Chrissy Cunningham helped me realize I was in an emotionally abusive relationship.
Four years later, and I have a plan in place.
From the outside, like Chrissy and Jason, we were the perfect couple. He had the perfect career, everyone told me how I am so lucky to have such a supportive and wonderful husband.
They didn’t see the anger, the gaslighting, how I had to walk on eggshells every day. I was married to Captain America, so I clearly must have something wrong with me. I’m just a bad person, right?
I saw too much of myself in Chrissy. Hiding everything behind a smile while playing the perfect partner to the REAL star (my partner). Real demons being ignored, everything okay as long as I knew my place and played my part.
But then someone saw through the mask to see something was wrong. I wasn’t “lucky” enough to have an Eddie Munson. I instead saw myself on screen, wistfully longing for a connection like these two fictional characters that look alarmingly like they could be my parents ( seriously, look at a photo of me).
Maybe that’s why i became so attached so quickly. Eddie and Chrissy wasn’t just a fun ship; it was a sign that i could escape this gilded cage that I am so terrified to leave. Maybe one day I can find someone who can actually see me? It seems unlikely; I am not a fictional character and am still medically and financially tied to this person. I have to watch my online postings in case he finds it before September.
But, maybe like Chrissy Cunningham in all the wonderful fanworks this fandom has to offer, I can learn to like myself and heal. I hope.
Thanks @quirly for bringing me the most beautiful red flag possible.
I hope I will be okay one day 💕