#pyroamiwrites

Nobody told him he shouldn't talk like that to people — especially to adults and teachers. That language like that wasn't proper etiquette, so he never fixed it.

And you were always the more polite type. Shy, but got along with almost anyone if they spoke first. Kind, chiding him whenever he told another kid to piss off. Pretty, as the years went by and you went from scraped knees and tangled hair to soft skin, girlish fragrances, and the delicate contour of your legs.

He swallowed thickly.

Your legs.

As you got older, you stopped wearing basketball shorts and switched to skirts, then short shorts, then slacks. Frankly, it was hard for him to look away from your thighs. They were plush and soft and ran up the curve of your—

He tore away his gaze from your bare legs resting over the blanket and focused on the TV screen, the fan, and the open window pouring with rain. Anywhere but your tempting skin.

Sae usually doesn't admit these kinds of things, especially not to you, but looks alone? He's astonished that not even one person ever tried hard enough to date you. You're smart, comforting, and nice to look at. If he were to settle down, he would do it with someone like you.

Of course, someone like you.

"I don't mean it like that," he murmured, fixing on your eyes instead. Pretty they were—all round and warm and focused on his. "You reject everyone who's interested in you."

Your index rubs your chin thoughtfully. "That's because..."

"Of your standards. Always on about your anime boys, huh?"

"That is so not funny, Sae!"

"It is a little funny. You're like Rin. He's almost finished his Junji Ito collection."

"Oh, now we're comparing me to Rin—"

"You collect figures and manga."

"They're pretty."

"They're anime boys."

"They're Tomoe, actually. Don't generalise."

"Tomoe is an anime boy."

"You were the one who watched Kamisama Kiss with me!"

"Hmph. Touché."

When was it? The summer before he left for Spain? You were prancing on about your ritualistic tradition of bingeing romance anime with him. There was Kamisama Kiss; Lovely Complex; NANA, which he had to stop because he hated Shoji; and his favourite, Ouran High School Host Club. The blonde male lead, Tamaki, always made him snort into his sleeve as a boy while you shook his shoulder squealing about it.

Anime like that was more up Sae's alley compared to Rin's fixation for horror and suspense, so he quietly cherished those days. Lying on the couch, watching TV in the summer heat, your frame on your stomach next to his, destroying a popsicle stick. It was a much better predicament than watching some porno his teammates had found on a beat-up DVD rental.

After all, he was with you.

You fiddled with your hands as the movie played on. Taxi Driver, for the third time this year. It was his favourite movie, but now that he thought about it, he never asked if it was yours too.

Was it?

You severed his thoughts with a question. "What was the anime you like right now, anyway?"

"The Apothecary Diaries. I like Xiaomao."

"You just like her cause she's like a cat."

"Meow."

You rolled your eyes at his quip. "I wonder what you think of Jinshi, then."

He paused. Sae always had a soft spot for the types of people with an odd backstory, much like Jinshi. It spiced things up compared to all the boring societal bullshit he deals with enough every day. "...I like him too. But he's a little dramatic for my tastes."

"You only like him cause he's pretty."

"Are you slut-shaming me or projecting?"

You snickered. "The former. Is he your type?"

"Not really? What do you think my type is?"

Waving your hands around, you mocked. "Someone hot with a nice ass."

He scoffed, but for some reason, he could feel his jaw clench. "So now you think I'm shallow."

You snorted. "...Yeah."

"Looks aren't everything, y'know. Pretty sure I go by vibe."

You snickered, your hand reaching into the bag of potato chips, his favourite snack that he was banned from eating. Damn you. "Uh huh."

You popped the chip into your mouth; a soft crunch was heard between your teeth, but all he could focus on was the plushness of your lips. He wondered if they felt as delicate as they looked. If they were as untouched as you said. How could that be possible? Look at you—

"Y'know that scene in The Apothecary Diaries where Maomao thinks his dick is a frog?"

He rubbed his cheek, snorting into his palm. "What about it?"

"Do dicks feel like frogs?"

Sae hadn't jerked off enough to remember, and he certainly wasn't going to check. Sighing, he said. "I don't think so? Mine doesn't."

"So why did she think it was a frog?"

"She's never felt a dick before. And it was probably the position. He was on top of her, after all."

You shook your head. "No, she was on top of him."

"Idiot. He was the one who landed on her."

As Sae reached for his phone before you could pointlessly argue about their weird pseudo-sex position, the sheets rustled and—

You climbed on top of him. Eyes wide and cheeks flushed, grinning like you proved something. Your arms were braced on either side of his head, your hair grazing the skin of his cheeks. And your knees—they were braced on either side of his hips, the urge to grab them all too real. Too sweet. Too good.

His breath hitched, magenta bangs poking his forehead as he murmured lowly. "What are you doing?"

Still, his large hands moved to rest on your waist, anchoring himself.

You reached for the phone in his hand, plugging in the password you knew by heart into the screen, fiddling with the phone.

You tilted the glass right before his eyes, it was that stupid frog scene. Maomao was on top of Jinshi, and you were unfortunately correct.

"See! I told you she was on top of him!" You grinned, pulling the phone away.

Before Sae could process what was about to leave his lips, he scoffed. "Are you sure you've never even kissed anyone before?"

"...What is that supposed to mean?"

Fuck.

He grumbled softly. "You're on top of me."

You scowled. "It's how the scene goes—a physical demonstration. And you're dead wrong; I don't feel a frog in this position."

"Cause m'not hard, stupid."

But if you kept yourself there any moment longer, he might be. His dick was already stirring to life in his sweats.

"Pfft— You aren't?"

"Very funny. You're a natural at this."

"At what?"

Sae didn't want to overstep; he really didn't. Ever since you were kids, he had always felt this weird sense of protection towards you. At first, it was the same protection he felt towards his younger brother, Rin, even though you were the same age and probably tougher than him. Then as he grew older and hit that age where some people were more than family, that protection grew into something different. Something familiar, yet completely foreign at the same time.

So he shouldn't overstep; he'd be a horrible, horrible man if he did. But your lips are curved so prettily into a proud smile. Your eyes, the colour and wrinkles of skin, stirred something down his neck and abdomen.

The tingle didn't stop there, blood rushing to his half-hard cock.

Shit.

He already moved to tuck your hair behind your ear, whispering. "Temptation. Wanna gain some experience?"

You paused, eyes blowing wide.

Shit.

The both of you recoiled from each other instantly. Sae had nowhere to run, really, but he threw his head back against the couch, hands twitching, deciding if he should let go of your waist or not. You, on the other hand, completely pulled back. In this new position, it seemed more like you were straddling him than just looming over him.

A flush crept up his neck, his hand moving to cover the lower half of his face. "That was a—"

"Geez, didn't know you could be so bold." You laughed, rubbing the back of your neck.

He blinked, hoping you were another hallucination and he was dreaming in the confines of the Real Madrid training facility. That you were just another illusion tempting him.

No, you were still there. This time, your eyes lit up.

"Hey, that's a great idea, actually!" You leaned in closer again, a bright smile plastered over your mouth as your breaths mingled.

He paused. One second. Then, the next one. His lips twitched expectantly, his cerulean gaze low-lidded and fixed on you.

"...What is?"

"Teaching me how to kiss."

Damn his biology, cock completely twitching to life at your wanton suggestion. "Wha... What?"

"Oh, come on; it's just a little kiss," You whined, nudging his shoulder.

Sae cleared his throat, quickly adjusting the waistband of his sweats. "No."

"You've already kissed like, so many other people. One more wouldn't hurt. And it's for educational purposes."

"There's a difference when I kiss other people," he whispered, his sensual gaze betraying his words. "It's that they're not you."

"Dude, am I that bad?"

Dude? His brows furrowed, his lip curling into a grumble. "Not what I meant."

"Then what?"

The space between you was so thin he could die. Let the couch swallow him whole, and let the hallucination die with him.

Hazy excuses and words scrambled in his mind. "It's just that... We're friends. And your mom wouldn't be exactly happy with me if she knew about this."

You shuffled in your position, hips lifting off his. "...My mom isn't here right now. And we're not kids anymore. I don't need my mom's permission to do things."

Sae inhaled sharply when you pouted, head tilting back and hitting the soft cushioning. Were you going to keep whining about it until he gave in? Pester him and keep pressing yourself against him? God, what if he were going to like it?

Then, you muttered. "...Fine. Not like I wanted to know, anyway."

Ever since you were children, Sae had always been the more disciplined one of you two. When he was renowned as a football prodigy, nutritionists and dietitians quickly came into his life, lecturing him about his dietary restrictions to maintain and grow his build. While you ate Happy Meals and devoured candy every week, Sae had to almost entirely let go of fast food, specifically his favourite—French fries. There was no doubt that he had to let go of many things to be perfect, but then he discovered that perfection was more than a flawed goal. Flawed philosophy. A lie.

But even if he wasn't perfect—nobody was—Sae could have at least shown some semblance of hesitation or discipline, especially when it came to you, someone who was oh so dear to him.

Instead, his fingers wrapped around your wrist and tugged you down, his lips brushing your cheek.

One breath.

Then, the second one.

And on the third, his other hand snaked to the back of your neck, the faint blades of baby hair standing up from his touch.

"I'll teach you," Sae whispered, something resembling a low whine pulling from his throat. "Nobody else can."

You swallowed thickly, eyes wide and pouring into his.

"Okay, I trust you."

His lips were twitching and breath uneven as you uttered the words. You might have been some sort of hallucination he imagined to get through the countless gruelling days in Spain. You might have been a fragment of his dream. Who cares? You were still so utterly divine.

After all, you were his favourite girl. His best friend.

Sae didn't want to overstep; he really didn't. But if you didn't learn ruin from him, then someone else would have to teach you. And he knew he was too selfish for that.

One breath. Then, the second one. And on the third, you closed your eyes.

And his lips pressed against yours.

You never thought you would find yourself in this kind of situation.

Sure, younger you had eyes. Sae Itoshi was famous and handsome and rich, but he was off-limits. He was your neighbour. And after Sae moved in Spain for almost three years, you were much closer to Rin than the distant boy since he barely responded to your letters and calls.

Getting involved with Sae would be a betrayal to your dear neighbour and pseudo-son, Rin. You once thought. Sae was annoying anyway.

But then his lips pressed against yours like you were something delicate, and the faint taste of strawberries and honey sent thrills of warmth straight to your core; any semblance of restraint you had melted away, pressing yourself against him firmer—needier.

Then, you pulled away, just enough to peer down at him. His magenta locks were all frizzled up from the cushioning, and his cerulean gaze was half-lidded and fixed on yours.

No, more like on your lips.

"Did I?..." You start, but he cuts you off with a chuckle. "That was just a peck, idiot. Open your mouth."

You blinked.

His cold thumb pressed softly against your bottom lip, pushing the fullness down just enough to part your lips.

"Open your mouth," he whispered again, lower, against your lips. "It feels better this way, I promise."

A soft whine escaped your throat as he pressed his lips against yours again, shocks of electricity shooting down your spine and abdomen. His tongue swiped against yours once, something you assumed was like asking for permission, and your lips completely sealed around his, pressing yourself against him further.

Your hands scrabbled at the collar of his white T-shirt as his tongue prodded in the wet cavern of your mouth. It was gentle, like he was testing if you'd pull back. And when you whined, his tongue dragged slowly over yours, his hands tangling in your hair.

"Mmm—" Sae drawled into your mouth. "Is this okay?"

You panted, your breath mingling with his. "Yeah, yeah—Sae—it's good. Feels good."

"Yeah?" He seared his lips onto yours again, tongue webbing out to rub the roof of your mouth, sending sparks of heat down your stomach. He pulled back again in a quick haze, lips brushing against yours. "Feels good, hm?"

"Feels s'good; is it always this good?" You mewled, pecking his lips before flicking your tongue over his bottom lip, gasping when his mouth parted.

One of your hands gripped his collar, the other cupping the back of his head, tangling between his soft magenta locks. A gentle prick disturbed your bottom lip, caught between his teeth.

It stung a little. And in a normal context, it would even hurt. But it felt so good—so, so good when the sting came from him.

His lips then descended to pressing wet kisses down your jaw, all the way to the column of your neck.

You moaned quietly. His lips were hot—suffocatingly hot to the touch. Burning, like a fire had scorched your skin, but instead of pain, it was bliss.

You felt his lips curl into a faint smile against your warm skin as you craned your head back, exposing more of your neck. Soft groans escaped your throat, your fingers curling hard into his shirt.

His lips settled in the junction between your neck and shoulder, pressing a soft kiss before biting down. Harder than before.

"Sae!—"

"First time it felt this good for me too." He murmured against your skin, slowly thumbing your hips all the way up your waist. "You sure this is your first time?"

A slight flush crept up your neck, turning your head away from him. "You don't have to try and make me feel better, y’know…"

"M'being forreal." He tilted his head to the side, cerulean eyes filled with something you weren't quite used to—mirth. His gaze kept following yours even as you tried to look away. "Don't believe me?"

You pursed your lips sheepishly, your hands moving to rest over his shoulders. "Not really. But I— It's kinda hot in here, isn't it?"

Maybe it was his wet, full lips, or the fact that his lashes were so close you could count the endless, luscious hairs. Maybe it was the soft tingle in your core that tightened with each lingering touch of his hands.

Then, he lifted himself up before gently pushing you off his lap. "You're nervous; I get it. It's because you're on top of me."

He loomed over you, a playful twinkle in his eyes so faint you wouldn't catch on if he weren't your best friend. An annoying kid you forced to be your friend.

Naturally, you pushed yourself back until your back hit the cushions. Blinking up at Sae, who stopped himself short when you lay down, your hand tugged on the hem of his shirt.

You knew what that meant; so did Sae. A silent plea for something more than kissing. A silent prophecy that if he leant down, he wouldn't be able to get back up again.

Fucking Sae Itoshi, the idea of that was too surreal. You knew he had experience, that being a prodigy meant plenty of beautiful men and women threw themselves at his feet. You knew that he lived in an entirely different world from yours for five years, doing who knows what out there.

Still, you wanted him. You wanted him bad.

You frowned. "...Sae."

"This is going a bit far, don't you think?" He said, eyes averting from yours.

"I thought you wanted to."

"...I do."

"Then why are you hesitating?"

"I'm not supposed to touch you like this—"

"But you already have," you cut in. "Why are you acting like I'm some kind of... some kind of nun?"

"Pfft— You kinda are."

"That's not even true!"

"You are really innocent, sweetheart. It's not a bad thing."

You bristled. Sweetheart?

"Sae, c'mon," You tugged harder, watching his jaw clench. "Please."

He muttered. "Don't say that."

"Please."

You tugged on him a little harder, but this time, he let himself fall over you, hands bracing on each side of your head.

He pressed his lips against your forehead once, the action more intimate than you liked to admit. Like he was afraid of breaking you.

"You do know what you're asking for, right?" He whispered against your temple, carefully moving to the shell of your ear. "I don't wanna pressure you into anything."

"I—" You paused, trying to ignore the shivers trickling down your spine. "I want this."

"Are you sure?"

"Sae," you whined. Was he teasing you again? Your chin tilted to face him, your gaze softening at his unsure one. It was so uncharacteristic of him. Completely unlike the impassive boy you grew up with.

"M'sure."

"Okay," he nodded, cheek softly nuzzling against yours. "You're in charge then."

You weren't so sure what he meant, but your eyes shut and carefully found his lips. His kiss was slow and carnal, nose brushing the side of your own and large hands snaking around your waist. He squeezed you so softly, as if it were afraid of your departure, and held you close. So close that his breath felt like your own.

Your hips lifted to accommodate his hands, sliding to paw at your ass. His tongue gently prodded in the expanse of your mouth, darting around before stilling just at the tip of yours.

A noise of confusion escaped your throat as you scrunched his collar.

Sae hummed, laughing quietly against your mouth. "C'mon, kiss me too. You wanted this, right?"

The thought made you squirm beneath him, hands gripping tighter. He gently grasped your wrists and redirected them over his shoulders, coaxing you further.

"Wan' you." You whispered, arms wrapping around his neck. "I do wan' you."

Your lips reconnect, this time slipping into the cavern of his mouth and rolling your tongue against his. The wet friction sent shocks of electricity between your legs. Your tongue prodded behind his teeth before licking the roof of his mouth.

"Don't get shy on me now," he whispered. "Get your tongue deeper."

Your tongue pushed deeper at his words. So warm. So nasty. So fucking good.

He hummed, lips sensually following the pace of your own, hands grazing whatever he could touch. His tongue dragged over yours to poke your inner cheek, laughing when you whined and pulled him closer.

You pulled away breathlessly, only disrupted from his lips chasing yours into one last, searing kiss.

"Sae—" You gasped.

He gently pecked your lips. "Sorry. Got carried away."

You panted, temple pressed against his cheek as you caught your breath. Your thighs rubbed together from the hot ache between your legs, sparking with each fleeting second.

"You're wet, aren't you?"

Your head tilted up, your eyes widening at him. "What?"

Sae was breathless and debauched, his lips swollen and wet from your own, magenta hair dishevelled from your hands, almost revealing the baby bangs he liked to hide after turning sixteen.

"Here," two fingers shakily slipped past to press against your clothed pussy. "Feels good, right?"

You squirmed, fingers clasping around his wrist. "T-That feels good."

"You want me to help you?" He panted, softly thumbing your clothed slit. "You can say no."

"No— I mean, yes."

You paused, eyes darting to the sheets instead of his curious gaze. "...Do you have a condom?"

He was at your place, after all. And frankly, you were gravely underprepared for this kind of situation.

"Idiot," he laughed, fingers hooking into the waistband of your shorts. "We won't be needing that for a while."

The chill of the AC hit your skin when Sae tugged your shorts over your ankle, fingers smoothing over your clothed mound.

"Hm," he mused, tapping his index over the wet patch of your panties. "You're really wet."

His digits were twitching over your pussy, hooking beneath the edge of the cotton fabric. Like the urge to push your panties to the side was killing him.

A flush crept down your neck, gaze settling on the sheets. "No—No shit."

He made a noise somewhere between a scoff and a laugh, tapping over a particularly sensitive part of yours—one stationed above your hole, twitching when he rubbed it.

Your hips jolted at his touch, his index slowly circling the beady sweet spot. "Mm!—"

Then, his hand pulled away, moving to the curve of your ass. With a gentle tug, he hooked your panties' waistband down. "Up."

Your hips lifted as he tugged away the last remnant of privacy you had. Any semblance of comfort washed away from the cold air and his lingering gaze, the fabric hooking over the same ankle your shorts were.

"Hey, relax." Sae clicked his tongue when you squirmed, his warm hand moving to rest on your knee. "Eyes on me."

You tried to listen, focusing on his collarbones, his shirt, and fragments of his messy hair, but nothing worked. You couldn't meet his gaze, not when he stared at you so intently. Not when he could see every part of you. Not when his fingertips moved to press against your entrance.

Was this really what you imagined fucking Sae would be like? Not like you had imagined it or anything, just out of curiosity. He was never open about his personal life, but it was obvious that there was a side of him you've never seen. The weird phone calls. The weird disappearances. Hearing him curse and belittle others was the normal kind of crudeness you were used to with Sae. It was no doubt he was gentler with you—softer with you.

So to hear him be so blatantly vulgar?

He inched closer, lips brushing against the shell of your ear.

"You say you want me," he started. "Then you do shit like this."

It was bewildering.

You fiddled with your fingers before finally tilting your head to face him, swearing you saw the faintest hint of a smile when he dipped the tip of his middle finger inside.

"Mm, good."

Something like a whimper escaped from your lips, unaware that you were actually able to make those kinds of noises. "S-Shit."

His brows furrowed as his finger gently prodded at your entrance. "You're—" Sae bit his inner cheek pensively, stilling his digits. "You're a little too tight."

You winced, feeling your hole stretch around his finger. "I-It hurts."

He immediately withdrew his finger. "You've touched yourself before, right?"

"Um, yeah? Not really, like this—"

Sae smoothed his hand along the underside of your thigh—an attempt to soothe you. But his eyes were wide and... chiding? "Why didn't you tell me that before?"

"Okay, well, I don't know how this works!"

"Oh my god." He sighed before sitting back. "C'mere."

You chuckled nervously. "To do what?"

"To do it yourself," he chided. "C'mon."

That's when you found yourself in an embarrassingly exposed position, settled right on Sae's lap, his knees stationed right between yours, spreading your legs.

"Can't believe you wanted to fuck before even masturbating..." He murmured, chin hooked over your shoulder.

You swallowed thickly, head turning away. So vulgar. "It's not m'fault I didn't know."

"It's not your fault. Should've prepped you better."

You huffed softly. "So why do I have to do it?"

"Because," his hand gently clasped over your dominant hand's wrist, snaking it down your exposed abdomen. "There's no way someone at our age hasn't touched themselves before."

"I have. Just not..."

"Fingering?"

Your ears burnt. "It hurts."

"Because you're not relaxed or turned on enough." He brought your index finger to rest over your sensitive bud. "This is your clit. Feels good to almost any kind of touch. Be gentle with it."

You bit your inner cheek, watching his hand guide you to rub your clit in slow circles. "I know what a clit is."

"...Nice to know that's the only thing you've touched in the past nineteen years."

Your head snapped towards his. "Hey!"

He snickered, ignoring your huff. "So, if you want to cum..."

His lips ghosted over your ear, whispering softly. "Touch here. Rub there. Doesn't matter. But you could always..."

A soft whine escaped your throat as his hand guides you down further, stopping right at your entrance. "Make yourself feel good here."

Before you knew it, your middle finger was already dipping between your folds and inside your hole.

"Oh my god," you mumbled, brows furrowing. "Sae."

He hummed lowly. "Like that, go slow. It's good, hm?"

"S'good." you murmured, your finger now entirely inside.

"Feels even better when you curl your fingers."

Your brow twitched at his words, following curiously. "Wha... Okay."

His lips trailed down to the spot under your ear, kissing and sucking on the skin softly. "What do you usually think about when you touch yourself?"

His hand tapped the back of your own as you panted. "You."

It came out quicker than you expected, and in all honesty, it didn't even register properly from all the haze. But it was weird that after every call, every time you met Sae, you couldn't help touching yourself later that night.

It was something about his drawled voice, or the contour of his skin, or the flawlessness of his lashes or the chisel of his jaw. Or maybe it was his body, sculpted from divinity itself?

His breath hitched at your admission, fingers twitching over your hand.

You whined, pulling your finger out to push it back inside, curling to hit a sweet spot that made your toes curl. "I always think of you."

Something stiff throbbed against your ass cheek.

Your breath caught in your throat. Then, he bit down on your neck. Harder. "Ow—"

Sae seared your lips in a fervent kiss—all tongue and teeth and the intimate squeeze of your waist. He drank down every noise you made, panting against your mouth, swirling his tongue along yours.

"Let me help you," he panted, shaky fingers moving to gently pinch your clit. "Need to help you."

You moaned into his mouth, hips jolting from his touch. "S-Sae."

"Two fingers, you can do that, right?"

Swallowing thickly, you panted over his lips as he pecked you. "Mm—"

"C'mon," he muttered, pressing wanton kisses down your jaw. "Gonna make you feel s'good."

You pressed your ring finger to your entrance, pushing in slowly, wincing. "Hurts, Sae."

"Shh," he hushed against your cheek. "You can take it."

His index and middle rubbed against your puffy clit in a desperate side-to-side motion. Brows twitching with each passing second, he panted heavily. Your hips lifted in shock, fingers instinctively curling inside you.

Oh, you hit that good spot. It was spongy and rigid and oh so sweet.

You moaned, head thrown back over his shoulder. "Ah..."

"That's—" he sputtered, fingers continuing their relentless attack. "That's your g-spot. Should feel different from the rest of ya. Should feel really good."

Wet noises filled the room as you pistoned your fingers in and out of your hole, bracing yourself atop your best friend. Even though he was talking in your ear, breathy and hot as he always did, nothing registered. Every sense you had was being replaced by the overwhelming sensation of sweet bliss, your jaw slack and eyes shut.

"Curl your fingers more. Yeah, like that, deeper. Shit, you're—"

You whimpered, hips jerking as he continued to rub and roll your clit. "Sae, think m'gonna do that thing where I... F-Fuck."

He let out a quiet whine against your shoulder. "You are?"

"Y-Yeah, aren't y-you supposed to be the expert?"

"Sh— Shut up."

Just as something hot and unbelievably euphoric was about to snap, his fingers pulled away, panting harshly over your shoulder.

You huffed, your brain foggy. "Wha... Why?

"Not yet," he muttered. "Not yet."

Before you knew it, he flipped you onto your back, hovering over you. "You sure this is your first time masturbating?"

He pecked your lips, descending to your chest, pressing soft kisses to your clothed nipples and down your stomach. "You're pretty good at it."

"Pretty good?" you murmured, jolting every time he kissed your stiffening buds. "Thank you?"

His low-lidded gaze flitted down to your drenched slit, lips spasming at the sight.

You frowned as he settled between your thighs. "Sae, no."

"No more?"

"No," you shook your head, hand scrambling to tug at his collar. "I didn't do anything for you."

"...You don't need to."

You huffed, spotting the tent in his sweats. "Don't lie."

"M'being serious," he grabbed your hand, pressing a hot kiss to your palm. "I want to do this."

You sputtered at his words, embarrassed that he was inching so close to your bare pussy. Panting, you whined. "Do what?"

"Eat you out."

"What? Oh my god, that is so—" you stammered. "So embarrassing!"

His hands smoothed over your inner thighs, spreading them apart. "No, it's not."

"Yes it is. Sae, get up!"

He huffed as you pulled at his collar again, his sigh blowing warm air over your wet folds, making you yelp.

"How about this?" He reached for the blanket urged aside. "You see a blanket instead of me. Way better, right?"

You huffed. "You say that like I don't want to see you..."

"Isn't that what that is?"

"I don't want you to see me!"

"But you're so pretty." He pressed a kiss right on your clit, making you jolt. "And so sweet."

Your ears burnt as he pressed another kiss on your slit and another on your entrance.

"Okay, okay. We'll use the blanket."

"Alright," he hummed, pressing one last kiss to your clit again.

"Fun."

It was weird, feeling the ghost of his breath but only seeing a broad figure under your blanket.

Your legs were spread over his shoulders, thighs marked with soft kisses and bites Sae spent minutes on perfecting, murmuring something almost biblical to himself.

Then, you felt his fingers spread your lips in a V-shape, letting your head fall back on the cushions.

One breath.

Then, the second.

And on the third, still, nothing came.

"What are you doing down there?!" You whined, heel digging into his defined back.

You were only met with silence, but from the hot wave of air, you knew he was annoyed.

You scrunched your nose. So typical of him.

Then, he spoke from under the blanket. Low and teasing. "Your clit is all puffy."

"...What?"

He leaned down, pressed his lips to the bud and whispered. "And you smell s'good."

Then, his tongue licked a slow strip from your weeping hole all the way to your sensitive bud. The entirely new sensation washing over you in ways you could never imagine, your teeth catching your bottom lip.

"Oh, fuck. Sae..." Your hand reached under the blanket, tangling in his magenta locks.

His tongue slowly swirled around your clit, switching to softer kitten licks, slowly bobbing his head. You whined, thighs clamping around his head. "Ah— t'much!"

Your thighs squeezed shut around his head, so close that your knees grazed each other and the sweat from his hair smeared against your thighs. Sae huffed and wrapped his lips around your sensitive bud, slurping it into his mouth harshly.

You moaned sweetly, cheek pressing against the cushioning. "F-Fuck!"

Finally, you loosened up enough for him to catch your thighs off guard. His fingers dug into the plushness and pushed them apart, all the way until your knees hit the cushions.

"Too much?" Sae hummed, spitting into your messy hole. "You're so dramatic."

Dramatic? He was the one seriously overwhelming you!

His tongue webbed out, swirling around your entrance before licking up your folds. Spreading your labia with his tongue in a firm, upward lick, soothing the fold with soft, barely-there kisses.

Then, he sealed his mouth over your entire pussy.

"Sae," you whimpered, fingers pulling his hair in warning. "Don't even think about it."

A soft huff vibrated against your folds, his snicker evident. His thumb gently rubbed your thigh like some kind of apology. Then, he sucked your pussy in one, harsh motion.

"Oh my god—" you cried, thighs struggling to close against his strong grip. "C-Can't!"

"Mm," he murmured against your folds, his tongue moving to swirl around your entrance again, the tip gently prodding its way inside. "You can."

Your fingers sharply pulled at his hair. "S-Sae!"

He grumbled, the vibrations sending tremors into your pussy. "Stop movin'."

"Can't," your eyes squeezed shut when his tongue pushed in, firmly licking your sweet spot. "Sae, I c-can't."

Sae's tongue withdrew, soothing your pussy with wet, apologetic kisses, lips pressing over your inner thighs. "Why? What's wrong?"

You panted, fingers still gripping his hair. "...I told you I can't."

"Can't what?" he hummed, thumb reaching to rub your clit in slow circles. "Cum?"

"Cum." Your cheeks burnt at the word. "No, I do wanna cum."

He panted harsh breaths against your thigh and pussy, the oxygen levels decreasing by the minute under the blanket. "You're pissing me off. You say wanna cum, but you can't take it?"

"H-How is that my fault?"

He grabbed the edge of the blanket, pulling it aside. His bangs were all sweaty and pushed back over the rest of his hair. Sweat beaded at his temples, some reaching down his neck.

And his lips quivered, his entire mouth drenched with your wet slick, smeared over his cheeks and nose. Sae huffed lowly, cerulean gaze focused on the cushions, catching his breath. "M'going as slow as I can."

"I-I'm trying to keep up with you."

He scoffed. "...Yeah 'course you are."

You huffed. "I don't like your attitude."

"Okay then," he retorted, eyes threatening to roll. "So stay still. I'm not using a blanket this time."

Your breath hitched as he settled between your legs again, fingers tracing circles over your hips.

"And," he hummed. "M'not letting you hide."

Before you could process what that meant, he steadied his hands over your hips and flipped you onto your stomach. You could only see the open window from this view. Not Sae. Not a blanket. Nothing.

Your feet kicked squeamishly, though it didn't help much. "Wait!— This is so embarrassing—"

His lips found the seam between your thigh and ass, pressing a soft kiss to the warm skin. "Hn, stop squirming."

"How can I?" You buried your face in your hands. "You can literally see everything and I wanna die—"

You were cut off with a soft moan, his thumbs spreading your lips to slurp up your dripping hole, tongue prodding into your hole. His fingers dug into your ass cheeks, groping it harsher—needier.

"Fuck," he groaned softly, kissing down your folds until he found your sensitive bud. He sealed his lips around it before sucking fervently, noises growing as you squirmed. "Fuck, fuck. You taste s'good."

He almost growled into your cunt, moving to press kisses to your ass cheeks, softly biting down on the flesh.

Your hand wrings back to grab at him—his shirt, his shoulder—to be met with a firm hand clasping your wrist. He pinned it to the couch as he leaned down again, lapping his tongue over and over at your clit.

He was breathing—panting so hard that his exhaling puffed air into your hole. "S-Sae!" You moaned softly into the cushioning. "Oh my god—Sae!"

Something warm tightened in your abdomen. It was hot and electric and aching to explode, just like the times when you'd touch yourself, but this was much more. So much more.

You panted into the cushions, soft moans and whines escaping you as he ate your pussy. He was relentless; he always was, but this was a different kind. Sae could do anything, say anything, but when he promised you pleasure and brought you heaven?

Holy shit, it was too much that you could go crazy any second now.

"Let me tell you somethin'," he broke your thoughts, murmuring as his tongue slid out of your hole. "When you feel something so good you think you'll go crazy. Say you're cummin'."

"I-I know what that is."You whined, seeing that sort of language in the porn you read and watched, but not exactly knowing when to use it. "I think."

He muffled a scoff against your cunt, switching to long, firm licks up your entire pussy. "Wow. Genius over here."

You felt the warmth spread down your stomach to your thighs and cunt and clit and everywhere, fingers clawing into the cushioning. "Okay! Okay, I'm... M'cummin!"

You could feel his brow quirk, lips ghosting over your clit. "You're what?"

You were close, so close to the pressure releasing. But now, your cheeks were burning because Sae couldn't help but bully you about sex language. "I'm... I'm—"

He smiled against your pussy, the curve faint but there, and wrapped his lips around your bud one last time, flattening his tongue and sucking harshly—so harsh you could see stars.

"M'cummin'!"

White dots skewed your vision, and you swore you had died just now, but the pressure released, getting licked softly from Sae's tongue.

But oh, it still felt so good after you came, grinding onto his wet muscle. "Ah, Sae..."

His tongue stilled as you ground on his face, fingers digging into your ass cheeks harder. "Now's the time you get eager?"

"Sh— Shut up." You whined as he freed your wrist. "Oh my god."

He began to lap again, a little softer but pleasing against your puffy clit. "Mm," he hummed. "You came this time."

"I already told you— I know what that is—"

He slurped your clit into his mouth, the sensation all too overwhelming for your current senses. "Ah!"

"I know you know. Just telling you." Sae said, pressing one last gentle kiss to your bud before pulling away.

You panted against the cushions, only now realising the drool pooling in your mouth. Your ass was still perched in the air, your whole body dripping from sweat.

Sae swallowed thickly at the sight, his own erection throbbing against the cushions.

He didn't want to overstep; he really didn't. Sae was your best friend. Someone your mom entrusted to you. Someone you'd watch romance anime with. Someone who purposely didn't laugh at your jokes, just to see you get angry,

But you tasted so fucking sweet. Your noises were so pretty, so alluring. He'd have to die before leaving his place between your legs.

And you kept arching like it was his responsibility to teach you. Touch you. Make you cum over and over until you couldn't think of anyone else but him.

And maybe as your best friend, the boy you knew since you were in diapers?

It was.

"One more." His hand moved to grope your ass cheeks again, flipping you onto your back. "Give me one more. I know you can. Just one more."

"Wha?... Sae." You whined, so clearly fucked out, not even bothering to glance at him.

"You can do it," he whispered, leaning down to press several shaky kisses to your wet folds.

"For me. C'mon."

BONUS!

The summer after you graduated high school, you found yourself back at home in Kamakura. The weather was scorching, sweat beading down your neck as you stared at the ceiling. Your feet were perched over the side of your bed, back pressed against your cool floor.

"Did you finish?" you murmured, eyes fixed on the ceiling. Sitting on the floor against your bed was Sae, who had come back from Madrid to spend the summer with family. Frankly, in the past three weeks he had been here, he had not spent one day with his family.

Well, maybe aside from his mom, but everyone liked Mrs Itoshi. Besides her, he always had some lame excuse to work out, go on a jog, meet someone, go to Tokyo, or spend time with you.

You didn't mind, really. It just meant summers were meant for Sae.

"Shut up, m'almost done." He said, checking off the boxes on his phone. He wore a black T-shirt, legs crossed in a pair of basketball shorts, accentuating the muscles he had been gaining over the past few years.

Was it weird to stare?

Your head tilted faintly, settling on his concentrated face. He had been getting pretty good-looking recently, a little more than you'd like to admit. Since last year, he's been pushing his bangs back. His bangs were cute—almost childlike, but him with this new style... It certainly brought out his blessed facial structure and his lashes. Also, the glowiness of his skin—

Oh my god, ew, that sounds so dick hungry.

And that was certainly not towards Sae Itoshi.

"Done," Sae tilted his phone towards you, a bright red sixty-four illuminating from his screen.

"What the fuck have you been doing in Spain?" You immediately propped yourself up, snatching his phone. "A rice purity of sixty-four?"

He shrugged. "Why would I tell you?"

"Last year when you came back, it was like, an eighty-seven."

"Things change."

"Whore."

Sae rolled his eyes, taking his phone back. "You'll get there one day."

You scrunched your nose as he petted your hair—outwardly affectionate, but you knew he was being annoying.

"I don't wanna be like you." You swat his hand away. "I am totally okay with my ninety-two. Totally okay."

He stared at you blankly. "...Riiight."

You whined, sighing. "Maybe I'm not, but will that day come any sooner?"

"Y'know, in order to get some, you have to...put yourself out there. Talk to people. Flirt."

"Oh, fuck off," you reached to pinch his side, grinning when he groaned.

"You're too old to be doing this."

"We're eighteen, dumbass."

He grumbled, efficiently moving four feet away from you. "Wonder who your first kiss is gonna be, or somethin'. I feel bad for him."

Then, Sae groaned again when you threw a pillow at his face.

Sae sat deliriously on a bench, chugging a bottle of water. His baby bangs were pushed back from sweat, accentuating the glistening slope of his cheek.

He huffed quietly as you stopped in front of him. "What do you want?"

"What time do we have to be at your house today?"

Sae shrugged. "I dunno."

Your nose scrunched in annoyance, plopping next to him on the bench. "Okaaay, then what time should I come home today?"

"I dunno."

"You're so annoying."

You reach into your schoolbag, unwrapping your sandwich from your lunchbox. Humming at the food, you stuffed the piece in your mouth.

Then, two cheery voices call out. "Hey, hey! We were looking everywhere for you."

Two of your friends stood in front of you, exchanging subtle glances and elbow nudges, wiggling their brows at you.

"Why are you here, hmm?"

"Oh!" you swallowed your first bite. "I was just asking Sae about our family meetup today."

Sae, who seemed to be observing the bugs on the ground, turned his head, lips pursing. "Hey, you got food all over you."

Then, his thumb came up to wipe the corner of your mouth, swiping his finger over your cheek.

"Ah— Stop doing that." You flinched, eyes darting to the girls in front of you.

He pulled back, long lashes fluttering at you. "But you're messy."

"Oh my god," your friends giggled. "Are you sure you're not dating?"

Your eyes widened, swatting away Sae's hand. "Ew, no! We are not dating. Never will date."

"Yeah, no," Sae sighed. "She's ugly."

Your eye twitched. Ugly?

You cleared your throat, the both of you nodding at your friends.

"See? Not dating," you said. "And besides, Sae keeps a stack of porn under his bed."

When was that? Six years ago?

You sighed into your sleeve, hiding yourself from your surroundings. Six years ago, you were denying every allegation thrown your way about Sae, that he wasn't your boyfriend or crush.

Six years ago, you were just friends. And three days ago, he—

Your head spun as the memory of him dipping between your thighs flashed through your brain, your foot tapping incessantly against the Itoshi house's floor.

You bit your lip, arms folding over your chest.

It's been three days.

Three days since you ruined your friendship with your childhood friend, Sae.

But since those three days? Sae's just been acting completely normal. Greeting you when taking out the trash, asking you to come over for dinner per his mom's orders, and staring blankly at you without a care in the world.

Normally.

It was so normal. Too normal.

And you were certain that on the day Sae kissed you, you would lose your virginity. It was a bit of a stretch—in fact, entirely a stretch.

Because, of course, Sae had been an asshole about everything—including sex.

...

The air was suffocating—light rays melting over your face, the fan whirling, and you?

You were gone. Almost.

You weakly tugged at his magenta locks. "S-Sae, I can't..."

He didn't respond, only peering from between your thighs. It was all too surreal—too much for you. And in all honesty, you would've thought it'd be too much for him too. Sae's entire face was soaked in your fluids, dripping down his chin, smeared over his cheeks and nose, and lips swollen and blushing.

Still, his grip spreading your thighs was firm, his wet tongue running a long stripe from your hole to your clit again.

"Oh my—" Your thighs trembled, attempting to close them.

Sae barely chuckled; you knew from the way his lips twitched against your folds. "Hmph."

His tongue prodded at your folds again. Then, his thumb and forefinger reached out and pinched your peeking hood, lifting it slightly and sealing his lips around the bud, sucking harshly.

"Mmm— Ah!" You whimpered, hips jerking. "F-Fuck, I hate you."

The words came out on instinct—a testament to his amazing ability to bother you. And yet, you meant no harm. Just the furrowed flick of your brow, the sweat dripping down your temple, and your poor, overwhelmed pussy.

"Hmm?" Sae hummed against your folds. "Tapping out now?"

Your grip on his hair tightened, your back arching from the electric sensations. "You idiot, a-as if 'I can't' isn't enough— Ah!"

His lips seared over your clit again, flicking the bud until your brain was officially mush and your abdomen grew hot.

"M'gonna cum again, m'gonna cum," you mewled, nails dragging on his scalp.

His breath ghosted your soaked folds, lips grazing your labia. "Then cum, stupid."

Stupid? You wanted to retort, but he slid a finger into your hole and pressed into a spot that made your hips jolt.

Compared to your fingers, his were huge. His digit flicked against a sensitive spot that made your clit ache. And it reached such a deep spot—

Your eyes blew open. "Sae!"

His name ripped from your throat as he slurped your clit into his mouth again, finger pumping in and out of your dripping hole.

The knot in your stomach undid, and another orgasm crashed down on you. At first it was euphoric—so brain-mushingly euphoric. But after cumming so many times, the feeling of euphoria consumed you. Made your abdomen warm, your thighs shaky, and your eyes glazed and wide.

Yet, your hips bucked over his tongue, riding out your high just one more time.

You twitched when his tongue began to lash at your folds again, whacking his shoulder with a bit more force. Your forearm rested over your forehead to keep you at bay, eyes burning holes into the ceiling.

Oh, fuck.

Sae withdrew his finger from your heat, pressing a wet kiss to your twitchy clit.

"Still with me?" He came up next to you, cerulean eyes drowning in mirth. "Open up."

His middle finger came to rest just by your lips, your slick dripping down his palm.

Did he seriously want you to taste yourself?

It didn't matter, anyway; the earth was spinning too much for it to matter.

"M'talking to you." Sae patted your cheek out of your trance, his gaze more directive and drilling. "Open."

Your lips parted over his finger, fluids melting over your tongue. The taste was salty but with a tinge of sweetness, tongue swirling over his digit.

"There you go." He stroked your stray hairs behind your ear, withdrawing his finger. "You are still with me."

The urge was pulling at you: the unspoken promise that tonight, you would have sex with Sae.

It made sense; you were curious and had no time or effort for dating, and he was right here all summer. Besides, Sae was already experienced, so what was the issue?

"Condom," you murmured. "Do you have condoms?"

His brow shot up in half surprise, half amusement and snickered. "For what?"

"For fucking."

"You wanna fuck?"

"Sae."

He had to hurry up before the dots skewing your vision took over, but Sae just kept looking at you like you were so incredibly funny.

You tug at the hem of his shirt once, blinking rapidly. "What?"

"I don't think you're in any state for that."

"N-No, let's do it."

"...No."

Your brows furrowed in annoyance, weakly yanking at his shirt. "Y-You're so annoying; I ask you for one thing... and you give me a hundred of the things I don't ask for."

Your head lolled to the side. "So annoying. I hate you..."

Sae's gaze switched from amusement to a softer one. "Hey, stay with me."

You wanted to reply. Wanted to fuck. But the dots in your vision were now spots, and your eyelids were oh so heavy.

Condoms.

You thought one last time.

We need a condom.

...

"Oh, dear, can you bring this up to Sae, please?"

Mrs Itoshi snapped you out of your trance, shuffling your feet over the bamboo flooring. "Oh, yes, Auntie! Sorry."

She handed you a plate full of enriching food—obviously meant for an athlete and their breadwinner son.

Mrs Itoshi was a rather tall woman with kind eyes and the same magenta hair Sae had—she did worry a lot, but it was endearing and sweet. So unlike the boy she raised.

She reached out to pinch your cheek. "My, you've grown so much, dear. After Sae came back, I really see how big you've become."

You smiled sheepishly, bowing your head. "Oh, I guess so."

"Ah, when are you going to get a boyfriend?"

You swallowed thickly. "Wha...? Boyfriend?"

She nodded profusely. "A boyfriend! You're so pretty and smart and young; I'm sure many boys like you."

"Oh, it's nothing like that."

"Ah, you don't have to keep it a secret," she cooed. "I won't tell your mother."

You definitely will tell my mother, you thought. Those two have been practically glued at the hip since high school. "No, really. I'm focusing on other stuff right now, but maybe later."

"Oh yeah," she nodded slowly. "But still, if you ever have problems, you can tell me."

"Okay, Auntie."

She smiled. "Go now. Make sure that boy eats."

You smiled again and waved her off, rushing up the stairs, a flush creeping up your neck.

If only she knew—well, it would be disastrous if she did. After all, how the hell were you supposed to tell a family friend that her son ate you out at your place a few days ago?

You took in sharp breaths in front of Sae's door. His bedroom was next to Rin's, and frankly, before he came back to Japan, it was your safe haven when you spent the days at the Itoshi household.

Your feet shuffled on the ground, slippers rubbing over the floor, before twisting the doorknob.

It shouldn't be weird, right? You thought. You've been doing this since you were kids.

The door clicked open when you saw Sae perched on his bed, a hand placed over his shoulder as he rolled his arm back. His brows were furrowed and eyes fixed on his arm, softly groaning under his breath.

Then, you met his gaze, quickly turning away from each other.

"Ahem," you cleared your throat. "Your mom told me to bring this to you."

He feigned silence but stopped rolling his defined arm, flexing it against his T-shirt sleeve.

Fuck, you thought. Don't look.

"Leave it on the side table," he said, biting back a whine. "Thanks."

You carefully placed the plate on his side table when you met Sae's gaze in curiosity.

Again?

As the seconds passed, knots began to tie in your stomach.

You both turned away, opting to fixate on his food, before he rasped. "What?"

"What?" you retorted. "It's just— Did you hurt your arm or something?"

You weren't facing him, back completely turned. But you could feel an oppressive heat creeping up your neck as the bedside lamp burnt softly, melting into the darkness of his room.

And for some reason, you knew he was feeling it too.

He mumbled. "My shoulder. Just from training."

"Oh, makes sense."

Silence charged the air. You were about to turn away, leave his bedroom, have some conscience—

"You know how to massage, right?" Sae asked. "I've seen you do it for Auntie before."

Well, yes, as much as any other kid was forced to massage their parents at a young age. You perked your head up, swallowing thickly. "I mean, I guess?"

Sae's gaze bore into yours—as if he were debating something grand in his head. His tongue clicked in his mouth.

"C'mere, then."

This was embarrassing. You thought, stepping towards him. This wasn't a good idea.

Yet, your fingers hovered over his exposed skin—settling on his defined arm, the faint hint of his veins running underneath his skin.

In a shaky breath, you whispered. "Where?"

"Here," he said, touching his right shoulder.

Your thumbs began to press into the knots in his shoulder. It was firm, nice to touch, press into, and squeeze.

"Is this okay?"

"Mm—" Sae groaned softly. "Go a little higher."

"Higher?" Your fingers moved, palm pressing into a spot higher than you were.

"Oh, fuck. You're doing good."

A flush crept up your neck, continuing to massage and relieve the knots in his shoulder. Sae kept groaning softly, like he was delicate—like he was vulnerable.

"Mm," he whimpered, the soft noise severing your thoughts. "Hurts now. Go higher."

You moved your thumbs higher, now pressing between his shoulder and collarbone. "Oh. Sorry."

Your brows furrowed, jaw clenching as your thumbs worked on him. It should be fine, right? You were massaging his shoulder that was separated by his shirt. And he's sore, so it should be fine—

Your eyes swept up his neck, meeting his gaze—low-lidded and pouring into yours.

He panted softly, brows furrowing. "Why'd you stop?"

"You— You look like you want to ask me a question!"

He kissed his teeth. "I want you to go lower."

"Lower? Isn't the pain in your shoulder?"

Sae cocked a brow at you, and then, you knew what he was asking for. Your thumbs moved down his clavicle, grazing down his chest. Featherlight, like he was something delicate.

Maybe to you, he was.

Your hands stopped at his chest, grazing the firm muscles underneath his shirt. Before you knew it, you were moving closer—so close that you could feel his breath ghosting your lips and the tip of his nose.

You blinked, eyes meeting his. And his fingers clasped around your wrist, pulling you closer.

"Uh uh," you whispered, palm pushing back on his chest. "You don't get to just do that."

Sae paused, feigning silence.

"What do you have to say about the other day?"

"What about the other day?"

"You— Don't make me say it," you huffed, hand still on his chest. "You're acting like nothing happened."

"...What did you want me to do?"

You blinked in disbelief.

Sae backtracked, thumb slowly rubbing your inner wrist. "I mean, you were curious, right?"

You paused, drawling out. "Well ... yes."

"I thought—" He scratched the back of his neck, a flush creeping up his ears. "I thought that's what that was."

"I was curious," you said, biting your inner cheek. "But you didn't exactly give me what I was asking for."

He cocked a brow. "You came. More than three times—"

"Shut up!" You clasped a hand over his mouth, your brows furrowing as he snickered.

Asshole. You could always tell when he was biting back a laugh from the crinkle under his eyes.

"...I wanted to, you know," you murmured, cheeks flushing. "Do it."

Sae muffled behind your palm. "You weren't ready, stupid. I could tell."

"Excuse me? What is that supposed to mean?" you asked, removing your hand.

"You're too tight. And loud. And sensitive. Also, you move too much—"

"You— Shut up."

"What? You asked me what I meant?"

You huffed, fingers flexing. "Maybe if you didn't eat me out until my vision got blurry, I would've been ready."

He blinked, sighing softly. "Yeah? Well, maybe if you didn't keep whining like you wanted more, I would've stopped."

Your nose scrunched as Sae just quirked a brow at you, daring you to retort—to say something better.

Then, he barked out a laugh, shaking his head. "This is so stupid. C'mere."

Sae's fingers tangled in your hair, giving you a moment to back out if you willed. This is a terrible idea. You thought. So terrible—but if you pulled away now, the ache between your thighs would stay.

And you knew you were in too deep for that.

So, you leaned in, nose brushing his, and crashed your lips on his.

Asshole. Jerk. Bastard. You wanted to say, wrapping your arms around his neck, holding him close. He groaned into your mouth, hands moving to tug your hips onto his lap. I'll get you next time.

Your knees landed beside his thighs on the bed, steadied by his firm grip on your thighs. His hand creeped up your hip, resting on your lower back.

You licked his lower lip—soft, wet, and plush—a signal for access. Letting out a soft moan, his lips parted, allowing you to prod your tongue at the roof of his mouth, stopping short behind his teeth.

He panted, exhaling warm breaths into your mouth as his fingers reached under your shirt, grazing your bare skin. "Easy."

You whined, lips chasing his. Sae cut you with a firm squeeze on your thigh. "Hm? Use your words."

You huffed. "My tongue."

"What about it?"

"Suck— Suck on it."

Sae's gaze—low-lidded and tempted—ran down from your eyes to your wet lips. Then, he leaned in, fingers reaching to tap your cheek, coaxing you to open your mouth.

His lips wrapped around the tip of your tongue and sucked fervently. It was hot and suffocating—he was hot and suffocating.

You mewled into his mouth, pulling him closer.

"Fuck," he huffed against your lips. "Fuck."

Your eyes flitted to his dishevelled face, hair pushed back and lips swollen. His lips kissed down your jaw, making his way down your neck.

"Ah," you moaned softly. "Wait—"

His lips grazing the skin of your neck sent electricity straight between your thighs—growing hot and aching with each second. Your head was spinning, hands fumbling to grab at his shirt—

Sae whispered against the juncture of your neck. "You're serious about wanting to fuck, aren't you?"

"...Of course I am."

He released his warm breath on your neck, pressing his lips closer to the spot under your ear.

You flexed your fingers, whining softly. "Is that a bad idea?"

"You're so..." he murmured, threatening a smile. "No, it's not. Nevermind."

His hands moved to your waist, laying you on his bed. Your back hit his fresh sheets, engulfing you in his sweet scent.

Sae hovered over you, forearms braced beside your head. "I don't have any condoms, so I won't do anything."

Your head tilted at his comment, which was... reasonable enough. "You could... pull out?"

He coughed. "M'not doing that."

You grumbled, fingers picking the lint off his T-shirt. "You could... buy some right now?"

"Do you wanna ruin the mood?"

"You're already ruining the mood."

"Tch, shut up." His lips moved to press against the spot beneath your ear, shooting shivers of sparks down your stomach. "S'because you're impatient, dumbass."

You scoffed. "You're saying I'm—"

Then, Sae bit down on your neck—hard.

"Ah!"

"Oh, shit." He pressed several kisses to the bitten spot, trying to soothe you. "You were talking too much. Got distracted."

Your nose scrunched. "You're such a dick."

He smiled against your skin, pressing kisses down your neck, sucking the skin into his mouth. His teeth grazed your sensitive skin, making you arch into him as gasps pulled out of your throat.

"Never thought I'd be biting you until today," he murmured, sucking on an untouched patch of skin. "Younger me would be confused."

"Older me is confused," you huffed out, yelping when he bit the juncture between your collarbone and neck. "Sae!"

He grumbled in annoyance, licking a stripe up your collarbone. "What? Stop disrupting."

"Anyway, I hope you don't mind..." he whispered, fingers crawling beneath your shirt and up your bare back. "I wanna see you."

His fingers stopped short at your bra, unclasping the piece.

"All of you."

Your mind was a blur when Sae discarded your bra, fingers fumbling for the hem of your shirt. He was on his knees, hovering over you. "Has anyone ever seen you like this before?"

You pursed your lips. "What do you think?"

Sae paused, his eyes crinkling a fraction. "So I'm the only one?"

"...Shut up."

He pushed your shirt up, exposing the soft skin of your stomach, continuing until the fabric was pushed over your chest.

He leaned down, pressing a wet kiss to your temple. You felt his nose brush against yours, turning to meet his gaze.

Then, your lips parted, tongue lolling out to meet his.

Sae's tongue flicked against yours, swirling slowly around the wet muscle. You whined against his lips, wrapping your arms around his neck, licking over his tongue, and letting him prod the wet muscle in the cavern of your mouth. Let him see which spot made you whine and squirm. Let him see which spot made you chant his name.

When Sae pulled away, a string of saliva connected you together.

"Sae..." you whispered as he pulled back, the lamp illuminating the wet shine of his lips.

Sae snickered, warm hands resting on the underside of your breasts. You arched instinctively, eyes closing shut. His fingers ghosted up your chest, every featherlight touch trickling into your hot skin.

He touched you so well—so softly. Yet, he was everywhere except where you wanted him.

His index shakily grazed the slope of your breast, tracing a slow circle around your areola, watching your nipple bud up.

"Fuck," he murmured lowly. "M'gonna die."

Then, his fingers snaked to cup your breasts, giving a soft, desperate squeeze.

"M'gonna die," he repeated, nose brushing your cheek. "Pretty. You're so pretty."

A warm sensation trickled down your chest as his lips ghosted down your jaw, warm breath mingling with your exposed skin.

Your breaths were laboured and anticipatory as his lips pressed against the plush of your breast. "What are you gonna do?..."

His lips wrapped around the skin of your breast, sucking it into his mouth softly. You could feel his tongue flick against your skin, warmth shooting to your core.

You arched your back softly into him, whining softly. "Hngh—"

"Shh," Sae's teeth nipped at your skin, clamping down. "Haven't even touched you that much."

"Y-Yes, you have."

"Think you're just sensitive."

"Shut up."

His breath trailed from your breast to your nipple, breath perking the bud up. "M'not the one bein' noisy."

His hands snaked up your waist, thumbs brushing your stiffened nipples, adding pressure as your nose scrunched. "You are."

"S-Sae..." you mewled quietly as his thumbs pressed harder, rubbing firm circles into your aching buds. You pressed the back of your hand over your mouth, stifling your noises. "Shit."

"Hm?" His thumb and forefingers pinched your buds, tugging on them. "What is it?"

"It feels..."

"Good?" He smiled against your skin, hands pulling away, admiring your stiffened buds.

Then, his teeth sank into your supple flesh, swiping his tongue over the reddened skin. "I know."

Sae pressed wet kisses down the valley of your breasts, switching between nipping and sucking your skin. Your breath hitched, watching his head dip to your stomach.

"Sae?" you murmured as he pressed a wet kiss to the spot above your belly button.

"Hm?"

A purple splotch on your breasts and sides caught your eye. "Did you just— Did you do that?"

"Yeah?" He cast you a sarcastic glance, teeth nipping at the spot he kissed. "What about?"

"Why would you— How long is that gonna stay?" You lightly whacked his shoulder as he sucked the spot below your breast. "Mm!"

He swiped his tongue over the new, purpling splotch. "Depends. How hard do you want it?"

"Mm, I don't want people to see."

"People see you like this?" Sae's brows furrowed, lips ghosting over your side. "Like this?"

His thumb shakily grazed over the expanse of your chest, rubbing over your tightened nipple. Sae's gaze stayed on you, teeth sinking into the skin of your side.

He was teasing again. Playing around. Touching you in places that made you squirm.

"You—" you moaned softly, fingers tangling in his magenta locks. "Fuck, feels good, Sae."

"You like when I kiss you here?"

Your cheek grazed the pillows as he nuzzled his nose into your breast, gently biting your supple flesh. "Mm— Mhm."

His low-lidded gaze moved from your face to your tightened nipples, thumbing your waist. "You like when I lick you?"

His tongue ran a slow stripe up your chest, his eyes never leaving yours. The wetness left a glistening on your skin, illuminating a soft glow under the lamp.

Your fingers flexed in his locks, whining softly. "Y-Yeah."

"Want me to do it again?"

"Fuck— Are you making fun of me right now?"

Sae smiled—faintly, dignifiedly, and relentlessly—and leant into your chest. His breath ghosted over your stiff nipple before lolling his tongue out, running a slow, teasing stripe over the bud.

You squirmed, pulling the strands of his hair. "S-Sae!"

His fingers wrapped around your wrist, pinning it to the bed before murmuring against your glistening bud. "Look at me."

Your hazy gaze darted around the room before sweeping to him, hovering above your breast. "What?"

"I won't do this if you don't look." He licked another stripe up your nipple, thumb and forefinger moving to gently pinch the other. "That's my only rule."

A flush crept up your cheeks as he swirled his tongue over your bud—slow, unrelenting, and teasing. "Since when did we have rules?—"

Sae wrapped his lips around your nipple, tongue swirling around the bud as he sucked fervently. The wanton sensation swept over your nipples, shooting sparks to your aching core.

"Since now," he murmured, pressing a wet kiss to the stiffened bud. "You like it when I suck you here?"

You whined. "That feels!—"

He tilted his head, swiping his tongue over his lips. "Bad? You want me to stop?"

"No, no." You shook your head. "Don't stop."

Sae's lips ghosted your skin, moving to your untouched bud. "Could've said that, hm? I know you like it."

His hand reached to palm your glistening breast, softly squeezing the mound. "I know you do."

He wrapped his lips around your other nipple, tongue rubbing the bud in a slow, passionate motion. You arched into him as his forefinger flicked the other one, pinching and tugging on your wet bud.

"Sae!..."

He darted his tongue out to a single point, flicking the wet muscle over your stiff nipple. "Hm?"

"Feels good," you mewled. "Don't stop— Please don't stop."

Sae, unrelenting, wrapped his lips around your nipple again, sucking fervently on the bud while his tongue swirled. It shot a warmth across your chest, shooting to your aching core.

You rubbed your thighs together impatiently as his teeth nipped at your bud, gently tugging on it. "Ah..."

"Mm..." Sae's teeth grazed your tightened nipple again, pulling ever so softly. "Mm."

He pulled back, paying his attention back to your glistening bud, fingers shakily tugging the unattended one. He lolled his tongue out, licking a slow stripe up your sensitive bud.

Your jaw was slack and eyes glassy before fixing on Sae, who took your nipple into his mouth again. His cheeks hollowed as he sucked fervently, tongue swirling and lashing at your wet bud.

"Sae!" You whimpered, squirming.

"What now?"

His tongue was all too overwhelming—too good—that the warmth between your thighs throbbed with each passing second. You panted. "T'much."

"Sensitive?" He asked, fingers moving to pinch your aching buds.

"What do you think?—"

Sae grimaced—ever so slightly. "Thought you liked it."

You frowned, ignoring your burning cheeks. "Y-Yeah, but..."

"But what?"

"You're embarrassing me with all these questions!" You lightly whacked his head with your free hand, frowning at his pout. "And you said you wouldn't do anything!"

He huffed. "I am not doing anything."

You raised a brow before gesturing to your marked skin, running all the way from your neck to your breasts and stomach. "You are doing something, idiot."

"Hmph," he clicked his tongue against his cheek. "So what?"

"So what?—" You huffed, pushing yourself up from your palms. "You just keep doing anythin' you please, even though you refuse to do it."

"...We went over this; we don't have condoms."

Your brows furrowed, thumb swiping over the saliva at the corner of his mouth. "I know. So let me see your dick."

Sae coughed into his fist. "Let you see my— What?"

"Oh, so you can see every part of me, but I can't see your little dick?"

"Don't call my dick little," he scoffed. "Why do you wanna see it anyway?"

You fiddled with your fingers, your shirt still pushed over your chest. "Because... I wanna make you feel good too."

A flush crept up Sae's neck, his hand sweeping over his lower face as he snorted.

Your eye twitched.

Did he just laugh?

His shoulders slightly bounced as he giggled into his hand, eyes averting from yours.

"What?" Your jaw slacked open, staring as he laughed. "What the fuck?"

"You're confident, but," Sae snorted again. "I doubt your skills."

"Are you shitting me?"

"No."

You shook your head. "I don't think I'd be terrible."

"You'd be pretty terrible."

Your brows furrowed at his stupid remarks, your foot aiming for his balls, just like when you were kids.

He groaned, face contorting. "What the fuck?"

"Hm," you huffed, instead feeling a stiff, aching heat between his legs. "What is that?"

Sae let out a shaky breath. "You know what that is."

Your foot slowly pressed into his crotch. "Not really. How hard are you right now?"

Sae must have been aching from the way his cock jumped in his pants, straining against the fabric. You tilted your head curiously, feeling his stiffness. It was hard, albeit a little squishy and twitched terribly—

He huffed, lips twitching. "I swear to god, that's enough."

You were about to press harder until he caught your ankle, moving your foot to the bed. "Fine. You can see my dick."

Your eyes lit up as he moved to adjust his waistband, his hand reaching into his sweats. "See how fuckin' 'small' it is."

His elbow dipped into the sheets beside your head as he hovered over you, cerulean gaze pouring into yours. Fingers reached into his sweats as he pulled his aching cock from his pants, pushing the fabric down.

A day ago, you thought you had some semblance to what a dick looked like in person.

But Sae's was foreign. Twitching. Almost, almost even blushing.

Fluids pearled at his tip, trickling down his shaft. His hand wrapped around the tip, slowly pumping to the base. "... Fuck, this is embarrassing."

"What is that? Did you cum?" Your cheeks burnt as he pumped softly, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip.

"No, idiot. It's pre."

"What is pre?"

"Pre-cum?" Sae's brows furrowed. "It's like when you get wet, almost."

"Oh," you bit back a laugh. "You must be really sensitive then."

"Yeah, yeah. Don't get so—"

You reached out curiously, forefinger pressing against his tip, where pre-cum leaked out. It was sticky and slick, collecting at the pad of your finger.

A stuttering gasp pulled out of Sae's throat, cock twitching as you touched him. He shakily pumped his cock once more, hips bucking into his hand.

"Fuck you," he panted. "Fuck you."

You bit back a laugh, pulling back. "Can I touch it?"

His forehead dropped to your shoulder, damp bangs pressing softly into your skin. "Don't do what you did last time. Wrap your hand around it."

You couldn't see his face, but you felt his breath hitching against your skin and his hand snaking to yours—wrapping around it and slowly guiding it to his cock.

Your breath hitched as your fingers wrapped around the base, your thumb and forefinger barely brushing each other. He swiped his tongue over his lips, brows furrowing as you squeezed softly. "Like that, mm— Good, just go slow."

His wet lips pressed between your neck and clavicle, licking a stripe up your skin. Like some means to distract himself. To distract you from the slight stutter in his hips.

After observing Sae for so long—since he first scored into a net, since he failed almost all of his classes, and since the first girl in your class gave him chocolates—you knew it would be futile.

You've been watching him for so long. Observing him for years. Because one day, you might come and find out these things yourself—touch him, learn his movements, tease him.

His cock was sticky, maybe from all the pre-cum dripping onto his shaft or the heat of your bodies. You gently squeezed his base, hand slowly pumping up to his tip.

He nuzzled his nose into your neck, teeth baring and twitching to nip at you. "Slowly."

You swallowed thickly as your hand stroked his tip, dragging it back down to his base. He moaned quietly into the juncture of your neck, eyelashes fluttering against your damp skin.

"Shit," he cursed, something close to a whimper edging at his lips. "Like that."

His hips bucked into your hand as you squeezed his cock again, stroking the sticky mess up to his tip, where pre-cum pearled at the head.

He throbbed in your hand, the tip blushing redder and redder. Your cheek nuzzled against his as your head turned, lashes batting against each other's skin as you gazed into him.

Sae's eyes—usually lazy and unbothered—crinkled ever so slightly, staring into you.

You squeezed his tip, your thumb brushing his slit as pre-cum soaked the pad of your thumb. Lips ghosting over his, you paused and pressed your lips to his, tongue prodding into his mouth.

Something akin to a whine melted into your mouth as his hips spasmed into your warmth, hand dragging down his base, and—

A wet, sticky fluid spilt onto your hand, all the way down your wrist. Your tongue swiped over his before pulling away, meeting his flushed, redden tip and something new—no, something lewd on your skin.

He swallowed thickly as you observed the white mess on your skin, eyes meeting his.

Sae turned away.

"Did you cum?"

"...Shut up."

You pressed the back of your clean hand over your mouth, flush creeping up your neck. "Wow, that was kind of... quick?"

Sae's ears reddened, his tongue clicking against his cheek.

"Is it always that fast?"

"No, stop talkin' about it." He murmured. "That was a one-time thing."

"I thought you were like, experienced."

"I am."

"But that wasn't even a minute!"

"You— You kissed me."

He cast you a shy glance, lips pursing. Eyes fleeting to his still hard cock, you swallowed thickly. "...Right."

Your hand brushed his base again, fingers flexing against his sticky skin. "Can I do it again?"

"I dunno. That made me shy," he whispered. "Let me touch you this time."

Your hand wrapped around his shaft again, pumping slowly. "But you're still hard."

He let out a low gasp, fingers snaking to the edge of your waistband. "So? We both have hands."

His hand slipped beneath the fabric, the pads of his fingers brushing against your twitchy clit. "Might as well use them."

Sae's index and middle fingers rubbed the soaked fabric covering your entrance. "Shit, you're so wet."

"Because you kept kissing and biting me everywhere— Fuck."

His middle finger dipped beneath your panties, collecting your slick on his fingers. "What was that? Sayin' something?"

You squeezed his shaft harder this time, pumping your hand up to his tip. "Fuck you."

"Can't today. No condoms."

A grimace crept onto your lips. "Not funny, Sae."

He chuckled, the vibration melting into your skin before his lips met your own, tongue swiping the spot behind your teeth. You whined into the kiss as his fingers crept lower, brushing your entrance.

"I think you're ready," Sae whispered against your cheek, his hip nudging you to spread your thigh. "I'll do one finger for now, okay?"

You nodded, breath hitching. "My shorts."

"Want them off?"

"Mhm."

His fingers hooked into the waistband of your shorts and panties, pulling the fabric off with a few smooth tugs. Discarding your clothes onto the bed, his fingers curled by your entrance, his middle finger pressing against the spot.

Your hand gripped his base tighter, slowly pumping to his tip and back whenever you could, lips brushing his. "Sae."

"Relax, relax." He urged, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip as you pumped. "I got you."

His middle finger prodded at your entrance, angling it so, and dipped inside. Compared to the first time he tried to finger you, your hole accommodated him, soaked folds twitching as his thumb rubbed sticky circles on your clit.

Sae let out a low whine as you squeezed his tip. "Mm, you're so fuckin' wet."

"It... It doesn't hurt," you moaned sweetly.

"Yeah?" He leaned in close, lips brushing your temple as the tip of his finger prodded at the entrance of your hole—brushing against every ridge and spot that made you react. "Feel good?"

"F-Feels good," you whined as his entire finger slid inside, curling at the roof of your pussy. "Ah!"

"What, that feels good too?" He whispered. "Did I touch your G-spot?"

Your hips bucked into his finger as he curled again into the same spot, a new warmth settling into your abdomen. You nodded hazily, your free hand moving to grip his shoulder.

"S-Sae, how should I touch you?"

He raised a brow, his finger sliding in and out of your wet heat, curling into the spot that made you buck. "You're doin' well so far."

You shakily pumped from his tip to base, squeezing the sticky shaft. "How should I touch you to make you cum?"

Sae's gaze averted to the pillows, flush creeping up his neck. "You wanna go there?"

"I don't wanna cum alone," you breathe out. "Not like last time."

His head dipped to watch your fingers slowly stroke his cock, remnants of his previous pleasure creeping in his abdomen. "Rub your thumb over the slit right there."

He slid his finger and pressed upwards as you swiped your thumb over his slit again, rubbing it in a sticky side-to-side motion. Squeezing softly as his hips bucked, he withdrew his finger. "Fuck, like that."

Sae's eyes squeezed shut, teeth catching the supple skin of your neck. "Gonna cum if you keep doin' that. You wanna make me cum?"

"Mhm, wanna see you cum," you said, biting your lip and thumbing at his tip.

"Before you?"

"Before me."

He laughed, low and shaky. "T-Then rub the underside. It feels— Fuck, you know how it feels."

You did know how it felt to be touched so sweetly that you could go insane. Maybe Sae taught you that feeling, but it was something you knew too well. Something you wanted to chase. You thumb at the underside of his twitching cock, rubbing in sticky circles.

His head threw back, eyes screwing shut. "Shit, shit."

Sae was already sensitive and brainless beyond comprehension. You were just too good for him—too good for his nerves to settle down. If he came again, he would seem beyond stupid. Beyond precise. But you kept asking him where to touch, how to touch, how to make him feel good.

He couldn't help but indulge you.

So his soaked finger moved to graze your wet, twitchy folds, rubbing sticky circles onto your clit. "If you wanna cum too, then fucking stop."

You smiled—faintly, dignifiedly, relentlessly—and continued to pump his cock. Rubbing his pearly slit, thumbing the underside of his tip, and dragging your hand down to his base.

It was all too much. His hips were already bucking into your hand, and his fingers were already shaking against your folds.

Not again. He thought, lip trembling. Not again.

You rubbed your thumb into his slit once more, giving a soft squeeze. And with that, ropes of white spilt from his cock.

You continued to pump him, brows furrowed and gaze fixed. "Again?"

"Fuck, stop that." He grabbed your wrist, letting out a shaky breath. "You're so..."

Sae ran his fingers through his magenta locks, hips still spasming and cock twitching. "M'not usually like this, just so you know."

"I know," you nodded, biting back a smile. "Don't be embarrassed."

He kissed his teeth, tongue swiping over them. "Shut up. Go on, do it again."

He loomed over you, warm hands splaying over your smooth thigh. Lips brushing your ear, Sae whispered. "I swear to god I'll make you cum this time."

Your hands found home on his shoulders as his hand between your thighs again, middle and ring fingers slowly rubbing your folds. He started slow, rubbing sticky figure eights at your entrance before snaking his way up to your twitchy clit—softly pinching the hood.

Sae's lip trembled against your cheek as your hand reached for his cock again, gripping the antsy base. His tip blushed red as you began to pump his overwhelmed cock in slow strokes.

"Fuck," he whined, his thumb and forefinger lifting the hood before massaging sticky motions onto your peeking clit.

Your hips jolted, mewls pulling from your throat as he continued to rub—eyes low-lidded and fixed on your soaked folds. Sae's hip nudged your squirming thighs apart, fingers snaking down to your entrance again.

"I neglected you, huh? Neglected your fuckin' pussy?" He chuckled, the words coming out shaky as you continued to stroke him up and down.

"S-Sae," you whined, squeezing his tip noticably harder. "Put it in already."

His nose nuzzled your skin as your hips bucked to meet his fingers, pulling back to rub slow circles into your folds.

"Haah— Just give me a second, hm? Gotta adjust to your—" Sae whined lowly, exhaling shakily. "Gotta adjust to your hand squeezing me."

Your hand stilled over his flushed cock, brows furrowing as he slid his ring and middle fingers into your wet heat. "Your fingers!—"

Sae's fingers have always been longer and bigger than yours, now mushing into your tight hole. It stung a little, but the pleasure that he gave was too much—too good to pass up on, thighs shaking as he pressed up on a spot that made you whine.

His breath was mingling with your own, and your hand began to drag up his cock again, thumbing his flushed tip. "It hurts a little, Sae; wait."

"I know, I know. J-Just..."

Sae's thumb massaged sticky circles on your clit, coaxing your hole open. He bit his lip as he slowly pulled his fingers out, the pads of his fingers dragging against the roof of your cunt.

Then, with a click of his tongue, he pushed his digits back in, curling upwards.

"Sae!" you moaned, squeezing his base. "That's— Fuck, s'good."

"Good, hm? Doesn't hurt?"

You shook your head as his thumb flicked at your puffy clit, fingers dragging out and in. "D-Doesn't hurt, mmph."

"Yeah? 'Cause you're hurtin' me right now."

Your hazy gaze fleeted down to his flushed cock, getting impossibly squeezed by your hand.

"Oh, oh shit," you let go, thumb and forefinger shakily rubbing his slit. "M'sorry."

He whined into your ear, teeth nipping the sensitive skin. "Fuck— You're makin' it worse, kinda. I'll cum again."

You swallowed thickly. "Again?"

"Shut— Shut up," he murmured, teeth sinking into your cheek.

"A-Ah!" you yelped, wrapping your hand around his tip. "What the fuck?"

"You asked for it." He pulled away, eyes low-lidded and fixed on yours, pressing a kiss onto the spot he bit.

You panted.

So did he.

And a lewd idea flashed through your head—making him cum over and over again until he couldn't think. That would be a sweet revenge for what he did to you last time and a perfect image in your head.

But Sae leaned in, lips brushing yours. "Let's cum together then, hm?"

Then, his lips swallowed yours, tongues swirling against each other's—prodding into the wet cavern of your mouth. You whined into his mouth as his fingers began to piston in and out of your soaked hole at a new, quickened pace, curling into a sweet, electric spot.

"Sae," you moaned into his mouth. "You're goin' fast."

He swallowed your moans, lips searing over yours. "That's the idea."

Your hand squeezed his shaft, pumping quick, sticky motions up and down his cock. His hips shuddered into your hand, breath getting more laboured as you continued.

"Not gonna be gentle?" he panted against your lips. "After you made me cum so many times?"

"Wan' you to cum one more time," you whispered as he curled his fingers up. "P-Please?"

His digits slid in and out of your hole, each push harsher than the last one. Something hot and bursting knotted in your lower stomach, hips jolting every time he curled his fingers. "Sae!"

Sae's tongue licked a stripe over yours, sucking the wet muscle into his mouth. "Fuck— Fuck, m'gonna cum soon."

You panted, whining into his mouth. "I-I can't!"

"What's that?" His thumb moved to shakily rub quick circles on your clit. "Of course you can."

Your hips lifted, hole clenching around his digits as you squeezed his cock. "Sae!"

Sae. Sae. Sae. Sae.

He whined against your lips, cock spasming in your hand as you pumped erratically—up and down, thumbing his slit, the underside of his tip.

"You're perfect," he sputtered. "P-Perfect."

Sae's digits pistoned into you at a maddening pace, curling so deeply into your gummy spot. Your vision began to blur as you moaned into his skin. "Sae!— Sae, I'll cum!"

His lips found yours again, tongues swirling over each other's as you whined. Your hips spasmed against his hand, your hand squeezing impossibly tight and—

His digits pressed into the same sweet spot, and the warm knots in your stomach undid and burst, washing over your body in electric rivulets.

You felt something hot spurt onto your soaked hand, stilling against his cock.

Sae was right. He did cum again.

His lips pulled away from yours, his free hand wiping over his face. You panted, bleary-eyed and dazed, as his digits continued to pump in and out of your slick, slower this time.

"Sae?..." you murmured, giving his cock a final squeeze, and—

Sniffle.

Your head snapped to his covered face, his breath shaking. "Sae?"

He swiped his tongue over his lips, fingers trembling. "Shit, I just came a third time..."

Sae removed his hand, and that's when you saw him raw. His cerulean eyes welled with tears, threatening to spill at any second.

"Fuck," he wiped the stray tears. "My dick's gonna die young."

You scoffed, jaw slack. "Are you crying?"

"Are you judging?"

"No, no. I just..." you panted as he pushed himself up, digits withdrawing from your folds. "I'm surprised."

"How is that surprising? I came three times," he huffed. "You really are a pervert."

A pervert?

"Hey! What the fuck?—"

"You owe me," he murmured, hands prying your thighs apart. "I don't like to cry."

Shit, you thought as his hand moved, palm facing up, and his ring and middle fingers slid into your soaked folds.

You were so fucked.

"You can take it, right?" Sae panted, fingers curling into your gummy spot. "I took what, three? You can take three, four, five more?"

His other hand reached up to pinch the hood of your puffy clit, lifting the hood as his thumb rubbed sticky figure eights into your bud.

You arched your back, hips jolting from his overwhelming touch. "Sae!"

"Shut up," he huffed, digits pressing into a sweet spot.

Your eyes squeezed shut as he leaned into you, lips wrapping around your stiffened nipple. "S-S'good."

Sae's damp bangs pressed against the smooth expanse of your skin, tongue swirling around the bud before his teeth nipped at the edges.

"Fuck," he murmured, licking a slow stripe around your nipple. "You can take it, right?"

You whimpered as his digits pumped into your hole, clenching around him for the nth time. "I can take it."

"Good," he murmured, thumb rubbing your overwhelmed clit in a relentless side-to-side motion. "See how many you can take."

His teeth sank into your chest as you moaned, hips stuttering. It was going to happen again while you were still sensitive. Before you could catch your breath and take your time to cum—

Another orgasm crashed over you. Hard and messy. But his fingers didn't stop or slow down, even as your head spun and tears pricked your eyes.

Sae panted, hand splaying over your lower stomach. The lamp illuminated a beautiful shine on his face, light catching the slope of his cheek. His thumb reached out to wipe the stray tear from your cheek. "Crying already? Don't be like that."

He panted, tongue clicking against his cheek. "Two down, three more to go."

It's been three days since Sae had eaten you out at your place.

Three days.

And now, Sae was going to make you cum three more times.

Three times?

You were so unbelievably fucked.

BONUS !

The rays of light scorched your skin as you sat on a field of grass.

The sun was surely melting your skin as sweat dripped from the back of your neck. Your mom had pestered you in the morning about it and spun your hair into the tightest high ponytail in existence.

Gosh, it was so annoying. This day. The hot weather. This stupid game.

Next to you was a boy about two years younger than you with a head full of dark hair and big, babyish eyes. He was short enough to stand at your sitting height, his tiny fingers pawing at the fence.

"Nii-chan," he murmured, teal eyes fixed on the football field. "Nii-chan! Nii-chan!"

Mrs Itoshiiii... You thought, picking at your shirt. Rin's talking to himself again.

Some other kid walked past the fence, pushing the small boy off balance, but your arm quickly shot out, rushing to Rin.

"Rin!" his head landed on your arm, eyes wide yet unfazed. "Are you okay?"

He nodded, not even looking at you. "Why aren't you watching Nii-chan?"

"I am."

"No."

"I will."

Rin puffed out his cheeks before scrabbling to his feet again. "He's gonna score again."

You tilted your head, eyes fixing on the field. Your mom had always forced you to watch Sae's games since you were six. It had been a weird tradition, and frankly, you were tired of the cheering and stacks of awards given to the annoying, stupid kid.

But Rin? He adored him, so much so that he could psychically predict his goals.

And he was right.

Sae spun, dodging the other player, before shooting the ball, scoring clean into the net. His face was concentrated, almost calculated, and proud—one of the reasons you thought he was so incredibly annoying.

The crowd cheered vehemently while Rin did his little victory dance.

Sae's team won.

Again.

You puffed out a sigh, used to this sort of thing, when Rin turned around, his head a little big for his body, like he was going to topple over at any given moment. "Isn't Nii-chan the coolest?"

"Yeah," you said. "The coolest."

Sae's cerulean gaze shot out to yours in the crowd—well, maybe to his little brother's—and he smiled. Faint, dignified, and relentless. Sweat beaded off the side of his cheek, staining his fair skin.

Then, his hand reached for the hem of his jersey, wiping his sweat. Your eyes flitted down.

Oh my god. Your eyes widened. Why is his stomach so toned?

Bells were flaring in your twelve-year-old head—not wedding bells, more like... bells. Just bells.

It reminded you of all the Webtoon you've consumed at night, where the guy's muscles are toned and firm and nice. Obviously, he would have to do some exercising in football practice. He didn't quite have muscles yet, but the exposure of his skin had your cheeks flaring with some weird feeling. It reminded you of—

A flush crept up your neck, the realisation of your thoughts hitting you.

Ew!

Cooties. You thought, softly patting Rin's back. Cooties.

Oh, but Sae was already making his way towards you. You frowned, pushing yourself up on your palms.

Great, now he was going to open his mouth again.

He hooked his chin over the fence, grinning at Rin. "See that, Rin? Another goal to becoming the best striker in the world. And I got another trophy."

"You're amazing, Nii-chan!" Rin hopped, smiling as Sae ruffled his hair.

"And what about you?" Sae asked.

"What about me?"

"Was I amazing?"

You huffed, turning away. "Shut up."

Rin cut in. "But Nee-chan, you said Nii-chan was the coolest."

Your eyes blew open.

"Rin!"

part 1 to childhood bsf!sae x reader

punk!rin itoshi who uses his large hand to pin your arms above your head as he sucks and licks your nipples. he needily licked over the sensitive bud as the cold metal sent tremors down your spine before taking it into his warm mouth—his barbed tongue swirling fervently as he sucks. arching your back as you let out little mewls, he pulls away with a wet pop—panting before switching to the other.

punk!rin itoshi who trails his lips down your chest and abdomen as his large hands fondle your tits, desperately squishing at the soft flesh. his hands span across the plushness of your thighs before hooking into the waistband of your shorts, tugging them off. he places little kisses and bites on your inner thighs as your shorts hang over one ankle. peering up at you with those adorable teal eyes, he murmurs. "can i?"

the silver barbell gleams from his tongue as you nod. "please," you start, hiding your face with the back of your hand. "need you s'bad."

rin swallows thickly at your approval, tugging off your panties in newfound neediness. drooling at the sight of your bare pussy, twitching and wet, he presses a thumb to your slit. wetting his skin as the friction sends tremors to your clit. then he licks up, slow and languid, collecting your slick along his tongue.

punk!rin itoshi who can't control himself while eating you out to save his life. growling into your pussy as you squirm against the cold metal of his barbell, he roughly pins your thighs to his bed. ignoring how your hips jerk with each lick over your sensitive clit, he sucks the bud into his mouth. barbed tongue swirling as the sensation hits you again and again—

"rin!" you cry out, fingers interlacing in his dark strands. "t'much!"

he lets out a muffled growl, ignoring how your hips stutter with each fervent suck. his own hips grind into the mattress as he switches between licking and sucking at your clit. then his head tilts down, his tongue plunging deep into your pussy with a soft groan. the cold metal brushes against your gummy walls as warmth pools at your abdomen, twisting into a coil close to snapping.

you pull at his hair after every mewl, but that only seems to egg him further on. he doubles down as his tongue presses deep into your sweet spot, causing your hips to launch off the bed, stammering. "r-rin! i cant!—"

you're close—so goddamn close—and he keeps going, pushing your knees to brush against your chest. "s'good," he whines into you, rutting into the bed. "s'fucking good."

suddenly, his tongue withdraws from your pussy. his lips opt to wrap around your clit once more. the cold metal swirling against the sensitive bud with each harsh suck. the coil snaps as you cry out, the dizzying feeling of cumming on rin's tongue too much for you to handle.

punk!rin itoshi who doesn't stop rutting into the bed, even as you cum. continuing to lick and suck at your clit after each hair pull. "c-can't," you stammer, cut off by a whine.

panting, he murmurs. "one more, hm? you can do it."

and as he presses a soft kiss to your clit before diving in again, you might as well brace yourself to give him one more.

"Thank you."

The Prince of Nippon bowed—albeit awkwardly—and fled to the stands. You tapped your foot against marble flooring a little too aggressively, waiting for this clearly unwanted celebration to end. Whistledown had lied. This ball wasn't the event of the year; it was nothing short of a nightmare, written off with a few longing glances, an exchange of tender laughter, and—

A clatter echoed against marble.

The debutante in the centre had dropped her fan, a proud smile etched on her face as Bunny reached over, gloved fingers brushing the piece.

He picked it up. Oh my god, that fool picked it up.

You fiddled with the hem of your dress, skin rubbing against the frilly lace—which was now so, so unfathomably unbearable to the touch. Looking over to the pair, Bunny handed the lady the opulent piece, palm reaching out to hers. And he flashed that moronic smile he swore he only showed you, dimples cratering in the smooth slopes of his cheeks.

That rake.

A voice next to you whispered. "Isn't he engaged?"

"About to be engaged, yet he seems rather elated to dance with this new... debutante."

"Well, her face itself might send an army to war, a man into hysteria."

"Haah!— Wait until they wed; she will surely show her true colours then."

The two girls gossiping beside you cast you a side glance, hair brushing as they leant closer.

"Shush, that is his betrothed."

"She looks like she just witnessed a slaughter. Poor girl."

"Pfft—"

You bit your inner cheek, turning your back to the pair. Hands gripped deep into the fabric of your dress, the urge to crawl into a hole and die was all too consuming—too tempting at the moment. You had to escape from the embarrassment and social crisis your almost betrothed had cast on you and your family name.

And so, you scurried.

The Duke of Iglesias, have you not learnt any commendable decorum on all your little expeditions out of the ton? Has he not raked through enough of Europe before ruining a family name? Your families were going to finalise your engagement at this very ball! It was already incredibly selective to want to marry a man who wasn't balding and old, but it was even more particular to want a decent, young bachelor. So of course, men like Bunny had been an issue; he was coveted by everyone.

And now, he had become your most bothersome mess.

The cold air hit your nape as you stepped outside into the garden, rushing down the steps to soothe your nerves—any of them—until you collided into a broad, strong back.

"Ah—"

You blinked vehemently, stumbling back onto the steps with less grace than you would like to admit. The wind whistled quietly through the air, dancing with the foreboding silence of that man.

Your eyes flitted to a hint of tousled magenta hair.

The Prince of Nippon?

"Oh, I, ah—"

A series of unintelligible apologies and muttering tumbled out of your mouth, wishing the world would just swallow you whole.

He rolled his eyes, hands shoved deep into his pockets.

"Look to your path next time."

Your brow twitched. His Royal Highness was cold as always, and you would be lying if you had said this was your first meeting with him, because frankly, it was not.

But surely, he was too out of touch in his own lavish life to remember squabbling with an ill-mannered debutante.

...

"Excuse you," you huffed, folding your arms over your chest. "What do you think you're doing speaking to His Grace like that?"

Bunny cast you a surprised glance, lips etching into an amused smile. You met his red gaze, brows furrowing at his stifled laughter.

“What?” You asked Bunny.

He only laughed and shook his head.

The man with magenta hair huffed out a laugh, deep cerulean eyes locking onto yours. "Excuse me?"

If it weren't for his utter audacity, perhaps you would be frightened by his cold glare. But this man paraded around the ballroom like he was important, and you certainly did not take abrasiveness lightly—especially towards your soon-to-be betrothed.

You tilted your head. "What?"

"It is alright." Bunny turned to you, eyes crinkling. "I'm sure His Royal Highness meant no harm in the message."

Your throat tightened.

His Royal Highness?

The prince scoffed, turning away from you.

"How foolish."

...

The words echoed in your head.

Look to your path next time.

He huffed, eyes crinkling in quiet mischief. "...Or His Grace will be worried about you."

You blinked. So he did remember you—as Bunny's betrothed.

You scoffed, hand planted on your hip. "Is that supposed to be some kind of veiled insult, Your Highness?"

"What kind of veiled insult shows concern to the recipient?"

"The kind that—" You clicked your tongue. "The kind that you would make!"

"Your Highness."

You huffed at his correction, head bowing to the marble staircase. "Your Highness."

The prince tilted his head to the side, cerulean eyes raking over your decorated figure. "You need not worry about such trivial affairs."

Your gloved fingers pressed to your temple, shoulders relaxing a tad. Of course he would know about this ridiculous liaison. He was the prince, and today was his celebration. "And do tell, what about this affair sounds trivial to you, Your Highness?"

"It is merely a dance."

"A dance between the diamond of the season and my soon-to-be betrothed."

"Though you are far from a diamond, you should face no trouble in securing another suitor."

Your gaze caught his—a deep colour of teal. Although the Prince of Nippon was strange, cold, and outcast, he was undoubtedly beautiful. Whispers of his moon-soaked beauty travelled from estates to palaces to the papers distributed in the ton.

For a war hero, he sure didn't look like one.

Your thumb flicked over the fabric of your glove. "Almost all of the other suitors pry and take you apart like you're prey."

"Was His Grace any different?"

"Well, he was..."

Kind.

He accommodated you when no one else did, promenading and dazzling you with fancy gifts and thoughtful praise. To call what you and Bunny had love was ridiculous—folly, even. But to call Bunny horrible was...

A lie.

He was pleasant.

"He was young and wealthy—apologies. Does that make me sound opportunistic?" You turned to him, brows furrowed in deep thought.

The prince snorted, a rare sight usually hidden away from the ton. "Not at all. At least you choose to be honest."

"Then we are on the same page. Bunny—Ah, His Grace was most eligible for marriage, and I thought he believed me the same..."

You let out a sigh, your dress suddenly feeling all too befitting and tight around your chest. "I suppose not."

"Iglesias is a foolish man; I take it you are aware of that, for all his gambling endeavours and expeditions to meet beautiful women. It is no surprise that he would disappoint many naive ladies like you."

You were curtly aware of that Bunny was no saint, but he was secure. And what did His Royal Highness have any say in meeting beautiful women? Let alone naive ladies?

"Your Highness, I mean no disrespect, but you are of the same branch. And I am far from naive. Not all of his expeditions are to meet women."

The prince cast you an amused glance, a huff of laughter pulling from his throat.

"Hah!"

He leaned in close, long lashes batting against the ivory of his cheeks. "Soft-hearted girl, what do you think you truly know about His Grace?"

The prince was mocking you—pompously ridiculing you—but his face was inches from yours, and his breath mingled with your sensitive skin. A flush crept up your bare neck, not daring to pull away. "What should I truly know about His Grace?"

His cerulean gaze flickered to your lips, then your decorated lobes. "That he is an undoubted rake, yet possessive of what he deems his."

The prince leant in closer, soft lips brushing the shell of your ear. "Perhaps all you have to do is make him realise this."

Your brows furrowed. "And what makes you think that?"

"We were much thrown together during the late war," he replied, looking past you. "Though I should hesitate to call it friendship."

"You were acquainted in Spain?" Your brows furrowed, leaning closer. "How come nobody knows of this?"

"I like to keep my relationships private," the prince whispered, casting the door a bemused glance. "Unlike a certain bachelor we know."

Footsteps clattered onto the marble ground.

"What are you doing out here?"

Your head turned.

Bunny Iglesias.

"You know it is not safe to wander outside alone." He stepped closer, a smile etching onto his scarred face. But his ruby eyes—they seemed cold. Colder than stone itself.

"I am not alone," you said, tilting your head. "The prince has accompanied me."

You shot the prince a worried glance, who looked almost as confused as you were. Yet his brow flicked as Bunny inched closer, clicking his tongue against his inner cheek.

He seemed to tell the truth about them being rather... distant.

"I would not leave a lady alone, Iglesias," he said, gloved fingers flexing. "I am not like you."

Bunny's hand cupped your shoulder, squeezing a bit harder than he should have. "Greetings to you too, Your Highness."

He smiled—albeit deceptively—and turned to you, pale hair twinkling under the moonlight. "Being alone with another man could ruin you. Let us go inside; your family is looking for you."

"You—" you huffed. "You have no right to say such things."

Bunny cast the prince, who had been cocking a brow at the man, a side glance. "We need not bicker in front of His Royal Highness. At least come inside so I can explain, alright?"

Your eyes darted to Bunny, then the prince, then the prince to Bunny, before your shoulders sagged. Perhaps he had a decent explanation. Perhaps the prince was right, and Bunny truly was a possessive, manipulative rake.

Nonetheless, your eyes met the prince's once more—watching them crinkle in amusement before huffing. "Fine then, amuse me."

Your gloved hand reached out, watching Bunny's face practically melt into relief as he grabbed yours and led you inside of the estate.

Your head turned to the prince, raking over his silken suit to the cutting edge of his jaw. He was a painting of ivory, a deep teal, and the dantiest shade of pink. And he was beautiful, just as the rest of the ton claimed, yet he was not nearly as cold.

He nodded, head bowing towards the ground.

Perhaps all you have to do is make him realise this.

The words rang in your head as you strode up the steps, the implications of his message all too consuming—too tempting.

In the three months you had debuted, a smile had finally graced your lips.

It was the first time you had ever seen a prince dip beneath your gaze.

.

.

.

Dearest gentle reader,

This author finds herself most compelled by this social season's entanglements. The awaited arrival of our royal prince, Sae Itoshi, has been found in plentiful balls—a stark contrast to the bloody battlefields of the late war.

Our prince has never been one for matters of the heart—let alone the bonds of matrimony—yet his eyes are seen wandering every room, every dance, and every whispered secret.

This author wishes to know: is he simply curious about the new debutantes, or have his eyes finally settled on another? It seems our prince requires further inspection indeed.

On the topic of wandering eyes, it seems the Duke of Iglesias has moved on to this season's diamond of the first water. One might expect that a married man should be occupied with properties of the ton and not his frivolous distractions, but this man is not married, and dangerous he is indeed. One must ask: will this social season's debutantes bare their teeth at each other in a bid to secure the cheeky duke? Or shall their interests weaken, discovering much shinier treasure?

Oh, what a scandal! Worry not, my dearest readers; I am certainly as curious as you are.

Yours Truly,

Lady Whistledown.

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.

.

"It is quite obvious what I want."

You tilted your head, dainty fingers pressing into the tough flesh of a pineapple in the orangerie. The heat scorched your hat and gloves, absorbing the radiant warmth of sunlight. A new orangerie had opened at your cousin's estate, where bundles of exotic fruit grew and blossomed using technology so advanced – it was no wonder it could attract a prince.

And so, the prince stood before you, eyes raking over a striking shade of yellow. He cast you a sidelong glance, turning his attention back to the fruits.

Your fingers delicately pressed on your chest, clearing your throat. "I want you. All of you."

A cough erupted from his plump lips, his gloved fist slamming his chest.

"Your attempt at flattery seems much more like desperation." He turned away, fingers brushing the expanse of a bright orange fruit—not quite oranges, but much larger and longer.

“Pfft."

Your eyes drifted to the blonde man with pink tips. He must have been the prince’s supposed right-hand man—a knight so peculiar, rumoured to be picked off the commoner streets and from gambling halls. A servant of yours even claimed that he even worked as an illegal boxing champion, but the mere idea seemed so preposterous you could giggle. Though, now looking at his chiselled face and tan, golden skin, that could have been entirely plausible. He certainly appeared dangerous. Thrill-seeking, even.

"That is a papaya!" A sing-songy voice called out, chin hooking over the prince's shoulder. "It tastes wonderful, Your Highness. Mind if I try a bite?"

"This is a gentleman's estate," the prince snapped, swatting the knight's wandering hand. "Behave."

The blonde's pink eyes met yours—they were sparking wildly, like he had been itching for some kind of ecstasy, and his lids were smudged with some kind of burnt cork, a phenomenon you thought only existed for female entertainers.

You truly learnt new things every day.

"You must be the prince's muse he's been talking about!" His large fingers reached for yours, reaching into the silk of your gloves. "It is most pleasant to meet you."

Before you could react, he inched the fabric off further and further, until his cool lips pressed against the bare skin of your wrist.

My, how scandalous!

A flush crept up your ears. "Excuse you!—"

The sound of a blade whistled through the air, like a diamond's cutting edge. The prince had withdrawn his sword to his right-hand knight, slicing off a piece of his knight's ponytail.

"You are to control yourself, you devil," he huffed. "Do not precariously touch any woman you please, for she is nobility."

The knight smirked against your skin, unhanding you. "Do you really want to do this right now, Your Highness?"

Several attendants and barons looked your way, whispers echoing within the garden's bushes as the prince placed his blade in its sheath. Like the pair had been used to brawling at any given moment.

"Absolutely not. We are in public.”

His cerulean gaze met yours—albeit quite shyly. “I apologise."

You blinked, pushing the fabric of your glove up your wrist as the knight quietly returned to his position beside the prince, a hint of a smile etched on his mischevious lips.

"...It is alright. As I was saying, Your Highness, my mind is quite made up! For it is you that has borne me the fruits, and it is my duty to let them flourish."

He scoffed, quirking a brow. "The fruits that I have borne you were not an invitation to involve me in your engagement. And from what I saw, the issue had already been resolved."

Irritation flared in your chest, recalling the other night's events. "Nothing was resolved. Bunny is truly a man who only thinks of women."

The prince locked eyes with you, scanning every crinkle and every sparkle, and scoffed ever so quietly.

"I told you."

You sighed, fingers drumming against the exotic fruit. "He claimed that his papa had forced him to enchant the season's diamond in place of marrying me."

He furrowed his brows. "For what reason?"

"Status? Reputational affairs? Nonetheless, it's ridiculous. And I refuse to settle for a man who cannot even deny his father's wishes."

The knight peeked from the prince's shoulder once more. "You seem very sure of what you want, Miss. It is quite admirable." 

You tilted your head, graciously lifting your dress and bowing to the man. "Thank you, whatever your name is."

"Ryusei Shidou, but you can call me whatever you wish."

The prince cleared his throat. "Regardless, even if His Grace could not satisfy you with his answer, I still have no reason to be involved in such a liaison."

You clicked your tongue against your cheek. "You have disdain for His Grace, am I right?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"And you must have a hoard of mamas crowding you with marrying off their daughters. Am I also right?"

The prince's gloved fingers rubbed against each other under the heat. "You are not wrong..."

"So, it would be most beneficial towards the both of us," you said. "Our arrangement will shoo away all the mamas while I can secure a marriage this season and remind His Grace of who his heart truly belongs to."

You clenched your fist, pressing it to your chest. "And become the Duchess of Iglesias."

A silence coiled in the humid air.

"She looks determined, Your Highness," Ryusei cooed, a smirk etching on his lips. "Are you truly going to let her down like that?"

"Shush, this is..." The prince's hand dragged down his smooth cheek. "An unnecessary endeavour."

You frowned, lips pursing in anticipation as your eyes locked with his.

"However, I do not wish to enter the marriage mart anytime soon, and the look on Iglesias' face would be..."

For the first time, a raw, open smile graced the prince's lips. A flash of white pearls adorned with the soft plush of his lips. If this were a painting captured, some would say he looked like a madman, a loon, but to you, he was, and always was, delectably intriguing.

Like something you wanted to dissect piece by piece.

His gloved fingers grazed his cheek in a quiet excitement. "His face would be all too amusing to miss."

"...I see," you nodded. "Then our arrangement shall begin tomorrow. We will go promenading every morning and dance together at the next ball."

Ryusei threw his head back in a fit of laughter, eyes darting between the two of you. "That smile! Your Highness, you truly are a barbarian."

The prince stepped forward, shoulder-bumping the knight's. "Hush, brat."

He reached out to you and extended his hand. "May I?"

You nodded.

He pressed his lips to the back of your hand, his long lashes batted against his ivory cheeks, magenta locks cradling the sides of his face.

Your breath hitched; the sight of him was so unnatural it sent tremors down your spine, coiling into your stomach. That the cold prince of Nippon was kneeling before you. Touching you. Kissing your hand.

He quickly let go.

"Well then, it is a pleasure doing business with the future Duchess."

You knew he was being obnoxious, yet you lifted your skirt and curtsied.

"Isn't it? Be amazed, Your Highness."

.

.

.

Perhaps today was a bit rushed. After all, you had no intention to attract this many stares. Though, what were you truly expecting? This was a prince you were talking about. A handsome one at that.

You slung your arm around his, your dress softly flowing as you promenaded along the ton's garden, where whispers of your arm linked with the prince's echoed. The sun cast a warm light over your skin, but the heat beside you...

It was also warm.

The prince coldly glanced at the passerby. "What is so interesting about this garden?"

You tilted your head, scoffing. "Do you not enjoy nature, Your Highness?"

"I enjoy coastal views. The beach. Not this kind of nature."

"Oh? I hear that Spain has beautiful beaches."

His expression faltered.

"...They do."

You jolted. Was that rather insensitive to say? He did fight in the late war in Spain, yet he lived away from home for so long.

Even after the war ended. Even before it started.

"Perhaps I could visit one day, when I am married, of course..." you whispered, perking up. "Or, if I do end up a spinster, I could travel there. Receive noble education."

His chest puffed up. "You seem rather delighted at the idea of spinsterhood."

"I am indifferent towards the matter," you said, eyes fixed on the grass. "It is my duty to marry. Though, if no one would like to..."

"I'm quite certain you have options."

Your gaze swept across the garden, your eyes meeting the surprised stares from various gentlemen, who smiled at you. It was surely because of the bachelor's arm you were on.

You smiled sheepishly.

"Still, if..." you said, head turning to him. "Though I am certain with your help, I will gain freedom as a wedded noble woman."

He hummed in acknowledgement.

"Can I ask you a question, future Duchess?"

A flush crept up your neck as he used that awful nickname. "Of course, but lower your voice."

He paused, following your request. "You seem averse to the idea of a loving marriage."

Your head tilted to face his, which had been staring at you so inquisitively.

A laugh burst out of your lips, gloved fingers pressing to your mouth. "My, are you some kind of secret hopeless romantic, Your Highness?"

His cerulean gaze shifted away. "What kind of conclusion is that?..."

"You seem inclined to the idea of a loving marriage."

He scoffed. "As if I have any interest in marriage. Rather..."

His chest tightened, the bolo tie straining against his chest. "The novels directed towards women are rather full of romance."

The prince paused.

"It's sweet."

Your eyes widened, and you laughed softly. "You read romance novels?"

"A few."

"How come?"

"They're everywhere," he paused. "They're not bad."

"How surprising! You are a hopeless romantic!"

His head turned, the tips of his ears turning a rosy hue. "Stop with that term."

"It is not a bad thing to enjoy romance," you smiled. "It is just fantasy, after all."

"What makes you say that?"

You leant in closer. "If that were true, perhaps I'd be madly in love with the Duke after spending a year under his courtship."

The prince's lips twitched, like he wanted to say something, yet he didn't.

"I do not think it is a matter of love existing; it is just the Duke—"

"But he is handsome, wealthy, and seemingly kind. Why wouldn't I be in love with him if it existed?"

His nose had been scrunched as if he tasted something awful.

Why was he insisting upon something so delusional? Did the prince experience some kind of novel-like romance in the past?

"Love is not about what someone has; it is simply about who they are." He sucked in a sharp breath. "Your idea of love is so shallow."

"Your idea of love is merely overwrought."

"Overwrought? I just believe that love isn't about status." He clicked his tongue against his inner cheek. "It's just... different."

The word sunk deep into your chest. You nodded slowly. "Different how?"

"It’s like... being jolted by lightning. Or getting butterflies. Whatever they call it these days. Do you truly believe it does not exist?"

He blinked at you curiously, even perplexedly.

"Yes, but it is quite alright. Comfort and safety should be the goal, not whatever your metaphors suggest."

The prince laughed. A raw, baffled laugh, lips curving into a soft smile. "Perhaps you are the cold-hearted one between us two."

Your nose scrunched in denial. Offence? Both?

Yet something unfamiliar in your chest stirred. It was a rare sight to behold, and you had the honour of seeing it twice—the prince smiling. Even if it were to mock you.

Feelings like butterflies and lightning or fire did not exist. Marriage was merely an arrangement. A contract of safety and security.

Your eyes flitted to his plump lips.

Right?

.

.

.

This ball was entirely important to your debut as a woman—a lady of the ton, a future mother, and a role of nobility. To be a woman was to decorate oneself in the most precious of jewels, the fanciest of silks, and nonsensical talents for display.

To be a woman was to speak and dance with several eligible bachelors one after the other, assuming they find perfection in you in each one.

To be a woman was to adorn oneself in riches, because though a lady had nothing, she might as well have appeared as if she had everything.

To not be a woman was to scheme with a prince behind the ton's back, because loveless marriages were marriages, not courtships to trap a duke into matrimony.

You could count the suitors you have danced with today on one hand—Lord Karasu Tabito, a man of few words, yet untamed wit. He had an affinity for crows and his best mates, and he was kind and clever, but he did not... He did not feel like he could be yours, and you could be his.

Did such feelings even exist?

Then, there was Lord Otoya Eita. Quite infamous for his penchant for women, yet apathetic and downright shallow. You noticed that he much preferred flirtatious nothings over a conversation with substance just from a single dance with him.

...

Lord Otoya spun you around with the flick of his wrist, bringing you the shell of your ear close to his lips. A brush of deception hidden with affection—a trap, essentially.

"It seems as if our souls were dancing, my lady," he said, like he was whispering a poem. "Would you like to involve our lips next?"

Your nose scrunched.

"I am quite alright, Lord Otoya," you said, lip upturning a fraction—not caring so much if he were to see your sneer.

...

Your dances followed the Earl of Aiku, also named Oliver Aiku—a charming man indeed. He bore a natural talent for leadership and a wise way with words, yet he seemed to view marriage more of an obstacle than the union of two people, of course excluding his time spent raking through the country. And your final suitor was Lord Sendou Shuto, who seemed to speak as if he were chewing food—it was completely and utterly unattractive!

Bunny was on the other side of the room, handing the diamond lemonade without a care in the world. How could he act so cold in a crowd, yet caring in private?

It was maddening, but you had made a mistake.

This was not your final dance.

The Prince of Nippon had made his way into the ball, approaching you. And your senses failed you, lips parting at the sight of his gloved fingers reaching for yours, a touch ever so gentle yet oddly so fabricated.

Several voices whispered to each other, each man and woman, all with their jaws slack and lips pursed.

"Pardon the intrusion. May I have this dance?"

His brows were furrowed; a flush crept up his neck, standing in the centre of a crowd with cruel, nitpicking eyes. He seemed quite shy, like it was his first time indulging in courtship. And yet, he remained.

And he had kept his word! The prince had kept his word!

"Yes," you nodded, eyes darting to Bunny's, who had been watching with a flicked brow. "You may."

The violins wove together a melodious tune, befitting a dance between a prince and a noblewoman—one that competed to become his wife. Though you were not competing to be the object of his affection, and you would never become his wife. Yet your feet wove together to create a wondrous pattern, moving in graceful sync with his, brows furrowing as his lithe fingers reached for your waist, holding you close against his silken suit.

"For a prince, you would be surprised by how rarely I dance."

You stifled a snicker. "Hn, it is not as surprising as you think, Your Highness."

His brows furrowed, lips pursing as his feet moved.

"'Your Highness' will not do," he said. "Call me Sae."

Right, an arranged courtship would not be nearly as convincing if you were to use his royal title.

"Sae," you uttered, testing the word on your tongue. It lingered longer than you expected. "Your lack of dancing is not surprising."

"Is that some kind of veiled insult, future Duchess?"

"It is entirely an insult, Sae."

"Keep speaking, for nonsense suits you, as well."

"I will not hesitate to step on your feet."

He bit back a smile, his head turning to the crowd. "Step on them, then. Make haste before I have to endure this mating ritual any longer."

"Mating? What on earth is mating?" You patted his shoulder once to return his gaze.

"Well, the works of marriage, of course," he said, cerulean eyes glistening with mirth. "It is a word I picked up from my brother, who has an affinity for living things. As long as they are not human."

Mating. Perhaps it is the official union between two people? Was that not the ceremony of matrimony itself?

You yielded, laughing. "Your brother is quite famous on the paper for his skills in knighthood."

"His skills are mediocre. I know of at least fifty capable men that fought in the late war."

His words sounded bitter, hiding a hint of... unease, perhaps pain.

"Did they come back?"

There was a pause.

"...You should not be concerned with such matters; there are more important ones. Such as Iglesias eyeing you."

He gestured to his right, where Bunny had been stationed by the drinks stand. His jaw had been in some kind of slack, and his ruby eyes were wide and fixed on you. In that moment, your stomach churned madly.

Bunny acknowledged you. He stared at you. Did he—

Then, Sae gently spun you around, his free hand resting at your waist and tugging you close. The gesture was graceful, preformed by a prince indeed, and yet—

His lips brushed your ear, his warm breath ghosting over your skin.

"You seem nervous."

A shiver trickled down your neck, breaths so close that they danced together on their own. Sae watched you for a moment; one would even say he was amused.

Amused!

"That is entirely out of the question," you whispered, expelling a soft breath against his lips.

He smiled.

"Yet you look downright flushed."

As the dance commenced, you spun out of his grasp, hand held in his, and returned to your original position. Your arms slung over his broad shoulders, avoiding the crinkle forming between your brows.

"It is merely the nature of this situation."

"Oh? I recall you being eager to be courted by a prince."

You quirked a brow, feet moving in sync with his. "To utter is far simpler than to act."

Sae cast a glance around the crowd, who had been carefully watching your every step, every moment, and every whisper. Judgement and fixation had been the utter nature of the ton. It was a testament to what it meant to be nobility—to be a debutante.

"Unease is part of this arrangement," he said, pulling you an inch closer. "Do not be afraid of their eyes."

Your breath hitched, the heat of your palm slowly encompassing the heat of his. Placing your palms atop one another, your fingers splayed across his much longer ones.

Sae leaned in close, so close that nobody else would hear. "Theirs do not matter. Only mine."

Your steps faltered, stepping out of sync with the violin once as your brows rose in surprise.

"You are no different than Bunny, or Lord Aiku, or even Lord Otoya!" You whispered, falling back into place.

"Hn, I suppose you shall get used to it, future Duchess. As far as I know, Iglesias is far worse than I am."

You frowned.

So why?

The words stuck in your throat.

Why was he so much more daunting?

.

.

.

Dearest gentle reader,

It has been said that of all bachelors, searching or waiting, a rake is most lethal. If that should be true, perhaps the Royal Family should like to spit out their venom. This author investigates a waking scandal within the debutantes and suitors of this social season, uncovering a question that is left unanswered and unresolved: if a suitor is too fickle to evince his devotion to a lady, should she be expected to wait? Or is it only natural for a more daring counterpart to swoop in and claim her heart?

This author finds this question most novel, standing in contrast to the more banal of affairs within the ton. For what diamond of the first water swoons from a suitor that lacks his lustre? And more importantly, what kind of prince takes interest in the most unattainable of ladies? One can only wonder if such a matter is a display of affection or possession.

Oh my, how very convenient indeed.

Yours Truly,

Lady Whistledown.

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.

It had been one month since then.

As one expected of a noble girl, your mornings were spent promenading with Sae, and your afternoons were spent conversing with the various other suitors that could be your husband.

There was no proper sight of Bunny, though. He certainly had been watching, eyes fixed on your figure whenever you walked through a room. And though he had still been courting this season's diamond, his smug smile seemed to falter at your gaze.

Or were you just hoping?

Ever since your last conversation with the Duke, he had not even shared with you a greeting but the turning of his head. There was still the question that he would come back, just as he promised, as he was not wed.

Or again, you were just hoping.

The carriage ride from tonight's ball was a short excursion from Lord Aiku's estate to yours. And after Sae and his driver bickered about your whereabouts inside his carriage, to which the driver implied you were being promiscuous, the time at midnight allowed you inside, seated directly across from him in the dark, enclosed space.

The window was cracked open, moonlight shining through the carriage, and the deafening silence had been pulling at you, tempting you to break it.

"I am getting quite tired of attending all these balls, don't you think?"

Sae's palm had been squished under his cheek, turning to you. "You have been attending these balls for the past year."

"That was because there was a clear objective. Talk to the duke, enchant the duke, get married to the duke." You sighed. "It's getting redundant now. None of the suitors are befitting."

"And you have been properly conversing with them, yes?"

"Certainly. They are either overwhelming or underwhelming for my tastes..."

"Then perhaps you need to let this Duchess fantasy go, hm?" He said, gloved fingers drumming over the carriage's interior. "You are too distracted with His Grace."

"He was promised to me, I—"

"He is clearly unworthy of your affection," he stated calmly, like it was a mere fact. "Find someone better."

"Your advice is so very obtuse..." you bit your inner cheek, staring into the cushions across from you. "I just told you that all the suitors were not for my tastes."

He paused.

"What are your tastes, then?"

"Someone..." you start, "—who knows what they want besides a wife or a mother to their children. Someone ambitious. Someone without distractions."

Sae snickered. "You do not want a close-minded man or a rake. I understand."

"Then again, I seem to believe that most of the men in this ton are of the same branch..." you sighed, palm squishing under your cheek. "How utterly boring."

His brow flicked. "I do not think so."

"You do not?"

"There are a handful of honourable men."

"Honourable men..." The words flow off your tongue. "Yes, there are honourable men."

Men like Lord Sendou, Marquess Yukimiya, and even Lord Karasu. Yet...

"There is something odd about honourable men."

He quirked a brow. "Do tell."

"They become rather... flushed when the topic of children rouses."

Sae's hand pressed to cover the lower half of his eyes, crinkling under the moonlight's embrace. "...I see."

"What is so nerve-wracking about children for men? Is it childbirth? Though I imagine it is far more nerve-wracking for women..."

He coughed into his fist. "Why are you so curious?"

"Because it is an important milestone in marriage," you huffed. "And whenever I ask my family, they dodge every question I throw!"

"I assure you, there is a reason for that," he chuckled.

"What reason, then?"

"It is not my place to tell you."

"You are a man who clearly knows something I do not," you leaned in. "Plus, this whole thing is fake, anyway. You do not have to worry about ruining me."

Sae's cerulean eyes sparked with something like amusement, a dangerous one indeed, before blinking it away. "I have always prided myself on being a gentleman, and I would like to keep it that way."

"Oh, come on," you whined, nudging his foot. "One little explanation will not ruin me."

His foot nudged you back—a gentle kick to your flats. Meeting your eyes once, he sighed.

"Do you remember when I called ballroom dances a mating ritual?"

You paused. "Yes."

"Mating is the proper word for... the act of having children."

Your eyes widened a fraction. "And what is the act of having children?"

"I will not say the word, but I suppose I can describe it." He paused. "It is pleasurous, which is why so many men are drawn to it."

You leaned in close, your lips parting in anticipation. "And?"

"It is a culmination of intimate touches, and..." He leaned in closer—a secret only you could hear. "Love, if that is what your marriage is founded on."

Love.

"But if not founded on love, then the desire to bear children. And the desire to bear children is founded on..."

His gloved fingers snaked around your wrist, gently leading your hand down.

Down.

Down to your crotch, sectioned between the warmth between your legs. One that grew more and more aching with each second. Your breath hitched, though your fingers only touched your dress. Only touched the silk—

"The need for pleasure. Right here."

You met a drowning pool of cerulean that gazed at you, rivulets of lightning charging the air.

"So... what exactly happens here?" you asked, eyes wide.

"Your husband would touch you—I mean, you could also touch yourself, but..." He flushed ever so slightly. "Marriage is a union between two people, yes?"

You nodded.

"You unite their lives, hearts, and money, and in this case..."

Sae leaned in, breath brushing your ear. You could not see him. You could not feel him despite the hand wrapped around your wrist. You could not touch him.

So why?

Why did his words ignite into your skin?

"You unite your bodies," he whispered, pulling away a fraction. "Does that make sense?"

Sae let go of your wrist, eyes locked onto yours, waiting for an answer.

You only had more questions.

"So..." you murmured, fingers snaking towards him. "If my pleasure is founded here, and you have to unite bodies, is your pleasure..."

Your fingers grazed his breeches, palm pressing into the spot between his legs. It felt much different than what you had—twitchy, quite squishy, and...

Hard?

"Is your pleasure founded here?"

His breath hitched, gloved fingers closing over yours. "Fuck."

Sae's words and actions were so utterly obscene, and the heat on your palm grew by the second, stiffening in your hold. You had never seen anything so nasty and raw. Not his flushed, brow-scrunched face or the tremble of his lips. Not the warmth between his legs—and certainly not the warmth between yours. Yet—

The carriage came to a quick stop, jolting you onto him. "Your Royal Highness, we have arrived!"

He panted, removing your hand. "Go. Make haste before anyone sees you."

You pulled away, vision hazy and breath rampant. Your heart thudded in your chest, like it could jump out at any given second. The prince was right—any passerby could see you and ruin you.

And it would not be unjust.

You fumbled for the carriage door, fingers trembling as you gave Sae one final look.

"Goodnight, Sae."

His fingers were pressed to his temple, his eyes shut and his breath hitching.

"...Go."

The words rang in your head.

Go.

And so, you threw the door open and scrambled out.

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.

This is truly not the kind of night Sae expected to spend on a Saturday.

The next day would fall on Sunday—a day of rest from his paperwork, the land he oversaw, and rebuilding his body to endure any hardship thrown his way. On a regular Saturday night, he would enjoy drinking with Lord Aiku, begrudgingly Lord Sendou, and even his faithful knight, Ryusei, however...

You beamed next to him, arm slung around his, promenading in the dark field of the royal palace.

This was not quite the place Sae would have expected, yet he did not mind as much as he should have.

"Why is the ton out so late?" He scowled. "This celebration cannot be that important."

"Sae," you turned to him, brows furrowing. "This is the celebration of your brother debuting as an official royal knight!"

He huffed. "He is a prince. Not a knight."

"You are the heir to the throne, anyway. Becoming a knight shall not hurt anyone."

"—Besides himself."

It was true. All young knights start off ambitious to protect their nation. It is only reasonable—expected, even. There was a dark truth about knighthood that little Rin just did not seem to understand: the battlefield reeked of death, and every cry, every torturous scream, will haunt you.

Yet another memory, far less harrowing and violating than the war, refused to leave him.

Your palm pressed against him.

He did not want to speak about the matter; in fact, a flush began to creep up his neck at the mere thought. You were...

Curious, too much so for your own good. And if any other man was in his place, you would have been ruined.

He sighed. What a fool he had agreed to court. Fake court.

You turned to him, bottom lip jutting out a fraction. "Be happy for him. Some brother you are..."

His gaze raked over your figure, pampered in the fanciest of silks and jewels as always. You were beginning to grow on him—his most bejewelled parasite. After all, you two had quite the symbiotic relationship.

"Don't tell me how to handle my brother. You have clearly never seen the situations of death he put me through as boys."

You pressed your fist to your lips, laughing softly. "That must have been demanding for you!"

"You have no idea."

He turned to the sky—a dark shade of midnight as the stars faintly twinkled under the moonlight. The air was warm, yet it wasn't so bothersome.

Tonight.

It was a sight to behold.

You gasped excitedly. "Did you know the Queen is holding a surprise for the new knight?"

"Oh? And she did not tell me..." he squinted. "But of course, the rest of the ton already know."

Sae paused, turning to you, who was too fixated on the glimmering stars to respond. Or even listen, he assumed.

He squinted again. "What is the surprise?"

You did not turn to him—did not even spare him a glance. "Fireworks."

Fireworks?

Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no.

This was troublesome.

"What?" His brows pinched together as he leaned close. "Since when?"

"Since yesterday. It is not my first time seeing fireworks, but I am still quite excited."

His breath began to hitch, his heart thudding against his chest. "When are they coming?"

You clicked your tongue against your cheek, the back of your hand swatting his chest. He pulled back, coughing into his fist.

He had been far too close to you.

"It should be very soon. What? There are no fireworks in Spain?"

Spain had plenty. He could practically feel the heat shattering against his skin—the explosions booming against his eardrums.

The whistle. The cries.

Their cries.

"I... should excuse myself," he panted, head frantically turning in every direction.

"But they're just about to start—"

A loud, booming voice declared.

"To the celebration of our new royal knight, Itoshi Rin!"

The crowd cheered vehemently, their hands raising towards the sky. A chant of celebration, pride, and happiness. Happiness to Rin. His family. His name. The new, royal knight—

The new royal knight. Rin could not possibly be a new royal knight. He was going to die—

An earsplitting boom exploded into the air, following the shatter of a bright orange explosion.

He was going to die. The screams were going to erupt. Their hearts would collapse. The air would turn an unbreathable mess of dirt and grime. Death. It was approaching.

Not again. Not again.

"It is truly beautiful— Sae?"

You turned to him, leaning close. "Sae? Are you alright?"

His throat burnt, chest heaving against the clothes that were suddenly too hot—too itchy for him. He did not answer. He could not answer. "W-Wait—"

Your fingers softly pressed against his trembling shoulder, causing him to you—eyes wide and fixed on him.

This time, you asked softer. "Sae?"

An orange light was cast upon your skin, gleaming softly. Your jewellery glimmered under that light—that forsaken light.

It would overtake you.

His heart slammed against his ribs, his eyes darting to your skin, your eyes, your lips, the stones adorning your—

"Stay still," he panted. "Do not move. It'll be alright, I promise."

Sae's breath could not catch up with his words, shaking fingers reaching out to you. "I will protect you."

Your brows furrowed. "Protect me? I am alright—"

He leaned closer, a trembling hand shielding your face from the sight. From the explosion. From death. "Are you certain?"

You paused, fingers stilling against his suit.

"Are you certain?" Sae pressed forth, heaving against you. "Are you certain? You're certain?..."

Your fingers reached out to his, gently leading his palm to cover a spot on your chest, where—

Your heart. It was beating against him. It was wild, yet you stood.

You were alive.

"I am alright," you whispered. "I am breathing."

He paused, swallowing thickly, processing his words and his thoughts. You were alive. You were safe.

Your brows furrowed, squeezing tighter. "I am safe."

The noises began to simmer—melting into the sea of people cheering and celebrating with their families. They were loud; they boomed and shattered against his ears. Yet, death—

Was it approaching? Would it dare?

His gaze raked over you: your unblinking eyes, your heaving chest, your trembling fingers.

You were alive.

Sae expelled a breath he didn't realise he was holding, leaning so close—impossibly close—that his nose brushed against yours and the heat of your skin melded into his.

"Stay still," he whispered. "Right here."

You blinked, lashes fluttering against his own. The noises would be drowned out if you stayed close. You would be safe if he willed it. The heat of you encompassed him, and his heart began to slow down. It still beat wildly, but not dangerously.

It was a different kind of danger.

His stomach fluttered, gaze meeting yours.

You knew that too, didn't you?

Sae's palm immediately retracted, stepping away from you in frantic steps. "You—"

You stepped away, lashes batting against your cheeks. Your fingers were trembling at your sides, reaching to press against your chest—the spot he just palmed.

"That was—"

He caught your gaze, eyes wild and utterly bewildered as you both turned away, cheeks flushed.

He wanted to retort, to defend himself, his hand clutching his chest. This was ridiculous. You were ridiculous. You were utterly insane for making him touch you like that!

Sae's heart had already steadied. He had been sure of it.

So why?

Why did it pound against his chest like that?

.

.

.

"I want to cancel this arrangement."

The words echoed in the chill in the Royal Palace's garden. Sae stood across from you, his head tilted to the floor. Stoic, as always, yet he seemed like he was hiding something.

He was, wasn't he?

"Why?"

Your fingers flexed at your sides, not daring to tear away from his cerulean gaze. Even if it was distant. Even if his actions did not match his words. Sae must have had his reasons. He would've had to.

His hands clenched into fists. "I have neglected my commitments in Spain, so I am heading back next week."

His words cut through the misty air.

You had many questions—one of confusion, anger, understanding, and... hurt.

Why did this hurt?

Why was he leaving? Why couldn't he stay? What commitment or business or contract could possibly be so important to leave? He had just come back.

"But..." Your throat burnt. "Why?"

He scoffed, turning his head to the side.

"I am a knight. Not a knight accompanying the palace, but this country. I have duties."

"The war is over."

"You cannot be certain."

Your gaze met his, and for once, for the first time, the prince looked cold-hearted. His icy, pale skin along with the pink tips of his hair. And his frigid gaze, shifting away from yours.

He was cold.

Something bitter twisted in your stomach. It pulled at you, grated at you, and warned you. You did not want an answer—not even the truth, just one, sweet lie.

"...You want to leave?"

He paused.

"Yes."

A long silence stretched between the two of you, accompanied by the soft mist coiling in the air and the winds softly blowing the flowers in the garden. This palace was Sae's; it was not your own, and it was beautiful, but—

When your eyes settled on his, it had seemed the flowers had lost their sparkle. And suddenly, your stomach twisted into knots, an unfamiliar burning sensation tugging at your heart.

It ached.

The thought of Sae leaving to Spain bothered you. Matter of fact, it distressed you.

"But I..." you said, beginning to frantically pace across the grass. "But I do not want you to!"

Sae clicked his tongue against his inner cheek. "It is not a matter of what you want!"

His eyes were wide and his chest heaved, his voice straining against his throat to lower. "It is what I want."

Sae could not possibly wish to leave, for he had just arrived here in the ton—his home—and it was ever so lovely. Why could he not see that it was lovely here? Why could he not see that being with him was lovely?

Why did he have to ruin this?

You paused, turning to him.

"Is that truly what you want?"

His brow quirked, taking a step back. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"I think you may be right, Sae." You take a step closer, cornering him. "About your thesis. Your theory."

Your heart ached as your eyes met his. "I do not want you to leave. It is a selfish reason, but I want you to stay. Right here."

A flush crept up your neck. "Is that love I'm feeling?"

His gloved fingers pressed to his temple, a scoff escaping his throat.

"What are you talking about?"

What were you talking about? Your mouth seemed to move before your brain could think, and perhaps your words did not come from your brain at all. It came deep down to the beating of your heart.

It thudded.

"...The lightning that strikes me when we touch."

Your fingers twitched, wondering what it would be like to interlace yours with his. You cannot help but zero in at his quivering digits, pressed to his temple.

You cannot help but wonder if he was thinking the same thing.

"...Or the fluttering in my stomach when you come close."

You take a bold step closer, lips twitching as he does not move back.

"Is that merely a physical feeling?" You tilted your chin up, facing him. "Or is it something more? Something overwrought?"

The tips of Sae's ears flushed pink, his bottom lip trembling. "You're— You're doing it again."

"Really?" You leaned close, brows pinched in determination. "Is that what this is?"

"This was merely an arrangement," he punctuated, his head turning. "An act to make your swain envious. He is clearly attracted to you, for he cannot take his eyes off you."

Sae paused, swallowing thickly. "So it is done. We are done with this arrangement. This fake relationship—"

"—How could you call this fake?!"

You paused, your throat burning. "Besides the balls and the dancing and the promenading. How is any of this fake?"

Your chest strained against your dress, vision beginning to blur—an endeavour you wished would never happen. Not like this. Not in front of him.

Sae panted, his hand gesturing to the side. "It is fake! The..."

A dreadful silence encompassed the air.

His hand fell limp to his side, his chin tilting to the grass once more.

"...I must go."

He began to trudge forth, his shoulder brushing yours. And unexpectedly, you followed.

"Curse me for a century or damn me to hell. Call me hysterical for saying what we had was real. You do not have to accept it; you do not even have to think about it or take responsibility. You just have to know it."

You panted, slamming your palm to your chest—as if something feral were going to burst out.

"That I've never felt this way about anyone else. Not Bunny or any other suitor. Only you."

Sae pressed his fingers to his temple, heaving as each word tumbled from your lips. "Please, I cannot—"

"Tell me it was fake. Tell me it was nothing more than an arrangement. Tell me."

Silence pierced the garden as Sae's arms fell from his temples, dead weight at his sides.

He turned, looking so utterly broken—any sparkle or emotion was completely void from his eyes.

Yet in that void, there was a hint of pain.

"...It hurts."

"What hurts?"

"Leaving home. Leaving my baby brother, my family, my country—"

A hiccup echoed in the cold air of the garden, followed by the glassy tears pricking Sae's eyes. It was the first time you had seen him so hurt. So pained. So fragile.

"The men I called friends. The dawning weight that I was going to lose."

He bit his bottom lip, tears slipping down the ivory slopes of his cheeks.

"That I was going to die."

Your head shook. "Sae—"

"I had been living like a dead man almost a decade ago. When I came back alive, it felt like a victory as much as it felt like being stabbed in the gut," he said, lip trembling. "And I swore I had died years ago. That I was a shell of a man—a void of a heart."

"So why?" Sae's palm pressed against his wet eyes. "Why do I feel this way with you?"

Your eyes softened at his desperate words, hands falling to your sides.

"When fireworks shoot into the sky, I am pulled out of damnation into this nightmare of a life," he continued. "They explode and shatter—the noise is all too consuming, all too much."

Sae pressed his palm to his heart, fingers scrunching into the fabric. "But when you consoled me, I swore I had met salvation."

He trembled, yet continued.

"At first I figured you must be some kind of angel, but I was wrong. You... You ask too many questions. You laugh in places that are inappropriate to. You cry at my foolish words." He panted, expelling a harsh breath that coiled into the misty air. "You feel so real, so kind, that I'm afraid I might taint you."

Sae's fingers—cold and smooth—reached for yours, cupping your skin like you were glass. "So please, marry Bunny. He is wealthy, stable, and will give you a secure life. One filled with children and happiness."

He squeezed.

"Can you do that for me? Can you choose yourself?"

You sniffled, tears threatening to spill from your eyes. "I am choosing myself. I am choosing you."

He shook his head.

"No. No, you're not."

Marriage was supposed to be merely an arrangement. A contract of safety and security. It was not loving, not the burning kind of ache for one another. It was supposed to be stagnant.

Marry Bunny. Marry Sae.

Two completely different sentences, each foreign to the other.

One made perfect sense.

The other made your heart burn.

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.

.

Dearest gentle reader,

It is often said that best wishes are given to those who have earned it. This author questions that statement, but make no mistake, for it is my pleasure to announce the official betrothal of the Duke of Iglesias and his soon-to-be lady!

Some may have questions, but this author never doubts. If there is a suitor that has been so reckless to have let an emerald slip through his fingers, then he should throw on his boots and make haste. Yet, something tells this author that the ton’s favourite bachelor is not a man who loses fights.

The fight is still on, my dear readers, with the question of true love or scandal.

Yours Truly,

Lady Whistledown.

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Sae doesn't know why he ran.

Yet he only clutched the paper tighter in his grasp, boots colliding onto the expanse of the soil beneath his soles.

And he ran, and he will run again if it means reaching you.

.

.

.

The golden double doors of your estate burst open.

"I apologise."

Your head spun, eyes wide and fixed on the figure in front of you. Sae's hands had been perched on your doorframe, chin tilted to the marble flooring. An utterly dishevelled mess of magenta locks, hooded cerulean eyes, and the pompous chaos of his silken suit.

A striking colour of raven that strained at his chest with each heavy breath, contrasting the ivory column of his neck—

"Y-Your Royal Highness!"

Your head attendant bowed awkwardly, tilting her head to face him. "A-Are you here for?—"

His gaze met yours.

A single shade of teal that set your heart on fire.

"A word," he said, unmoving.

Your attendant's eyes darted from his to yours, forcing a laugh. "Then we must set up the common room."

You remained still, lips parting at his disarray. He was a bastard. A fool. A liar and a prick.

Still, your heart thumped against your ribcage.

"No," you tore your gaze away, darting to the floor. "He only needs a word."

"My lady, that is highly inappropriate—"

Your hands curled into fists at your sides. "It is alright. It is only a word."

"You mustn't."

Your attendant softly touched your shoulder, eyes drowning in worry. Pity, almost. Like she knew what kind of fiery dispute occurred between a suitor and his muse.

It was fake. It was all fake.

Your attendant could not stop royalty if she wished. Not even if it was against the rules for an ill-mannered debutante. Yet Sae bit his tongue, stilled at the door.

And she was giving you a choice. It weighed on you. Desire or discipline.

Your fingers slid into his, tugging softly before turning to her. "A word, Madame. Only a word."

You pushed your index to your lips—a vow of silence—and rushed up the stairs.

"Haven't you done enough?" you quipped, fingers tugging on his. "An unprompted entrance to my family's estate. Looking like that!"

Your cheeks burnt a faint shade of pink, hiding away as you led him up the stairs.

"I— I haven't been honest with myself."

"I know."

"You know?"

"Everyone can see but you."

Your fingers twitched against his gloved ones, a thought lingering in your head—one of sweetness, guiding Sae through a lush garden and interlacing hands with his.

You let go, halting at your bedchamber's hallway. "It does not matter, anyway. Speak."

"I..." Sae paused. "Would you look at me?"

"How can I?" you bit your inner cheek, your hands curling into fists.

His fingers reached for yours, his voice softening a fraction. "Just one look."

Within unhurried seconds, you turned to him, hand flinching.

Sae looked utterly uneased. It almost made you laugh.

"Do not marry him."

"What?"

"Do not marry him."

"You were the one begging me to marry the Duke."

"That is because I thought—" He paused, swallowing thickly. "I thought he was better for you."

"I do not belong to you. You cannot auction me off to the nearest man when you deem me inconvenient. And you cannot just demand me back—"

"I do not wish to own you," he cut through. "I do not own you. This is simply the consequence of my own foolish actions."

"I have mistaken my desire for you. I thought desire was just desire. That it could go away once..." Sae paused, a gloved hand running through his light hair. "You find someone that will make you happy."

You ground your teeth against each other slowly.

How audacious.

"And you believe you can make me happy?"

"I want to."

"You do not know anything. You did not even ask me. Because I am getting what I wanted from the beginning. I am going to be a duchess!"

You stomped, huffing as you turned away.

"...Is that truly what you want?"

Your head pounded in your chest as Sae whispered the words. The same words you had whispered to him when he turned away from you. It was hypocritical. It was ever so daring!

But it was raw. It was ever so raw coming from him.

"What do you think it is that I want, Sae? Is it status? An easy, loveless marriage? To raise a family that I do not know?"

You stepped closer, heaving as your breath mingled with his. "What do you think I want?"

"I know you want..." He leaned closer, swallowing thickly. "Intelligence. A man with his own two feet. And..."

"Do you think I want you?"

He paused as you repeated. "Do you think I want you, Sae?"

You were provoking him. Testing his limits with the spar of your voice. It was maddening to see him in such a state, hidden away from the rest of the ton, only for your eyes. Only for your touch.

It was only a matter of time before he yelled.

A searing fire within your heart wished to see him in such a state.

"You are a liar and a fraud of a man," you said. "And I do not want to hear such foolishness in my estate—"

Sae dropped to his knees, chin tilted to the floor.

"Forgive me."

His fingers trembled at your feet. "I do not know where to begin... yet I hope you find it in your gentle heart to forgive me."

"Sae, you must get up." A flush crept up your neck as your fingers hovered near his head. "You're embarrassing yourself—"

His hand caught yours, pressing his cool lips to the warmth of your palm. "Forgive me. Forgive me, for I am at your mercy... And I will do whatever it takes to win you back."

His lips continued tracing a fiery path in your palm, twisting your stomach into knots.

"Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me..." he whispered, the hushed words melting into your skin.

God, what was he doing?

No one had ever begged for you before, let alone a prince. It was frightening—maddening, almost. And remnants of mercy fluttered into your chest.

What was it? Pity?

"Please..." His eyelids fluttered shut, his cheek nuzzling into the warmth of your palm.

"What has gotten into you?" You stammered, head spinning. "Give me— Give me some time—"

"Do you know how I realised what it is I feel for you?"

You paused, swallowing thickly. "N-No."

"My heart, it... it wants to jump out of my chest when I am near you. It aches and burns—and I feel how hard I'm breathing and I realise—"

He panted softly, breath fanning your skin. "I am alive. I am alive and I love you."

You paused, almost winced at the words.

Love? Love was what he was admitting right now?

Love did not scare you. It did not even do so much as evoke a laugh. But the words seeped deep into your skin, right into your blood and pumped into the veins leading to your heart.

Your heart, yes, it could jump out at any moment.

Did you love Sae?

"I love you so much that I cannot breathe when I am near you, but when we are apart, I find it far worse. So do not marry Bunny. His heart does not ache like mine does. His breath does not hitch at your presence. And—"

He hid his face in your palm. "You did not save him like you saved me."

Your heart clenched.

"Sae," your thumb rubbed slow circles on his cheek. "I do not..."

His lips continued their path along your palm, trembling against your skin. "You have already saved me once, so please save me once more."

"My saviour."

His wet lashes fluttered against your skin.

"My hero."

He squeezed tighter.

"My love."

He pressed a final kiss to your palm.

Silence echoed in the hallway of your estate. Sae leaned on you gently, like you were fragile. It was almost humorous, really, because he was.

Your breath hitched, fingers shakily reaching to cup his damp cheeks. "Sae, do not cry."

Your lips trembled, thumbs stroking his tears away.

"I love you too."

.

.

.

You barely make it to your bedchamber with Sae pressed against you.

Whatever magical feeling the romance novels claimed kissing to be—they had been right—it was a burning sensation that curled down your spine and between your legs.

Sae licked a soft stripe up the seam of your lips, lashes batting against your own. "You're doing good… just part your lips for me, hm?"

You whined softly as Sae's tongue swiped across yours, thumbs stroking your jaw—brushing across your pulse.

Your head hit the wall as you leaned back, pressing into your bedchamber's wall.

"You sure know how to kiss, hm? Where'd you learn that? Did Bunny teach you?" His voice shook slightly, hands squeezing you a fraction tighter.

You mewled, your fingers wrapped around his wrists. "No, why would he—"

"Fuck." He leaned close, lips searing over yours. "You're right, why would he? C'mere. Don't let go."

His hands slid from your jaw to the underside of your thighs, pressing you against the wall. Your eyes squeezed shut as he carried you with no strain, arms loosely wrapping around his shoulders.

His lips traced down the column of your neck. "Aren't you perfect?"

He pressed a wet kiss on the juncture of your neck, tongue darting out to lick the spot.

"Oh my god, Sae— That feels—"

"Good?"

His eyes were hooded as he sucked your skin into his mouth, bruising it. "Mm..."

A tingle rushed down your chest as his teeth grazed your neck—slow enough to keep you guessing, yet deep enough to keep you squirming.

Your head gently hit the wall, throwing back in the weird, shivery feeling.

“Keep going,” you panted. “Oh. Sae…”

His tongue licked a stripe down your collarbone, gloved fingers fumbling with your chest piece. Hands cupping over your breast, he let out a low whine into your chest as he squeezed tenderly—almost reverently.

“Can I—” he huffed, hooded eyes gleaming under the glow of the lamp. “Can I take this off?”

Your thumb traced the line of his jaw, your lips pressing a messy kiss to his cheek. “Undress me, Sae.”

Your lips trailed down his jaw down to the column of his neck, teeth sinking into the supple skin as his shaky hands tugged the fabric of your dress down. “Wanna feel you everywhere.”

He pulled away, lips twitching as his cerulean eyes raked over your exposed chest.

“Everywhere, hm?” Sae whispered, his teeth pinching the tip of his glove off. “All mine?”

The words melted into your brain—too hazy to think properly. Act properly.

“All yours.”

You whined as he buried his face in your chest, his cheek nuzzling the soft fat. “Mine.”

His lips latched onto your sensitive skin, his tongue and teeth tracing a pattern along your breasts.

You were on fire. You were on fire, and it seared the ache between your legs.

Sae let out a low gasp, mouth sealing a kiss around a tightened nipple. “All mine.”

His tongue licked up the bud before swirling his tongue around, groaning softly into your chest, which you could only describe as a chant so bewildering and wanton.

“Mine. Mine. Mine.”

It was truly obsessive. So obsessive that you could melt right here.

You arched into him, your eyes squeezing shut. “S-Sae!”

"Sh—shh," he hummed, tongue flattening over the tender bud. “Tell me if it's too much.

His cheeks hollowed as he sucked fervently, a jolt of lightning rushing into your bones. Too much was a request. Too much was an understatement.

“T-Too much s’not enough!”

You craned your head back as he flicked his tongue over the bud again and again, teeth grazing the sensitive skin.

“Wanna bite you,” he whispered, his hand squeezing your untouched breast. “Wanna kiss you.”

His fingers brushed over your untouched nipple as he murmured the words, thumb and forefinger pinching the stiffened bud, the pressure increasing with each blissful second.

You panted, your chest huffing up and down.

“Do you want to—  Do you want to do that thing people do when they love each other?”

Your gaze fleeted to Sae’s, unhurried and panting, your words hanging thick in the air.

“I—”

He paused, his ears reddening.

“Are you certain?”

Your cheeks flushed, your lips pursing into a frown. You were not just certain; you were almost begging. 

You could beg. You could, yet— 

Sae dropped to his knees, his hand cupping your own. “I won’t disappoint you, princess.”

His lips pressed to the warmth of your palm—slow and chaste—like when he formerly pleaded for your affection. Only this time, his low-lidded gaze was locked onto yours, and the heat of his tongue seared your skin, licking a stripe up your palm.

“Wanna taste you,” he whispered, fingers wrapping yours as he pressed his lips to your tips. “Wanna feel you shake against me.”

His other hand traced up your bare calf, his fingers playing with the hem of your dress. “May I, Your Highness?”

Sae’s head tilted, his eyes gleaming in a quiet mischief. 

Your breath caught in your throat, your trembling fingers etched into the frills of your dress as you hiked it up. “You… You may.”

His fingers wrapped around your ankle, delicately raising your calf to his lips as he pressed wet, messy kisses up your skin.

“Mm…” His tongue licked a stripe up your calf, his lashes batting against your skin. 

“J-Just—” You paused, your cheeks flushing. “Is it unrefined if I ask a question?”

“Are you my prisoner?” He quirked a brow, cheek nuzzling your thigh as he hiked your leg over his shoulder. “No. Go on.”

A flush crept up your neck, your fingers pressed over his shoulders. “W-Why are you down there? On your knees.”

He paused, his eyes darting to your covered mound. “I said I wanted to taste you.”

“That’s what you meant by tasting?!” 

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t desire,” he whispered, his hand smoothing over your outer thigh. “But from what I'm seeing, you’re soaked.”

Suddenly, your brain only registered that Sae was inches away from your bare mound under your chemise.

“That is—” You gasped as he pressed a kiss to your inner thigh.

“So pretty, right?” His lips traced a path along the sensitive skin. “Could just eat you up.”

The back of your hand pressed to your lips as his head dipped between your thighs, disappearing under the weight of your dress.

He was everywhere. Everywhere yet nowhere to be found as he licked a stripe up your cunt.

“S-Sae!” You mewled, your hand steadying at his covered head.

“Fuuuck,” he drawled, his tongue stroking a particularly sensitive spot that twitched and poked out.

You were too sensitive. Too twitchy to even think straight.

“S-Sae, oh my—” You tried to squeeze your thighs shut, moaning when he pressed them apart. “Too much!”

“Too much?” He panted against your wet heat, his lips pressing to your inner thigh. “Thought you said s’not enough.”

Not enough. Not enough, but he was too close, breath mingling with your cunt. You huffed, biting back another moan as he buried his face between your thighs—mouth hovering over your sticky mound.

“Go slow,” you squirmed. “It's a lot.”

His lips curved into a smile over your mound, his tongue running a slow, agonising stripe from your hole to the twitchy spot.

“Slow and gentle are two different things,” he huffed, his tongue swirling around the aching bud. “Fuck.”

You gasped, your hips squirming from his face as his lips wrapped around the spot. “S-Sae! What is that?”

“Your clit,” he murmured into your heat, the vibrations sending tremors into a building fire in your lower stomach. “It’s poking out.”

Your head threw back, the heel of your foot digging into his back as he slurped your clit into his mouth, tongue lashing up and down the sensitive bud. You were so sensitive that you could die pressed up against this wall. So sensitive that you could not stand— 

“You’re shaking,” Sae heaved, pressing a wet kiss to your aching clit. “C’mere.”

His other arm hooked under the leg you were standing on, hiking it over his shoulder so you were completely and utterly pressed against the wall to his mercy—to his face buried between your thighs.

“Sae!” You moaned as his tongue began to lap at your folds, running along your labia before diving for your clit, wrapping his lips around the bud to suck fervently.

Your fingers dug into your dress as he sucked, obscene wet noises filling your bedchamber. You could not close your legs if you willed, and the pressure building had been so intense that you could burn right here, but your hips bucked into his face, chasing his wet kisses.

“M'gonna die!” You mewled as he slurped your clit into his mouth so hard his cheeks hollowed out.

“You’re not gonna die,” he whispered, sloppily kissing your cunt into his mouth, slurping your juices. “You’re gonna cum. And that’s normal, hm?”

You whined as he seared his mouth over your cunt, his tongue lashing out at your poor, soaked folds.

“Mm,” the vibrations pressed to your clit sent tremours to the ache in your stomach as he patted your outer thigh. “M’talking to you, hm?”

“C-Cum?” You murmured, your head dizzying. “M’gonna cum.”

“Not yet,” he groaned into your cunt, his chin dipping to lick at your twitchy hole. “Not done with you yet.”

His tongue stabbed into your hole, angling so that it lashed at a certain sensitive spot—sending tremors up your spine. It was rather intrusive, yet so divine at the same time. “Oh, Sae!”

Sae doubled down, burying his face so deep between your thighs like he wished to die in your cunt. Your head only continued to spin, your thighs trembling as he never relented, only licking up at the sweet spot. “I-I…” You gasped, an airy whine tearing from your throat. “I can’t!”

“Shh,” he huffed into your cunt, pressing his face impossibly deeper. “Fuuuck.”

Sae’s tongue pressed as deep as it could into your cunt—well, as deep as he could continue breathing with your thighs clamped onto his head. “M’gonna cum!” His jaw slacked, his tongue snaking out of your hole to slowly lick up your folds. “Gonna cum? Just from this?”

“Mhm! M’gonna… Ah…”

His tongue swirled all the way back to your clit, lashing up and down and planting sloppy kisses on the bud; his fingers meshed so deep in the flesh of your thighs. “Haah, aren’t you dirty?”

Your head lolled to the side, your breath catching just in time to answer. “W-What?”

Sae slurped your clit into his mouth momentarily, just to feel you thrash before sputtering against your folds. “I-I always thought you were the slutty kind, but I didn’t think you were this bad.”

Your brows furrowed against the sweat beading at your temples. “W-What kind of prince are you—”

He softly nipped at your clit, harshly licking the bud.

“Sae!”

You panted, your thighs quivering as you steadied yourself against the wall. 

“Gonna cum, right?” He gasped, pressing sloppy, open-mouthed kisses to your clit. “Cum. I’ll be right there with you.”

Your thighs trembled in his holds, his hands soothing you with soft squeezes to your ass. The fire burnt too much—too long—and you were going to explode at any second.

His lips wrapped around your bud once last time, fingers snaking to your cunt, where his middle finger inched in.

Your eyes blew open as he inserted a digit into your aching hole, your fingers digging into your dress. It was so deep and reached parts you never knew existed, his finger curling into a sweet, burning spot.

And Sae slurped your clit into his mouth one last time—hard.

“S’good!” You managed to mewl out, your hips bucking into his mouth. “Sae!”

Something euphoric gushed out of you onto Sae’s face, which was soiled from your slick and his spit. Still, he shoved his face deeper into your cunt, his tongue lashing at your folds as your hips continue to buck.

It was so utterly blissful. He was so utterly blissful. 

After your hips bucked into his face, your breathing slowed and his tongue became scorching hot, dragging all over your folds.

Your eyes blew open. “S-Sae, enough.”

He whined into your cunt before pulling away, his damp forehead pressing against your thigh. “Too much?”

You hummed, patting your dress. “Mhm. May I see you?”

Silence cut through the air.

“—You may not,” he said, muffled under your dress.

“Why?” You giggled. “I want to see you.”

You were already rolling the hem of your dress up before he muttered. “I’m a mess.”

Your eyes widened as you lifted your dress, seeing Sae’s face covered in fluids. Covered, as in soiled. “You certainly look like one.”

Your fingers inched towards his ivory skin, gleaming under the candles in your room. “You’re beautiful, Sae.”

You softly cupped his cheek. He leaned into your palm, cheek nuzzling the skin as he remained on his knees. “You think so?”

“You’re beautiful.” Your thumb swiped at the slick under his eye before giggling. “How does such a thing get here?”

“How can you be so relaxed after making a mess in my mouth?”

You snorted. “How can you be so confident after kneeling for a mere lady?”

“You’re no mere lady. You’re going to be a princess.” He leaned into you, shuffling to his feet as he pressed his lips to yours. “Hm?”

“Mhm,” you giggled, your fingers clenching into his dress shirt. “A princess.”

Sae caught your lips again, his soaked tongue flicking over yours before pulling away. “You do not understand the weight of my words, don’t you?”

His eyes glimmered in amusement as you snickered. “No, no, of course I do. I am going to be… a princess.”

The words died on your tongue as he leaned in close, his breath brushing against your cheek. “And what do princesses do, hm?”

He set you on your feet, gripping your hips as he whispered.

“They turn around.”

You were spun to face the wall in a matter of seconds, your hands steadying on the wood. Sae’s hands were clasped over your hips, his thumb rubbing slow circles over the fabric of your dress.

His breath ghosted the shell of your ear. “Do you remember that night in the carriage?”

You swallowed thickly, nodding slowly. “What about it?”

“Did you listen to me?” His nose brushed your neck, his defined arms wrapping tight around your waist. “Did you touch yourself?”

“Those kinds of desires—” A flush crept up your neck as his lips pressed a wet kiss to your throat. “I did not.”

The thought lingered in your head at night, your hand creeping to your mound. Yet you could not—you would not do something so dirty. At least not without guidance.

His lips curved into a smile against you. “Would you like to?”

“Sae,” you called out as he nipped at your skin. “Are you teasing me? No, I want to do it.”

Your finger softly dug into his cheeks as he continued to mouth at your neck like some kind of dog. “Did you hear me? I want to do it.”

“I heard you." His teeth grazed the tips of your fingers. “Do you think you’re ready for that kind of thing?”

“Yes! I’m aching, Sae," you huffed. “I’m aching, and it’s your fault.”

You weren’t lying, not at all. Even though you had just came, the heat returned between your legs and throbbed incessantly. It was maddening—an ailment only he could cure.

“Oh no,” Sae said, almost mockingly. “What are we going to do about that?”

Your ears reddened as his lashes fluttered against your damp skin. “Do that thing where you— Where you put your—”

His fingers trailed from your waist to your lower stomach, rubbing soft, slow circles on the warmth.

“But you have to learn, princess." His chin hooked over your shoulder, his cerulean eyes glimmering softly under the candlelight. “So you don’t get hurt.”

Your breath hitched—his arm was hooked tight around your waist, his bicep flexing with each breath, and his hand trailing to your cunt. “S-Sae…”

“Lift your dress,” he said lowly.

Your trembling fingers clutched into the hem of the fabric and lifted, the frills snaking up your thighs.

“Good,” he pressed lips to the juncture of your neck. “Keep it lifted.”

Sae’s cold fingers brushed over your mound, the tips of his middle and ring fingers collecting your slick between your folds.

“Mm—” Your head lolled to the side, your temple pressing against his cheek.

“Relax,” he said, angling his middle finger to slowly inch inside of you again. “Tell me if it hurts.”

Your hips bucked into his as he slipped his finger into your heat, your hole clenching around the intrusion. “Sae…”

Your breath was hot against his, your gaze catching his hooded one as his lips seared over yours, his hot tongue slipping into your mouth. His hand around your waist snaked over your breast, giving a soft, reverent squeeze.

You whined into his mouth as his ring finger pressed against your entrance, slowly testing itself to stretch your hole around his digits. “Sae!”

“Does it hurt?” he rasped, his tongue licking the seam of your bottom lip. “Tell me.”

You mewled as he inched in slower, your hole twitching softly. “A-A little.”

“Want me to stop?”

“No,” you shook your head. “Keep going.”

“Want me to slow down?”

You huffed. “No! I-I said keep going—”

A moan escaped your lips as his knuckles hit your folds, his digits inserted so deep that you could feel every single twitch. “Oh, Sae!”

He let you accommodate the stretch as the tips of his fingers curled into your sweet spot, leaving you breathless. “Gotta learn how to touch yourself, princess.”

Sae’s lips sucked onto a spot on your neck, his thumb flicking to rub tight circles over your swollen clit. “For when I’m not around, but I’m sure that won’t happen.”

Your hole clenched tighter as his fingers began to slowly withdraw, pushing inside your tight heat as he thumbed your clit. “Hngh, Sae!”

“Right?” He leaned in close, panting as his lips pressed against your ear. “Gonna be a princess— My princess, right?”

Your head began to spin as he pistoned his fingers in and out, curling into your cunt before his thumb meanly pressed onto your clit. “Are you listening?”

“I’ll be your—” you moaned sweetly, your temple nudging his chin. “I’ll be your princess, Sae. Wanna cum…”

Sae’s digits stilled for a second, his gaze darkening. “You want to cum, hm?”

His index pressed against your entrance, slowly nudging inside. Your eyes flew open at the stretch, thighs clamping down on his hand as he squeezed you tighter.

“Does it hurt?” He asked, the tip of his index stilling at your entrance. “Didn’t mean to.”

“No, no.” Your fingers snaked around his wrist, gripping tight. “I want more.”

He released a shaky huff of air against the shell of your ear, his arm adjusting his hold on you. “You have to hold still… and moooove.”

Sae propped you up so your hands pressed against the wall, his tongue darting out to lick a stripe up your ear—shooting sensations all the way down to your wet heat.

His index nudged at your entrance again, slowly pushing inside. Your eyes squeezed shut, going limp in his hold, whining at the stretch.

“I’m sorry. Sorry, sweetheart.” He cooed, pressing wet kisses to your cheeks. “Tell me if it hurts. Don’t be afraid.”

His thumb rubbed sticky, soothing circles on your aching clit, stroking the sensitive bundle of nerves, gasping lowly when you twitched and whined.

And soon, you loosened up to clench around three of his digits, your jaw slack and drool pooling at your mouth. “S-Sae, move.”

“Don’t just take it,” he whispered, his fingers curling to meet your sweet spot. “Move your hips too.”

Your cheeks flushed at his words, your chin tilting to watch his fingers dip between your legs, covered in slick and spit. “Mm…”

Sae’s hand slowly squeezed your breast, thumbing at your tightened nipple from under your dress. “C’mon, don’t be so shy. Use me.”

Slowly, you began to rock your hips against his palm, each movement hitting another ridge inside you. His breath hitched as his thumb continued rubbing sticky figure eights on your clit, his bicep clutching you tighter. It felt so, so good to ride his fingers—to use him for your heart’s desires.

“Sae,” you moaned sweetly, your nose brushing his. “Sae.” Within aching seconds, his lips met yours, tongue flicking to rub the roof of your mouth. Something sticky and hot was building in your lower stomach, the same kind that gushed all over Sae’s face. 

“M’close,” you whispered against his lips, licking the seam of his. “So close.”

“W-Wait,” he breathed out, his trembling fingers withdrawing from your dripping hole. The action left you wet and throbbing for release, your hand squeezing his.

 “What? Why would you—”

His breeches pressed into your ass as something hard and throbbing poked you. Something that made your stomach churn and your chest flutter. Something that made you clench around nothing.

“Can we?” He whispered, his arms hugging you tight.

You slowly rocked your hips against his, trapping yourself between him and the wall. “Mhm.”

Sae reached to fumble with his belt, his hands tugging down his pants to release the ache between his legs.

The twitching ache.

Your eyes widened. “Oh, that’s… Is that going inside of me?”

His head threw back in release—well, the lack thereof; his cock was spasming as fluids perled at the tip. “Yes. I… I promise it doesn’t hurt.”

Your eyes zeroed in on his flushed face, his hairline damp with sweat. “You promise?”

“It may,” he corrected, pressing a wet kiss to your cheek. “But I’ll be with you. Please you through it.”

Your breath hitched as his cock nudged your thigh, twitching as it met your soft skin. “...Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Put it in.”

“Mm…”

Sae’s hands found your hips, holding you close against the wall. His body pressed onto yours, his chin hooking over your shoulder. “You trust me?”

“P-Put it in, Sae.”

He whined softly, his forehead dropping to your shoulder as his hand reached to stroke the base of his cock a few, sticky times, before nudging the tip to your entrance.

It was more than his fingers, but it throbbed so prettily that he had to make haste.

Sae’s fingers dug into your ass cheeks, nails indenting in the plush fat. “I’m putting it in, hm? Tell me— T-Tell me everything you feel.”

The head of his cock slowly nudged your entrance, inching its way inside. Every vein and the stretch of his length sent tremors to your cunt, reeling in both a feeling of pain and ecstasy.

Your cunt grew unbearably hot, your jaw slacking. “Sae!”

“Fuck, fuck.” He gasped, gripping you tighter as he eased into you. “Stop moving.”

Yet your hips stammered on their own, your cunt fluttering around him. “S-Sae!”

“S-Stop,” he grunted, whining as he bit his inner cheek. “M’trying to go slow…”

“S’good!”

“S-So good?”

“Mhm—  Think m’gonna cum?” 

His fingers dug into your ass cheeks harder. “N-No, you’re not.”

Sae’s length bottomed out inside you, panting as his hips pressed flush against yours. His teeth bared slowly, grazing the skin of your shoulder as he groaned. “Fuck…”

Slowly, he pressed his weight further on you, his meaty bicep moving to softly wrap around your neck. Some kind of headlock one would usually only perform on other knights.

You were not a knight, but the squeeze of muscle around you made your cunt flutter around him. “You’re making me lose focus…” he huffed out, moving his other arm to wrap tightly around your waist. 

“Sae,” you mewled, your fingers digging into his forearm. “Harder.”

He whined against your shoulder, hips snapping into yours at a rough, brain-melting pace. The ramming of his hips sent sparks of fire up your spine, his arm clenched around your waist steadying you against him.

His arm squeezed tighter around your neck, his lips brushing your cheek. “Open, princess.”

Your gaze was low-lidded and hazy as you turned to meet his lips, his trembling fingers reaching to cup your jaw towards him.

Spit.

You whined into his mouth, your lips searing over his own as your tongue swept over his.

“Hold it,” he panted against your mouth, his hand around your waist snaking down between your legs, his index and middle rubbing sticky circles over your clit.

You were clenched around him tight, your eyes squeezing shut. You were close—so close, your cunt fluttering around him as a white ring of cum fluttered at the base.

“Gonna cum, Sae,” you mewled against his mouth as he tapped your clit. “Gonna cum.”

“Fuck, haah— Cum, I’m right here.” He heaved, his arms squeezing around you tight, holding you so close you could feel his thudding heart beat against you.

Sae buried his face in your shoulder, his magenta locks damp against your skin. “I love you.”

The words melted into your dizzying head, his words of affection. 

“I love you,” Sae whispered again.

You rocked your hips against the slam of his, heaving. “I love you too.”

His teeth bared to graze the skin of your shoulder before gently biting down, his fingers rubbing fast strokes on your puffy clit as you clenched again.

The fire would not stop. It would burn and burn and take you down. Yet you held him close, his damp hair, his beating heart, and his honeyed words.

And his cock rammed into your sweet spot once more, earnestly enough to bruise the spot, as you squeezed him tight and let go all at once.

Your brain melted as your hips bucked against his, your fingers digging into his forearm as his hips into yours—slower this time—steadier.

Sae pressed wet kisses to your temple, a few to your cheek, and one burning kiss to your lips. He withdrew his aching cock and pumped it a few times with his fist, whining as a warm sensation spilled over your ass cheeks.

You panted against the wall as he released his iron grip on you. Your hair was a mess—so was his, certainly. And your slick and his were everywhere.

A mess it was. It was a mess.

“Did I hurt you?” He stroked your hair, patting the messy locks down. “Still with me?”

“Mhm…” you hummed, your legs a trembling mess.

“C’mere.”

Sae spun you around and hoisted you from the undersides of your thighs, pressing you gently against the wall. “Talk to me. Are you alright?”

His eyes were soft, concerned, and hazy. You giggled softly, your arms slinging around his neck. “I’m quite alright, Sae.”

“Mm…” His lips pressed to your chest, trailing ticklish kisses up to your jaw. “You scared me, princess.”

Your fingers ran up his neck to tangle in his magenta locks, laughing against him. “Let’s do it again, prince.”

He hummed against your neck, his thumbs rubbing soft circles onto your thighs. “Again? Eager after all that?”

“You’re carrying me. It’ll be far easier." You frowned, catching his lips in a chaste kiss.

He nuzzles into your neck. “Anything the princess wishes for, I’ll grant.” 

“Anything?” You asked, your brows perking up.

“Anything.”

“Will you marry me?”

A flush crept up his neck as he stilled against you. “Why are you asking me that? That’s my job.”

“Will you marry me, Sae?” You giggled.

“Shall you ask me in such a compromising situation? Yes, I will marry you.”

“Then can we go again? And again, and again…” You trailed off, your hands cupping his damp cheeks. 

He sighed, a sigh you were ever so familiar with.

“As you wish, Your Highness.”

.

.

.

To my dearest nephew,

Do you take me for a fool? Why have you forsaken me after everything I have done for you? You are not a man who covets love, so why must you meddle in the affairs of the marriage mart, especially between a duke and his lady that I have arranged?

I do not like to be wrong. You are to explain yourself at once.

Your vexed Aunt,

Queen Charlotte. 

. 

.

.

Your Majesty,

It is true that I have never been the one for the matters of the heart, yet I find myself humbled in the presence of a bride. I offer my sincerest apologies to the Duke, for it has never been in my nature to falter nor to lack haste when it comes to desire. Yet she is not only a desire; she is a medium of life that I breathe. Over and over until all the air has escaped my lungs and I am rendered a brainless, hopeless fool, a man undone by his own devotion.

I have never quite enjoyed conversation, yet I find myself speaking and speaking to hear her laughter and the remarks she may bring forth. 

Your Majesty is never wrong, and I have forsaken you, and I yield. Sire, I yield. Yet I implore you to understand: if an angel held your heart at her mercy, with her choice to restore or ruin you, you too would allow her to govern. I am not within my proper senses, and I do not wish to be.

Nonetheless, I remain.

I remain.

I remain.

I remain in her presence for life, and though my senses have failed me, I shall also remain your most obedient servant.

Your lovesick nephew, 

Sae.

˚˖ִ໋ A/N: Dearest gentle reader, I am so unbelievably fucked after writing this. It feels like my brain and soul were sucked through a vacuum into a grandma's asshole. I hope you guys enjoyed this! Thank you sososososososo much @illuminha for beta reading and making the art for this fic. I LOVE YOU WE ALL LOVE YOU GO SUPPORT HER SHES AN AMAZING ARTIST AND WRITER. Also, I had to condense some of the paragraphs for the block limit's sake. If you want to read the original context, my Ao3 is always up! Anyways... goodbye my lovelies!