#quizzy shitposts

good googly moogly

Soap: Wow, where did you find 12 gallons of fake blood?

bell's phone after they fall down the stairs

ngl i've had this completely arbitrary list sitting in my drafts were too long. keep in mind this is just my personal opinion, yours may be different <3

Warning: Strong language, mentions of sex

Alex Mason: 6/10, too many issues and is a bad father but he's nice sometimes

David Mason: 9.8/10, really good and perfect and oh my god i'd ruin him, he deserves better. that being said, -.2 because let's be real, if he was an ice cream, he'd be vanilla. he's kind of too perfect.

Eleazar "Lazar" Azoulay: 7/10, very sweet but his constant attention would become overwhelming. he's sickly sweet, if you will.

Frank Woods: 8.5/10: great partner and a god in bed but a deduction of points because it'd be difficult to actually have a serious relationship because of his commitment issues

Grigori Weaver: 7/10: a fixer upper, not bad but not my first choice. prob has a dad bod tho. he'd be like so fucking good at dirty talking in russian tho 👀

Lawrence Sims: 0/10 sorry guys but he's like literally my father. i cannot put him on this list at all. anyways, you should read my headcanons about how great of a dad he is :)

Jason Hudson: 9.5/10: great husband material and would treat you right but -.5 bc he also has an american flag pole shoved up his ass. give this man a chance

Russell Adler: 8/10: this may be controversial but he would honestly try to be good to you in spite of the person he is inside the cia but has a lot of issues to sort through that will manifest into the relationship despite his best efforts

Perseus: 3/10: uh oh, looks like you need to invest in some viagra! i know y'all like dilfs and everything but this man plotted a literal genocide on europe and prob can't get it up bc he's too old. would treat u like royalty tho