#randomtags

almost a month or so ago (don’t ask for dates, i don’t remember), we had a huge storm come over our apartment. in the midst of it, a large bolt of lighting struck not only the tree close by, but also struck our building. in the process of this strike, we lost 2 tvs, all of our cable equipment and we....more like, i...lost my playstation 4. to say it was a devastating blow is an understatement. 

while i am extremely and eternally grateful that some deity was looking over me and my family that night, life got super worse following it. while we were able to repair our cable equipment, we were then left to all sleep in the living room for weeks. and then we found a deal on tvs that we could not just leave alone, so we ended up taking it. therefore, we now have 2 tvs again (woohoo!)

but now, i am without my playstation. paying bills has not been easy, making sure we have food for our house hasn’t been easy. my mom was in an accident in 2014 that left her unable to work any longer, that left me the sole person to take care of her and my two younger siblings. working right now would put us in a lot of jeopardy money-wise. 

we live in income-based housing, which means we pay rent by what we make. my mom is making just enough that our rent is 414$ a month. which is dirt-cheap i suppose. but if i were to work, it could drastically raise that number, to where we wouldn’t make bill payments on time. without being able to work, my mom being the only one who makes the money right now and having to worry about bills meant that i was left to wait.

but now, i have found a playstation at a pawn shop. they wanted 200$ for it, but also did layaway. my aunt was able to put down 40$ so i could hold it. from that date, i have 90 days to pay it completely off or i forfeit the playstation. 

today i was able to put 20$ down.

my biggest fear is that things are going to continue getting harder and harder for me, and i hate asking my mom to help. my problem is that i can’t ever ask for help. ever. because it makes me look incompetent, and i’m not incompetent. it’s just that situations prevent me from truly helping any situations.

so, therefore, i’m asking for help. this is so weird to me, so please understand if i get anxious and quickly delete this.

strangers of the internet, if you can spare but a few dollars, you’d be helping me reach my ultimate dream to get a playstation again. i am not asking for large donations, i am not asking for money in general. but if you can? then i am extremely grateful for you, and cannot begin to thank you enough.

i am currently `140$ away from going back to the pawn shop and owning this system outright. so, please help in any way that you can. or don’t. your choice alone.

thank you for listening to me babble on. <3 

my paypal is easiest way to send me money, because hi, again. nervous as fuck.