#ranty bits

I was raised on competitive sports; I had a favorite player, a favorite position I liked to play, teams I followed until they inevitably didn’t make it to the world series or Stanley cup or whatever.  My favorite player(s) usually depended on their performance, their record, PERSONALITY, even just the number they wore. If they were good at their job, it didn’t matter to me if they were super young or super old chronologically. I literally once chose a favorite baseball player based solely on the way they wore their socks. (The right way; socks to just below the knee.) They were just my favorite. 

K-pop (and J-pop, and lots of other pops) is like this; it’s like the arts’ version of sports. You have a favorite team, a favorite player, and you hope they win a ton of awards. They’re under constant scrutiny and pressure to perform. Dancing is fucking hard, and it’s a lifestyle. So is singing. You dedicate your life 24 hours a day, 8 days a week to achieve the best possible outcome. Add in acting. Add in ridiculous schedules. Add in self image and other self esteem issues. Calculate in health and wellness. The music industry in other places isn’t nearly as much like this; I haven’t seen its like anywhere outside of certain parts of Asia. It’s competitive as hell. So many of them start as *children* and need all the support they can get as they’re away from their families.

So it doesn’t matter to me who I choose as an idol/bias to follow or support, whether they are older or practically fetal; if they are my favorite they’re a favorite and I’ll support them. I think it’s only creepy if you MAKE it creepy by adding a sexual element to it disproportionately to your age group. Don’t write creepy porny shit about people under the age of 18. (if you REALLY need to write it at all) ESPECIALLY if you’re hella older. That’s creepy and also not legal. Music is literally for all ages to enjoy and always has been, so don’t let people make you feel bad about your age ever. (Unless, as above, you’re breaking the law.) I say this because it is SO important to me that: 1.) Young people don’t get shit for having older biases. You can be ten for all I care and love listening to Shinhwa. So many of these older groups are altruistic, have tons of experience, have worked on so many projects, there’s a good reason they are called idols. You can and should look up to them if you choose to set them as role models. 

2.) Older people don’t get shit for having younger biases. If you’re old enough to be someone’s mother or father, don’t sexualize your favorite. Duh. Don’t sexualize anyone under 18 anyway. Respect your favorite artists. Remember; things like rice wreaths exist as a way for older fans with cash to spend to show their support. Don’t feel like because you’re older than 25 or 30 or 50 you have to stop liking something because it’s “for teens”. What a pile of shit. I know people still think that but they think that about EVERYTHING because they’re judgmental.

And seriously, people, don’t assume shit about someone based on who their favorites are. That’s an awful thing to do. In fact, just stop shitting on fellow fans altogether. 

Anyway, k-pop and sports have a ton more in common in addition to the above things about choosing favorites and the never ending roll of seasons/comebacks. It also drains our wallets wholly, dictates our choice of clothing, and decides how many posters are actually acceptable on one wall. You know. That kind of thing. 

I’m guilty of it too when I try to comfort someone I often think of something similar and let the person know. It sounds like I’m making it about me.

But in this case I mean unsolicited, “be thankful you don’t have my life” kind of thing. I work at a ballpark where home stands and catering has me working 12+ hour shifts everyday with almost no breaks taken by me. I love my job. But the hours are a lot.

Yesterday was my first day off after working 12 days in a row. I posted a kind of funny status about my day off. “Expectations: Dishes, laundry, Borderlands Reality: Cutthroat Kitchen and cooking in my pjs. Close enough.”

My twin sister (with two kids) comments and asks if I had to deal with any sabotages. I laugh and say no. Several hours later, someone I only kind of know through my best friend (we’ve never met and haven’t spoken in a few years) comments and it pissed me off?:

“I wish my days off were that simple. I am a mother of four kids so when my day is over its never over until the kids go to school and then I have top do all the cleaning. Be thankful you have it rest”

and by ‘we’ i mean only the doctors and nurses get to do it on their receptionist that works for them.

like i can handle criticism pretty well but i’ve poured my heart and soul into my job (despite me bitching about it a lot lmao) and i love it a lot at times and if i get negative reviews i’m 90% sure i’m going to lose it and leave because idk. anything i do i do with my heart behind it and i’m having such bad anxiety about it. this shit was just sprung up on us and i had no time to mentally prepare for it.

idk like. no one even knows i cried about it today because i just went and hid during my lunch break. i’m not looking forward to this and i dunno where the hell it came from. i think i’m more concerned for my friend pat. she’s been there for 25 years and does her best but she’s worn down and tired and drained and her doctors are just terrible to her. they don’t talk to her at all. they don’t communicate to her. anything they say goes through the nurse. when something goes wrong it’s her fault. during holidays they give their nurses really nice gifts and hand pat some cheap thing like lotion from walmart?????? and not even exclusively holidays. on birthdays or just random days they give their nurses nice things. they never once gave pat a birthday gift. for administrative professional’s day, pat got nothing from them. for nurses’ appreciation day, the doctors got their nurses flowers and gift cards to a fancy restaurant in town here.

went to the nurse and said. 'julie. patient x's son is a jerk.' and the three other nurses in the area stop and go. 'ohhhh yeah. yup. uh huh.'

it didn't clue in to me that this was the same guy who yelled at me when he arrived late because... he was late... he literally got mad at me because of the traffic lights. i stared at him and said. 'son, if i had the power to control the traffic lights i wouldn't be sitting at a red light for a day in my life. now you go park it in a seat out there and don't talk to me unless you can with your inside voice.' and he was so embarrassed and slithered back to his seat.