#ramblingcoogs

If you’re coming to term with being Asexual, just know you’re not alone. I grew up feeling like I was broken, like I was wrong, that there was something wrong with me, and maybe there is, but I’ve accepted who I am. Being Ace is NOT a choice and people will most likely not understand that. People have told me I have low testosterone, that I’m gay and I’m just making up excuses, or that I’m just shy and I don’t want to submit to my sexuality. Well they were all wrong. I have NO sexual attraction to anyone, but I do want to have a relationship with a woman. I identify as Heteromantic Asexual and that’s confusing for a lot of people. They don’t understand how I could want a relationship with a woman, have 3 kids but not feel the urge to have sex with anyone, and to be honest I can’t explain it either, because there’s no way TO explain it, it’s my sexuality (or lack of). 

I know it’s hard, and I’ve met a lot of people in the LGBTQI community who have opposed (and supported) me saying that my feelings don’t matter because what I go through isn’t as bad as what they’ve gone through, which in many cases is true. I’ve never felt like my life was in danger for being asexual, but I have felt like my life was worth less for being so. Which caused me to fall into depression. I felt like MY life was worth LESS than someone else’s because I didn’t want to have sex...ridiculous! I felt like I was incomplete, that a part of me was missing somehow, yet when I didn’t think about sex I was at my happiest. People would pressure me about chasing girls or even guys because “That’s totally cool too” but in reality I wasn’t pursuing lust. None of this is a reason to invalidate how I felt simply because you “Had it worse”. 

I’m waiting for another heteromantic asexual woman to come into my life that I can connect with and have a relationship with that doesn’t involve sex as the foundation. Now that may never happen, and that’s fine I don’t NEED a relationship to function, but I do want someone that I can share my life with and raise kids with. Being asexual was hard for me because it felt like just saying I was gay, or Bi would be easier because it was a label that could be put on me, but Ace has very low visibility in the world right now, so people just invalidate it. I’m not one for labels and I didn’t even think about my sexuality until high school when people started bringing it up. People act like sexuality is like picking a job after college, like “Oh I’m gay what about you?” “I’m Straight!” and then Ace is looked at like “Well I’m an art student with a four year fine arts degree, I think I’ll go work at McDonald’s while I figure my life out” and that’s not the case.

TL;DR

If there is a face palm emoji someone please show me.

A lot of younger viewers who want to get into art are aspiring illustrators and animators, and that's such a wonderful thing! I love helping to inspire and teach younger artists, but giving them bad advice and telling them to ignore artists who are more skilled than even YOU is just dangerous.

***Somebody gets some napkins because I'm about to spill some tea***