#qntmgg

𓈒𓏲 𓈒 ݁ pairing: student!Taesan x reader

𓈒𓏲 𓈒 ݁ summary: was it the sound of the rain or his heart that was louder? While you were busy with getting annoyed at the rain season, the black haired boy from next class was busy writing about you inbetween textbooks and homework.

𓈒𓏲 𓈒 ݁ word count: 5,716

𓈒𓏲 𓈒 ݁ song: i hate sundays

reblogs, comments and writing advice are very welcome :D

You looked outside your classroom window. Your history teachers voice has become a muffled noise in the back of your mind, while the rain sounded louder and louder each second. The rain has been pouring heavily since morning and puddles have been formed in the big holes on the muddy school yard — which your school didn’t care enough to look after. It looked like it was about to dawn. The clouds were hanging very dark over the whole city. Rainy season has begun again and today marks the second time you haven’t brought your umbrella. Your eyes fell onto the black fabric peeking out from your backpack. You wondered where its owner disappeared to.

A few days ago, when it was raining just like this, you were waiting under the porch roof of the school entrance for the rain to finally slow down. It was only a minute that you were standing under there, when you decided that it was already too long. It was not long until your training would begin. Your kickboxing coach was always the one to complain and would make you do fifty pushups whenever you were late. You pressed your lips into a thin line, a little rain never hurt anybody. You pulled on the straps of your backpack to pull it tighter against your body and started to run.

Not even a second after you set your foot into the rain, you got yanked back by your backpack under the porch. Confused and taken by surprise at what happened you yanked around, ready to fight whoever wanted to start anything with you, only to see a tall, black haired boy standing in front of you. The sleeves of his grey oversized hoodie were rolled up and his hair looked like he had been sleeping through the last few periods. In his hands was an umbrella. It was the boy from the class next to you. You loosened up your fists and instead now waited for him to talk. He stretched his hand with the umbrella towards you and grabbed your hand to put it into yours.

“You need it more,“ was all he uttered before he ran off too quick for you to even properly thank him. You looked at the black umbrella in your hands. Since then you had kept it.

The rain pounded heavier onto the window and your eyes shifted back outside. It didn’t seem like it would stop anytime soon. His umbrella has been with you now for a week, always carrying it in your bag in case you’d come across him. You wanted to thank him personally. The umbrella came in handy more times than once, even though you had waited to give it back to him. But since the day he ran off, he didn't come back to school. You had asked around his class and the people you thought he was close with, but nobody seemed to know when he would come back to school or why he disappeared in the first place.

He wasn’t anyone you knew, at least not in the way you’d know a person. He was quite the silent guy, but not because he was particularly shy or awkward, but rather because his mind was everywhere but the present. His song lyrics were scattered everywhere around math equations and in history text books. Whenever he got a creative splurge, he jotted it down without hesitating a second. But that was all you knew of him. Your best friend had a phase where she had a crush on him for a few weeks. And all she could really find out about him was his obsessive creativity. She lost interest quickly and attached herself to another guy who showed more interest in her.

You tried to recall his name. Taeyang? Taewan? You weren’t sure if he even knew your name. And you weren’t even sure why he had thought you’d need the umbrella more. Did he know about your training? As you drifted further into these thoughts, the muffle that was the teachers noise gradually got louder. Until you could hear him clearly repeat what he had been repeating the last few times.

"Y/n.”

You straightened yourself up, afraid that he has been asking a question and now was expecting an answer. "Y/n did you hear what I asked?” You knew you were done for. The history teacher would never let something like that slip up and just ignore it. "…no,” you responded a bit uncertain. "I asked if you could get more chalk from the teachers office please?”

Like something heavy fell from your shoulders, you immediately pushed yourself to stand up. You were glad it was a simple request instead of a quick quiz.

The hallways were quiet except for the heavy rain outside. Everyone was still in their classes. Not even a few hours later everybody will flood the hallways to get to eat their lunch as if a war breaking out. You were glad that you got to stand up because you were almost falling asleep. It was barely the first period and the night before you may or may have not been awake for too long just to binge a show. The teachers office was way at the centre of the first floor, so enough time to kill before you had to force yourself back into the boring hell that was history class.

You walked down the stairs practically dragging your feet. The rain motivated you even less for anything. You had no willpower for school. No willpower to go train later. No willpower to even get chalk except for the fact that blood flowed finally through your legs. You yawned and massaged your left shoulder while walking. Until your ears picked up a sound.

The closer you got to the teachers office the clearer you could hear it. The sound of shouting. You turned around towards the voices and got closer to the door that led outside.

In the middle of the rain were standing a group of four students in a circle. Three of them holding an umbrella and one of them held a second above another girl. You quickly realised who they were just as you had grabbed the door handle. There were some students in this school who did not care about anything at all other than trouble. Or simply put: Bullies. Everybody knew not to mess with them or else you would be next on that list.

You assumed they were missing classes to smoke and were just about to let go of the door handle, when one of the taller girls moved to the side and you could see that there was actually someone in the middle of the circle. It was that tall, black haired, boy you have been looking for desperately to finally give his umbrella back.

He didn’t look insecure nor did he look like he cared what they were doing. It looked like he just wanted to get this over with and disappear into the classes. As if he didn’t even listen to what these girls were shouting about.

You silently opened the door and immediately the noise of the rain enveloped you. The girls shouting were still loud enough to not get drowned out by it. You were standing still half inside, only peeking through the door. From here you could see that there was countless sheets of paper scattered all over the ground. All of them now wet and muddy. Besides the paper it seemed like also various content of a backpack lying around.

The girls were laughing and shouting. One of them bent down to grab a sheet, "Taesan-ah … now why won’t you sing when we ask so nicely of you?”

Right, that was his name, you thought. Another girl got closer to him, obviously the one who seemed to lead this whole ordeal, "Taesan will you sing now? You could at least do that for the girl you rejected you fucking looser.”

You hadn’t realised that a simple boy like him was so popular among the girls in the school. Had you wondering why you haven’t heard of him sooner.

Then suddenly the crack of a slap echoed through the whole school grounds. The girl had slapped Taesan hard enough that his lips skin broke. Slowly blood pooled at the corner of his mouth as everybody watched silently. Taesan brushed the wound with his thumb and then scoffed silently. Your heart stopped a second with shock. Before you knew it your legs were already carrying you over to the group. Your legs acted before your mind. The rain completely drenched you the second you were out. You grabbed the girl by the roots of her hair and she immediately started screaming. If your coach were to see you, he would immediately throw you out of his classes. His number one priority for attending the lessons was to never ever use your strength for violence, only as a self defence. But this did count as self defence, right? The other girls all dropped their umbrellas and jumped on you. Before they could grab you, you yanked the other girl by her hair to the floor. The mud squelched with her impact and she screamed. Not out of pain but out of annoyance.

Your eyes moved to Taesan who just stood there.

"What the fuck bro?! Run!", you yelled at him.

He sure didn't seem like someone who would join you in hitting these girls. Suddenly someone from behind you now grabbed you by your hair and started pulling you with her. You kicked your leg in between hers as good as you could and pulled her own leg forward, which lead both of you now to also fall into the mud. You took this as your oppurtunity and wanted to run away together with Taesan, but the girl that had slapped Taesan grabbed you by your ankles and made you fall again. You immediately started kicking the girl. One landed right into her stomach and she cried out. She lifted her fist to hit you. Her punch landed straight to your nose and a sharp sting led all the way in between your eyes, though it was nothing like the punches you were used to on your kickboxing lessons.

"What the hell do you think you girls are doing!?", someone yelled all over the yard.

Not even the rain could conceal the sound of the history teachers voice. Everyone froze in their place.

⊹‧₊˚☂ ‧₊˚⊹

The rain fell heavily onto the roof on top of you. Your clothes were completely drenched and muddy, your hair was a tangled mess and the blood that had flowed from your nose was still remaining as a smear. You were sitting in your own wet underwear and every little movement was just uncomfortable. The rain didn’t even stop for a second, but its hiss was calming you the most right now. The sound of all the raindrops blending together and creating that white noise. The way it drowned out every other sound.

Except for the shuffling next to you that disrupted the steady noise of the rain. It was Taesan sitting right next to you on one of the benches underneath the school roof. Your history teacher had wondered where you had been at and when your classmates pointed out the window he rushed down. He ended up sitting both of you here so he could handle the other group.

Taesan had the sheets of paper in his hands that were scattered around the ground and it looked like he was trying to see if he could save any of it. His hair was sticking to his forehead from the rain and continued to drip onto the paper. He didn't seem at all like it bothered him with what had just happened mere moments ago. You both were sitting in silence, each in your own world.

Until you broke the silence, "Is this why you haven’t come to school?"

Taesan turned towards you surprised, "What?"

"The girls I mean."

Taesan looked back at the paper. You could see endless scribbling on it and could tell it were his song writing splurges.

"A slap isn’t enough to put me off school. I am not that weak, I was just sick."

"That’s only because you ran off that day without your umbrella," you complained.

Annoyed, you tried to wipe more of the dried blood under your nose away with the back of your hand. "Why did you even give me your umbrella in the first place? I was fine without it."

"You had your training though," he blurted out.

"How do you know that?"

Taesan swallowed hard and put one of the sheets to the side. He continued to inspect the rest. "I don’t think it’s that much of a secret."

You rubbed the blood of your nose that was now on your hand away on your skirt. You absolutely felt nasty with every fibre in your body, but unfortunately you were not allowed to leave before your history teacher came back. Your eyes shifted first to him and then to both your feet. The mud stuck greatly to the fabric of his white chucks. You wondered if he would get the stain out.

"Thank you though … for giving your umbrella to me", you said silently, "I had been waiting the whole week for you to give it back. I have used it several times more though, sorry."

Taesan swallowed again, his ears slightly turning red, "That’s fine. I didn’t need it anyway." His eyes still glued to the sheets.

You tried to brush your hair down a little, which was significantly easier with the amount of water in it. "Your name is Taesan, right?" He looked at you startled. He did not expect you to know his name. You brushed down your skirt, "I’m y/n." "I know … nice to meet you," he blurted and cursed to himself inwardly for sounding so rude.

Then there was silence again. But not the awkward kind. You were sitting in mutual pleasant silence and just listening to the sound of the rain on the roof and the wet sounds of Taesan's sheets. You wondered for how long it had been going, this thing with the bullying. If you could even call it that. Taesan did not look at all like he was bothered. Though at some point it would get annoying. No it definitely was bullying, he literally had his lip split with a slap today, you reminded yourself. Was it really because of a simple rejection? He looked like he took it well.

You stole a glance at his lip. It had stopped bleeding but the wound still got to hurt. He looked so unbothered by what had happened, that you wondered if he even remembers the wound. Unbothered, apart for his song sheets. Were these years worth of work? It could also simply be all written in the span of a week. You never know with him. Your eyes followed the way he tried to rub mud off a corner. Whatever the time span, it must hurt to loose these things one worked hard for. You fumbled with your hands, thousand question you had for him but too afraid to ask any.

"Do you need help with cleaning them?" You asked.

Taesan looked at you silently and before he could answer you leaned over him and grabbed the uninspected sheets that laid on the other side of him. Taesan's mouth opened and closed before looked away from you, craning his neck so you couldn't see his face. The sheets stuck to each other whether it be from the mud or from the water. Taesan stole a glance at you. Your hair was still a mess and the blood you had rubbed off still remained as a slight stain. A small smile crept up his lips and he turned to look at his sheets again, desperately trying to conceal his smile.

You suddenly gasped as you held a ripped sheet of paper in your hands, "Oh my god im so sorry"

You handed it to Taesan feeling absolutely like you were giving him more work than helping him. He just shrugged his shoulders and crumpled the paper to a mush and set it to the side.

"No worries I didn't like that part anyway," he said with a smile.

You tried to dry off the rest of the sheets by patting it with your already dirty shirt. It was the only thing dry enough to do so. The rain still hadn’t stopped and you both were still sitting with that being the only noise.

You cleared your throat before asking him as if you didn’t already know, "What are you writing about? It’s lyrics right?"

Taesan nodded as he took a picture of one sheet with his phone and also mushed it to a wet blob., "Nothing in particular. Just this and that."

"Have you ever finished a song? Im doing my best not to read the actual text, but would you mind if I read through some stuff? Im really curious," you asked.

Taesan looked at you and shook his head, "No that’s fine."

Something bothered him though. His consciousness was screaming at him but he couldn't exactly pinpoint as to why. He knew there was nothing controversial he had written. So why did it feel so weird allowing you to read through it? It must be his embarrassment taking over him. His lyrics were something personal only to him, even if he said they were only about this and that. So it would naturally feel more intimate than he intended for you to read through them. He shook that feeling off and tried to concentrate on the sheets in front of him instead of getting distracted by the fact that you were slowly unwrapping each of his layers, discovering him more. In a way it excited him, adrenaline pushed through his veins. He had never showed anybody his lyrics. It really was that anxiety inducing rush that his brain tried to warn him with.

No

Taesan’s eyes widened as he quickly turned and ripped the sheets from your hands. But it was way too late.

You did not expect to find a sheet with your name messily written in the corner. At first you thought you had read wrong, but then your eyes caught onto it again. Your thumb had brushed over it, maybe the water and mud messed up the writing? But it was undeniably your name. Before you could read through the lyrics, Taesan had already grabbed the sheets for himself.

He was standing now, his grip on the sheets was hard. It started to tear the paper a bit since it was so wet. His ears took an even redder shade and it slowly crept towards his cheeks. Nothing of his composed demeanour was present anymore. He fidgeted with the corners of the sheets, almost ripping them off. His eyes closed as if he contemplated to just disappear.

Taesan wanted to die right this moment. His brain tried to warn him, but he didn't listen. He wanted to dig a hole and lay into it. Then he wouldn’t have to face you anymore. He wouldnt have to explain. Wouldnt have to see you ever again. He opened his eyes. He had expected that you had already walked away. He had hoped you had already walked away. But there you were, still sitting and looking at him. Your unsuspecting eyes stared back at him, a slight tilt in your head like you were trying to grasp the situation. His heart was about to beat out of his throat, but maybe it was just that he was about to throw up. He hadn’t been this embarrassed in years.

It was supposed to stay a simple fleeting crush. Nothing heavy. Your friend had been coming a lot of times to his class to talk with the other girls. Though it would be a lie to say he didn't notice her glances towards himself. And you were with her too. You were always with her. The day you entered their class for the first time he noticed the shift in energy you caused. You didn't even seem to notice, but he quickly caught the fresh of air you brought with you. A simple fleeting crush he told himself several times. Until he caught himself searching for you whenever your friend came. Until he caught himself thinking about you when you weren’t around. Until he caught himself how his lyrics changed. Until he caught himself how his lyrics started to focus on you. Until he caught himself wondering about you when you and your friend stopped coming. Until he caught himself being so utterly into you, he couldn't call this a fleeting crush anymore. But he swore to himself to never let you know of this. You never had exchanged a single word, how could he ever explain this feeling to you?

You opened your mouth to say something, but Taesan interrupted you. It wouldnt take long for you to figure out his heart, not to mention if you already did. So he better got off his chest what he always thought.

He took a deep breath and grabbed the sheets harder, "You know I actually- uh I … back then I actually-"

"Now let’s get you both inside", the history teacher interrupted Taesan before he could even properly form a sentence. It was harder to simply say what he wanted to say than he thought. Especially for a person knowing his way with words.

Taesan took this as an opportunity and ran off into the rain. His backpack and the rest of the lyric sheets left behind.

⊹‧₊˚☂ ‧₊˚⊹

Your eyes were focused outside again. This time not so absentmindedly though. Your name in his handwriting fleeted through your brain the whole time distracting you from everything. You tried to think of every explanation possible, but there was only one. Maybe he had written your name out of coincidence on that sheet? Maybe he wanted to ask about you for something? Maybe he knew about your kickboxing and wanted help with the bullies? You thought back at his red glowing ears and the way his hands fumbled with the paper. And that he ran away. You shook your head. You couldn't simply jump to that conclusion. You wanted to talk to him, ask him about it. But you weren’t sure if that would be really the best choice.

"Y/n?" Your best friend ripped you out of your thoughts.

You didn't even hear the bells ring. Everyone already left except for a few student who had brought their own lunch.

Minju nudged you, "What happened? Why are you so quiet? Get up you need your fibres and protein."

You were unsure if to tell her yet what happened without being sure yourself. When the teacher brought you back, the whole class was terrified about your looks. Even though your hair had been brushed and the blood wiped off, remains of it still lingered on your shirt and the mud still clung to everything as well. And Minju couldn't even ask about it. You pointed with your head at Taesan's bag you took with you since he ran off.

"Do you remember Taesan? Who you had followed around for a while?"

Minju nodded and sat down. You had put the rest of the lyrics in his bag. It was tempting to read through them in case you came across another one with your name. But you couldn't bring yourself to do it.

"Well he got into a fight and I had to save him out of it. He got sent home so I have his stuff. That’s all."

You were eventually gonna tell her. You just needed to be sure yourself.

"So Taesan is finally back at school?", she asked.

You nodded. She knew about the way he left his umbrella with you. Right, his umbrella too. Why did he give it to you?

"Go eat with Yunah this time. I will try to figure out how to give his stuff back," you said and stood up to grab his bag. You put his bag on and took the umbrella out of your bag. You had hope that he returned to his class.

You pushed yourself through the students rushing to go eat something until you finally stood in the door frame of his classroom. But his desk was empty. Next to his desk were two of his friends chatting. The blond one was sitting in his chair while the shorter one leaned on his desk. The blond one explained some story of the past as he waved his hands around. Both unaware of what had happened.

You turned around again and walked back to your own class. It was the same thing with the umbrella all over again. But you were determined to not give up. You would try to come to the class again and again until he was at school. And if he wouldnt come back, you would be making sure to this time even go to his house.

⊹‧₊˚☂ ‧₊˚⊹

The wait didn’t take long, because exactly the next day Minju ran up to you first thing in the morning saying how she saw Taesan enter the school building. You impatiently waited until the school bell rang for lunch break until you grabbed his stuff and ran towards his class. There he was. He was resting his head on his hand, tilted to one side and he was writing in a notebook again. Someone not knowing Taesan might think that he was actually a hard working and studying student, when he was probably just writing down lyrics again. You didn't want to question him, though your question burned inside you to be let out. You only want to thank him for the umbrella and you would leave quickly again. Nothing more.

A girl, which looked like the class president, sat in front of him and simply watched him write. She soon noticed you standing there and nudged Taesan to look your way.

He lifted his head. Something in him skipped a beat and he quickly slammed shut his notebook. The girl flinched, startled. He could feel his cheeks warm up again. You wanted to enter the classroom but he was quicker. He stood up and walked towards you. A few students pressed past you to get out of the class. It was loud all around you, just like it always was at lunch time. Everybody had enough of listening to teachers talking and instead wanted to get out. You smiled clumsily and were about to hand him his umbrella. But he grabbed your wrist and dragged you with him outside. The rain was heavy again, nothing changed since yesterday.

Despite the soft blush on his face, his usual confident demeanour has found its way back to him again. He didn't fumble with his hands, nor did he stutter while talking.

"Im really sorry about yesterday. I should have not just ran away," he huffed and ran his hand through his dark hair. This time he was wearing a hoodie as dark as his hair. One strand in particular fell over his eye and something about it made your heart jump.

Taesan's heart was about to fall out his throat with the way it has been skipping beats. He wanted to apologise to you for running away. And he wanted to apologise to you for writing lyrics about you. But he was such a pussy that he didn't even have the strength to immediately go to you. He wanted a few days to pass. And he most definitely didn't expect you to show up suddenly. You were fumbling with the umbrella in your hands and had his backpack on your back. Something about this view melted his insides. His stomach turned and everything started to feel like a burn on him. How could one fall so deeply when never having exchanged words?

Though you finally have. After yesterday it only became more clear for him. He had hoped when he got to know you, the crush would disappear. But it only grew stronger. The way you smiled and the way you wanted to help him. Your concern about your clumsy rip of the paper. The way you rushed to help him out of the circle. And he couldn't deny the fact that he found your bleeding nose lowkey attractive. Even if you were sitting there with your messy hair and muddy uniform.

But right now you stood in front of him with proper hair and a clean uniform. A small bruise was at the bottom of your jaw. His heart skipped another beat. And before he could bail out on telling everything again, he forced himself to blurt everything out.

"Im also sorry that you had to … read that. I shouldve not just written lyrics about you."

Your blood rushed through you high speed, you could hear it in your ears. So he did write lyrics about you. You wanted to answer him, but he continued talking.

"I don't think there is any way of me to convince you of otherwise and Im sure you have already figured out," he laughed nervously, " But I can’t help myself I think I like you more than I am supposed to." His soft blush cheeks turned an even deeper shade.

"I only want to let you know that I never intended to confess to you, really. I only tell you all of this because it’s what I should do the very least. You probably feel a bit repulsed. I wanted this to stay a secret forever. You were never supposed to find out."

You swallowed hard. You had always imagined confessions to be something big. Something shocking that you only came to know then at that moment. But hearing it now from his own mouth when you have already found out swirled your insides. You didn’t realise how much he liked you. It hurt you a bit to see how much he wanted to hide it. How much he didn't want to let you know. He looked away from you towards other students who wanted to sit outside and watch the rain.

You took a deep breath and stretched the umbrella out towards him. "I wanted to thank you again for giving me your umbrella."

You took the bag off your back and also handed it to him. "The other lyrics are in your bag. don't worry, I didn't look at them once."

You smiled at him as you buried your hands in the pockets of your sports jacket. There was the silence again. But this time you couldn't tell if it was an awkward one or a calm one. The noise of the rain helped to bridge the silence. You could hear the soft talk of the two girls further away from you talking about something while drinking juice, both in their own world and unaware of Taesan and you. Your eyes shifted towards the floor.

"You don't need to be sorry. Why should you be, when it’s your heart that decided. Who cares if you write lyrics about me?", you kicked a little pebble away and buried your chin into the collar of your jacket, " … I wish I could’ve read those lyrics though. I only had the opportunity to read my name before you grabbed it away like your life depended on it".

You snorted and looked up at Taesan. His face was unreadable so you pressed your lips together. Joking around was maybe not the best choice right now.

"What I am trying to say is that I don't mind being in your songs, or your mind in that instance. I only find it unfair that you already decide for me what is embarrassing and what not. And what im supposed to feel and what not."

You searched for his eyes but he was already looking at the other two girls again. He was afraid he would run away again if he looked at you longer.

"I want to find out too, how I feel. How could I already know if I haven’t got to know you when you had all this time to get to know me? I want to know everything about you too. You had a dirty early start at the race, while I only began now."

Taesan looked back at you. He couldn't believe the words coming out of your mouth. He was used to way worse. Probably one of the reasons why he didn’t wanted you to know. His heart skipped a beat when he saw the way you looked at him. He smiled and looked down at his feet.

"So it’s a race now?"

"You know what I mean.“

The bell rang to call the students back to class. He lifted his head and met your eyes. Both of you were smiling at each other. Taesan brought the back of his hand towards his mouth and cleared his throat before he forced himself to not smile all ear to ear. He nudged you and walked past you towards the door to go back to his classroom,

"I will make it my own mission now to annoy you with me until you know me good enough.“

You rushed after him to keep up with his long legs, “Try me. I don't think it’s is possible to annoy me.“

„Then let me serenade you with my songs“, Taesan suggested. You laughed, unsure if he really meant it.

He laughed and looked to the side so you couldn't see the way he was folding for you. „I am obviously joking. I am not that crazy.“

You shrugged your shoulders to mock him a bit, „Who knows. I think we already established i don't know enough about you.“

„Good that this will change from now on.“

The rest of the walk back to the classroom was silent, except for the rain pounding outside of the school. You could already get used to the warmth of his body next to you.

2026@𝔮𝔫𝔱𝔪𝔤𝔤