#queerveteran

It’s almost been a month since I got to this PTSD program in Coatesville Pennsylvania. I can’t believe how quick time flies when I’m actually getting the help I need. Today was the first time I have gotten really upset an a long time. They tried having games for the veterans but it involves motor skills. Due to my TBI and nerve damage it is very difficult for me to engage in these types of activities. When I was unable to stand still balance thing or do other coordinated games people laughed at me and mocked me not realizing that I wasn’t pretending I really could not do those things. People see a beautiful confident woman and just assume that I have nothing wrong with me. They can’t see the scars in both the inside and the scars underneath my make up from my injury in Afghanistan. It reminds me that as much as I sometimes feel like I have recovered from my injuries I still have a lot of things I will never be able to do again. I don’t understand why in a hospital full of other disabled veterans that they would have these types of games competing us against each other when our some of the veterans here just are hurt so bad they can’t do those types of things. The few veterans that have absolutely no issues with them of course won every single game and it just reminded the rest of us veterans that have disabilities that we can’t participate in those types of games without looking like a fool. I got so upset at some of the games. The one where we had to take what they called chopsticks but we’re really just a little thin sticks. And pick up her shoes by the paper and put them in a cup. I thought I will do really well this I eat with chopsticks all the time back home in Vietnam. But they weren’t even chopsticks and in order to pick up the paper you need to be able to stop your hands from shaking for a second. Oh well I tried the best of my ability to have fun but I ended up just getting angrier and angrier until I almost blew up and had to walk out of there. I forgot just how much I have to work on my anger when it comes to my disabilities. Add being transgender 🏳️‍⚧️ in a veterans hospital and it gets difficult. #transveteran #lgbtqveteran #queerveteran #ptsd (at Coatesville VA Medical Center) https://www.instagram.com/p/CaGK0CRMvdF/?utm_medium=tumblr