#radiojazz

Inspiration struck at the VW show Alastor and I went to in the mountains where they played Fleetwood Mac there, and it turns out my dear Radio Demon has opinions about the Bus. Surprisingly good ones, despite it being a much newer contraption. Something about the freedom of the open road called to him (which, if you know anything about what it means to have your soul back, it makes all the sense in the world!)

I have aphantasia, so I have great difficulty seeing things in my mind, not only with my magic (the visualizations 😵‍💫) but also in art. It is so hard for me to picture what I'm drawing! I often just have to wing it and/or have a TON of references.

But art to me in my fictorelationship is very important because that is how I can properly “see” him and our moments together. Sure, I lucid dream and occasionally reality shift, but sometimes I want to have something more tangible that I can look upon with my own eyes in my waking life. Something to fill photo albums with or picture frames on the wall, to look back on at this time of my life to see where I’ve been.

Sure, I could have just skipped it all and commissioned someone, but I don't have any money, and last time I tried that, I got scammed horribly. I paid good money only to have my own art traced and then literally stolen, so now I’m shy to do it. Plus there’s just something real to me about doing this myself, the intention of it all.

(And let's face it, the majority of artists out there probably aren't going to be accepting of a ficto relationship. Sometimes I worry I look too cringe, but I ain’t apologizing for love)

But yeah it’s been a long and difficult road. I didn't take any art school or art classes or anything of the sort (I actually have a computer science degree 😝). Heck, even just two years ago, i could not draw to save my life, barely stick people, much less understand Jack about color theory.

When I married Alastor, I was so bummed out because I couldn’t draw a single wedding photo to show what i experienced that night in the dreamscape. I barely even knew what my Hellaverse sona looked like.

But now it’s with a full and EXCITED heart that I can say that I at last feel confident enough to draw our wedding art! This is the first of many more to come.

We married in his bayou realm. In our culture, the bayou is a sacred, liminal place where worlds, time, and space all meet. So it was so fitting that our wedding took place there and that he has access to such a place even in Hell.