I decided to cook and burnt the whole kitchen
Q!Sneegsnag AU-
After months of being hidden in Philza's house with the Death Family, a big sleepover with the eggs happen an Sneegsnag gets invited upstairs by Tallulah. Unsure at first, he got quickly accepted into the party with the other eggs and they all spend a great night all together.
But things go wrong when in the morning when the father of Pomme, Etoiles, comes back early.
Etoiles enters phil's house slowly without turning on any lights because it was still early for the kids. He was coming to pick up Pomme, she was sleeping in the living room with the other eggs but there was.. Something else. It was dark but it glowed a yellow-green tint which was the only light in the room apart from the dim light from the front door Etoiles was still standing in. It took him a few minutes before recognizing that stranger.
"... Sneeg?"
Etoiles didn't mean to say it out loud, even if it was just a whisper. It didn't wake anyone up, and thankfully not even the sleeping creature. It shocked Etoiles to see it here. Why is it here? How did it get here even? And what is it doing with the kids?
Etoiles saw the moth as nothing but a new threat, a threat he thought was neutralized long ago. It needs to be dealt with, and fast. He uses the advantage he has to silently go up to the sleeping corpse that was loudly breathing amongst the kids. Etoiles questioned why the eggs looked so at ease with the creature.. Probably mind control he thought, not knowing the threat's actual abilities. As he was standing in front of the creature, Etoiles was shocked at how degraded the features of his old friends were.. Even asleep, it looked restless. Agonising. Maybe it needs to be dealt with, to appease it at least. Or maybe it's just Etoiles justifying what he's about to do.
He takes his sword and raises the weapon with his two hands, aiming where its heart would be. But he hesitates. He's about to kill his friend.. Again. But it has to be done. Like last time.
A tear goes down his cheek before the powerful blow he executes onto the thing...
But he took too long to act. The creature awoke suddenly and grasps the blade of his former friend, a fluid the same color as his slight glow drooling down from the steel onto the tore down shirt it was wearing.
The creature looks down upon the blade, still being pushed down with great strength, before looking up at the face of his assailant. Its glowing eyes widen. "**You.**"
Etoiles pulls out his sword before backing up, his face marked with fear. The scene awoke the children, all rising up from the floor in confusion. Pomme gasps, seeing one of her father raising his sword towards her newfound friend, and puts herself between the two adults. Etoiles stays steady as the monster rises up as well, hiding his shock seeing all the children hiding behind it and his own daughter protecting it.
"Pomme, move." Etoiles orders his daughter, a slight shake in his voice as emotions and memories swarms his mind. The young girl refuses and checks her head with endeavor. It destabilizes Etoiles even more despite his best attempt at staying composed.
"Get away from it! It's not your friend! Run away, now!" Etoiles shouts at the children, in an attempt to get away from the fight that's about to break out.
A failed attempt, it leaves them only confused and scared. The little Pomme still standing against her father, but then gets startled by a cold hand on her shoulder. Sneeg's hand lays gently on her shoulder, as she looks up he signs to her a single word: "Leave".
She was resilient at first, but realised from the look in her friend's eyes that he wasn't going to falter, like her father. She's worried. She wants to do more. But decides to stay behind.
That sudden switch from his daughter comforted Etoiles' idea that the thing is controlling the children. Angers starts rising up, his sword starting to get unsteady from it. "What did you do to them." Etoiles spits out.
"You have some nerves to question me after trying to take me out in front of your own child." It speaks, you could feel its agony through its soft deep voice, but it wasn't enough to hide rage.
"Answer the fucking question!" He shouts.
"I'm not answering shit with a sword at my throat!" It answered.
"Then die already!"
Etoiles rushes with his blade at his enemy, but too slow to get his foe as it dashes out of the way. He keeps swinging his sword at it, each blow as powerful as the last, but still too slow.
The children scream out and try their best to avoid the fight, hiding where they can. The creature noticed as a vase broke next to one of the children, too dangerous. It avoids another blow before punching the fighter in the stomach, a blow so powerful it made Etoiles go flying out the front door breaking it in the process.
Etoiles rolls onto the grass before being stopped by a tree, holding his stomach and heavily breathing in pain.
The scene unfolds in front of the newly arrived parents, Badboyhalo, Vegetta, Fit, Jaiden, Tubbo, and Acau. They all run towards Etoiles, still grunting in pain from the attack, trying to make him stand up and checking up on him. Etoiles faintly points towards the front door and says "The.. Eggs." Two words that made them u-turn towards where he was pointing.
Their eyes widen when a monstrous hand firmly grips the wall of the entrance, even fracturing it by the strength and claws of the creature. What comes out of the dark of the house makes them all pull out their weapons, even shaking in fear. What struck the most was the decaying flesh on its body, its antennas and mouth drooling what looked like fluorescent acid, the glowing eyes of a beast, and most importantly: rage.
It goes into the sun, hardly standing on its feet as if it exhausted itself from that blow. It took it a moment to get at ease with the strong light and regain its stamina, then it spoke again. "That wasn't supposed to happen.."
"What are you." Jaiden says out of fear.
"Where are our children??" Fit shouts, his sword ready to strike it down. They all started shouting at the thing in rage and fear for their kids.
The children were all still hiding inside the house, daunting getting out in fear of being in trouble.. Or being in the middle of another fight. The creature knew it wouldn't get away easily from this situation, but whatever happens, it won't let itself go down easily. I took a step forward and got immediately shot at by Jaiden's bow, an arrow it avoided in a flash and ended up into a frame in the house. The children screamed at the shattering glass falling onto the floor, and this was the final cue for the adults to mistake the situation as a kidnapping. It was now too late for any negotiating.
"YOU WON'T TAKE OUR CHILDREN AWAY!!" They all shout before rushing towards their common foe.
"For fuck's sake.." The creature grunts before swiftly avoiding all of their sword attacks and arrows all around the garden, a ballet of steal and shield lead by a cryptid too fast for all of them.
"Phil, where the fuck are you?" It whispered to itself, inaudible for its enraged foes who are screaming and loudly grunting at it in exhaustion and frustration as all their attacks misses.
However, this was a moment of inattention for the creature as a sword slashes through its skin and the sound of flesh knocking down onto the floor stops everyone. Its left arm was cut off. It shouts in pain before retreating into a tree with a fast wing blow, as it holds its bleeding clean cut bit of flesh.
"Take it down!" They all scream as the archers aim their bows at the panting beast. It's all slow to the creature but its defensive tactic was what got it in the end, and now it's about to be shot down. This is all too familiar for it, as its past failures comes back up to it, but something new is going to happen this time.
As the arrows fire, a black figure goes down in front of it, black feathers fly all around the creature as it witnesses the arrows get cut in half in a single slash. The figure lands and makes everyone back up.
"**That's enough!**" Phil's voice rings out, silencing the whole scene as he stands in the middle of the scene.
Two of the children run out of the house and hug their father, almost tearing up. The adults look at each others, extremely confused and letting their weapons down, everyone except Etoiles and Jaiden, still en garde.
"What in the world do you think you're doing??" The crow lectures them, his voice filled with pure anger.
"Uh protecting our children from that thing?" Tubbo answers confused, "I even cut its arm out I popped off-"
The young adult gets cut off by Philza's enraged stare as he realizes he might not get praised for his work.
"What's wrong with you, Phil?? That thing is a monster! It's gonna kill our eggs if we don't kill it first!" Vegeta spits out, still angered, and is followed by the other parents.
"That 'thing' is my friend. He wouldn't hurt the eggs!" Phil spits at them, completely outraged at their behaviour. The two children nod at what their father says, speaking from experience.
The other children start running out of the house, crying, and the parents embrace them in relief, all of them except Etoiles who remains in position despite being pulled by his daughter. He keeps glaring at the agonizing moth, who stares back with the same rage and thirst for revenge.
"Everyone leave my fucking lawn before I kick you out myself." Philza orders them still enraged.
"Don't expect us to come back, Phil. Not with that thing around. Never even!" Badboyhalo spits out while sobbing and still tenderly hugging his son. "I do not know what's up with you and keeping dangerous beasts next to your own kids, but I am NEVER letting you take care of MY SON!" The demon spits out before running off, followed by the other parents that now think the crow has gone insane.
Etoiles still stood facing them, he was ready to take down the beast no matter what. But then, he remembered the determined look in his daughter's eyes. He recognized himself in that look, maybe she copies him too much for her own good. He breaks eye contact, looking down onto his cowardice, then puts away his sword. Etoiles takes his crying daughter's hand before leaving. He stops at the edge of the small island Philza lives on and says: "I'm warning you Phil. If I see him again, I will not hesitate." He then jumps down with Pomme before gliding away.
The crow sighs out of relief before his moment of peace gets immediately stopped by the creature falling head first onto the floor. Blood loss got the best of it.
"SNEEG!" All three circle around the moth that was finally showing signs of weakness and distress after multiple month of getting onto the island.
Phil picks him up and drags him into the house in a hurry. It all starts to fuzz out for the beast as it grunts and whines out of pure pain. The last thing he could hear is a single sentence by his friend in a panicked yet comforting tone:
"Don't worry Sneeg, I'll take good care of you mate!"
Ughh how tf did i write all that


















