#queenofbaws

🤩 What’s a fun fact about your wip that you really, rEALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT RIGHT NOW IMMEDIATELY???

Well, I was bursting to talk about a ocxoc turned ocxcanon ship that I have for a scrapped series last Thursday and Friday, but I think I'm starting to cool down from the excitement. It's Sunday, so I'm preparing for the work week, which means getting back to original worldbuilding.

There's a lot that pulls me to the ship, but I think it's an example of something I complained about after watching del Toro's Frankenstein.

I don't like to post details about my original worldbuilding (or the story it will apply to, which I still haven't started writing after 4 years of planning) on the Internet. I do like to mark "milestones" because I do work really hard on this project. Barring work doesn't get super busy and nothing unusual happens, I should finish a section of worldbuilding in the next 2-3 weeks, leaving three regions to go. Each usually comes to around 100 pages of notes, then actual content.

🕰️ Has any part of your wip changed over time? How?

So much. I mean, if you simplified the whole story, that hasn't changed. But so many smaller details and subplots have. Like the ship above! That was a huge change that added and removed some scenes.

I started the series in 2019/2020 with just one Magical Girl OC story that blew up into one of those series meant to change the outcome of canon. I got ambitious pretty quickly.

I kept at it for a couple years, but the further I got in the story, there were certain situations and scenarios that weren't working for me. I had new ideas for older parts of the story that had already been posted for a couple years. I finally got frustrated in 2023/2024 and decided to go through what was already written and revamp it all with more information and scenes. Add more context and such. The goal was to catch up to where I left off, and to be much happier with it all.

Part of the problem was that I did not wait to post anything until it was all done. I desired instant gratification. I did not get that.

The other part of the problem was that I was trying to introduce original ideas into a fanfic. People don't read fanfic to see something new and original, and usually not to see a different perspective on the story. They want to see their favorite characters going through the same scenarios. I had way too many OCs. One fic was comprised of only OCs in a region only mentioned in canon, with guest appearances by two very minor canon characters. I had to make my own map(s)!

A third problem all along was that I was writing a female OC. We know how fans are with female characters, and how they are with OCs. It was a double whammy. At first, I was compliant with my OC. She behaved. She spoke out against the bad guys and was at worst neutral towards the good guys. She didn't act out and cause problems. At times, she was a helpless damsel. She became associated as a victim. She remained in the acceptable confines.

That wasn't working for me. I wanted her to be batshit insane, to have some badass moments. I wanted rage and violence and questionable decisions. Even wrong decisions and mistakes. I wanted to toe the line of right and wrong. She was very much an anti-hero, and a villain to some. I wanted her to be messy. Y'know, the things that women get condemned for, even by other women.

If there's a fourth problem, I'd say that I was writing in the wrong fandom. It's very male-focused, queer-coded. Even canon women characters are seen as Problems that get in the way of gay ships, and so the women are made into bitchy romantic rivals. There is very little female friendship. But that's just the environment, not an issue with the fic itself.

What really killed the whole thing for me is that my favorite parts, that I spent so much time building up to, were always poorly received. I got the impression that the story I was trying to write just wasn't being understood. Surprise, surprise, the female OC was criticized for stepping out of place, trying to take charge, and willingly causing harm to others. She was not diminutive and deferential to the men. She actually insulted them and caused problems for them. Fun to write, but none of the readers liked her.

We can reblog all the "write for yourself!" posts all we want, but if all I'm hearing is this character I enjoy is a bad character, then what's the point in sharing?

So last spring, I pulled the whole series down. As it was, I had less time at work and needed to focus more on writing for my original project.

But I still think about that series a lot, and sometimes reread or write a little bit to scratch the itch. Until I seriously begin to write my original project (at least, that's what I tell myself).

There was still so much more to the story that was never shown because I hadn't gotten that far yet. I regret posting so quickly, not waiting until I was all done. By the time I posted about the ship above, I pulled everything off the internet a month later, without anyone noticing. Which is a shame because I really do think the ship is an interesting dynamic that would keep me hooked. Lots of drama, "will-they-won't-they" patch up? I don't care much for romance.

I wrote something last week that I featured in my Six Sentence Saturday post. Holi is on March 2nd, and I might post a excerpt I wrote last year on the holiday that's cute.

💬 Share some dialogue you’re proud of!

I don't know if I can say I'm particularly proud of this one. I always giggle a little bit to myself when I come across it though.

“So if he told you to jump off a cliff, you would do it?” She frowned. “You and the others told me to jump off a cliff before.” Tshering sat straight again, his brows rising slightly. “That was different—we didn't tell you to die at the bottom. You knew how to swim.”