#ram.msg

i think i remember missing dave for a long time but honestly i dont really remember him anymore?  which is kind of sad and probably would upset some people that i really care about because they were friends with him and loved him very much and i feel awful for that  but i guess he just didnt leave the impression on me that i thought he did at the time 

i miss my timelines terezi very much sometimes  dont get me wrong im very happy with sollux i adore him completely  but what she and i had was a very different thing and she was always sweet to me  i dont miss her as my moirail because im fulfilled in that quadrant i just miss her company 

i miss karkat when he isnt around  but hes around so no need to gush about that 

and i do miss dolch  i think an earlier version of myself wouldve been ashamed to admit that but i dont really care one way or another now  i was so flushed for someone it hurt and its natural that i would miss them  even if i cant remember every moment between us 

there are a lot of metaphors for time out there  like fabric  and in some senses thats useful  time can be ripped open  but when that happens its more like bleeding than tearing  i think from a basic level i would describe it more like water which i suppose is technically a simile but bear with me here! it isnt a flat surface and it doesnt refer just to whats on the surface level  it fills all of the space around it  time isnt a line that were contained in its the air around us and inside of us inside every atom and molecule and everything we touch is the very existence of time  and if you want to get super technical you can see that when you start talking about quantum physics!  time isnt just a concept it dictates and rules the flow of the universe  time also isnt smooth even though it feels that way whenever it runs over us it generally runs from the highest point to the lowest point but sometimes those points arent where you think theyll be  a lot of rivers run south but some rivers run north or east or west  just like time  it doesnt always go the expected direction even if its following the rules sometimes rocks get in the way and block the current  sometimes things get caught and swept up in the current that shouldnt be there or are there by mistake  and when something or someone messes with time its more like letting a drop of dye into the water  a few drops will color the water for a bit but quickly enough fade away and be minimized by all the other water there!  but a steady flow without a way to stop it could taint the entire river

she loves him! wow! boy howdy does she love him! she sure does like this one! polar opposites. yin and yang. but their experiences have melded them just so to be complementary. she’s a lot more comfortable with, everything, around him, takes herself a little less seriously and is more okay being outright silly for silly’s sake because he is, such a fucking dorkus himself. 

she really admires him for everything that he’s been through and worked through, and thinks very highly of his strength. she’s seen firsthand how hard it is for most people to deal with death and how it can absolutely shatter them, and she is just. shakes fist. so proud of him for how he’s handled what happened to his brother, and being able to crawl out of the pit he was in when they met.