Greed shows off his Uroboros tattoo, which he has to know that Ed recognizes. Greed says that “they don’t talk much anymore.” A falling out? Greed makes his pitch: He’ll teach them how to make a Homunculus (to transfer their souls to?), if they teach him how to transfer a soul. “Classic equivalent exchange.” EEC: 8 Finally, I get to update that count! Given how much the phrase made Tephi snicker I thought I’d be hearing it more often, best I can tell the last time was… ugh, Tucker. Moving on. Well of course you don’t understand why Al would want his body back, Greed. You don’t know the limitations. [Greed]: “You’re joking, right? You don’t need to eat, you don’t need to sleep, you don’t even need to use the toilet! Sounds great to me!” Yup. Ed’s pissed. Greed can only applaud his monologue. There you go Dolcetto, go ahead and get Worfed. But Greed puts up much more of a fight, going into the terminator mode from the intro, blocking all of Ed’s attacks as an Ultimate Shield. So Ed’s basically fighting MGR’s Armstrong, then? “Homunculus, son!” [Greed]: “Oh. You’re one of those guys. You don’t care if someone beats the crap out of you, but if someone lays a hand on a family member you completely freak out. What a waste… you lose your temper like this and you’re gonna lose my information and your brother.” But Ed thinks he still has a chance. Until Greed shows that he was holding back so he didn’t have to cover up his pretty face. Sig’s found the dropped broom, evidence that the boys have gone missing. Because Leto forbid they skip out on their chores and invoke Izumi’s wrath. A passerby says they were seen going into a bar called the Devil’s Nest. In said bar, Ed is [SUFFERING IN PAIN], literally breaking his automail on Greed and getting thrown around. But he has a plan? Oh yeah, Alchemy! He shorts out Greed’s Ultimate Shield to bust up his organic hand, Greed grows it back quickly and remarks that that was bizarre. Another attack, and stalagmites to the chest! Chemistry for the win! Since Greed told Ed that he was human, Ed knew that a third of his body was made of carbon. He figured that Greed was using that to make his shield, just rearranging the atoms. So all Ed had to do was rearrange them right back, graphite instead of diamond. Alright! Big Letodamn Hero entrance by Izumi! Who throws a mook at Ed and yells at him for not putting the broom away. [Greed]: “Oh give me a break. Don’t tell me you’re going to try and start anything, lady. It’s no fun fighting a woman.”