#punkdrien

"Not going for a heroic look this time?" she remarked snidely, the corners of her lips turning up in a smile. "Or is that too cliche for you?"

Ichor scoffs, sauntering over to the nearest chair before setting himself down on it, kicking one leg up to rest his foot against its arm.

"I wouldn't be seen dead in a getup like his. That old man can sooner lick shit off the ground than tell me how to dress."

"…You just want to look cool, don't you?"

He crosses his arms, unsure if the mask stretches far enough down his cheeks to hide the embarrased blush they just gained.

"I have a fuckin' reputation to uphold."

"I know you do," she smiles, going back to focus on her schoolwork. Ichor can't catch himself pouting over not being looked at—Not just because Marinette could walk in any minute, but because Claudia would never let him live it down. Being teased by Shadybug is relatively straightforward, but she doesn't know what makes him tick in the same way. Claudia toys with her prey psychologically, and he knows very well what it's like. No, it's not hot, shut up. Instead, he just settles further into the chair, staring off at the wall.

Finally, a trap is set. Claudia says something she knows he can't resist responding to.

"That's really all you're going to do with it? Do you know how to work it at all?"

The worst part is she doesn't even look up from her screen. Doesn't she know he's right there?

Offended, Crimson Ichor unhooks the yo-yo from his belt and starts to toss it into the air. The pattern on it is different than Shady's—A single black dot on a red base, the same on the other side. His whole suit is rather sparing with dots, frankly: He can only see the large one right on his chest for now. It'll take looking in the mirror later to notice the one on his mask and the one on his back. The yo-yo has a peculiar lightness to it, spinning in the air as he throws it upwards in a way it shouldn't physically be able to without catching on the string. A perpetual motion until he tugs it back down.

"Of course I fucking do," he blatantly lies. "…I'll figure it out."

Claudia has the audacity to just hum and nod—He's not even worth a single word anymore! Crimson Ichor sighs rather loudly, rolling his eyes as he's forced to endure the agonizing silence. Sure, having Alya or Nino in the room would at least be better than essentially being alone, but they're not any help if they're off doing…whatever it is with his father. Ichor hadn't been paying attention, nor did he really care enough to regret it.

Another flurry of keystrokes chattered out from Claudia's keyboard.

Ichor sighs even louder and longer.

Claudia looks up again, her warm brown eyes catching his. She caught him in that trap—He's willing to play the game, get eviscerated with her stupid therapy talk and amateur psychoanalysis. It just has to be something. Anything. He'd beg for i—Uhm. Nevermind.

Ichor gets up and walks over to where Claudia is sitting, making sure he's somewhere she can see him. His hand rests on the very top of her laptop screen, fingers drumming against the glass.

"So…." he asks, "Got anything in mind for what my new outfit choice says about me?" Ichor thinks back to how Claudia suggested Claw Noir's costume was indicative of fears of emotional vulnerability and aggressive tendencies when it came to interpersonal interactions. "Come on, you have to have something."

It seems for a long and kind of awful moment that Claudia ignores him entirely, before she says:

"I'm not sure yet. Thinking of nicknames instead."

Ichor's heart skips a beat and it makes him want to rip the thing out and grind it into the floor with his heel. Fucking shit, of course that's where it was going.

"How does Bugaboo sound?"

Ichor audibly retches, recoiling at the sound of it. Claudia seems to take a sick sort of pleasure in his embarrassment.

"Buggabeau?"

"God, stop it! That's even worse!"

"Buggybug?"

"I said stop it!"

Claudia shuts her laptop and set it to the side, crossing her legs as best she could on the seat of the chair. To Ichor's increasing horror, she was only just getting started.

"Bugs Bunny."

"Absolutely fucking not."

"Sir Bugsalot?'

"NO."

"The Notorius B.U.G.?"

Her smile grew even wider, every new answer coming out even more like a laugh. Trying to lunge at Claudia in an attempt to scare her into silence wasn't much help either (which only made sense considering the idea was fucking stupid), so Ichor started to throw out verbal threats instead.

"I swear to god, I'm going to charm in a fucking roll of duct tape so I can put a piece over your goddamn mouth."

Claudia's hands were intertwined with Ichor's as she continued to force him to keep a comfortable distance from her: Something she was doing suprisingly well, actually.

"Go ahead. I want to hear what alibi you'll give the others when they ask why I'm gagged. ...Oh!"

The grin that crossed Claudia's face turned Ichor's blood to ice. Once she gave up on resisting him, the force he'd previously been using to push against her hands was now pinning them to the back of the chair, Ichor's whole upper body lurching at the sudden movement. ...Still. even as he froze, the warm breath against his ear seemed to thaw him in seconds.

"Lovebug."

HE WAS GOING TO KILL HER, HE WAS FUCKING GOING TO—Was he? Probably not actually—PAINT HER BRAINS ALL OVER THE WALL FUCKING STUPID SMART MOUTH MAKING HIS STUPID SHITTY FUCKING EARS RED SON OF A BITCH WHORE GODDAMNIT—It was kind of a cute name in all honesty—STUPID BITCH IDIOT FUCK!!!! DAMNIT!!!!!!!

Ichor let out an indignant laugh, ignoring the fact that he'd used his strength in a fit of undisclosed and unimportant emotions to topple the chair backwards, both people included.

"You call me that one more time– C.... call me that one more time- Swear to god, I'm gonna... You.."

Claudia had been a little startled by her chair falling backwards, but that outburst was simply another symptom of an ongoing issue with Adrien's emotional incontinence in and out of costume. She knew him too well to be scared, even as he yanked her closer by her shirt.

"Y-you really think you can just call me something... Something stupid like 'Lovebug', and– G-get away with it?"

Ichor could still hear it echoing in his ears. Lovebug, Lovebug, Lovebug.

"You remember how we practiced our deep breaths, Adrien?"

Her voice was so soft and it ran off her stupid lips like honey and she smelled like vanilla sugar cookies and warm hugs and... and...

Marinette stood in the doorway, thoroughly unimpressed.

"I spent thirty minutes making sure I look okay and this is what I walk in on?" She balks, crossing her arms.

"Tch- Like you haven't—"

She hadn't.

"—It's not what it—"

It was exactly what it looked like.

"—You look like shit! Maybe next time transform in front of a mirror!"

Yep. Great fucking job, high fives all around. Totally didn't just blow it absolutely horribly in front of the girl of your dreams. It was a miracle people weren't lining up at the door to the Agreste manor asking Adrien just how to be even half as cool and witty as he was.

Ichor stood up, leaving Claudia and her chair on the floor.