Jul 11
i know in my heart that shane is the most obnoxious sick person of all time
not because he's a baby a la classic man cold
but because he will AGGRESSIVELY try to pretend he is not sick
he is trying to gaslight others but ALSO himself
he has a gold medal immune system thank you he did NOT get taken down by ill pikeling spreading Elementary School Plague to him
not happening
as an itty bitty he lied so he wouldn't have to skip hockey, and that has NOT changed as an adult
his true toxic trait is that he WILL be typhoid mary in that locker room if it means he doesn't have to stay home and miss playing
the majority of the struggle when shane is sick is just making him ADMIT he is sick
#heated rivalry#pfft ilya not wanting shane to get sick#but ilya got taken down first by sickness after their marriage#and got spoiled because he is shane's baby <3#and he's like 'oh okay one day i will return the favor'#and he would actually like that! not shane being sick! but oh shane needs him!! ilya gets to Provide!!!#false#ilya gets to argue with his stubborn ass husband that the thermometer showing 38.5 celsius is not a fluke#and his ass needs to get back in bed#pffft oh god#shane gets appendicitis and plays through it obvi because of fucking course he would#and on the ice?? man LOCKS! IN!#there is hockey and nothing but hockey and nothing else registers#it's part of what makes him a demon on the ice#but it also means he gets off the ice#clocks back into his body#and now ilya has his slightly trembling husband leaning over to whisper#'hey. i think. i'm sick.'#which for ilya immediately means 'oh my god he's dying'#turns out shane!! played through his appendix bursting!! hey love of ilya's life!!!#quick question!!!#WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR FUCKING DAMAGE FEEL SOMETHING SAY SOMETHING DON'T-
