#raisingachild

Raising a child with Autism - The lessons learned!

Day 310 of 365/2018

A recent conversation with a Mum during school pick up:

Mum: So what classes does Samaira go to post school? Me: None. She has lunch, snoozes for a bit, then plays, picks her favorite activity for the day and does home work. During weekends she enjoys ballet and tennis. Mum: Oh! Really! Mine goes for two consecutive classes six days a week. Kids must do something everyday after school.It is important to keep them busy. Else they will get bored!

And that left me befuddled and thinking - Is a child’s day “incomplete” if it is not filled with structured activities - one after another? Are we as parents chasing our own agendas and setting a schedule for our children, that eventually becomes a routine. When did daily post school activities become the norm? Why do we want our kids to be always “busy?”

Why are we so obsessed with micro-managing our children’s lives? Why is it not OK for them to feel bored?

I don’t remember my parents fretting over a plethora of options for me to be “busy” with, post school? They never fussed over me 24/7, nor did they create an environment of constantly expecting something out of me.

Why can’t we step back and let the child explore her inner and outside worlds. Whatever happened to the whole path of exploration, discovery, choices, falling down, collecting ourselves and then getting back up again?

Isn’t that an important process of growing up?

If we constantly subject our children to being perfect, what will happen when they encounter failure?

If we spend every nano second making sure they are engaged in activities, one after another, what will happen when they encounter boredom?

If we push them to be too competitive, performing to ‘high standards’ set by us, what will happen when they realize the beauty of imperfection?

We share their successes with abandon on social media and revel in the likes and accolades. What if our children are unable to meet the high standards of what we want them to be, later? When they face disappointment, won’t it affect their sense of worth?

Don’t you think it’s time to take a step back, slow down and rethink our obsession with our children’s success. Let them grow with abandon, learn through the power of observation, create, explore the world their way, make mistakes, learn to laugh at them and learn from them. Lets give them a free rein to see where their interest lies. Let them Think, Imagine and Dream!