The one that everyone else on the Little Peninsula sees as a ruthless aggressor is really just the opposite. It takes a lifetime to unlearn pain patterns that were necessary for survival in an earlier time. That learning curve for how to accept affection and love in their place. It probably appears as a “short temper” in the process.
All those times Eugenides tries to take her hand and pull her toward him and she pulls away because she’s terrified of him-- of his strength and his power and stealth and that’s why she cut his hand off in the first place... Fear is the tragic universal motivation for anyone harming another. That time where he appears in her tent with his sword and she thinks he’s there to kill her and he kisses her instead...
Eugenides reached to take her hand, but she was sitting at his right side and he had to reach across his body. He raised himself on his elbow, but she freed her hand and pushed him gently back into bed. (QoA p. 358-357)
His wildness sometimes frightened her."No," she said repressively, and was unprepared when he pulled her down the steps in spite of her refusal. She staggered, and struggled for her balance, but he didn't let go of her hand. The court hissed in barely concealed rage to see their queen treated so. Even those who opposed the queen liked the Eddisian less."The court is watching," she pointed out."I thought you wanted me more exposed to the public eye." he teased.
"I reverse myself," she said coldly, "and argue for a little circumspection." She tugged at his hand, but he didn't release her. She gave up, unwilling to be seen trying to pull away. (KoA p. 98)
She came through the palace doorway ahead of her attendants, who joined her one by one, all showing signs of haste. The people on the stairs moved silently out of the queen's way, and she looked down at the king, who still hadn't looked up. Walking stiffly, she came silently down the stairs. The guards broke their cordon to admit her.She reached for Eugenides and touched him on the face. He lept backward like a startled deer, so explosively that Costis almost fell over trying to hold him. The queen snatched her hand back as if she had been burned. (KoA p. 175-176)
...Nothing stirred in the courtyard, not even the air, while the queen looked down at the king and the king looked down at his feet...The queen had begun another slow step backward up the stair behind her when the king caught her by the wrist and pulled her forward...[Costis] had to shift his footing with care, and shift it again as the king let go of Attolia's wrist in order to catch the robe at the elbow and pull her closer. (KoA p. 176)