Alive in my mind (entry for day 4 of "50 years of Queen" event)
Well, to be honest, I was planning a Joger/Dealor for today, more cheerful, but I couldn't continue to it. So, this idea came to my mind this morning. It's sad, it has mentions of drinking and some cussing. It's basically John remembering the first time he met Freddie (flashbacks), in the day of the Freddie's funeral.
Big thanks to @50yearsofqueen 's duo (Quirky and Amore), for organize this event!!! Thanks for all the effort in this!!! I'm super thankful for the support you give to all the content creators of the fandom!! The fandom isn't dead, this event it's a huge demonstration of it. So much love for both of you and all the ppl that joined in this event!!!
â-Hi sweetie, my name itâs Freddie- the man said, shaking Johnâs hand.
-Hello, my name itâs John, nice to meet you Freddie-John replied, smiling kindly.â
He couldn't believe it yet. He wished that it just was a nightmare. But no. It was the real life, wasnât fantasy. He tried to escape to his reality, remembering to his friend⌠Happy, alive, with energy. Remembering snippets from their first meeting⌠because, his mind wasnât that good to full memories.
â-How about you? -Freddie asked
-Er... Iâm studying Electronic EngineeringâŚ
-OH! Thatâs so interesting -Freddie added, cheerful-. I studied design.
-Thatâs so cool indeed- John added, smilingâ
âHow bright is⌠WAS his smile⌠That kind smile he was afraid to show it but⌠to me, it was the sweetest smile EVER⌠Fred, despite your lack of physical energy, your spirit and your inner energy remained intact⌠like the last time we met.â -John thought, drinking in his favorite bar after the service. Now alone, despite he had his family, his another friends⌠He felt alone. A part of his soul dead that day. A piece of his heart gone with Freddie. He will not be the same.
-Another pint please -John asked the waiter.
â-Youâre so good John -Freddie said, remarking the word âgoodâ
-T-thanks -John said shyly, smiling â
âMy main reason to smile arenât between us today⌠Even remembering happy moments, my wish to smile faded. It hasn't reasons to be happy now⌠Fucking AIDS, you quitted me my soul brotherâ- John thought, crying and drinking his beer. He tried to erase his feelings a bit, but these bitches were hard to forget and numb.
The owner of the bar saw to John. Concerned, he got closer to John to comfort him a bit.
-John, yâknow, anything you need⌠-the man said, maintaining some distance.
-I need more beer -John said, watching to his almost empty pint.
-I think Iâll call a taxi, JohnâŚ
John watched to him, a bit upset. That feeling grew when he listened that a queen song was sounding.
The owner watched to his personnel and, without saying a word, they changed the radio music.
âBetterâ -John thought.
â-We will call you if youâre in -Freddie said.
-Thanks for this opportunity anyway- John said, leaving the placeâ
Some minutes later of his chat with the owner, he was in the taxi, going back to home. The effects of alcohol remained and his head hurt. His soul hurt. But it doesn't exist any pill to calm that pain.
âI love you Freddie, whenever you areâ, thought John.
---------------------------------
If you liked this fic, please leave a like and/or reblog (reblog counts double! lol). Thanks in advance for your support!!!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
Ok this is really random, could you do a head-cannon of Brian and the reader, who has severe ADHD. Like bad, very hyper, very talkative, jumps from topic to topic, has awful hand writing(cause their mind is faster than their bodies). And they have to constantly experiment with prescriptions to calm them down. (I've had experienced meds that made me BIG depressed, and some that take away my emotions completely. I'd just like to see how he'd be like with someone like me.)
Of course! This is a great HC idea! Thank you for your patience.
So when you got with Brian for a first date, it was very simple. You would go see a matinee at the movie theater and then get food or coffee afterward. But the day of the date, during the movie, you felt the need to bounce your leg. Brian glanced once or twice but didnât say anything. He was worried about wanting to impress you and making sure you had a good time with him. (because Iâm having a good tiiiiime, having a good tiiiimme!)
Then a bit into the movie you began to recognize one actor and whispered into Brianâs ear âIâve seen her in this last film where she was a schoolteacher.âÂ
âOh, really! Whatâs the name?â
 âI canât remember, but have you ever had a schoolteacher you liked?â you ask him, willing yourself not to look at the other people or the minuscule details of the movie.Â
âWell, several, and I was one, Y/Nâ Brian answers.
 âReally!?? What was it like?â
You both basically talk during the movie. Luckily it was a matinee and no one seemed to care. You looked around the theater and said âBrian, did anyone give us an evil eye?â and he nodded his head. You sighed relief from your bout of worry.
The place you ate at was very nice and pleasant. There was a gentle rain falling, but not too loud to distract your attention. And Brian was so charming, gentlemanly, and intelligent. You wondered how he could know so much about anything. He was able to keep up with your mind starting to race. You both talked for about two hours, even long after you had finished your main food and decided to order dessert or a drink of something.
By the second date, you were both walking in a park to see a new flower garden there. You kept walking quickly, just wanting movement and activity. His long leg obliged.Â
But then you sighed and turned to him and asked: âAm I too fast for you?âÂ
Brian chuckled and pointed to his long legs, replying âmaybe Iâm too fast for you. Youâre on a date with a human giraffe!â
Then you paused suddenly, causing his smile to fade. âWell, Brian...I have ADHD so...sometimes Iâm a human speed bullet.âÂ
Your heart started to race. You winced, preparing for the blow of rejection.
Brian simply went âoh!âÂ
You started to bend your posture and return your eyes to him âyou arenât...disgusted?â
He smiled gently. âI have no reason to be...â
You smiled back, then your head turns, seeing the pink and red blossoms and the sign for them in the near distance and grabbed his hand, almost running him over there. âLook, Bri! Itâs beautiful! We have to hurry!â
It wasnât long until you two were âofficialâ and living together.
Luckily (or unluckily) Brian has a bad memory. Almost like yours. So keeping track of the car keys is a struggle. Many a morning has left both of you running around the house in a frenzy only to find they were in the pocket of your pants from yesterday.
You started to experiment a bit more with your medications. You needed something, anything, to keep you in check. Especially with the most wonderful boyfriend in the world who would stand by your side when a doctor's appointment made you nervous and get ice cream afterward.
But there was one medicine that when you switched to it left you depressed. When Brian woke up late, he turned over, wanting to hug you awake to find you had already been awake for a while.
He asked what was wrong.Â
âI just...don't want to leaveâ you answered. After he leaned over to get out of bed you just blurted âIâm just a pathetic loser, I donât even know why you tolerate me!â and started crying.
He pulled you close and let you sob it out into his chest, rubbing your back a little bit.Â
âY/N...I feel like that too sometimes...there were so many days, especially when I go tour with the lads, that I didnât even want to open my eyes...have that day, my love.â
He was there to bring you water and books or the television even. When you wanted another presence, he stayed with you, ever patient.Â
On Valentines Day, Brian gifted you with a beautiful poem he had handwritten for you. But when you handed over your store-bought card in the shape of a lacy white heart, you were embarrassed.
 âDid you not like it?â he asked.
âNo, itâs my card I...my handwriting is crap. It canât be special like yours. I feel patheticâ you confess, feeling like you had murdered the mood.
Brian opened it to find the real reason you bought it. The card came with a cute drawing of his favorite animal with words above it reading âDonât mean to BADGER you, I just want to say I love you!â and he laughed and smiled over it for fifteen minutes.Â
He then kissed you as thanks, you could feel his smile growing wider when his lips pressed yours.
Request: Hello darling! If you're not overwhelmed with requests to write, could you do a little fic where Roger Taylor protects the reader from some creepy guy? Thank you!Â
Thank you love, it has been way too long! <3
You lay your hand on the rough paintwork that coats the bar door and slowly creak it open, the splinters slicing neatly through your fingertips as little bits of paint crumble to the floor. Glancing behind your back to make sure he wasnât following you, you braved it out into the cool night air.
The hinges squeal as though they are a warning, but their plea is silenced by a wall of noise. A sharp smell of drink wafts out with you, followed the dank stench of cigarette smoke, like black plumes bellowing from the windows of a burning house.Â
It was even eerier out on the sidewalk; the side alley you dipped into should have been thronging with bar commuters by this time of day. The litter instead blew like tumbleweed in the sharp November wind, the silence pressed in on you and all you could hear was the beating of your own heart, as well as the slight fizz of the streetlamp as it flickered auburn and back onto the tar of the empty road.
And then suddenly, itâs not empty.
He had followed you out.
His bloodshot eyes twitch uncomfortably under his slightly unkempt hair. He speaks with a brazen, yet intimidating voice; booming without flinch; his presence drains anyone's elated feelings, seemingly absorbing it for is own selfish self, leaving those around his child-like persona deflated and diffused. Bold gluttonous lightening feed into his cutting scythe; fuelling it for it's next unlucky encounter, which just happened to be you.
âHello beautiful, haha, whatâs your name?â
âLook, Iâm not interested sir-â
âWhatâs someone as beautiful as you doing out here, ha, whatâs someone like you doing alone, you shouldnât have to be alone out in the pitch dark, gorgeous. I can protect you, you know, I can keep you warm, and safe.â
The man is a charm to be sure. He has the right twinkle in his eyes and a voice that is more warm than sunlight on amber, with just the right hint of menace to make you back away, your hand sliding over the brick wall as the man frowns, following your every step. There's something in the way he looks at you too, like he's doing so much more than just taking in your form like others do. In that way his own face starts to look like a mask, controlled in order to have a particular effect on you. You mentally put in your ear plugs and find a reason to leave, any excuse, as his form hunches over yours and you can feel his breathe against your cheek, all warm and sickly sweet.
âLook, I really need to go find my boyfriend-â
âNo need love, heâs right here. And who, might I ask, is this asshole?â
Before he could reply he was ripped off of you by an unknown person. Once you looked up you saw that it was Roger, anger flaring in his eyes as the man desperately tries to break free from his hands, but his fists had scrunched so hard into his shirt that his pathetic punches against Rogerâs leather jacket were like rain drops hitting against the ocean.
He throws the man to the floor with a hissed warning, âdonât touch her again, or I wonât be so pleasant, next time.â
âI believe itâs the ladies choice, pretty boy,â he says with a crooked smile, spitting out a little blood onto Rogerâs shoes as he looks up at you, licking his bottom lip slightly.
Roger scrunches up his face in disgust as he walks over to you, grabbing your hand to make sure you were alright, the two of you barely noticing a wild eyed Brian flying out the door with John on his heels, having heard the scuffle outside and fearing they would have to hold Roger back.
âNext time I see you being unkind to any woman, especially my y/n, I will have your head, and thatâs a promise.â
Pairing: Reader x Roger Taylor
Requested: Yes
Summary: You and Roger had only dated for a few months before you found out you were pregnant. The timing was off, he wasnât ready for kids and was leaving for tour soon, leaving you to raise the child on your own. So what happens when Roger Taylor walks into the coffee shop where you and your daughter are enjoying a meal, four years later, and every suppressed emotion floats to the surface?
Warnings: Angst, fluff, language, mentions of sex
A/N: Requested by an anon. I actually cried when writing this because I felt so bad for Y/N. This is my first time writing angst, so hopefully itâs not shit (lets be real, it is). Thanks for reading!
Word count: 4K
MasterlistÂ
The moment you saw him enter the shop, your world stopped. It had been years, 4 to be exact, since that familiar mop of blonde hair was in the same room as you. You felt your breath hitch in your throat, hands becoming clammy, heart beating out of your chest. It was like seeing a ghost. Why did he have to come into this exact coffee shop? You spent the last years pretending he didnât exist. Pretending you didnât see his face all over the news, hearing his music on the radio. It was near impossible. Memories flooding back whenever you heard his voice, whenever you caught a glimpse of him in the papers you walked past on your way to work. It never failed to make a lump form in the back of your throat.
Just when you were about to turn around to pretend you didnât notice him, his eyes met yours. Those beautiful blue eyes you loved, belonging to the man who broke your heart. Completely disappearing from your life. He stopped in his tracks, eyes fleeting from yours to your daughter. The likeliness was uncanny.
-4 years ago-
You were late, very late. Deep down you knew you were pregnant, you had to be. Booking a doctors appointment just to have it confirmed. It still hit you like a tidal wave when the doctor told you. 7 weeks. The walk back to Rogers place went by in a blur. How were you going to tell him? The timing was completely off, he was leaving for a year-long tour in just a few weeks. He wouldnât be home at all. Not to mention the fact that you had only been seeing him for a few months. You were exclusive, but still in the everything-ends-in-sex phase of your relationship. Probably why you ended up pregnant in the first place. Rogers âfool-proofâ method of pulling out whenever you ran out of condoms obviously having failed you.
You hadnât talked about having children yet, you had no idea if he even wanted them. Would he leave you? You shook the thought from your head as you fished the key he had given you out of your pocket. Hoping he wasnât home yet, you slowly opened the door.
âHello?â, you called out. Much to your dismay, Roger called out that he was in the kitchen. Taking a deep breath, you turned the corner to find your boyfriend making himself a cup of tea. He smiled when he saw you, pulling you in for a kiss. Your lips melted against his, feeling some of the worry slip out of your head. You could tell he loved you.
âWhere have you been? I got home early and you weren´t here?â, he asked you, his hand finding yours. He traced circles on the back of your palm.
âI just had some errandsâ, you lied. He smiled, leaning back in for a kiss. It was now or never. Taking a deep breath, you stopped him by putting a hand on his chest.
âWhatâs wrong, love?â
âRoger, we have to talkâ, you said. Your breath was shaky. He could tell you were nervous, gaze softening in concern. âYou better sit downâ.
He nodded, sitting down on one of the chairs around the kitchen table. You opted to stand, trying to calm your nerves. Your heart was beating at a million miles an hour.
âCan you tell me, Y/N? I´m worried for youâ, Roger said. His hand reached for yours again, tears swelling in your eyes.
âSo I-I went to the doctors todayâ, you started. His eyes went wide, obvious concern in them. âI´m late, Rogâ
âWhat do you mean late? What´s wrong?â
âMy period, Roger. I-I´m pregnantâ
You let out a breath you didnât even know you were holding in, nerves calming just a tad. That was until his hand slipped out of yours, seeing his adams-apple bob as he swallowed. Hard. His eyes fell onto your still flat stomach. A knot formed in your throat, tears leaving your eyes.
âIs it mine?â, he asked slowly.
âOf course, Rog. I love youâ
He closed his eyes and drew in a breath. Your heart started beating fast again. Why didnât he say anything?
âPlease say somethingâ
You reached out to touch his cheek, but he flinched at the contact.
âShit Y/N, how could we let this happen?â
âMaybe if you had resorted to using pulling out as a birth control method, we wouldnât be in this situation?â. You were mad at this point. Blood boiling in your veins. This was not solely your fault.
âYeah well if I am correct it takes two to make a fucking babyâ
He stood up and started pacing around the kitchen. His head in his hands.
âWhat do you want to do?â, he asked. Coming to a halt in front of you. You were shocked at his words, surely you would keep it.
âWhat do you mean do? I´m not getting a fucking abortion if thatâs what you´re getting at!â
âFuck, Y/N, I canât have a baby! Iâm not ready. Jesus, I leave for tour soon, the band is taking off. I canât be home changing dirty nappiesâ. He started pacing again.
Your heart fell, tears streaming down your cheeks at this point. It felt like he was reaching into your chest, pulling at your heart strings.
âIs this it then, Roger?â, you stammered, breaking the silence. His eyes met yours as he stopped pacing. They had tears in them too. He looked sad. Worried. He didnât say anything, but you deep down you knew what the answer was. He wasnât ready. You were going to have to do this on your own. Â
You grabbed your purse of the counter and started heading for the door. Tears were clouding your vision. Just as you grabbed the door handle, you felt Rogers hand grab your own. He pulled you into his strong chest, wrapping his arms around you. You were so mad at him, but you couldnât stop yourself as you sobbed into his chest. âI love you so much, Y/N. Please know that. I-I just, fuck, I canâtâ, he whispered. He could feel his heart breaking at his own words.
You sniffled and tore yourself out of his grasp. âGoodbye, Rogerâ, you said before heading out the door. Leaving your heart in a million pieces on the floor.
-Present-
4 whole years, yet you felt the memory flood your brain like it was yesterday. You hadnât spoken a word to him. Not even when you found out you were having a daughter, not when you gave birth. He wanted nothing to do with either of you, you had to respect that. Yet, every day when you looked into your daughtersâ eyes you were reminded of him. They were an exact copy of Rogers.
He was frozen on the spot, eyes still focused on your daughter. She hadnât noticed, too occupied with the drawing she was working on. As his eyes drifted to yours, you felt a knot in your stomach form. You had missed him. Missed his scent, his kisses. Just having him around. And now he was here, a few feet away from you. He looked good, older. His hair was shorter, but still that messy blonde color you once loved.
You offered him a smile, hand doing a small wave at him. He was hesitant, wondering if he should just turn around and walk out. Walk out like you had all those years ago. However, it was like his feet were moving on their own accord. He found himself in front of you, looking down onto that face he had missed so much. You still looked the same. Oh how he had missed that beautiful smile of yours. Your skin against his, the warmth radiating from your body as he held you close.
âHi, Rogerâ. Your voice pulled him out of his trance, a blush creeping onto his cheeks.
âHi, Y/N. Wow, you uh, you look greatâ, he stuttered.
You were positive he could see how fast your heart was beating through your chest. He was really here.
âThanks, so do you. How are you?â
âI´m great. I-is that?â, he gestured to your daughter sitting next to you. He knew the answer. He would have to be blind to not see how much she looked like him. His heart dropped, guilt suddenly washing over him as she looked up at him.
âWho´s that mummy?â, she asked you. She was half-way hiding behind your shoulder, making Rogers heart break. She was beautiful, a perfect mix of the two of you.
âThis is mummys old friend, Rogerâ, you told her. Friend. You swallowed the lump in your throat.
âHi Roger, I´m Oliviaâ, her adorable toddler voice said to him. His face broke into a smile, completely melting under her gaze.
âWhy donât you go back to your drawing, love. I´ll just talk to Roger for a bit, okay?â, you asked her. She nodded and averted her gaze back to the book in front of her.
Roger tore his eyes away from your daughter, his daughter, to look at you as you stood and dragged him a few feet away from the table. Standing in a way so that you could still keep an eye on Olivia.
âI´m sorry, I was just going to get a coffee. I know this is my fault, I just, man, she looks just like meâ, he mumbled when they were out of here hearing range. Sadness watching over him. She was his own flesh and blood and he had just abandoned them. She had to grow up not knowing who her father was, and Y/N had to deal with a child all on her own. He felt so guilty, had been for years. But now it all came bubbling to the surface.
âRoger, it´s fine. She doesnât knowâ
âNo? You never told her?â
âNo, you clearly weren´t interested in being a part of her life and I didnât want her to see your face on the tv and knowing who you areâ, you said as your eyes met his.
âI canât believe I left youâ, he said, voice barely above a whisper. His hand went up to wipe away the tear that had escaped your eye. His touch was warm, familiar even after all that time.
âRoger.. what are you doing?â
âI miss you, Y/N. I have since the day you left my flatâ, he found himself saying. It took him by surprise, never having said it out loud. But it was true. He never really shook the thought of you out of his mind, imagining how your kid would look. If it was a girl or a boy. If you were doing alright. He wanted to reach out to you, tell you he still loved you. But he kept to himself, not wanting to tear open the wound in his heart. Yet here you were, right in front of him.
âThis isnât fair, Rog. You can´t just show up out of the blue and expect me to welcome you back into my lifeâ
âI know, I´m not, I just, the band is doing really great and we´re on a break right now and seeing you brought back so many emotions. Christ, you still look so beautiful, still look like the girl I used to have the privilege of calling my ownâ, he said. You closed your eyes and leant into his hand which was still on your cheek. You knew you shouldnât, shouldnât let him get to you, but you couldnât help it.
âRog..â, you started, but he cut you off.
âI know what I did was wrong, and I regret it so much. Fuck, I have a daughter that I havenât seen until now. I didnât even know it was a girl, Y/Nâ
âYeah well you never reached out to meâ
âI know, and I´m so sorry. I didnât want to push it, besides I was the one who left you. I thought I would be fine letting you go, but seeing you now, Y/N it changed everything. Letting you walk out the door that day was the biggest mistake of my life. I wasnât ready to have a kid, wasnât ready to give up my careerâ
âWhat changed? You´re still in the bandâ
âEverything, love. I miss you so much, I would give everything to have you back in my life. To finally meet my daughter, to have you as my girlfriend againâ
âWhat if there´s already a man in my life, Rog? You canât expect me to have waited for you for 4 bloody yearsâ
His heart dropped at the thought of you with anyone else besides him. Sure, he had been with his fair share of girls, but none ever compared to you.
âPlease, Y/N. I want you to be happy, and if thatâs not with me then thatâs fine. We can be friendsâ, he pleaded. His hand dropped to your arm as he looked over at Olivia. He didnât even know her yet, but he knew he would give the world for her. She was his after all.
âI donât know, Roger. What if it doesnât work out? What if you leave again? I donât want to put her through itâ, you said honestly. As much as it pained you, you had to put her first.
âWe donât have to tell her yet, please Y/N. I want to know my daughter, I want to be in your life again. I still love you, Y/Nâ. Your heart sank at those five words. It was simultaneously all you wanted to hear, and everything you didnât want. Why did you have to run into him? Your life was great. You had a good job, a perfect daughter who brought you so much love. Only a tiny piece missing. Why did he have to stir up those feelings deep inside of you after all these years? You knew you still loved him too, never stopped. He was the father of your daughter, of course you loved him.
âI´ll probably regret this, but how about you come over tonight and I´ll cook dinner and we can discuss this properly? I´ll send Olivia to my mumâ, you asked him.
His eyes lit up, a smile spreading over his face. Butterflies formed in your stomach.
âI´d love that! Do you still live in the same flat?â. You nodded, biting your lip, hoping this wasnât a mistake.
-that evening-
You shakily poured yourself a glass of wine, needing something to calm your nerves. Your mom had just left, taking a sleepy Olivia with her. When she asked what your plans for the evening were, you had just told her you were having an old friend over. You didnât mention that old friend was the man who broke your heart, positive she would flip out and refuse to leave you alone. She meant well, you knew it, but she didnât understand. You had seen something in Roger earlier that day, seen how genuine he was, the regret in his eyes. You could tell he was guilty. Guilty that he had left you to raise your daughter on your own. He had talked to her for a few minutes before he left, and she instantly liked him. He was good with children, definitely more mature now than when you last saw him.
Your heart skipped a beat as your doorbell rang. You took one last check in the mirror before opening the door to find Roger hidden behind a giant bouquet of your favorite flowers.
âRoger, you didnât have toâ, you said as he handed them to you. They smelled delicious.
âBut I wanted to, Y/N. Thank you for giving me a chance to talk things outâ
He chucked his jacket onto the chair in the hallway before following you to the kitchen. Memories of the last time you had been in this particular room of a flat flashing both your minds. You shook the thought out of your head and poured him a glass before taking a big gulp of your own. He was nervous as well, hand shaking as he brought the glass to his lips.
âSo how is everyone? How´s the band?â, you asked as you started eating your homemade lasagna. You were trying to ignore the matter at hand, postponing it as much as possible. Roger seemed to want the same, eager to let the awkward tension in the air go.
âThey´re great! We just got back from a tour, John and Brian both have kids now so we´re not on the road as much as before. Or at least not for as long. Freddie is living his life, writing amazing songsâ
âI have seen you guys on TVâ
âReally?â
âMhm, itâs kind of hard to avoidâ
âDo you like our music?â
âWell, yeah but I try to avoid it, because, you know...â
His face fell at your words. He hated that he hurt you, hated that he had left you.
âReally Y/N, I´m so sorry. I wish I could do it all over again. Wish I could just hold you that day, been there for you during your pregnancy, been there to hold your hand when you gave birth, been there to help raise Oliviaâ
âPretty sure you wouldnât want to be there when I gave birth, that was a shit-showâ
His face softened, a smile falling on his lips.
âI still should have been there for youâ
âYeah, well you weren´t and we canât change that nowâ, you mumbled. Tears were threatening to leave your eyes again, looking away to stop them. He reached across the table to grab your hand, forcing your gaze to meet his.
âI donât know what else to say, Y/N. Leaving you is the biggest regret of my life, please, can you find it in you to give me a chance to prove myself to you?â
âWhat do you want, Roger? Do you want us to be a happy family all of a sudden?â
âHopefully we will get there eventually, but I know that I have to earn your trust, and if you let me, Olivias trust as well. I know I wasnât ready four years ago, and itâs not fair of me to say that I am now, but Y/N you have to believe me. I want nothing elseâ
His voice was breaking as he said those last words, tears falling down his cheek. His hand was still in yours, rubbing circles on the back of it like he used to do back when you were together. You heart wanted nothing more than to go over to him and kiss him, feel his heartbeat against your cheek as you rested on his chest, just having him close. However, your head told you no, remembering way too vividly those months after he had left for tour. How alone you felt, how no one was there to watch your bump grow, no one to go to ultrasounds with. It was a battle between your head and your heart, and Roger could tell you were weighing his words.
âDo you still love me, Y/N? Or is there someone else?â
âOf course I do, Rog. You are still the biological father of my daughter, I see you in her every day. I´ve tried to date, I really have, but they donât seem to stand the test of time, or Olivia hates them. It´s hard when you have a kidâ, you mumbled, taking another sip of your wine. It was true, you knew you still loved him. Knew the moment your eyes met his earlier today.
He rose from his chair, walking around the table to kneel in front of you. His fingers wiped the tears off your cheeks before putting your hands in his, looking up at you with pleading eyes.
âAll I´m asking for is a chance. We can go as slow as you want, I just want you. In whatever way I can. If that means just being friends, then so be it. Y/N, I need you in my life. I love you so fucking much it hurts, Iâve thought about you everyday for the last four years and I can´t stand another day without youâ
His eyes were literally begging you, heart breaking at the expression on his face. You sank down to the floor in front of him, letting him pull you into his chest as you snaked your hands around his waist. You were both full on sobbing at this point, at how much the past hurt but also how much you loved each other. You knew you didnât want to let him go, wanted him to stay with you forever this time. His embrace felt so familiar, it was like you finally found the place you had been subconsciously looking for the last four years. He was really here, right in front of you, ready to do whatever I took to be yours again. You couldnât say no, you had to give it a try. For both yourself and for Olivia.
âPlease say something, Y/N. What do you want?â, Roger said as he pulled away slightly, eyes meeting yours. You looked down at his lips for a brief second before resting on his again. Drawing in a breath, you said those words your heart was aching for you to utter.
âI want you to kiss me, Rogâ
His eyes went wide for a second, taken back by your abruptness. He almost didnât believe it was true, but when you leant forward slightly, his heart skipped a beat. Both his hands shot up to your face, rubbing his thumbs over your cheeks before licking his lips. He leant in, finally closing the distance between you, soft lips meeting his. You melted into the kiss, the familiar feel of his lips against your own having your knees weak. There was so much emotion, tears mixing on your cheeks as he deepened the kiss. Lips warm against yours. It was almost desperate. Both of you eager to have the other one near. Your hands snaked around his neck, pulling him closer. Needing to have him closer as your lips moved against his. They fitted so perfect together, confirming that this was definitely the right decision. Oh, how you loved this man.
You were both out of breath when you finally pulled away, foreheads resting together.
âYou better not make me regret this, Taylorâ, you laughed. Breath hot on his face as a smile broke out onto his.
âI wouldnât dareâ, he whispered before kissing you again. âSo, where do we go from here?â
âI think we should start by introducing you as just you, before you know, dropping the bomb on herâ
âWhen can I meet her? I know I´m pushing but I´ve missed so much of her childhood alreadyâ. He sat down on the floor, pulling you onto his lap. His hands snaking around your waist as he placed a kiss onto your temple.
âI guess soon, I just want her to be comfortable with you before telling herâ
âYeah, that seems like a good idea. It´s up to you, but maybe I can come around again tomorrow or something?â. He was eager, not wanting to push you but still so excited to finally know his daughter. He had thought about his child every day, wondered whether it was a boy or a girl, what they looked like. If they looked more like him or more like you. He was finally going to be a father.
âFine, l´ll let you see her tomorrow morning when she comes homeâ
âDoes that mean you want me to stay the night?â. He wiggled his eyebrows at you, making you giggle.
âWe have some catching up to do, donât you thinkâ, you said, hands pulling at the hair in his neck. His eyes darkened, drawing in a breath.
Hi there folks! Weâre here to celebrate 300 followers!! Yay! đđŤ
This is a prompt list we put together to have a little fun of our on with your suggestions!
(Shout out to @frcddiesmercury and @theborhapboysawakenedmywhatever, from whom weâve âstolenâ some of the Quotes you see below. We hope you guys donât mind love ya â¤Â )
What you have to do is choose a number from each section below (or just one if you want, weâll figure out the rest) and send us via ask!
Examples of format you can send us:
Joe Mazzello, Quote [48], Fluff [2]
Lucy Boynton & Rami Malek, Fluff [10]
Roger Taylor, Quote [22], Smut [other: âŚ]
Requests are gonna be open for about a week (roughly until August the 1st, aka next Thursday, at 12am UTC+2, CEST) so hurry up! Weâll post the blurb/one-shot as soon as itâs ready. đ¤¸đ˝ââď¸â
Weâre looking forward to knowing what you guys have in mind!
Have fun folks! đ¤
Note from the writers: weâre gonna try and please you guys as much as we can, that means sometimes stepping outside our comfort zone. Please know that we reserve the right not to write anything that makes us uncomfortable or that might make our followers uncomfortable. We hope you understand our point âĽ
Cheers, folks
xx
CHARACTER/s
from Queen (70s / 80s / 90s)
John Deacon
Brian May
Freddie Mercury
Roger Taylor
 from Borhap
Lucy Boynton
Ben Hardy
Gwilym Lee
Rami Malek
Joe Mazzello
Note: If you want, you can request a story between two of the characters above.
QUOTES
âYou look so sexy when youâre ignoring me.â
âYouâre so hot when youâre angry.â
âYou couldnât handle me even if I came with a user manual.â
âI may be a mess, but Iâm the hottest mess youâve ever seen.â
âLook him in the eyes and just try to tell me he isnât the devil.â
âForgive me if Iâm misreading things, but do you want to make out?â
âYouâre telling me youâve never had an orgasm?â
âYou look so good down there.â
âShow me how you touch yourself.â
âClose your legs.â
âMake me.â
âLook at me.â
âIs that my shirt?â
âThe only way youâre getting off is on my thigh.â
âIâll take my shirt off when your pants are gone.â
âI uh, had a dream about you last night.â
âHave you really never had a threesome before?â
âI had no idea you were into that.â
âDonât just stand there looking at me.â
âThereâs something I need to get off my chest.â
âI canât believe Iâm telling you this.â
âI donât often get the chance to talk to someone like you.â
âThe way you flirt is shameful.â
âI wonât hesitate to throw you under the bus if we get caught.â
âOf course weâre best friends. No one else would put up with our shenanigans.â
âWould you mind coming with me for a minute?â
âGive me one good reason why I should wear that dress.â
âOh my god. Youâre in love with her/him.â
âWell? What happened? I want all the details!â
âDid you enjoy yourself last night?â
âAw, no, Iâve hated you since the day we met.â
âIâm sorry. I thought you were someone else.â
âWhy do you have that look on your face?â
âDo you still love me?â
âI love you, okay?â
âItâs so hard for me to hate you right now.â
âI think thatâs enough wine.â
âHow could you ask me that?â
âHey, you left your bra at my place.â
âIs this really the end?â
âAny particular reason youâre holding my lingerie?â
âWhy donât you leave those pretty little heels on?â
âYou can rest, Iâll stay right here.â
âCigarettes and cheap perfume, huh?â
âDonât interrupt me!â
âIt reminds me of her/him.â
âHow did you find me?â
âLet me walk you home.â
âI always thought we were more than friends.â
âWeâre not âfineâ!â
Other: Something of your choice
 FLUFF
He/She asks you out
First date
First âI love youâ
Moving in together
He/She proposes
Wedding day
Anniversary
Birthday
Going on holiday together
Going out with friends
You tell them youâre pregnant
You overhear them talking to their friends about you
One of you is sick and the other takes care of them
You feel ashamed of your body and they reassure you
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
A/N:Â This is a work of fiction! It takes place in an altered universe where certain member's partners donât exist. Should line up with the Sheer Heart Attack tour. No one requested this. @rogers-wristbands was kind enough to proof read for me (thank you, love). Iâve been told that Iâm no longer allowed to come for anyoneâs whole life just because Iâm sad (bc I definitely did. I came for my own favorite.) Enjoy!
Warnings:Â Angst (like you wouldnât believe), Cheating (very bad. I do not condone this), Pregnancy (Unplanned), Mention of Abortion, Swearing
Word Count: 1.6k
The boys had been on tour for about a month now. It felt much longer than that thanks to waking up to a routinely empty bed. Youâd had phone calls nightly, but a disembodied voice did nothing to soothe the ache that was beginning to burn through your soul.
Brian usually called you at the same time every night. Just before you went to bed, which was before the show started but after soundcheck. Tonight, the call was running late. John had managed to sneak a call in to check on his favorite un-biological sibling. Yes, he really insisted on using that term, just to get under your skin and drive you a little crazy. After years of pretending to hate it, youâd grown quite fond of it and missed hearing it while he was away.
âWhat do you mean he hasnât called?â Youâd swear you could see his eyebrows furrowing through the line, his mouth managing to flatten and pout at the same time. âHe left 30 minutes ago to go back to his room and change before the show. Heâs had plenty of time.â
âI guess Iâll just have to be the one to call tonight.â You said a little wistfully, Something wasnât sitting right with you. âCan I have the number for your hotel?â
âSure. Ask for room 615.â
âDr. Mâs room. How can I help you?â It came through the line too giggly, too feminine, and absolutely wrong.
âIf you could put Mr. May on, Iâd appreciate it.â You managed to hide the venom in your voice surprisingly well, but you were sure your facial expression told a very different story. Thank the powers that be for telephones not having a video option.
âBriiii ~ phone for you.â The mystery woman called out.
âWho is it Junie?â You heard call back.
âThey didnât say, but they did ask for you by name.â She must have forgotten to cover the receiver because the amount of giggling you heard next was enough to make you forget all the coolness you had purposefully injected into your tone.
âHello?â This voice you knew. Youâd heard it every night for the last 12 months either in person or over the phone.
âHello, Bri.â The malice in your voice was clear. You could hear the blood draining from his face over the line. âLose my number and donât bother coming to see me when you get back. Tell Junie I said hello.â The last thing he heard was a click then a dial tone.
The show that night was a disaster. John had told you as much the next morning when he called to chew you out for messing with the guitaristâs head. The conversation quickly turned around when you told him what had happened.
You still got nightly phone calls, but now it was your oldest friend and confidant instead of the man you thought you loved.
About 2 weeks after the switch, you noticed you were feeling sick all the time. Youâd mentioned it to John and promised to see a doctor if it stayed that way for more than a week.
âJohnnie,â you breathed out in a sigh of relief when the phone rang that night. True to your word, youâd gone to the doctor after feeling like crap for a week. âIâm so happy to hear your voice right now.â It was starting to come out in sobs, all your forced composure slipping from your grip.
âHey, hey, Y/N. Breathe.â He whispered to you and hoped that his words would provide the comfort that his arms could not. âWhat happened? What did the doctor say?â
âJohn . . . Iâm pregnant.â
The silence that followed was not what you were hoping for, but you knew it was a distinct possibility. John quietly followed it with death threats to the only person he knew could be the father and promises to support you with any decision you made.
The band would be home in 2 weeks for a short break. Brian seemed to have lost your number and you had no intention of looking up one for him to tell him this news. You told John that you still had time to make your decisions and wanted to see him in person before making anything real.
The day had finally come. You were estimated to be about 8 weeks pregnant. John had promised to come see you before running off to Veronicaâs. As a man of his word, he knocked on your door early that afternoon and scooped you into a hug. You werenât ready for that hug to send you spiraling into a mass of tears, but it did. Having John back meant decisions had to be made, people had to be told, things had to be done.
The one thing you knew for sure was that âhaving some sort of an accidentâ was completely out of the question. The little bean growing inside you was partly you. They had been your most constant companion through all the heartbreak and anger youâd endured. Your little bean was going to live, you just werenât sure you were the best option for a parent.
John once again kept his promises and supported your decision. He hadnât told a single soul of your situation, but now it wouldnât be a secret for much longer. The break was only for a week to regroup with loved ones before continuing the tour. If you were going to keep bean, there was someone youâd have to tell and a signature youâd have to collect.
âAre you sure this is what you want?â You had heard those words too often in the last few weeks. First from John, then your parents, and now from Brian.
âAnd what would you propose as an alternative, Mr. May?â You had said his name with such contempt that it would be difficult for a passerby to believe youâd been in a loving relationship at any point in time.
Brian just looked at you sadly. Heâd never gotten the chance to apologize and it looked like he wasnât going to. You had come over, accompanied by John, to inform him of your new situation and get him to sign away his parental rights. If you were going to have your little bean, Brian would have no say in the matter.
âItâs just that this is my child too, Y/N,â he had always wanted to be a dad one day. It broke his heart that his eldest child wouldnât get to know him.
âAre you joking?â Something about your quickly shifting hormones pushed you to anger quite often. At this moment you could feel it pulsing through your veins and pooling in your stomach, as if to make a protective cover for your little bean that was growing there. âYou wouldnât even know if I didnât need you to sign this. As far as Iâm concerned, you lost all privileges to have a say in how I conduct my life the moment that woman entered your room.â Â
Brian wanted to bite back at you. He wanted to be angry, but the only person he could find at fault was himself. He slowly signed the document and passed it to you.
John had been characteristically quiet throughout the whole exchange. He just watched for the moment things went to far and he would need to intervene, but it never came.
âGood bye, Mr. May, and good luck with your future endeavors.â You removed some of the anger from your voice as you said your good-bye, opting for a cool if almost business like tone. You could feel John watching you, waiting for the next outburst.
âGood bye, Y/N. John.â Brian let you leave without trying to convince you of anything further.
You were lucky to make it through the majority of your pregnancy with minimal complications. Morning sickness was a bitch, but it ended early in your second trimester. John delivered a bit of good news the same day your morning sickness ended.
Veronica was pregnant, too. You had someone to formally bond with while you made it through your journey. Also, your little bean would have a lifelong friend, just like you did.
With the band wrapping up a tour and planning to record every day, you and Veronica grew very close. So much so that John started to feel like he was being replaced by his own wife. You reassured him of his importance in your life by asking the two of them to be godparents. They gladly accepted.
Days came and went as time passed you by. Youâd been so busy preparing for the little one to finally make their appearance, that you were almost shocked when your water broke. Luckily, a phone call to the Deacon residence (and to your parents) gathered all the necessary people to meet you at the hospital.
Several hours later, you were greeted by two smiling faces holding a small white bundle. Labor for you had been intense and after the initial skin contact, you more or less passed out.
âGood morning, mumma.â You heard Ronnieâs sweet voice greet you as you turned your head to look at her.
âGood morning.â You smiled gently, still extremely tired from delivery, but absolutely delighted that John and Veronica had waited to see you.
âI hope you donât mind, darling, but we couldnât stop ourselves from seeing our godchild.â John spoke this time. He only called you darling when he really wanted something from you, or when he was feeling extremely vulnerable.
âOf course not.â You smiled at the pair of them, feeling something loosen in your chest. In just a few short weeks, youâd be back for their little nuggetâs delivery. âHowever, I do think that itâs breakfast time for the two of us.â
âQuite right, Y/N.â Veronica passed you the bundle sheâd been holding.
Looking at your little girl made you so incredibly happy. Thank heavens you had decided to keep her, your little bean. She made everything worth it.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed this and Iâm sorry. Leave me some feedback! Iâd love to come for someone elseâs fave.Â
A/N: Iâve been listening to "Let Me Live" from the Made in Heaven album on repeat and I got the idea of reader living with John as heâs going through Freddieâs death. Also Iâm pretty new to this whole writing thing so Iâm really sorry this is really bad :/
Warnings: aaangst, mentions of death (Freddie Mercury), inaccuracies, Deacy with a c (lol)
Hereâs a goofy gif to ease the pain ;)
You woke up to the familiar smell of your boyfriendâs stench that had been present for the past week. John had barely moved from his bed since the morning you both received a call from Jim, saying Freddie had died the evening before. Heâd been quiet ever since, occasionally throwing in a few âgood morningâs, âgoodnightâs or âI'm not hungryâsâ here and there. You tried your best to leave him be, but you hated seeing him like this.
âGood morning, sweet.â you said as you pecked a kiss at his cheek. He buried his face into his pillow at the feeling of your lips, making you frown. You ran your hand through his hair, ignoring the fact that he flinched at the touch as well. You announced that he should take a bath.
âBri and Rog want you to be down at the studio today, only if you felt like recording.â He nodded, shuffling and stumbling to the bathroom.
You heard him close the door and lock it. You sighed - he never locks the bathroom door. After opening the windows in the bedroom and making the bed, you made your way to the kitchen to make some cheese on toast for him, hoping that would bring him joy somehow.
While you were pouring the hot water into two cups for tea, you heard him walk into the kitchen. You turned around to talk to him, but your words were quickly replaced by stifled giggles. John had wrapped a towel around his chest, instead of his waist. He somehow found a way to wrap another towel around his head, but what surprised you the most was that the towel didnât fall. You gave him a light smile as you wrapped the towel in its rightful place and looked up at him. His eyes were avoiding yours.
âGuess I'm too used to taking care of you.â he muttered, so quietly that you almost didnât catch it. You pressed your lips together as your fingers traced the outline of his jaw. He didnât like the contact and leaned out of it. You missed the old Deacy, where all he had to do was smile to make you forget your struggles. He wouldnât sleep until you fell asleep first or get out of bed before you were awake. Heâd cuddle you through your nightmares and listen eagerly at every great dream you had.
Heâd been so distant lately. It was like he left with Freddie.
âListen, I get that you just wanna be alone for now but I am here for emotional support, being your girlfriend and all, but only if you want me to be.â
âI'm fine, Y/N, you donât need to keep asking me,â he said, rather sternly, âand youâre helping me enough.â He sat down at the kitchen counter and took a bite of his cheesy toast.
âDeacy, I know youâre not. And I'm not helping one bit. Youâve been avoiding me, Brian and Rog this whole week. Speaking of, they really wanna finish this album. It might help you clear your mind, doing something you enjoy.â
âI canât seem to enjoy anything when everything reminds me of him! Especially playing the bass and being with those two,â he raised his voice, making the both of you uncomfortable, âeven you remind me of him.â he sighed.
Of course you did. It was Freddie that made him go to a club that night, the same club you happened to be in. He made him talk to you, get your phone number and persuaded him into calling you later that night.
âI'll tell the boys youâre not up for recording today.â
âThank you...love.â There was a slight sign of uncomfort at the last word, which caused you to shudder.
You really felt useless to him.
The phone call was made. Brian and Roger both understood his reasoning, but they expected something from him sooner than later. You said youâre trying your best and they agreed. John had made himself comfortable on the sofa, his body sprawled across it, staring at the ceiling. You gave him some clothes you found upstairs in his closet and you helped him as he slowly wriggled into them, despite him frequently mumbling that he could do it by himself and that he didnât need help. You took a seat at the piano next to the fireplace, prodding the keys and playing a familiar tune.
âMonday, start of my holiday. Freedom for just one week, feels good to get away.â
You heard a slight chuckle and you beamed. It worked! He joined you with the second verse.
âTuesday, I saw her down on the beach. I stood and watched a while, and she looked and smiled at me.â he sang, turning to look at you. You couldnât help but notice his eyes, glossed with a thin layer of tears.
âWednesday, I didn't see her. I hoped that she'd be back tomorrow.
And then on Thursday, my luck had changed. She stood there all alone, I went and asked her name. I never thought that this could happen to me in only seven days. It would take a hundred or more for memories to fade.â
You decided to end the song there as John went back to staring at the ceiling in deep thought.
âYâknow, it wouldnât kill you to listen to your own words.â
âEh?â
ââIt would take a hundred or more for memories to fadeâ? Love, Freddie might be gone, but you can still continue his legacy.â
He broke into tears after that sentence. You abruptly left the piano to kneel next to his head and comfort him.
âOh, God I'm sorry, I'm really sorry love-â
âN-no itâs not your fault itâs...itâs just the song I-â he spoke through sobs. Youâd never actually seen him cry before, not even after the phone call, and you could feel your heart shattering into a million pieces at the sight of him so broken, âI wanted to write this for you but I couldnât find the right words. Freddie, he- he helped me so much.â
âAnd look at how successful this and all your other songs turned out to be. Look at how successful you all are.â
âBut that was because of him.â
âDonât be ridiculous, Deac,â you said as you sat him up so you could sit next to him. His head automatically fell into your shoulder and you felt the tiniest bit of relief, âyou guys are all so good at doing what you do. Thatâs why millions of people love you and your songs. Hell, I donât think the name Queen will ever die out.â
âI just- I'm too scared to write a song without having the usual feedback I get from Freddie.â
You cupped his cheek, tilting his head a little to kiss his forehead. You could tell that he was trying so hard to stop himself from flinching.
âTell you what, since Iâve inspired you before, weâll go to the studio today and Iâll stay. You can always get feedback from the boys. Or me. Though Iâm not as talented.â
He looked up with red eyes and a small Deacy smile that didnât last long. You wiped away his tears and was about to lean down to kiss his lips, but he seemed to predict that move as he leant his head on the other side of the sofa. Just as you thought things were working out well.
âI love you.â you said as you got up to call Brian and Roger, stroking Johnâs cheek before you left the room. He didnât react to that at all.
-
You both walked in to the studio, Deacy carrying his bass with both hands. Brian saw you walk in, frowning at the lack of physical contact between the two of you. He could definitely tell that something was wrong. You hoped heâd ask you later - he gives useful advice sometimes. Roger was standing next to him and when he saw you, he looked more delighted than John recently looked waking up.
âY/N! Finally!â he ran over to you, kissing your cheek and pulling you into a deep hug, âand Deacy! Weâre so relieved youâre here. We really need your expertise.â
âRoger and I have been fighting on how to continue "Let Me Live". Itâs the only song we have left of the album, but weâre not gonna release it just yet. Better let the press settle down a bit first.â He let out a sad chuckle when you went to hug him.
âThought we decided to drop that.â John muttered.
âAh, we revived it. Anyway, we only have that one verse that Freddie wrote.â Brian finished, scratching his chin with the end of a pencil. John and Roger made their way over and crowded around the various sheets of papers filled to the sides with music notes.
âWhy donât we go for the same melodic structure and just change the lyrics? That way we donât risk messing up.â John said and the other two seemed to like it. Roger patted John on the back.
âSee? This is the genius we were missing.â he said grinning. You laughed at Brian rolling his eyes. John gave a small smile to Roger, but his face quickly turned poker.
âAlright then, letâs just have you improvise and we can gather up some words.â Brian suggested.
âUm, yeah sure.â John never liked singing - heâd only ever do it if it was with you or the band.
âDonât worry, sweet,â you said, placing a hand on his shoulder, which he wasnât slow to subtly shrug off. You saw in of the corner of your eye that Brian was looking your way, âjust remember what I said. I'm your inspiration, baby.â you said playfully. Nothing. You walked into the control room where Brian and Roger was, ready to press the button and let John sing.
âOkay, "Let Me Live" additional verse, recording one...aaand go.â Brian said, pointing to John and pressing a button that started playing Freddie's vocals.
âTake your time, weâll just loop the instrumentals and write down the lyrics until you stop.â Roger called out, holding a notebook and pen. John nodded, gluing his eyes on you as his brain visibly whirred.
As the recording of Freddie finished what was then a very short chorus, John started singing.
âWhy donât you take another piece of myâŚsoul? Why donât you...shape it, and...shake it...ah- um, until youâre really in control. Does that work?â he called out, breaking eye contact with you. Frantically writing, Roger nodded.
ââGood, itâs good. Letâs re-record that part with more confidence this time.â John nodded. As he re-sang the lines, Brian turned to look at you.
âY/N?â you hummed in response, âHave you noticed that heâs been staring at you the whole time he sang those lines?â
âI told him he could look at me for inspiration. Like how he wrote âIn Only Seven Daysâ?â
âYes, but that was a love song. This...I'm not too sure what this is, to be honest.â
You paused to hear that John had gone on to complete the chorus and was now working on the bridge with Roger.
âIâve noticed you two arenât handsy. Very unnatural - well, for you.â he grinned at you when you playfully shoved his shoulder.
âThanks for worrying. I guess we all just have different ways of getting through something like this.â
âI guess so. But for the sake of your happiness, I'm gonna call a break so you can talk it out.â
âYouâre too kind. Make sure you listen through the tapes.â
âI got it,â he said with a wink, âAlright, great work Deacy. You deserve a break.â
You suddenly felt a wave of fear fall over your body and walked outside to get some fresh air, John following you.
âYou alright?â he asked you.
âThose were some pretty harsh lyrics, Deac.â you whispered.
âItâs a pretty harsh song.â
âBut you were staring at me while singing it. Itâs like you were telling me those exact words.â You bit your lip, he didnât seem to look guilty.
âI just sang what came into mind when I look at you.â he shrugged.
âYou think I'm controlling?â you crossed your arms, trying to mask the growing pain in your chest. Tears started to well up in your eyes.
âNo- well...no, thatâs not what I meant. Itâs just-â he obviously had something he was hiding.
âWhatâs wrong, John?â you tried to sound soothing, but it ended up sounding desperate. He was startled at your use of his real name, but his forehead quickly furrowed.
âLook, Iâm fine! Could you please stop pestering me!â he shouted at you and you stood in shock, not knowing what to say.
âGod, Y/N, this past week Iâve had to deal with your voice constantly repeating the same sentence.â his fists were clenched. You were speechless - in the almost 20 years youâve known him, youâve never seen him get visibly mad at anything.
âI- Iâm just trying to help-â
âWell, itâs clearly not working! I thought youâd stop after realising it wasnât.â
âI did, I swear I tried to let you heal by yourself but...Deacy I just love you too much!â
âYet I donât feel the same way!â his voice lowered, realising what he said, ânot anymore at least.â
You didnât want to believe it at first. You searched hopelessly in his eyes, trying to find a sign of a joke somewhere, but you couldnât. Your eyes fell to your shoes as you knew the truth.
âI just- I donât feel like I can continue this. Us, I mean. Well...Queen and us.â
You felt your heart sink to your feet as the colour drained from your face. He took a deep breath before continuing.
âIâm retiring. I want to finish the album with the boys and then leave. Spend more time with myself. Itâs just- it doesnât feel the same anymore. Not without Freddie.â His voice broke and he rubbed his eyes, âI tried giving it a shot, I canât, Y/N, nothing feels right.â
âDeacy I-â
âStop calling me that!â
Your knees were about to give way and your bottom lip started trembling.
âJohn. things could still work out. You just have tell me what I need to do.â
âI need you to go.â he said sharply. Those words felt like spears going directly through your stomach.
âBut John-â you pleaded.
âNo, stop. Just- let me live. Leave me alone.â He walked into the studio, leaving you out in the cold.
You hesitated for a few seconds, trying to get some feeling into your legs again and wiping the few drops of tears that had fallen, before walking into the studio. You kept your head down, ignoring Brianâs questions and Rogerâs snarky comments on taking a long break. You grabbed your coat and turned to look at the crew for one last time.
âGood luck, you guys. Freddieâs proud of you all.â
You flashed a quick smile to both Brian and Roger as you turned and walked out, hot tears rolling down your face. You could hear Johnâs voice as they started practicing again.
âWhy don't you take another little piece of my life? Why don't you twist it, and turn it, and cut it like a knife? All you do is live, all I do is dieâŚâ
You picked up the pace and ended up running down the road, trying to run as far away from his voice as possible, while you sobbed out your heartâs content.
-
Part 2
Let me know what you thought! Criticism is openly welcomed :)Â
âHello~~ Can I just say that your fics are the bomb đđ I literally canât wait for more!!! I was hoping if I can request an angst imagine. It can be anyone from queen or the cast!! Also any scenario! Thank ya đâ -Anon
Warning: ANGST
A/N: so i donât consider myself to be good at writing angst bc iâm all about the fluff but hopefully yâall like this one !! also thank you anon for the request! (i can finally brush up on writing angst) happy (or sad) reading! <3 this could also be read as gwilym!brian if youâd like.
He looked at you through the glass window with an affectionate gaze, smiling softly at the sight of you sitting on the couch in the recording room, in your comfy jumper, reading glasses resting on the bridge of your nose, with your favorite book in hand. Brian thought you were absolutely gorgeous, even in the simple state you were in.
He was currently sitting on a chair inside the recording booth, fixing his guitar and what not. Making sure you stayed focused on reading your book, he continued to stare at you, and he couldnât help but get lost in a daydream.
âOf course Iâll marry you, you idiot!â You shouted at your boyfriend, who was currently down on his one knee, holding the most beautiful ring you ever saw. He chuckled as he stood up, finally putting the ring on your ring finger before pulling you into a warm embrace, your face buried in his chest.
He pulled away to see your tear-stained face, some of your mascara going along with it. âYou made me ruin my makeup, Bri,â You pouted, making him chuckle. He wiped your cheeks with his hand, and pressed his lips against against your damp cheek. âI love you so much, (Y/N),â He said softly as he gazed into your (E/C) eyes.
You smiled fondly at your curly-haired fiancĂŠ, âI love you too, Brian,â You stood on the tips of your toes, leaning in to finally kiss his soft lips deeply, snow continuing to fall from the sky.
Next thing you know, you were waiting outside the wooden door that leads to the chapel, clad in a long white gown, face hidden behind a sheer veil, and holding a bouquet of flowers that your mother helped you choose.
Your thoughts were interrupted as you heard the wooden doors start to creak open, slowly revealing the beautifully decorated chapel, filled with your family and friends. You breathe in, slowly walking down the aisle, heading towards the love of your life waiting at the altar.
Brian looked at your figure walking towards him, his breath hitched, tears threatening to escape his eyes. He couldnât even comprehend how doubtlessly beautiful you were. It was like he fell in love with you again. It was like it was just you and him in the chapel, no one else around, just the two of you.
Just the two of you.
Thatâs all he ever wanted.
To get married, to have kids, to grow old together.
And youâre the one he wants to experience all of these with.
However,
Brian noticed a certain blond drummer entering the recording room, interrupting the quiet atmosphere you were in while you were deep inside the world of your book. You looked up from your book, smiling at Roger before standing up to be wrapped up in his arms.
Brian could only watch through the window, both of you pulling away before Roger lifted your chin up, so his lips could meet yours.
