#qowp

@indistinct-echo thank you so much for sending me such kind things to wake up to????? it means the absolute world to me and i clutched my phone at my chest for a bit like a complete dork 🥺🥺💕💕💕💕💕

first of all i absolutely didn't think you were rude!! we all make decisions on what we will and won't read based off summaries and tags all the time! it makes me so happy that you gave it a shot, and to hear that it was based in part on the people who already got sucked in and my responses to them makes my heart sing!!!!!

i can't believe how high of a compliment you're giving me with the realistic parts pointed out? you forgot it came from my brain!!!!! what the fuck i am going to be riding this one for months at least. it's something that i try really hard for, so to hear i succeeded, at least a little bit.... thank you. i especially handle chris with care, because he's the type of person who can easily come across as a caricature if someone isn't grounding him in some ways.

the gender and sexuality intersection is something i've dealt with in my own life several times and seen others struggle with as well, so it was really important to me that i include it. it is the easier route, maybe, to keep both characters in some kind of spectrum instead of having one rigid, binary, in one place - but that's not the story i wanted to tell.

when you're nonbinary and/or trans, dating can be a minefield. when you date and you're on the ends of the kinsey scale instead of in the middle, being attracted to people who aren't in your idea of binary can be difficult as well. i never wanted to make phil oblivious or aggressively denying his own feelings, and i certainly didn't want him to take the easy road and put dan in a box simply to feel more comfortable in his own skin. i wanted to explore how it feels to be in the delicate position of questioning yourself and feeling guilty and i hope it's resonating with people.

obviously i won't keep the indecision up forever, and i also don't intend to strip my phil of his gay identity. finding compromise with a potential partner can be necessary sometimes, when you're Dating While Nonbinary and/or Trans, but phil's main problem is that he's not talking to the person he should be about this - yet.

AHHHHH thank you!! so my thinking was that my dan would want to go by something that wasn't Hashtag Gendered or their actual name when in online spaces, for reasons i'll get into in-text!! also, as they get to know each other, i'll be transitioning into using dan later in the story - just in case anyone is put off by me using winnie, it's not going to be forever!