Occupational Hazards
APOTHECARY'S PERSONAL LOG BEGIN AUDIO PLAYBACK *racking, chesty-sounding coughing fit* ...nerf. I try to do that as little as possible in company. It sounds nerfing horrible and ... well, mostly, I don't want anyone to worry. I can feel them worrying, some more than others. Mae ... I generally have to tamp the Force-bond with Mae down a little these days, more so than usual. Just because the worry mixes with the guilt she still carries with her over the incident with the datacron and it ... gets a bit much. Though I have to say that I am ... somewhat glad that she is not medically minded. Too many of those close to me are these days. Xaishen is the biggest surprise in that regard, in point of fact. Not that he is an unfeeling person in any respect; just ... part of it is that I hadn't thought he considered me close enough to merit that sort of concern and part of it is the effort he expends to show only a very specific face to those around him. I imagine that largely comes from a lifetime among the Sith; the former Imperial agent, Srina'idash, is apparently much the same. Different masks worn to protect one's self, same principle. And I am obfuscating again. Xaishen, Raiyden, Rilus ... the others are worried on the general principle of 'biohazards are bad and you don't sound well', but those three know what the scans actually mean. Of course, none of this was helped by an impromptu dunk in a freezing lake the other day, and compounded further by my inability to swim; accidentally inhaling a lungful of ice-cold lake is not exactly beneficial when one's lung capacity is reduced. The Archon was not best pleased when the full extent of my condition was made known to him. It ... I was trying to tell him; just-- *racking, chesty cough* *ahem* I did try to tell him but unfortunately the conversation forcibly turned towards other matters mid-explanation so the fact that I had actually been exposed to this biohazard somehow ... got lost. My own fault, largely - it is not as if I made a particular effort to call attention to the matter. I am trying to get better at that, and at least I did ensure that at least two arbiters were aware of the situation as well as the medical staff. All the same, the Archon was not best pleased, though it was more concern than anything else. I was told that the loss of my medical skills would be a blow to everyone. I ... have examined my reaction to that statement and my conclusion is as follows: I am concerned that people will place their faith in me and I will in some way let them down, and I am still on some level convinced that I am not supposed to be noticed or acknowledged for anything I do. So I work particularly hard to ensure that I do not let anyone down - likely harder than I should in terms of my health - and yet I do not want to be indispensable. Or indeed noticed much at all. At least I am somewhat better at that. I just ... know that while there is no death in the abstract, returning to the Force does not precisely allow me to continue my duties as Apothecary. Besides, people keep insisting that I need a vacation and then tell me that I am so sorely needed and logic dictates that somewhere in there is ... a juxtaposition that I truly need to figure out. *somewhat quieter chesty cough* I am on half-shifts in medbay and we are currently in the process of trying to come up with a method of purging my lungs. The methods I have looked into so far have proved ineffective, though they have led to innovations in the treatment of other ailments, but there are other methods I am looking into. Raiyden and Xaishen are also investigating this, and there is the potential for going to Tython to see what the healers there have to say. Though I doubt it will be that simple. Sith don't tend to send things that can be even moderately easily cured with Force-healing if they want to hurt someone, and if they hadn't wanted to hurt someone, they would not have specifically sent a sample that can get past standard biofilters. Xaishen is concerned that it may spread elsewhere in my body. So far I have seen no evidence of that, but of course I'd much rather not on a first-hand symptomatic level. We are still working out a projective model of how this might spread if allowed to do so, but ... much as I dislike saying it, more samples of that nerfing fungus - not just the spores in my own system, but the actual fungus itself - would be very useful at this point. But even if this Darth was likely to send more, official policy is now that any anonymous gifts are to be spaced prior to delivery. Everyone else, at least, is doing moderately well. Arbiter Alasha is adjusting to her 'soul-bond' to the Archon, though obviously some of the sensory enhancements are taking some getting used to. Also there is a splinter sect of Garhoon who are not best pleased with the decision made - apparently they are prejudiced against humans - and there have been attempts on her life. Xaishen is also having difficulties in that his brother is framing him for crimes against sentients and multiple counts of murder by poisoning and the Council wants to detain him ... though at least Arbiter Nyomi will explain matters to them. Politics in the Nebula are becoming more unstable, with King Priam apparently trying to breed extinct dragons and a very angry individual kidnapping a relative of Queen Menalee's ... hence the unfortunate near-drowning the other day ... and something about the Horsemen-- *coughing fit* I cannot. Afford. To be sick right now.
