One year. She had promised him one year, that’s all he had to do. It was a requirement from the court that while they say Kai’s mother as unfit to care for him, Vittoria simply couldn’t sweep in and steal him away. There were conditions.
Always conditions.
Kai never did care to know too much about Vittoria. She was kind, even when he wasn’t. Despite her failed attempts at cooking, he was always fed. Always safe. And despite his occasional disbelief, always loved. Not the type of love she vocally reminds him of, but the kind when he catches her watching him with that dopey little smile on her face. Or when she buys him new gloves or slips his favorite sweets into his lunch bag.
And there was no way, and in no words that he could explain that in the court of law. Honestly who could? What they really wanted was her past addresses. Documentation that should be standard and that...well...that every person should have right? Social security number. Birth certificate? She had tried to plead with them that having come from a similar upbringing she had no access to any of those documents.
“Then he’ll go into a foster home until you can prove who you are.”
A year, she whispered into his hair before he had to part from her. She must’ve felt it in the tremor of his hands, or the rapid rise and fall of his chest under her leather gloved hands because she said, killing them won’t make this better.
So he sat, cross legged on the bed in the bland room of his foster home, and stared at the small calendar in his hands. Today would mark an entire year. He’d grown taller, perhaps a bit more moodier, maybe a tiny bit more cynical about the world.
But that was it. Because at the foot of his bed, packed into one suitcase and one large backpack, was everything he owned. He kept it minimal, no need to make it harder to drag his things out when she came for him right?
He went to sleep fully dressed.
When he woke, he was absolutely glad he had done so.
He’d left the window to his second story bedroom open tonight. It wouldn’t be a hard climb for her and of course he was right.
She sat cross legged on the window ledge and even in the dark room lit by the moonlight, he could see her bright lopsided grin.
“Hey kid-- jeez, I’m gone one year and you shoot up like a weed.”
His eyes squint at her as he climbs off the bed. His things are already gone and for a moment he wonders if he should be concerned but, considering the circumstances...considering her?
Nah.
“Took you long enough Ma. I started to doubt you.”
“No you didn’t,” she teased with a laugh. “You ready?”
He wandered slowly up to the window as she stretched her legs.
“You know we could use the front door, right?”
“Oh come on, where’s the fun in that? i wouldn’t be a good parental guardian if i didn’t immediately endanger you life after obtaining legal rights to you.”
“You’re psychotic,” he responds and looks out of the window, to the distance down to the ground with a frown. “Want to explain how you got legal rights?”
“I just know some very good people. Had to do some favors, pull a few strings. You know, crime boss level type stuff--”
He shoots her a look and sees that same annoying smile and roll his eyes in disbelief. He could pressure her for answers, but honestly...he didn’t give a damn.
She came, that’s all that mattered. Her eyes softened, the playful look in her eyes gone.
“You want to say good bye to them?”
“No.”
“Why? Were they awful to you?”
The air in the room shifts, like a flashwave of hot across his skin and in his lungs followed by cool crisp air that isn’t being filtered in from the outside.
“No,” he mumbled, staring at her. “I just don’t care.”
He expects her to push but she doesn’t. Instead her grin is slow and pleased. “Well, if that’s all then, dare I say, let’s go home yeah?”
She hops off the window and Kai looks over it again. “Sure we can’t use the front door?”
“Nah--”
He turns to face her yet when he does, something seems to crawl and curl around his arms and shoulders. It’s familiar and in a second he knows that the black tendrils weaving in through the open window and tugging on him are of no threat. They’re her.
But without warning he’s yanked back, free falling out the window but she’s not far behind. He offers no resistance, body lax and comfortable as she leaps from the window after him.
They disappear into the darkness and Kai couldn’t have been any more at ease.
Home is still home. It feels almost like he never left. Everything is clean, some of his things right where he left them. There are no words to exchange as he heads for his room but she stops him once, the look is all it takes to know what she seeks.
The hug is...comfortable. “Let’s never have to do that again,” she whispers, voice shaky and Kai realizes that this year, as hard as it was for him, was equally as taxing on her.
“Yeah..never.” is his response. Her thumb brushes his cheek and her eyes glisten when she pulls back.
“Night ma.”
“Night son,” she says and something strikes through Kai. It’s a warm feeling, one that gives him pause to take a shaky breath. He wasn’t expecting that one, it’s new. But he likes it. It can stay. As he sat his things back into his room in proper order before crawling into bed, he looked at his large bay window. On the inside ledge lay one single solitary feather.
He snorts and he opens the window and heads to his bed. When he finally crawls into it he calls over his shoulder, “You know, you’re just as bad as her--”
Hawks’ low chuckle fills the room and while he gets it, Hawks is probably visiting to see him after all this time, Kai’s a little more grown up than we was a year ago so he says, “She’s in the kitchen preparing lunch for the week. If you want to catch her before she goes to bed, go now--”
The pro-hero says nothing but gives Kai a ruffle of his hair and disappears out the door into the hallway.
Kai fell asleep with a smile on his face, and didn’t wake up through the night like before.
She was home. He was home. Hawks was here and life seemed to be getting better and better by the minute.
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THINGS TO DO IN OCTOBER: STARTERS & DRABBLES | Accepting
🎪 - go to a creepy carnival
Kai had heard the twinkling haunting melodies and the shrieks and immediately was drawn to the carnival, followed by the sweet smell of candy apples and the familiar twang of deep fried sweets. He hadn’t exactly said he wanted to go see what all the fuss was about but he couldn’t help but avert his attention to the sound of announcers and cheers whenever it was loud enough to reach their ears.
“You know,” Vittoria inquired, “I hate to admit it, but I’m curious about that carnival thing that’s going on.” She gave the skin tight black leather gloves on her hands a quick tug, looking off in the direction Kai was. “If you’re up for a late night, I say we skip your ‘curfew’ and you can easily stay with me tonight and we go see what all that screaming is about.”
She earns no hesitation from Kai and with a smile, they headed on their way. The first thing she noticed, it was loud. So many adults and kids dressed up for this temporary amusement park and Vittoria was oh so fascinated by them all. Despite the distraction however, she ushered Kai to stop, reached into her bag and removed his plague mask, and a small satchel of herbs. She tucked that into the very tip and pleased that it wouldn’t slip out, offered it to him.
“In the spirit of Halloween, but also, it will be rather crowded.”
He takes the item in his hands and it’s heavier than he remembers. The old cheap plastic thing he’d had before was no more and curiously he turned it over in his hands. It looked...dare he say, authentic. His gaze travels to Vittoria who is watching him intently, now holding a pair of gloves almost similar to her own in her hands, simply smaller.
“I took the liberty of purchasing one that was a little more real. This one has those two holes with filters installed and it secures on the face to minimize particulates. I thought you’d appreciate something a little more than just a cheap halloween mask.” But she adds on with a wink, “I did keep the other one though, it’s on your bed at home.”
She hands him the gloves and he takes them, slides them on hover his hands before securing the mask in place and feels a sort of mild relief. He feels secured. Content that Kai seemed to be ready, they made their way into the park.
The experience wasn’t quite what he expected. He figured they’d try the foods, the games, and they did, but what he found the most entertaining was the terror of the small children Vittoria seemed to be drawn to scaring. She’d been grabbing a rather large plush they’d won together and she was insisting they give them the one wrapped up and unopened when a small rowdy group of children had come, rudely, to inspect Kai and his mask.
Needless to say the shadows that dangled from the mask opening to show rows of sharp, what seemed to be teeth and the hiss the mirage let out was just enough to send them screaming.
One almost fainted when she turned to see her shadow standing in front of her. The ordeal has little to no effect but Vittoria (who is hardly sad, let alone mad) approaches, her grin a little too tight.
“I should’ve convinced them it was a demon. Goodness I would’ve loved to see that trauma ten years from now--”
He is offered the leoze, its a stuffed Hawks, and she’s giving him that dopey grin.
“I couldn’t help it. I know you two are close, I thought this would be nice--”
A thought occurs and she seems to perk up, looking over her shoulder, “We should get food to go when we leave and drop it by Hawks’ place. I bet he’d appreciate that and the chance to get to see you.”
She was so bubbly. So excited. Despite his attempts to use his sarcasm and unrestrained wit to dim it, it simply wouldn’t. And he couldn’t lie to himself, he was having fun.
They explored the fun houses, attended a magic show gone ‘terribly wrong’, but his favorite, perhaps, was the haunted house. The gleam in Vittoria’s eye as they entered should’ve tipped him off to her shenanigans but still, he couldn’t help himself but chuckle when grown men ran screaming at the woman who could peel herself from walls, or the shadows that seemed to speak.
They stayed until the carnival closed, her hands laden with a few bags containing deep fried Oreos, Chicken Three Ways (wings, on a stick, and in a basket), and a manner of prizes and more treats.
As they walked, headed home (it was late after all, they’d take Hawks their little gifts in the morning) Kai muttered the words he’d been thinking all night.
“V.”
Her attention was on him instantly and sometimes it confused the kid. How with one word he could have her undivided attention.
“Tomorrow, I don’t wanna go home.”
It doesn’t take long for her to understand what he meant. They’d been toying around with the idea of months now, of Kai leaving home to reside with her for good, but the legal battle to obtain that would be long and brutal, a fight she’d only engage in when Kai was ready to pull that trigger.
And tonight he was ready to fire that shot.
He’d never seen her face so serious. She’d given him nod, her mind kicking into overdrive.
“If there’s anything of particular importance you want from there, we’ll retrieve it. We can build you a brand new wardrobe and anything else that you would need replaced.”
As they reached home and gathered inside, spilling their spoils from battle onto the kitchen table, Vittoria took at moment to level with him.
“It won’t be pretty,” she muttered, “People are going to say things, things that fighting and snarky comments won’t resolve. We’ll have to play it smart and if we do, we can stand a chance of winning a legal court battle for custody.”
“But I’ll do it for you, if it’s what you really want.”
Before he could answer, the old out of date flip phone provided to him by his mother rattled on the kitchen table. His mother name dully lit like a warning. He stares at it, cogs whirring and turning in his mind before he nods.
“I want to stay.”
Vittoria nods once more and reaches out for the phone in the palm of her hand. A shadow curls around it and it opens too far, bending back on itself before it cracks, then shattered into two unusable pieces. There’s no going back. He huffs and tries to push away a tendril that pokes at his cheek and grumbles for a moment before letting it be.
“Why don’t you go upstairs and wash up and I’ll deal with this and clean up. Tomorrow we can talk a little more about what the next steps are going to be. But for tonight I think we’ve had enough excitement.”
He nods, because it’s true. he is exhausted from the day but even as he goes to make his way toward the stairs and Vittoria busies herself with their things, she calls out after him, “Love you Kai, in case you didn’t know.”
He knew. She wouldn’t let him forget honestly. And he thought to respond with that in mind, but instead, standing on the first step of the staircase, he says a little hesitantly, “Love you too, ma,” before heading for his room. He doubted, for a moment, if that was the right thing to do, to say those words so cavalier and so serious.
But if her audible gasp and the sudden sound of Vittoria knocking over everything in her sudden meltdown meant anything, it means he made the right choice. And V was just the right choice.
It’s one of those nights. Lately Vittoria’s been handling rather petty things, trickle down bits of business originating from the human world but this issue, the one pressing down on her shoulders, breathing down her neck? Was different. There’s an upset in balance downstairs. Hell is reeling. Purgatory is writhing. She needs to step out tonight, to a different type of meeting.
One where The Oldest would meet to decide on actions. Billie would be present, or as she had taken to calling the woman by her true title, Death. Someone would arrive as spokesperson for Hell, another for Heaven. There is unrest and it needed to be dealt with.
Yet Lilli uses the excuse of I sleep better if you’re around and it breaks her heart. Perhaps she can feel the unease in the air, or perhaps she’s simply being honest; words spoken from a woman who hadn’t slept in days doing what she did best.
Worrying over Vittoria, even if she didn’t say she was.
Though she is fully dressed she sits on the edge of the best and pulls Lilli into her arms.
“I will stay ‘til you are sleeping,” she assures her, “And then I will be home before you wake. I promise you. Close your eyes and rest, love. It’s alright.”
With a sigh Cas let his head fall again, staring angrily at the floor, his face flushed and hot and his eyes watery with all sorts of tangled emotion. Her question had him whipping his face up to stare back at her.
“No.” He stated firmly. “No, it doesn’t. Because I wasn’t kissing him, I would never kiss him— I would never do that to you.” He could feel his heart racing again, his pulse fighting like a drum and his lungs expanding and deflating faster than he could handle it made his head spin. “I wasn’t kissing Grell. I wasn’t and I need you to believe me when I say that. I didn’t kiss him.” He could feel the slime of lust on his lips, the way Grell forced his mouth over his; the sickly burnt taste of cinnamon and… and garlic on his tongue.
“Vitto; if you believe for a second that I would ever cheat on you or- or, or trick you or give that—- perv the time of day let alone my—- myself then….” he felt his fingers tingle and buzz like too much electrical currency at once. Stepping back he tugged the collar of his T-shirt to the side, dark fingerprints bruised into the sun kissed warmth of his skin from where Grell had grabbed him and practically laid a claim on him. “If you think for one minute that I’d let him do this; that I would want this… and kiss him back.” He let his arms fall at his sides and took a tiny step back again. “Then maybe you and I don’t know each other after all. I told you when… when you poured out your heart I wouldn’t waste it. I didn’t lie then and I’m not now. But if you’re so willing to leave then… then maybe we shouldn’t be … be this anymore.”
She stares, lets his words beat and grate against the most sensitive parts of her heart. How could she? As easy as it was for Grell to get close enough and kiss him, apparently. She was allowed to have doubts, and she did. She had plenty. And she had often times had them before this moment but every single time Castiel would come home, every time they locked eyes, or they would dissolve into fits of laughter and kisses, it all would get washed away.
This time it stuck to her like glue.
The sight of the bruising pressed into his skin, angry and unwated makes her stomach flip. It's true, she knows Castiel, knows his secrets, and even if those doubts lingered, she knew the absolute panic that those touches no doubt induced. She'd stepped forward only to step back. The crackling from his fingertips almost a warning.
And what followed was perhaps, the last thing she expected. She stares almost dumbfounded because that wasn't what she was going to say. It sounded stupid when said out loud but she loved him more than life itself and if...perhaps if Grell fufilled some need she couldn't then maybe some how she could still mean something to Castiel. The thought had occured midway through packing, the reason why she had not left just yet.
But Castiel is suggesting that....they break up?
The sting of tears is back coupled up a heaviness that sits right in her chest. She'd stay to try, even if she'd find later it wasn't what she thought. His suggestion was borne of something...soem doubt perhaps.
Maybe. Maybe not. But it still hurt like hell.
"Is that what you want?"
She looks away. Looks down. Looks anywhere but him. "You want me to go," she mutters, "Fine."
She stalks over to the suitcase and forcefully zips it shut after cramming all of her things deep within. "Fine," she say again. Because it's what he wants. She's angry. She's hurt. Even as she hauls it past Castiel (where is she going to even go?) she stops shy of the door way.
"Forgive me for being human. I actually know I'm not good enough for you so pardon me if I see you kissing someone else and it actually hurts me. But I guess it wouldn't hurt you if I did that? You wouldn't wonder? You wouldn't cry?"
She doesn't give him a chance to answer because she knew it herself. She's not human, and she's running off high as hell emotions this evening, so when she steps through the front door and into the night that's swollen with the threat of rain, it's not without another thought.
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Cas refused to shift around once he’d laid down on Vitto, making her shift around instead as he laid there like a bump on a stick.
“…’m sad.” Cas mumbled out, pressing his face into the soft curve of her hip. “I want candy.” He rolled over onto his back, raising his hands above his head and grabbing her hands she’d been carding through his hair. “Are you eating candy? You smell like mints…”
It’s there thing, no matter how uncomfortable it makes the Winchester brothers to see it, it’s their thing. Dean used to get testy, Vittoria was damn near their little sister so to see Castiel’s blatant disregard for her personal space used to raise his hackles. Sam had told him to ease off it, but it was Vittoria’s response to it that made him think he was over reacting just a tiny bit. She didn’t care. Never did. Allowed it like he belonged there and this moment was no exception.
After adjusting, Vittoria leans her head back, comfortable against the couch, his hands grabbing hers and fiddling them, his face against the small bit of warm skin exposed from her bunched up shirt.
“Mmm. Do I?”
Her head lifts up to look down at him, studying his face. “Are you sad because you don’t have candy or are you sad for other reasons?”
She gives his hands a tug, a signal that she’s about to adjust them again (he won’t even need to move) and with a shift of her leg, she takes advantage of his laziness and manages to wiggle underneath them until he’s just laying on her and she can use him as a blanket. Much better. His weight is comforting and she closes her eyes with a hint of a smile.
“I keep a stash of starbursts in my room. If I leave them out, Dean will eat them all and Sam will tell me they’re unhealthy. Want some? Will that make you feel better?”
His look was a mixture of sickly exhaustion himself and disgust. Disgust that she was so dumb by going out in the snowy weather soaking from the bath. She was human— she wasn’t like him, she could’ve gotten herself killed. Laying there smiling like that earned her a well deserved half scowl from him.
“You could’ve died.” He was still a little snippy and on edge, mostly because the two hunters were still there; eyeing them like they were ready to pounce on him the second they got. “You didn’t have to come out and—“ her request for him to lay down with her brought him back to the rhythm of trust that he’d found when Vitto first got in the water with him. A reminder that they didn’t have to go back to their initial first meeting behavior. They were… friends— maybe more than?
With a hesitation and a sigh Castiel grabbed another blanket and without any warning flopped right down beside her. The blanket draped right over them perfectly and he squished himself up against her even more. “I don’t know what kind of stories you like. I only know scary ones- that involve spiders. And I don’t like spiders so I can’t tell you about the stories.” He heard a lowly chuckle from the shorter of the two hunters and half sat up to scowl at them both, watching them jump and then pretend to dive back into the books they had spread out in front of them. “Not everybody likes spiders.” He grumbled, a valiant effort to “stick it” to the men watching them.
“I can tell you about everything.” Cas followed up as he absentmindedly wrapped his arm around her.
She knows he’s upset with her. He’s told her several times how dumb she was but honestly she felt like it was definitely worth it. Would she do it again? Maybe she’d grab a bigger blanket but the answer would be yes. He gets right up on the couch with her, no questions asked and as if they’ve done this a thousand times, saddles up with her. He starts talking and she falls into a comfortable silence, blue eyes watching his face. Dean’s snide little chuckle gets a rise out of him and his reaction gets a smile out of her. They’re all functioning so much more better than she could’ve ever hoped. She’s got the boys, and she’s got Cas and no one is fighting (at least to the death) and just maybe, could be the fever talking, this could be the family that she really does belong to.
His arms wrap around her and her mind slips away and she gives up her brave attempt to seem unfazed. Truth was, Castiel had to know this, she would sometimes even play up her sickness for this type of closeness with him. But this time she doesn’t have to ask for it, it’s freely given and its her that removes any space between them, his words warm in her ears as she lazily presses her face into his shoulder.
He could tell her everything.
While the thought was amazing, mind boggling, and something she’d want more than anything, that was for another time. She knew what she’d like to hear.
“Tell me,” she whispers, “About you. Anything. Some adventures you’ve been on. The life you led up until right now.” Her fingers find his hand and slowly she threads her fingers through with his. “I don’t want to know about everything. I just want to know about you.”
Her frown is deep, creates wrinkles in her forehead as she watches the shirt sail pitifully through the air and into the tainted snow before them. Definitely ruined. Despite his blatant disregard for the blanket she still reaches back, brushes some dirt and snow off of it and relieved it’s still dry at least, puts it back over his shoulders, puts her arms on her knees, hunches into herself and lets him speak.
It’s a conflicted being with contradicting actions that could infuriate a damn monk. But it was all well placed and well meaning. She couldn’t hate him. Never would. Quietly she picks at the denim of her jeans and lets the silence between them drag on before speaking up.
“So all of this was kinda...for nothing. Which isn’t so bad if you think about it. I mean our adventure wasn’t all bad you know? And you let yourself be that. I’m gonna be honest. I think you feel that you want to be good and help but you can’t because of your scars but the truth is...they’re just scars. Badges of victory. You allow them to dictate the person you are. If I did that, I’d be a demon myself. Truth is...they’re just lines on skin. They only hold the power to make you bad if you let them.”
“I do the same thing.” She stared out at the sky, watching as the snow flakes that drifted from beyond got fatter and thicker. “I let my scars make me the bad guy. And I just...let it happen. I don’t try and change. You can though. Grace? Wings? They’re accessories Castiel. That doesn’t change how you feel, it just means you adapt. You can’t cure a mentally ill patient with one touch, but what you can do is point them in the right direction. Offer them the proper means to find the people who are qualified to help. You don’t need grace to hand a phone number to someone who is depressed and needs someone to talk to.”
“You could’ve,” she added on, rubbing her neck and refusing to make eye contact. “ You could’ve stabbed me if you wanted to. I wouldn’t have screamed or anything and I definitely wouldn’t have hated you. But I’m glad you didn’t. And I’m sorry that I’m not the hunter you thought I was. And I’m sorry for making you stab yourself.”
She swallows thickly, wraps her arms around herself and stands up to leave.
“Come on. First step to admitting you have no grace and wings is realizing you very well can catch pneumonia so you should come inside, okay?”
