#randad

maybe Randy

(OMG FIRST ASK TQ) Heres a quick sketch of Randy since my arms are hurting from working out (totally being honest and did NOT hurt my arm from sleeping too long)

Gray scale under the cut yuhhh😍

Edit: I FORGOT HIS STUBLLE THING I'M GOING TO CRY

(”Tubbo... Tubbo’s not okay right now, he’s not really handling it well...” - Ranboo)

(TW: Panic Attack, Grief, denial, major character death)

(Shippers get off my lawn.)

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The door closed sharply as Tubbo pressed his back to it, panic rising in his mind as he struggled to breathe. He followed Tommy as long as he could but he eventually lost track of him - Tubbo guessed he wanted to be alone. Tommy… Tommy was here. Tommy was alive. His best friend was alive, he was back, he wasn’t dead. He should be happy. He should be celebrating… shouldn’t he? His fingers pushed back his hair as his eyes focused on the ground, trying to process that simple fact: Tommy was alive. It seemed so simple to say, but… but it didn’t feel so simple. It didn’t feel simple at all. 

It felt like he was finally, almost, accepting it. He remembered each night since he’d heard the news he’d sleep out by the memorial to feel close to him again. To say goodnight to him, how they used to every night in L’manburg. It was always a safe feeling, sleeping in the same room - they would always protect each other that way, they always knew they had each other’s backs. For those few nights, Tubbo suffered through the silence of calling out to him with no answer, reminders everywhere of how he was gone, how he failed to protect him. He’d cry and cry and cry until there wasn’t anything left. Until he cried himself to sleep. Ranboo was there, Ranboo was always there for those days that turned into long eternities as he waited and begged for it to all just be a joke, for him to come back, please let him come back.

Now his wish was granted. He’d finally tried to move on, tried to smile and take care of Michael, and Tommy was back. It all felt like whiplash, like opening up new wounds he’d just begun to heal. His mind couldn’t wrap his head around it, it couldn’t comprehend it - he was supposed to be dead. His heart felt like it was dragged all the way back to the start, all the way back to when Sam had looked at him with guilt as his stomach dropped hearing those two words. ‘I’m sorry…’

“Tubbo? Is that you?” Ranboo called from upstairs, and he could hear Michael’s giggles mixed with squeals as Ranboo played with him, tickling him. “Sorry, I didn’t expect you home so soon.”

Tubbo’s mind couldn’t think, he couldn’t move, his thoughts were so overwhelming, it was hard to focus on anything else, he couldn’t find any air to breathe in. He let out a choked sob, sliding down with his back to the door as tears tricked down his cheeks so fast he couldn’t stop them, it was like a faucet had been turned on that couldn’t be turned off. He was shaking, all the emotion he’d been holding back from the shock spilling over.

“Tubbo…?” He heard Ranboo call before he heard him rush down the ladder. “No no, Michael stay up there-” Tubbo couldn’t breathe, his mind replaying it all over and over in his mind - he was back, but Tommy wasn’t supposed to be back, he was supposed to be dead and gone, he cried for him, he said goodbye, it was supposed to be over, he supposed to be over this. “Tubbo, Tubbo can you hear me?” There was a slight worry in his husband’s voice. “How can I… are you-? It’s okay, It’s okay Tubs, don’t worry I’m right here, okay?” Ranboo reassured him. “Breathe, buddy. In and out, yeah?” Tubbo’s eyes were focused intently on his husband’s, and the enderman warmly smiled. “Let’s do that breathing exercise you taught me, don’t you remember? In for four, hold for seven, out for eight. Let’s try that together, okay?”

“R-r...Ran…” 

Carefully moving closer, he reached out, ready to retract if he flinched, and slowly intertwined their fingers together, rubbing his thumb comfortably against Tubbo’s palm. “I’m right here. Now, in for four…” He gently tapped four times against Tubbo’s palm. “Hold for seven…” Tubbo’s grip tightened on his hand but he noticed that his eyes never left his. “Out for eight, you’re doing great hon.” Tubbo let out a long shaking breath, and after a few seconds, they started again. Slowly, over time, Ranboo moved to be closer as he calmed down, Tubbo clinging to his other hand like a lifeline, scared. Finally, his breaths evened out, and Ranboo scanned his expression. “Are you okay, do… do you need anything? Water…?”

“I...That was...everything’s just…I don’t… I don’t feel...” Thick tears rolled down Tubbo’s cheeks again as he rushed into Ranboo’s waiting arms, clinging around his torso so his shirt would soak up the tears.