Queer Solas x Inky Week Day 1: Identity
Created for @queersolasweek
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Female Lavellan/Solas (Dragon Age)
Characters: Female Lavellan (Dragon Age), Solas (Dragon Age)
Additional Tags: Post-Dragon Age: The Veilguard, Solas Redemption (Dragon Age), Making this fade prison a fade home, Domestic Fluff, Sewing, Nonbinary Solas (Dragon Age), Gender Identity, Gender Experimentation, Bisexual Lavellan (Dragon Age), Fanart, AND fic :D
Series: Part 8 of God Loves You, But Not Enough To Save You (Ghilara Lavellan)
Summary: Solas experiments with his gender with the full and enthusiastic support of his wife, Ghilara.
"Vhenan, I have a question. But you don't need to answer it if you don't want to or if you feel uncomfortable or whatever- its totally fine, I'm just curious, not that-"
"You are inspiring a great deal of fear within me, ma lath," Solas replied with a chuckle, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.
They were lying in bed together, solas cocooned in the safety of Ghilara's arms. Her breasts were soft and squished against his back, her head nestled in at the crook of his neck.
"It's nothing bad or anything-"
"If you could perhaps relieve my trepidation?"
"Right. Well my clan had some stories of Fen'harel. Ones where he would sneak into some Evanuris' court in the form of a woman, or how he tricked one of the forgotten ones into marrying him while he was disguised as a noble lady. I was just… wondering if there was any small nugget of truth to them. And if there was then…"
"In the days of Elvhenan notions of one's gender were… more fluid than they are amongst the dalish." His voice was calm and steady, the voice of the wise teacher, removed from the reality of having lived it.
"So… you did move between them?"
"I… did," he said, voice more hesitant at the directness of her question. He was still unused to talking about his history so freely, even with his Ghilara. Just thinking about it was something he tried not to do.
"Is that something you still feel?"
"It's okay if you do! And if you don't! It doesn't change how- that is, you know I enjoy the company of women- Isabela and I had a thing as you know- but those who are neither, as well as men. Back in my clan Inaen was… anyway. I'll still love you regardless and-"
Solas smiled, twisting his head round to plant a clumsy kiss on the tip of Ghilara's nose. "I know, Ilara. It is more just… I am uncertain of my answer. It is not something I have let myself think of since my rebellion began. There was little time to indulge in such things…" He trailed off as he drifted back into the past. A past that still felt so close, where every day had been another battle, another quandary, organising troops and securing supply lines. Ghilara placed a gentle hand on his cheek and he startled, blinking like a somnambulist come to waking.
"If you wanted to explore it, I would help you however I could." Ghilara's words were stilted, as if she had been considering and cutting off every angle he could have possibly taken offence.
"I know you would Ilara," Solas soothed.