#words?

You would never understand

So I filter the truth

I swallow the lies

They scream from within

Honestly, very difficult answer. I don't know if I can pare down to just one, so here's my shortlist. "Sonder" makes the short list, for sure. So does "adoit", which I used recently, even. "Kumquat" is also a high end contender, for a number of reasons. I think past me would make sure I included "spontaneously" and "aesthetic".

No spoilers, but that shit was incredible and I absolutely cried, more than once

(@comicaurora, you specifically took my soul and crushed it into tiny pieces with your performance, and it was PERFECT)

And you tried to cradle them so gently

You tried to hold all their parts together

Tried to give them a soft place to rest

To give them safety and gentleness

A good feeling

But it wasn't enough

Because it's never enough

My hands are never big enough

Never soft enough

Never warm enough

Never gentle enough

Never close enough

Always lacking

Never enough

And now I'm left staring at the remaining grains of sand

Because you might have left my embrace, left me behind

But the reminder of you clings to my skin

Coarse and irritating when I rub my hands together to erase you

I'll always feel the ghost of you

And sometimes when I look at my hands, I still find parts of you ingrained in my skin

Never truly gone

brizz my love, as with all things I do, I tried to make this as short as possible and I failed miserably aksdjfhlkasdjf i hope you don’t mind

💖 What made you start writing?

In terms of, like, writing in general, I don't really know what made me start! I was always writing stories, but I really got into writing towards the end of middle school, and I think I "finished" my first story in eighth grade, when I had an English teacher who made us write a journal entry every day, and instead of writing anything about myself, I wrote a story about a character (i think she was a mermaid? I can’t remember)(also $50 to whoever can guess my favorite coping mechanism 💀). But, after middle school, I had a bit of a falling out with writing, and I put myself in a position to either do engineering & math & science related stuff, or do writing related stuff. Idk why I thought I couldn't do both, but obviously, I ended up becoming an engineer, and while I wrote a little bit in high school, I completely gave up writing in college.

Then, covid happened at the end of my senior year of college, and I suddenly had, like, a renaissance lmao. I had nothing to do and so much time to do it, and then I ended up watching the first season of Outer Banks nine times through (yes I know I’m insane, but we move), showing my family and then various friends during zoom parties, and I became obsessed with figuring out Kiara's story. I had a doc full of questions based on throw-away lines and I don't know when it turned from "conspiracy theory about kiara carrera's background" to "actual legitimate story (kind of)", but it helped me A LOT when I was going through the early pandemic. So, I guess, obsessing over Kiara Carrera got me back into writing?? lmao. also having a lot of feelings over the pandemic and being locked in my hometown and isolated from my college friends while being much, much closer to my middle/high school friends?? idk. I clearly had a lot of feelings to wrestle with tho aksjdfhlkasjdf

🎯 Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which?

LMAO yes!! I think almost everyone guessed just about every plot point in pltc, which is very expected when I was literally writing it to fit as well as it could into canon. I also had a few other fics where I read people's comments like "ah yes at least my foreshadowing works" 💀 I think there were a lot of those comments especially with like daisies underneath! 

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

for you, Brizz, a snippet from my upcoming fic for the music festival au space on my bingo card!

There’s something kind of thrilling about having him so close. She knows her makeup is beyond fucked, and her hair is in disarray, and she has a string of plastic gems trailing down her cheek that are worse off than they were last night, but it doesn’t matter. The music is too loud for them to maintain the sort of distance that she would normally expect from a complete stranger, and he leans in close, his blue eyes fixed on her with a piercing gaze.