#randompoetry

Seeking happiness

A frivolous madness

Seems a trance

Of an endless prance

But my, why would it not?

In a world of thought

Might be worth a shot

With happenings aloft, here and abound

In glorious hues-

Some deathing blues, some blooming cruise

Like a drop in a drought

Or a rose of a pose

Unforeseen and perhaps pristine

Misty joy,

A startling threshold

Sudden and untold

- Myra Blavk ( amarious)

P.S- we had a picture poetry competition

And so I stare,

At the blank wall,

At the broken cup,

Unsure and possibly despairing

Bland, whispers that treasonous voice, 

You are boring, it emphasizes

Our own demons imprison us 

Like no one else can

And mine have reached, 

The point where the back of my head 

Is a shrine to them,

Dusted with the darkness they propagate,

Carved and honed so beautifully,

From every single one of my insecurities,

Into scars that run deep

Creating mirages that offer hope

Only to brutally rip it off

At the slightest provocation

Existence is poison

And death is but cloaked oblivion

Which I don’t fear as much as detest

Dumbledore said, Death is but

The next great adventure

But what do you do when

Your great adventures 

Are a swirling mess of agony in your head

When even happiness turns to pain

When rubbed against the jagged edges 

Of your mind’s vicious valleys

And when I try to bleed out,

To vent, to seek comfort

The darkness closes around me 

Arousing my doubts

Picking at my choices

Until I distance myself

Succumbing to it

But today

I will bleed out

On paper, if not on human souls

We have all been victims to destiny

at the crack of dawn, my soul begins to wake up from its slumber & begins the process. 

the process of longing for You. I know that it is You that wakes me up early every morning to begin seeking Your presence because You know how bad my soul longs for you.

and as You begin to wake me up & present such an option, the devil has his options too.

“just check your GroupMe messages, you may have missed something”

“did someone text you last night?” “what happened on social media when you went to bed”

and before you know it, your flesh has begun to war against your spirit. Flesh after fleshly things, Spirit after heavenly things. [Galatians 5:17].. but with each day presented before us, is another day to choose to crucify the flesh & to walk in the Spirit [Galatians 5:24]

To some, such a decision to make in the wee hours of the morning may seem insane but it is a necessary decision.

 choose Me. at all times, in all times, in all moments... choose Me. 

Dad said I'm a whore

he said I won't amount to nothin'

I'm a good for nothin' spawn of his loin

he'd kick me out if it wouldn't break my mom's heart

I had nowhere to go

trapped in a car, I couldn't just open the window

or the door, jump out and run

So I stayed seated with tears rolling down

There ain't nothin' to say

When you're a youngin' and already ain't shit

you swallow whatever pride you got left

you walk with your shoulders slumped

your world crushed and heart heavy

I ain't livin here you scream to yourself

I ain't gonna stay where I ain't wanted

but you can't go nowhere, youse a youngin

you ain't finished school, ain't got a job

ain't nobody gonna open their house for free

so you stay in that house and bid your time

days and months pass by

years and decades go by

but the broken record ain't silent

it's at the back of my mind

Dad said I'm a whore

Said I won't amount to nothin'

Echoed in every failure

maybe I ain't shit, fuck it!

dad was prolly right, I ain't shit

but he didn't mean it

he was just mad, worse than mad

he was disapointed

maybe in his life and by extension mine

dad is older now and not doing so well

he was never mean spririted

he just used means, words, to an end

dad seldom smiles now and it makes me sad

I'm not all that, but I'm about all he has

I forgave him on the basis of him being human

but the words are carved in my cells

etched in cursive and all so invasive

Dad had meant I would be a whore

Not the kind that sells their bodies

Rather one that has nothing but a body to sell

I wish I had fought harder to prove him wrong

That I had strived harder to go beyond

Nostradamus in the making was right

I ain't got nothing but a body to sell

I ain't got specials skills or talent

So I sell my brain cells for a cheque

Every thursday is pimping day

Bachelor's in word was a luxury

it couldn't afford me more than a desk job

I certainly ain't balling

if it ain't tears rolling