#rantbollocks

Rumours, drama and fights. Things that are commonly found in high-school (or middle-school in other countries)  But the good things about these problems that you find out who your real friends are, get rid of grudges and you let go of anger inside of you. This week i have a all three come at me at once. Rumours, drama, fights, people wanting to jump etc. 

Let me tell you the story first (very confusing story my gosh and keep in mind, this happened on monday and tuesday)): 

So i have told one of my closest friends a deep-ass secret. While i was telling him (about the secret) i also told him that i suffer from depression and anxiety and i have a lot of trust issues. He promised not to tell anyone. This week my 'brother from another mother' told me that this "close friend" has told my ex bestfriend about this little secret through facebook messaging and showed me screenshots. IT.WENT.DOWN. 

Girl i played FBI, asking so much questions and trying to investigate and confront my "close friend" and my ex bestfriend. Now this bitch, this fucking oh my god, bitch decides to take this fight onto twitter, where the whole entire world can see. So we start arguing and i ask him "why put this on twitter, you can PM me" i tried not to say anything rude but this guy. just horrible. him and his friends. 

I log off twitter didn't want to deal with bull-crap. Finally got back on and OTHER PEOPLE. GOD-DAYUM. OTHER PEOPLE. started to jump in. Firstly they dont know what's going on, secondly all they did was insult me telling me to "get help" "needs help" "thinking she's top bitch" (well i don't think, i know honey). 

Monday morning school starts. I admit, i get really emotional, i cry really quick. 6 of my other friends that i walk up to in the morning before homeroom starts walk away from me. i was like "meh fuck it" and just walked over to my other friends. *locker room time* i waited for this guy who tweeted. "She needs help obviously loooool" (he really tweeted that) . That really offended me considering you know i have dep... whatever. So i wait for this bitch. Now those 4 friends in the morning. Walked up to them and i asked "why are you guys not talking to me, is there a problem?" completely ignored me and one of them just starred me down.  

NOW HE FINALLY COMES. I walked straight up to him and said "Don't jump into fights if you don't know what they're about and saying 'you need help' to someone who has something going on is really offensive" he replied "lol ok". OOOH THIS BITCH! soon as he went down to his locker (the lockers in australia are really different and tiny and crap) as soon as he went down to his locker. THIS IS SPARTA! kicked his back hit his head on the locker and luckily my home girl was pulling me back. as for one of my "friends" all she did/say was "PISS OFF BEKAH". yeah thanks some friend you are. 

*period 1* p.e teacher allowed me to use the punching bag in the gym, thank the lord for her existence. Nothing goes on until period 3-4-5 and home time. Another "break-out" but this time it was rumors about me talking "shit". Another group of friends started this. 

i confronted them, told them that what they heard wasn't true but yet, these "friends" of mine decide to believe that person at the end of it i was like im done! you know, if you were my friend you would have believed me instead of that random who told you these lies. And  they wouldn't tell me who said these things. Something smells fishy, dosen't it? oh well. they were all ganging up against me, saying things on social media that can effect my self esteem and that can effect my social health etc. it was difficult time but i gotta "LET IT GOOooOOOOoo" 

if  my 'friends' turned against me, it's not the end of the world. less then 1% of the world and school. i'll be fine :) and if they believe strangers, go for it! of course i wasn't always like this at first. 

i was crying because i was losing all my 'friends'. but then i thought for a bit. if they were my friends. they would not have ignored me, they would have believed me and they would have tried to sort it out to end this problem. try to find a solution. But if they are not trying to do those things and all they do is fight, just walk away. They can fight themselves. what is there to fight for? i know i was wrong for kicking that guy in the back, but that felt so good but that's bad, oh well. 

this girl tried to act all nobel and stuff by saying "im gonna report this if everyone gets involved." this bitch involved herself already by saying "i need help". what a cunt. and she tried linking all my stats, tweets and other stuff too herself. Girl, the world does not orbit around you.  (this part i just really dislike this girl) 

there is a lot to this story but i just to try to cut it short for anyone who wants to read this, it is only the beginning and i hope it ends this week. I will keep you updates.